actually the worst lighting in the world

Pants on Fire - Kai Parker smut

There was a moment of silence as a thud upstairs was heard right above the dinner table, a few curse words followed after a yelp of pain. The chandelier shook a bit and I blushed as I looked back at my family.

I swallowed. “Will you excuse me?” I bit my lip and rushed upstairs, my palms sweaty. I specifically told Kai not to come over tonight. My grandparents were visiting and they knew, oh boy, did they know, about what a misbehaving disaster Kai Parker was.

I opened the door to my room and spotted Kai stuck in my window, his ankle smashed between the pane and the actual window.

I put my index finger against my mouth to get him to be quiet. I closed the door behind me and locked it, helping him in.

“What are you doing here?” I whispered, blushing as he took a long look of my whole body. I was wearing a fuzzy sweater and some old mom jeans.

The light in my room was rosy from the pink light bulb in my lamp and Kai smelled like cinnamon. It was cold outside so he was kind of shivering.

“Is it wrong to want to actually see you?” He smiled. “You know, your one word texts aren’t exactly the kind of consolation I expect after our night of intimacy.” He raised his eyebrows, referring to the oral we exchanged the last time we saw each other. “By the way, you’re possibly the worst texter in the world.”

“Will you shut up? My grandparents, who hate you might I add, are right down stairs.” I put my hand on his chest as he pulled me into his body.

“That’s why you wore this?” He poked fun at the sweater I got for Christmas last year. “I’m not complaining, it’s definitely soft.” He pushed my hair over my shoulder, the cool steel of his rings making me shiver. He pressed sweet wet little kisses on my chin and jaw, lightly on my neck.

“Kai.” I pulled away, my breath caught in my throat. “Seriously, you should go.” My knees nearly gave out at the crooked smile he gave me next.

“Let me guess, they think you’re a little saint, hmm?” He ran his thumb over my mouth, his fingers dancing on the sensitive flesh of my neck. “Ill bet they’ve never even heard you utter a single swear word.” He said.

I’ll admit that when I first met Kai, I was amused at how much character he had. Character that my parents definitely wouldn’t like and maybe that’s what intrigued me so much.

“Sweetie!” My mother’s heels woke me from my trance. My eyes opened and I jumped into action. “Is everything okay?” She knocked at my door and tried opening it. “You know I don’t like locked doors in my home.”

I pushed Kai into my bathroom and slammed the door, running over to the door and unlocking it. “Hey, mom, I’m fine. I just had a st-tomach ache.” I swallowed.

“What was that noise earlier?” She looked around my room, precisely at the half opened window. I blushed crimson. I knew that she knew.

“Oh, it was the cat. The dogs must have chased her out and got her caught in the tree and she came in through the win-” I started and my mother stopped me.

“Please use the front door next time.” She said in the direction of the bathroom. I almost died.

“Will do!” Kai answered and I covered my face.

My mother patted my shoulder and gave me a quick goodnight kiss. “Goodnight, sweetie. We’ll talk about this in the morning.”

I closed the door after she left, swallowing the throw up in my mouth after nervously tucking my hair behind my ear.

“You’re the worst liar, too.” Kai came out of the bathroom applying some of my floral lotion on his hands. I rolled my eyes.

“That was so embarrassing.” I sighed. “You know, I can’t – do it – with you if my whole family is downstairs and they know you’re here.” I blushed.

He raised his eyebrows, an amused smile on his face. “Do what, my sweetheart?” He laid on the bed, grabbing my journal from the nightstand.

“Hey, give me that, you jerk!” I lunged at him, attempting to grab my journal back. He opened it up to a random page and I almost cried. “Kai, I swear, I’ll kick you in the nuts.” I said, swinging my leg over his waist to grab the book.

“Jeez, girl, what’s so secretive? Loving relationships don’t have secrets.” He said and I stopped struggling, staring at him.

He stared back up at me, his eyes so pretty, a perfect nose. My whole body warmed up a good five degrees.

He threw my journal aside and grabbed my face, rolling me onto the bed as he gave my warm mouth a languid kiss. My breathing picked up the pace, his hands on my neck.

“Oh, god.” Kai said as I wrapped my legs around his waist. He pulled my sweater up my stomach, pulling away so I could sit up and let him take the damn thing off of me.

I tore off the black jacket he wore and pulled his black shirt up, finally feeling his warm skin. I blushed as he resumed to kiss my skin, sucking patterns on my chest and being gentle on my breasts.

“You’re so fucking beautiful.” He groaned, pulling at my jeans. I arched my back as he took them off.

He kissed my mouth again, his hand tangled in my hair. I pressed my body up to his, craving the warmth of his skin against mine.

“Look at you, baby. So ready for me to fuck you.” He almost groaned. I hoped that my grandparents had left and my parents couldn’t hear any of this.

“Kai-” I started and my mouth went wide when his palm pressed against the apex of my inner thighs. He giggled maniacally, pulling my underwear from me and spreading my legs.

I swallowed as took off his jeans as well.

“You’re so cute, you know. All horny and warm for me.” He kissed my mouth again. I couldn’t breathe as he took off his briefs, grinning at me.

“Kai.” He shushed me, his finger pressed against my lips. He stuck it in my mouth and I tasted the cinnamon. Maybe he had been eating the cupcakes I baked for him last weekend.

Suddenly, his penis was touching me and my breath hitched. He looked into my eyes, running his hand down my body all in concentration.

“Are you nervous?” He smiled very small, his face close to mine as he got into position. His other hand rested above my head, fist in the pink cotton of my bed sheets. I wrapped my arms up and around his neck.

“Yeah.” I responded, my voice weak and not mine as he ran the tip of his penis lightly against my wetness.

“So am I.” He admitted. “May I?” He asked and I almost rolled my eyes. I nodded. He pushed himself inside of me and we both let out breaths.

I felt the muscles on his back contract and release. He let his arms give out and he held my hips, his mouth pressed against the shell of my ear, which was on fire.

“Aw, fuck.” He mumbled quietly as he slowly pulled out and pushed back in. “So-o good.” He swallowed thickly.

“Faster.” I blushed as I felt him smile against me. He pushed himself back up and thrusted his hips in rapidly. I let out a soft moan and covered my mouth, which did nothing because a second moan escaped my mouth and it was louder.

I almost screamed as he hit a certain place inside me that made a fire combust out of nowhere.

“Right there.” I let him know and almost floated off of the bed as he continued hitting the same place.

“Right there?” He grabbed my ass and lifted me up a little. I moved my hips against his like a mad woman. He almost couldn’t keep up as I strained to get myself off.

“Kai, Kai, Kai, K-ai-” I moaned and he kissed my open mouth, pulling me against him with his arm around my back, his cold rings making me arch it.

“Fuckin’ hell.” He buried his nose in my neck, his rapid breaths tickling me.

“I want to be on top.” I said quietly. He didn’t even blink before he rolled onto the bed. I sat on him, hiding my face in my hair as I pressed my hands against his chest and sprung myself up and down using the strength if my legs. He reached up to pull my hair back and grab my tits with his big, cold hands.

He watched me intently, little whimpers and moans coming from his open mouth. He met my movements, a drop of sweat falling from my nose to his lip. He licked it off and I closed my eyes.

“I’m – fuck – I’m coming.” I said quietly, my nails making red marks on his skin. I ran my hands up and on each side of his face, looking him in the eyes as he grabbed my hips and lifted himself up to fuck me harder.

I leaned over and let out a loud moan into my crochet pillow. He moaned under me, his mouth catching my breast. He licked my skin, helping me move against him.

We both stopped and I pulled away from my pillow, meshing my mouth with his wet one, hair in both of our sweating faces. I swallowed past the lump in my throat and my mouth opened to it’s full capacity.

He jerked up into me once more and I came as he did, his hips twitching. I bit my lip and closed my eyes, sighing shakily and getting off of him.

It took a while of laying on his arm there to get my breath in order. He pulled my bunny comforter over our bodies and played in my hair with his long fingers.

“You’re in love with me.” Kai said. I smiled a little, twisting his nipple lightly in between my fingers.

“Am not.” I denied weakly.

“You’re the worst liar.” He repeated.

Beware the Ides of March

this isn’t the fic i intended to write today (or ever really) but it’s the fic that happened so

read on ao3

Bellamy doesn’t believe in any higher power, not really. He also doesn’t believe in fate, or coincidence, or any of those other things that people like to blame random happenings on.

But he will admit that if he did actually believe in any of those things, he would be fully convinced that they were laughing at his misfortune at this very minute which. Honestly, he would be too if not for the stab wound in his side. Stab wounds apparently make the whole laughing thing kind of difficult. Who’d’ve known.

“Would you just hold still?” Clarke huffs as she tries to clean the wound.

“No.”

“You’re incorrigible.”

“And your bedside manner sucks, princess.”

She pinches the soft skin on the inside of his bicep and he yelps, glaring at her balefully.

It’s not like he wants to be here, sitting on the uncomfortable examination table in the ER, shirt off, and paper crinkling noisily beneath him each time he so much as breathes. No one ever wants to be in the ER, leaking blood all over the place because they were fucking stabbed in a mugging gone wrong, not even if the opportunity lends itself to a bout of truly morbid humour.

Just this morning he was telling his sophomores about the Ides of March and now here he is, living his own version of it. Again, he would be laughing except- stab wound.

Clarke is bent over his side, wisps of blonde hair escaping her braid and looking platinum in the harsh fluorescent hospital lighting. Her eyebrows are furrowed as she goes over the cut with antiseptic, and he hisses once more.

“That hurts,” he grunts, and then flinches again when she goes back in with another piece of gauze. Most of the bleeding has stopped, but there’s still a lazy trickle that she has to keep wiping up intermittently.

“Stab wounds tend to do that,” she deadpans.

Keep reading

Another Carter?(2/?)

