advice-mode

anonymous asked:

What was so wonderful to me in that episode is how Jon's advice to Dany isn't specific war tactics, but it's the same sort of advice that Maester Aemon regularly gave to Jon. He doesn't tell her what to do, but he tries to speak to her heart so that she can make the decision for herself. Jon is speaking to Dany through Maester Aemon.

Originally posted by yourreactiongifs

THERE IS ONLY A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF FEELS THAT I CAN TAKE.

Jonerys is too good my cup runneth over.

I freaking love this parallel. I think Maester Aemon is such a sweet and gentle soul and that he is an important mentor in Jon’s journey. I watched the scene of him discussing Dany with Sam last night to reference it for my fanfic and I was about to cry with how sad he sounded for Dany. He hates how alone she is.

But like… she isn’t now. She has Jon. She isn’t a Targaryen alone in the world. Neither one of them is.

And that’s so special to me.

Also of course everything in your ask is correct in typical Jon perfection mode his advice was gentle and earnest and she accepted it because like Maester Aemon Jon is a wise perfect cinnamon roll. Unlike Maester Aemon Jon is also super hot so. We blessed.

anonymous asked:

I saw a post in the Supercat tag saying they didn't ship them because they see a maternal relationship and I don't see it? I mean, was there a scene where you thought Cat ever acted maternal towards Kara? Definitely mentor relationship but maternal? Maybe my shipper glasses are blinding me

It’s such a tired tactic that every femslash ship with an age gap goes through. You’ll notice it never happens with het age gap ships. No one ever says ‘he’s like a father to her’. Just… doesn’t happen.

But you know why it’s especially bullshit? We’ve actively seen Cat’s maternal side, both with Carter and Adam. Even in their absence her behaviour as a mother is clearly outlined.

And it is nothing like how she treats Kara. There’s a smidge of it maybe in how Cat and James interact when she tells him about the violent actor she didn’t report on, but even when Cat is in advice mode with Kara it comes across as two peers, or would-be peers having a conversation.

That’s coloured by the fact that we know Cat is also advising Supergirl, even when she allegedly doesn’t. The only ONE concession I’d make is when she says she would ‘legally adopt’ Supergirl if she could but that’s about branding and owning the story, not any maternal feelings on Cat’s part.

So yeah: homophobes trying to pretend they’re not like that. It’s about the only excuse. I have no issue with people who see Cat and Kara as platonic or just a mentorship, but the make it so they can’t vibe of the maternal thing is a tale as old as fucking annoying time, alas. 

10

“BUHURT-OWL MODE ACTIVATED”

“you creep me out”

Activators and fuel:
“Don’t be lazy. Where are the updates?”
“C'mon, draw it for free, what’s the problem?”
“Rudeness & disrespect”
“Go draw it right away”
“Uncalled-for advice”

derpydingus  asked:

Hi! I was wondering if you could give me any tips on developing a stronger Ti. I'm pretty sure I'm an INTP. I have trouble saying no to things I don't want to do with friends (having Fe as a last function I guess). I don't know if that makes sense. Is that something you might struggle with?

(Second part of the ask) Hello again. It kinda just came to me now that I thought of it more. I feel like my opinion has no weight with my peers. (Maybe because I’m never serious and joke around with them too much?) Maybe developing a stronger Ti would help? How do I do that?

Developing your inferior Fe

If you’re INTP, it’s quite unusual to want to develop a stronger Ti, since that would already be your strength and what you’re most comfortable using since you were a child. Now, I’m thinking of developing Ti as improving your analytical skills, logic, finding insights faster and able to reason things faster with more accuracy. This can certainly be done, but I don’t think it’s what you’re asking.

I think what you’re looking for is to develop Fe. Undeveloped inferior Fe wants to maintain harmony and fails to recognize the user’s real needs, resulting in over-accommodating behaviors to keep peace, burying problems and emotions, building up quiet resentment which later comes out as the infamous Fe explosion I described here (“in the grip” experience).

