afraid to show how weak i am

I feel too much. I always saw this as a weakness. I saw it as a flaw. Feeling every little thing down to the bottom of my core. You said it’s what you love most about me. The way I care, the way I am not afraid to show my tears over the stupidest of things. You tell me you love how I love all things, how I wish I could save everyone and everything. How I put others before myself. You always tell me to hold on to the feelings that flow through me and never let myself give in to all the negatives the world can offer because then I’ll become numb to it all. “Keep feeling the wind caress your cheek. Always cry when Simbas father dies. Drag me to the local pet store to purchase those betas in the containers because you want to rescue them all and then throw me a tantrum when I don’t let you. Call me over to remove the spider you are afraid of but then get angry at me when I kill it instead of releasing it outside like you requested. I love all those things about you. I love how you feel all the lives around you. ” But what will become of all my feelings the day you decide to leave me..will I then become numb to it all.

anonymous asked:

The gross part is you turning an incredible female hero into an object. There was no more sexual innuendo in her fights than in fights between men. You might have a thing for kylo but the character of rey does not. And her fight scenes are not a sexual come on dance for kylo. You reducing her to how her body looks wet while fighting is sexist period. Whether you are a woman or man doing it.

These REDUCTIVE uninformed arguments are OLD, antis.

Female sexuality is NOT wrong.
It is not “turning a woman into an object” when she is KICKING ASS, taking names, and the sexual tension is in the SUBTEXT.

It’s not like Rey is running around in booty shorts and tits out, or falling victim at every turn for all the BOYS to come and SAVE her (Twilight - a comparison y'all misinformed basics like to throw out there like you know how to make parallels at all).

Sit down for a second. Ask yourself why you are so quick to throw out the window decades of storytelling techniques that are used as SUBTEXT because you want to specifically AVOID sexualizing a character in the LEAST. Their origins come from a more conservative time - sure - but nowadays are used to make stories thrilling and keep up the tension.

If telling the story of female adolescence - which WILL include sexuality - bothers you, I need you to ask yourself who the real misogynist is.

Once again, all together:

It. Is. Not. A. Bad. Thing. For. Women. To. Be. Sexual.
It. Is. Ok. For. Women. To. Feel. Sexually. Attracted.
It. Is. Ok. For. A. Heroine. To. Have. Romance. Or. Sexuality.

It’s ok to show sexual imagery, it’s ok to hint and put in subtext, it’s ok for her to be CONFUSED about her attraction - which is a huge point I will touch on in a second. Women ARE confused about sexuality cause people like you going around and saying that using CLASSIC film techniques and picking up on the FIRE and chemistry is somehow SEXIST. Great, so women don’t get to analyze films about heroines now, because we gotta tiptoe around antis who don’t know the difference between subtext and objectification.

Watch the new Wonder Woman for reference, if you’d like to see some female sexuality done right! And, in my opinion, JJ did an AMAZING job with the way he portrayed female sexuality in TFA. I know y'all antis wanna refuse it was there, but the imagery used was - again - classic! And it was FIRE and beauty. And it was done SO tastefully. So tastefully, in fact, that a lot of people didn’t get it… lol, the irony in this conversation though.

Look, if you can’t see subtext in a woman standing on the edge of a cliff, locking eyes with a man for 20+ seconds, who is saying, “I can show you the ways of the Force.” then… I dunno if we were watching the same film to be honest. If y'all can watch that fight scene and not see a beautiful, marvelous yin and yang dance… I’m actually SAD for you and the beauty you missed out on. You saw a basic fight?? How sad, seriously, that you missed the imagery, the symbology, the representation of a woman discovering and conquering her fierceness - and yes - conquering her sexuality. It is EPIC. AND IT IS FEMINIST. And I will FIGHT you on that.

I want you to really imagine for ONE moment that fight between Kylo and Rey, and put ANY OTHER TWO CHARACTERS there. Put Darth Maul and Obi-wan on that cliff, staring into each others’ eyes for 20+ seconds, with Maul - his face aglow in the cross-section of interlocked sabers - saying, “I can show you the ways of the Force!”

You can’t imagine it - or if you can you are thinking, “that is RIDICULOUS.” Only characters with sexual energy can pull off a scene like that. That doesn’t deprive Rey of her agency - SHE STILL KICKED HIS ASS. However, you DO deprive the scene of its sheer beauty and symbolism, missing the mark of a chance for female sexuality to be PORTRAYED AS AWESOME AND KICK ASS AND POWERFUL.

It is not a bad thing for women to show their bodies a little bit and be empowered as they do. It is not a bad thing for women to be attracted to someone physically, even if in her mind she thinks, “no way!” That’s actually the ENTIRE point of the Beauty and the Beast archetype btw - which y'all antis keep dismissing, but I keep SAYING. So much is clear in TFA and it becomes clearer as more details come out from TLJ.

Oh, and read up on some Carl Jung and get to know the Anima/Animus, the coming together of the male and female, LIGHT and DARK. Why? Because that’s what Rian Johnson claims is his big influence for writing TLJ. I wonder… now… what two characters could come together in a union to represent the balance of the LIGHT… and the DARK….?????….?

Anyway, seriously, I am upset by this ask… it is so reductive and shallow it makes me ill. Anyone who wants to, feel free to add onto this. I am tired at this point, because I am actually sick at how reductive people are about art and the portrayal of female characters within it… like we have to throw hundreds of years of women’s stories out the window because people are afraid of showing a sexual woman coming into her sexuality and owning it on screen.

You raised me and I know I should be grateful. I am, but not in the way you would expect. Thank you for showing me parts of life that give me more depth. Thank you for making me understand happiness. I would not have appreciated it so much if I hadn’t seen the other side. Thank you for ruining me, I made sure to paint the cracks, I only never realized it was the worst kind of poison.

I am tired, beyond tired. Broken. Lonely, you made me realize to not depend on others. Do not show emotions, those are weak. No one wants to see them. I can not process them now, I don’t know how to cope. You’re little girl has spend more than half of her life wanting to die and you knew. You fucking knew. And you did nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Am I even worth something?

I’ve been diagnosed with a personality disorder. I’ve been too afraid to tell you, I’ve fallen back into old habits. Habits I once created because I had to keep everything to myself. Because I was not worthy enough to actually listen to. Have i ever meant something? Did you ever really see me? Have you ever really looked into my eyes? Did you see what you have done? Did you see what I became?

It is impossible for you to not notice anything. You once even told me you thought of me while watching a documentary about a kid who has had a difficult childhood. He killed the people living in his old house because he thought it were his parents. So do not tell me you did not know. Tell yourself you did nothing about it.

Sometimes I wonder what you would have done if I had succeeded. Probably drinking more and more. Or killing yourself. You where always good at threatening. I still dream about those things sometimes you know. No child should ever go through that.