Summary : You’re Peggy Carters grand daughter, living as much as a normal life as you can with a giant secret weighing on your shoulders. What happens when you  ripped from your normal life, and thrown into the avengers hands?

Avengers x Reader (so far)

Warnings: Swearing , fluff

 { This Part is a build up chapter, between this one and the next a lot will be explained about the reader!}

 Marvel Master list

Chapter 1


 /n’s POV

“Come on Tony , any fucking day now .” You mumble as you scan the sky for any sign of your uncle. I’ve managed to stay off the radar this long, how did HYDRA find me ? You finally see a jet zoom through the clouds, moving to hover over the rooftop you’re currently pacing . Tony jumps from the opening , flying down to you in his iron man suit . He lands with a clank in front of you , his mask flipping up as he does . You place your hands on your hips , sending him a ‘wtf’ look. ’

“ well hello to you too dear. looks like the cats out of the bag .” He says casually .

You shake your head, sighing while you walk closer to him . “ Can we just get out of here .”

Originally posted by thesillybus

You leap up & wrap your arms around his neck. His mask closes, he tightly holds you to him as he lifts off the roof. You spend the ride trying to figure out how anyone could of Found out about you . Your grandmother had those files sealed in a vault the second the project was complete . The only people that knew of you and your capabilities are Nick Fury, Maria Hill , Clint Barton ,Tony Stark , and your grandmother . The files are only paper copies, nothing was entered into the electronic database . As far as the world is concerned , you’re just normal y/n carter , a nurse; or so you thought ,apparently the secret slipped .

  When you arrive back the To tower , Tony grabs onto your hand before you can step out of the jet . His suit was disassembled, leaving him in his t shirt and jeans. He tugs you to him in a hug, squeezing you roughly .

“ We are going to have to explain to the team . ” he warns you, his voice taking a calming tone.

 You sigh , shoving your face into his chest .

“ On the plus side, Barton is thrilled to see you !” He says, leading you to the elevators. When you first agreed to be the subject for the program , Clint was there with you . He was a high level agent , and he became your shoulder to lean on during the process .

  Your grandmother found an alternate serum , nearly matching Steves (minus a few elements). SHIELD would only administer it to someone who fit the qualifications , which are the same ones they held in the ‘40’s ; they didn’t want someone who was a good soldier , they needed someone who was a good person  - someone who wouldn’t take advantage of the new power but use it for good . Some one matching Steve Rogers heart , loyalty and ability to do what is necessary to save others . Sure there was many candidates, but Peggy’s mind immediately went to her granddaughter. You never understood why she picked you, you honestly believed your cousin Sharon would of been a better option.

 As you follow Tony around the tower ,you continue to think back to when you underwent Project EAGLE ( they got really creative, didn’t they? So lame ) . You were 22, it didn’t take much for your grandmother to persuade you . The world was in need of another savior, That was until they defrosted the original . The minute steve was found , you bowed out . You went back to your normal life , and you didn’t mind . There was too much stress on your shoulders , the weight of the world almost literally on your shoulders . You were some what relieved that they found him before you actually had to be a hero . The fear of  messing up ate away at you, it was quite different than when you use to beat up bullies as a child . The worst that could happen then was you’d be sent home , now though people’s lives , the world was on the line . Clint kept in contact for a while , but eventually faded out the longer your stayed out of the life .

  As you walk behind tony, the glass doors of the lab sliding shut behind you break your from your haze . You look up, eyes locking with beautiful light blue eyes . Oh shit , Steve Rogers .

Originally posted by stallingdemons

Before anyone says a word, you’re being enveloped into a pair of strong arms .

 You giggle , already knowing who is swinging you around . “ I missed you too Clint .”

  “ Hate to tell you kiddo, but -”

“ yeah yeah the secrets out . I kinda figured when I woke up tied to a damn chair old man .”

  He sets you down , giving you a stern look . “ There’s no staying out of this now Y/n, if hydra knows about you , it’s time to break out the hero .”

Originally posted by sssssssim

“ I’m sorry, but can someone please explain ” the man you recognize as Bruce Banner asks. You look around the room , sending a shy smile to all the avengers .

“ I suggest you take a seat , it’s story time !” Tony says as he rubs his hands together . You rolls your eyes ,

“ so are you telling MY story Uncle Tony ?” You question with a smirk .

  “ oh no darling , this is all you . FRIDAY, popcorn please ?”

You groan , hiding your face in your hands . Although Tony does help ease the tension ,it can’t completely erase the nerves of explaining yourself ; especially to the man that stole your grandmothers heart . You take a deep breathe, looking to everyone with an uneasy smile ,

“ so.. Any one here ever heard of Peggy Carter ? ”

Originally posted by avengers-of-mirkwood

Originally posted by lovelyelenas


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anonymous asked:

no. 20 *-* maybe solangelo?

#20- “When’s the last time you smiled?”


The pen held by an inked and tight grip scratched in a way that would most likely be described as both violent and unnecessary the couple of sentences his mind managed to come up with after what seemed hours of zero mental activity, erasing them from existence, resulting in him having to resist the urge to tear the page out of the main core for it to join all of its other fallen siblings positioned around as a constant reminder of past mistakes. Nico tried concentrating in his surroundings in an attempt to keeping his emotions born out of his frustration in check, task not that promising by the mere view of the general panorama.

The scent of recently toasted coffee that slowly made its way to his nostrils, unlike any of the other past occasions, didn’t bring peace to his soul nor did it slow down the rate of his heartbeat, if anything it made his breathing faster and sharper in a way the outside world was pretty much oblivious to, not that he really was expecting that from the others living beings sitting on tables nearby: whatever he would ask or require would be way too picky and therefore would be mostly ignored.

He didn’t blame the place, of course, it was not the fault of an unmoving building that his head didn’t feel like coming with brilliant or at least decent ideas to write down nor a way to properly put his messy thoughts into words; that didn’t mean the brown eyed wouldn’t be exceptionally mad simply by the mere existence of the universe, there was only much that he could do to realize steam that would be considered as social acceptable.

Nico was pretty sure his brain cells would quickly follow the example of the boiling water inside the metallic kettle he could hear at the distance, in the hidden section of the place that laid separated by a reddish door that seemed way too bright when compared to the general softness of the walls and decoration. He wondered how much would it actually take for him to end up succumbing under the strong pressure and stress inflicted strongly by himself.

“Here’s your order.” His thoughts were interrupted by the same voice he had grown used to hearing after months of attending the rather old fashioned coffee shop that had, in a way, become his hidden lair, the spot hidden from the outside world that usually brought upon him a weird sense of tranquility that the harsh environment of the outside never allowed him to have; that said day, however, a grey cloud seemed to follow him whenever he walked by, not having enough decency to stay outside of his sanctuary.

He looked up, separating his glance from the wrinkled pages scattered on the surface of the table, his eyes not taking long to meet a pair of blue irises framed by blond locks that shone like gold under the yellowish lights hanging from the ceiling, making it difficult to pull his stare from their curly figure.

Their interactions had begun before summer season made its big, and in some cases certainly anticipated, arrival, back when the other was simply a waiter that brought a general air of unprofessionally, managing to make his uniform look anything but polished and he was the difficult client whose attitude most likely managed to scare every other employee from the prospect of asking for his order.

They had had, once would even say, a rather rocky start that got to include, to keep it short, a considerable bunch of sarcastic remarks, not so memorable comebacks, spilled brewages and a close call of someone getting stabbed with a butter knife; however, even if the brown eyed wouldn’t say it out loud, he would certainly miss the interactions with the exterior personification of sunlight if everything were to suddenly disappear. If that were to happen with the blink of an eye, it would certainly be a change, although not one Nico would particularly like.

The sound of someone clearing up their throat brought his consciousness back to real life, soon finding himself in front of a served cup of the coffee his organism had grown fond to, accompanied by a small plate that displayed a pair of chocolate chip cookies. He was about to reach for one of the sugary treats when he noticed the shadow projected over a fraction of the table he was sitting at hadn’t moved the less.

“Want to hear a joke?” Will asked unexpectedly, breaking the Italian free from the hurricane of thoughts that had been waiting for him just around the corner of his mind, making him turn his head to look at the being directing his words to him. Nico was about to protest, even though he was certain some distraction would make the arrival headache he knew was already coming get delayed, he really wasn’t in the mood for any type of comedy. “What does a barista say to their Valentine?” He raised an eyebrow slightly, a little side smirk starting to appear on his face in anticipation before answering to his own question without a hint of hesitation. “Words cannot espresso my love for you.”

Before Nico could realize, a quiet, short laugh left his mouth as he rolled his eyes, no trace of real malice visible on his stare nor on his posture but rather something close to amusement. “That was so bad, one of the worst puns I’ve ever heard.”

Will smiled brightly, his eyes shining with unspoken pride that could easily rival the light the stars displayed above the head of the world at night. “Hey, it made you laugh, didn’t it?”

The smaller boy felt the corners of his lips tug up without him passing an order or command, almost as if they had a mentality of their own; however, even though he knew the muscles on his face were the ones making every single move, Nico couldn’t help but think the expression plastered on his features was actually product of iron hooks by the way tension began to accumulate on his cheeks in a rather painful manner. “Yes, because of how bad it was.”

Silence fell upon the scene as soon as the last syllable rolled out of his mouth, outsiders and spectators forgotten alike for his mind as the pair of vivid blue irises he had somehow grown attached to focused on his face, probably analyzing his considerably pale visage, which turned into a more yellowish coloration under the lights illuminated the establishment. Nico briefly considered intervening, being the one to pronounce his thoughts out loud first, breaking the vail of awkwardness surrounding the situation when the other spoke.

“When’s the last time you smiled?” The blond waiter ended up asking much to his surprise, not really having been expecting that kind of questioning at all. The blue eyed individual apparently translated his lack of response, both verbal as well as any physical reaction that might serve as an indicator that someone is still among the living, as a cue for him to elaborate his point even further. “At the most mundane things, the silly things that life that sometimes are considered way too dumb to laugh at.”

