actually that spinning is making me dizzy

Of Love and Fairy Princes

Anonymous said:

YO! Just discovered this gem of a blog!!!! (And I am in love holy moly) 🌚👌Could you write some fluffy prompts between a trickster fairy and his human boyfriend? Thank you and have a wonderful day!

Anonymous said:
So I’m always seeing these prompts on other blogs about chick fairies but never dude fairies? Could I get a couple of prompts about them? It can be love, fluff, discovery, danger, magic, anything is fine for me! Thank you very much for your time!! 😘


1) The trickster loved to perform tricks for their boyfriend - the simplest of magics filled the human with such rewarding and wonderful delight. They had an appreciation for illusion that had long since been passed out of his own kind, in preference for more impressive or wise feats. Changing hair colours for different moods, conjuring flowers and trinkets, making a firework display in the palm of his hand. His boyfriend drank each offering up with glee.
“Now,” his boyfriend said. “I have a trick for you.”
The trickster raised their brows, amused. They knew their boyfriend had been practicing a less magical sleight of hand recently. “Are you going to find a coin behind my ear?” he teased.
“No, but there is this ring.” And then they dropped to one knee.


2) He had always assumed that his boyfriend was not a particularly powerful fairy. He acted like a goof ball most of the time, didn’t generally take anything with much seriousness and certainly didn’t have the air of some of the more dangerous fey who ensnared human heart’s so willingly. Then they visited the fairy realm together for the first time.
“…he’s one of the most powerful fey princes on the planet,” one of the servant’s said, bewildered. “Why do you think your engagement is of such importance?”


3) One minute, their boyfriend was human. Grinning, laughing impish at the one who sneered at them. The next second he was standing next to a fully grown dragon all teeth and snarling. His knees went weak.
Shapeshifter. Right. Holy shit.


4) They lay together in the summer sunshine, light dappling through the forest with a tranquil joy. Elsewhere, birds chirped and bees buzzed. Earlier, an actual fucking fawn had come and nuzzled at their lover like he was a deer whisperer. It was like dating a Disney princess. He couldn’t get over it.
“Do mice make your clothes?” he teased, pressing kisses to his cheek, under his neck, collar bone.
“I could turn you into an ass, you know. Shakespeare got that off me.”
“You’re not going to turn me into an ass.”
“A toad.”
“Only if you kiss me better after.”
The trickster huffed.


5) He felt dizzy, head spinning from the wine. The circus was wilder than any he’d ever seen as the night went on. He wasn’t sure where his clothes had gone but he didn’t much care. The drowsiness lulled everything all else even as the delight in his companion’s eyes turned to fear, and the dance became less pleasure and more manic.
“What’s happening to me?”
“How human’s forget,” murmured the boy he’d been chatting with, flirting with. The smile that had first seemed so charming had a wicked edge now. “The circus is my modern day fairy ring, my dear. And you’re going to make a truly exquisite addition to my court.”

GOT7 Reaction | Hiding Your Face in their Chest When You’re Flustered

this wasn’t requested but i need more GOT7 on this blog they are my sons and also my husbands and i needed to do some fluff after writing that one bts reaction okay~~ alright my dudes help this is me whY AM I SO SMALL WHY ~Admin Hedgehog


Mark: Gosh he’s so embarrassed as well but he thinks you’re so cute and he can’t stand it he just buries his face in your hair and you guys are just this big puddle of cute squishy cinnamon rolls y'all are adorable

JB/Jaebum: he tries to be all “Oppa” but in actuality he’s screaming inside and trying not to hide his face in his hands bc you’re just so fucking cUTE HOW CAN ONE PERSON BE THAT ADORABLE (and you’re not Youngjae…how can u be cuter then youngjae he’s confused) 

Jackson: literally screams and picks you up and spins you until you’re both dizzy bc he cannot handle how cute you are doing that like he’s actually crushing your ribs together who needs a corset when you have Jackson Wang am i right

