adult sleepover!!!!

out of all the aspects of millennial-bashing, i think the one that most confuses me is the “millennials all got trophies as a kid, so now they’re all self-centered narcissists” theory

like– kids are pretty smart, y'all. they can see that every kid on the team gets a trophy and is told they did a good job; they can also see that not every kid on the team deserves a trophy, and not everyone did do a good job

the logical conclusion to draw from this is not “i’m great and i deserve praise”– it’s “no matter how mediocre i am, people will still praise me to make me feel better, so i can’t trust any compliments or accolades i receive”

this is not a recipe for overconfidence and narcissism. it is a recipe for constant self-guessing, low self-esteem, and a distrust of one’s own abilities and skills.

where did this whole “ugh millennials think their so-so work is super great” thing even come from it is a goddamn mystery

you know what i dont understand?? 

why dont adults have sleepovers or spoon with their platonic friends or hang out until sunrise?? when are you supposed to stop putting your head in a random friends lap and telling them to play with your hair?? when do we stop going to the grocery store together and spending the night at each others places and crowding as many of our friends onto our beds as possible so we can snuggle and gossip?

i dont want a house in the suburbs i want an place in the city with a bunch of my pals and dogs where we hang out in the kitchen and dogpile on the couch if one of us is sad

A Moment in Time [Rucas Adult AU] - Chapter Six

A Moment in Time

Synopsis: Riley Matthews needs to get out of New York, after her parents advised her to go to her great grandmother’s house in Texas she’s on the first plane to the Lone Star State. Lucas Friar is a single father trying to live up to his family’s legacy but he knows he’s overworking himself to please his mother. The moment the two of them meet they realize what they had been missing all along, but family and their past will threaten their relationship.

[Previous Chapters]

A/N: Sorry this took so long to get out, I have to write 2 papers and a presentation before Wednesday, and I’ve been swamped, I’m a grad student so papers are graded differently than undergrad. I do have ideas for the next chapter so I’m going to work on it while I attempt to work on my papers. The semester ends on Thursday so after that I’ll be completely free to write to my hearts content. 

P.S. - Lots of drama in this chapter….. just to warn you.

P.P.S. - Next chapter preview in the tags

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snuggles for the charlatan

a/n: I’ve just finished up the Reyes romance with my Nate Ryder, just in time for Reyes week! I know there’s daily prompts but I don’t know what they are, and this idea just came to me and I had to get it written. Some fluffy Reyder goodness, and I hope I did okay my first time writing the pairing!

“Uh… where do you sleep?”

Nate Ryder didn’t realize how odd the question was - or that he even needed to ask it in the first place - until it flew out of his mouth. People had to sleep somewhere. Hell, they’d all slept for six-hundred years in cryo pods, and he knew that there were bunks on the Tempest, and apartments and the like on the Nexus and well established outposts. Even Kadara Port had to have beds. But he figured that asking where someone rested their head at night was a nice thing to get to know about a person he was interested in.

Reyes stopped dabbing the cut on Nate’s forehead and furrowed his brows. “What?”