Nico raised an eyebrow slightly, his arms crossed but his posture missing the aura of defensiveness outsiders would have immediately linked with his image. “Do you always get this deep with all of the costumers?”

“You would say you are kind of a particular case.” Will said, his blue eyes avoiding the Italian’s curious glance as if the chocolate brown irises burned his insides or were to turn his entire being into stone before he even got to blink. The rather suspicious behavior did nothing but raise more questions from the deeps of his mind and, as a matter of fact, so did the almost unnoticeable faint of red that started to spread along the other’s cheeks, bringing out the small freckles that adorned his face. “You know, we are closing in an hour, maybe after that we could talk a little more? Perhaps outside this place?” The blond asked as he absently played with a loose thread coming from his apron, a not that subtle hint of nervousness present on his voice.

“Fine, with one condition.”

Will leaned closer to him slightly, his eyes shining like just polished sapphires. “What it is?”

“No more horrible puns, I hear a joke about coffee beans and I’m out.” He answered, cracking a little side smirk which, Nico was almost certain, showed to what extend his words were to be taken seriously. The dark haired felt his face warming out when a gentle chuckle escaped from the other’s lips.

“Deal.”

“I am the hope of this world! I am light and darkness together, the destroyer of those who wish to destroy! The one who stands between you and victory! I am Mystille, YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE!”

Mystille, a fusion of Mysteeri and @inklingleesquidly‘s Camille. Never thought you’d see this happen, huh? Well that’s because it probably never will. I dunno. But it’s cool, though. Honestly they’d never fuse unless the fate of the world depended on it. I know you can’t see her ears, but she’s actually a Potara fusion! Mysteeri would refuse to do both the Metamorese Fusion and that Steven Universe fusion dance out of sheer embarrassment.

Cuddles and Shit. (John Laurens X Reader)

Prompt: 21, 31, 82, 97, 114, 189, and 241 with Laurens? I know it’s a lot so you don’t have to do all of them if you don’t want to but they all made me think of him being really drunk lol

21.“I might have had a few shots.”
31.“Kiss me.”
82.“Your hair is so soft…”
97.“Wow, you’re hot.”
114.“Be my wife.”
189.“I’m flirting with you.”
241.“Promise me you’ll stay.”

Word Count: 2,039

A/N: I love you guys for being so patient with me about this. I’m gonna try to get back to my fic a day or every other day schedule now, I just hit a really bad funk.
___________

Message from Ham:
Laurens is not in driving condition but he’s alone at the bar by your house.

You sighed as you read the text. You had no doubt he was alone at the bar because Alexander had abandoned him their in favor of taking Eliza home. And you were tired, that was the whole reason you’d passed on going out despite Laurens blowing up your phone with sad emojis. But if something happened to the idiot you’d never forgive yourself. So you did your best to clean yourself up, smudging some Concealer under your eyes to hide the exhausted flakes of mascara from the day, grabbing your purse and keys and heading out to the bar.

It wasn’t hard to spot Laurens when you got there. It was even easier to hear him, though. You could hear him from outside. None of your other friends were insight, despite the fact you were sure that he had said Lafayette and Herc would be there too. That you were breaking up the gang by not coming. You guessed it was possible they’d found a girl to take home already. Maybe it was a lucky night.

“Y/N!!” He yelled when he caught sight of you. “You said you weren’t coming out!” He pouted, pushing through the last few people to get to you, grabbing you in a hug before you could duck away. He managed to wrap an arm around your head instead of your body, pulling you flush against his chest. “Woah. Your hair is so soft.” And then you were being pet as you fought to get free. Any other time he was welcome to run his fingers through your hair. Right now you were a girl on a mission to get his drunk ass home in one piece.

“Laurens, how drunk are you?” You laughed, pushing him off you with an arm that was pinned between your bodies.

“I mighta had a few shots.” He giggled, letting you go after another few moments. “No more than 6 though. Maybe like 14.” Well past the point of remembering this in the morning. “You finally came to drink we meeeee” John moved to hug you again, but you ducked out of the way this time, trying not to laugh at him.

“Nope, taking you home. Before you drink enough you end up hungover all weekend.” Rolling your eyes, you leaned against the bar that John had been sitting at.

“You take such good care of me Y/N. Don’t deserve you. Be my wife. Lemme take care of you.” John smiled, trying to kneel,instead losing his balance and falling back before you reached out to steady him.

“I can see you put a lot of thought into this proposal, Laurens.” You grinned, taking the arm you had caught and tugging it around your shoulders so John could balance more on you ask you started leading him out of the bar.

“M’serious. You know how good we’d be? M’romantic. Would cuddle you and shit. Yeah. Whaddya say? Marry me?” He turned his head, pressing a kiss to the side of yours.

Shaking your head, you decided to give in, entertaining him. “Sure John. Let me get you home safe and I’ll marry you.”

“Deal.” He smiled at you, and you had to push back the thought that it would be nice if he didn’t have to get this drunk to flirt with you. The two of you came to your car. You don’t think you’ve ever had to fight a grown man to put on his seatbelt.

His apartment wasn’t too far from the bar either, but you had no desire to be carrying John Laurens all the way to his place. It only took you about five minutes to get there, and about fifteen to get him actually through his front door.

“You need to drink some water,John. Maybe you won’t hate yourself so much in the morning if you’re a little hydrated.” You sat him down on the couch, moving over to his kitchen. You knew this apartment like it was your own.

Laurens smiled as he watched you. “You’re so hot. You know that? Wow you’re hot. And you’re already in wifey mode. John Laurens won the lottery everyone. “ He half shouted, gesturing around the room as if he was announcing it to a room full of friends.

“Come on, drink up.” You stood over him, handing him the glass. He looked up at you with a goofy smile on his face and if you weren’t so focused on taking care of him right now you’d melt.

“I have a condition”

“Who said this was a debate?” You raised an eyebrow. “Plus, didn’t I already agree to marry you?” You smiled,laughing a little.

“Yeah but you gotta seal the deal. Kiss me, Y/N. Then you can boss me around all night.” He nodded, crossing his arms like a child.

“I’ll kiss you when you’re sober. You’ve got bad breath right now anyways.” He pouted at that, and you made the best gesture with your head that you’d could to the water. “Now drink.”

With a grumble, he took the water from your hand, downing it in a few seconds.

“If you throw up I’m going to kill Alexander.” You noted, offering your hand. “Time for you to go to bed. You’re gonna need all the sleep you can get.”

He took it, pulling you down instead of using it as an anchor to stand up. You fell into him in with a laugh, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. “John Laurens, If you don’t get up and go to be right now I’m calling this engagement off.”

“Good. I haven’t even asked your father. I should practice that.” You rolled your eyes, tilting to the side so you fell on the couch he didn’t occupy.

“You owe me tomorrow. You’re buying Chipotle.” You managed to stand up, pulling his arm again. He was stronger than you, but still managed to act like you we’re pulling him up all by the strength of your own arms.

It was another twenty minutes of drunken protests. Somewhere along the way he’d gone down to one shoe and no shirt. You managed to translate half his words into english. But John had moved to the bathroom in his bedroom, and you were counting it as an improvement. Refilling the glass, you set it along with some advice on his nightstand.

“John, look how comfortable your bed looks. Couldn’t you just crash here and now?” You could. Given a soft enough pile of newspapers you would probably collapse there too.

“I can go all night, Y/N.” He insisted, trying to fight the yawn that came after it. “Will you sleep with me?”

“Excuse me!’ You took a moment to just react before actually thinking about what he meant.

“C’mon. I said I’d cuddle you and shit. Lemme be a good husband.” He pouted. It wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world to relax for a few while you waited for him to fall asleep so you didn’t have to worry about him running back to the bar. You waited for him to crawl in before looping the bed and sliding in the other side. “You’ll be here when I wake up, right?”

“John, I have my own place. I left lights on.”

He shook his head. “ Promise me you’ll stay.” He began to sit up and John Laurens on his feet was a danger to anyone’s mental sanity right now.

“I’ll stay. Promise.” You put your hands up in mock surrender. You could survive one sleepover at your friend’s place. When he was asleep you’d just move to the couch.

.That was the plan at least. Until you found yourself wide awake as the unwilling little spoon, John pinning you in place. Eventually you gave up, and closed your eyes. It had been a long night.

“Y/N?” John’s voice was quiet, but the confusion it was clear. “What are you doing here?” How had he woken up before you?

“You took that asprin, right?” You questioned him, more concerned about the hangover that seemed missing.

“Yeah, I did. Thanks for that, this one is killer. That was a hell of a night, huh? “ Laurens grumbled, letting you go and sitting upright.

“I’ll mean,you did ask me to marry you.” You shook your head, trying to wake yourself up “I was planning on staying on the couch til somebody caught me in a death grip under their arm.”

John blushed, laughing at himself. “I’m actually impressed you put up with me all night. Thanks for getting me home, Y/N. Got any plans today?”

“I reserve the right to slap you if you suggest going out and drinking. But no. No plans.” You sat up, shrugging at him

“What about food and some bad movies? I think I’ve got enough of a hangover to cover until Monday. “ John flashed you a sleepy smile, and this time you did let yourself melt a little.

“You’re buying. You know how many times you tried to convince me to kiss you? You owe me a burrito now.”

“Oh, c’mon. You know you wanted to. “ Laurens winked at you, and you couldn’t even hold your composure to throw it back at him, laughing at that.

“The hell are you doing,Laurens?” You asked through the laughter.

“I’m flirting with you. Can’t a guy flirt with his fiancé right after they wake up together?” He threw back at you with a smirk. You, in turn, grabbed a pillow to throw at him.

Maybe it wasn’t the most exciting day, but you got a burrito for lunch and spent the afternoon curled up with John, enjoying the closeness. He didn’t seem to regret any of his actions,though he made sure to apologize a few hundred times if he made you uncomfortable. But you hadn’t minded. Even sleeping with his arms around you, you hadn’t minded.

