actually the best day of my life

When I had you it didn’t feel like anything was ever wrong, even when it was. Every other part of my life could have been falling apart but when I was with you, it still felt like everything was okay. You allowed me to ignore the fact that I hated my job because knowing I got to come home to you got me through the work day. And I thought this was a blessing but it was actually just keeping me from making the changes in my life that I needed to make. I didn’t try to make a life I’d be happy with on my own because you were the best part of my life and I thought I’d always have you. But this was self destructive because you were my strongest painkiller, you didn’t actually make everything better, you just made it feel like it was.
Friends With Benfits

Pairing: Stuart x Reader

Author: @ninja-stiles

Warnings: holy lord, a lot of sin.

Words: 3627

Author’s Note: This is the first smut I’ve written that’s actually one of Dyl’s characters, and I love Stuart so I picked him. I got the idea from my best bb Caitlin. Thanks to @dumbass-stilinski for reading it over, proofreading, and lurking around when I was writing it last night. Hope you all enjoy!

Originally posted by teenwolf--imagines

Y/N’s POV


I’ve known Stuart for literally most of my life and ever since he’s left for college we haven’t had the chance to meet up and see each other. A lot of people don’t really know this, but Stuart was ultimately the one who took my virginity. A few days after that night, we couldn’t stand being away from each other, and managed to find our way into his bed again. That night, he made me cum so many times that I lost count. They way his hands, lips, and tongue felt on my warm skin it easily became addictive, especially that wonderful cock of his. For not having sex that many times he really knows what he’s doing and I’m loving it, so much that he’s ruined it for other guys. After so many times that we had fucked we decided to become friends with benefits, none of us declared the whole “no strings attached” rule, because I’ve honestly had a crush on him since we were kids, I just don’t know how he feels about me. It’s been about four or five months since me and Stuart have fucked and I’m going through major withdrawals.

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Nothin’ like a good old milkshake pozol date ♥ ♥ ♥

I have other things planned for the actual 14th, but in case helping my sister with her wedding shopping prevents me from completing the other stuff I wanted to do, consider this my early celebration pic. Happy chocolate-! I mean Valentine’s day!

Becoming Queer

When I was 8 I was obsessed with Disney’s Aladdin. Not just the original movie, but both of it’s poorly made sequels too. I watched them everyday after school while I drew pictures in our basement TV room, simultaneously fixated on their adventures and creating my own on paper.

I remember being absolutely in awe of how handsome Aladdin was, but also of the beauty of Princess Jasmine. They were the most attractive people I could ever imagine existing.

When I was 10 my mom gave me an American Girl book all about puberty and the female body. I only read through the whole thing once, but I left it close to my bed because of the one page I looked at nearly everyday.

It was one of the sections of the book on bodily changes throughout puberty– body hair, periods, etc. At the bottom of was a picture of several girls in front of a mirror, completely naked, to illustrate the different sizes and shapes of breasts. I was absolutely fascinated by these girls: the soft curves of their hips, their round and full breasts, the way their thighs came together. Despite their cartoonish nature, this was the closest I’d come to seeing a grown girl’s body. It was foreign and beautiful to me.

Somehow, I knew this wasn’t normal, so I always hid the book after I was done in case mom asked why I still had it.

When I was 12 I found my self distracted in classroom discussion circles looking at girls chests and lips and thighs. Every time I caught myself I’d immediately look down at my lap and blush. I’d learned by now that it wasn’t normal for girls to look at other girls like that, what it meant to be gay. But I’d eventually find my eyes wandering again, my thoughts focused on how beautiful one of my female classmates was.

I remember walking down the hallway one day mentally reciting “you can’t be a lesbian, you like boys… every girl must look at each other like this.”

When I was 13 one of the girls that I clung to during PE (because they were just as repulsed by physical exertion as I was) told us she was bisexual. This was the first time I’d been told someone could be attracted to boys and girls at the same time. It was confusing and enlightening at the same time.

I remember she put her arms around my shoulders once, during badminton week, her face inches from mine. It made me nervous, but in a way that I’d never felt before. My stomach had dropped, and I didn’t know why. It wasn’t like the fear I’d felt from scary movies and my dad yelling at me, but it wasn’t quite like when I felt exhilarated from riding a rollercoaster or binging on sugar with my friends… it was something in between, and entirely new.

I’d told my mom about it and she immediately wanted to call the principal and make sure the girl didn’t touch me like that again. That scared me, her reacting like that. I started acting repulsed by the girl afterwards, telling my friends she had flirted with me even though I wasn’t entirely sure she had, how weird it was and how weird she was.

Looking back, I probably wish that she had been flirting with me.

When I was 14 I was acquainted with the first queer couple I’d ever met. They were in theatre with me, and I’d been wanting them to start dating for months. At this point I’d stopped acting weirded out by gay people and claiming that bisexual people were “selfish and should just pick a side already.” I openly showed my support for gay people, citing my theatre friends of examples of how “normal” they could be.

I walked in on the couple in the dressing room one rehearsal, shocked to see them making out. I stood in the doorway a moment, then walked out without either of them seeing me.

I thought about their kiss for the whole day, wondering how their relationship worked, what it was like to date someone of the same gender as you. I was dating a boy at the time, my first boyfriend and the one that would create fear and an inability to trust for my entire high school career when he started abusing me. I wondered if this couple’s relationship could be anything like ours.