Sometimes I wonder if you still would have me if you knew I would became this. I was never good enough in your eyes anyway. Do you know I still struggle with that ever single day? Not being good enough? Even with this diagnosis. I won’t fit in your perfect picture (which i never did), I’m terrified of telling you. So here I am, again, keeping it all to myself.

—  A letter to the people who raised me. // I could go on for ages. But I’m tired, beyond broken.
DEAR BROTHER

I struggle to define myself. I struggle to derive the meaning of my blackness today. I love it, my blackness, that is. The world wants me to bend, fold, shift and shimmy just so they can be comfortable. They’d rather have you believe that your presence causes fear, rather than embracing the light that you harbor. Do not dim yourself for the comfort of someone else. The transition from black boy to black man is to shed yourself of anything that can be perceived as weakness. Some nights, I simply sit and stare and wonder if i have forgotten how to cry. I hope to remember. I am trying to reconnect with a part of me that has been snuffed out.

I want my brothers and I to live without boundaries. Spread the wings that you have hidden for so long and reach heights you were afraid to imagine. Take pride in the power of self expression. I will never be ashamed to tell you that I love you. They will tell you that it is weakness, but there is strength in showing love. There is strength, in respecting and uplifting black women. There is strength inside of you. As I write this, I feel as if I’ve forgotten that there is strength inside of me too. I struggle to define myself, and that is okay. I am too complex of a being to be deconstructed in a paragraph. Black men are not a monolith. We are as unique as snowflakes, beautiful as a sunrise, and as strong as the pull of the ocean.

I pray that we recognise this.

I love you.

- Seunfunmi Tinubu for GreenInc.

My love is not pretty and gentle.
My love is not stuttering apologies
and little dresses and running around
the corner store in the middle of summer,
coating your body with sunbeams.

My love is immune to naïveté.
It is not bare feet and carefree; it is
asphalt and weak knees. It is blacking out
and forgetting what it feels like
to kiss people without consequence.

My love is purple, the sum of intense red
strangled by daunting blue.
I am afraid to show people how much
they matter, but good God, do I
let it rope around my neck like a noose.

My love is a rain cloud, dark and dense,
infused with too many feelings.
When I am too full, my love bursts like
raindrops engulfing your head in streams;
like thunder in the middle of summer,
you will be afraid of how much
it takes out of you to overpower the sun.

My love is not the sailboat or the ocean,
but the storm that pushes it out to sea.
My love refuses to stay standstill–
it is always changing, but it never leaves.

—  My formal apology to the both of us for my inability to give you the love you wanted

anonymous asked:

More from Hux's personal journal? (if you don't mind)

first part here! ✨

Entry #223
Master Kylo Ren has been on board the Finalizer for 196 days. I love him immensely.

Entry #227
He tells me to call him Kylo, but I can’t help but call him Ren. No one else calls him by that name. And I want to keep it that way. Just me.

Entry #230
Ren destroyed another console today. I’ve deduced that it isn’t purely anger he feels when he lashes out. It’s fear; fear of failure and fear of punishment. From whom, I can assume it’s his master.

Entry #231
He calms down when I touch him. He’s learning to come to me when he’s getting distressed so I can take care of him. Bathe him, talk to him, or even just hold him. Ren, despite his domineering appearance, is the most fragile soul I have ever encountered.

Entry #245
I told him about Armitage. He told me about Ben. I didn’t think it were possible to despise General Organa more than I currently do. I was wrong.

Entry #262
Ren isn’t acting like himself. He’s distant, elusive. He’s denying himself my attention and I fear something is wrong with him.

Entry #270
Snoke knows. About the two of us, about our feelings. Ren is afraid that his master will see it as us compromising each other, a new pressure point for enemies to exploit. I tried to reassure him that the Supreme Leader surely will approve of our relationship but I find it difficult to lie to one who can read minds.

Entry #278
Ren had his first night terror last night. I awoke to him screaming and kicking, begging someone to stop the pain, even crying out my name a few times. Eyes open, I’ve never seen him look so panicky before. And as much as I shook him, he remained terrified until he calmed naturally and I rocked him back to sleep. He’s in the fresher as I type this. He’s told me he has no memory of what happened, or what terrified him so much.

Entry #281
Snoke has requested a meeting with us about the updates on Project Starkiller, though I imagine there’s more than just my superweapon plans that he wishes to discuss.

Entry #284
Our meeting with the Supreme Leader went better than I expected. He congratulated us on our companionship–an odd choice of word but I chose not to comment–and told Ren that I will be a good fuel for his passion. I questioned what he meant by such terminology but my query was waved away. Ren won’t answer me either. The sex this night was silent.

Entry #290
Am I being used? Just a pawn in a game of two Force-users, manipulating my mind and body for their own satisfaction? Snoke to gain a super weapon and Ren to gain my love–. Or my body.

Entry #291
I won’t believe it. I’ve felt things with him that I thought I never would.

Entry #296
You know, I had a reoccurring dream whilst I was studying at the Academy. I’ve fallen into a river, it’s rapids taking me away from everything I’ve ever known and, just before my last breath leaves me, I’m pulled out of the freezing water by a pair of hands that always felt familiar, always felt like I could trust them. And only when Ren lay his hands upon me for the first time did I realise that I’ve been dreaming of him saving me from drowning in the savage rapids of a river. Though I admit, I still neglect to tell him this. And I’m not sure why.

Entry #300
Ren is being deployed on a two month mission next week. He says it’ll be alright, that he’s confident he’ll be able to cut the time in half with his skills in battle. I laughed.

Entry #349
I sit alone in my office, ignoring my work and focussing solely on the goodbye I’ve just given Ren. I didn’t like how it felt. Too final, as though it’s the last time I’m going to ever see him. He’s more capable than I give him credit for; he could conquer an impossibility and I’d still act unimpressed. I fear I have too much of my father in me.

Entry #361
After a comcall from Ren this evening, I’ve decided on something final. He is worthy, he is mine, and I am not my father. I find myself wondering whether I’ve always been too harsh on the people around me, always too critical, always wanting better.

Entry #362
I worry that young Armitage would fear the man that he has become.

Entry #363
I worry that I fear the man I have become.

Entry #364
Ren returns to me soon, and I have no reservations about changing myself. He has suffered, more than me, and is still suffering. I’ve seen what my love has done for him, what it continues to do for him, and I’m not going to neglect him of it anymore.

Entry #369
I love him. Terribly so. But I am not afraid. Not this time. I cannot afford to be. He needs me, I can sense it, I can–.

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Entry #370
I have tried and failed to find words that will show how much pain I am in. Sentence after sentence written only to be wiped from existence with the touch of a button. If only feelings were that easy. Ren and I have terminated our relationship. He informed me that Snoke had showed him my true intentions. That, just like my father, I use people for their strengths to compliment my weaknesses, exploiting them for my own gain.

Entry #371
I am beginning to dream about drowning again. But this time, I wake just as my last breath is consumed by the icy water. There are no hands to save me, no familiar warmth. Just death.

