add-more-ing

Choose love.

One of my girlfriends suggested I get into Gabrielle Bernstein a while ago and last week I read her book, Spirit Junkie, and loved every second of it. Yeah, yeah, it’s all about creating the life of your dreams and basically motivational speaker (as that’s what she now does!) but I guess I related to her because a lot of her story takes place when she’s my age (I don’t think she’s too much older now though).

She also has free podcasts to download on iTunes. I’ve downloaded them all and use them first thing in the morning now (to start my day off with positive intentions) and at night (to release anything that may have happened during the day).

I could go on and on but I might sound crazy. I just really enjoy her and her non-religious spirituality. It’s inspiring, and hopeful.

I just ordered her first book, “Add More -Ing,” online and until that arrives, I’m going to enjoy some chick lit with Laura Dave’s novel, “The First Husband.”

I was resolute in trying to read more this year (because I fell off the literary bandwagon in a major way last year) and so far it is going well. 

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The most common question I get in my workshops and lectures is, “How can I know the difference between my ego and my intuition?” My immediate response to is that we all have powerful intuition working through us at all times. {Tweet it} Our intuition is a kind, loving inner voice that guides us towards positive actions and peaceful outcomes. Often inspiration shows up as a strong knowing, a.k.a. a gut feeling. Sometimes intuitive guidance comes through as a powerful sense of inspiration or even a tingly sensation.

We all have this groovy inner guidance system but many of us disconnect from it. Watch this video for guidance on how to know the difference between the fear of your ego and the love of your inner guidance system. {Tweet it}

If you want to deepen your connection to your intuition a great resource is my book, Add More ~ing To Your Life, A Hip Guide to Happiness.

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The concept of slowing down often seems alluring—but it can also be really trippy for people. Why? Simple: These days, everything is fast. Technology has our heads spinning. Don’t get me wrong: living a fast-paced life isn’t a bad thing (and it’s somewhat unavoidable in New York). But running on high speed all the time can make you feel overwhelmed. You not only end up getting less done, you feel tense and anxious.

Paradoxically, the secret to speeding up and getting more done is simply to slow down. I’m not saying you should renounce the world and meditate all day—but I am suggesting that you clear space to access your inner power. When you do that, time will seem to expand, and you’ll accomplish more. In this video I share tools that will greatly help you redirect your energy and learn to heighten an inner sense of power to let your outer life grow, expand and flow. Watch now.

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For many months I’ve been on an international speaking circuit teaching lessons from my new book,Miracles Now. In each of my talks, my primary message is to Be the Light. In today’s blog I share one of the lectures from this tour when I taught at the Wanderlust Festival in Squaw Valley. Surrounded by mountains, I offer lessons from my own spiritual path and guidance on how to step into the light.

In this talk I share my personal story of how I reconnected to the love and light within me. Amma the hugging saint once said, “When an eggshell cracks from the outside it’s crushed. When it cracks from the inside a being is born.” {Tweet} We all have the capacity to crack open and be reborn.

The guidance I offer in this talk will remind you of your hidden power, realign you with your purpose and turn you into a magnet for miracles. My hope is that this talk inspires you to bring forth the light within you so that you can elevate the world. Watch this lecture and expect Miracles Now.

If you bring forth what is within you,
what you bring forth will save you.
If you do not bring forth what is within you,
what you do not bring forth will destroy you.

– Jesus

Related posts:
How to live in the light.
You are a lightworker.
Fear holds us in a headlock… Here’s how to get out.

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50 Ways By Which You can Live a Better Life

Sometimes being a grown-up is, well, boring. Yes, you should pay your bills, make your deadlines, and clean your apartment, but make sure to leave time to be a little silly and have fun. “Even jumping on your bike for an afternoon ride with friends will make you feel more carefree,” says Gabrielle Bernstein, author of Add More -Ing to Your Life: A Hip Guide to Happiness. Here are some ways to live a better life.

