The Single Silver Fox & His Supernova || A Jim Kirk Fanfic
My dad had been single for 20 years. 20 years is a long time to not have sex. Especially since he’s probably the most handsome man on the planet.
My mom died when I was 3, and dad was 38. She was 31.
Dad is now 58 with a head full of gray hair and a white beard when he lets it grow out. He’s turned down a countless number of dates all because of my mom.
Which, surprises me because Dad tells the story of just moments before she took her last breath, she looked at him and said, “I want you to be happy. Find someone who treats Eva (me) well.” And he hasn’t. He has refused. He says no one will ever be able to compete, or even compare to my mom.
He still has nightmares about her dying. 20 years later.
I mean, I guess I would too if I had to watch the love of my life die the way my mother did. It was in the middle of an attack in Yorktown, the first attack on a Federation Base that the Klingons had made in the war that had began three years prior, and a large piece of metal had fallen from a building and literally split my mother in half. Dad watched as it fell on her; helpless from yards away. Attempting to move her out of the way would have been futile. He ran but he was too late. She remained alive for 5 minutes. Dr. McCoy said that if they moved the metal while she was still alive it would kill her instantly. Dad held mom as she took her last breaths. The last thing she said to him was “I love you.”
I remember that day. I remember because she came in to say goodbye to me and she looked stunning in her gray battle outfit. Her hair was down, Dad liked it down. She was well rested and her skin was glowing, probably a by-product of a lot of sex the night before. (Dad’s drunk confessions aren’t always appropriate.) And she told me, “I’ll see you later, Sugar Plum. Mama loves you.” I can still smell her perfume.
I am 23, and I’m getting married in two weeks. And Dad is going alone. To my wedding. “I can’t, Eva. I just can’t. You know why and I’m not explaining it again.” he said, his hands in the air, as he went back and taped shut another box of my clothes.
“Dad, it’s been twenty years! Mom would want you to be happy!”
“What do you know? About what your mother would want?” he snapped back. “You were three. You barely remember her.”
My heart stung. I looked down at the floor before turning my back and resuming my task of taking every article of clothing I had off of the hangers.
“I’m just saying, you always tell the story of how she said she wanted you to be happy–”
“I am happy, Eva. I’m happy to be alone. You only get one great love in life, and your mother was mine. And I’m happy to be alone with memories. I don’t need a subpar woman to share one of the happiest days of my life with.”
“Okay.” I said, dropping the subject for the 93rd time.
Tomorrow, my grandparents were hosting a wake and celebration of life for my mom. Kind of a Cajun tradition, I suppose. Crab boil, beer and zydeco music. Ancient music. Awful music. But, mom grew up on the Bayou. Everything we ate was spicy as a result. She wasn’t exactly bland either.
My grandparents hoped that the wake would give dad more closure. They asked him to be there. And despite his strong desire to not go, he had accepted the invitation.
The next day, we pulled into my grandparents estate, and the entire yard was filled with cars of every shape, size and color. Family had come from across Louisiana and beyond. This was family. Loud, crazy, annoying.
“Eva! Where’s the beau?” my grandma asked, coming over to me.
“He’s in New Delhi for work, Grandmere. I’m sorry he can’t make it.” I said as she kissed my cheek.
“Oh, no big problem. Jim.” Dad’s face was solemn. Grandmere went up to him and hugged him. Grandmere looks the way Mama would have if she ever made it to 75. “Don’t look so grim, Cher. We’re here to celebrate her. Not mourn.”
“Doesn’t matter. Doesn’t change the way I feel.” he said, looking down.
“Cher, it’s been twenty years. It’s time.”
“If you’re going to sit here and lecture me as to why I should move on from the greatest woman I knew then I’m going to leave.” he said, smiling at her, trying not to make a scene, but failing miserably.
“That’s not what I–”
“I shouldn’t be here. Thank you for the invite.”
He turned around and walked back to the car. “I’ll call a car for you later.” he said, looking at me.
“Dad…” I said, following after him. “You have to speak. Grandmere already arranged for it.”
He sighed, “Fine. I’ll stay, but only to speak. Then I’m leaving.”
The party dragged on. And it was time for Dad to speak. “We’d like to invite Jim to come and speak, to give us something inspiring to meditate on.”
People clapped and Dad walked up there, straightening his sport coat. Everyone got quiet when they saw the look on his face. Broken. Still hurting. “A supernova is an astronomical event that occurs during the last stellar evolutionary stages of a massive star’s life, whose dramatic and catastrophic destruction is marked by one final titanic explosion. This causes the sudden appearance of a “new” bright star, before slowly fading from sight over several weeks or months, or in my case, years. I believe, you get one true, pure love in life.” he looked over at a picture of you they had on the table, taken when you were 19. You were smiling, your hair curled, and eyes shining. “And she was mine. She was brilliant, beautiful and full of life. And joy. Sweetheart, you were my Supernova. I will always love you.”
With that, Dad walked off of the make-shift stage, tears in his eyes. I raced after him. “Eva, listen.” tears fell down his face. “I don’t want anyone else to make me happy, or to spend my time with, or whatever, because I had that with your mother. And she will always be enough for me. Please. Let me be the Starfleet’s single silver fox. I enjoy it. I have you, and now Beau to love. And one day I’ll have grand babies. That’s my lot in life and I’m okay with that. Please. Let me honor your mother in this way.”
Tears sprang to my eyes. I nodded. “Okay, Daddy. Whatever you need.”
He nodded, and pulled me into his chest. We haven’t talked about him dating since.
I miss you more with each passing day. Eva is getting married and tuning into my feminine side to plan this wedding has been difficult, but worth it, because our baby girl is having the wedding of her dreams, like we did. I hope I’m doing an okay job by you, Sweetheart. I love you. I will always love you.