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Swinging Lifestyle

100 ways you know you’re a Swinger!
;) ;) ;)
1. You are wearing wristbands in most of your vacation photos.
2. Half of the numbers on your cell phone are listed only by screen names.
3. You are running out of reasons to tell your coworkers why you can’t go out with them this weekend.
4. You have over 50,000 frequent flyer miles on Air Jamaica.
5. You know most of your friends’ by their first names (Rich & Jen, Frank & Beth) but you don’t know their last names.
6. You have more lingerie than a hooker.
7. You had already seen pictures of your friends naked before you ever met them in person.
8. You position the computer screen in such a way your children can’t sneak up on you.
9. You can’t remember the last time you had pubic hair.
10. Before traveling somewhere, you look up couples in that area.
11. You worry about explaining to the neighbors why 10 couples show up on a Saturday night carrying over night bags and don’t leave until Sunday afternoon.
12. Your spouse asks you if you want to have sex, and your first thought is”With who?”
13. Your gynecologist wonders why you’re asking for birth control when he knows that your husband has had a vasectomy.
14. Your hot tub has never had a bathing suit worn in it.
15. Your sex toy collection costs more than your china set.
16. Your wife has a shirt that says: “I Like Girls Too.”
17. You have a stripper’s pole in the middle of your den.
18. You giggle at the golf course when someone asks if they can join you for a foursome.
19. The last thing you typically do at a party is search for your wife’s thong.
20. You’ve hugged your friends goodnight while naked.
21. You hear the word “Playmate” and your first thought is NOT “Playboy”
22. The word “slut” has become a term of endearment.
23. You remember to bring lube before you remember to bring lipstick.
24. Your choice in new carpeting is heavily based on which type won’t give you rug burns.
25. You’ve taken your Liberator with you to a dinner party.
26. The term Vanilla isn’t just a flavor to you.
27. You bet your wife who can score first with that cute girl.
28. You are constantly encouraging your kids to spend the weekend at friends’ houses.
29. You don’t think twice about wearing a short skirt, high heels and fishnets when it’s freezing outside.
30. Your wedding reception has an after party.
31. You get dressed for a party and don’t worry about comfort because your clothes won’t be on for very long.
32. You panic when your friend’s digital camera goes missing.
33. You’ve invited friends over and watched porn.
34. You’ve invited friends over and made porn.
35. You’ve watched someone do a tequila shot off of your wife’s breasts.
36. Your friends know what brand of condom you prefer.
37. You wake up in the morning and find that half of the cloths on the floor don’t fit you or your wife.
38. Your kids think it’s normal for adults to have sleepovers.
39. A hot tub is considered a necessity not a luxury.
40. You believe in Unicorns… Because you’ve actually ridden one.
41. You leave the kids at home when you go to the toy store.
42. You take photos of yourself with your head out of the frames, on purpose.
43. You can’t decide which of your three naughty schoolgirl outfits you should wear tonight.
44. You always keep a supply of condoms, lube and clean hand towels by your bed… And your guest bed… And your couch in the living room.
45. Every day is “Hump Day”, not just Wednesday.
46. You frequently use the term “Friends of friends” when explaining how you know certain people.
47. You know which of your outfits looks best under a black light.
48. You have an entire closet devoted just to themed outfits.
49. You place a ad that reads: “Wanted: Reliable babysitter who is willing to stay till sunrise and doesn’t ask any questions.”
50. You choose furniture based on which best repels semen stains.
51. The staffs at Hedo and Desire send you birthday cards.
52. You come home with that, “There’s Something About Mary” hairstyle.
53. The babysitter wonders why you are always already wearing your full-length coat when she arrives, even in summer.
54. In the gym shower you’re the only guy with shaved balls.
55. You know the most flattering angle at which to photograph your genitals.
56. All of your vacation photos were taken inside your hotel room.
57. You have free places to stay in almost all the fifty states and several cities in Europe.
58. You’ve ended e-mails with “Bi-Bi”.
59. You can expertly identify the differences between every type of breast implants.
60. On Christmas, there are certain presents that can’t be opened in front of your family.
61. You know exactly which of your friends are allergic to latex.
62. Your vanilla friends ask why they are never invited to your parties.
63. The movie “Swingers” was a huge disappointment to you.
64. It’s an unwritten law that you can’t call any of your friends on Saturday or Sunday until at least 3 p.m. so you don’t wake them up.
65. You’ve become especially good at operating your digital camera with one hand.
66. You actually installed a lock on a bedroom closet door that holds your sex-swing and other fun stuff.
67. You’re constantly afraid that visiting relatives will turn on one of your home videos you forgot to hide.
68. You make bets about how long it will take to “convert” your vanilla friend.
69. You’re in a public place and you swear you hear someone shout your screen name.
70. Before introducing them to your visiting family, you pull your friends aside and decide …” Here’s how we know each other…”
71. You start having withdrawals if the swinger’s web site is down.
72. When someone asks where you’re staying on your trip to Cancun, you pretend that you can’t remember the name of the resort.
73. You ask a guy to teach you “That thing you do with your fingers that my wife enjoys so much.”
74. In the middle of sex with your spouse, you ask someone else to take over for a minute while you go to the restroom.
75. You are more concerned about a pimple on your privates than on your face.
76. You come back from vacation and you have a tan, but no tan lines.
77. The first thing you do checking into a hotel is to ask for a lot of extra towels.
78. All the men bring their wives to your bachelor party.
79. Making it an early night means getting home before 3 a.m.
80. You’ve handed out business cards that have nothing to do with your occupation.
81. Your sexual fantasies never last very long… Because they keep coming true!
82. You are hanging around vanilla friends and you absentmindedly squeeze their butts.
83. You erase your computer’s browser history and cache every time you leave your office.
84. You buy lap dances for your wife… And vice versa.
85. You own a double-headed dildo.
86. You’re still smiling on Monday morning about something you did on Saturday night.
87. You’re at the market, and the only things in your basket are condoms, lube and Red Bull.
88. On vacation you set aside time to take pictures that are actually acceptable to show to your family.
89. After 25 years, people still ask if you’re newlyweds.
90. You’ve had sex with more people since you’ve been married than you did when you were single.
91. Going to vanilla bars ranks right up there with a root canal.
92. The only time you go out with your vanilla friends is when you’re on your period.
93. Your husband has lipstick on his collar and he smells like another woman’s perfume and it brings a smile to your face.
94. On Monday morning you are glad to go back to work so you can get some rest.
95. You tell your friends not to call while your parents are in town.
96. You never make it to the drive-thru before they quit serving breakfast, on your way home.
97. You have an entire external hard-drive devoted to nothing but your party photos.
98. You spouse is having an orgasm, while you are busy in the other room discussing the stock market.
99. You spent twice as long on your profile than you did on your resume.
100. You laughed out loud at 25 or more of these

