affect your life

take a shot every time a straight person is shocked that homophobia affects your daily life in 2017 because they never have to think about how traumatizing it was as a child to constantly hear that you’re disgusting and that this will stick with you for the rest of your life on top of constantly having to worry about your safety while in public and also constantly having to worry you’re making people uncomfortable by literally just existing… but no Kristen i can get married so #lovewins and homophobias over right

aesthetic themed ask list

flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself?

fairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know?

daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise?

matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?

black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things?

pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail.

moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood?

stars: when did you last cry in front of another person?

plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them.

converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them?

lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you?

handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom?

cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes?

sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally.

oil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far?

overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars?

combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way?

winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self.

pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel?

tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain.

piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not?

bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way.

messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them.

cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel.

grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say?

space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised?

white bed sheets: what is your night time routine?

old books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know?

beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why?

eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do?

11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them.

painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up.

lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high?

thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars?

storms: you on only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why?

love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realise you’re in love.

clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair?

coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone?

marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now?

fin.

Isn’t it weird how fast someone can affect your life? That within a weeks difference you can go from not even knowing they exist to waiting for their text before going to bed, just so you know they’re safe when they can’t be on the phone with you? Idk man, idk. It’s crazy. Idk

How NOT to study

“I’m going to start studying right after I’ve ______”…you won’t.

“Oooh, I’m going to highlight my notes with 49930 different colours to help me retain information” Highlight key words!!

“Everyone else has these amazing, expensive notebooks, pens and Macbooks. Maybe I need them too to be a good student.” Hint: You don’t

“There more I manage to cover during this hour, the more I’ll learn” Remember: Quality NOT quantity

“Revision is so unnecessary. I have a good memory and I know I’m going to remember this on the test I have in 2 months”… sorry to break this to you but you probably won’t remember a lot. Go through everything you’ve covered during the last week on the weekend.

“Oh boy, I’m so tired. I think I’ll just read this chapter in bed.” Hint: You’ll fall asleep

“Okay so I need to study this and this much to get a better grade than _____“ wth nonono. Study for yourself??

“Omg, I didn’t study today. I’m such a failure” You don’t have to study every day. You shouldn’t study every day!! Have at least one day a week when you do nothing school related, your brain needs the rest!
 
“I didn’t get a ____ in the test. I must be dumb idiot and a complete failure who won’t accomplish anything in life” One grade doesn’t affect your life one bit.

“I must study law, medicine or any other STEM subject to be considered a real hardworking student” Hint: Humanities and other subjects are just as hard, okay?

“My teacher is bad and that’s why I won’t ever learn this” Take your computer, open google, google the stuff you don’t get. Was it so hard? Don’t blame your teacher for not understanding something. They’re humans and not perfect. Be ambitious and try to teach yourself with the help of your friends, the internet, youtube, library books etc.

Accept the fact that you will grow apart from people you’ve had significant relationships with. Understand when someone no longer positively affects your life. Let them go. Don’t hinder your growth.
—  Lyjeeria
  • pros of having a crush on one of your best friends: it isn't weird if you tell them you love them, you can cuddle, already know them super well
  • cons of having a crush on one of your best friends: oh jesus basically everything else oh fucking shit

you failed? go on cry it all out, be angry, be disappointed, complain all that you want. but i want you to think about a couple of things: will it affect your life in any way? are you going to remember it in 10 years, 5 years or even in a year? i bet you won’t so don’t think you are a failure, don’t hate on yourself. you will make mistakes, you will fail hard but you will also learn from them, you will grow and you will get better.

A Tarot Spread For When You’re Feeling Lost

A tarot spread for when you’re feeling lost, you’re not sure who you are and how you got to this point in your life. When it’s hard to live with yourself or love yourself, for when you’re feeling stagnant or exhausted. Let this spread help you grow and help you love, you deserve to love yourself because you are each a wondrous and divine body of stardust and magic. It’s time you see that.

The First Card: This expresses how you are feeling. Sometimes we get so caught up in life and in our problems that it’s hard to tell exactly what you’re feeling other than a sense of being lost. Before you can remove blockage from your life you need to know what it is. How am I feeling, are there inner issues I’m not aware of?

The Second Card and Third Card: Now that you have a better understanding of what you’re feeling it’s time to see what brought you here. We don’t always know how we got where we are in our life, it can pass by quickly and suddenly you look up and everything around you is a forest covered in dense fog. How did you get here?

