actually turned out alright

Being Bruce’s S/O and Getting Kidnapped HCs

Because we’re all disgusting sadists and I obviously have issues. Trigger warning for kidnapping, torture, and some cruel language from the kidnapper’s side … I have a lot of problems …

  • Bruce has a crapton of enemies, even without the members of his Rogues Gallery being taken into consideration
    • From the nameless thugs to the morally bankrupt dirty cops to the monstrous traffickers, everyone wants to take down the Bat of Gotham
    • But for Bruce, it’s a nearly entirely different crowd…
    • Overzealous competitors and enemies of Wayne Industries, people who just want to slander his name to detrimental effect, people who’ve never met even met Bruce yet have an intense obsession with his existence that could easily tread into murderous territories, even a few villains from his moonlighting job who simply want to take a crack at the Prince of Gotham
      • Of course, being that Bruce is a taller-than-average guy with pretty decent coverage, there aren’t many opportunities that can be taken to kidnap him
    • You, on the other hand…
    • You, the significant other of one of the richest men in not only Gotham, but the entire world, the one people liken to Cinderella, who still keeps an apartment in the city as well as the humble job they’d had even before dating the billionaire… You’re easy pickings

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Just havin’ a moment…

Comic by @nintoonerart

Voices by Me!

Tried something a lil’ different with Dedede’s voice. It’s kinda silly, but I was trying mimic the quacking he does in Smash Bros. and translate that into actual speech. Hope it turned out alright!


Jeongguk x Puma shots for @jeon-gguk

insp (x)

Tyler Seguin #1

A/N: my first tyler imagine!!! woo!!! hope you all liked it :) requests are open 

Word Count: 2,165

Originally posted by flyersphiladelphia

You never expected for any NHL players to attend the party you were throwing, let alone spend half the night with one by your side. It all started with him opening up the fridge and stealing one of your beers. Next thing you knew, you were sitting on his lap in the living room and smiling down at him.

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hazelestelle  asked:

Hello <3 Firstly, I love your blog! And then: Omg, pole dancing Tony! I love this headcanon (partly because I also do pole dance :D I just started about a year ago, so I'm not very good yet...), amd omg, I would love you forever if you wrote a story about it :)

Hi and welcome, my fellow pole dancer! Hey, a year is already a long time and I’m sure you’ve already come very far! It gets easy to become so fixated on all the new moves you’re just learning or still can’t do, but remember when you first started and all you really did was walk around the pole? Even that felt so awkward! Or maybe that was just me xD 

Anyways, there is more to come (eventually) since pole dancer!Tony is not something I can see losing interest in any time soon, but for now I’ll hope this little titbit will satisfy! It’s basically a ‘how it all started’ ficlet. Enjoy :)

It was all Rhodey’s fault. Well, and maybe sort of Tony’s, in a tiny, utterly negligible way, but that isn’t important. The point is, Tony’s lost a stupid bet and his best friend is an asshole, and that’s the only reason he’s even here, attending a first time pole dancing lesson. Really. It’s not like he’s been whining to Rhodey about wanting to try it for the past two years, absolutely not. 

It’s… weird.

It’s weird because he’s very aware that in a class of eleven people, he’s the only guy–though their trainer, a tall woman with wild, black curls and a strict, no non-sense attitude has assured him that there are a couple of other men training at their studio, all in different classes–and it’s just odd. 

Nobody is being rude though and Tony ruthlessly squashes the urge to fiddle with the hem of his top. He really needs to get a hold of himself. There’s no reason to be weird about this. Also, the fact that he’s about to learn how to pole dance

And nope, that not excitement, that’s apprehension, thank you very much.

They start with a simple introduction, names, dance experiences, reasons for showing up here. Their trainer–Eve–explains some of the basics around pole dance, the studio and a couple of things for their own security. (Like, you know, don’t climb up that pole and do one of those upside down turns you’ve seen on TV without a mat, instructions or prior experience.) Then the actual lesson starts.

“Alright!” Eve calls out eventually, turning up the volume of the hi-fi equipment as she goes. “Everybody grab a yoga mat please!”

They start with a warm-up routine, a mixture of stretch and Kraft-exercises, that dearly reminds Tony how out-of-shape he really is–and it’s only been the first twenty minutes. Still, he builds an instant kinship with the strawberry blonde girl on the pole right next to his, who starts cursing softly under her breath after the third push-up, and they both exchange breathless grins over Eve’s sharp counting.