The Hand in the Hair Habit II

A/N: Sorry I’ve not been active, but I bet you’re tired of hearing that from me so here- instead, have a habit:

She tells me I do this thing…

I never realised I did it until she said something. It was after she first mentioned it to me though that I noticed she has her own version of this thing. Her hands are small and delicate with strong and nimble fingers that are God’s gift to neurosurgery. I’ve felt her hands’ strength alongside their gentle touch. Sometimes they’re used to comfort, sometimes they can be inappropriate and mischievous, I definitely know their capabilities for pleasure, other times they can inflict pain. Small, delicate, inappropriate and strong: a summary of my wife, ladies and gentlemen.

She does this thing…

I remember telling Amelia that Megan was still alive. That day, the day that two officers had come to our front door and said the words I’d been wishing for since I lost her. That day I should not have gone to work, I should have known my limits, but I needed anything to take my mind off the high-pitched ringing in my ears. That day I should not have pushed away the thankful mother of a baby I saved and should not have rudely walked away in a near-PTSD episode.

Amelia was the one to find me, my fists digging into an exam bed’s mattress, kneading out the panic and fear rising in my chest. She said nothing and waited. I knew that look- she wasn’t leaving. I told her about the officers, about how they’d found Megan, and I couldn’t say the last bit. It was the bit that was haunting my every thought that day. She was saying something about finding peace and I wanted to cut her off but the words wouldn’t come. Then she stood up and wrapped her arms around my neck, and I felt her hand stroke my hair. It was the first time that day that I felt myself able to breathe enough to say the words, “She’s alive.”

She drove me back to Meredith’s house, took care of me and handled the situation perfectly. She was perfect- something in the past we had agreed we definitely were not. Amelia, through Teddy, confirmed that it was Megan and I suddenly broke down. As I collapsed into her arms, it was her hand in my hair that encouraged me to cry harder and cling on tighter. By the end of the night, I was dehydrated and exhausted and she ordered me to lie down with my head on her lap. Her hand played with my hair and lulled my reluctant eyelids to close. She was my hero that day.

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Request for this scenario:

Oooohhh, daddy kink with namjoon <3.<3

Group: BTS

Pairing: Namjoon (Rap Mon) x Reader

Genre: Smut (Daddy Kink)

“I might be a little late, Jagi. Jungkook and Taehyung are fighting” Namjoon texted. He put his phone in his pocket and tried, again, to get Jungkook out of his room. He knocked on the door and called out to the ill-tempered maknae. “Jungkook, seriously. You can’t lock yourself in there forever. The two of you need to apologize” he called to him.

Namjoon’s phone buzzed and he sighed. You were probably going to be mad at him. Tonight was the first night, in weeks, that he was having an “adult sleepover” with you. He unlocked his phone and went to your message. His eyes bulged when he saw the attachment that you’d sent. His lips parted as he looked at your body. You were wearing a black negligee and lying in bed. Your hair was sprawled in every direction and you had a finger in your mouth. With one eyebrow arched and the most seductive face Namjoon had ever seen, you almost brought him down to his knees.

