“So what are you?”

The question which plagued my childhood in suburban Kansas; the ponderance of which led me towards years of agonizing identity searching; the answer to which I still hesitate to deliver.

“So what are you?”

It is an innocent question; one I know I am not alone in hearing the echoes of. But what do I say? “I’m mixed” is the short answer, but it always leads to the question of “With what” so do I say “My mom is white and my dad is brown” but brown isn’t usually specific enough so do I say “my mom is white and my dad’s Pakistani” but that doesn’t flow right because white is a race and Pakistani is a nationality so do I say “my mom’s American and my dad’s Pakistani” but that isn’t true because my dad was born in Canada and he’s lived here his whole life and American sure as hell doesn’t mean white I mean my dad IS American so do I say “My mom’s a white American and my Dad’s Pakistani American” but that just sounds like I’m trying too hard so that’s out of the question and so do I just drop it and leave it at “none of your business” but that’s rude and it’s really such a simple question so what in the hell do I freaking say?

“So what are you?”

It’s a good question, really… why don’t you tell me? I am the alienation that I feel when my mom’s family talks about how dangerous those Muslim immigrants are over dinner and I am the strange sinking feeling in my stomach which occurs when my cousins tell me that whatever I’ve just done is haraam. I am the frustration which clouds me when people around me doubt that I am what the hell I say I am. I am the product of the millisecond long stares of confusion people give me when I tell them the pale as china blonde lady I’m with is my mother and the looks of disgust I get when I, the young, doll eyed light skinned girl, go out to dinner late at night with a big burly middle aged brown man, aka my father. I am the three and a half years it took me to decide what to call the pigmentation of my skin.

I am the sadness which clouds me when one of my Aunties asserts how lucky I am to be so fair skinned. I am the anger I feel each and every time I think about the people who called my full and plump Desi lips fat as a kid and now use copious amounts of lip liner to accentuate their tiny mouths on Snapchat. I am the hours of hoping and praying during and after shootings that it wasn’t a Muslim. I am the incredible lengths I go to, the precise and complex knowledge I feel I must have of my roots in order to truly claim my heritage. I am neither and I am both and I hate it.

“So what are you?”

I can’t stand here and tell you that it is all bad. That would be I lie, for I am also the cool, smooth feeling of the bronze crucifix which sits on one side of my bedroom wall and the sentiment of the words “Allah most merciful” written in beautiful Arabic script on the other. I am my large French hazel eyes and my thick and wavy South Asian hair, my favorite of my features.

I am the pride I feel as I trace my thumb over the intricate embroidery on one of my anarkalis and the anticipation I feel for Christmas as I help line my grandmother’s fireplace with garland. I am the rhythmic clanking of my bangles as I dance to bhangra music at a cousin’s wedding and the clicking of tongues by a sizzling grill as my grandpa flips our burgers during a Sunday night barbeque. I am the flavorful and savory taste of pulao my father makes and the creamy texture of mashed potatoes on Thanksgiving. I am the Maybelline mascara I coat my eyelashes with and the kajal I used to line the edges of my eyes. I am the flavorant meeting of two cultures melting in an incredible country in which such a thing is even possible.

“So what are you?”

God, but what am I thinking? I’m Jackie. I am the impending messiness that is my bedroom. I am my inability to fall the hell asleep before eleven o’clock at night. I am my love for all things fashion and glamour. I am my obnoxiously large collection of makeup. I am my hideous shedding of tears each and every time Spock dies in the Wrath of Khan.

I am my intense love for horror movies and my struggle to move in the dark for two days after watching them. I am my passion for music and Michael J. Fox and Kanye West and my unrequited love for Zayn Malik. I am my collection of records and of 32 scarves which I never wear, my brown riding boots, my belting of Christmas carols in the middle of July, my irrational hatred of algebra, my inability to sleep without my phone being on its charger, the Toll House cookie dough I eat straight from the bag and the four Beatles posters I have hanging in my room.

I am the scent of Aussie conditioner and my clumsy, spacy nature; my obsession with the Kennedys, my adamant love for Diet Dr Pepper, losing myself in my daydreams, my extreme extroversion and procrastination of literally everything, my weakness for Reese’s peanut butter cups, my A to Z knowledge about Mick Jagger, my ever changing mind. I am my dreams and I am my fears and and I am my tenacity and I am my mistakes and my courage and my insecurities and my abilities and my hope … I am so much and yet I am so little. I am me. I am unapologetically and beautifully me.