By the time they are told to put the mats away, Tony can’t deny that he’s genuinely looking forward to trying some real stuff out–and to the water that Eve regularly reminds them to drink.

And really, it’s a lot more fun than Tony expected. They don’t do anything really impressive, rationally he knows that. Which makes total sense because it becomes obvious immediately that none of them where lying–they all don’t have a clue what they’re doing. But that makes the moves Eve shows them all the more fun, the secure knowledge that you aren’t the only one who keeps stumbling and grips the pole with the wrong hand.

It’s mostly dance steps around the pole with little twirls at this point, as well as a crash course in climbing a pole the right way. It’s a lot harder than it sounds. You have to use not just your hands but also your underarms to keep a stable hold, and- 

“Don’t forget to stretch your feet!” Eve reminds them for the up-tenth time. “Remember it looks much more elegant this way!”

The session ends with a few stretching exercises and a last round of Q&A–

“What clothes are the most practical?”

“How long does a lesson typically last?”

“Is it possible to have more than one lesson a week?”

–before Eve asks them to please sign up for the course if they are interested in continuing. Swallowing, Tony stares at the piece of paper being passed around, flashes of What will Rhodey say and Am I really doing this passing through his mind.

But when Strawberry-Blonde hands him a pen, Tony doesn’t even hesitate to sign his name, a little shakily perhaps, but readable all the same.

He’s had a fun time and he’s gonna give this a shot, damn everyone else’s opinions. And if the thought of telling Howard about his newest hobby brings a brilliant smile on Tony’s face, well. That’s nobody’s business but his own.

Please let me know if you liked this little dose of pole dancer!Tony, especially if you have any headcanons or ideas for future drabbles with this concept! And, as always, have a wonderful day! <3

Btw, @hazelestelle I’m gonna cash in on that eternal love you’ve promised me at some point *cackles manically* ;)

2. See The Lies

My day so far: 

- Spent half an hour in between rain showers strolling through the Kingsday flea markets for a whiff of That Dutch Vibe and had the traditional orange pastry

- Finished a commission that’s been going back and forth for weeks, the final version somehow looks a lot like the first draft, which makes all the hours I put into it seem a bit silly. BUT HEY.

- Spent over three hours filing my taxes and figuring out if and why I have to pay so much

- It’s so much guys ugh. I mean, I have the money, but I also have a lot of other things I’d prefer to spend it on.

- I’m going to have to start setting aside some money every month so that next year I won’t be so overwhelmed

- Now let’s do something SUPER non-tax-related. Maybe play some Ori and the Blind Forest for a healthy dose of gorgeous colours and music.

Originally posted by usedpimpa


I reached a follower milestone not too long ago, so here’s a chibi crew thanking you guys!

Thank you! o(*^▽^*)o

This, uh, was not originally going to be a shitpost- 

"If You Can't Sleep..."

Shawn Mendes
Words ~ 1,300
Warning ~ This got surprisingly heated, but I wouldn’t count it as smut.
Note ~ I tried writing something from Shawn’s POV and it actually turned out alright.

The bed shifted again as Alex wiggled around to get comfortable, ending up with her head buried against my chest. I instinctively wrapped my arms around her waist, hoping she had finally found a position to fall asleep. But it wasn’t long until she was moving about again.

Cracking my eyes open, I watched as she sat up and kick the covers off her body. Faint moonlight leaked into the room, highlighting, well every good part about her; like the way her hair flowed down her back in messy waves, or the fact that the shirt -my shirt - she was wearing way too big for her and was practically falling off her.

Sitting up, I caught her hand before she had the chance to leave the bed, “Baby…”

Alex jumped at my voice, which made me chuckle. She was so adorable sometimes. Turning around to face me, her voice coming out weak, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“It’s alright.” I pulled her into me, my heart doing a little jump when she pressed a small kiss against my shoulder before rested her head in the same spot. Her body instantly relaxed into mine, “Is something wrong?”

Shaking her head, moving to look up at me. Her bare leg brushed against mine, sending a wave of tingles straight to a place that I shouldn’t be thinking about at three in the morning, “I just can’t sleep.” The frustration was clear in her voice.

“Well, if you can’t sleep, we could always have sex? That should tire you out.” I half joked, my heart did the jumping thing again as she shoved me in the chest playfully, giggling quietly. But the other half of was so up for the idea because she was seriously getting me all riled up.

And Alex must have sensed this as her hand ‘accidentally’ brushed somewhere very inappropriate. She failed at holding back her laughter. But all I focused on was the way she bit down on her bottom lip and how she looked up at me with wide eyes, in a sort of innocent way which didn’t help the situation.