When I was 15 I joined Tumblr. I’d just moved from Michigan to Alabama, had my heart broken by my abusive boyfriend furthering the pain he was inflicting by cheating on me, and was just beginning to realize that I had an eating disorder with no idea how to feel about it or whether or not I wanted it to go away.Tumblr became a place for me to escape all this into “fandoms” and “fitblrs” and personal posts from strangers I didn’t know but whose lives intrigued me. It was on Tumblr that I first encountered the word “pansexual.” I was 16.

I was intrigued and slightly obsessed with the concept of it, pansexuality. I’d only just begun to learn about transgender and heard rumors of other genders outside of men and women, and being attracted to all of them or being “genderblind” seemed impossible, but incredible. I spent months randomly researching sexual orientation and transgender people before finally adopting the term as my own.

Though, it was only in my head that I claimed pansexuality as my own. I didn’t want to tell anyone… not because I was ashamed so much, I’d forgotten that stigma several years ago, but more because I was afraid that I only wanted to be pansexual, not that I actually was.

After all, if only ever been in relationships with boys at that point. How could I know if I was actually attracted to other genders if I’d never dated them?

When I was 17 I got my first crush on a girl. I didn’t recognize that that was my motive at the time, but I was constantly staring at her in the two classes we shared, payed special attention when she spoke, and the day she announced that she had a Tumblr I made it my goal to be a part of her life.

By winter we were best friends. By summer I’d begun to realize the extent of my feelings for her. The first time I got drunk at 19 I blurted out that I thought about making out with her all the time. I told her how I felt at 20, 3 years of pining later.

She told me she didn’t feel the same.

When I was 18 and in my first year of college, I binge watched all of Laci Green’s videos on YouTube, deciding that it was time I figured out how my body and how sex worked. Through her I found not only the courage to masturbate for the first time, but my first confrontation with “third genders.”

I obsessively studied nonbinary genders, claiming to just be interested in them, giving speeches and presentations on them for class, messaging nonbinary people to ask about their experiences. I came to accept that I identified with this term the summer of my sophomore year of college.

When I was 18 I also came out to my dad. I’d already come out to my close friends, sisters, and mother at this point– all giving me generally positive responses. This was not the case with my dad.

We were fighting in the kitchen, something that had become a regular thing since I’d started expressing my feminist and liberal beliefs. He was making homophobic comments and I guess I must of have been very clearly upset by this, because he asked, “do you have a problem with that?”

To which I responded, “Yeah, because I like girls, dad!”

My outburst led to two and a half years of him telling me that my identity was fake, a scheme to get attention, that all I believed was a result of my being brainwashed at college and my own self delusion. The full force my panic, bipolar disorder, and depression came out during this time. The first time I thought of killing myself was when he threatened to kick me out and cut me off from my sisters if I didn’t stop with this “feminazi LGBT bullshit.”

When I was 19 I started dating one of my best friend from high school– a boy, but pansexual like myself, I felt like this was the first queer relationship I’d been in.

He told me he didn’t want a monogamous relationship, that he identified as polyamorous– which I knew because this was one of the reasons his last relationships hadn’t worked out. Thinking I wouldn’t fall as desperately in love with him as I did, I agreed to an open relationship.

Two months into the relationship and much research and self reflection later, I’d come to accept that I was also polyamorous and I never wanted a monogamous relationship again.

When I was 20 a girl on Tumblr reblogged a set of selfies that I’d posted, exclaiming in the tags about how handsome I was. I took one look at her blog, saw the profile picture of her staring directly at the camera with intense blue eyes and an expression impossible to read, and immediately followed and messaged her my thanks.

We started messaging frequently, talking about such expansive and random things, things I’d never talked about with anyone. Soon we were messaging everyday and I began to realize how hard I was falling. I wanted her, I wanted her so badly.

I hadn’t had a crush on a girl that’d worked out in my favor and I was constantly pining for a girlfriend. I loved my boyfriend, I was still attracted to men and non-feminine genders, but I felt not only “too straight” to be queer at that point, but also like I was missing some sort of affection in my life that only a feminine partner could fill. And I was beginning to wonder if this girl was the person who could finally end my wanting.

The only problem with this girl was that she lived an ocean away from me, in Denmark to be specific. But my feelings became so strong that I couldn’t just be silent anymore: I told her I liked her.

She said she felt the same.

Today, March 2nd, 2017, Hayley Kiyoko released the music video for her single “Sleepover.” It wrecked me.

Hayley has become someone that I not only admire, but someone who makes me feel so validated in who I am. A mixed, Japanese American, queer girl in love with art and comfy clothing. Before Hayley, I’d never felt like there was anyone in the media who was even remotely like me. With great music and a connection I’d never felt in any other celebrity before, I became an avid fan. So naturally, when the video for “Sleepover” was released it only took me minutes to find it on YouTube and watch.

The music video was so much more than I could have anticipated, actualizing all my experiences as a queer feminine person, admiring from a far, living in my head with my fantasies and no hope of ever being able to experience them in reality. With this video I was thrown back into all the years I spent confused and afraid of how I felt and who I was, all the girls I wanted to be with but knew they couldn’t work out, or didn’t work out even when I tried. And as melancholy as these thoughts were at first, it pushed me to the realization:

I love who I’ve become. I love that I’m queer.