The dynamic of you two had just shifted, and you were sure you could both feel it. Something you hadn’t let yourself consider unless Laurens was so drunk any action was off the table. But here you were, both sober and still determined to maintain some sort of contact. But nobody was talking about it.

His arm was around you, and you fingers were tracing the veins in his hand, when you looked over at him to see he hadn’t been watching the movie at all.

“This is weird, right?” You ask, quietly. Your heartbeat picks up as you meet his eyes.

John nods. “But it’s a good weird? I kinda wanna kiss you right now.” He noted, and you smiled at that.

“I did tell you I’d kiss you when you were sober.” You shrugged, teasing him a little.

“Then you owe me, Y/N.” He shifted so he could close the distance if you gave the green light.

“Oh,just kiss me already. “ You laughed, closing your eyes as you felt his lips crash to yours. This felt right. You weren’t worried about what you’d have to figure out later. But kissing him felt so right. You let your hand come up and fingers weave through his hair.

When you broke apart you both had smiles plastered on your faces. “Wow.” You spoke, smiling up at him. “Your hair is so soft.” You smirked, and he rolled his eyes, shutting you up with another kiss.

My Type - Thor

Summary - Girl’s night quickly turns into Natasha playing matchmaker with you as her victim. She’s been trying to hook you up with someone for a while, will she succeed when she starts suggesting the Avengers?

Word Count - 503

A/N - Let’s go ahead and cross Scott off the list too. Let me know who you guys wanna see for part four since I already have someone for the next part!

Tony | Thor | Pietro | Sam | T'Challa | Steve | Bucky

Originally posted by thordaily

“No way,” you shook your head, rolling your eyes as Nat sighed heavily.

“Why not?” She asked, throwing her arms out in irritation.

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Why Can’t You See Me?

Word Count : 2040


“Hey Harry, have you-” You got up from your seat with your Potions essay in your hand and walked over to Harry. You knew that going to Harry instead of Hermione wasn’t the best thing to do but it wasn’t like you were actually going to take his advice anyway. To be honest, you just wanted to talk to him. 

“Isn’t she just lovely?” Harry interrupted you. 

You scowled and took out your wand from your skirt pocket. “I completely agree Harry. Let me show you just how lovely I think she is, Harry.” 

Ever since Cho Chang just looked at Harry on the train, he’s been out of it and annoying. Cho Chang this. Cho Chang that. You never had anything against her before and to be rational, you still didn’t. However under the circumstances of your crush being head over heels over a girl that can barely give him an ounce of her attention, you’d probably be at least a little irritated too. To add to the matter, it was upsetting that you basically poured all your attention onto him but still nothing.

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A Reylo fic inspired by this post from the lovely Mystrade-Lecroft. This is the first time I’ve actually posted a fic anywhere. Just so y’all know



By day, they were the worst of enemies.

Their battles would level cities, tear apart planets, and nearly destroyed the galaxy once or twice. The energy in their lightsabers, the power in the force they both had, would make the earth shake, volcanos erupt, and the dust on Jakku, millions of light-years away, would whip into storms so powerful they whipped people’s homes off the ground. Everyone feared them, and did everything they could to keep them apart.

But they kept finding each other, tearing apart worlds, if only on accident.

No one knew why they kept doing it, finding each other only to find they were unable to kill the other, and tearing apart planets in the process.

Leia was the only one with a vague idea of what they were doing. She could see the look on Rey’s face when she looked for him on the maps, when they were trying to talk her out of looking for him again to save a planet from the destruction. The look of slight longing, stubbornness, and slight anger that flew across her features.

No one knew that they would always know where the other was. They would only fight to keep the others in the dark. They never meant to destroy anything, but they occasionally got way into the fight.

The night before those battles, they would find each other. They would swim in creeks, play in the snow, or just sit and talk, high in a tree.

Some nights were spent in fits of passion, gentle touches, little kisses, and whispered sweet nothings that they knew would be forgotten in the morning.

Those nights they both cherished, replaying the memories when they couldn’t meet the other.

Then came the day, with armies behind them, they had to fight.

The first collision of their lightsabers shook the earth. Her double bladed saber, curiously black, hit his red one a second time, and it sent stormtroopers around them flying.

They fought in a frenzy, clashing fast enough to blur. Anyone on the outside of the fight heard Rey growl like a tiger when her arm was cut open, down to the bone, and Kylo Ren hiss like a snake when she cut open the other side of his face.

But they kept fighting. They fought until the ground shook, breaking apart in the oceans of the planet. They fought until everyone else had to fly away, as they ground was rolling and cracking beneath their feet.

They fought until Rey had Kylo backed to a cliff, the drop an inch from his heels.

He looked at her, with blood running down his face, almost pleading with his eyes.

She twirled her lightsaber with practiced ease, and stabbed it into his chest.

She pressed close, pushing into his chest.

“I’m sorry.”

She pulls out the lightsaber, pushing him lightly off the cliff. He tumbled down, without his lightsaber.

She had it in her hand.

She stabbed it into the soft soil beneath her feet, sinking down to her knees as she did so. Rey let one solitary tear run down her cheek, letting it drip off of her chin.

She flew off the collapsing planet, bleeding from her arm, with the red and black lightsabers on her belt. Both cursed.

The red one was cursed with the blood of many people on it. Kylo had killed women, men, children in their homes.

The black one had been stolen from the jedi temples, and rebuilt to be double-bladed by Rey herself. It was old, truth be told, and cursed anyone who wielded it with the insanity of raw power. It had been wielded by Darth Maul himself, and she had been pressured to let it go more than once.

She kept it.

After she killed Kylo, no one wanted to go near her.

Poe and Finn stayed away, only speaking to her when the need arose. Everyone else around the base was acting like them, jumping when she snuck up on them, speaking to her only when they had orders too.

Rey didn’t mind, choosing to train extensively with Kylo Ren’s lightsaber. There were nights when she couldn’t move, consumed by grief. Exhausting herself prevented those nights, since she was asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.  

They found her two weeks later, hanging from the roof of the base, with a note pinned to her shirt.

“If he’s going to haunt my life, I’m not going to live it without him. I’m going mad. Better to let go now than do something regrettable later.”

She was given a proper burial, with her black bladed staff on one side of her coffin, and the red saber on the other.

They met in Heaven, and continued their battle, dancing around each other, fighting for eternity.

Buckle Up We're Going for a Ride on the Feels Train

So I’ve got this headcanon about why Mjollnir wiggled when Steve tried to pick it up in AoU…

See, I don’t think whether or not someone can wield Mjollnir is based on anything so nebulous as being “worthy” or not, I think it’s based on Mjollnir being a semi-sentient entity in the form of a hammer that can sense the motivations behind the attempted wielding.

So Thor is like 100% sure he’s using Mjollnir in the service of good all the time but then he fucks up right? And Odin kicks him down to Earth for a little taste of humility and whispers the “should he be worthy” spiel to the hammer. But see, I don’t think Odin was doing anything overly mystical there. I think he was reminding Mjollnir “hey, you’re supposed to be used in service of others, not so my son can go showboating around Jotunheim like an idiot in a shiny suit.”

And Mjollnir is like “shit you’re right sorry” and so when Thor first goes to get it and is all “gonna get the eff out of Midgard and show these humans what’s up” Mjollnir is like “hold the fuck up dude what are u doin” and doesn’t budge.

And then Loki, with his advanced magical studies, probably knows the hammer is based partly on the user’s state of mind so he tries to really screw with Thor and drive the point home so Thor will never be able to use Mjollnir again. But of course this actually only serves to push Thor into the humble state of mind needed to pick the hammer back up so it backfires.

Fast forward to AoU and everyone taking their shot at the hammer.

Bruce can’t pick it up because he isn’t even really trying. He has no concept of a world where he could use the hammer. We all saw what his worst fear is and the thought of adding a weapon from the hands of an actual god to that is probably abhorrent to him.

Tony can’t pick it up at the time because he’s grandstanding for his friends and Mjollnir don’t play that. But I bet if he grabbed it in the heat of battle in a desperate move to protect Pepper or Rhodey it would feel light as a feather.

Clint can’t do it because he’s probably thinking about how weird and dumb this is and why would an archer use a hammer? No faith means no worthy.

Nat doesn’t want to try. But I guarantee she’s tried before. I bet she can do it but she has no idea why and that terrifies her.

So, Steve. Steve almost gets it. Steve is the guy who jumps on the grenade. Steve is the guy who was about to let the Winter Soldier kill him if there was the slightest chance it would bring Bucky back. Steve is worthy. But Steve is also carrying a huge load of guilt and PTSD and has already decided he isn’t worthy. So Steve starts to lift the hammer, but then Mjollnir sees what this revelation would do to him in his current mental state…and stops.

Steve is worthy, but he’s not READY.

And Vision is of course a perfect cinnamon bun, too good for this world, too pure.

Growing Pains Taste Like Five Hour Energy And Her Lips

what is this someone tell me

Pairing: Riley/Maya
Words: 2,088
Summary: The world is spinning and it’s another rose-tinted night where no teenagers can die and nothing can go wrong and everything is loud and forceful and it’s all fine, which is why it’s surprising Maya would gamble all that on some Skittles and teenage feelings. It’s fine, though; the sun won’t rise, Maya said so.

ALTERNATIVELY, READ IT ON AO3/LEAVE A COMMENT

The world is a place full of questions- like, why did Riley agree to this, and why does Maya have the keys to the school, and why are they spending the first night of summer vacation in the exact place that they’ve just been granted immunity from for three months, but right now, the most pressing question of all is mostly “Would you kiss the last person you texted?”