“So what are you?”

I am Jacqueline Renee and I am what I am and no answer that I give you to this question will make what I am any different.

list of people i want to fight:

1. kathleen kennedy
2. george lucas
3. adam driver
4. kathleen kennedy
5. the idiot who decided to not include lead star, hero and main character John Boyega in the poster
6. the dumbass who decided to only include 3 secs of lead star, hero and main character John Boyega in the trailer
7. kathleen kennedy


The legacy has to be an enormous burden. Who would want to be in a position of having to live your life with the feeling that if you didn’t become President of the United States, and fulfil all of these enormous hopes that had been raised by your brothers, who never had a chance to fulfil them, that people would judge your life? Or you might judge yourself to be a failure? I can’t conceive of a greater or more difficult burden to carry. - Adam Walinsky

Whenever Sandler plays a man-child (like his character in Pixels), he almost always does a piss-poor job with it. Billy Madison, Happy Gilmore, Little Nicky, The Waterboy: some of those movies might be good, but Sandler’s performance isn’t. But Pixels was especially grating because Adam Sandler is now an old man, so it’s more painful when he tries to act like a big kid. Twenty years ago, it was alright for Sandler to pull his “I don’t want to grow up. I want to get drunk and cause funny havoc!” shtick. Now, at fifty, whenever he tries it, all you can say is “Yeah, that’s cool, but where are the bodies?

That’s why he should stop doing that and only play actual adults from now on, and not just people that are adults in the sense that they have more pubic hair than the rest of the cast. And also because he’s really good at it, like in Hotel Transylvania where he voices Count Dracula being overprotective of his daughter.

There is real nuance to his performance there. While he is alone with his daughter, he’s sweetness itself, especially when he’s teaching her to turn into a bat and becomes so beautifully giddy after she succeeds. But there’s always this under-layer of fear and dread in his voice because he doesn’t want her going out into the human world where his wife was MURDERED. The scene where he talks about the night it happened is absolutely gut-wrenching. It’s leaps and bounds above anything where his main character descriptor is “Shouts at Rob Schneider.”

5 ‘Bad’ Actors Who Do One Thing Incredibly Well

Rey and Ben Solo

So, “Reylo” isn’t just a passing hope, it is canon. Have you seen the movie and read the book? Right there in color, black and white. Seriously, how do you miss all the blind obviousness of this story? Is it just me? The siblings separated thing has already been done. To me, if they do that again it will be a bit disappointing.

It is Star Wars, there is always a love story. Padme met and fell in love with Anakin before he fell to the darkside and became Darth Vader. Love for his son saved him. The new trilogy is the story from another side…Ben fell to the darkside and became Kylo Ren and falls for Rey who’s love for him will save him. Classic SW.  If you have seen the original trilogy (SW, TESB, ROTJ)  then you are aware of the legacy of this franchise. The prequels were an out right love story in the middle of a war.

Other then both Daisy Ridley and J.J. Abrams saying Rey is not a Solo or Skywalker respectively, (she almost seems aghast as I am at times with people’s obsession of who her character is) and the fact that J.J. isn’t into supporting incest, the whole interrogation scene was the biggest clue. There is in no way the unmasking of Kylo Ren would have been such a huge center of the movie, the focus of their faces, the meticulousness spent on how Adam Driver looked when the mask came off (kissable full lips, intensely dangerous eyes, and of course, perfectly styled hair) if he was merely a cousin. He looked like some seductive dark prince. There is something they are clearly saying with this whole strange scene.

In the novel, Kylo, after eerily watching her in her force induced slumber for quite more than a few minutes, makes it abundantly clear that he doesn’t wish to hurt her, that she was his guest, not a prisoner, but he still has a job to do: “You know I can take whatever I want” the look on his face, a bit suggestive as he gently began to penetrate her mind. There was something in her mind he found that interested him, that he planned on investigating at another time, however they both felt….something. “Don’t be afraid…I feel it too”.