As if the picture wasn’t enough, the message provided more than enough incentive for Namjoon. His penis came alive reading the words:

Don’t keep me waiting too long, Daddy”.

‘Daddy’, the word swirled around his head as he scrolled back up to your picture. He loved the way the picture stopped just below your breasts, leaving his imagination to run wild. Your sheer little outfit perfectly showed just enough of your perky nipples. Namjoon licked his lips, becoming a little too involved in the picture.

“Namjoon!” Jin yelled.

He looked up and quickly put his phone down. “Yeah? What?” he asked.

“I already talked to Taehyung. I can take over with Jungkook, if you want. I know you had plan-”

Namjoon hugged Jin and bolted for the door.


You tousled your hair and looked in the mirror. Surely Namjoon wouldn’t be too late. With the way that you looked, how could he be? You heard a knock on the door and looked up at the clock on your bedroom wall. Could that be him? You hoped that it wasn’t anyone else, since the see-through negligee was the only thing you were wearing.

If it was him, he definitely wasn’t late. In fact, he was a little early. You ran to the front door and looked through the peephole. You smiled, seeing Namjoon standing in front of your door.

You cracked the door open and let him in. As you shut the front door, you could feel his eyes taking you in. You could feel him staring at the black material and how it barely hid your assets. You could feel him staring at the curves of your hips and ass. “You’re early” you commented, voice sultry and inviting. You weren’t really in the mood for a lot of talking. You just wanted to feel him and everything he had to offer.

Namjoon didn’t respond, walking close to you. He pressed your back to the door and you gazed into his eyes. All you could see was lust staring back at you; a hunger growing in the pools of his eyes.

“Daddy, huh?” he smirked. His voice was deeper than you knew it could go and it turned you on even more. You nodded and bit your lip before grabbing a handful of his shirt, pulling him down for a kiss. Weeks without sex with Namjoon was dangerous to your sanity levels. You needed this man. 

Namjoon’s grabbed a handful of your ass, squeezing and massaging it. You could feel his hard-on trapped between you. You moaned into the kiss and Namjoon cursed, pulling away from you. He pulled you to your bedroom, tired of waiting. He needed release and he needed it now.

You lay on the bed as he began to disrobe. “Hurry Daddy, it hurts~” you whined sexily. His hands froze on the button of his pants and he groaned.

“Where does it hurt, baby?” he moaned. You spread your legs temptingly and he groaned again.

“I need you to take a look” you said, your body propped up on your elbows. Namjoon freed himself of the last of his clothes and you whimpered at the sight of his stiff dick. You licked your drying lips as he sat on the bed, between your legs. He swallowed hard as he stared at your wetness.

“You look a little swollen, baby” he said, referring to your enlarged clit.


Namjoon swiped his thumb over your clit and your breath caught. He pressed harder and your nails scratched at the bed sheets. You moaned, feeling him rub long, drawn out circles over your sensitive button. Your hips circled to meet him and he watched as your chest rose, your nipples pointing to the sky. “Is this where it hurts?” he asked, his opposite hand stroking his member.

“Oh yes, Daddy! Right there” you moaned.

“Fuck” he cursed. Hearing you say the word was sexy but hearing you moan ‘Daddy’ was unbearable. 

He brought his face closer to your sex and dragged his tongue over your slit. You sucked in a breath through your teeth as you humped against him. Namjoon pressed a finger into your opening and thrust it in and out, his opposing hand moving at the same pace over his engorged cock.

His tongue flicked steadily over your clit and you moaned loudly, your back arching.

“Ah~” you moaned, your orgasm rushing through you. Namjoon continued fingering you, feeling your body trembling around his single digit. He gave a long suck to your clit and you screamed, your body shaking more violently.

Namjoon stood up, penis in hand, and pulled you to the edge of the bed. He placed the head of his cock to your slit and you moaned. You’d been looking forward to this all week.

“Fuck me, Daddy” you said, urging him forward. 

Namjoon obeyed, burying his cock into you. He grunted and pulled out before stuffing himself back inside of you.