I know this because I’ve been there too. I had trouble saying no, couldn’t hang up the phone first even if someone was boring my brain out for hours, I would talk in an uncertain manner not to offend anyone (even when I didn’t even think highly of that person), couldn’t tell friends to leave my dorm even if I had tons of work to do and resented them for not knowing what I wanted, had a falling out with (my now best friend) the INTJ for a year because back then I’d rather cut someone off than to assert myself and work through problems. It was especially hard for me because my peers were at least 3 years older since I was 13.

Now, how did I improve my Fe? I made a decision. I first had to recognize that I put myself in “victim mode”. I made a choice to stop blaming my friends and family for pushing me to do things I didn’t want to do. It was me who let them have that influence on me. It was me who didn’t stand up for myself and take responsibilities for what I want in life. Mind you, this took years for me to accomplish - but I wasn’t really into MBTI back then and didn’t have the resources you would now :)

At one point, you just have to say: Fuck it! Fuck it all! (that’s what I said to myself, at least…I even wrote a song about it). What’s the point of maintaining harmony to make people like you if that means you’re not asserting your own needs and will explode at them later?

I chose to not maintain complete harmony so that I wouldn’t have any pent up negative emotion. These days, I just say what I really think. I’m slightly sarcastic and extremely straightforward. I told my coworkers I wanted to eat alone on certain days, even if it was my company culture to have lunch together and they would give me crap for it. I told my parents I didn’t want to work in the hospital anymore and will build my career in arts, even if they’d never consider that a real job (they still don’t…them SJs). I told my ESFJ childhood friend I wasn’t interested in listening to relationship problems of people I don’t even know.

And you know what? I’m a lot happier. Asserting yourself will only cause smaller conflicts at the beginning, but it means you won’t be sulking like a victim later on.

Will this cause some people to dislike you? Sure. But this also means you will learn who your friends really are - who is sticking with you because you are who you are, not because you’re agreeing with everything they say.

-eilamona
[ MBTI Merch | Support eilamona on patreon ]

GOT7 reaction to your boyfriend/their best friend abusing you.

Anonymous said to reactionsthatigot-7:

Where they’re brother hear that your boyfriend/they’re best friend is abusing you.

interesting request anon, i did this with the assumption your just as close to them as your bf is to them.
 hope you like what iv done here, it was a little hard, as i think it would be somewhat similar to the previous reaction.
Keep requests coming in


~~~~~JB~~~~~

unleash the badass jb that will always protect the ones around him first. But in this instance he wouldn’t go straight to a fight, he’d go into leader mode. weighing out the pros/cons for the situation.


~~~~~Mark~~~~~

mark was born to listen to you as you go on about your troubles, he would listen till you was done, and then try impart some wise advice. he was always there for you. 


~~~~~Jackson~~~~~

instantly his angry that you’ve gone through such an ordeal, he’s raging more and more.

but then he realises what the situation actually means, it was his best friend after all and he was stuck between the two, he knew what he had to do, but it wasn’t easy for him.


~~~~~Jinyoung~~~~~

he’s there to listen to you for however long it takes, and once your done, only then will he give his advice. he doesn’t get mad, nor rage like some, he wants to help you, but you have to help yourself first.


~~~~~Youngjae~~~~~

he practically freezes from the news, he has so many ways to give you advice, he tries to help everyone in the intuition but it slowly sinks in that it may not be happy ending for everyone.