  1. Don’t pop your pimples. You can scar your face, and it takes longer for the inflammation to go down. This may not be realistic advice if you look like Rudolph the morning of your big interview, but taking care of them once they show up is the wrong way to deal with them. The American Academy of Dermatologists recommends using a wash that includes salicylic acid or benzoyl peroxide. Combat the blemish before it shows up and you’ll never have a morning surprise again. Over the counter products don’t seem to help? Go see a dermatologist, they’re not just for teenagers. Adult acne can require different methods of treatment than your teenage acne needed.
  2. A man always uses the right tools for the job. In the case of grooming, you shouldn’t be ashamed of using $10 face lotion or $15 hair goop. That doesn’t mean you have to go around telling all your friends, but you should be proud to use grooming products you think are quality, worth the price and do what you’re looking for.
  3. Get better service everywhere you go. Skip the formalities of talking to a stranger and trick yourself into being more friendly by pretending that you know the person. Think about those greetings you give and the faces you make when you’re happy to see someone you know. Do that, but with a stranger.
  4. How to properly use most hair pomades, gels, etc. Towel dry your hair when you get out of the shower, put a small amount of the stuff in your hands and rub them back and forth 10 times. Rub it into your hair, style loosely and let dry. Once dry, finish styling with your fingers. This helps avoid “hard hair” or a shiny finish.
  5. Make your body grooming upkeep much easier, get a body groomer. I’ve got a Norelco Bodygroom and recommend it.
  6. The easiest way to pull off the casual tie? With a sweater.
  7. Be attractive like Don Draper. Work on your confidence.
  8. Want to start dressing better? When you don’t know what to wear in the morning the default should be a button up shirt. You should chooseto wear a t-shirt for a reason.
  9. Every guy should shave his head at least once in his life. You won’t know if you look good unless you try it.
  10. Every guy should let his hair grow past his ears at least once in his life. Similarly, most of us have had a version of the same hair cut our entire lives. Have the courage to let it grow out and try something different.
  11. How to get the haircut you want: Be as specific and descriptive as possible. “Like I have it but shorter” doesn’t help much, since hair can change shape and texture when growing out. Instead, say, “My last cut was 2 months ago, I’d like to take about an inch and a half off all over, and make it look like it’s grown in a few weeks.” Going for something really specific? Find a picture of a guy who has what you want and take it with you.
  12. Keep those nails cut. Next time you’re on the toilet for 5-10 minutes, skip your next round of Angry Birds and use the time for grooming your finger and toe nails. The goal is to maintain a thin white line at all times.
  13. Style doesn’t have to be expensive; I don’t think I’ve ever spent more than $50 on jeans. Know what you’re looking for, find a cheaper alternative, then buy them when they’re on sale. But, if finer denim is important to you, don’t feel bad in investing in that either, just like #2.
  14. There’s no excuse for not flossing at least 5 times a week. Pick up a flosser if you need a way of making it easier.
  15. The American Dental Association doesn’t specify whether to floss first or brush first, but it does say flossing first allows the fluoride in toothpaste to better reach between teeth.
  16. Which body wash should you buy? Whichever one is on sale, unless you have specifics you like (see #2). All that stuff works pretty much the same way. I avoid body wash whose normal price is cheaper, since I find it doesn’t lather as well or go as far. So, whichever one of the more name brand / expensive options is on sale, go for that.
  17. Going through a tough break up? Make it easier on yourself: delete her number from your phone, block her on Facebook, get her out of your life. If you can’t even do that, you’ll never move on. More here.
  18. You know that feeling you get when you’ve finished dressing and you know you look good? You should strive for that feeling every time you dress. Those times where you look at yourself in the mirror and you’re not sure something matches correctly? Trust yourself, it probably doesn’t.
  19. Prevent collar curl. If your shirt has collar stay inserts, make sure to put them in before you leave the house. Always take them out before you wash and iron.
  20. You’re not living up to your full potential–and you know it. Think about your goals,  (You have goals right?), break them down into smaller milestones, and figure out what the next step is.
  21. Worried about your thinning hair? Give it more volume by blow drying it.
  22. Save that pretty face. Every guy should use lotion on his face after washing it in the morning. There’s nothing un-manly about taking care of yourself. It’ll help you look less tired, and you’ll thank me in 20 years. Find a moisturizer developed for the face like Every Man Jack’s Face Lotion.
