An Adolescent Adult

I feel highly inadequate
Because something in my head
Just won’t click
And the moment
Things seem to get better
A tidal wave of negativity
Crashes over me
And weights of depression
Tie around my ankles
And drag me down,
Hold me down
So the bitter taste of failure
Floods my mouth
And fills my lungs
As I wonder,
What did I become?
I became nothing
Because at eighteen,
I’m still treated like a child
Yet expected to act
With the same wisdom
And sophistication
As an adult who has it all figured out
But I don’t
And I won’t anytime soon
Unless you give me the chance
To untie my ankles
Claw my way to the surface,
And let me find my purpose.
This American Life

OKAY. so for one of my classes, my prof recommended that we listen to the Harper High School episodes instead of reading the textbook, which is awesome, because the textbook for that class is pretty hard to read, as in I can’t seem to find the motivation to do so. I hopped on the chance to listen to the episodes instead. What I didn’t expect was how incredibly depressing and moving it would be. 

It follows a project where the reporters from This American Life spent five months at Harper High School in Chicago, following the counsellors and students to take a look at the lives behind the story: “last year alone, 29 current and recent students were shot.” They live where shootings are common because gangs are very prevalent in the neighbourhood. Students walk down the road because there are trees next to the sidewalk and that’s, in their words, “not safe." 

One particular student they talked about was Adante. He accidentally shot his brother recently and is filled with self-loathing. His sister doesn’t even talk to him anymore, and he overheard his mother saying something along the lines of "he killed my baby.” Adante. Hates. Himself. Luckily, he started coming to school again because he grew close to the counsellor , Crystal, who provided much positive emotional support . His grades are the highest they’ve ever been. Things were looking up for him.

Oh god then I cried. 

Adante was picked up on a gun charge. He fled after he heard the potential consequences, literally running out of the court house. This meant he also violated his probation for the shooting of his brother. “It feels like I lost him,” was how Crystal put it. Later, she called Adante. She asked him not to tell her where he was, and reminded him that there was still good in him, and not to forget that. At the end of the phone call, they said their goodbyes. It was beautiful, but so devastating. 


me tengo que ir
y no es por mi
contigo esta mi corazon
todo el amor de mis entrañas
de mi pecho y de mi alma
algun dia volvere a estar aqui

aloex asked:

so I made my first theme and I think I'm pretty happy with it. There's just one thing with it and I have no idea how to fix it. Basically, on my pages (FAQ, about, ect.) the white box is always the same as my post width. It makes everything look a bit silly and in my faq, the words just come right out. Is there any way to change the size of this box without changing it on the homepage? sorry to bother you.. it's just irritating. If you're wondering: it's the theme on my blog. Thank you!! xxx

the theme looks really cute!! one of the easier ways to fix it is adding <br>’s to make things fit on the page and then for your askbox, just resize it using this code:

 <iframe frameborder=”0” height=”190” id=”ask_form” scrolling=”no” src=”” width=”450px” style=”background-color: transparent; overflow: hidden;”></iframe>


Why are my Opinions as a teenager any less valid then anyone else’s? It pisses me off because i have the capability to have my own ideas but people just assume i am saying things my parent tell me. seriously half the stuff i believe in and even where i stand politically is the opposite of where my parent are. it sucks because i cant participate in conversations i am mentally capable of add things to but as soon as i do my age lets people blow it off like its not actually happening. why is it my fault i have my own thoughts and want to share them? can we maybe stop assuming that all adolescents just repeat things they’ve heard? even for just one day and maybe the world would hear some cool ideas and maybe it would remove the stereotype that teens are given.

aloex asked:

on my blog, my music player won't fade out with my updates tab thingie. When you're not hovered on the tab, the player just suspends itself on my blog and looks ridiculous. it's be great if you could help :) thank you!

could you re install it so i can see where you’re placing it and the coding for it? 

→ meg
How You Love Differently When You’re a Child of Divorce — annabashedly

So ironic that I ran across this article today. In my adolescent psychology class I just started reading about the impact of divorce on adolescents…
I am the poster child for all the negative outcomes from dealing with divorced parents as a child.
Explains so much of who I am and what I’ve done.
Not only was I dealing with the divorce.. My mom has always been mentally unstable and my dad has never been there as a real father figure for me.

Never been kissed,
What does that mean?
That another’s lips have never romantically touched mine,
In an attempt to escape this rat race and time/
A gesture saying that everything will be fine,
And every time our lips meet,
You are reminded that life is at your feet,
Because you are happy and your chaos goes to take a backseat/
But I guess when u have never had a kiss,
This is not a tangible form of bliss.

Crowded Dreams

A lotta people never seem to realize it’s not about growing up, doesn’t matter if you call it a glow up
Truth is life is about waking up

It ain’t about sex, ain’t about bills
Either way you still end up learning bout hell
Snap your fingers once, snap em twice, three times
Every snap your further in the future
If tomorrow is considered a new day then why do we use the same hours?

Wake up and brush your teeth
Catch the bus
Pen and paper, no cheatin!
Dumb your calculator
Use your pencil so you don’t make a permanent mistake

Graduate, next building
It’s a blueprint for your life
But is it really yours?
Sign it
Bet that make you think twice

He brought you your dream car
Years later it’s a mini van
He has a real nice job, ya’ll got a real nice house
Five kids and a yard
Got any hobbies? Are you really happy?

Stop taking orders from the teacher, to bow to a drill sergeant
Whole team charges at the opponent
You close your eyes, move forward
Now it’s your squad on stage
Your rappin, crowd stompin
Energy pumpin
You dream of being a rap star
But your stuck shooting army cars
Father told you music ain’t a real career
Now he’s in a grave at 45
Open your eyes, your shot
Boom click, your life

Mom said pink is for girl, blue is for boys
That night you noticed rope had no color
So you made a very pretty necklace
Now momma claims she’s color blind

It ain’t about growing up
It’s about waking up
I don’t blame you if you wanna shut your eyes

Hold Still by Lynn Steger Strong tells the story of the complex relationship between a mother and daughter. The backdrop is New York, from Park Slope to Columbia, and the novel is peppered with family members and friends. Maya, the mother, has an old friend who figures into the narrative bringing more to the plot and taking us to the beach in Florida. The novel speaks to all that it takes to being a mother in contemporary times. It is a painful, frustrating, and quietly joyful book. You will find yourself nodding as events and feelings unfold that are universal in our struggle to be more than just survivors.