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Flashback time, folks.

No doubt we all remember that simpler time, when Marvel movies were yet to be made and ginger-blond curls roamed in abundance. Yes, those were beautiful years, and allow us to reminisce by - 

WAIT.

Is that suit… velvet?

YES, YES IT IS, THIS SPECIMEN IS AN UNQUESTIONABLE EXAMPLE OF A BABY HIDDLES CLADDING HIS ENTIRE GORGEOUS BODY IN NAVY MOTHERFUCKING VELVET, PHOTOS THIS PRECIOUS ARE RARER THAN TEN CONSECUTIVE BLUE MOONS, HOLY FUCKING SHIT, I GIVE UP ON LIFE.

now this is just obscene i mean you would have thought that such a high-profile, high-budget film as thor 3 would have a costume department that could afford it’s own clothes. cleaaaaaaaarly they’ve just asked tom to come along to set in his regular attire and honestly i just think it’s disappointing from marvel.

also, too colourful. stop it, my poor ovaries retinas. i cannot cope with all this overwhelming vibrancy

this outfit is illegal, confirmed. definitive nopeity nope nah nope. inappropriate. 

tom has clearly levelled up sartorially because he is now able to wear TWO CONTRASTING PRINTS at the very same time?! and they’re both colourful (if blue counts as a colour, which it almost does).

but honestly those socks are suuuuuuuper cute, i can’t imagine any better way to inject some fun into stuffy media events than with mega-adorable blue spotted socks. paired with serious, i-am-a-gentleman brown brogues. goals. plus this suit is also very sweet, the warm blue and the print makes it really informal and charming. yas. YAS.

i feel like you’ve got hugh laurie in the classic black getup like some conservative dad and then tom is the rebellious drama school kid with the bold socks like “god dad acting is a real jobadmittedly this analogy works better if the dad is not hugh laurie but roll with me here

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this is a GENUINE DELIGHT my heart is SINGING what a GLORIOUS DAY we are blessed with

i cannot even describe my first sighting of this suit from ATAS/SAG panel and Screening of ‘the night manager’. we’ve seen so many blue and black suits on the recent red carpet runs and suddenly BAM we’ve got this red wonder. what colour shall we call this? rust? carmine? WHO CARES BITCHES IT’S STUNNING AND SHOCKING AND INVIGORATING 

i love that instead of wearing blue to bring out tom’s eyes (a fabulous but very standard move) this stylist has decided to put him in red to draw out the scottish strawberry-blond-ness of his hair.

bonus points for the dark purple tie, it’s a brave choice given the amount of colour already emanating from this outfit. it’d be easier to go without a tie (not that tom would ever dare) or throw on something basic and monochromatic than to choose this little number, so kudos for courage there. i think it works charmingly.

last but not least, because tom has finally learned to close his legs and sit like the precious dainty flower he is we can get these glorious shots of the soles of his brown louboutin loafers, which fantastically proves his adoration for them (look at that wear, that is a much-loved pair of shoes ladies and gentlemen and non-binary buddies).

anyhow, i could talk all day about this beautiful set of photos but instead i’ll just retire into a pile of jelly and whimper lightly for the next few days BYE

TOM + TORONTO - THE ULTIMATE GUIDE TO HIDDLESTON TIFF FASHION (Part 3/???)

FUCK YEAH THOMAS WILLIAM HIDDLESTON, FUCK YEAH. This ensemble was worn to the Instyle Hollywood Foreign Press Association Party (what a short and catchy name) and fuck did I love it.

Firstly, three-piece is definitely the way to go. Waistcoats are the gateway drug and with a build as fine as yours, accentuating the torso is absolutely freaking perfect. Yes yes yes yes yes. This suit is gorgeous, and I’m loving the venture into new prints and patterns - pinstripes look incredible and help lengthen that already tall body. Plus the colour is just divine.

Now this, sir, is how a shirt and tie combo are done. Purple, PURPLE, PuRpLE?! YESSSSSSSSSS. A brave choice but with such a classic suit this was exactly the ‘wow’ that it needed. Please wear lilac more often, you’re killing it. And that patterned tie is such a nifty way of mixing prints whilst keeping the ensemble professional and classy. Olé.

RATING: ✭✭✭

Verdict: Maybe I’m caught up in a whirlpool of excitement but this suit rocks my socks, and I can’t imagine how it could impress me more. Well played, Hiddleston, well played indeed.

1, 2, 3… everybody fucking scream because PuRpLeEeEeeeeeee

I seriously cannot deal with the perfection that is this outfit. That smart-as-fuck pinstripe waistcoat, the divine shirt, a legitimately formal wristwatch for a change, and a smile that could probably cure cancer. I’m also impressed by how he dresses down by omitting the jacket and rolling up the sleeves, he looks like an absolute effortless dream and I am a wreck.

And please, please, please wear purple more often. Thomas, you are owning it.

It’s offical: I have a favourite outfit. And it’s not a tuxedo, a waistcoat, a quilted coat or a tie. In fact, I don’t like it because of how it looks - I like it because of what it represents.

It’s a UNICEF tee.

In conflict and crises, it is children who are hardest hit. I saw this for myself in South Sudan, on a visit to the country with Unicef earlier this year. South Sudan is a forgotten war, which strikes children with unforgivable brutality… Children, whether those journeying as refugees through Europe or living in conflicts like South Sudan, deserve a chance of a childhood. For the sake of every child in danger, our leaders must step up and do more.” 