And despite how grueling the process of it all has been, I wouldn’t trade all that heartache for a normal life if I could. I wouldn’t give it all up to be the straight girl with no struggles or worries about who she loved as I once believed I would. Even with the pain that it had brought, becoming queer has made me the person I am today.

And I love that person, even if there are still rough edges to be smoothed, I am finally unafraid of who I am.

John and Sherlock both mutually agree to not have any Big Plans for Valentine’s Day. This is a relief for both of them- each case they’ve been on the for past week has been some Valentine-themed gimmick, and Sherlock thinks he’ll scream if he sees one more heart shaped box of chocolates. “The chocolates are poisoned. Jealous ex posing as a secret admirer. Really. Stop looking at me like that, if you dare give this a stupid title, I’ll-”

So, they go to bed with the promise that the most eventful thing happening the following day will be a massive takeaway, the extra portions the only hint that it’s a special occasion.

Except, when Sherlock wakes, John is not there. He stretches and rolls into John’s spot in bed- still warm. Can’t have wandered far then. He rolls back over to his side, and that’s when his head brushes against something on his pillow, a slight rustling sound. 

Sherlock frowns and sits up. Lying on his pillow is a small brown envelope, just the word Sherlock written on it with a ballpoint pen. Sherlock smiles at how the r and l loop together into a smudge, the ink not sympathetic to John being left-handed. 

He picks up the envelope and turns it over. And then, on the back, is written one last thing: S.W.A.L.K. It rings some sort of bell, and Sherlock thinks for a moment, before it comes to him:

Sealed

With 

Loving

Kiss

Sherlock’s stomach gives a pleasant little jolt, and while Sherlock does indeed know that John is very much a romantic, sometimes it still takes him by surprise. He breathes in and opens the envelope.

But, instead of a card, it’s a sheaf of papers, diligently folded over and over again so they could fit inside. Slowly, Sherlock unfolds them:

Dear Sherlock,

         Hello there. Thought you’d be a bit sick of the sight of cards after All That (sorry-can’t deny the public a pun in the blog title). So. I thought I’d try something different. 

I love you. And I’m going to tell you that, today, and tomorrow and every day to come. But here’s when I wanted to say it. Before.

God, I am actually really nervous about this. I hope it’s not- too much. Anyway. You’re sleeping like a log right now. Read this and then we can maybe get breakfast from the café?

Yours,

John.

Feeling a little light-headed, Sherlock turns the page over. And here, here are more words, a whole wonderful screed:

When I thought ‘I love you’ but didn’t say it (I’m sorry)

We’re laughing against the wall and it’s the best night of my life, and you smile with your eyes lighting up the whole world and tell me “Says the man at the door.”

When you opened that fortune cookie and it landed in your drink and I pretended not to notice.

When you thought no-one was watching and you helped that little girl who’d lost her parents during rush hour. (I was watching you from the window). 

When you didn’t run at the pool.

When you stole that ashtray.

The words blur on the page and Sherlock has to stop reading. He blinks and blinks and doesn’t mind if the occasional stray tear falls, not really. He knows, God how he knows John finds these sorts of things ‘difficult’ and the fact that he pushed past it all, and poured out… everything. It- it means- he can’t quite-

Sherlock’s fingers trace over John’s words, taking their time. “Me too,” Sherlock whispers. “I love you.”

He carefully sets the papers down, ready to find his John, ready to seal the start of the day with a very loving kiss of his own indeed.

THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE SO FAR UNTIL TOMORROW WHEN HARRY POSTS THE SINGLE ART COVER AND THEN THAT WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE UNTIL THE ACTUAL SINGLE RELEASE

ch. 1

Bad Habits || Jaebum

Originally posted by jjaenyoung

(THIS GIF IS SO HOT LIKE !!!!!!)

Reader (you) x Jaebum

Word Count: 1398

Warnings: none :)

note: i re-wrote this chapter i think 12321 times and idk if i’m completely satisfied with it BUT HERE IT IS! THE FIRST CHAPTER OF MAFIA!JB. hope you guys enjoy it and yeah…. happy reading and take care! -admin


Nighttime had always been the time when the demons came out to play; to bring out the worst in some people.Others may describe the night as downtown being lit up by the neon colors of the clubs and bars, shining on the rain-kissed sidewalks. However, in the night, I could be anybody and no-one would care who I really was.

My heels clicked on the sidewalk as I pulled my jacket closer to my body. As I passed by people, I observed their cheerful behavior and smiled. It reminded me of home of when I used to hang around my friends, laughing my head off like how these people were. However, moving to Korea alone was the result of my smile fading away. I wish I had friends here who I could go out with at night to bond over a drinks or share stories of our past. But all of them were at home and I was alone.

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What Happens Next by lululawrence for @someonethatsfunny

“So anyway,” Louis said on a yawn, making Harry yawn as well.  “What can I do for you?”

“Uhm.  Well, I was wondering how a free vacation sounded to you.”

Harry knew he had Louis’ attention fully because his voice suddenly sounded much more alert.

“I’d say you’re trying to sell me something, because nothing in life is free.  However, I am listening.”