~~~~~BamBam~~~~~

he instantly goes into advice giving mode, he will keep chafing it as you tell him more and more thats happened, ending with his classic conclusion. but he really does try, he wants you to be as safe as possible.


~~~~~Yugyeom~~~~~

he sits there staring at you, only partly listening, picking up on the more extreme words, he's slowly stewing in his anger, but he tries not to show it. he’d either, give you strong advice, against the bf, or if it gets worse enough he might even want to see him and ‘talk’ to him.


Gifs are not my own

Finding Self-Worth, Fighting Insecurity, and Finally Anchoring In Jesus

queendeewrites asked:

Hi Pastor Park, what do I do about self-worth? What if I already know that I should be anchored in Christ and in God’s love, that I need not earn my worth through anything, or that it cannot be earned through works, but that it is because God first loved me. What if I know about all of these, but I still don’t have a sense of self-worth? I feel this insecurity very exhausting, it is destroying my life and my relationship. What would you say? What would Jesus say?

 

Hey my friend, I first want to thank you for your wonderful honesty, and before I go into any kind of super-advice-preaching-mode, to simply say: you are loved very much, by Him and by all of us in this family, and I really hope you believe this is enough just for today, for one more step.

You need to know that we’re in the same boat here, and many others will tell you that you’re not alone, no matter how much “Bible-doctrine-theology” we’ve rehearsed to ourselves.

The thing about finding security is that we beat ourselves up over not having security, which is sort of a double-guilt that keeps feeding our insecurity. There’s the first layer of, “I’m already insecure,” and then the second layer of, “I’m getting more insecure that I’m not more secure.” This is a really horrible cycle that keeps spiraling in on itself with no apparent way out.

Please know that as long as we’re on this side of life, we will always feel a gap between who-we-are and who we want-to-be. There’s no avoiding this icky, uncomfortable, unsettling gap between the spiritual itch inside and the ideal that we strive for.  Our time on earth is not home; our hearts long for a completion, a wholeness, a total healing; and while Jesus has certainly secured the Christian’s future forever, we’re still on our way towards that eternity. We’re not home yet. We’re restless in the skin we’re in.

So please don’t feel bad about feeling bad today.  This feeling of “Not-Quite-Yet” is naturally inherent to a sin-torn world, and it sometimes shocks Christians who go to church five times a week and know all the latest Tomlin songs and memorize Lamentations in Hebrew that they still feel like something is missing. 

I mean you can cover it up with a laser-light rock-show on Sundays and some really fluffy pep-talk preaching (nothing wrong with that), but at three in the morning in your bedroom under the ceiling fan, you still feel the existential pull of your heart for another world.  Whether you’re the religious do-gooder or the rebellious party-guy (I was both), we all run into this invisible dead-end.

 

Here’s where we find rest. Every other religion and philosophy and system of thinking will tell you to Close The Gap for yourself.  The Twelve Steps, the Eight-Fold Path to Nirvana, the Five Ways For A Perfect Marriage, the Zen method of inner-peace. Secular culture has American Idol, Forbes Top 40, Viagra, and the Olympics. Even people who say “I don’t subscribe to an ideology” have just subscribed to one: the superiority over those who have an ideology.

We’re all in this secret competition to beat ourselves into a righteous, validated, upstanding person. Maybe some of these things are good and helpful. But in the end, as you’ve experienced, they lead to moral exhaustion and constant disappointment. When the show is over, we go home to post-achievement emptiness. Trophies don’t last forever.