  23. A guy should always have a blazer he can wear with jeans. Most times a suit jacket won’t work, you need something shorter. Try a pattern like herringbone.
  24. Different scents for different events. Consider having a fresh, light cologne for the daytime and work hours, and a more full-bodied scent for evenings and going out.
  25. The proper way to put on cologne: Hold your arm straight out and spray towards your chest. You only need one, two tops. Don’t spray it into the air and walk into it; that smelly water is expensive and this method wastes most of it. If you’ve got a bottle with no spray, apply small dabs under your ears and to your wrists.
  26. Never say “Nice to meet you.” Ever been in one of those awkward situations where someone introduces you to someone else, you say, “nice to meet you,” and then it turns out you’ve met them 3 times before? Instead, always say, “Nice to see you,” or my personal go-to, “Hey, how are you?”  An even better alternative is to get specific depending on the occasion. “Thanks for coming,” or “Thanks for having us.
  27. And, while you’re there, ask them for some solutions if you’re affected by outbreaks on your back. Some simple phone calls and quick consults can get you on the path of not being embarrassed to take your shirt off.
  28. Carry a pocket knife. You’ll be absolutely surprised how often you’ll use it. I recommend a Victornox Swiss Army knife. From opening boxes, tightening screws, to getting a splinter out with the tweezers, they always come in handy. Remember before you got a smart phone you wondered if you really needed it? And now that you have one, you could never go back? You’ll feel the same way about a pocket knife.
  29. The next time you have private access to your significant other’s closet, mark down their sizes for a few of their favorite shirts, dresses, shoes, bras and underwear. Ring size may be useful eventually.
  30. A few years ago it was common to wear your jeans a little too long to the point that the bottoms got walked on and frayed. It was cool at the time, but jean style has moved on to a more fitted look. If you haven’t yet, you should. No more frayed wide leg jeans.
  31. Have a big date after work and no time to go home to freshen up? There are several new products on the market just for this dilemma. Keep the jungle less swampy with Fresh Balls, a cream; or Dry Goods, a spray. The standard bearer, and super cheap option is Gold Bond, but the scent can leave something to be desired, especially if getting intimate is in the plan.
  32. Always have one spare birthday card and one spare multi-purpose card for emergencies.
  33. Rejection is just an emotion. Learn to not take it personally or you’ll never be as successful as you want to be.
  34. Dark or patterned underwear will mask ”normal wear and tear.”
  35. Unless your doctor has told you otherwise for some reason, pick up a bottle of multivitamins. With our fast paced food culture, it’s easy to miss out on the essentials.
  36. You’re doing the woman you love a real disservice if you haven’t convinced her of the benefits of ordering a steak less than medium-well.
  37. Don’t fall into the trap of buying something because it’s heavily on sale. A $600 suit marked down to $250 still means you have to spend $250.
  38. If you haven’t called your mom in a week then you don’t have time to catch up on the DVR.
  39. If you haven’t called your best friend in a month then you don’t have time to play video games.
  40. It only costs $30 to replace your entire underwear collection. Why are you forcing yourself to wear ratty skivvies from who knows how long ago? For the cost of one round of mixed drinks, everyday can be nice underwear day.
  41. Moderation is good. In moderation.
  42. You can make someone’s day with a single sentence. Why would you not?
  43. White athletic socks should only be worn with athletic shoes.
  44. Never split the check on a first date.
  45. Lost or forgot your collar stays? Use a set of large paperclips. (hat tip)
  46. You have to stop worrying you’re going to offend someone and reallygo for it. The worst case is you lose something you never really had, the best case is you get what you want.
  47. When you’ve met the right person you’ll know. If you don’t know, you haven’t.
  48. What can you learn if you’re the smartest or most experienced person in the room? Find a smarter room.
  49. If you wake up one morning and you’re fat because you can’t get yourself to go to the gym, don’t give up. You may just hate going to the gym. Instead try interval sprinting, pick up a recreational sport (kickball is popular these days), or find a park with a jungle gym. Think about other gym alternatives like getting a kettlebell and a $15 pull-up bar.
  50. The right boot can be the perfect “in between” dress shoe. I have a pair of Dakota Mid-Laces by Frye and love them. They look great casual,business casual, and smart casual.

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