afraid to show how weak i am

My love is not pretty and gentle.
My love is not stuttering apologies
and little dresses and running around
the corner store in the middle of summer,
coating your body with sunbeams.

My love is immune to naïveté.
It is not bare feet and carefree; it is
asphalt and weak knees. It is blacking out
and forgetting what it feels like
to kiss people without consequence.

My love is purple, the sum of intense red
strangled by daunting blue.
I am afraid to show people how much
they matter, but good God, do I
let it rope around my neck like a noose.

My love is a rain cloud, dark and dense,
infused with too many feelings.
When I am too full, my love bursts like
raindrops engulfing your head in streams;
like thunder in the middle of summer,
you will be afraid of how much
it takes out of you to overpower the sun.

My love is not the sailboat or the ocean,
but the storm that pushes it out to sea.
My love refuses to stay standstill–
it is always changing, but it never leaves.

—  My formal apology to the both of us for my inability to give you the love you wanted

There was once a time I denied my softness.
I denied that I had a heart yearning for someone
to hold it close to their chest, and never let go.
I didn’t want to show any signs of weakness.
I threw out everything I owned that was pink,
cut off half my hair, pierced my face, 
and any other body part that my mother would allow.
I kissed boys who didn’t know my name,
and got remarkably good at acting like I didn’t care.
I was so caught up in the person I was pretending to be,
I forgot how good it feels to be the person you really are.

I am soft. I do bruise like a peach. My heart loves like an open door.
I am no longer afraid of being weak.

—  I am not scared anymore | I.S.

I want a comfortable relationship.

That kind of relationship wherein we can just be ourselves. We don’t have to pretend in front of us to impress each other. We can do all the things that we want together. We see each others side and we accept it. We don’t mind about our flaws and imperfections because those things are part of our love for each other. When you have a comfortable relationship you don’t have to worry that he/she might judge you. We both know that we’re scarred and full of curves yet we don’t focus our attention on them. We know each other’s weaknesses but we embrace those stuff.

And so my baby, don’t be afraid to show the real you. I don’t mind how you act and speak, the important is, you’re comfortable with me. I just love seeing all your sides, it makes me think that i am so lucky that i’ve got the chance to see you, not just your physical appearance, but also your soul. Don’t ever think that i’ll leave you once you made a mistake, i won’t, instead i’ll hug you and tell you that you’ll learn from it and it doesn’t make you less of a person. You can act crazy in front of me, you can baby talk and you can do things that comforts you in front of me. I love everything about you and i love every bit of you. We show to each other who we really are and that’s one of the best thing when you’re in a relationship, you must know each other and that’s one of the key to make your relationship work and has a strong foundation. I want you to be comfortable being with me the same way I feel that sense of comfortableness when I’m with you. 

[150624] Yixing Studio Update: “Today, I listened to my boss talk about the little things, Go Fighting! has taught him.”

只是拼命去努力是不够的 ,
还要选对方法 , 用对技能 。

Ah life
Just working hard with all your might is not enough,
You must also pick the right means, and use the right skills.

我以为 ,
这只是一个简单的游戏 ,
但它比我想象的复杂多了 。
想要赢 ,
就要去学习它的玩法 。

I thought,
This is just a simple game,
But it’s more complicated than what I imagined it to be.
If you want to win,
Then you have to learn the way to play it.

给智商充值还没完 ,
在遇到问题时冷静思考 ,
懂得运用智商 。

Boosting your intelligence doesn’t quite achieve,
You still have to master
How to keep a cool head when facing with problems,
and how to use your intelligence.

希望大家看到我的优点 ,
也不怕节目暴露我的缺点 ,
我是做好了这个心理准备 ,
才来的 。

I came to join a reality show,
Hoping that everyone would be able to see my strengths,
I am also not afraid to show my weaknesses in this program,
I am already mentally prepared for this,
Before coming.

当我能够原谅一个人 ,
却不敢相信他的时候 ,

When I was able to forgive a person,
Yet unable to trust him at that time,
I cried.

我没有想过 ,
我应该怎样面对观众 ,
我只是真实的表达自己的感受 。

It slipped my mind,
How I should face the audience,
I was only expressing my true feelings.

大家都认为 90 后的执着 ,
有时候是鲁莽的 、 不对的 ,
但那就是真实的自己 。
以后我也不会回避我的不足 ,
我在慢慢学习和成长 。

Everyone believes, that the stubborness of those born after the ‘90’s
Is at times, reckless and wrong,
But that is only their true self.
Still, I will not ignore my shortcomings in the future.
I will slowly learn and grow.

一味的放弃原则的人 ,
不是强者 。
太固执的傻执着 ,
也是不够的 。
能在坚持原则的基础上 ,
完成所有挑战的人才厉害 。

A person who blindly gives up his principles,
Is not strong.
Stubbornly and foolishly be willfull.
Is also not enough.
Being able to adhere to the basis of your principles.
And still complete all the challenges is the true ace.

SOURCE: This was posted in IMAGE format

CREDIT: yixingology | tumblr & jiashuais | twitter