I received an anonymous request for a picture in which I’m smiling.  Some weird tooth fetishist no doubt, but whatever. 

I have teeth.  See?  Teeth. 

I smile often, but if I don’t happen to be smiling when a picture is taken then I’m not going to pretend. What’s the point of recording a moment in time if you’re going to fake the moment? 

I don’t fake orgasm and I don’t fake smile.  Live with it.

GPOY - A Whirlygig’s Got My Nose! edition.

People who ask me when I’m going to grow up are also the ones who give me dirty looks when I’m on the swings at the park, like I’m doing something horribly wrong by using the swing set past a certain age.  I’m never going to think or feel that way, so if they’re waiting for me to act like them before considering me a grown-up they’ll be waiting forever.  I’m turning 47 later this month. This is as grown-up as I’m gonna get.