Entry #372
Armitage wouldn’t have liked Ben. A Jedi, the son of a smuggler and a princess, with ears too big for his head and eyes are dark as the wildest of midnights, Ben Solo would have been an enigma to Armitage, but he would have tried to solve the puzzle. Maybe succeeded, instead of failing like I have with Ren.

Entry #373
I find myself constantly thinking about filling an entry for this journal, like it’s a piece of Ren that I still have before he was turned against me. I read back over my own words, mourning the loss of the only good thing that I’ve ever had. It isn’t fair. It’s never been fair. I suppose I should have learned that lesson by now.

Entry #374
Ren. My darling Kylo. If you have somehow managed to hack into my datapad and access this journal, know that the words written here are true, and I love you. I love you. I am not the one using you. Snoke is. And you know it’s true. I have seen firsthand the fear that he strikes into your heart, the terror that haunts your dreams from fear of failing him, of the punishment you’ll have to bear. I will carry on protecting you as best I can without you knowing, for losing you would mean losing myself.

Entry #375
If you strike the match, you have to be burned.


MENU —> OPTIONS —> DELETE —> DELETE ALL ENTRIES

CONFIRM PERMANENT DELETION OF ALL 375 ENTRIES - Y / N

DELETION CONFIRMED

DELETION SUCCESSFUL

:: WELCOME, NEW USER ::


Entry #001
This is the personal and private journal of General Armitage Hux, documenting the progress and development of Starkiller Base. Master Kylo Ren is nothing to me. Emotions are weakness. I will not fail again.

beatrix-franklin  asked:

47 Turndaette , 50 Shrixie pretty please💖 {loving your fics so much!!}

Thank you :D

47: “You’re seriously like a man-child,” Shelagh notes, hands on her hips, as she looks at the adoring look Patrick is giving his new car.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Patrick asks, his brows furrowed but his mouth framed by a smile.

“Boys and their toys are the same thing as men and their cars,” Shelagh says, remembering how Timothy used to polish his toy cars and planes till they shone every week.

“Do I detect a hint of sinful jealousy here, Mrs. Turner?” Patrick says, smirking.

“Not at all, Mr. Turner, because…” she starts, but Patrick closes her in his arms and presses his mouth to hers, cutting off whatever explanation she wanted to give with the sweetest of kisses.

“Just remember that you are my favourite toy of all, darling, one that I’ll never tire of and I will always love and shower with attention and respect,” he says, resting his forehead against hers and rubbing the tip of his nose against her till she rolls her eyes and smiles, too.

 

50: “Oh God, I need a drink,” Trixie whispers, hands in her hair and tears on her cheeks.

“You don’t need a drink, Trixie, and I don’t believe you really want one, either,” Shelagh says.

“I always want one, but I don’t want the second, or the third, or the fourth, or however many follow if I have one, and I don’t want the shame and the guilt come morning, either,” she confesses, dabbing at her eyes with her handkerchief to stop her mascara from running.

Shelagh feels slightly out of her depth here, so she falls back on her usual method: taking the speaker’s hand in hers and staying silent, listening to whatever needs to be said.

“Sometimes I am desperately afraid that I will not be able to control myself, and I’ll grab a bottle and drink all of it, because even if I don’t like the way it burns down my throat like bile, I like how it makes my thoughts hazy, and my sight blur, and allows me to stop thinking about everything, and then I feel weak,” Trixie says, her bottom lip trembling.

“To know all of this about yourself, and to fear it, shows me that you aren’t weak, Trixie,” Shelagh says, pulling Trixie close so she can have what she really needs: a good hug and a long cry.

I am a woman of perverse secrets; lip-locked to moments I could never grasp. With a dream-catcher for a heart, I am crafted together by lost dreams and fantasies come to life. I am a woman made of soft scars, bruises built on each other as if my body wanted to recreate the Tower of Babel. I am the lonely in a poor man’s whistle, the slurring in a disgraced soldier; I am the thrill of a seduced mind.
I have eyes like rusted nails you will constantly snag your soul on. Fingers like jagged rocks; throw your ocean at me, child and watch as I swallow the sky and you. I am my own dark, my own chained beast; I have the hunger of a countless spiteful gods.
Never wear your favorite dress near me, in fact wear nothing at all, for I will show how to love the wildflowers on a ruined wall.
I am the truth in a myth, the goddess every religion tried to paint but oh, how they failed. How they cried. I am doves at a mourning; blood coated vulture, I will tear apart what rots me. Do not confuse my gentle with weakness, I have the rage of mothers before me and I am not afraid to come out a monster.
Perhaps I was broken once, but the pieces have been picked up and I have built myself a new body full of glass shards. And I am happy. I will not apologize for my awkward sadness nor will I shrink my universe to lay comfortably in your palm. I will take an axe to those wrists – learn to love an overflowing sink.
I am the embodiment of Lilith and Eve. I am never too much. You are never too much. You can be peach pits lodged in craven throats. You can be a wallflower with death for lipstick. Goddamnit, you can be the holiest creature and still shoot as if you were born to hunt.
—  A SURVIVOR’S ANTHEM // Camillea
A Dirty Little Secret

Theo Raeken x Reader

Word count: 1802

Request:  Hey I was wondering if I could request an imagine where the reader is Lauras daughter, but was taken by the ghost riders around the time Peter killed her, which is why no one in the Hale family has mentioned her, and when the pack saves Stiles she’s also saved and since she’s a werewolf without a pack she joins Scotts pack after explaining who she is. And she’s got the typical Hale sass you know? And maybe she falls in love with Theo and actually manages to keep him on the good side? Thanks!

A/N: Hey, here it is! Hope you like it. I made a few changes, hope you don’t mind. Sorry for any wrong word, English is not my fisrt language. Anyways, enjoy!!


Keep reading

probably-going-to-hell-2  asked:

I wonder what the 2ps would do/think/say if they found out that the reader was scared of them 😏😆

((awwh, then she’d unknowingly be afraid of a bunch of dorks.))

if a 2P found out you were scared of him

2p!america: seriously? *..smirks* that’s kinda hot, do you know where i can find her? *laughs lowly and goes to hit on you, later admits you have nothing to be afraid of*

2p!china: scared? of me? huh… *chuckles* that’s so cute. she’s probably an innocent little thing, yeah? hmm… do you have her number? *sends you silly texts to mess with you but eventually wants to start getting to know you + prove he’s a good guy that would never hurt you*

2p!england: *tilts head* excuse me? i don’t understand…? *after being told again, he looks down somberly* but why would anyone be scared of me… ;; n ;; oh… i’ve got a fantastic idea!~ she will no longer be intimidated by me if i bake her a scrumptious cake, yes?? :’DDDD

2p!france: i’m not surprised

2p!russia: isn’t everyone?

2p!italy: *laughs quietly* how precious. however… she understands i am not going to do her any harm, correct..?