Jinyoung: he coos at you like you’re a small child and ur low key offended like excuse me i am a grOWNUP I DO NOT NEED THIS but he’s like nope~~ you’re too cute~~ ahh how can one person be so smol and adorable?? either that or he’s a savage asshole who makes fun of your red face therese only 2 ways this can go my friend RIP in peace @ you

Youngjae: awkward giggles all aroundddd!!! he’s also a Cute Smol Shy himself so by burying your face in his chest he’s afraid you can hear his heart going at least 8,000 miles per second he thinks he’s gonna pass out help him Jaebum how does he react to this amount of cuteness

Bambam: he’s nOT EASILY SWAYED BY CUTE THINGS BUT DAMMIT YOU’VE MADE HIM W E A K he tries to play off him being flustered by making a dirty joke but that just makes you laugh and be more embarrassed so you nuzzle his chest with your nose and he is g o n e he is a puddle 

Yugyeom: yes. this is it. this is what he lives for. he loves being tall in this moment like he gets a lot of shit from the hyungs for your guys hight difference sometimes but dammit he is so content right now. If you want him to do anything for you all u gotta do is A: back hug him or B: hug him and nuzzle his chest with your nose and he is putty in your hands he’d buy a house for you if you asked

Mysterious Hazelnut Pt. IX | REAL CHAPTER

Summary: Coffee have always been key to lighten up your mood in cloudy days. Specially when its made by your favorite barista.

Author: @sleepywinchester prev. deanwincehster-af | Mobile Masterlist

Pairings: Barista!Sam x Plus Size!Reader

Words: 5.2k

Warnings: Kind of Angst. Language. 

A/N: THIS IS A REAL CHAPTER LOL I’m kinda sorry for fooling y’all on April Fools into thinking that chapter real. This chapter is really long and it’s mostly backstory and introduction of new characters into the history. Really hope you guys like this, if you do, please leave me a comment or message? I love those and motivate me so much. Feedback makes me feel like this is not crap lol Anyway! Enjoy and till the next one! xoxox.

The road back to the place you once called home was just like you remembered it; dark, empty and long. While Dean and Melissa drove in Dean’s SUV, you were holding onto Sam on his Harley. Scott noticed your boyfriend’s good taste for wheels, you saw it in his smug stare as he watched you hop on the bike.

Riding alongside Scott for two days straight, brought memories of the long rides you would take with him. Some of the were just for fun, others would be club business related. It didn’t matter the reasons behind them, riding alongside your brother was something you used to enjoy deeply. The both of you would put aside the club and have fun, it didn’t matter how short it lasted.

The Wolves of California wasn’t just a motorcycle club, it was a lifestyle, it was a family and one that came with a price. To be part of that life you needed to be dedicated and that wasn’t something you wanted to be a part of after Max died. His recent death overshadowed the good memories, after his funeral your eyes opened.

“Welcome to Charming,” you mumbled as the sign became something on Sam’s bike rear mirror.

Keep reading

If You Don't Know (part two) L.H.

This is part two, this imagine is going to be based off of the songs “if you don’t know” by 5sos and “say you won’t let go” by James Arthur.


Not to surprise Luke came in two days later. I was nervous to see him, I ask him for his number then don’t even text or call him.

“Hey.” He greets with a smile.

He is dressed unusually, wearing a pair of black skinny jeans and a graphic tee. His curls are slightly pushed back, nearly taking my breath away.

“Luke, how are you?” I ask him.

He shrugs, giving me a half smile.

“I’m alright.” He replies. For the couple months he’s been coming here, I’ve never gotten more than that response out of him.

I always wonder what’s going through his mind. He hasn’t even looked truly happy when he’s come in here.

“The usual?” I smile and he nods. “Maria? Right?” I joke as I pick up a cup.

“That’s right.” He laughs.

I love his laugh, it lights up the whole room. I’ve only heard it a couple time but I would do almost anything to hear it.

“And do you need my number again? I figured you lost it because it’s been a couple days. It’s not nice to leave a girl hanging.” He calls me out.

I chuckle, closing my eyes and using one of my hands to cover my face in embarrassment.

“That was not my intention at all.” I say.