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DBI: Chapter One

It was a hot May afternoon, and my air conditioner had broken hours ago. But, with the windows open and the music blasting none of it mattered. Nothing mattered at all. I smiled at every pretty girl I passed, and I sang along at the top of my lungs. A few times I even thought about jerking off, but somehow, I never bothered. My mind drifted back to Talia over and over again, and I got hard at least ten times as I pictured her in my bed the night before we left. In spite of my memories, my jeans stayed buttoned as I flew down the winding highway.

 

Talia and I had a largely chaste relationship, which I’m sure didn’t help. If we had gotten around to fucking I would most likely have moved on, but as it stood, I couldn’t get the memories out of my head. She climbed into bed with me after our graduation party and we kissed instantly without saying a word. My hands moved up and down her body with all the skill of a drunk, but somehow she forgave me for everything.

 

“I don’t think we should have sex,” she finally whispered, as I kissed her neck and slipped my hand beneath her shirt to cup one of her breasts. I nodded and moaned my understanding, thinking that possibly she knew better than I did. Later that night, when we had mostly stopped kissing, I slid my hand inside her boxers and touched her pussy for the first time. She was softer, wetter, and smoother than anyone I had ever felt, and I gasped in spite of myself.

 

When I woke up she was gone, but there was a sweet note telling me she loved me, and hoped I had a good trip home. She was going back to the west coast, and besides we had only ever just been friends. She had been the one I turned to after my breakup with Claire, and she had been the one to reaffirm my humanity. I had been so lost, stuck in something that wasn’t healthy for anyone, and by the time I got out it was almost too late. But, Talia was there, laughing and smiling with a joy that seemed to never leave her. She was smarter than me, prettier than me, and gentler by far. Yet, somewhere in the core of her being she was a solid as an oak, and I was blowing in the wind without a single ounce of control.

 

Still, it was all fine. The fields were a blur as I sped through Pennsylvania, pushing the old car to eighty. I cut up across the state, through the strangely named Jersey Shore, PA, and finally crossed over into Jersey herself. There were no oil refineries or airports on that side of the state, and, in fact, not much changed except for the traffic. As I drove down Route 80 the cars grew thicker even as the highway grew wider. The horns started long before Patterson, but as I approached the city I didn’t care anymore. I looked north as I drove over the George Washington Bridge, and wondered if I should stop home. I instantly decided against it. I hadn’t had a home in five years, and there was no point going back now.

 

Home meant my father, the memory of my childhood dog, and a house so full of newspapers and old copies of National Geographic that I would be hard pressed to find somewhere to sit down. The bridge, on the other hand, was something else. Back in highschool, I ran over it during track practice. We jogged the three miles to Fort Lee and then ran across to 178th Street. We made a U-turn at the bus depot, jogged across the northern side of the bridge, through the woods of the Palisades, and back to our preppy nirvana on the hill. It was the most daring thing I did back then, and I bragged about it to no end.

 

Looking down the river, I saw the great buildings of Manhattan reaching up to the sky. The Empire State Building in the middle of the island marked Midtown, and all the way south stood the Twin Towers, looming up into the sky like they had burst from the bedrock a century ago. I pulled off the first exit to the West Side Highway and made my way downtown. I had only one destination in mind, although I doubt she knew I was coming. When I looked back across the river, I shuddered with regret, as unable as ever to admit that Jersey had ever been my home.

 

I pulled off in the West Village, made my way over to Seventh Avenue and found a place to park. The small car could fit most places, and as luck would have it there was a spot on Cornelia Street right around the corner from Jane’s apartment. I left all of my earthly belongings in the car except for my backpack, and I stretched when I finally stood on the broken street. My neck was sore, my legs were tight, and my hands exhausted from gripping the wheel. But, I was done.

 

I locked the car, mostly for show, and walked up to Jane’s stoop. I rang her bell and when she answered I simply said, “It’s me.” A second later she buzzed me in, and I was suddenly so alive with anticipation that I almost couldn’t stand it. There is little in the world I love more than seeing old friends after a long absence, and Jane was no exception. In fact, she was one of the old friends I was looking forward to seeing most, and I was practically jumping by the time I reached the fifth floor of her walk-up.

 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” she asked as soon as the door was open. I grabbed her up in a hug and we stumbled into her place, my backpack falling to the floor at the entrance. It was a tiny studio, with a kitchen almost on top of her bed, but it didn’t matter. It could have been smaller than my dorm room and still have been a perfect NYC apartment.

 

“I just got here,” I said, finally putting her down.

 

“No shit,” she said.

 

“I mean I just got to New York. I drove all fucking day long with the worst hangover ever.”

 

I kicked my shoes off and lay down on her bed with a sigh and she tossed me a box of Marlboro Lights. I opened it and pulled two cigarettes out. I lit them both before handing her one, and she lay down next to me.

 

“Did you actually graduate?” she asked.

 

“Of course. I even did fairly well. Not that anyone is ever going to ask to see a college transcript, but it wouldn’t be the end of the world. I’m done, I’m never going back, and I couldn’t be happier.”

 

She sat on the bed smoking and staring at me with a grin I found joyfully familiar. I took another few drags off my cigarette before crushing it out on the ashtray, and I instantly moved closer to her on the bed with just one thing on my mind. She grinned again and I put my hand on her leg, feeling her strong muscles through her skin-tight jeans as I leaned in closer.

 

“Your thigh trick won’t work on me,” she whispered, without making any effort to move my hand as it slid its way up her leg.

 

“Does it have to?” I asked.

 

“You’re impossible,” she said, before I leaned in and kissed her. She tasted like smoke and curry, and everything about her was so damn familiar I almost couldn’t handle it. I pulled her closer to me, and she took a final drag off her cigarette before smothering it out as well. She wrapped her legs around me as we kissed, and I reached up under her shirt and undid her bra.

 

“What am I going to do with you?” she asked.

 

“Fuck me?”

 

A second later, her shirt was gone and we were done talking. I kissed her familiar chin and then her familiar neck. Her familiar hands undid my jeans, and her familiar breasts crashed against my bare skin in a moment of joyful reunion. We tore at the rest of our clothes, kicking our jeans off onto the floor until we were entangled in each other’s naked bodies for the first time in over a year. I made my way down her body until her legs opened around my neck, and she cried out when my mouth found her.

 

“Oh fuck, I forgot how good you are at that.”

 

She was wet and delicious, and I ate her pussy until she finally pulled me back to a kiss and shoved a condom into my hand. My fingers replaced my tongue as we rolled over on the bed, and she thrust down against me as my mind slowly shut off. With her help I got the condom on, and then she was on top of me and everything else was gone. The drive vanished, college was a distant memory, and my break-up might never as well have happened. Jane’s pussy was the only thing in the world that mattered, and it wasn’t until I was close to coming that I realized there were tears in my eyes.

 

She bit my shoulder and pulled me to her as we fucked, and it was all I could do to hold off the inevitable. I moved my hands over her body until they slid down, not wanting to leave her behind. She knew as well as I did what I was about to do, and her whole body tightened. I pulled her onto me, looking up at her heaving breasts, and her eyes were closed in ecstasy. She pushed down around me as I grabbed her ass in one hand, and when my finger found her tight hole she screamed out. I worked it into her ass as we fucked, and she bit her lip so hard I thought she might bleed.

 

It only took a few minutes of me fingering her ass for her to start coming, and I was right behind her. I threw her onto her back, her body still trembling, and I pistoned in and out of her for all I was worth.

 

“Fuck me,” she moaned. “Make me come, Thomas. Do it.”

 

And then I was gone, exploding into the condom as she stared into my eyes and tightened her legs around my body. I kissed her mouth between gasps, and my own ass tightened as I came over and over again. She brushed my hair from my face, and I kissed her chin as we stared into each other’s eyes. I touched her cheek as I reached down and squeezed the condom around the base of my cock before finally pulling out.

 

I got up and walked to the bathroom where I dropped the condom in the toilet and pulled a wash cloth off the shelf. I ran some warm water, wet the rag, and made my way back to the bed. She had another cigarette lit, and I gently wiped the sweat off her body. She shook her head at me as I did it, but she didn’t stop me. I finally tossed the rag onto the floor and she reached a hand out so I could take a drag off her smoke.

 

“I forgot that you know that thing about my ass,” she said.

 

“Jane, everyone knows that thing about your ass.”

 

“Fuck you.”

 

“I am so happy to be here,” I said, leaning back and staring at the smoke as it left my mouth. “And not just so I can sit here naked in bed after fucking your brains out. I just had to get the hell out of Indiana. I don’t know. I needed old friends again, you know? I needed some city and something other than politically-correct wannabe lesbians arguing with me about semantics. Fuck, it’s good to see you again.”

 

“You so did not fuck my brains out. It was nice, but brains are definitely still here. Why do I always say yes to you?”

 

I lit another cigarette and she nestled in under my arm as we shared it. The wind through the window was warm and our bodies were too. I kissed her hair and she ran her fingers up my leg, both of us lost in our own thoughts. My few minutes of blissful forgetting were gone though, and I was back to thinking full time no matter how hard I tried. But, it was fine. Everything was going to be okay. I was back in the city and Jane was naked and smoking; the world was as it should be.

 

“My boyfriend will be here in an hour.”

 

“I didn’t know you had a boyfriend!” I said in real surprise. “Is he a good one?”

 

“I don’t know. He’s cute and smart and has more money than god. Which is sort of a problem, but so far it’s been good. He’s a doctor. Like a real doctor. I like him and he likes me, and he’s even good to me. He buys me flowers for no reason and helps me study. I don’t know. It might last a few more months.”

 

“Sounds terrible, Jane. How can you live with it?”

 

“I’m sure I’ll fuck it up sooner or later.”

 

“Whatever. Anyone lucky enough to have you even for a night is a lucky man.”

 

“Oh, ‘cause you’ve always wanted to be with me.”

 

I looked at her, but she was staring out the window again. Neither of us moved, and there was nothing to say. We had been friends forever and fucking for years, but it had never crossed my mind to ask her out. What we had was something else. It was beautiful and perfect, and anything we said about it would just make it bad. So, I kissed her head and smoked as we looked out onto the brick wall of the next apartment; I smelled the warm smells of spring from the garden far below.