The Fourth Card: You should have a better idea of how you are feeling and what brought you here. It is time to take look at how your feelings and energies are affecting the rest of your life. What are my energies/feeling affecting in my life? 

The Fifth Card: You should have a clear vision of the issue now, and the fog should start to fade to fade away. It is time to rise up, pull out your sword and stand strong. How can I confront this issue, how do I find the courage?

The Sixth Card: You have found a way to come this far in life and you should be so proud of yourself. You have stood up to yourself, your demons, your sorrows, whatever it is that’s hindering you and darkening your life. How do I let go, forgive and move on from this?

The Seventh and Eighth Card: You may not be feeling much better, while you’re ready to face the challenge having to reopen old wounds can be exhausting. Confronting yourself is a challenge, it’s time to take care of yourself and heal. What act of self-care can I do to help me heal, what is my first step on practicing self-care?

You can see some of my readings and spreads here and you can get your own reading by me here. 💖

anonymous asked:

Hi so... I'm a 9th grader and I'm an artist as well. Whenever I'm bored, I draw stuff like scarecrows, monsters and dragons. Then one day, my teacher saw me draw and she asked me that offends me SO MUCH! She said, "You always draw scary stuff everytime. Do you have depression?" Calling me a depressed person just for a creepy art is getting on my nerves. Thar's why I never show my art to everyone. It's not the first time people ask me if I was depressed but.. what shall I do with this situation?

Interest varies with each individual. 
Art is displayed in different forms.

When I was in 5th grade, I use to like creative writing but one day I had a teacher took my paper/story away and stuck it on the board and asked everyone to laugh at me.

I understand..its hurtful and it scarred me. But it should not stop your creativity and talents. It took me long enough to regain the courage to display my art/interest in writing again. You can’t let these “people” affect you that way. They are just briefly there in your life and soon they will get out of it. 

It is YOU, YOURSELF that matters and YOU can do what YOU love :)

[Trans ask game! What has been your gender journey?]

Feel free to reblog, all trans people are included, binary or non-binary! Send a few numbers to someone’s ask box! 

  1. How did you choose your name?
  2. What gives you the most dysphoria? (Acknowledging that not all trans people experience dysphoria)
  3. Do you have more physical dysphoria or more social dysphoria?
  4. What do you do to perform self-care when you’re feeling dysphoric?
  5. What was the first time you suspected you were transgender?
  6. When did you realize you were transgender?
  7. What is your favorite part of being transgender?
  8. How would you explain your gender identity to others?
  9. How did you come out? If you didn’t come out, why do you stay in the closet? Or what happened when you were outed?
  10. What have your experiences with packing or wearing breast forms been?
  11. What are your experiences with binding or tucking?
  12. Do you pass?
  13. What (if any) steps do you want to take to medically transition?
  14. How long have you been out?
  15. What labels have you used before you’ve settled on your current set?
  16. Have you ever experienced transphobia?
  17. What do you do when you have to go to the bathroom in public?
  18. How does your family feel about your trans identity?
  19. Would you ever go stealth, and if you are stealth, why do you choose to be stealth?
  20. What do you wish you could have shared with your younger self about being trans?
  21. Why do you use the pronouns you use?
  22. Do your neurodivergencies affect your gender?
  23. What’s your biggest trans-related fear?
  24. What medical, social, or personal steps have you already taken to start your transition?
  25. What do you wish cis people understood?
  26. What impact has being trans affected your life?
  27. What do you do to validate yourself?
  28. How do you feel about trans representation in media?
  29. Who is your favorite trans celebrity?
  30. Who is the transgender person who has influenced you the most?
  31. How are you involved with the trans community, IRL or online?
  32. How do you see yourself identifying and presenting in 5 years?
  33. What trans issue are you most passionate about?
  34. What advice would you give to other trans people, or what message would you like to share with them?
  35. How do you feel your gender interacts with your race, disability, class, weight, etc. from the perspective of intersectionality?
  36. What, if any, is the difference between your gender identity and your gender expression?
  37. Do you feel more masculine, feminine, or neither?
  38. What is your sexual and romantic orientation, and what are your thoughts on it?
  39. Is your ideal partner also trans, or do you not have a preference?
  40. How did/do you manage waiting to transition?
  41. What is the place (blog, website, forum, IRL space) you get most of your info on being trans or on trans related things?
  42. Do you interact with other trans people IRL?
  43. Are you involved in any trans-related activism?
  44. Free space! Answer any question you want, or make up your own question to answer.
We all have a soulmate. But it doesn’t mean, we will always end up with them. Sometimes, we meet a lot of them in our lifetime. Some will come as a blessing and others, come to teach you lesson and experience you must feel. This kind of people carries a significant turn of event that could either change you entirely or bring you to your darkest night. They could help you to become better and surpass your storm or make the situation even harder. A turning point where your every decision and action would matter because their influence would affect your life in the long run. So be careful about who you let into your life, not all soulmates you meet along the way deserve to be with you throughout your journey.
—  E.J. Cenita
RP POSITIVITY MEME!