Namjoon thought back to that picture you’d sent him and remembered how erect your nipples had been. He reached up and ripped your outfit enough to expose your breasts and sucked your nipple into his mouth. His thrusts were harder then, his hips roughly rocking back and forth. You tugged on his hair and he groaned, biting your nipples.

Your legs wrapped around him and you screamed for him to make you cum. You could feel your orgasm building with each strong thrust. “I’m so close” he moaned.

Your mouth fell open as you came again, the strength of your walls pushing Namjoon to cum as well. He fell on top of you, the two of you breathless, sweaty, and greatly satisfied.

The two of you crawled to the middle of the bed where you laid facing one another.

“You ripped my new outfit” you complained, pulling at the loose strings that hung.

“Wasn’t that the point of the outfit?” he asked, smiling.

“Mmhm” you grinned, moving to kiss him. Your tongues intertwined and you ran your hand over his chest and down to his penis. You could feel him hardening again and you stopped the kiss.

“Already?” you asked, shocked.

“It’s been weeks” he said, as if that justified everything. 

anonymous asked:

plz tell us all the receipts about Niall!! one day, I live in hope too meet the precious little irish puppy that is Niall but for now I will vicariously live thru your friends!

I have a friend who I might have had an adult sleepover with once or twice who was part of the boys group in 2010 on the X Factor and he said that Niall was so nice to everyone and that everyone loved him. No one was happier for Niall to have made it onto the show than literally everyone else who was part of the X Factor that year.

@bekaj76 Submitted:

When I was a kid me my mum and my sister moved house a lot. The house we moved into when I was 15 was different to all the others. Nothing made sense, it was big with a lot of land around but it made no sense. It was half old and half newer but not modern by any means, the floor plan was like a maze with rooms coming off other rooms that shouldn’t be connected, and several living areas but no main living area to speak of. The pool was in the front garden with a large deck overlooking it from the front of the house. I imagine we moved there because the rent was cheap and it was bigger than any place we had before. I don’t really remember what the first thing I noticed that was strange about the place was, I just remember feeling uncomfortable all the time. There were several bedrooms to choose from but being a teenager I took one of the large living areas that had two entries as my room and also a door that went outside, I guess I liked the idea of my own personal entrance or something. I decorated my room with loads of posters and big hanging crepe paper flowers that hung from fishing line from my ceiling. One night I was alone listening to music when these flowers that always moved slowly in the air to some degree suddenly caught my eye. They began to spin at an unusual speed in one direction then stop dead and turn directly back in the other. These things were big, about the size of a mountain bike wheel and this was in no way a natural way for them to move. They would turn in unison and then stop, then back the other way, then stop, then one would remain still and the other would turn and stop, then the other would do the same. I lay there watching in disbelief and fear creeping over me but trying to stay calm. Suddenly all I could hear in my head was ‘get out’ I was so filled with fear I bolted to the door and ran until I reached the sitting room where my mum was watching TV and stopped before the door so I could walk in and appear normal. Later I returned to the room and the feeling had gone. This ‘get out’ feeling continued to haunt me the entire time we lived there, happening almost every night at some stage. There was a dining room between the room we mainly used to relax and watch tv in and the hall that went off to different parts of the house including the kitchen. I don’t know how long it took for us all to talk about it, all I know is one night we were all talking and someone mentioned how ‘I run through the dining room’ the shock that crossed the faces of everyone else in the room including a close friend of my mums who was over almost daily was clear. We all did it. You didn’t walk through that ran. You would get to the entry way and you would just be filled with the need to get through there as fast as possible. Once you were on the other side you stopped and were ok to walk through the next room, but every time you hit that room again you ran. My sister was 6 when we moved there and not long after my mum got her a kitten, I had gotten a dog so it was only fair she had her own pet too. One day she came to my mum saying 'a cat just came out of my cat’ confused and thinking it was impossible this kitten could be having kittens my mum went to see. She found the kitten acting normal and no other cats or kittens around. She asked my sister why she had said that and not to make up stories, to which my sister became upset and explained that she was playing with the kitten when it walked a few steps toward her bedroom wall, stopped frozen and a 'smoke cat’ came out of her cat, stopped, turned its head and looked at her and then walked into the wall and was gone. My mother shocked came to ask me if my sister had been saying strange things or making up stories but we both knew she wasn’t really that kind of kid.

