I’m taking this totally seriously. Here are six sentences:
“We were supposed to meet at the speeder!” “Well, you weren’t there! Things were blowin’ up and I had to go!” “You were just going to leave without me?” “I saw the tower collapse,” he retorted, “with you in it. I was pretty sure that you weren’t comin’.”
You don’t ever have to have sex. No matter how old you are. No matter how long you’ve been in a relationship. Your asexuality is not something you have to compromise on ever, and people who love you, as you are, will accept that. If you’re not comfortable with sex, you don’t have to have it. Ever. Period.
…for what you write. For some people your words will never be enough.
If you write a female Jedi they’ll complain she’s evil. Write a gay Holmes they’ll complain he isn’t black. Write a transgender cop they’ll complain he isn’t the hero.
Here’s the thing about that: You personally can’t write all the wrongs. You can write gay-positive stories, women-motivated tales, or whatever you write that gives voice to people who are often marginalized. What you can’t possibly do is give voice to every one.
And some people will complain about that, and for them nothing you write will ever be enough. So when they tell you your trans cop, your bad ass Jedi, your gay Holmes isn’t good enough—don’t listen. Make the world better in the way you do it. Those people are not living in your skin, you are. They’re not writing, you are. So write what’s inside you, make it beautiful and affirmative, give yourself and others a voice, but please don’t apologize to people who would never, ever apologize to you.