- Tom Hiddleston [read in full here]

NEW CLOTHES NEW CLOTHES DING DING RINGA FUCKING DING

Want to know what I’m so excited about, my fine friends?

The fucking shoes.

Look at them, they shine white like the wings of angels. How in the hell does he expect to keep shoes like that clean? They’re already starting to look a little grubby (look at the smudges on that left one, tsk tsk) and this is the first time we’ve ever seen them - I do not think he has thought this through.

Also, the grey and confusing pants. Are they just thin sweatpants? They look like cotton, but very close-fitting cotton, just look at the way they cling to that booty when Tom is in what I like to call the ‘ultimate autograph booty pose’. Tone it down a few notches there, eh, Thomas, you’re getting a bit provocative.

Lastly, check out the new haircut, I think I have actually fallen pregnant just looking at it. All blond and straight and sleek, oh dear god, I haven’t been this excited about his hair since the days of Tom/Loki hybridism. Yikes. 

Just gonna bring back this gem of a baby Hiddles snap.

Between the curls, the baby face, the daggy sports jacket under a daggier overcoat, and a (surprise, surprise) grey t-shirt… So very much to love. And hate. Simultaneously. 

‘10 Fun Facts about Tom Hiddleston’, as featured in a too-cute-to-be-legal article in an Indonesian children’s magazine. Bonus adorable clothing-based fact bolded for your convenience:

1. Tom and Chris Hemsworth have a bucket list of places they would love to visit. Jamaica and Bermuda are on the list.

Bermuda? Uh, like the Bermuda Triangle? 9/10 would not recommend for a fun vacation…

2. When he’s bored, he likes to hit the bark off trees with a hammer.

I really hope that this is a weird translation that I’m not understanding, because this is frankly bizarre.

3. Tom never misses a single Christmas celebration, ever.

Aw, now I can’t stop picturing Tom in ugly Christmas sweaters or elf shoes or Santa hats or OKAY OKAY FINE I’LL STOP

4. When he was younger, his mum always forbade him from staring directly at the sun, but he would do it when she wasn’t around.

#rebel from a young age. He was born to play Loki.

5. Tom is scared of ice skating because of a traumatic childhood incident regarding ice skating.

Poor dear! 

6. In his opinion, he never laughs very loudly.

Should be phrased: does not 'ehehehehehe’ loudly.

7. One day he hopes to learn to play the ukulele and banjo.

I can just picture Tom, Chris and Benedict starting a band called 'Hiddleston and Sons’, can’t you?

8. He still asks his mum to wash his clothes because he doesn’t know how to use the washing or drying machine.

Beyoooooooooooond cute. She must do a good job, too - damn, those shirts are well starched.

9. He always loses monopoly.

Don’t we all?

10. He always wakes up with an alarm clock in the morning.

How this made the list of 'fun facts’ I am honestly not sure. This is more along the lines of 'super lame domestic fact’. Still, I’ll take it.

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Screencaps from the 2014 Jaguar Big Game Commercial - British Villains ‘Rendevouz’

I just love this mini-film; Tom is deliciously villainous and even more so for the stereotypically British outfit they’ve dressed him in. A dark plaid suit, crisp white shirt and a cup of tea to top it all off - what more can I say?

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This, ladies and gentlemen, is how you wear a suit.

That is probably the most gorgeous piece of clothing I have ever seen in my life - no fucking joke. The tailoring is perfect, and I mean perfect. The pants are tight but not too tight, the shirt just passing the jacket sleeves, and a close-fitting waistcoat underneath: textbook. 

I mean, it’s just a delight to look at. The deep blue, in an irresistible sheeny fabric, with those splendidly lustrous silk lapels… Oh my god, I have lost the ability to function. 

You are one classy motherfucker Thomas.

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Well, it’s good to see the man standing up for his fashion choices - after all, 9 times out of 10 he looks, as the Bard himself would say, ‘hot as fuck’. The remaining tenth is when he attempts casualwear.

However, the fact that this tie is, apparently, not plastic, brings to light a question on the forefront of everyone’s minds: does Thomas William Hiddleston legitimately have a leather fetish? All sources point to a single answer.

Yes, yes he does have a leather kink as wide as the pacific ocean.

HOLY MOTHER OF ZEUS, TAKE A FUCKING LOOK AT THIS, I FEEL A SIN LIST COMING ON:

- the slouch, jesus christ Thomas, pull your shoulders back

- dorky smile

- sunglasses hooked on the shirt, no wonder every t-shirt you own turns into a fucking v-neck

- slightly puffy Loki-hybrid hair

- the shirt

I’m glad this photo isn’t available in any better quality, because quite frankly a high definition version of this might just push me over the edge and cause spontaneous combustion of some sort.

Is it? Could it be?

P-p-p-purple?

(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

DAMN STRAIGHT THAT IS FUCKING PURPLE, YOU ARE NOT SEEING THIS INCORRECTLY, THAT SHIRT IS FUCKING LAVENDER PEOPLE, SOMEONE CALL THE CIA QUICKLY I HAVE A CONSPIRACY FOR THEM AND THAT CONSPIRACY IS THAT THOMAS WILLIAM HIDDLESTON IS POSSESSED, BECAUSE THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL THAT THIS MAN WOULD BE CAUGHT DEAD IN ANYTHING SO VIBRANT AS FUCKING PURPLE

**whispers** purple