2p!germany: the fuck? lmao??! *looks at you, shouts:* PROBLEM BITCH? *laughs at your expression, then proceeds to notice you’re legitimately afraid* oh hey… *voice softens* you can be scared of ole’ ludwig, but i’m totally nice, got it? *awkwardly pets your head* yo, let’s start over. i’m lutz and i think you’re cute! ;)))))

2p!japan: *rolls eyes* lots of people are intimidated by me. i think it just means they’re weak.

2p!canada: huh? *makes weird face* uh… like, why?

2p!romano: *snickers* is that so… *halsey voice*  “goddamn right, you should be scared of me~!” *eventually stops snickering* ah, kidding! where is the little darling? i’ll show her how fabulous and friendly i truly am~

2p!austria: *cue sadistic grin* how interesting…..,, i cannot deny that this information is pleasing~ however, tell that angel that i am not planning any malicious intent regarding her, okie doke?

2p!prussia: ……..,,, *cONFUSED NOISES??* a-are you sure she’s talking about me..??

anonymous asked:

I am a really emotional and temperamental person (an angry TrAINwreck) but I try hard to maintain a calm and composed presence. It works, people that don't know me have called me strange, quiet, nice and unemotional. But it feels like hiding and I want to kind of stop doing it and open up, but I am afraid friends will think I'm acting out and other people will see me as weak and unstable. How do I slowly assert myself without it being too much and out of control? *sigh*

Just start opening up a little bit more, start going with your second thought. I’ve seen before that your first reaction to something is usually what you society has trained you to think and the second thought is usually more accurate to your actual personality, so be proud of who you are and show yourself! Friends will accept who you really are and you may even make more friends once you’re more comfortable with being yourself :)

Join my sleepover!

» daenerys targaryen sentence meme ( book & show )

Feel free to adjust sentences to make it fit your muse better!

  • ❝ I must be strong. I must have fire in my eyes when I face them, not tears. ❞
  • ❝ Perhaps I cannot make my people good, but I should at least try to make them a little less bad. ❞
  • ❝ All men must die, but we are not men. ❞
  • ❝ Do not presume to teach me lessons. ❞
  • ❝ Do you know what frightens me? I said farewell to a man who loves me. A man I thought I cared for. And I felt nothing. Just impatient to get on with it. ❞
  • ❝ Will you fight for me? Swear to me. ❞
  • ❝ A man who fights for gold can’t afford to lose to a girl. ❞
  • ❝ I’m not going to stop the wheel, I’m going to break the wheel. ❞
  • ❝ A dragon is no slave. ❞
  • ❝ My reign has just begun. ❞
  • ❝ It is not your screams I want. Only your life. ❞
  • ❝ I have a gift for you as well. Your life. ❞
  • ❝ You are small men. None of you are fit to lead. But I am. So I will. ❞
  • ❝ I don’t want to be his Queen. I want to go home. ❞
  • ❝ I will answer injustice with justice. ❞
  • ❝ I will not lie with you. And I will bear no children, for you, or anyone else. Not until the sun rises in the west, and sets in the east. ❞
  • ❝ Fire cannot kill a dragon. ❞
  • ❝ This is not life. ❞
  • ❝ I swear to you, these men will die screaming. ❞
  • ❝ Is it so far from madness to wisdom? ❞
  • ❝ I must be their strength. I must show no fear, no weakness, no doubt. ❞
  • ❝ I want to make my kingdom beautiful. ❞
  • ❝ He sent me poison wine, yet I live and he is gone. ❞
  • ❝ Yet even crowned, I am a beggar still. ❞
  • ❝ A queen must listen to all. ❞
  • ❝ If I look back I am lost. ❞
  • ❝ The fire is mine. ❞
  • ❝ Do you know what it’s like to be sold, squire? I do. ❞
  • ❝ Do you think I have forgotten how it felt to be afraid? ❞
  • ❝ It seems to me that a queen who trusts no one is as foolish as a queen who trusts everyone. ❞
  • ❝ Woman? Is that meant to insult me? I would return the slap, if I took you for a man. ❞ 
Untitled

I hide behind
The words I say
Like “I’m just fine”
And “I’m okay”

Using lies
To push away
Simply because
I’m afraid

Afraid to let my feelings show
So I stack lies like dominoes
How to fix this I don’t know
But I don’t want to be alone

So screw these lies
I’ll face my fears
And unleash the truth
For all to hear

I am not fine
I’m not okay
I can be weak
I am afraid

But still I get up every day
Because if I don’t
It’ll never change

–B.S.

Vignette

I really don’t know how to shortly explain what I have in mind as I am writing this down, but I’ll try my best.

The way to the deepest corners of me were just words away. If I had let my tongue slip, I could’ve been vulnerable. I could’ve changed my image. I could’ve shown more in the picture than what the camera could take. I was weak. I was too afraid to show the answered question to an exam that was me. I didn’t put the puzzle pieces together, instead I just moved them apart. I wish I hadn’t done that. If I hadn’t they could’ve seen this mesmerizing cave behind a waterfall. They would be looking at me differently if I only sprout those words out of me.

I was too frail. It was as if I was glass held from a 3-storey building. Honestly, now that I think of it, the only thing that I could’ve done, was to shatter. Those words that I kept to myself, could’ve changed every situation and everything that I am now. Every single part of me that I never wanted to be, wouldn’t be. Everything could’ve been in place, like I always hoped it to be.

Almost nothing is in place for me now, because of those words I was not able to sprout.

—Fin—

——————————————————————————–
Actual homework content. Thanks @bimnoodles for the help <3

anonymous asked:

I think my therapist wants me to tell my mum, what her brother had done to me. But i can't do this.. I'm afraid of it. I don't wanna do this. Am I weak?

No you´re not weak at all lovely! I´m so sorry this happened to you, you didn´t deserve any of it and alone that you´re going to therapy now and are trying to recover shows how strong you are.
You don´t have to tell your mum, you don´t have to tell anyone, unless you want to.
Sometimes (actually very often) this does more harm than good, and I´m not speaking of “destroying your family” by telling or anything, it´s not your responsibility to keep your family together, a family that not only failed to protect but also hurt you, Im speaking of the mental harm that could be done to you, if you´d talk about things you´re not ready to talk about yet and the possible hurtful statements your mum could make, if youre not very sure of yourself and confident it could possibly hurt you and your recovery a lot.
If your therapist is trying to push you to do it, please try to clarify you´re not ready yet, your therapist should understand and not trying to force something that could potentially be very harmful to you and your mental state.
I know I already said this but, you´re not weak at all. Youre strong alone for surviving what happened and now trying to cope.
Stay safe and take care lovely xxx

anonymous asked:

Hey can I ask you what your opinion of Nesta is?

Nesta Archeron is a very complex character. She may not show it, but she cares. a lot. She gets blinded by what she feels and acts. Her emotions cloud her judgement sometimes and i think that she cannot think straight sometimes. Like when she bared her throat to Cassian or her near starving herself to get her father to act. 

