addicted to the books even though it feels so

“You’re warm” “No reason” “It doesn’t bother me” “One more chapter” (Gray X Reader)

Requested by anon. Sorry for not posting yesterday, I was lazy and I just needed a day off. Enjoy!

Originally posted by jaywalkerzz

You hated it when you were sick, but what you completely despised is admitting it. You would just take antibiotics and pretent that everything was fine, while your nose runned and you sounded groggy. You would be dying from a fever but you would still swear everything was fine, you felt like if you admit it that it would get worse, which made no sense what so ever.

You thanked god you didn’t work today. You just laid on your bed, watched movies and ate soup with tea, scattering tissues everywhere and antibiotics on your night stand so they can be on stand by. You had just finished your soup when your phone rang, Seonghwa was calling.

“Hey babe”

“Hey”

You didn’t want to say too much, if he heard your vocie he would understand you were sick. So you decided to say the basics

“I am coming over your house are you there?”

“NO!…. I mean you can’t come”

Seonghwa frowned. Why were you suddenly acting like this? he found it very suspicious that you didn’t want him to visit you, but a few days ago you were sad because he didn’t have time for you

“Why?”

“Ummmm… no reason, you told me you have to finish a song”

“I did. I’m coming over”

The line went dead. You got up and started going around like a storm. Hiding the tissues, putting the dishes in the sink, hiding the pot on the stove so he won’t see it, placed the antibiotics in your drawer, opened the windows and hoped in the shower to get rid of the sick smell (y'all know exactly what i’m talking about)

When he got home, you hugged him acting like nothing happened. He hugged you back very tight, you felt very warm to him, warmer than usual

“You’re warm”

“I took a shower”

Your voice sounded different, it was groggy. You were about to pull away, but he got your wrist and turned you back to him, he placed a hand on your forehead. He could feel your skin burning, even though you pulled away quickly

“You’re sick”

“No I am not”

You sneezed. Seonghwa looked at you, with one eyebrow raised. You got busted

“Go to bed. Now”

You sighed. It was now pointless to fight, so you just put your head down in defeat and got to bed

———————-

“One more chapter”

“No”

He said and snatched your book from your hands. You loved reading books, but once you started you got addicted and you wanted to finish it as soon as possible.

“Yah! I’m here too you know”

He got under the covers and snuggled next to you. You tired to push him away, but he stuck to you like a magnet.

“You’ll get sick, and I feel awfull”

“It doesn’t bother me”

He whispered. You gave up and hugged him back, your fever was getting better, but you still felt like death

“I smell like sickness”

“You do, but it’s okay. You’ve slept next to me after I threw my guts up from the alcohol. Now we’re even”

this year so far i’ve realized that cultivating a life i’m proud of and happy with is a lot of small, daily, tiny efforts - small choices in diet and rest and sociability and how i spend my alone time. funny how reading books instead of endless news (or watching youtube) makes me feel better in the long run even though it’s not as easy! learning to choose cultivating wisdom and joy over easy consumption and addiction is hard! but worth it!

also: i’m better at boxing than i give myself credit for.

I knew it wasn’t going to work out. It ended before it ever began. But I just couldn’t force myself to stop trying even though you had given up ages ago. I was addicted to being denied by you. I was addicted to the pain because it was so much more satisfying than being numb.
—  itstheoddoneout

Books & Cupcakes September Book Photo Challenge - Day 8 - I Cried… A Lot.

These three books made me cry so hard I woke up the next day with my eyes so swollen I could barely see. And even though I put little post-its on them to remind me NOT to read them again cause of the pain they caused me, I always end up caving in and crying a lot again. Three of my favorites for sure. I guess I’m addicted to the feels.