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Request:  Idk if requests are being taken but an you do a dean and reader one where the reader goes on hunts with Sam and dean sometimes and y/n has a bf but is really in love with dean. They do the hunt and dean drops off y/n at her house and finds her bf cheating, leaves and her and dean end up together:) sorry that was really long!!! Love your blog and you are fabulous!!!!

Request:  Hiiiii could you please do a one shot with Dean x reader where they go to a bar after a hunt and the reader gets drunk and leaves with a random guy who eventually tries to hurt her, and Dean saves her from him and expresses his feelings for her? :-)

Request:  Can you do a oneshot with Dean and the reader about the song “Waiting for Superman” by Daughtry with a happy ending please? I love your work so much! Thanks for everything!

Request:  Monday! WooHoo! Please could you do a Dean x reader oneshot where they go paintballing for a case but the reader doesn’t dress correctly (like in thin clothing) and gets massive bruise and cuts and loads of headshots. And Dean gets really protective and shoots everybody and fluff and him taking care of her. Please thankies!

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I’m thankful for all the beautiful roles Evan Peters plays. And how he plays them all so perfectly. Peace Love Evan.
-first 2 gifs: Sleepover-
-second 2 gifs: first season of American horror story-
-third 2 gifs: Second season of American horror story-
-fourth 2 gifs: Adult world-

unrequited love - part two

REQUEST: @nylalushlifexx - reader has a crush on sebastian while he’s dating margarita and one day margarita mentions reader’s crush in front of sebastian reader gets uncomfortable and embarrassed and leaves

WARNINGS: language! some angst and a dash of fluff lol

AUTHOR’S NOTE: first part - unrequited love

Enjoy! .xx

Several weeks managed to pass by and you hadn’t heard of Sebastian whatsoever. Every once in a while you’d see candid photos of him or see him Don’s Instagram stories. Your heart fluttered when you would see him through your screen.

The long weekend had come and you and your best friend, Bri, were having an “adult” sleepover. She had been great company after finding out what had happened. She was very good at taking your mind off of it.

“How was work?” She asked, laying down on the floor in front of you with her glass of dark red wine in her hand.

You shrugged and flipped through Netflix. “Fine. Just you know… paperwork and stuff. You know how it is.”

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Evan peters collage


Please do not remove tags

feel free to request my lovelies xo



/text/-AU meme

~text~-text message imagine

Please let me know if I have made any mistakes so I can fix it :)


/Mornings with Him/



Good Choice

Danger Zone


Together Again

We’ll Run Away

Your A Youtuber

~…Cute Texts?~


~Your Not Talking (BSM)~


/5sos Sets You Up/

/He Misses You/

Don’t Leave*

Sex Tape*

~You’re Hiding~

Lock And Key

Surprise Surprise

A Little Bit Out Of Your Limit

How To… (Cake)*

My Girl

Prince Calum Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.3

You Find Out He Has A Daddy Kink*

International Soul Mates

The Jock & The Nerd


Friends Close, Enemies Closer

Are You Sure?

Rags to Riches Pt.4

Stories Left Untold

/Adult Sleepover/

C.H. Imagine Pt.2


Little Moments

Truth or Dare

Do You Believe in Ghosts- Part 1-

Taking Control*

Bad Blood

The Soccer Player*

Beer Pong


The Intern


Criminal AU

Between Love and War

Teach Me* Pt.2

Princess Protection Program

The Island*

Your Run Out of Your Wedding For Him

/Your His Sister/

Prince Ashton  Pt.1 Pt.4


Calum Takes Him Out on the Town

/You’re a Minor/

Round Two*

Peter Pan


Ashton Who?

Drummer Boy* Pt.3

Tattooed Skin



Panic Attack

She’s Back

Phone Call

Cuddly Ash

If I Stay

Ridin’ Like Bonnie and Clyde

It’s Not About The Game

They Miss You


Babe I’m On the Phone*

His Bandanna

Break the Bed*

Only a Friend Pt.2

Secret Relationship

Dirty Talk*

Can’t Be Bad* (Cashton)

~Subtle Advice~

It’s All In the Journey Pt.4 Pt.5

I Fucking Care*

Big Brothers Help Pt.6

/You Die Before You Get Married/

Stressed About Exams

Are You as Beautiful as I Remember?