Like, I think that Nesta seems more favorable towards Elain because she believes that Elain needs protecting. She knows that Feyre can hold her own. But she still went after her, or at least tried to, when the tool fucking took her.

She is so afraid to be seen as weak and vulnerable that is why she comes off as cold and bitchy. I think that she is kind of afraid to show her vulnerable side so she uses her rage as armor. She doesn’t know how to express herself.

I love Nesta. She is angry. She is mad. She protects the ones she loves. 

I am ready babe. I am ready for nesta to straight up LEVEL hybern and his cronies. 

Nesta was so special as a human. And now she is fae. But not just regular or high fae, Nesta is special. She is going to be so badass in the third book and I am ready. I am so ready.

Imagine hiding your emotions from Thorin in order to earn his respect but eventually becoming overwhelmed and him surprising you by comforting you

For @lokis-imaginary-friend :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nearly eaten alive by trolls, caught in the middle of a stone giant battle, almost killed by goblins and torn apart by wargs. These had been the life threatening situations you’d had to deal with for the last few months.

You reevaluated your life choices as you ran towards a small house Gandalf had instructed you to head towards and realised you’d made huge mistake when you struggled against a bear like beast on the other side of the house’s door.

Keep reading

You were right when you told me that i don’t deserve you.

At first, i never understood you because how can you say that i don’t deserve you? You’re all i want that time, i see you as someone i want to spend my every day life with. For me you deserve me and my love for you. That’s what i thought, but then again i realized a lot of things.


That line i don’t deserve you make sense now. I finally understand why we need to go on separate ways. Because now i can finally say to myself and to you that i don’t deserve you. I deserve someone whom i can give my heart and he will hold it tight as if it’s his own. I deserve someone who won’t let me wait for his reply for more than an hour. I deserve that person who will make me realize and feel how beautiful i am. I deserve someone who won’t leave me and keep on choosing me. I deserve someone who will show his soul and flaws to me and not afraid to tell me his fears and weakness. I deserve someone who won’t give up on me no matter what happen. I deserve someone who'a not just good with words, but that person who will make me feel how much he loves me. I guess i truly deserve this man who will love me unconditionally and will tell me promises and keep each one of them. That person whose love is pure and true.


And i think i’ve found him.

—  and i deserve him
Part 2

Dipper bolted upright in surprise, which he instantly came to regret as his aching body slumped, unceremoniously, back into his make shift bed.

A little more careful this time Dipper pulled himself up slower than before. A light groan escaped his lips, as he tried to focus on his surroundings.

He heard a slight shifting noise, his ears flicking about on their own to try to pinpoint the source. Less than a minute later he heard scraping  along the side of the door that led to another room.

Dipper’s body tensed runrunrun His instincts took over before he could recognize the face of his non-harmful Gargrunkle. Who was closing the space between the two monsters faster than Dipper had anticipated.

Dipper quickly pulled away, forgetting his injuries for a second, which he would come to regret.

He landed face first in a pillow as his knees buckled and sent him toppling over. A strong hand lifted him up more carefully than Dipper would have expected.

“It’s ok Dipper, you’re safe.”

He felt another hand land on his back. Reassuring the young deertaur that he was indeed out of harms way - for the moment.

The, now calm, preteen took the time to observe his surroundings.

He was in the Mystery Shack, he could tell by looking out the window it was to early to be up. Dipper was placed in a pile of blankets and pillows nestled near the couch. Reminding him of a disgruntled pillow fort. He was, sort of, facing the direction of the T.V. which was turned off at the moment. The room was dark and seemed a little -

“You had me worried kid.”

Surprised Dipper turned towards his gragrunkle. Pain instantly shot up his back and he cringed, sliding farther back into the pillows, and completely forgetting about his observations.

“Here.”

Stan noticed the subtle movement and picked up a glass of water that had been sitting on the skeletal head of their makeshift night stand, handing it to the boy. “You want to tell me what happened last night?”

Dipper didn’t make eye contact as he accepted the glass, and to tell the truth he didn’t remember that much of what had transpired the previous night anyway.

“I… uh I don’t…”

Stan’s brow knitted together, not a good sign.

“Mabel was worried sick about you Dipper. What were you even doing out that late?! I’ve told you-”

“I Know!”

Stan looked in surprise towards Dipper, he hadn’t lifted his head, but his face appeared to be a little flush.

“I know it was stupid OK, I made a mistake I get it…it… it won’t happen again.”

“What’s wrong.”

“huh?”

Stan had said it as more of a statement. It had caught Dipper off guard. He definitely wasn’t expecting that response.

“What’s wrong.”

Dipper swallowed thickly.

“I get it kid, it’s not easy with this whole monster thing and you -”

NO.”

“What?”

“You don’t get it, none of you get it.”

“Dipper, what are you talking about?”

Dipper had never made eye contact the whole time, which was starting to worry Stan a little bit.

Out of nowhere Dipper went into a coughing fit, body shaking slightly as Stan placed a had on his nephew’s back.

“Dipper.”

The boy hesitantly looked up at Stan.

“Tell me… please." 

Dipper hadn’t noticed the tears that started to silently fall down his cheeks. He silently cursed himself for showing such weakness. His Gargrunkle- scratch that- his Grunkle was waiting patiently for him.

"All of you…. all of you are monsters, monsters that can easily tear apart flesh and bone….” Stan started to get an idea of where this was going. “You can easily defend yourselves from attacks.”

A sad smile crossed Dipper’s face.

“And here I am, I mean, I already thought I was weak, but look at how pathetic this is. A prey animal, a deer. A deer in a house of Monsters-”

He chocked back a sob.

“I CAN’T DO ANYTHING! I’M ALWAYS AFRAID!”

Another sob.

“I thought that maybe if I could find the cure… maybe, I could do something to help…”

He couldn’t even look at Stan anymore. Stan had tried to toughen him up, and look at him, sniveling like a baby. Stan has every right to be disappointed in him, to make fun of him, to-

His thoughts were cut short as Dipper instantly tensed when two gigantic arms wrapped around him.

What was he going to do?!

The arms didn’t move, they weren’t strangling him, nor were they hurting him. They were gentle and comforting.

“Listen kid you don’t need to be strong, you have more courage than some of the guys around gravity falls, but if you want to find that cure - which we all know you can - you can’t die on us, kapeesh?”

“So get some sleep. We all believe you can find a way to fix this.”

Stan didn’t know how long he had sat there holding the injured deertaur until almost all of his sniffles had died out, and a more normal breathing pattern had taken its place. He really felt bad for the kid. Gargoyles, gorgon, vampires, clay homunculi, and even werewolves.

But this was Dipper he was talking about, the kid always pulled through,

Always.

 

Liam- What’s The Difference?

Request:  can you do an imagine where the reader is liam’s ex girlfriend and allisons little sister and a old pack member who moved away but comes back when she hears what Theo did to her friends and she kills Theo and is about to kill the rest of the Chimera’s but before she kills the rest of them Scott tells her that this isn’t what allison would have wanted and she tells him that allison told her to protect others and she’s protecting her friends set after the most recent episode

A/N- So this one went a little differently than the request, but I really enjoyed writing it. 