Or a fic where Harry has to pick up the pieces and ends up on the couples cruise that should have been his honeymoon…with his best friend Louis.

Jessminda!!!  Happy early birthday!  I hope your actual day is filled with flailing and drinking wine and crying in celebration of Harry’s single, but until then I hope this helps you celebrate you being wonderful.  hugs, darling!

I know its not midnight there yet but it is here & i couldn’t wait any longer to show you this. This day last month we were lucky enough to spend our 3 months together which was by far one of the best days of my life. Even though this month, for our 4 months we can’t be physically together, I put some of our pictures & videos that we were lucky enough to have taken together. I cant believe it has been 4 months already since I watched that youtube video. I’m not going to write a big long message here because ill say it to you when its actually going to be midnight there but you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. You make me so happy & I will always be forever grateful for you. HAPPY 4 MONTHS MY LOVE!💙 I love you so much!

Hooked

Hooked | Guard

Series: Worth Fighting For

Note: Hey! This is Day 1 for write-a-thon! I’m kicking it off with part one to an amazing series that I’m super excited for. Like, seriously, I’m so fucking excited to share this series with you guys. I really enjoyed writing it. Also, I’m gonna try to incorporate boxing terms into each title for this series…I’m gonna fail, but might as well try lmao.

Word Count: 3623

Pairing: Thomas Jefferson x Reader

AU: Boxing

Warnings: No smut…yet.

Summary: Thomas Jefferson, a world-famous boxer who is pegged as a self-centered asshole that has everything — good looks, fame, fortune, talent — trains for his big fight against Alexander Hamilton. When he moves to Washington D.C. to be closer to his family, he meets someone who will look past his outer shell and get to know the real him.

“The #2 pound-for-pound fighter and current world cruiserweight champion, Thomas Jefferson is rumored to have moved to the DC Metro Area for personal reasons. Many are wondering how this is going to affect his preparations for his big match in three months when he defends his title against newcomer Alexander Hamil–”

Thomas turned off the TV with a sigh. He was sick of this. The media never gave him a break; they were always up in his business, exposing everything that went on in his personal life for profit. Thomas felt like he never had a break from anything. But then again, he wasn’t supposed to be taking it easy. He was supposed to be training for a huge fight he had in three months, but instead he was in his new, half-unpacked apartment in the center of D.C.

Thomas’ thoughts were interrupted by his phone ringing in his right pocket. He groaned as soon as he saw the caller ID before he pressed the green button, holding it up to his ear.

“What?” Thomas snapped, somehow already annoyed with the person on the other line.

“What the hell are you doing in D.C.?”

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2

dragcon was amazing!!! best day of my life so far.

mini story time: so today was actually my school’s prom and obviously i didn’t go, so therefore i kindly asked Katya (queen on the left) to see if we can pose like a cliche prom couple ready for the night, and she immediately said, “oh of course!” it was definitely an experience i’ll never forget.💜 

  • yoongi, half asleep: uh, man, i wanna sleep some more...
  • hoseok: what if i told you're still dreaming?
  • yoongi: lol really?
  • hoseok: yeah, this is a dream
  • yoongi: does that mean i can do whatever i want and it will have no harm in my actual real life?
  • hoseok: i guess
  • yoongi: oh
  • yoongi: hobi i think we need to have a serious conversation
  • yoongi: it's a dream anyway
  • yoongi: i want you to fuck me ok i know we're like best friends and i shouldn't be saying this but i've been passing my days horny because of you i think you might like it
  • hoseok: uh, dude
  • yoongi: what
  • hoseok: it's not a dream
  • hoseok: i was just playing with you
  • yoongi:
  • hoseok:
  • yoongi:
  • hoseok:
  • yoongi, a professional, pretending to be a sleepwalker waking up from an usual nap: DUDE GUESS WHAT I JUST HAD THE FUNNIEST DREAM
How to become a good student (again) 1: Slow down to speed up

Hello, fellow ex-good-student! 

If you’re anything like me, you feel this immense pressure on your shoulders, yes? You want to be good, you want to succed, you want to know more, but somehow -… somehow it just ain’t enough to actually get you to do something? Until the very last minute, that is, when all the pressure comes rushing down like a waterfall?

Ah, or perhaps that stress has driven you over the edge and you have achieved the next stage: being so stressed that you’re oddly calm again and nothing really fazes you anymore? Perhaps you have cynically accepted that this is just who you are now? Perhaps you say:

But somehow you fail to say it proudly. Somehow you’re just really unhappy with the state of things, but feel like you don’t give enough of a fuck to really change anything? 
Yes? Well, then this is the post for you!

Let me start with three observations that are less obvious than you might think: 

1) “Naturally” good students (NGS, so people, like you and me, who didn’t have to learn how to be good at school, but kinda slipped into it) are good thinkers. 

2) Good thinkers like to think.

3) Good thinkers are trouble-shooters. 

Got these three ideas lined up? Alright, let’s move on.

These two attitudes above, where do you think they come from? I’d argue it’s disillusionment. 