“Well, you know if you- I don’t know when you get off but- maybe I was thinking…” he starts but doesn’t seem to be able to finish any of his sentences.

He shoves his hand in his pockets. “When do you get off?” He looks at the floor.

I smile like an idiot at his cup, drawing random smiley faces and doing his name in bubble letters.

Is he asking what I think he’s asking?

“I get off in an hour and I think my schedule is free for the night.” I joke.

My schedule is always free, I don’t do hardly anything besides work and sit at home. That’s why they schedule me so much at the coffee shop because working getting out of the house is better than sitting in front of a tv by myself all day.

“Do you wanna maybe, do something?” He asks.

I glance up at his, his blue eyes already watching me for some sort of reaction.

I nod, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear.

“Yeah. I would really love that.” I say as I start making his drink.

I’m not looking at him but I can hear him take a deep sigh of relief. That’s how I feel as well.

I finish making his drink and hand it to him, he pulls out a $10 bill to pay and I shake my head.

“This one’s on the house.” I smile.

He nods, instead sticking the bill into the tip jar.

He waits at the table close the counter. It isn’t the usual one he sits at but from this table I can stand and talk to him from behind the counter.

We think of ideas of what to do after I get off. It is cloudy outside but not raining or terribly cold.

When the next person shows up to take over I quickly grab my stuff. Luke stands to his feet as I approach him.

I always forget how tall he is.

“I’ve got an idea.” He smiles at me.

I ask him what it is but he just shakes his head, turning around and walking out of the coffee shop.

He agrees to let us play 20 questions to try and figure out what it is.

I got no information out of that except for the fact that it’s outside.

He leads me to his car, it is quite nice. He opens the door for me like a gentleman and I already find myself liking him.

All these months he’s been coming into my work, I’ve never seen this side of him. He’s actually smiling and making conversation.

Within minutes I know where we are going. I don’t know why I didn’t think of this sooner. There is a town fair going on right off the beach. They set up a bunch of carnival games and rides for one whole week before taking it down and moving to the next town.

I’ve only been there with family but it seems like the perfect idea for a date… if that’s even what this is.

You watch as Luke drives around the crowded parking lot to try to find a spot. His blue eyes watch cautiously for any racing kids or obstacles. His slender fingers grip the wheel so nicely.

God, even his hands are beautiful.

What have I gotten myself into.

Ever since the first time I saw him I thought he was way out of my league.

“Mary-Jayne, I don’t ever want to hear those words come out of your mouth. You are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen and everyone that looks at you will feel the same way.” Another one of my mothers quotes give me a boost of confidence

Finally we pull into someone’s spot who is just leaving. We both climb out of the car and he locks it behind him. He glancing at me and gives me a quick smile, his eyes watching my face intensely.

“You have green eyes.” He says, excitedly.

You laugh and look at the ground. “Yeah, ever since I was young.”

He laughs at my words and as well looks at the ground. “How come I never noticed that before?” He seems to be talking to himself.

We walk up to the ticket booth and get ride bracelets that are good for all the rides. We wander around, trying to decide which ride to go on first.

All the lines are pretty long, like they always are. This carnival is only here for a week so everyone wants to make sure to come. Luke suggests we get some cotton candy for the lines.

He buys and we make our way to our first ride. Within the first couple minutes of waiting, rain starts to fall from the sky.

“No! Aww man!” Luke groans, covering his head with his jacket. “Maybe this wasn’t a good idea.”

I watch as many other people think the same thing. Many of them grabbing their kids and heading towards the parking lot.

“No, this is perfect.” I assure him. He glances at me to make sure I’m not joking. I nod and assure him I’m serious. “We have jackets, plus now everyone’s to be leaving and the lines with practically disappearing.”

He looks around and notices tons of people flooding toward the parking lot as well.

He pulls down his jacket, rain drops hitting his gold hair.

I watch his cobalt eyes, look up at the grey sky.

He is really beautiful. A large rain drop lands on the tip of his cute nose.

I don’t even realize what I’m doing before my finger reaches up and wipes it off his nose.

