adelaide clemens

8

As I lay in bed last I thought about how many people have tried to help me along the way, have helped me, a few a whom are no longer alive. Way more people have tried to help me John, than have harmed me, the harm just seems to leave the deeper mark. Anyway, I’ve always felt such guilt that others were wasting their lives on me, that I was a waste that I was unworthy but last night I didn’t feel that guilt or that I was a waste. I didn’t necessarily feel worthiness but I did feel a kind of responsibility, I guess, at least a desire to try and not let you all down. Then I felt the smallest flicker of not wanting to let myself down, you know? Because somewhere in all this, I’ve managed at times to fight for myself for some reason, pride for my life for some reason. And I survived for some reason. And here I am, still for some reason. And me not knowing that reason doesn’t diminish it or invalidate it, or disprove it’s existence. And that’s what I’m going with today

8

I t ’ s  t h e  b e g i n n i n g  o f  t h e  l o n g e s t  d a y, the summer solstice. Sistere and sol, because the sun seems to stand still. We got through the night. My dear, it couldn’t have lasted forever. But you’re a good man. Very clever. Y o u ’ l l  m a k e  i t  t h r o u g h.

2

Rectify (2013-2016), 4 seasons, 30 episodes

“I’m not sure what to make of this drastic change of course in my life. I’m certainly not against it”

Rectify has consistently been one of the best shows on TV since it began airing in April 2013. It is also a show with ratings so small that finding other people who watch is always a struggle. Yet those who have given their time to seek out this series know how special it is. This is not a show based on big action scenes or twists intended to lure in audiences. This is a story about one man, one night 19 years previously and the ongoing repercussions. It is about moving on and finding purpose. It is about faith, forgiveness, justice, humanity, the very nature of who we are.  It is truly an unique show. I am going to miss it so much.