See, when I got to uni, I thought it would be like school - just WAY better. That would mean professors who fit their programmes around me, personally, who help my mind become sharper by letting it battle against just the right problems and getting taught how to really get to the bottom of life, to face the really Big Ideas, the Final Problems, the Why is the universe the way it is?s.
Instead, it turns out, uni is like summer holidays - just WAY worse. No one fits anything to you, personally, no one picks out just the right problems, no one connects subjects in just the way you’d like it. You’re thrown into a maelstrom of ideas and it’s up to you to do whatever the hell you’d like with them. You’re on your own, but not in the hero vs. bad guy-way, but it in the loner in a crowd-way. 

You quickly realize, uni is just a slightly filtered version of life in all its random glory and sadness. And I think that any student, anywhere, can have this epiphany at any given moment. You don’t need uni to suddenly look life in the eye and be overwhelmed by how sublime, how overwhelmingly huge it is and to realize: There’s no end goal (we know of). Just loads of open ends. An overwhelming amount of open ends, really. 

Now, what do I mean when I say that NGS (”naturally” good students) are trouble-shooters? I mean that we’re good at working well within systems. 
We like to be fed input, to take it apart, to analyze it and to see how you could perfect it even further. That’s why so many of us are drawn to video games or TV series or fictional worlds with their own reward system. We like to figure out patterns. That’s also why we were so good at school - school is a fairly easy system. 
Once you’ve seen through which lessons will be important for a test, once you notice how teachers stress certain things more than others, once you notice you really only need to pay attention in class and you’ll spare yourself so much trouble, once you notice that doing your homework actually does help, once you notice these few pillars of school, you’re set, man. 

I’d like to compare this to thinking on two different levels: a life-level (where you actually do stuff) and a meta-level (where you think about doing the stuff). My preferred analogy for this is a cube.

Ideally, you first figure out the shape of the cube (meta-level) and, once you’re comfortably settled into the system, you work within it (life-level). I’d say that most people operate this way, but NGS are …a little obsessed with this. The basic idea is that the system must first be perfect (or perfectly understood) before it is implemented, so it runs smoothly.  
This is what I mean when I say we’re trouble-shooters. We detect the trouble ahead of time and pew, pew, pew. And, as I said, this works with video games. And books. And school. And subjects. But life? Life looks a little more like this:

No one’s (yet) succeeded to fit life into this box. 
“But”, a little voice inside you says, “But I can try!” (and another, more smug voice, says “And who’s to say I’m not the one to succeed anyway?”)
And, well, I’ve got good news for you! You’ve already tried! That’s why you’re here. In limbo. 

You and I both, we’ve tried to figure out the perfect recipe for life. We tried to figure out when to best get up, when to best go to sleep, what the perfect conditions for studying are, what best to study in the first place, what artsy pursuits to keep doing to flex creativity, but to also focus on practical things and how to figure out the whole family and friends-thing and schedule it somewhere in between and maybe write a book or two. You’ve tried to create the box. I’ve tried to create the box. We both failed.
Let me show you a highly artistic representation of what your brain has looked like lately: 

Okay, fine, I’ll invest a bit more time:

There, that’s your mind. Pulling in every single direction. Is it really a surprise that you’re not going anywhere? Y’know this meme?

Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m talking about. Now, if you’re anything like me, you’ll have a whiny voice at the back of your head going “But picking fewer battles is defeat! I’m sure I’ll conquer it somehow!”
Well, then, let me mindslap you with the cold, hard truth: No. What you’re doing right now, that’s defeat. 

This?

This is DEFEAT. You’re not going anywhere and you’re disrespecting yourself, your mind and the subjects you’re interacting with by spending a fraction of a thought on them. You’re just using them as stepping stones. They deserve better. You deserve better. That’s why you fail to say it proudly. You know that, at some point, you looked at the big, huge mess that is life, realized “I won’t figure this out” and said “Well, I’ll stop trying, I guess.”

I’ll talk more about this in my “Yearn for friendship”-post, but for now, the main take-away is:

You won’t be done with figuring out life any time soon.

So, don’t think “I want to be done with this.”

Think “I want to be doing this.”

Step out of the meta-level into the life-level. It’s okay not to perfectly understand life right now. You’ll figure it out.Trust me, you’ll figure it out. But only by doing things.

Because, see, NGS may be trouble-shooters, but the trouble-shooting isn’t the fun part. It’s the first step to entering a magical world with which you can interact, be it maths, or Middle Earth, or a birthday party. 
We like to think. 
And you’ve been depriving yourself of the fun of thinking by thinking you have to do it in a perfect way. 

“But what if it’s not perfect?”
That’s okay. You’ll get better. And something imperfect that’s striving to be good is always better than nothing at all. Some things you figure out by doing. Life is one of those things. Imagine you’re in a dark street and you want to illuminate it. You can either miserably sit in darkness and try to figure out a way to turn on all lights at once, or you can start with one and let the sight of snowflakes or petals welling up underneath it give you strength for the next. Allow yourself little successes. Allow yourself to have fun with imperfect things. Make the first step. Let it give you strength for the next.”

“But what if I lose time?”

“Be patient. Life will literally last all your life. This is as much time as you’re ever gonna get. Allow yourself to take this time and to take it slow. Again: think not about getting it done, but about the joy of doing it. Time spent doing the thing you love is never lost time. Put the pressure of your shoulders. Trust me, if you take it slow, your brain will speed up because it has breathing room.
Let me repeat this:
If you take it slow
your brain will speed up.

