adjustment

French Girls | Shawn Mendes Imagine

A/U: I guess this is what I call a fucking blurb. HAAH OKAY . Also shout out to @nobravery for helping me with all this French!! 

Word Count: 2,918

Songs:   From Gold - Nova Amor (Shawn’s) & La vie en rose - Édith Piaf (Her’s) 


“Your music taste is so… nice.” I said as I crossed my legs on Shawn’s bed.

It was late in the evening and it was dark already outside. Shawn’s window was cracked open and I could hear crickets between song changes.

“You don’t sound confident in that statement,” Shawn said smiling as he stood up from this dresser that had his average sound system on top.

I smiled nervously. “No, no. I do mean it, it just that it’s a little different from mine, but I still really like it.”

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anonymous asked:

You know I call it the White sisters paradox. Rebecca was introduced as a good White. We were told that she is an innocent victim and we are supposed to symphathize with her. But the more I watch Rebecca the more I like Chrissie.

haha, that’s a great way to think of it anon

although, slight side note: i think we’re supposed to like chrissie at the moment, because she’s acting very supportive (like… more so than makes sense???? tbh????? like, she barely reacted to the first abortion?????) and i love it, don’t get me wrong, when chrissie is wonderful and supportive and has someone to interact with in a positive way (BECAUSE THATS SO FLIPPING RARE) i love it, but i am also kind of suspicious about what they’re building up to and what the purpose of this is to the plot? because there has to be a plot purpose for her being so unquestionably, unwaveringly supportive, in spite of the robert element

idk i’m sus

I guess it’s because you saw me as something soft and calm when I was coughing up blood and reciting suicide notes in my sleep, I thought you were something more than temporary when that was all you were
Because you pick flowers and put them in water while I crush them inbetween journal pages
I guess it’s because you were always humming and I always needed something to fill the silence, now all I fall asleep to is the faucet dripping because I realized nothing can fill this room like your voice
I guess it’s because you tasted better than
Newport Cigarettes while I was the coffee that made your hands shake
Because we were two poets in love with the idea of making eachother’s pain sound beautiful, that we forgot that the pain was just pain
I guess it’s because I loved so fast and so hard that I forgot to check if you were still in the passenger’s seat, and you forgot to wear the seatbelt
I guess it’s because I have to hold my breath around you because your scent is home and I am homesick for a place that burned down a long time ago
Because I still keep your love letters in my jean pockets to remind me that someone loved me at one point, even if you forgot
I guess it’s because I haven’t been able to smile at another boy without comparing them to your eyes or your smile or the way you made me feel safe when things got bad again
You were the first place I ever visited that made me want to come back and the first body I’ve ever fit so well with, now I’m just a puzzle piece mixed in with a different picture
You painted me into sunsets and rose fields and loved me so much I began to think maybe I didn’t have to hate myself forever
Because seasons change and feelings weather away and disappear somewhere inbetween crowded hallways and stale glances
I guess it’s because I can’t hold your hands so I dig mine so deep into my pockets my fingertips start to ache
Because we almost made it, we almost had it, almost almost almost
Maybe it’s because you are everything nice in the world while I am just smoke and white pills
Because I cut off my hair so maybe the hurt would go away and pretended I was not as lonely as I still am
I guess it’s because we realized the hurt was not pretty but I was willing to stay while you were halfway to another city
Because even though I was not your soul mate, you were mine and I will always love you more than I hate you, and I hate that

-R.J//Homesick for a Place That Never Existed// (via @boypoetic )

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BrettLawrie cup adjust by Jock Strap getting a hand full of jock

Tell me that there is still a place for me in your heart, in some deep dark corner.
Tell me that there are still times when you miss me
Tell me that there are places you wish you had visited with me
Tell me that if someday we meet, the hug won’t be an awkward handshake
Tell me that I should’ve used a when rather than an if in the above sentence
Tell me, someday, tell me
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BrettLawrie jock adjustment by Jock Strap “coach, you sure that new intern didn’t use a new soap…my jock has been itchin all game. 

He asked me why I didn’t close my eyes when I was laying in his arms and in that moment I had no answer. I just couldn’t close my eyes because my mind needed me to keep them open as a measure for self defense.
Now after months of fights and cold shoulders and silences and screams, I have an answer. I didn’t close my eyes around you because somewhere I knew you’d fool me and you did even with my eyes wide open
—  Thank you for the trust issues