He stares at me with a half smile on his face. It’s almost like his eyes are looking past my face and right into my soul.

“I’m sorry.” I say, flustered. I look to the right of me, away from Luke.

“No, that was cute.” He admits.

I’m still unable to look at him due to the fact I’m smiling like an idiot. He just called me cute.

It’s finally our turn to ride and we sit next to each other. When we exit more than half of the people have seemed to leave.

It is still raining but not that hard. Luke’s curls are no longer gelled back like they were. They are now damp and hanging in front of his face until he tucks them behind his ears.

The lines for rides are almost nonexistent due to the amount of people that have left.

Luke and I make it through most of the rides. I’m seeing a completely new part of him, he is actually really funny and playful.

When the carnival was just about to close up we call It a night. The rain is just starting to pour down when we make our way to his car.

His hair is now sticking to his face and mine is a stringy mess. I’m just trying to keep it out of my face.

His car is almost on the other side of the large parking lot. I start spinning in the rain, running ahead of him.

He laughs before joining me. I get dizzy and stop, stumbling before balancing myself. I glance over my shoulder at Luke.

He is already looking at me. His lips are parted and his eyes look dark as he continues to stare at me.

“What?” I ask embarrassed.

He shakes his head and continues to walk. “Nothing.” He smiles.

When we finally get out of the rain and into his car he blasts the heat. He shows me how to use the seat warmers and they are the new best thing in the world.

“So, when did you move here from Australia?” I ask.

“Almost three years ago.” He says unsure.

“What brought you to Los Angeles?” I ask curiously.

I love his accent more and more I hear it. I want to keep him talking.

He looks out his window, “Umm…” he trails.

From his tone of voice I can tell it’s personal.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked.” I curse myself.

“No! No, really it’s okay.” He smiles at me.

Relief washes over me that I didn’t just ruin what we had going. Whatever that is.

“I moved in with my ex here. Well she wasn’t my ex at the time but she is now.” He explains.

I nod, I have never really been in a relationship before. I have had guys be interested in me and flings and stuff.

Just nothing that ever really lasted. But if Luke moved in with that girl it was probably pretty serious.

I wonder what broke them up, I want to ask but it isn’t my place.

I swear he can read my mind because he tells me anyways. “She erm, she cheated on me a couple months ago.” He says like it’s nothing.

My mouth drops open. Cheated? She cheated on Luke? How could anyone do that. Not only is he insanely attractive but as far as I know he seems like a good person.

“I-I’m so sorry.” I spit out.

He smiles at me, keeping one hand on the steering wheel.

“It’s okay now. I’ve slowly gotten over it. When we broke up I moved out and had to switch gyms too. That’s why I started coming into the coffee shop where you work. So I guess not all is bad.” He turns red.

He looks back at the road as I continue to stare at him.

The way his nose curves and how plump his lips are. I can tell he knows I’m staring at him from how red his face still is and he keeps glancing between me and the road but I don’t care.

I already like him so much and I can’t tell if this is a bad thing or a good thing.

I give him directions to my house and when he pulls up he gets out to see me off.

“That’s for today.” I smile, tucking a piece of hair behind my ears.

His eyes pour into mine and all he does is nod.

“That’s for asking me out in the first place. I was building up the courage but who knows how much longer that would have taken.” I laugh nervously.

He chuckles and steps closer to me.

I glance to the right, down at the floor as he takes another step closer. I can hear my heart pounding in my ears.

“Thank you, Mary-Jayne.” He says quietly before pulling me in.

His lips are as soft as they look, he seems to know what he is doing too. His lips love against mine, my eyes close as one of my hands reach up to softly touch his face.