 

“Do you have somewhere to stay?” she finally asked.

 

I just shook my head, because it had never occurred to me that I wouldn’t stay there.

 

“I could go home, I guess.”

 

“Yeah, that’s what you’ll do. Why don’t you give me a few hours with the boy, then come back. He never sleeps here because he say there’s not enough room for two people to breathe. He’ll be here till one or two, but then you can come back. Okay?”

 

“That would be awesome,” I said. “Jane, it’s so good to see you, you know that?”

 

“Yeah, yeah. You’re just lucky I let you fuck me this time. You show up after a goddamn year without even an e-mail in between, and I let you in and…”

 

She trailed off as she lit another smoke, and I finally stood up and gathered my clothes. I pulled on my jeans and t-shirt along with my socks and belt. I finally found my shoes and jacket and walked back to the bed. She was still sitting there naked, and I instantly wanted her again. I wanted to hold her and kiss her, and most of all I wanted to see if she was interested in having something other than a finger up her perfect ass. Fuck, it was time to go.

 

“Get out of here and don’t come back until at least two, okay?”

 

She stood up and walked to the edge of the bed. Standing on the mattress she was taller than me, and I looked up into her eyes. I kissed her, stole a drag, and then kissed her again. I ran my hand down her back and squeezed her ass, marveling again at her naked body.

 

“God you are so fucking perfect,” I whispered.

 

She slapped me playfully and pushed me away.

 

“Get out of here before I throw you out, you little pervert.”

 

She laughed as she walked me to the door, but I was smart enough not to push it. I kissed her one last time in the hallway.

 

“See you around two.”

 

“Go!” she said.

 ——————————————-

On to Chapter Two

(Want more? Can’t wait 32 weeks for the whole book? Well, it’s available on Amazon here and on the Nook here. Otherwise, you can read each new chapter as they’re posted every Friday. Click here to start at the beginning.)

“I Swear I’m Not A Creep.”

Fandom: The Flash

Pairing: Barry Allen x Reader

Request (from @captainelsaeverdeen) : ‘Hi ! :) Could you possibly write another Barry Allen imagine, where he saves the reader one night, and he immediately falls for her, and since then every night he watches her from her work to her house in secret, until one day she caught him? That will be awesome :D’

Warnings: Minor cursing

Words: 4,661

A/N: Hello! I’m so sorry it took me so long to write this, but like I said I am a slow writer. Thank you all for your patience! Feedback is always appreciated, as well as requests, so keep requesting! Also, I’m considering only writing imagines for The Flash, just because it’s what I’m most passionate about right now. Do you guys think I should make that change? Anyway, thanks for reading this!

Originally posted by tv-showwhore

- - - - - - - - - -

The last thing Barry needed that day was another metahuman attack, but of course, that’s what he got. It’s not that he didn’t love saving Central City from impending doom, he just had a lot on his plate that day, and his luck seemed to turn against him. He had to process the evidence from two reported robberies, a shooting, and on top of having to about thirty people from a bus crash, he had to have a lunch date with Iris. Well, of course it wasn’t a real date. Iris didn’t see him that way, and at some point along the way, without really realizing it, Barry started getting over his feelings for her.

“Cisco, I’m not really in the mood to deal with some crazy meta who thinks they rule the world. Could the cops handle it?” He hoped to God they could.

“Uh, this lady can shoot freakin’ lava from her hands, man. I don’t think the cops know how to deal with that.” Cisco replied.

Barry sighed. Why did the world hate him today? Being a superhero really messed with his personal life, that was the only part of the job he was not too fond of. That, and getting his ass kicked on almost all of his first encounters with new villains, but to have such an amazing ability, like being able to run faster than the speed of sound, never ceased to astonish him. Feeling the wind rush past his face, electricity surging through his body, it made him feel alive. He was trying to follow Oliver’s direction on patience and canvassing before saving the day, but sometimes he couldn’t stop himself. Cisco gave him the location of the rogue and he ran. The Magma Maiden, as Cisco called her, was on her way to Iron Heights, and Barry was dead set on stopping her.

He arrived at Iron Heights in a matter of seconds, and once he was outside the gates, his feet came to a halt, lightning and dirt flying in all directions as they skidded across the dry ground. “Cisco, you got eyes on her?” He asked, catching his breath.

“Yeah, thanks to my mad skills, I was able to hack into their security system.” Barry smiled and rolled his eyes. Cisco was a great guy, but he could get a little cocky at times. “Looks like she’s in the contact visitation center.”

“I’m on my way.” Barry said, taking off yet again, sending more grime into the air.

Since Barry had been studying the layout of the prison for most of his life, slipping in unnoticed was pretty easy, but being surround by an atmosphere that had collared his father for so long was almost too much to handle. The cold walls, the lifeless hallways, the tiny cells, identical to the one that had kept his only remaining family locked away for 15 years.

Such small details, like the locks on each door, or the cameras lining each corridor reminded him of every depressing memory that led up to that moment, but they also reminded him of why he was there in the first place. He needed to defend his city from criminals like the man who locked his father away. He needed to save people and get faster, stronger, so he could one day return home with his father in company.

Now, he had to deal with one of those criminals. Bursting into the visiting center, he instantly started reliving the first time he saw his father after he was confined. The exact table they sat at when his father hit him with the burning truth was right in front of his eyes. The table that somehow crushed all of his hope and stole all of his faith. He gaped at it, sorrow and misery and every other horrible emotion rammed into his brain. It was weird how such a conventional object, one that meant nothing to the ordinary eye, could have that much of an affect on him. He’d completely forgotten about the mission until he felt a searing heat strike his chest. The meta.

Barry was thrown back against the wall, and that’s when he saw her for the first time. She wore all black, but there were a few holes in the material, probably from being scorched by her own powers. Her hair was the same color as the clothing, sleek and straight, all accompanied by piercing crimson eyes, but what was really peculiar about her appearance was her skin. It was completely red, with third-degree burns running up and down her complexion. The blisters bubbled and pulsed as if they had minds of their own. It was a sickening sight.

“You come here to stop me, Flash?” She asked, breaking his attention from her image. The excruciation pain in his chest subsided slightly, but not by much. If Cisco hadn’t designed the suit to survive extreme heat, he would have been dead for sure. He was able to stand, nonetheless. “If you are, then I’m sorry to inform you that I will not stop until I carry out my desire.”

“And what is that desire, exactly?” Barry asked, stalling. He needed to regain his strength before he could go any further.

“My sister was murdered one year ago by this man,” The Magma Maiden continued. She turned her back to him and faced the other corner of the room. There stood a man, crouched in the intersection of the two walls. He was obviously an inmate from his attire; a grey prisoner jumpsuit, just like the one Barry’s father had been forced to wear. Being back in that prison reunited him with so many terrible memories.

The man spoke. “I swear, I didn’t mean to do it! I was just lighting a cigarette, I didn’t know it was gonna burn your house down!” He exclaimed. Barry actually found himself believing the guy.

“I don’t want an apology, I want revenge!” The meta yelled. She lifted her hands up above her head, about to use her powers. The man braced for impact, tears welling in his eyes. Barry knew how scared he must have been. Watching death’s ominous claws reaching towards you was not something you could easily get over. The feeling of imminent death was one of the worst thing in the world. 

The rogue stepped towards him, the scarlet liquid growing at her fingertips. Just then, before she had a chance to apply her powers, a voice rang out from down the hall. It was your voice. You called a name.

“David? David, are you here?”

The man, who Barry now assumed was David, looked alarmed. His eyes were wide and his mouth agape. Fear struck him like a bullet. He yelled back to you. “Y/N, stay back!” It probably wasn’t the most appropriate time to be thinking so, but Barry had never heard a name as beautiful as that. Y/N. It echoed in his mind, over and over.

You ignored the warnings and entered anyway. As soon as you did, Barry’s eyes went wide. You were the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen. Everything about you screamed perfection in his ears. You were so lovely, he almost forgot he could die any moment. Then your voice, which was also incredibly gorgeous, freed him from his trance.

“What the hell-” Your words caught in your throat when you surveyed the sight in front of you. The blistering surface of the Magma Maiden must’ve been an even worse display for you, since you didn’t have to experience the things Barry did everyday. Your eyes were glued to the woman’s skin as pieces of it flaked away, floating down to the ground. Shock crossed your features and you tried to back up slowly, but the meta ran up and grasped your neck before you could get away. Your staring upset her.

“You think I want to look like this? That I chose this?!” Her grip tightened, and your face turned purple. Veins popped from your skin as you struggled for breath, wheezing as your wind pipe’s circumference shrunk. Barry was about to make a move, but the meta stopped him. “You come any closer, she dies.” He froze. He didn’t even know this girl, yet seeing her in dangerous paralyzed him with fear. David began pleading with her.

“No! Please don’t hurt her!” He cried, tears in his eyes.

“Oh? And why not?” The meta asked through gritted teeth. You wouldn’t be able to hold on much longer. Your eyes were starting to fall shut.

“Because she’s my sister!”

Barry’s attention shifted to him. That was probably the worst thing he could have said. If this woman lost her sister because of him, she would undoubtedly kill his. Make him feel what she felt. An eye for an eye, a sister for a sister.

A wicked smile grew on the meta’s face and she threw you across the room, right in front of your brother. You laid still a few moments, and Barry assumed the worst. Then, your head lifted slightly and your shallow breaths filled the silence. The hot, thick air made it even harder to breathe, and the smell of ash hung in the atmosphere. your gasps continued, grabbing for air that wasn’t there. The Magma Maiden paraded forward. Her eyes glowed bright, the pupils and irises of each transforming into a pure white shade. Heat and power surged around her form, the lava creating a tornado that circled her body.

Barry yelled to her. “You don’t have to do this! He’s paying for what he did!”