Kylo made sure no one could have access to her but him. He clearly treats her differently than the other prisoners by interrogating her himself and forgoing the beforehand pre-screen beatings that was administered to others including Poe Dameron. He wouldn’t even let the stormtroopers drag her unconscious body to the command shuttle, no. He took it upon himself to carry her across the forest, for who knows how long, in front of everyone, to take her himself. (Not to mention Lucasfilm-approved romanticized art work for sale at Celebration of the “bridal carry” scene. If they are related….ewww. ) Then there is his clear embarrassment of not getting the droid and Hux pointing out Kylo’s personal gains getting in the way of the main objective. In the novel, Snoke accuses Kylo of showing “compassion for the girl” and says that it is not her that is the problem why Kylo fails, it is his own weakness. Like a love-sick adolescent, Kylo quickly denies it “What? For an enemy of the First Order, never. She’s stronger then she knows!”

He really didn’t want to hurt her in the snow battle, either. Regardless of the fact that he force threw her into a tree, he wasn’t planning on killing her. He was unhinged after she escaped, he murdered his father to both prove his loyalty to Snoke and to make himself stronger in the dark side, (which actually left him feeling weaker) and now Rey was trying to shoot him. Not to mention she was hanging out with the traitor. Kylo still offered for her to basically go away with him and let him teach her the ways of the force.

Adam Driver is an excellent actor and very expressive with his eyes and face. There is no way that his dark intensity while interrogating, and looks of pure surprise and infatuation when the lightsaber flies into Rey’s hand, was not intentional. There was no anger in his face, just pure  fascination. “It is you” he says in the novel at this point. J.J. explains Rey and Kylo are “two desperate pieces coming together” and will have a “very interesting” story going forward. There is a reason Kathleen Kennedy wanted Adam for this role. She just knew he would absolutely kill it. Not too sure how else the writers could make their intentions more clear.

Also the whole “seeing Rey as a victim of abuse” is just ridiculous. To see Rey as a victim is a put down to a very strong feminine character who was able to turn the tables and “abuse” Kylo right back. In Takodana, Kylo points out to Rey that she initiated the violence. “You shot first” and later seeing in her mind that “you still want to kill me” He never wanted to hurt or kill her. She had no problem gaining her own strength, on her own, and kicking his ass in the end. The voice in her head in the book (Snoke?) was telling her to kill Kylo. She definitely has some dark side in her to deal with. She is no victim and it is a shame that anyone would see her as such or see her as somehow abused. If anyone is the victim of abuse in this tale, it is Ben Solo by Snoke.

Kylo’s feelings may be one-sided for now, but trust me, if he starts the next movie with an extreme outward hated for her, it will be only because she beat him in a fight and made him look weak. He would dedicate himself to finish his training under Snoke in hopes of finally extinguishing what is left of the light in himself. If Rey came to him at any point and decided to take him up on his offer, he would change his feelings in a heart beat. Like it or not, he may be the only person that ends up being truthful to her. Which ever way the story goes, Rey will not fall in love with Kylo Ren, she will fall for Ben Solo. In the novel, in her force vision, Rey saw Ben, as a little boy, with evil (Snoke) creeping around his aura, foreshadowing of her future endeavor.

Then there is Leia, who has lost so much to this endless battle. She has lost her home planet, adoptive parents, biological parents, her brother is missing, and her husband, so yeah, one of the main focuses of the movie is the redemption of Ben (Skywalker) Solo. Anyone who thinks otherwise, like I said before, doesn’t understand the franchise in the first place. Grandchildren of Skywalker and Kenobi would be the perfect balance. It is the way it started. The writers are doing a fantastic job with the story telling, even if some can’t see what is right in front of them.

Daisy recently saying the answer to her parentage is in TFA. A big clue is her loneliness, J.J. has stated before. It pretty much is right there in the force-back. She sees Kylo kill a fellow Knight of Ren to perhaps save her life, sees him as a boy and knows he will be part of her future. At the same time, we hear Obi Wan Kenobi (at one time, he was old lonely Ben the hermit) guiding her “Rey, these are your first steps”.


anonymous asked:

"So you don't believe me?" Casually hands Ryuji a PryStation4 and the aforementioned video game aptly titled 'Purse Owner 5'. "Help yourself. Everything is free of charge so long as people know the truth."



“Heck the main guy’s name is Adam Kennedy here! Just what kinda crap are you trying to pull here!?” Believe it or not he’s going to go play this anyways.