Because there’s just way too much salt out there sometimes.

♥ What’s the absolute best experience you’ve had in RP?
♦ What’s your favorite thing about RP, generally?
♚ Have you ever made any lasting friends through RP?
⚜ Have you ever met anyone from RP in real life?
✮ Do you think you’ve improved as a writer through roleplaying?
☄ Has roleplay positively affected your life in some ways?
☯ Tell us all about your favorite muse you’ve ever written and why they meant so much to you.
☼ Have you learned any new skills from being involved in RP (coding, editing, making GIFs, etc)?
☀ Have you ever joined a new fandom that you only discovered through RP?
♨ What unlikely, ‘only possible in RP’ ships have you enjoyed writing with your muses?
❀ What is your favorite thing about your current fandom or RP community?
✉ Say something nice about someone you follow!

Ten Things Trans Men Want You To Know

By Jason Robert Ballard

Over my life as a transgender man I have had moments I wish I could have said something to someone close to me but failed to. Until going back in time is an option, lets move forward with better understanding on things we wish we could tell our close friends and potential partners. If you’ve received this article from a friend, are they trying to tell you you’re guilty of one of these points? Potentially, or they just think it was a good read and you might enjoy it.

1. You’re guilty by association
You will receive more questions about me than I will. People who are confused or curious will typically ask a person they believe can relate to them or think share similar experiences. Talk to me about what I’m comfortable with you sharing when you field these questions. If I prefer not to be outed, you could respond with a simple, yet firm “It’s not my place to answer these questions for you, I’m sorry.” If I’m open about my transition, find out how to appropriately answer or divert harsh questions. This will make you a better ally and allow conversations to flow toward critical discussions instead of focusing on sexualizing the experience. As the topic of transgender lives emerges in mainstream media, questions often fall into one of two categories “genuine curiosity” or “superficial curiosity”. The question, “What are some reasons a transman might not have bottom surgery” is different from the question “Do you have a penis?“ Knowing whether the questioner is coming from a place of good will or being malicious may help you decide how to handle these moments.

2. “But you’ll always be _____ to me” hurts
Transition in life is inevitable. While seeing your little cousin for the first time in years and enjoying the fact that they were once in diapers, one may say “Aw, but you’ll always be little tommy to me!” and be perfectly acceptable. However, in my case I may have struggled with who I was and how I felt about myself before coming out as the authentic me. This is a time in my life of positive growth and happiness and if I’ve chosen to share it with you, telling me that you’d rather remain seeing me as someone I have taken great risks to leave behind is hurtful and damaging to our friendship. Telling me I’ll always be my birth name or birth sex in your eyes can be like telling someone who struggled with depression that you’ll always see them as ‘that pathetic emo kid’ or someone who fought with self image and weight lose that they’ll always be ‘fat’ to you. See what I’m saying? Yes, we may have a long history of knowing each other before I came out and that might be hard for you to let go of or see differently. Let me know you’re trying by not using this statement.

3. Outing me can be extremely dangerous.
As positive as some of the media and support for trans people are, there is still an overwhelming amount of hatred and ignorance. Hundreds of transgender people are murdered every single year and most of these times the killer walks due to failed/no protection laws in place for me. You may think that having a trans friend and talking about it in a public setting is fine, but if the wrong person over hears you or tells their friend who tells their friend, I could be in serious danger. It being a novelty to have a trans friend isn’t worth my life. If you want to talk about it, just don’t use my name and say you’ve ‘got a friend’.

4. My dysphoria isn’t your fault
It can be tough to be emotionally involved with someone who has a hard time with self image. You yourself may feel like you’re solely responsible for their happiness but sometimes their sadness comes from a place you simply can’t touch. It is not your fault that I have places and things about my body that I don’t like paid attention to. Talk to me and find out what is okay with me and what you can do to ease any triggering of my dysphoria, but don’t take the dysphoria personally. Some relationships, trans or cis don’t end up being ‘text book’. If I’m uncomfortable with my breasts and talk about wanting surgeries in the future, being sad about that and saying things like “But I love your boobs!” or “No don’t, I love you just the way you are” isn’t supportive. In fact, it’s proof that you’ve created an image of me in your head that doesn’t match up with who I really am and that’s not a positive basis for a relationship.