So, allow your brain to think like this:

(or at least like this:

Be patient. I cannot stress this enough. Be. Patient.
Time is not your enemy that you have to outrace. Time is your partner, whom you have to trust. Time helps you to grow. Time helps you to understand. Time literally helps you to BE. 
For me, the phrase that really struck a chord with me somehow was
I will grow as my hair did”, because it a) shows how long it can take for tiny changes to become visible, and how b) they do become visible in the end.)

“But I don’t want to completely lose my grip on the meta-level! I don’t just want to blindly run into one direction!”

“I get you. So did I. So here’s what I did: I made a pact with myself. 
On the 25th of every month (because my birthday is on the 25th, but pick whichever day you like best), I ascend to the meta-level and critically assess my own situation. 
I exit the cube and check if I like what the cube looks like right now. 
No? Okay, time to introduce some big changes. 
Yes? Okay, carry on as before. 
I actually wrote down basic rules for what life in the cube looks like (when to do laundry, etc.), so I wouldn’t have to worry about it during the month and let me tell you, it works great. During the month, I just let my mind slice and dice away (I’ll talk more about the mind as a weapon in the next post) and once a month, I check if I like the results. For me, at least, it’s the perfect arrangement. 

So, be patient. And watch Hyouka - it’s about this very struggle and the MC slowly realizes that, sometimes, it’s worth to spend energy, mind-power and time on certain things. Some things… just take time. And that’s okay.

Grow as your hair does.

(Here’s the masterpost for all the posts in this series: x)

(Part 2)

BTS Reacts - Skinship & Having A Platonic Crush On You

Min Yoongi: He used to be bothered by your brushes against his skin, unsure of what to think of your forwardness. The closer you got to each other, the less he seemed to mind - now, he almost expects you to initiate physical contact when he sees you. Of course, he’s going to keep acting like your bubbly demeanor doesn’t affect him, but the moment you put your hands on his body, he’d burst into a wide grin, squirming away from you. He doesn’t know when or how it happened, but somewhere along the road, he found himself wanting to be in your presence more. Maybe it’s the skinship, maybe he’s gone mad - maybe it’s the fact that he’s actually found immense happiness in your platonic relationship.

“Yah, pabo! If you keep tickling me, I’m going to actually murder you - unless you take me out to dinner later.”
( Yoongi flinches when you poke his sides once more. ) 

Kim Namjoon: Just before an interview with a web-zine, you’re massaging the knots in Namjoon’s shoulder-blades, easing the tension in his muscles. He doesn’t mind that your hands are down the back of shirt - he’s known you for the longest time, he’s comfortable with you touching him. Even though you’re relatively handsy with him, he holds only a platonic admiration for you, as you do likewise, for him. He finds this change of pace refreshing - there’s no rules saying that two souls meant for each other have to be romantically involved. He’s loving his friendship with you, and he doesn’t care that it’s not sexual at all. When the interviewer asks him a painstakingly commonplace question, he laughs, throwing a glance your way while replying:

“If I had a dollar for every time someone’s asked me that question. No, we’re not dating.”
( You’re always seen together, though? )
“They’re my best friend. Why wouldn’t I want to be with them, every moment that I possibly can?”

Jung Hoseok: It’s not routine of you if you don’t start some sort of bear-hug war or tickle fight with Jung Hoseok. When you see him enter the room, you scramble up to him and tackle his body, running your hands wildly across his stomach. He bounces back in retort, yelling at the top of his lungs. He sees you as a bright ray of sunshine - he adores your energy and passion when it comes to your physical affection toward his being. The electricity in your excitable skinship with Hoseok sparks a fire in him that he craves on a daily basis. If it’s even possible, he wishes he could get married to you out of friendship, so you’d always be around to keep him spirited. When you’re out of the picture, Yoongi asks Hobi if the both of you are more than just friends.

“Huh!? N-No, we’re not like that at all! We’re just… really playful with each other, is that so bad?”

Kim Seokjin: Seokjin loves how open you are with your skinship. He wants to spend all day with you, talking about anything and everything while you caress his upper arm. Your doting touches make him feel safe; his presence appreciated, so he’s eager to open up to you about the worries in his life that he’s learned to hide so well. You’ve pulled him into a world where he can be completely as ease with himself, and he wants to be with you as much as he can because of that. He’s developed a non-romantic infatuation with you, he truly wants to be by your side whenever he can, whether it’s for yours or his emotional support. He’s savoring the strokes of your fingers on his hand, when he gets the urge to address an important issue:

“____________-ah…. I hope you’re not bothered by all these dating rumours about us. I know we’re not lovers, but I can’t let go of you just because people want us apart.”

Jeon Jungkook: You almost zoom past the recording studio without hesitation - but you stop in your tracks as soon as you see one slumbering Jeon Jungkook in front of his laptop. You sneak in, and as soon as you reach him, you tickle the skin under his chin. Kook is fond of you caressing him; he sees it as a sign of warmth from you. Jungkook’s never thought about how lovey-dovey the two of you may seem, because the two of you naturally worked best as inseparable friends, and that’s all he saw in your relationship with him. It is chaste and pure. When he feels lonely and ignored, he knows he can turn to you, his one and only platonic crush. A cheeky smile emerges on his face as he takes your fingers and pulls them away from him.