You Tease Each Other (not dating)

Love Is Blind

You’re The Lead Singer*

Off Limits*




Good Enough For You

Just A Game*

Mistletoe Kisses

Christmas Surprise

You Miss Him

The Intern


~Pre-Wedding Talk~

The Baker’s Daughter

/He Misses You/

Earned It*

All The Time*

How Sorry Are You* Pt.2*

Your A Spy

Guardian Angel Pt.2


~You’re Like Seven Foot~

/Talking About How Cute You Are/

Time of the Month Pt.3

Cuddly Luke


/Your Calum’s Sister/


The Rest Of Our Lives*

How To…(Cake)*

Your Teacher Sees Your Scares


You Said Pt.2

High School Hero*

/He Tells You All He Wants To Buy You/


Terrible Things Song Imagine

They Fight Over You Muke

Half a Heart

Rose Tattoo Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.4

It’s Me of Her

Best Student*

Opposites Attract*

Best Friends Pt.2

All Thanks To Ellen

Got That Princess?

They’re Wrong*

Don’t Worry

The Spoiled One*


Baby Girl*

Vanilla?* (visuals)

Car Crash

Right Here

The Boxer*

Keep Quiet*

~Best Friends~

Well You Thought Wrong


Wildest Dreams

~Aussie Charm~


Can’t Be That Bad* (Cashton)

Sex in your family home*


Wrong Room

He leaves on tour when you have twins

Morning Cuddles

Close as Strangers

Sharing a Hotel Room

He’s Sick

Bad Boy

Wrapped Around Your Finger

New Years Party

You See Each Other After the Break Up

Cuddle With Me

My Best Friends Brother

You Get in an Accident and He Doesn’t Know

He Surprises You

Fix You

Dating Meme

It’s All About You Tonight, Baby*


I Messed Up

Sing Me To Sleep

Your Trying to Lose Weight and They Don’t Like It

You’re On Your Period

You Don’t Remember Him

I Miss You

~You Agree On Having A Baby~

Bad Teacher*

You Pretend to Hate Each Other

The Locker Room*

Ruined Surprise


Christmas Surprise

Kiss Of Realization

Teen Angel

Dance With Me


Proof Enough?

Prince Luke

Bad Sweetheart

The Intern

Prince Luke Series (Fairy tale)

Prince Luke pt.2

Prince Luke Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.4

Sleeping Beauty

The Princess Pt.2

Your Royal Highness Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.4

A Royal Affair Pt.8

Prince Luke


Six Seeds of the Underworld

Don’t Dye

Don’t Tell Daddy*

Best Friend’s Brother*

‘To The Moon’

~New Blue Fricktard~



/You Fall Asleep/

/Demon/ Pt.2 Pt.3


Badboy, Goodgirl Pt.2

Fans Ship You

Daddy Micheal

Being in a Relationship with Him

You’re a Virgin and He Doesn’t Know

~He Wants A Snowball Fight~

Who’s Your Daddy*


The Little Mermaid

Fuck Cancer Pt.2 Pt.3

No Hands*

Moving In

That One Over There


They Fight Over You Muke

Video Games

Long Car Rides


You Summoned Me?* Pt.2

Singing in the Shower*

Smut Blurb*

~Him Buying Your Pads~

Birthday Tricks

Can It Wait

Your His Sister

Prince Micheal Pt.1 Pt.3

Jealous of Harry

Partners In Crime- Literally

You Have Depression/Anxiety

The Intern


How You Meet

Sleeping Together

/Skype Moments/

Soul Mates

Your Child Calls Him Dad

Abuse (Cake)

/Looking Good/

/Drove By All The Place We Used To Hang Out Getting Wasted/

You Get Drunk and He Takes Care of You

Welcome Home


Restless Nights (His POV)

Homecoming AU


Good Morning

How You Sleep Together (gifs)

Your Favorite Feature of His

Your Best Friend Doesn’t Like Your Boyfriend Pt.2

Your Kids Toddlers Teens

Neighbors Pt.9 Pt.10 Pt.11 Pt.12

Someone From His Family Doesn’t Like You Pt.2

I Miss You


Soul Mate Muke

Fairy Tale

His Favorite Physical Feature of Yours

You Tell Him You Have Cancer

Rough Sex*

What I Like About You


How You Meet

Your Drunk and He Takes Care Of You


You Surprise Him On Tour (gifs)