Before I had the chance to do or say anything she was climbing onto my lap. An involuntary groan jumped from the back of my throat as she situated herself, the cute little smirk on her face told me she knew exactly what she was doing. I wasn’t going to stop her anytime soon.

Leaving a trail of warm kisses along my jaw, her hot breath sent shivers running through me as she whispered in my ear, “Do you want some help with your little problem?”

My mind went blank as her hips came alive against mine. I brought our mouths together in a very sloppy kiss as I tried my best to hold back the string of curses forming in my mouth, knowing my parents and Aaliyah where asleep down the hall. But when I felt her tongue lightly run along my bottom lip, I fell apart. She was normally never this confident with this kind of thing, but I wasn’t complaining one bit.

The hottest thing happened as my hands found themselves crawling up her shirt until they rested on her bare hips, muscles tensing as my fingers gently starched at her soft little stomach, making her moan in my mouth. Her hips jerked against mine as my hands kept higher. I smiled when I realised she wasn’t wearing a bra.

With one hand shoved in my hair, Alex lifted her hips from mine. At first I whined from the loss of contact, but she made up for it by intensifying the kiss. Her free hand tugged at my gym shorts, pulling them down far enough so they were out the way.

Moving away from the kiss completely, she sat back, lifting her arms above her head in a silent command. I complied, slowly peeling off the shirt leaving only her pajama shorts and underwear. My eyes scanned her newly exposed chest and stomach, something I rarely got to see.

“You’re so beautiful.” I whispered, my finger followed one of the longer scares running across her stomach. Instead of pulling away like she normally would, she just smiled and brought me back in for another kiss. It was much slower this time but still filled with just as much passion.

She broke away too soon. Her lips lingered close to mine, teasing me. I went in for another kiss, but all she did was nip my bottom lip, giggling when I let out a loud frustrated moan.

“Shhhh, we don’t want to wake your family.” Her voice came out all sexy and breathless, “I want to try something.”

Confused, I was about to ask her what she meant, but my words got stuck as she started popping hot little kisses down the front of my throat, and all the way down my chest and stomach. Her eyes caught mine as she reached the waistband of my boxers, pulling them down just like the shorts.

Another loud moan escaped as a surge of pleasure ran through my body. One of my hands tangled in her hair, while the other tugged harshly through mine, attempting to relieve some of the tension building up inside of me. Then she did something very good with her hand and I had to squeeze my eyes shut and bite my tongue to stop myself from being too loud.

But when I opened my eyes again I was lying in bed alone. Beams of sunlight filtered through the curtains into the slightly less familiar room. The loud sounds of the busy city outside quickly brought me to the conclusion that I wasn’t at home, but in fact staying at some hotel.

Sitting up, I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and was about to get up when the bathroom door opened. Steam poured out as Alex emerged, running a towel through her wet hair. Much to my disappointment she was already fully dressed in black jeans and a lose grey shirt.

“Good morning.” She smiled, her voice was way too cheerful. I will never understand how she can stay up till three in the morning editing videos and still wake up at six and not be grumpy.

Dropping the wet towel on the floor she sat on the bed next to me, but I wanted her closer. Grabbing her hips, she let out a small yelp as I dragged her onto my lap, bringing her in for a much-needed kiss.

Smirking knowingly, Alex pulled away and quickly slid off the bed, “You must have really enjoyed that dream.” I stared at her with wide eyes, “Shawn, you woke me up moaning, it wasn’t that hard to figure out.”

“Then why didn’t you help me.” I tried to sound cool, but the words came out more as a whine.

“Because you were sleeping and couldn’t consent to it.” She reasoned. Okay, fair point.

I went to grab her hand, but she just laughed and took another step back, “Baby, please.”

“Nope. Anyway, it’s your problem.”

“But you caused it.” I argued, but I already knew I wasn’t going to win this fight.

“Actually, your brain imagined it. I just so happened to be a part of it.” Alex shot back, “I’m going downstairs to grab breakfast with Andrew and Geoff. You have about half an hour to get off and get ready before you need to meet us. I’ll just tell them you slept in or something.”

Although I was tried to act mad, I could help but smile as she leaded in and gave me a surprisingly heated kiss before pulling back. Stunned, I sat and watched as she slipped on her shoes and shoved her phone into her bag before rushing out the door with nothing more than a quick 'I love you’.

As soon as the door slammed shut I slipped my hand under the covers and tried to recall the dream.