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TOM + TORONTO - THE ULTIMATE GUIDE TO HIDDLESTON TIFF FASHION (Part 3/???)

FUCK YEAH THOMAS WILLIAM HIDDLESTON, FUCK YEAH. This ensemble was worn to the Instyle Hollywood Foreign Press Association Party (what a short and catchy name) and fuck did I love it.

Firstly, three-piece is definitely the way to go. Waistcoats are the gateway drug and with a build as fine as yours, accentuating the torso is absolutely freaking perfect. Yes yes yes yes yes. This suit is gorgeous, and I’m loving the venture into new prints and patterns - pinstripes look incredible and help lengthen that already tall body. Plus the colour is just divine.

Now this, sir, is how a shirt and tie combo are done. Purple, PURPLE, PuRpLE?! YESSSSSSSSSS. A brave choice but with such a classic suit this was exactly the ‘wow’ that it needed. Please wear lilac more often, you’re killing it. And that patterned tie is such a nifty way of mixing prints whilst keeping the ensemble professional and classy. Olé.

RATING: ✭✭✭

Verdict: Maybe I’m caught up in a whirlpool of excitement but this suit rocks my socks, and I can’t imagine how it could impress me more. Well played, Hiddleston, well played indeed.

3

this is a GENUINE DELIGHT my heart is SINGING what a GLORIOUS DAY we are blessed with

i cannot even describe my first sighting of this suit from ATAS/SAG panel and Screening of ‘the night manager’. we’ve seen so many blue and black suits on the recent red carpet runs and suddenly BAM we’ve got this red wonder. what colour shall we call this? rust? carmine? WHO CARES BITCHES IT’S STUNNING AND SHOCKING AND INVIGORATING 

i love that instead of wearing blue to bring out tom’s eyes (a fabulous but very standard move) this stylist has decided to put him in red to draw out the scottish strawberry-blond-ness of his hair.

bonus points for the dark purple tie, it’s a brave choice given the amount of colour already emanating from this outfit. it’d be easier to go without a tie (not that tom would ever dare) or throw on something basic and monochromatic than to choose this little number, so kudos for courage there. i think it works charmingly.

last but not least, because tom has finally learned to close his legs and sit like the precious dainty flower he is we can get these glorious shots of the soles of his brown louboutin loafers, which fantastically proves his adoration for them (look at that wear, that is a much-loved pair of shoes ladies and gentlemen and non-binary buddies).

anyhow, i could talk all day about this beautiful set of photos but instead i’ll just retire into a pile of jelly and whimper lightly for the next few days BYE

now this is just obscene i mean you would have thought that such a high-profile, high-budget film as thor 3 would have a costume department that could afford it’s own clothes. cleaaaaaaaarly they’ve just asked tom to come along to set in his regular attire and honestly i just think it’s disappointing from marvel.

also, too colourful. stop it, my poor ovaries retinas. i cannot cope with all this overwhelming vibrancy

this outfit is illegal, confirmed. definitive nopeity nope nah nope. inappropriate. 

tom has clearly levelled up sartorially because he is now able to wear TWO CONTRASTING PRINTS at the very same time?! and they’re both colourful (if blue counts as a colour, which it almost does).

but honestly those socks are suuuuuuuper cute, i can’t imagine any better way to inject some fun into stuffy media events than with mega-adorable blue spotted socks. paired with serious, i-am-a-gentleman brown brogues. goals. plus this suit is also very sweet, the warm blue and the print makes it really informal and charming. yas. YAS.

i feel like you’ve got hugh laurie in the classic black getup like some conservative dad and then tom is the rebellious drama school kid with the bold socks like “god dad acting is a real jobadmittedly this analogy works better if the dad is not hugh laurie but roll with me here

‘10 Fun Facts about Tom Hiddleston’, as featured in a too-cute-to-be-legal article in an Indonesian children’s magazine. Bonus adorable clothing-based fact bolded for your convenience:

1. Tom and Chris Hemsworth have a bucket list of places they would love to visit. Jamaica and Bermuda are on the list.

Bermuda? Uh, like the Bermuda Triangle? 9/10 would not recommend for a fun vacation…

2. When he’s bored, he likes to hit the bark off trees with a hammer.

I really hope that this is a weird translation that I’m not understanding, because this is frankly bizarre.

3. Tom never misses a single Christmas celebration, ever.

Aw, now I can’t stop picturing Tom in ugly Christmas sweaters or elf shoes or Santa hats or OKAY OKAY FINE I’LL STOP

4. When he was younger, his mum always forbade him from staring directly at the sun, but he would do it when she wasn’t around.

#rebel from a young age. He was born to play Loki.

5. Tom is scared of ice skating because of a traumatic childhood incident regarding ice skating.

Poor dear! 

6. In his opinion, he never laughs very loudly.

Should be phrased: does not 'ehehehehehe’ loudly.

7. One day he hopes to learn to play the ukulele and banjo.

I can just picture Tom, Chris and Benedict starting a band called 'Hiddleston and Sons’, can’t you?

8. He still asks his mum to wash his clothes because he doesn’t know how to use the washing or drying machine.

Beyoooooooooooond cute. She must do a good job, too - damn, those shirts are well starched.

9. He always loses monopoly.

Don’t we all?

10. He always wakes up with an alarm clock in the morning.

How this made the list of 'fun facts’ I am honestly not sure. This is more along the lines of 'super lame domestic fact’. Still, I’ll take it.

1, 2, 3… everybody fucking scream because PuRpLeEeEeeeeeee

I seriously cannot deal with the perfection that is this outfit. That smart-as-fuck pinstripe waistcoat, the divine shirt, a legitimately formal wristwatch for a change, and a smile that could probably cure cancer. I’m also impressed by how he dresses down by omitting the jacket and rolling up the sleeves, he looks like an absolute effortless dream and I am a wreck.