Your Brother Sees Your Marks

Broken Up and Your in the Hospital Pt.2

Another Timezone Taking Me Away From You

~Teasing You~

Going Down On You*

3am Malum

Soul Mate


Horror Movie

Pictures ;)*


Lazy Sundays

You Turn Him On in Public

BSM He Tells You to Change

Hickeys You Leave on Him

~They Tell You They Love You~


Little Things He Does That Annoys You

Your Sick/ On Your Period

You Have a Fever

Getting Out Of Bed

Another Boy Tweets You a Photo of You Two Cuddling (with 5sos and 1d)

He Has A Secret Tattoo

You Catch His Eye

Play Fighting


You Have A Problem With Your Lungs (Cashton)

You’re a One Night Stand, But He Wants You to Stay

He Asks You To Move In


He Gets Jealous

The Christmas Proposal

TIFU by taking Ambien and having sex with my new boyfriend. NSFW

Quick background: I’ve had insomnia issues for years and went the prescription route about six months ago. Tried a thousand options, all unsuccessfully, and finally struck gold with Ambien. I take 10mg pretty much every night - total godsend. Recently started dating a new guy. He’s great, I’m infatuated, and I’m doing everything in my power to not fuck it up.

As most of you probably know, the Ambien walrus is very real. If you don’t go to bed within 20-30 minutes, you’ll probably start seeing and doing weird shit. Most nights I’m asleep in minutes, but I’ve never had insane hallucinations or blacked out and done something ridiculous. I’ve watched pillows growl like lions, picture frames morph into dragons, and towels turn into the couple from American Gothic. The worst thing thus far was waking up to an order confirmation from Amazon prime for 24 boxes of sugar-free Jello.

Well, that is until 3:30 am today. Last night was our second adult sleepover. Around 3, he’s sound asleep and starting to snore a little while I’m lying there under his cuddle trap, bug-eyed and wide awake. I’d had a long week and the idea of a sleepless night isn’t too appealing, so I grab one from my purse, swallow the fucker, and crawl back into bed. We didn’t have much to drink earlier and the Ambien walrus rarely hangs out with me, so I wasn’t worried about anything.

About 15 minutes later, the BF wakes up and starts initiating sex, and I’m very down. He’s hot, sex is fun, and let’s just say 2015 was the most celibate year of my adult life. Everything’s going great - a little making out, a little foreplay, the P goes in the V, everyone’s happy. Important to note: we aren’t doing anything remotely freaky. Very enjoyable, but very vanilla.

At this point, it’s right around the 30 minute mark and just in time, the walrus pulls a Michael Jordan and comes out of retirement. The BF’s been on top for a few minutes when I suddenly recoil a little. Out of nowhere I scream, “Oh my god STOP. Can’t we just have sex normally?!” He pulls off and says, “I’m sorry, of course…but what do you mean? Did I do something wrong?”

I was 100% convinced that we were having sex on stage at the Democratic National Convention while Hillary Clinton was delivering a speech. I thought his bed was next to the podium, and Hil was narrating our every move and explaining how real sex, aka not porn sex, works as part of some sex ed thing. He’s howling laughing, can barely breathe, rolls off of me and tells me that sure, we can leave, we’ll just go to sleep and have some normal sex later.

I wake up at 9-ish and as a huge fan of morning nookie, I’m all over him. Right as he’s about to stick his dick in me, he smirks and goes, “Oh I’m sorry, is this normal enough for you?” I don’t have a fucking clue what he’s talking about. He starts cracking up and explains the entire thing, which I had ZERO recollection of (though it’s been coming back to me today). I don’t think I’ve ever been more embarrassed or turned a brighter shade of red in my life.

The bad news is, I don’t think I can take Ambien again. Ever. I want to flush my remaining supply down the toilet and tell my doctor to cancel my refills and get me on something new. The good news is, this guy must be quite fond of me, because I’m pretty sure yelling that you don’t want to fuck on stage at the Democratic National Convention would be a dealbreaker for most people.Don’tworrywestillbonedafter

Oh, and I’m not even a Democrat. And I really don’t like Hillary Clinton.

TL;DR I yelled at my brand new boyfriend to stop fucking me because I thought we were on stage with Hillary Clinton.