“Aish, why is it that I can never sleep peacefully with you around!?”

Kim Taehyung: You’re casually scratching the skin beneath the lump in his throat, lining the curve of his neck with your index finger. He is unfazed by your seemingly intimate advances; he knows it’s platonic. Your friendship with him runs so deep, that you’d both be comfortable sleeping in the same bed with nothing but undergarments on, and not feel any awkwardness when doing so. Taehyung personally likes it when you touch him, he’d do the same to you if not for the thousands of eyes on his every move. Because of you, he can’t go a day without seeing you, not having your fingers on his skin. He just wants to be with you all the time, and he has you to blame for it; his partner in crime. Hoseok calls the two of you out on your closeness:

“You two need to cut it out - you’re going to start dating rumours!”
( You stare at each other before Taehyung jokingly speaks, winking at you before suppressing his laughs. )

“Us? Dating? Hey, should we call each other ‘jagi’ now, to mess with people?” 

Park Jimin:  A boy that’s absolutely taken by you. He’s never had a friend he’s able to relate to as much as you have. You smack his cheeks with both your hands, squeezing them, making his lips pucker like a duck. Normally, he’d get annoyed by your blatant touches, but lately, he relishes it - especially when you flick at his earlobes to tick him off, or when you wring your arm around his strong neck and nuzzle your face into it. People often mistake your friendship for romance, and they’re not exactly wrong - after all, he does love you - everything you do, everything you are, everything you stand for. You’re everything to him; it’s clear as day in his eyes. He realized that when Namjoon had asked him about his relationship with you.

“Me and ____________? We’re just friends - best friends - but there’s no way I can imagine my life without them in it.”


Phew, this one was actually really hard to do! I was stumped for quite awhile, but I hope it turned out okay for you, anon. Enjoy this react! <3

Free Dessert? Hell yeah ~ Jack Maynard

Characters: Jack x reader x Conor

Word Count: 1417

Summary: Where two lovers fake a proposal to get dessert and it goes viral. This is based by the new viral tweet.

Requested: “One where you and Jack make a fake proposal to get a free dessert but a fan sees and videos it so they can share the the cute moment and everyone freaks out thinking they’re actually engaged.”

Note: I broke into my best friend’s house last night because she forgot to leave the door open for me, while she is at work. She died when I told her I climbed through her bathroom window😂


Jack sighed, setting down his editing on his laptop. It was Saturday night and he had the worst week of his life, nothing was going right. From meetings, to cancelled meetings, to running around after the boys, to filming videos and lastly, not seeing you for a week in a half and not speaking to you in four days. 

All he wants is to be with you. He knows how stressful you have been; he loves that you’re doing a major in photography but he hates that you stress yourself so much out with it. He also knows that you have an exam coming up and knows you won’t be sleeping because you have to get everything perfect, the smallest of things would make want to start over again.

It wasn’t until he watched someone fake a birthday, that he could the best idea ever. 

Scrambling up to his feet, he glanced at the clock seeing it was only six, if he planned this out perfectly he would get to yours around ten to seven depending on traffic. Taking a shower, dressing in his best clothes and grabbing his keys, he was out the door by half past and already on route to your apartment.

As reached your apartment he heard Conor’s old album playing around the apartment, he remembered the day he asked you why you listened to it and you said, “The faster I do my art, the faster I can stop listening to it.” He couldn’t stop laughing when you said that and never fails to tell that story when he’s with the gang.

Stepping into the apartment, Jack closed the door and made his way into the living room. He leaned up on the door frame, smiling loving at his girlfriend who was dancing and singing softly to Royalty around the living room picking up photos and placing them on black boards.

“As much as I would love to stand here watching you all day, we my crazy baby are going out.” Jack spoke up, an amused look on his face watching you jump around to face him with your arm in the ready to attack.

You slowly put your arm down and pulled Jack into a hug, “I’ve missed you so much.”

“I missed you too.” Jack mumbled into his girlfriend’s hair. “But get dressed up fancy, we are dining like King and Queens.”

“Why?” You mumbled looking up at Jack,

Jack grinned unwrapping his arms and stepping back, “We need some fun. So get your cute little ass in that room and put on that sparkly red dress, do your make up and let’s go. The meal is booked for eight.”

You nodded your head and made your way to you room but stopped turning your head over your shoulder, “I’m not crazy.”

Jack’s laugh echoed the flat, “You were going to attack me with a photograph.”

Glaring at him, you stomped into your room where a little smile on your face appeared on your face from hearing Jack chuckling to himself.


45 minutes later you waltzed out of your bedroom doing a twirl for Jack who was making camera noises and gasping. Laughing you turned to face him with a smile on your face, “How do I look?”

“Fucking beautiful baby.” Jack smiled, the look of awe pure on his face. “Do you have a fancy diamond right by any chance? I have a little plan for tonight.”

“Aren’t you suppose to buy the ring, if you’re going to propose?” You teased with a smile but took off into your room to get a ring.

“When I buy you a ring, you’re going to know about it.” Jack smirked holding his hand out for the ring.

“Oh? Will I?” You smirked back. 

Jack just laughed grabbing your hand and pulling you out your apartment, “Why do you need this ring anyway?”

“Want to get some free dessert?” 

“Free dessert? Hell yeah.”