You let out a sharp cry of pain as you slammed into the wall of the temple, your head cracking on the cold stone. Sliding to the ground with a thump, you managed to look up through your blurry eyes. Footsteps slowly thumped on the floor, a menacing reminder that you probably weren’t getting out of Tezcatlipoca alive.
Kate walked toward you with a smile that you guessed was supposed to be comforting, but after knowing what she had done to the Hales, you would never be able to see her as anything but a monster.
“Bitch,” you spat as you brought a hand up to your bloodstained hair.
“Oh come on,” Kate said with a roll of her eyes. “No hug from my favorite neice?”
“I was never your favorite,” you told her softly. “That was always Allison.”
“Alright, I’ll give you that one,” she said. “And I’m a little disappointed that you were the one left standing. But I can work with you.”
“Work with me?” you asked suspiciously.
Kate leaned forward and smiled wider, almost condescendingly. Your eyes flickered down the long tunnels for a brief second, wondering if there would be anyone to help you. Your knife was somewhere on the floor where Kate had knocked it away from you, and you couldn’t get to it to defend yourself.
You knew the rest of the pack were upstairs in the church, trying to save Scott. You had come to Mexico to find him and Kira, and you had lost Stiles and Liam in the chaos of getting into the temple.
Derek was dead, killed by the very woman who was leaning over you. With your father distracted and fighting the berserkers with the Calaveras, Kate had come right for you. She hadn’t just returned to Mexico to help Peter with his plan, but she had also wanted to get to you.
There were many things that Kate regretted, especially not training Allison hard enough. Even though your older sister was gone, Kate still saw promise in you and she had no problem working you into her sick and twisted plans. She could teach you all the things she had never gotten the chance to show Allison, all the things that would have made her that much more of a hunter. With you, she could restore the Argent name.
“I was upset when I heard about your sister,” Kate admitted. “But I knew there was hope for you.”
“Hope?” you repeated. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“Your father probably hasn’t told you the stories of how powerful our family used to be,” Kate said. “I mean, I can see why. It’s embarrasing how far we’ve fallen, but I think I can reverse the damage. Especially with you.”
“What?” you demanded. “I-I am not damaged!”
Kate laughed softly. “Let’s be honest with ourselves, Y/n. You’re an alright fighter, but if I wanted to kill you right now, you’d be dead. Your father thinks he trained you to be strong and wise, but he really just made you weak. I can teach you all the things he was too afraid to show you. I can make you stronger.”
“I’d never side with you,” you practically snarled.
“You sure about that, sweetheart?” Kate asked. “Even if I told you I’d rip your boyfriend’s cute little head off?”
“W-what?” you choked.
“Yeah,” Kate continued. “The one with the nice blue eyes. What’s his name? Liam?”
“You wouldn’t-”
“Sweetie,” Kate cut you off with a laugh. “I think we both know that there’s nothing I wouldn’t do. Especially for family.”
Kate leaned forward until her lips were at your ear. “I swear to god, if you don’t come with me right now, I’m going to have my berserkers tear every single one of your friends’ heads off. But I’m going to save Liam for last, and I’m going to make you watch.”
She pulled away from you slightly, looking down at you with those cold, hazel eyes. You swallowed thickly, trying to fight back the bitter tears that were threatening to fall from your eyes. Out of the corner of your eye, you just barely noticed the silver glinting on the dirty floor a few inches away. Your knife was just out of reach, and if you could just grab it…
“What do you say, sweetheart?” Kate asked you as she leaned back. “I could always use a partner in crime. And if it saves your friends…”
You nodded slowly and leaned forward. “I think…I think my friends can save themselves.”
In seconds, you were darting forward and snatching your knife from the ground. In one swift swipe, you slashed Kate across the face with it, causing her to snarl in pain and fall backward. You brought your elbow crashing into her nose, and you took the time she was dazed to jump up and dart for the stairs.
Unfortunately, Kate didn’t go down easy, and you felt the back of your shirt being snatched so hard that it tore. Kate yanked you back toward her, threading her fingers into your hair and violently tugging you to face her.
“Maybe I was wrong before,” she remarked. “Maybe you should have been my favorite.”
Before you even had time to blink, Kate was shoving you straight into one of the cool walls of the tunnel. Your head cracked against the stone once more, and your vision went white. You fell to the dirty floor, half-conscious as Kate knelt before you.
“Trust me, Y/n,” she murmured as she brushed a strand of bloody hair from your face. “I’m doing what’s best for you.”

