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A thought occurs to me:

Please, if you will, picture Assistant District Attorney Clint Barton when he encounters his first case of “distracted driving – playing the pokemon game.”

He squints at the copy of the ticket (a digital scan that perfectly captures the officer’s chicken-scratch handwriting), confused. He tilts his head left and right, not necessarily because he’s not heard of this new Pokemon bullshit (of course he’s heard about it, Wade posts daily Facebook updates about his latest catches, Tony and Miles keep competing to find the rare ones), but because people don’t actually play while driving. Right? ‘Cause he’s not exactly a saint in the driver’s seat, either, but playing a location-based game in traffic’s gotta be the dumbest

He says all this at lunch, of course, and Tony laughs hard enough that he almost hurts himself.  “How else am I supposed to clean out all the Pokestops in the neighborhood?” he demands, raising his hands when Bruce shoots him a dirty look. “Not with the kids in the car. Miles already declared that a party foul.”

“Please tell me that’s not the only reason,” Natasha mutters.

Tony waves her off, and Clint just stares at him. Except gaping over at Tony’s side of the table means noticing the way Bucky and Steve keep avoiding his eyes. He groans. “Not you! You’re supposed to be the voices of reason!”

Steve pinks up immediately. “We’re not proud of it,” he defends. “We just grew up on Pokemon, you know?”

“Gotta catch ‘em all,” Bucky agrees. The way he says it, it sounds like the end of a prayer.

Clint rubs a hand over his face. “It’s like we’re in some fucked-up alternate reality where I’m the only mature adult in the bunch,” he mutters.

Natasha pats his leg. “Don’t worry,” she soothes. “The next season of House of Cards will drop soon. Give you something to watch in the car.”

Everybody’s heads snap up in creepy unison, and Clint sighs.

He hates everything. 

Happy Birthday, Miles!

I almost forgot arguably the most important birthday in the MPU. Thank goodness I remembered! Anyway, March 22, 2016 will be Miles’s sixteenth birthday. And because my MPU headcanon is now and always shall be that the high school years are tough on Miles, well, this story reflects that. Meaning: feels. Many feels. Arguably all the feels? We’ll see.

With all that in mind: happy birthday, Miles!

On his sixteenth birthday, Miles wakes up and stares at the glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling, exactly the same as every other morning.  Even when he stretches, his body sort of reassembling after being balled up under the covers, he feels unremarkable.  Same height, same speed, same brain full of the same crap (assignments, projects, his stupid text conversation with the girl he sort of likes).  Sixteen feels like fifteen and fourteen, and he drags himself into the bathroom before Amy and her eight thousand hair ribbons claim it.

Keep reading

archiveofourown.org
MPU One-Shot: "Don't Tell Your Dad"

“Don’t Tell Your Dad (Or: Four Times Miles Kept a Secret, and One Time He Didn’t Have To)”
Motion Practice Universe One-Shot
Bruce Banner/Tony Stark, Miles Morales, Dot Barnes
Rated PG-13 for themes; 2,284 words

Tony’s not the best at crisis management.

Miles learns this the hard way.

Written in honor of Miles’s birthday, which in the MPU is March 22. Happy birthday, Miles!

notsimmonsintheskye  asked:

Prompt #4: not sure if this will fit into a Drabble, but Bruce, Tony and Miles go to a fair thing and have cute family fun.

It’s like the most disgusting all-American outing ever, the freaking state fair, full of dusty children and rusted carnival rides and games that only Clint (the freak) manages to beat (every damn time). It’s humid, everything’s triple-fried for maximum heart attack effectiveness, and Tony should hate every single secod of it.

Except he loves it.

He eats funnel cake from between Bruce’s fingers and loses twenty bucks on a ring-toss game and rides a rickety coaster and cons his kid into face paint, and it’s awesome.

The American dream is bullshit, he sometimes thinks—but never when he’s living it.

Sunday six.

Chain of Custody, Chapter 1: “ [no working title] ”

“About what that just happened?” When Bruce narrows his eyes, Tony raises his hands. “What? It’s an honest question. Because if I’m getting the third degree about something I did or didn’t do—”

“Tony.”

“—it’s only fair that you give me a hint.” Bruce frowns. “Okay, not a hint. Number of syllables? Language of origin? Something?”

Chain of Custody, Chapter 2: “ [ no working title ] ”

Bruce pauses halfway up the stairs that lead into Castle Rock Middle School, and he stares at the other man for a few seconds before he points out, “Now might not be the best time to discuss this, Tony.”

Tony shrugs. “No time like the present.”

“I’d prefer saving it for a present when our son’s not in trouble at school,” Bruce replies.

MPU One-Shot: “Duty of Candor”

“Good news is that there’s no press around the building yet,” Barton reports, trailing them into Nick’s office. Nick tosses Phil a glance, and Phil shrugs noncommittally. “I sent a text out to everybody but Stark, warned them to be on the lookout.”

Nick leans against his desk and crosses his arms over his chest. “Stark’s the one the media loves to poke with a stick,” he points out.

“Yeah, and Bruce’ll keep him from running his mouth,” Barton counters.

And, because I find it hilarious, here is today’s DoC screenshot:

My goal is to have the next posting schedule for the MPU up early this week. I need to see how far I get on DoC before I can set a date for it–and if I need to split it into two parts.

Also, in re: the nameless PR person, I’ve picked someone based on your suggestions! One suggestion allowed me to expand my original plan for the scene to include some quality Tony Stark time (Tony Stark: a man who is a thorn in your side but always means well), so I’m going with that. No, I’m not telling you who, it’s a surprise.

And proof that I am an idiot, my list of “people I’ve used” failed to include Janet VanDyne, who (along with Hank Pym) is mentioned as a former Suffolk County ADA during Motion Practice. I may have too many characters. Maybe.