Sometimes Surviving Is Enough: 8 Reminders To Not Be So Hard On Ourselves

“Dear Reader,

I am willing to bet that you are reading this in the middle of a million other tasks that you feel like you need to do in order to feel “normal.” Or maybe you are reading this in an attempt to get yourself out of a rut or improve your state of mind while feeling depressed. Either way, I am here to help! A lot of times, we (meaning you, me, and everyone we know, honestly) feel like if we aren’t doing something, we are failing

.On the contrary; if we aren’t doing something, that might be for a reason, and we need to be in tune with why that is. You see, sometimes it is enough to just be surviving in the world—“just getting by” is totally okay, because it happens to all of us. Everyone hits a point where they just cannot keep doing whatever routine or tasks they have been doing, but we still forget to really take care of ourselves and understand that stopping or slowing down can be good for us.

And if you feel like you have been doing nothing for too long, then that is okay too! Dear reader, below I have eight ways you can remember to not be so hard on yourself when all you feel you can do is survive.”

Read more here.

[Feature Image: A black and white shot of a dark skin individual with a low haircut and baseball cap. They have on a graphic t-shirt and are smiling while looking down to the left with earphones in Source: Pexels ]

every day gifts an opportunity to consider a fresh way of seeing things
the grace to get out of your own way to be something more then yesterday.
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You have a right to come out of trauma uglier and meaner and angrier and less forgiving. And being a “bad survivor” does not impinge upon your validity as a survivor or how deserving you are of care, healing and recovery. Grow claws and fangs, hate the people who hurt you, hold on to your grudges ‘til your grave, never forgive and never forget if that’s what you need. And don’t let anyone judge or shame you for what gives you that scrap of safety, or security, or healing, that the cruelty of others had denied you.


Happy Bi Visibility Day/Celebrate Bisexuality Day! 

To my fellow bis: If you’ve ever been told that you’re just in a phase; that you need to hurry up and pick one; that you’re greedy; that you’re reckless; that you’re confused; that you’re too young to know; that you’re doing it for attention; that you’re selfish; that you’re not real;

Today is for you. Today, I celebrate you. I hope you can find the space to love and celebrate yourself, too. Have a beautiful day. 

In case nobody’s told you today, you’re worthy. You’re valid. I’m glad you exist
dear sapphic lovelies:

Having crushes that aren’t reciprocated is not creepy.

Finding someone sexually attractive when they don’t return the attraction isn’t predatory.

Being creepy or predatory requires you to actually do something that is creepy or predatory – like disrespect her boundaries, behave inappropriately with someone you have power over, or do sexual/romantic things without first having consent. If you’re not doing things like that? you are not creepy or predatory!

Crushes are normal. Unreciprocated crushes are normal. One-way sexual attraction is normal. They are perfectly ordinary experiences, and you feeling that way about another lady is still 100% ordinary - your feelings are not creepy or gross.

If you have a complicated relationship with your mother because of abuse or neglect, you don’t have to feel guilty regardless of how much or how little you choose to interact with her.

I know there’s a lot of pressure to acknowledge her even if she’s hurt you badly. If you choose to (or wish you could) keep your distance or even end your relationship with her, you’re not a bad child or ungrateful or mean.

If for any reason you do something nice for her, that doesn’t mean you give up your right to be angry or hurt by what she did before that. It doesn’t mean you give up your right to keep your distance or even end your relationship with her later on.

You don’t owe her. But it’s complicated sometimes, I understand. Just do your best to be gentle with yourself, and try to remember that you didn’t deserve what happened. You have always deserved care and respect.

You are worth so much more than you realize. I promise.