10. It’s 9am and the first thought in my crowded mind is you. But today will be better, I’m not going to think of you today. I will repeat this mantra until it becomes my only reality.
9.12pm and so far, your name has not touched my lips once. Forgive me, but I have to move on.
8. At 3pm, I allowed myself to think of you. Once. Just once. Maybe then, I will be able to let go.
7. It’s 5pm and I miss you.
6. 7pm I still miss you.
5. I’m craving you. But… I can’t. This is for the better. It’s 8:39pm I can make it without you.
4. It’s 9:45pm I think I’m losing…
3. 10pm You win.
2. I’ve been holding you for the past hour, drowning in my own tears. 11pm
1. I think I’m slowly self destructing. But it’s okay, is it really that bad if you get to choose your own fate? We’ll all go eventually. As I write this, your taste is in my mouth, your addicting tendrils grasping my thoughts and shoving them into compartment boxes. I said I’m drowning in my tears, but now I realize that I’d rather drown in you.
At 12:31am, I self destruct.
I take another swig of the drink in my hands.