The meta turned her head ever so slightly, just so Barry could see the side of her face, her vile grin still present. Eyes searing and hands sizzling, she replied. “He hasn’t paid enough.”

Her hands shot up into the air, and the scarlet substance grew at her fingertips. The stream of lava flew toward you, but Barry was not about to let you die. The world slowed around him and he ran to you. He scooped you up in his arms, and rushed you outside the facility. In his slow motion view, he finally got a good look at you. You truly were beautiful. He dropped you at the front gates and obviously didn’t have the time to say much, but he felt the need to speak to you. “Stay here.” That was all he could think of before racing back inside.

The Magma Maiden towered over David, her powers primed to end his life. “If I can’t have your sister, I guess you’ll have to do.” She settled. Barry made it back just in time to shove her out of the way before she could do so. Her back hit the wall and she slid down it, but her ability wasn’t disabled. With an angered grunt she shot magma at Barry, but he was able to dodge it. While he was somewhat distracted, the meta swept her leg up under his, and sent him falling to the ground. She jammed her foot into his stomach once she was on her feet again and left him groaning in pain on the floor. The evil smile that had sent shivers up Barry’s spin had returned as she strode back over to David.

“Looks like Central City’s little scarlet speedster can’t save you now.” She taunted him. Just then, Barry heard Cisco’s voice burst through his suit’s speaker.

“Bro, do you see those pipes running up the wall to your left?” Barry looked around the room as fast as he could. He didn’t have much time. As soon as he found the huge gray channels, Cisco continued. “Those puppies hold over 300 psi of water. You rupture one of them, Magma would be out like a light.”

All he had to do was break a pipe? That would be way easier than trying to fight a human volcano. Plus, Barry had an idea of how he could do it. He jumped to his feet. “Hey, hot-head!” He shouted across the room. If he could get one of her blast close enough to one of the pipes, it would most likely explode. He just needed her attention.

Magma didn’t take well to the nickname. She looked even more enraged than she did before. “Don’t you dare call me that!” She drifted toward Barry, thankfully facing him and not David anymore. To say she looked scary was an understatement. Teeth bared and eyes glowing, she looked murderous. Barry had slowly circled around the room so he was directly in front of the pipe. Just one outburst was all it required to stop her. But he believed in second chances, and before he put her away into the pipeline, he was going to give her one.

“Listen, I know this man hurt you. I know he took something from you that you won’t ever be able to replace. I lost someone important to me, too, but I didn’t succumb to the hate and anger I felt. You’ve been given something special, a gift, but with this gift comes a choice. Do you really want to be the bad guy here, or do you want to use your powers for good?” That was the best argument he could compel, now all he needed was her decision.

For a split second, and a split second only, Barry saw her actually consider his offer, but then the contemplation in her eyes was gone. “I want this man dead. That’s my choice.” With a loud roar, she sent what must have been over fifty gallons of lava hurtling for Barry’s face. He stepped out of the way, and the magma burnt right through the pipes.

Water spurt everywhere and steam filled the room, making it next to impossible to see. The meta screamed and fell to the floor, unconscious and unable to use her powers. Barry stood over her, triumphant, then spoke to Cisco. “We got her.” He said, smiling to himself. He picked her up and started his most likely 15 second trek back to S.T.A.R. Labs. But before he ran, he remembered the girl, David’s sister, you. You needed to know that your brother was okay, and Barry definitely wasn’t using that as an excuse to see you again…

He bolted out of the prison, the Magma Maidens limp body still in his arms. It was going to be a bit awkward talking to you with an inert woman in his arms, but he didn’t really have anywhere else to put her. As he sprinted by, he saw multiple cops infiltrating the facility, though they wouldn’t have much to do except return the prisoner to his cell. They had also relocated you to the back of an ambulance. Barry stopped in his tracks once he saw you. A medic was circling around, trying to help with the bruises on your neck. You shooed her away, though the injury looked like it needed attention. Just from that, Barry could tell you were a fighter.

The medic gave up and turned around, and Barry saw that as the perfect opportunity to whoosh you away. He grabbed your hand, which was really difficult because he still had the metahuman in his arms, but he managed to find a way. Air rushed by as he ran the two of you to a secluded area. It was a small forest, just outside the prisons boundaries.

Once he was far enough in the woodland, he came to a stop. Dirt and fallen leaves sprung up into the air from the sudden motion, and some even got into your hair. Your reaction to abruptly moving at superhuman speed was priceless, and Barry couldn’t help but smile at how adorable you looked. Your eyes were as wide as the moon, your hair a complete mess with strands flying in every direction. But somehow, you still managed to look beautiful.

Your eyes fell on Barry, and you started to ramble in disbelief. “How did… What was-”

“Hey, it’s okay. Look at me, you’re fine. Your gonna be fine.” He set the Magma Maiden on the ground for the moment, and reached out to take your hands. He looked you straight in the eye, forgetting to conceal his identity. That would probably come back to bite him in the butt later, but at that moment, he didn’t care.

A haunted look formed on your feature. “My brother, is he…?” You trailed off.

“No, no. You brother is okay. I was able to stop her before she caused any real damage.” He reassured you.

You stood still for a moment, at a loss for words. Barry could see you were grateful, he could also see you did not know how to express how indebted you were. Your eyes closed briefly, and once they opened again, they were polished with tears. Barry didn’t know what came over him. He just felt a sudden urge, an urge to comfort you. He dropped your hands, and wrapped his arms around you.

Tears fell from your eyes as you buried you face in his chest. He felt happiness, not only for being able to save the day once again, but because he saved you and was there to help you, a girl he didn’t even know. Rescuing people always came with a sense of pride and triumph, but none felt quite like that.

Love at first sight was never something Barry ever thought he’d believe in, but now he wasn’t so sure…

- - - - - - - - - -

It happened about three days after that fight at Iron Heights. Barry couldn’t get the thought you out of his head. Your image of you was stuck to the front of his brain, not willing to budge. Whenever he closed his eyes, he saw you. He saw your beautiful eyes, your gorgeous hair. He regretted not getting the chance to see you smile before he returned you to the ambulance, where he then told you to let them treat the bruises on your neck. Not everyone had super fast healing.

Barry had taken the Magma Maiden back to S.T.A.R. Labs where she would be spending the rest of her days and nights. Dr. Wells had said he had been working on a way to remove her powers and those of all the super-criminals, but that didn’t seem to be his first priority. He was mainly focused on improving Barry’s speed, for whatever reason.

Once he’d gotten back from the mission, Cisco seem particularly interested in what happened.

“You took pretty long getting back here, what was that about?” He asked, raising an eyebrow as they walked into the cortex.

“Oh, uh, nothing. I just had to take care of some… stuff.” Barry replied.

A small smirk appeared on his face, “What kind of ‘stuff’?” Cisco had been watching the fight as it went down from the security cameras. He saw the way Barry looked at you, and he knew something was up.

Barry sighed and rolled his eyes. “The guy the meta was after had a sister, I was just informing her that her brother was all right.”

“Did you get her number?” Cisco asked eagerly.

“No, I didn’t think to ask for it as she sobbed in my arms.” He replied.

“You should’ve Han Solo’d her. Laid down the charm.” Cisco wiggled his eyebrows.

Barry rolled his eyes once again. His friends were crazy and insane, but that was a good thing. Getting superpowers wasn’t even half of what he’d been so fortunate to have, he just didn’t feel as favored when he was forced to say goodbye to you. Through all the luck and riches there always seemed to be a shadow, a shadow that held all the misfortune he could ever ask for. Like the death of his mom, or his father being imprisoned, or losing you.

Barry had went out to Jitters, to clear his mind. The warm atmosphere of the coffee shop always calmed his nerves. Three days, and you were still the topic of conversation in his mind. No matter where he went or how fast he ran, he couldn’t get away from the thought of you. You were constantly roaming his mind, reminding him of the hardship that was the fact he’d never get to see you again.

As he entered the cafe, he kept his eyes down, not really in the mood to talk to anyone who might recognize him. He just wanted to be alone for the time being. A gust of warm air greeted him at the door, as well as the fixed scent of freshly brewed coffee. Inhaling the pleasant smell, Barry walked to the counter. At that time of night the place was usually empty, most people preferring night clubs over a coffee shop.

There were only two or three people in the room, all of whom were on their personal devices, whether it was a phone, a tablet, or a laptop. Barry thought back to the time he met Martin Stein for the first time. He was definitely right about being the only millennial to still read actual books.

Barry had been so caught up in his own memories, he didn’t realize the barista at the counter was trying to get his attention.

“Hello, sir? Would you like to order a drink? We’re closing soon.”

That voice. He recognized that voice. It was the same one that had been tumbling around his skull for the past three days, the one who’s sobs he stifled that night. It was your voice. The one he’d been longing to hear for what seemed like a century.

Then he saw your eyes, your beautiful, radiant eyes. They looked twenty time more gorgeous now since they had been drained of tears. You weren’t smiling though. Barry couldn’t imagine how much more incredible you must’ve looked while smiling.

He got lost in his thoughts again and stood silent, awkwardly gawking at your face. You stared back narrow-eyed. “Sir? Can I help you?”

Barry’s eyebrows shot up as he was welcomed back to reality. “Wha- Oh, yeah. I’ll have a decaf latte.” He replied, handing you a few dollars and blinking a couple times. He couldn’t believe his eyes. The girl that ruled his mind, the one he didn’t even know, the one he thought he’d never see again was right there in front of him.

You turned away to start working on his order, leaving him to think. What were the odds that the girl he couldn’t stop thinking about, a total stranger, just happened to work at his favorite coffee shop? How come he’d never seen you there before? You must’ve been new.

After a minute or two, you spun back around, placing the freshly brewed drink before him. “Enjoy,” You said with a tight smile.