Jack has been relaxed and smiling the whole entire evening and he notice he and manage to make you relaxed and happy. Which is all he had wanted to come out of this meal, to make you happy. 

As you got up to the toilet, Jack called the waiter over and told them about the proposal and just like Jack wanted they offered him a few desserts, which he could not say no to.

By the time you got back to the table Jack was grinning like a mad man, you smiled and sat back down in front of Jack with a questioning look. “Why you looking at me like that?”

“Time to get our free dessert.” Jack whispered before getting down on one knee. Your hand flew to your mouth in fake surprise, as people around the restaurant gasped.  

Jack smiled widely looking directly into your eyes, “Y/N Y/L/N, you are my love of life and I couldn’t think of anyone else to spend it with. Will you marry me?”

Tears welled up in your eyes as you nodded your head, holding your left hand out so he can slide the ring on your finger. Jack stood up and kissed you lovingly as the restaurant clapped and cheered for you both. As Jack broke away from the kiss he whispered against your lips, “When I propose for real, it will be ten times better than this.”

Laughing you pulled back smiling at the couples and families in the restaurant as Jack thanked them all sitting back down. The waiters came towards your table congratulating you and handed you a bottle of champagne and gave you some dessert with “Congratulations” on the plates.

As you were eating Jack looked up towards you with that cheeky smile on his face, “I told you it would work.”

You smiled at him, “I’m glad we did this, I need this. Thank you.”

“Why don’t I go pay and me and you will take this bottle of champagne home and have a night in bed?” Jack smirked at the blush raising on your cheeks while he got up to the bar to pay.


When you and Jack walked into his apartment you both didn’t expect to be tackled onto the fall by the older Maynard screaming at the two of you. “You’re engaged! I’ve been waiting for this moment since you started going out two years ago!”

“Conor!” Jack shouted pushing his brother onto the floor getting up himself, then helping you up. 

“We aren’t engaged.” You laughed at the look of his face.

“Um, yes you are. The video of Jack proposing is all over twitter and Instagram, some fan caught you.”

You and Jack laughed to yourselves as you walked into his living room. “It was fake Con, we did it to get free dessert and to have fun.”

“You proposed to get free dessert? Are you fucking stupid? Why not say it was your birthday?” Conor asked leaning against the door.

“Where’s the fun in that?” Jack asked smirking as he threw himself on the sofa, turning his head towards you, “Looks like I’m going to have to explain we aren’t actually engaged.”

You nodded, taking off your heels walking into his kitchen to get glasses. “We should wait till your next video, keep them guessing.”

Conor shook his head in disbelief at the two of you while Jack pointed at you, “This is why she’s my girlfriend.”

“Whatever.” Conor sighed making his way to the door, “Your both fucking crazy and when you propose for real, don’t expect me to excited for you guys.”

You and Jack heard the door slam before giggling to each other. That night you and Jack spent the time in bed watching films but mostly you spent your time talking about the future and you will always remember the words Jack spoke to you that night.

“When I propose, I will be damn if royalty isn’t the theme.”


Jack kept to his promise and Conor failed his. It was two years later and Conor was playing a music gig down on Brighton beach, he was in the middle of singing royalty. When he noticed you and Jack down the back of the beach, Jack on one knee and you screaming the word yes over and over again. He stopped singing for a moment too lost in what was happening before it all clicked, he started screaming and jumping on the stage like a fangirl but he swears he never cried.

Although, everyone saw him cry…


EXO Reaction to you shouting ‘I love you’ for the first time during a fight

Me telling Kyungsoo that I love him xD Jk, xoxo Admin A~

/I don’t own any of the gifs used, unless stated otherwise/


Chanyeol:

“Stop right there… you can’t just leave when you just… me too jagi… I’ve been wanting to tell you this for a long time now…”

Kris:

*Can’t even say a world* “Is this… really happening.. my girl just… it’s not a dream right? This is real… we… I… love…”

Sehun:

*Completely forgets you were even fighting* “Jagi.. I love you too.. I’ve always loved you… I knew since the moment I saw you… come here let me kiss you”

Tao:

*Graphical description of what happens after that*

Kai:

*Happy puppy in three.. two… one…. you can even see his tail beginning to wag* “My girl… don’t even doubt for a second that I don’t love you back… because I do.. I love you so much”

Xiumin:

*Was definitely not expecting it… baby is moved to tears* “Jagi you are making me cry out of happiness… can we stop fighting and just… love each other…? I hate fighting with my girl… I love you”

Baekhyun:

“I think this is the right time for me to shut up and just kiss you…”

Luhan:

“I’m an idiot aren’t I? Here I was fighting with you and you just… you are the sweetest of them all and I’m the worst boyfriend… baobei I love you too… I’m sorry”

Chen:

*Goes from upset Chen Chen to a smol ball of fur Chen Chen in three seconds* “She loves me! She actually loves me! I love her too… oh my god!”

Kyungsoo:

*It’s the best day of his whole life* “Jagi… you are so precious… I.. I love you.. too…my jagi…”

Lay:

“Say it again…” *Giggling* “Please say it again… I need to hear it again… it sounds so.. perfect”

Suho:

*Can’t even hide how happy that just made him* “Did you just… my girl… I love you too..”

[Masterlist] [Guideline]