I believe that Christianity is the only truth in which we’re told that divinity ran backwards through the gap to us, so that we would no longer have to run for our lives.  Life came running to you. Jesus crossed this infinite distance between who we really are – the depth of that twisted insecure ugliness – by becoming for us who we want to be.  And while we’re still here on this earth, he invites us into a journey of eternity where he is in the lead, where he says, “I’ve taken on all the ways you fall short, so that you may now rest at the feet of true greatness and experience the fully lived life."  Jesus doesn’t demand a single change of behavior. He simply gives us himself. This is grace.

If you think insecurity is uncomfortable, then grace is even more disturbing, because we don’t have to do anything to earn it.  This is why so many Christians start beating themselves up, saying "I should be better than this! If I really knew what he did, then I should love Him more, I should be more secure, I should-should-should!” Do you see? This is the way we’ve been trained to think of everything else, to earn it somehow, to “should” ourselves into a frenzy.  Yet, as C.S. Lewis says, repentance is finally laying down your weapons. 

You’re no longer in competition with others or yourself. You’re free from the exhaustion of hyped up self-motivation. There is only one righteousness we can cling to, not of our own, but beyond this world. Colossians 3:3 says that the Christian’s life is now hidden in Christ. Nothing else is my life, including the loop of condemnation I play in my head. There’s a love that pierces my every model of success so that I know that no matter how much I fail or gain, I’m no better or no less than my adopted status in Him. It means I can quit trying to be a good person, but I live in the grace of the Only One who is good. We can embrace what Jesus has done, in both the humility that He is the King, but the confidence that He is our King.

This will not be easy. It’s not a perfect process.  I always default to people-pleasing and trying to get approval from the room I’m in. When I make a mistake or bomb a sermon or hear criticism, I tend to collapse inward very quickly.  But I have to keep remembering Psalm 42:5. 

Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.

 

I have to get over thinking that God is not for me. I have to quit trying to “anchor myself” and remember that He is the anchor. Hebrews 6:19 says so. I need to leave behind the lie that I’m not-good-enough or too-good for this sort of grace.  I need to quit thinking that God’s love is “cheesy” or “corny” or that my sins exempt me from Him.  I have to stop believing that a moment of instability means I’m unstable, because a bad day doesn’t mean a bad life. And even a bad life doesn’t need qualifications to receive His life.

I have to remember God has grace for when I beat myself up, too.  When I’m done being shaken by the world’s standards, Jesus still receives me in my weary, wandering condition.  Jesus is counter-conditional.  And with him in the lead, I can face the next day.  For a love like that, I can face everything; not perfectly, but passionately; not unscratched, but not undone.

You’re allowed to seek encouragement, too. Go to places where God wants to work through you and speak to you. Find mature friends, have long talks, go out and treat yourself, ask your pastor for prayer, close your laptop and enjoy the outdoors, don’t let social media shape your value, find a place to laugh with good people, to make memories, to serve others who need your gifts, to be available for God’s call. 

Can you say this today?

I am loved. He actually always loves me, right now. I am loved.

And then walk in it, no matter how you feel, and even if you only have a tiny shred of faith.  I believe Jesus when he said that faith the size of a mustard seed can move mountains.  That means it can move me, and it can move you too: not because of me or you, but Him.

– J.S.

Why does Zero have this fanon rep as the good sex advice guy…be real here, to everyone not named Leon Zero would give exactly two types of advice:

1) complete troll mode purposely terrible advice like “yeah you’ll be fine if you put peanut butter there” (c’mon, just look at his Elise support!)

2) straightforward advice, but based in his awful life experiences–well, it’s not like spit as lube killed him, so it should all work out for you.

“AWKWARD LOVE”