“What the hell are we doing?” you asked for the third time, just as you passed the Welcome To Beacon Hills sign on the edge of the road.  
The thing was made of old, buckling wood and the paint was chipped almost beyond recognition, but you would have recognized it anywhere. You had been away from home for six months after Kate had taken you from Tezcatlipoca and you had spent those months fantasizing about finally returning.
Kate had trained you day after day, training that was grueling and painful, and made you feel like you had skipped one too many periods of gym.  She insisted she was making you stronger and she had, but you had also lost something too.
Even after losing your sister, you had tried to have a hopeful outlook on things. You wanted to believe that your friends were capable of anything and that they could save anyone, but apparently you were the exception to that rule. Even your father hadn’t found you, and you had begun to think they hadn’t even started looking.
Thanks to Kate’s constant words about how useless you were to the pack to begin with and that you were better off with her, your vision of life had become pretty twisted.
“You have no patience,” Kate remarked as she kept her eyes on the dark highway. “You spent the first month and half begging me to take you home, and now you’re complaining about it?”
“But you’re not taking me home,” you stated bitterly.
Kate’s lips turned up and she finally looked over at you. “You were a lot more fun to mess with when you were starry-eyed and hopeful.”
“I was not starry-eyed,” you complained.
“Sweetheart,” Kate remarked with a laugh. “I saw the way you looked at Liam. It was the same way Allison looked at Scott. Starry-eyed doesn’t begin to cover it.”
You frowned and looked out the window bitterly, trying to avoid Kate’s knowing eyes. You had known Liam for only a few months, but you had actually thought he loved you. After spending day after day with Kate, waiting for someone to rescue you, you realized he probably hadn’t.
“Oh, come on,” Kate said with a roll of her eyes. “Y/n, you didn’t need him. You really wanted to spend your whole life waiting for someone to save you? You’re so much stronger by yourself. You’re so much stronger with me.”
You continued to look out the window and ignore her, but she seemed intent to convince you that you were better off.
“I can’t believe how ingrateful you are,” she remarked. “You should be thanking me. I made you who you are. I made you powerful.”
“Well it wasn’t free, was it?” you demanded as you turned around to face her.
Kate looked over at you with dark eyes, and in one fluid motion she was pulling the car onto the side of the dark road. When the car stopped, Kate looked over at you calmly, but that was when she scared you the most.
“You know what?” she asked you. “I want to hear you say it.”
“What?” you demanded. “No.”
Kate raised her eyebrows at you. You hadn’t defied her in months and she was beginning to think that there was something in the air in Beacon Hills. Her hand darted forward to grab your wrist in an iron-like hold, and she looked you dead in the eyes.
Even after being with her for six months, Kate still scared you sometimes. Her training was always brutal, but if you didn’t do what she asked or flat-out refused her, she could be brutal too. You couldn’t count the times she had nearly yanked your hair out when you defied her or did something wrong.
You had slowly lost the will to stand up to her over time, and you were a little confused as to why you were doing it now. You figured it might have had something to do with you being back home.
“I’ll admit that I didn’t baby you,” Kate told you. “And yes, there may have been some injuries, a few broken bones, but I did make you who you are. I made you powerful. Now, say it. Thank you, Kate.”
You held her gaze for a few seconds, but then she began to squeeze tighter. You could feel the bone buckling, and the pain caused you to let out a sharp gasp.
“Thank you, Kate,” you finally said through gritted teeth.
With one last painful squeeze she released you, leaving you to pull back your wrist and examine the dark bruises she had left.
“Now,” Kate said. “To answer your question, you’re right. I’m not taking you home. We’ll be leaving in a few days, but I figured that Beacon Hills would be the perfect place for your final test.”
“Final test for what?” you asked her as you looked down at your wrist.
“I’ve trained you to the best of my abilities,” Kate explained. “You know everything that I do. You’re almost a hunter.”
“Almost?” you repeated.
“Almost,” she confirmed. “But there’s one thing you haven’t done yet.”
You stared at Kate questioningly. It seemed that there was always something she wasn’t telling you and even when she let you in on her plans, you couldn’t help but feel like there was always something more. You felt like that now, and you knew that whatever she was about to say wasn’t going to be good.
“You’ve never killed anyone,” she stated simply.
You nearly choked on the breath you were holding. You had done some things you weren’t proud of thanks to Kate, but you never expected her to ask you to kill someone.
“No,” you stated, even though you were a little afraid to tell her no. “I can’t.”
“What if they killed your friends?” she asked.
“What?” you breathed. “What happened to my friends?”
“Oh, nothing too horrible. They’re all alive now. But if you knew what I knew…”
“Tell me,” you demanded.
Kate grinned, flashing you that sick smile that made your stomach churn. “I will, but after I’m finished you might start to rethink that no killing policy.”
Kate unbuckled her seatbelt and reached behind her into the backseat. She pulled a beige, paper folder out of her duffle bag and set it down between the two of you.
“I’ve been keeping tabs on Beacon Hills,” she admitted.
She opened up the folder and pulled out a picture, one of a guy with dark hair and green eyes. You would have thought he was handsome if not for the ice-cold eyes that sent a shiver through you.
“His name is Theo Raeken…”

Liam hopped off Scott’s motorbike, pulling off the spare helmet and handing it to the alpha.
“I don’t like this,” he told Scott as they walked toward the entrance to the tunnels.
“Neither do I,” Scott admitted. “But we don’t have another choice.”
“What if he tries to kill you again?” Liam asked.
Scott sighed. “Then we’ll stop him, but Liam we need him, whether we like it or not.”
“How does he know everything?” Liam grumbled.
“He worked with the Dread Doctors,” Scott reminded him. “They were alive for a long time. They were bound to know things.”
Liam blinked suddenly and he paused at the grate to the tunnels. “Do you think he knows where-”
“I don’t know,” Scott cut him off sadly. “Liam, don’t get your hopes up.”
“But what if he knows where Y/n is?” Liam continued. “Or if not, maybe he knows where Kate is. I mean, she’s pretty powerful, right? So why wouldn’t the Dread Doctors know where she is?”
“They’re dead, Liam,” Scott stated softly. “The Beast practically ripped them apart. I doubt Kate and Y/n were imporant enough to them to tell Theo.”
Liam frowned and he felt tears threatening to fall from his eyes. He had spent weeks plastering missing posters with your face on them to every surface in Beacon Hills. Scott and Derek had questioned Peter about you and Kate relentlessly, but he either knew no more than they did, or they weren’t going to get it out of him.
Liam had begged Scott to stay in Mexico until Argent had finally promised him that he would find you with the Calaveras. When months went by and your father returned without you, Liam had called him at least once a day, trying to get some news, but there was nothing.
Liam knew it was his fault. He hadn’t even noticed you disappear in those tunnels because he had been so focused on Scott, but now you were gone because of him. He had spent the last six months nearly out of his mind with worry, and even when the Dread Doctors came, you never left his thoughts.
“Well, she’s important to me,” Liam muttered bitterly.
“I know,” Scott said as he put a hand on his shoulder. “And once this is all over, I’m going to find her, just like I said I would.”
Liam nodded and Scott reached down to pull up the grate to the tunnels. Before he could even pull the metal all the way up, one loud blast echoed up to the surface. It was so loud that the two didn’t even need heightened hearing to pick up on it.
“What the hell was that?” Liam demanded.
Scott blinked. “A shotgun.”