“Thanks,” He muttered, still in awe, his voice almost too weak to even escape his throat. One of the red chairs in the room summoned him and he took a seat, sipping the coffee. He made sure he could still see you from where he sat. After not seeing you for what felt like a decade, he was not going to take his eyes off of you. Seeing you in a non-life-or-death situation calmed him, and finally let him see just how amazing you were.

He’d spent the rest of that night watching you, in a non-stalkerish way, of course. He would catch glimpses of you every few minutes, trying to pass the time by seeing how many times you would twirl a piece of your hair out of boredom. It was starting to become a game. You would lean behind the counter, biting your lip and playing with your locks. The bruises on your neck had vanished, and Barry was happy to know that you were completely healed.

Even though he knew next to nothing about you, he felt like he needed you in his life. He needed to have you show up at some point in his day, just as another reminder for why he does what does.

There was no logical explanation for what Barry began doing after that night. He started going to Jitters every single night, just so he could see you. Always ordering the same drink, and always sitting in the same chair. It became a habit. Never talking to you once, he would get his coffee, then sit and admire you.

One time, after being there every night that week, Barry showed up at Jitters yet again, going through the normal routine. He ordered, sat, watched. Little did he know, you had noticed his pattern.

You strutted up to him, and thankfully the shop was empty at the time, so you could be as vocal as you wanted. “Listen pal, I don’t know what your game is, but I need you to stay away from me.”

Barry was in a trace before you approached him, glancing at your frame and all your features. You were perfect to him. His mouth opened and closed, trying to form coherent words. “Wha-”

He wasn’t able to get out his sentence before you interrupted. “Don’t play dumb with me. I’ve seen you in here every night since the first time you came. You just sit down and watch me. I don’t need some creepy guy stalking me, so back off.”

Barry’s assumption about you being a fighter had been right. Your hands were on your hips, your eyebrows raised, a frown on your face. You were confident and strong and got straight to the point, but he really did not want you to think he was some random sicko. “I-I’m so sorry. I saw you the other day and you just were so beautiful and I couldn’t stop myself-” He rambled on for a few more seconds, not making any logical sentences besides ‘I’m sorry’ multiple times. “I swear I’m not a creep.” He finished when he finally got control of his mind.

“You sure act like one.” You replied, and Barry sensed a hint of irritation in your voice.

“I know what this looks like, but I promise I’m not a stalker. Just hear me out. Please.” He begged. He felt like his heart was about to explode. Never in his life had he experienced a connection so deep to someone, especially at first glance, and he’d only know you existed a little while ago. His heart raced at the thought of you, his mouth dried at the sight of you. He was not about to lose the person who could potentially be the love of his life. “Okay, um… Is there anyway I can prove to you that I’m not a rapist? W-Why don’t I take you out on a date?” It was a long shot, but he was willing to take the chance.

A thoughtful look overtook your features as you debated whether or not to trust him. Barry was hoping with all his might that you’d say yes, although he had kind of been stalking you for the past week. Would you really trust him, a guy that for all you know could be total lunatic?

You thought for a little while longer, then sighed. “Fine, you are pretty cute, but if you try anything suspicious, I will run like the wind.” A smile tugged at your lips, as well as his.

He then realized he never actually introduced himself. “I’m Barry, by the way.” He said extending a hand, his grin only broadening.

“Y/N.” You replied shaking it.

I know, He thought.

Suddenly, he felt no remorse for going to the prison that night, even if he had a tough day. He actually felt quite lucky that that meta attacked, because if she hadn’t Barry would never have met the love of his life. He must’ve had all the luck in the world that day.

2

bedtime story:

“Each time I’m asked to tell about myself, I find myself starting the same way: ‘My name is Kelsey and I’m nineteen…’
but what I’d really like to say is:
‘My name means island of the ships but once
I found a translation that said I’m a burning shipwreck-
not a burning ship but a ship that has caught fire
after the wreckage and well, I’d say that’s more fitting.’

I’ve learned that people don’t have time for ‘about me’s’ .
They need two things: a name and an indication you’re someone special.

The doctors, they want facts not details.
‘I broke my leg when I was three, it’s a funny story actually-’
The right or the left?
Conversation over.

The teachers, they want interests, hobbies.
You’re sad, yes, but what do you like to do?

The adults are a spew of questions.
What school do you go to? What classes are you taking?
What do you plan on becoming? Got a boyfriend?
No, stop.

People my own age are the worst.
‘I’m planning on an English degree with a concentration in creative writing.’
Yeah, aren’t we all. So how many times have you, you know, done it?

I’m pulled apart, my interests traveling highway 2
my goals at a stop light at traffic hour,
my medical history on a billboard for the world to see.
But what about me?

Where’s the chance to say,
‘I hang on to fistfuls of poetry like loose change in my pockets,
and I keep waiting for the day that the world turns upside down
so I can swim with the stars.
I’m not afraid of darkness, it’s a loneliness I can empathize with.
It’s the black-holes like cigarette burns inside of me that get troublesome.
I walk through graveyards and read the dashes between years,
each a story I’ll never know. Sometimes I create my own.’

No wonder none of us know who we are anymore.”

—Kelsey Danielle, I Was Told to Write an About Me and This is What Happened

photos by Rachel Baran

anonymous asked:

Natalie! Do you have any other Harry fanfics to recommend? I've read all the ones in your rec list hahaha

Thank you for specifying that you have gone through my rec list ALRIGHT OKAY here are some fics that are not on my official rec list that I have either started reading since or have been meaning to read that have been updating recently/are complete (if I get any of the details in the following summaries wrong writers my apologies pls let me know and I will remedy this)

(also, here is an incredible list Natasha made for Harry’s birthday of a ton of Harry fics for yr perusal)

Keep reading

Flicker of Hope: Rick x Reader

Ooh look I finally made the jump to The Walking Dead! Of course Gotham will still be my main fandom to write for but I thought I’d add a few TWD stories to the mix; especially since my Negan/OC story over on FanFiction is getting a good reception thus far! If you’d like to see more TWD from me, let me know!

I was listening to a lot of really angsty songs at the time so this little fic kind of just…happened? Like I just thought, you know what, let’s have a pretty short but pretty emotional fic. Idek, hopefully you enjoy :)

*I guess this is pretty sad actually so you’ve been warned like*

Originally posted by riddlvr

Keep reading

Real moment. In the ways I used to think, in terms of my legalistic, old way of thinking, I am getting worse. I curse more, cry more, drink more, post less ‘Christiany’ quotes, and wonder what the heck I’m doing with my life and why in the world could there possibly be so much pain in this world and ask ‘why, God??’ and 'I don’t understand!’ and “what is the deal!?’ more. (just being honest). In my old ways of thinking, I’ve certainly strayed off the path that leads to righteousness. But in the ways of grace, I am learning that I am becoming whole. The shallow has vanished and all that has been left is the deep anguish of my soul and hallelujah, I can finally be real - I am broken too. For all the anger and confusion and sadness I’ve found in the world, I’ve also learned that loving Jesus is not about becoming good or climbing a metaphorical ladder to purity within the Christian life. My pious, devoted, "good” ways were tainted with a subconscious, subtle striving, a need to please, a need to portray that the standard of a good Christian could be achieved and that my brokenness could be mended by my inner strength. I was left wrecked, having given more than I had, in debt to myself and hopeless that my striving was me running around in a circle. 

 Then grace came and I was allowed to be vulnerable and too much and not enough and allowed to have a lack and thus allowed to be free. And I feel loved by him. I could weep with the authenticity I can say that with that I could never have understood before. I am not better than I was, but I feel so utterly loved by Jesus that I don’t care anymore. I feel like I actually, genuinely can love others. Because brokenness never goes away and pain exists in the worst way and we never get better in the shallow sense of the word, but we, hand in hand, go deeper into Jesus’ grace. A grace that acknowledges the darkness of life, and how it can really just suck…but a grace that also redeems all things, that mends the brokenness and gives hope and love in the midst. I feel like, even in my whys and confusion and sin, this whole thing makes sense. Pain and anger and sadness and joy and everything that has happened to my family and to me and to everyone makes sense in the light of the cross and grace is all there is. Jesus loves me, this I know and it’s finally all I know and that simplicity brings such peace.

THE THINGS THAT HAVEN’T CHANGED

I like to evolve my opinions based on new information, but I have to say, very little has changed for me since the stunts started being SO extra in late 2015/early 2016. As always, these are my opinions not facts.

  1. Louis Tomlinson’s attitude towards children. This has always been my single biggest piece of evidence. Look up every expression around kids NOT named Freddie and you will see one version of Louis Tomlinson. He threw a charity ball for terminally ill children for crying out loud. Look at his face. Look at his face with Ernie and Doris. Then look at his face with “Freddie.” I can hear the Sesame Street song, “one of these things is not like the other.”
  2. These Stunts Go to 11. They have since the Big Gay Yacht from Hell. Nothing about this stunt is made to look organic. EVERYTHING is extra. I firmly believe this is done on purpose.
  3. Go Boom. Something big is coming. This whole shenanigan is building towards something. My theory is that it has always been a New Team production meant to call out the very worst in Simon’s tactics and change the world for the better. I think they’re out to actually CHANGE THE WORLD. That takes time. And some broken eggs.
  4. Not Louis’ baby. There is some combination of real baby actors (yes, being paid) and baby dolls that are “Freddie” to the public. I’ve gone back and forth about Briana being pregnant and I just really don’t see how it’s possible in light of all the overwhelming evidence. I don’t believe there is a baby being exploited.
  5. Louis and Harry are in charge. They’re being supported by the New Team (I believe to be Azoff). They’re not being acted upon. As I said, they’re out to CHANGE THE WORLD.
  6. It’s not about me. What Harry and Louis choose to do and how they choose to navigate this moment isn’t about me. I don’t believe they’re doing anything “to us.”
  7. I will not fault them for fighting for their freedom. Plus, they’re not just fighting for themselves (which would be enough), they’re fighting for the freedom of every artist to be who they are. That is a BIG DEAL.