And please, please, please wear purple more often. Thomas, you are owning it.

It’s offical: I have a favourite outfit. And it’s not a tuxedo, a waistcoat, a quilted coat or a tie. In fact, I don’t like it because of how it looks - I like it because of what it represents.

It’s a UNICEF tee.

In conflict and crises, it is children who are hardest hit. I saw this for myself in South Sudan, on a visit to the country with Unicef earlier this year. South Sudan is a forgotten war, which strikes children with unforgivable brutality… Children, whether those journeying as refugees through Europe or living in conflicts like South Sudan, deserve a chance of a childhood. For the sake of every child in danger, our leaders must step up and do more.” 

- Tom Hiddleston [read in full here]

2

This, ladies and gentlemen, is how you wear a suit.

That is probably the most gorgeous piece of clothing I have ever seen in my life - no fucking joke. The tailoring is perfect, and I mean perfect. The pants are tight but not too tight, the shirt just passing the jacket sleeves, and a close-fitting waistcoat underneath: textbook. 

I mean, it’s just a delight to look at. The deep blue, in an irresistible sheeny fabric, with those splendidly lustrous silk lapels… Oh my god, I have lost the ability to function. 

You are one classy motherfucker Thomas.

2

Well, it’s good to see the man standing up for his fashion choices - after all, 9 times out of 10 he looks, as the Bard himself would say, ‘hot as fuck’. The remaining tenth is when he attempts casualwear.

However, the fact that this tie is, apparently, not plastic, brings to light a question on the forefront of everyone’s minds: does Thomas William Hiddleston legitimately have a leather fetish? All sources point to a single answer.

Yes, yes he does have a leather kink as wide as the pacific ocean.

HOLY MOTHER OF ZEUS, TAKE A FUCKING LOOK AT THIS, I FEEL A SIN LIST COMING ON:

- the slouch, jesus christ Thomas, pull your shoulders back

- dorky smile

- sunglasses hooked on the shirt, no wonder every t-shirt you own turns into a fucking v-neck

- slightly puffy Loki-hybrid hair

- the shirt

I’m glad this photo isn’t available in any better quality, because quite frankly a high definition version of this might just push me over the edge and cause spontaneous combustion of some sort.

Is it? Could it be?

P-p-p-purple?

(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

DAMN STRAIGHT THAT IS FUCKING PURPLE, YOU ARE NOT SEEING THIS INCORRECTLY, THAT SHIRT IS FUCKING LAVENDER PEOPLE, SOMEONE CALL THE CIA QUICKLY I HAVE A CONSPIRACY FOR THEM AND THAT CONSPIRACY IS THAT THOMAS WILLIAM HIDDLESTON IS POSSESSED, BECAUSE THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL THAT THIS MAN WOULD BE CAUGHT DEAD IN ANYTHING SO VIBRANT AS FUCKING PURPLE

**whispers** purple

You, sir, need to stop with that face. No, I am being completely serious, it is actually illegal to look that adorable. Just look at you, with your fucking blue-diagonal-stripe tie, I can’t even. Fucking. Cutie.

He looks like the bright new executive that’s just been hired to join the management team and when he walks into the board room for the first meeting all the women - and men - just go ’woaaaaaah, damn son’.

‘You be fiiiiiiiine.“

Tom Hiddleston, aka the young, cuddly executive, steering the company’s finances to record peaks whilst consoling you on your breakup over a cup of tea.

3

The lovechild of Loki and Snape returns in another terrifying but strangely intriguing edition I like to call: ‘formalwear of a Victorian serial killer’.

Instead of the silkiest-silk-ever-to-silk black waistcoat and cravat of previous images (see here), this outfit tones down the emo mood by replacing them with a floral-patterned cream vest and matching bowtie. Improvement: maybe? 

A cause of particular mirth is the replacement of the previously seen frock coat with a tailcoat variety. This would not usually be noteworthy, however the way the tail is flapping majestically behind him like a fucking bird of prey just cracks me up to no end. Caw caw, coat - caw fucking caw.

Other items worth mentioning are the gloves, which are so white they make white look grey. Also, the high stand-up collar is a particular historical highlight - Throwback Thursday indeed.

All in all, these creepy yet classic costumes are creating a lot of excitement for the upcoming film, 'Crimson Peak’, due for release on the 16th of October 2015.

2

TOM HIDDLESTON: THE PINSTRIPE STRIKES BACK and RETURN OF THE PINSTRIPE

Thank my lucky stars that the wardrobe department from this confusing amazing conflicting photoshoot have redeemed themselves from that fucking brown-olive suit of dread and horror with pinstripe editions 3.0 and 4.0

Firstly: the left. Damn, damn, damn. What I love about this is that it combines the younger colourings of blue with brown leather with the traditionally older and more mature double-breasted cut. In other words, Tom is young enough to be obscenely sexy and charming but old enough to be the classic gentlemen who holds the door. 10/10 formal suiting, would recommend.

As for the one on the right, I’m gonna be controversial here because I actually really like it. While the lack of socks confuses me the dressing down of suits with sneakers is very clever and less pedestrian than loafers. Plus with that shirt + tie + sweater + jacket I can’t help but picture the accidentally-seductive academic that all his students follow around the library. Can’t help but notice that this suit combo is a bit ‘all grey all day’ but hey, let the man live his life. Colours are a scary thing.

P.S. I am confused by the blue bag, are you staging a bank robbery? Applying for a gym membership? Why???