“W-wait!” Theo gasped as he crawled backwards on the floor. “I-I swear to god, I don’t know who you are!”
He pulled a hand away from the hole in his abdomen, the one you had just made with the shotgun in your hands. The blood came away sticky and bright red, and he just hoped it would heal fast.
“Oh yeah?” you asked. “How about Scott McCall? Or Lydia Martin? Do you know them?”
Theo stared up at you with narrowed eyes. He took in your hair, your eyes and your face, and only then did he recognize you. There was something different about you from the picture he had seen, although he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. The girl on the missing persons flyer had looked happy and bright, but nothing about you was bright as you pointed a shotgun at him.
“Y/n,” he stated as blood dripped from his mouth. “Your name is Y/n.”
You blinked in shock and faultered, just for a second.
“Eyes on the prize, sweetheart,” Kate called out lazily from where she leaned against the tunnel wall. “Remember what he did to Lydia.”
“How do you know me?” you demanded.
“Your picture is all over town,” Theo breathed weakly. “Your missing.”
“You don’t know anything about me,” you spat as you raised the shotgun. “But I know everything about you, Theo. You tried to kill my friends for a pack? That’s a little backwards, don’t you think?”
“Not all of them,” Theo insisted as he looked down at the blood seeping from his skin. Why wasn’t he healing yet?
“So that makes it better?” you questioned with raised eyebrows.
“You won’t kill me with a gun,” Theo snarled as he tried to pull himself up from the floor. “I may be a chimera, but I can still heal.”
“Even from bullets laced with wolfsbane?” you wondered aloud.
Theo’s eyes went wide and he realized he was facing the possibility of imminent death from a girl who had never finished her freshman year of high school. He watched as you raised the gun, trying to think of some way to get you to stop.
Your finger rested on the trigger, and you were about to pull it when Theo blurted out “She’s controlling you!”
“Oh shut up,” Kate said with a roll of her eyes. “Just kill him already, Y/n. I’m getting hungry.”
“She’s controlling you,” Theo repeated. “This is what she wants. I know you’d never kill anyone, Y/n. Liam talked about you all the time. He talked about how sweet you were, about how you would never hurt anyone if you could help it-”
“Shut up!” you snapped and you were surprised that you had said it that forcefully. “You don’t know anything about me.”
“I know about survival,” Theo told you. “I know that sometimes you have to do things you would never do. What did you do for her, Y/n? What did you do to survive?”
It took you a few seconds to realize that the reason the gun was shaking was because of your trembling hands. Whether you liked it or not, Theo’s words resonated with you. They struck a chord in your heart that you forgot existed and for the first time in a long time, you thought about what you were doing.
“He’s trying to save himself!” Kate spat from the corner. “Don’t listen to him!”
Among the chaos of Kate yelling and Theo trying to convince you to put the gun down, there was another sound. You could hear two sets of footsteps echoing down the tunnel walls, and you looked over to see Scott and Liam bursting around a corner.
They both froze, and Scott nearly tripped over his own feet. “Y/n?”
Scott felt his chest begin to tighten, and when he saw you pointing the gun at Theo as Kate stood in the corner, he knew exactly what was happening. You had the same look on your face that Allison had when she had been trying to kill Derek nearly two years ago. It was so broken and angry, and Scott knew that whatever Kate had done to you for the past six months had changed you.
“Y/n?” Liam asked as he looked you over. “What the hell are you doing?”
In the few months he had known you, Liam never thought he would see you with a gun in your hands and especially not with the look you had on your face. You looked ready to kill Theo and while Liam hated him, he didn’t want you to be the one to do it.
“He hurt you,” you stated. “He killed you, Scott. He drove Lydia crazy.”
“But we’re fine now,” Scott assured you.
“It doesn’t change what he did,” you spat.
“And what about what you’re about to do?” Scott asked you. “Yeah, he’s killed people, but if you kill him, what’s the difference between you two?”
You blinked. “Th-that’s not-”
“Isn’t it?” Scott continued gently. “Y/n, if Allison was here, you really think she’d be letting you go through with this?”
“Oh come on,” Kate complained. “Don’t listen to him. He thinks everything is so simple, but you and I know how things really work. Nothing is ever black and white and that’s the difference between us and them. That’s why we survived and that’s why your sister didn’t.”
You froze at Kate’s words, your trembling hands finally calming as you held the gun steady. “What?”
“You know that’s why she died,” Kate told you. “If she had just stayed out of it maybe she would be here.”
“Allison was trying to protect everyone,” you said quietly. “All she ever wanted to do was protect them.”
Kate shrugged, although you couldn’t see it with your back to her. “It was a fault in her code.”
Your breath caught in your throat, but Kate was too annoyed to notice. She just kept talking and talking, leaving you to realize what you had to do.
“Now, shoot him before I have to,” she commanded. “And once I’m finished with him, maybe I’ll add Scott and Liam to the list. Or maybe I’ll just have you do i-”
The crack of another gunshot rang out through the air and echoed across the tunnels. Unlike Kate had expected, you weren’t sending the bullet into Theo, but into her. She let out a roar of pain as she stumbled back, blood beginning to pool at her chest.
You knew she would heal because she had done it before, but for now she couldn’t hurt you. She was too weak to attack you like she wanted to, and you were grateful that she had taught you how to shoot a gun.
“You little bitch,” she spat weakly as she placed a hand on the tunnel wall. “I-I made you strong. I made you w-who you are.”
“You almost made me into a monster,” you said softly and with that you tossed the shotgun onto the floor by Scott’s feet.
Kate took a weak step forward, but Scott and Liam sent her growls that echoed through the hall. She glared at you with a look that told you that she would be back, but you didn’t care anymore. She backed down the tunnel with a sharp glare, crawling away like the rat she was.
You let out a slow, deep puff of air and for the first time in a long time, you felt like you were actually breathing. You turned around to look back at Liam, and for him it was like time stopped. He had done all he could to try and find you in the past six months, and failed, but now you were standing right in front of him.
When you saw Liam’s bright blue eyes, you realized that you had been wrong before. Judging by the look on his face, the one that said that you were the only thing he had thought about for months, he had never abandoned you at all.
You began to walk towards him and he did the same. His arms reached out to you and you practically melted into them as his lips met yours. You had kissed him before, but many of those times had been awkward and new. This time, it seemed like you were both on the exact same page.
You closed your eyes, trying to hide the tears that were falling from them. Liam opened his as he felt a tear drop onto his cheek, and he looked up at you with wide eyes.
“I-I’m sorry,” he apologized. “What that bad?”
You blinked, and this only made you cry harder. “No, I just…I’m just glad to be back.”
You leaned into Liam’s arms again, this time to bring him into a hug. Liam nodded and rubbed your back, looking over at Scott in worry. The alpha gave him a simple shrug and watched Theo disdainfully as he rose from the ground. The chimera eyed you carefully, as if he were afraid you would shoot him again.
You pulled away from Liam and looked over at him.
“I’m not sorry,” you sniffed.
Theo glared at you, but he didn’t really do much of anything else. You guessed he was still trying to heal from the blast to his stomach.
Liam looked over at you and reached up to brush some hair out of your face. It had grown out since he had last saw you and now it was in your eyes, but as he reached out you flinched away. Liam froze in shock, and you swallowed thickly.
“I…I’m sorry,” you whispered, shame washing through you.
Liam looked you over carefully, wondering what exactly Kate had done to you. When he caught sight of the dark bruises on your wrist, he knew that whatever it was was going to take a long time to heal from.
“You don’t have to apologize,” he said softly. “You never have to apologize for that.”
You nodded and you reached out to grab his hand, looking over at Scott. “Do you think I could borrow your phone? I, um, I need to call my dad.”
Scott smiled. “Oh, right! Yeah, you should do that. He’s been looking everywhere for you.”
“Really?” you asked softly.
Scott nodded. “I don’t know what Kate told you, but he never stopped. We never stopped. I mean, things got kind of crazy with the Dread Doctors, but we were going to take a break from school and go looking as soon as we got the chance.”
You nodded and took a deep breath. “She’s going to come back for me. I know she is.”
“Probably,” Scott agreed. “But we’re not letting her touch you.”
You nodded and Liam squeezed your hand. “Don’t worry. I’m never letting go of you again.”
You smiled for the first time in ages as Liam’s warm fingers held yours. You took Scott’s phone as he held it out to you and you realized you had no idea what to say to your father. But then you realized it didn’t matter, because Kate hadn’t gotten what she wanted. No matter how close she had come, she hadn’t been able to turn you into a monster.
It would take a long time to heal from what she had done, and maybe you wouldn’t heal at all. But you had faith that as long as you had your friends and Liam by your side, healing was at least a possibility.