Tanong ko lang posible kaya na alam nya na yung feelings ko sa kanya? Ano ba gagawin ko? Di ko naman kaya magtapat at ayaw ko gawin. Gusto ko ako parin nililigawan.


Miss L., alam mo., obviously ikaw rin ang tipo ka rin ni GUY., oo nga at nagpapaka hard siya., syempre padeny-deny rin yan sa takot lang niya na mareject eh ayaw naman niya na directly na ipagkalandakan na gusto ka rin niya., sabi mo nga nagiging close kayo.,for what reason? friends lang? eh more than friends na nga yan eh., the thing is ayaw lang ni boy na mapapangunahan siya to a point na mabubuking siya sa feelings niya sayo., napaka vivid ng mga pangitain kaibigan., single siya., nagaantayan kayo., wag kayong mag nga-ngahan., alam ko yang gusto mo mangyare., babae ka oo dapat ikaw ang nililigawan., ang sarap ng feeling magpaligaw eh diba? HAHA  anyway dapat to make things clear., may ULTIMATE TECHNIQUE para jan., ang Bunkingis if Inlovis., by some steps, para ma determine mo kung talagang gusto ka rin niya.,

 Bunkingis if Inlovis 

  1. The Pangitains - obserbahan kung ano ung kilos niya towards you, kung pano ka niya itrato. ung mga simpleng pagtawag sayo ung tipong may landi sa pag bigkas ng pangalan mo, ung mga pagkakataon na makikita mong numanakaw siya ng tingin sayo,(SULYAPIPOY), ung  may bahid ng kung ano ung hipo niya o tapik,. ung pag may something good eh ikaw ang isa sa mga una na nakakaalam, madali naman magpakita ang mga yan madaling malaman.,
  2. Ayaw kunosis - ung tipong pakipot pero dalawa o tatlong pilit mo lang mapapapayag mo na., Its hard to resist naman kasi ang isang babae kung natitipuhan siya ng lalake eh,. second thought eto ung denial na “no hindi siya ang gusto ko”, “hindi naman ako type eh”. ung tipong prang naghihinayang siya sa punto ng pananalita niya dahil parang sa pagkabigkas niya eh may halong paghihinayang.
  3. Effortis Bonggacious - may mga pagkakataon na magbibigay siya ng something pero hindi mo naman hinihingi., dinadaan sa gifts ang pagpapapansin, ung tipong tinatanong ka kung anong gusto mo kung anong mas preffered mo., ang  dapat mong gawin jan., Maging firm ka sa pag sagot wag dapat umurong ang dila mo para alam niya talaga ang gusto mo.,
  4. Distansya Amigo - May mga oras mapapansin mo nalang na lumalayo siya sayo nagkakaroon ng awkward moment, ung tipong hindi kayo nag kikibuan, nag aatayan lang kayo kung sinong mauunang mag salita., nagpapanisan kayo ng laway teh,. nagkakaroon kasi ng mabilis na tibok ng puso to a point na natatameme siya. nabablanko utak niya.,
  5. Nakiki-Ayyiee - Eto ung tipong “aray sakit sa bangs"  na sitwasyon., nakikijoin sa panunukso sa paglilink pero deep inside his puso eh.,”putanginang classmates yan ako ilink niyo ako ako" ang peg niyan., pinaka defense mechanism ng lalaki/babae na nakiki join nalang kesa naman mabuko siya na may gusto siya dun sa tao na nililink nila sa iba., ayaw niyan mapansin na bitter siya., kaya nakikijoin lang siya.,  kahit na wasak ang puso.,

* Technically pasok na siya sa :

The Pangitains - Nagkaroon na kayo ng quality time naranasan niyo nang maging lapit sa isat isa naging close kayo., nagkaroon ng special treatment so check check check!

Ayaw kunosis - pasok ulit siya rito kasi nga denial siya na ayaw ka niya dahil hindi naman siya ang type mo (on his perspective)., medyo pastyle siya  sa sinabi niya na “Bakas kasi ang taas ng standard mo. Ano ba mga type mo, baka matulungan kita maghanap.“ i told a while ako na maging firm ka sapag sagot dito dahil sa simpleng sinabi niya na yan eh nag eextract siya ng insights about you and your interest para magkaroon siya ng idea kung ano ang gagawin niya para magustuhan mo siya, kung anong estilo ng pagpapapansin at panliligaw ang gagawin niya an akma, tugma, swak at pasok sa kung anong requirements mo sa isang lalake., Ayaw Kuno., denial thingy na tila pinapasa niya sa iba kunwari tutulungan ka para maisabi mo lang sa kanya ung needed info para sa kanya., ung tipong Bantay Salakayis kunwari innocent pero ikaw pala ung puntirya ng loko., 

