it’s just like… i thought we were made for each other. i thought we were soul mates. i still think we are. i think i lost my soul mate and we were supposed to work out but we fucked it up. and you were my only soul mate and now i’m screwed.
You were a sheep in wolf’s clothing
all bark but no bite
all blade but no edge
all show but no follow through.
so how are you with her?
is it flowers or
missed calls? is it
going well or
not so much? is it
okay to ask or
would I not like the answer?
there’s no worst part to this.
i go to message you but I shouldn’t so I don’t.
there’s no poetic way to say I miss sending you inappropriate things during inappropriate times like
family dinners or
church. there’s no poetic way to say how much it hurts to always come out of the tunnel with empty hands and
you holding hers.
taken out of context I could love you– lily rain
i feel sorry for you. i feel sorry that you lost someone who loved you so much, someone who would have burned themselves alive just to show you how bright they could shine for you - you will never find someone else who loves you that much. you can search the seven seas but there will never be anybody who will love you more than me.
you just realized it too late, that i was something worth keeping. you let your insecurities eat at you, thought you didn’t deserve someone as kind and loving as me. and if you were right about one thing, it would be that - you were never enough for me. you never made me feel completely fulfilled. you always destroyed me, never made me better, always made me worse.
and i will find someone who loves me more than you did. i will find someone who would go to the ends of the earth for me, the way i would have done for you. i will find someone who puts me first the way i put you first. i will find someone who treats me the way i treated you.
but you’ll never find someone who loves you more than me. and you lost me and that’s devastating.
i guess it just hurts that i was practice. that you will love the next one more fiercely. that you will not do them wrong the way you hurt me. that you will be better at communicating. you will be better at asking for what you want instead of going behind peoples’ backs to get it. you have learned how to be honest. you have learned how to kiss, how to touch, how to make somebody feel wanted. you have learned what destroys a relationship and what keeps it going. and i guess it just hurts that i taught you how to love someone who isn’t me. i guess it just hurts that i was practice and now i’m nothing.