adventure thief

“Are you introducing children to the occult?” said Madam Frout suspiciously. This sort of thing caused a lot of trouble with parents, she was well aware.
“Oh yes.”
What? Why?”
“So that it doesn’t come as a shock,” said Miss Susan calmly.
“But Mrs. Robertson told me that her Emma was going around the house looking for monsters in the cupboards! And up until now she’s always been afraid of them!”
“Did she have a stick?” said Susan.
“She’d got her father’s sword!”
“Good for her.”

– on Miss Susan’s teaching methods | Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time

Taako: We can’t take this gold. This is a bank.

Magnus: Nope, totally can.

Taako: No, listen. It’s a bank! We’re not looting! We’re literally supposed to be stopping a bank robbery. Just cause you found money in a bank doesn’t mean that you can just take it with you!

Travis: I put the money in my bag for safe-keeping.

Taako: Great, I grab some chairs. Like, why are we looting? This isn’t a dungeon, people do business here! Put that back!

Magnus: Listen, the government is gonna pay this back.

Taako: Nobody’s gonna do anything, you’re gonna get arrested! You’ll go to jail. The literal chief of police is right outside! 

girlgroups: fairytale concept!! maid concept!! adventurer concept!! thief concept!! black swan concept!! eve concept!! pippi concept!! doll concept!! catwoman concept!! table tennis concept!! classy concept!! great gatsby concept!! 80′s disco concept!! retro concept!! seafood concept!! femme fatale concept!! vampire concept!! 

everyone: ugh girls are the same always cute/slutty :/

boygroups: hip-hop concept #982062 

everyone: now thIS IS what im talking about!! iNNOVATION! no oNE HAS ever worn a backwards cap before!! did you know that my oppa invented the word swag?! did you????!!

Uncharted Aesthetics: Chloe Frazer

“Seems like I am always saving your arse.”

The Queen of I-75

(OR: This Never Would Have Happened at Dairy Queen)

—So uh, there is historical precedent that says the easiest way to get me to write something for you is to shower me with compliments and then drop a prompt on me while batting your eyelashes, so… this is @queensandkingsofattolia‘s fault (with a bit of @wolf-thecontradictorysentence as well). based on/inspired by this post

I wrote almost 2000 words in a little under 5 hours while working my customer service job, so here, enjoy this customer service AU in which no customers are served.

Irene has been the manager of the McDonald’s on the I-75 exit since she was 17 years old, and if Nahuseresh thinks he’s going to take over this restaurant like he did the Long John Silver’s across the way, he’s got another thing coming.

She stares into Kamet’s longsuffering face and says, “Does he think I like you better or something? I’m still not signing anything for him.”

Kamet doesn’t look like he thinks anyone likes him at all, much less that they could like him more than his charming, handsome boss. “He just wanted me to deliver a message,” he says tiredly. Kamet doesn’t get paid enough for this. Kamet doesn’t get paid enough for the job he was actually hired to do, which was frying hushpuppies. Playing messenger in Nahuseresh’s game of fast food corporate intrigue was never in the paperwork.

“Speak,” Irene commands.

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