Effortis Bonggacious -  Hindi man sa material things., ang naibibigay niya., iconsider na nating effort nang masasabi ung pagtatanong niya sayo related to the Ayaw kunosis insights.. nagtatanong siya ng kung anong standards mo., un ang isa sa first step para maka DaMoves siya sayo., at effort un., kaya ikaw wag kang magpakipot kung nag tanong siya sakyan mo sabihin mo ung gusto mo sa isang lalaki., but make sure na ung personalities na nagustuhan mo sa kanya ay ang sabihin mong una., then sabihin mo na rin ung mga ayaw mo sa kanya., pero indirect mong sabihin., ung tipong kunwari nga eh hahanapan ka niya ng lalaki na ganun.,  by that way pag nasabi mo ung ayaw mo at matatamaan siya marerealize niya na un pala ung dapat na baguhin niya par sayo ung mga bad things na dapat eh maalis niya para pumasok siya sa requirements mo

Distansya Amigo -  No explanation needed., nagkaroon kato ng awkward moment., nagkaiwasan kayo maybe ikaw ung unang nagpasimula ng Distansya dahil torpe ka rin eh., pero normal, reasonable at may excuse ka kasi ikaw ang babae., hindi ka dapat nag hahabol at nagpapakita ng pagkadesperada over boy.,(in some cases dapat gawin rin ng babae ang maghabol pero pasimple tago at sikreto dapat para hindi ma misinterpret ng tao ung girl-effort na un)

Nakiki-Ayyiee -   Nakiki Join siya sa paglilink sayo at sa ibang guy., nako pansinin mo., siya., sakyan mo ung paglilink nila at makikita mo., mababadtrip si Crush niyan., tama lang ya ginawa mo wag mo pansinin ung nililink sayo., kasi pag once na nakita niya na pinatulan mo., maglalaslas na yang guy na yan,. joke., haha., iiwas yan., makaka feel yan ng REJECTION at ung feeling na naLINKZONED siya magpapakalayolayo yan ., related na to Distansya Amigo., didistanya siya kasi nasaktan siya., kasi mahal ka niya., 

Techincally pasok na siya ate., ang gawin mo ikaw na ang mag DAMoves pero silencio at ninja moves ah

  1. Makiusap ka sa common friend(na mapagkakatiwalaan) niyo na ichismis ka kunwari na nalaman niya na may gusto ka kay crush. hayaan na makarating kay crush ang chismis at bongga!.,magpakipot ka konti sabay bonggang pagpapaganda.,
  2. Gumawa ka ng open letter regarding sa feelings mo sa crush mo ipost mo sa social networking sites., facebook and/or tumblr., then make it viral sa mga friends niyo., hayaan mong mabasa ni crush., dapat marealize niya na gusto mo siya., dapat mabasa niya din na mahal mo siya talaga at siya ung inaantay mo., indirect letter un ah., wala kang babanggitin na tao., pero gumawa ka ng code name like initials ng name niya., pasimpleng obvious ba.,  basta nilalahad dun lahat ng emosyon mo., unahin mo na ung kwento mo kung pano mo siya naging crush., ikwento mo ung nangyare sayo ung pagbibigay mo ng Pen sa kanya sa a gift., lahat ikwento mo., lahat ng happenings na something memorable sayo, ilabas mo saloobin mo., then sa last part., mag lagay ka ng pagpapahiwatig na open aat welcome siya sayo ., nagaantay ka sa kanya ., ipaalam mo na super welcome siya., at isang Allcaps na kataga ”AYOKO NG TORPE, PLEASE“.

 

So Miss L ., sorry kung natagalan ako., level up ako sa pag advice., so sana worthy ang pag aantay mo ng response ko., i think 2 hours kong ginawa tong post na to sana intindihin mong maige., if you have follow up queries., just feel free to discuss things with me 

anonymous asked:

Mum plays WoW and I help press buttons on keyboard. Dunno why she tell me stop, am real cat mode, am giving advice on game cat mode. Maybe mum just not understand constructive caticism. Is ok, she still good at human play.

:3

Bobo pero daming alam!
  • Anon1 (nalimutan ko kung sino kaya anon nalng ) : bobongpagibig pero daming alam?
  • Anon 2 : wag kang umastang matalino kasi bobo ka bobo bobongpagibig
  • Anon 3 : bobo ka ba talaga? Bobo ba yan? Ang lawak ng thoughts mo you call that bobo?
  • Anon 4 : kuya ang bobo pag ikaw ang kasama, tumatalino
  • Anon 5 : kuya favorite na kita forevs
  • Anon 6 : ang galing mo detailed advice nice blog
  • Anon 7 : sampal na sampal sakin ang mga sinabi mo natatauhan na ako pota
  • Anon 8 : kuya paadvice po , pero wag dto sa TC nalang nakakahiya alam kong magagalit ka sa mga sasabihin ko at issues ko
3 Advices on queue., kasalukuyan kong sinasagot. Si number 1., quite slow ako ngayon kasi naka mobile lang., but ill try to be detailed on my words and insights about the advice., so., AFD (away from dash) muna., nasa inbox ako eh
— 

1. Miss Yam

2. Babaeng Ngiti 

3, Angel (not to be published)

PS: ciao., nakakamiss kayo., usap usap later.,