5. “It isn’t the T”
Beginning hormone replacement therapy can be a HUGE moment in my life. However, following that achievement I may lash out at you or be a jerk. If I say things like “It’s the testosterone”, you have my permission to not believe it. I am well aware of the emotional changes that I’ve decided to undertake and there are countless support systems and advice articles for dealing with extra tension and shorter tempers all over Google. My mood swings and hormonal imbalance are mine to control, not yours to tolerate. I have no right to be rude to you or push you away and blame a substance.

6. How do those egg shells feel?
Don’t get so hung up on words that the conversations never happen. You know me, if we’ve been close for any period of time you know what and how to phrase questions and statements to not be offensive. Though I may not want to be an educator all day every day to strangers at the grocery store, you’re my friend and it shows me you care when you’re excited about my transition with me. Many transgender people don’t have or lose their entire support systems when they come out so I’m lucky to have you. If you’ve been around the web a time or two you’ll notice our community gets hung up on terms and words. Don’t let this frighten you into bailing on me.

7. Don’t date me despite me
If you’re interested in dating me, make sure you’re interested because of who I am, not despite my trans status. You’re not doing me a favor by being interested in me ‘even though’ I’m trans, you’re making it seem like to you it’s something that makes me hard to handle or below you and THANK GOODNESS you’re here now to be interested in me because who else would? Rude.

8. What you say behind my back is what you really think of me
When I first come out, some people might say things like “It’s about time” or “I always knew”, some may say they had no clue and some people might not believe me due to the rise of something called “trans-trending”. Whether you think I’m doing this for attention or because my friend is doing it too isn’t for you to decide. The locals don’t get to get together and vote to approve my trans status. There is no way for you to tell what has been going on in my mind for years and what I’ve struggled with personally. There are many ways to transition and no one way is perfect or the way it has to be done. Talk to me about it, find out my story if you feel so inclined. If not, just leave it alone because it doesn’t affect your life at all.

9. My pronouns mean a lot to me
Chances are I’ve chosen a new name and have preferred gender pronouns, you using them is a big deal to me and when you do it shows me that you support me in bettering my life for myself. Which should be qualities of all friends! At the beginning, you may slip or mess up but I promise I’ll be able to tell if someone is genuinely trying or if someone is making a point to use the wrong ones.


10. Thank you
If you’ve taken the time to read or share this article with someone close to you, you’ve sought out advice on being a better Trans Ally and that to me is admirable. Wanting to educate yourself to make me and any other transgender person in your life more comfortable in this time of great community and media change is worth a big thank you. There is a lot of anger and hatred in the world and in our small community and sometimes Allys can be pushed to their limits or be afraid to use the wrong words or do the wrong thing. Every single person behind us and in support of us is valuable. Thank you for your patience, your friendship and your love.

I always see so many social-justice type things that are like, reassuring people in the oppressor group that no, we’re not trying to take anything away from you! Your life will be pretty much the same but better if we achieve our goals!

Which, in a sense I guess that’s true, because a fairer world is better for us all – but honestly, yes, we are trying to take things away from you, and achieving our goals will mean your life is different. Because people in oppressor groups have not been pulling your/our own weight this entire time.

Men, abled people, cis people, white people, straight people, rich people, non-intersex people, etc., all benefit from oppression. As in, there are things we/you have that we/you literally only recieve as a direct result of oppression, and in a world without that oppression, we/you will not receive those benefits!

Privileged people will have to give up being centred more, trusted more and deemed more competent than anyone else; having emotional work performed for us/you quietly and without recipricocity; having our/your interests prioritized over everyone else’s; being treated as the default from which everyone else is a variation; and a million more unfair advantages.

Ending oppression will require people in oppressor groups to actively give up all kinds of benefits that stem directly from oppression. There will often be things that oppressors didn’t even notice was a benefit of oppression that will now have to be relinquished. It’s difficult work, and it absolutely will affect your life. But it’s necessary and important work.

If you’re only interested in ending oppression with the caveat that it not affect your life whatsoever and you’ll never be inconvenienced by people gaining back rights they should always have had – you’re not interested in ending oppression, and you should make an effort to cultivate that interest.

10

“You could have come in a bit sooner, though!
                                                                                        “Well, I was enjoying it too much.”