It all began from there.

today was a good day. I slept in, despite the neighbours drilling holes through my ceiling, stayed in bed for twenty minutes after my alarm went off. took a shower, made some breakfast, even though I didn’t want it at first. felt my blood pressure drop with a ringing resonating through my head. contemplated staying home, but the extra serotonin in my brain and the rest my body got from actually sleeping night after night after night pushed me up and out. I felt the wind and the sunlight on my skin and my feet moving the ground, leaving it behind me with every step I took. I went dancing. I danced and never felt dizzy, and my feet held me and the floor with a lot more certainty than before. my spins are getting better even though I suck at spinning. I almost worked out the entire choreography for the dance I’m making. had a coffee on my way home and I sat and looked at everything green and everything sky and everything shining through the train window. stopped by the grocery store and got some fresh vegetables. made dinner, lightly cooked and full of energy. ate it with a good book and a friendly conversation. it is quite simple, really. nothing out of the ordinary. it’s just the meds are working. it’s like waking up while being awake. like feeling normal again. almost. today was a good day.

EXO Reaction when they have to take care of you when you drink too much

Xoxo, Admin A~

/I don’t own any of the gifs used, unless stated otherwise/


Chanyeol: 

*Checks on you very early in the morning* “Don’t look at me like that, I told you not to drink. Come get up, you need a shower”

Kris:

*He is the reason why you drank so much* “Come on drink this… your hangover will be gone in no time”

Sehun:

*Ready to prepare the best tea of your life* “This will bring her back to life! I know it”

Tao:

*Is the same as you*

Kai:

*Doesn’t sleep the whole night* “Aish this girl.. talking in her sleep” *Actually checks on you the whole time*

Xiumin:

*Actually his head is still spinning from last night*

Baekhyun:

*He is the one with a hangover while you take care of him*

Luhan:

*Responsible boyfriend* “You can’t drink like that again! I was so worried last night! Now go take a shower while I make some breakfast”

Chen:

*Gives you love the whole day* “How is my favorite person feeling? Still dizzy from last night? Let me hold you”

Kyungsoo:

*Stays up all night, makes tea and special food for you and makes sure no one makes any noise so they don’t wake up* “I hope she is finally resting…”

Lay:

*Does his unicorn thing xD and makes you feel better in no time* “It’s an old recipe that I got from my mother…”

Suho:

“Jagi… how did you get so drunk last night… what were you doing?” *Appa mode on*

[Masterlist] [Guideline]

anonymous asked:

Can we talk about Gladio reacting to being told he's going to be a father? Because I've been thinking about it waaaaay too much and it's too cute to imagine. Help me.

YES WE CAN

Gladdy daddy as an actual daddy sounds like the cutest thing

- Gladio is a family man. FAMILIES ARE SUPER IMPORTANT. So when he finds out he’s gonna be a father he’s going to be over the moon.

- Cue waterworks, hugest grin ever, and he’s probably going to pick up his s/o and spin them around – then freak out because oh god will spinning them around make the baby dizzy or something what even

- He’s gonna bother Ignis at ungodly hours about how to help keep his s/o comfy and stuff during the pregnancy since Iggy knows everything

- He’s gonna build that baby’s crib, paint that baby’s bedroom, buy a mountain of toys and a toybox for the baby, the works. Kid’s gonna be spoiled

- Kid’s also going to have a tiny sparring sword before they’re even born because how could Gladio not have a sparing sword for his children

- Will also get their own Coleman brand camping stuff

- HE’LL ALSO BUY BLANKETS AND PILLOWS SPECIFICALLY FOR BLANKET FORTS FOR WHEN HIS KID IS OLD ENOUGH FOR THEM

- Will probably want to name the baby after one of his ancestors because I’ve got this HC that he’s probably named after some really badass relative in the Amicitia family. First or middle name is totally going to be one of his ancestors’ names.

- He’s gonna kiss his s/o’s belly all the time and just be mindblown that he’s having a baby. With you. Because he loves you. <3

Dance Like We’re Making Love- Jimin(Requested Smut)

Originally posted by oh-suga-suga

//my original asks keep disappearing! here’s another song request, enjoyyy//

Dance Like We’re Making Love- Ciara(Audio)


The music is still on, low and sultry as it echoes around the empty lounge on the bottom floor of my apartment complex. I know the bartenders are still cleaning, my late night visits becoming more and more frequent as time passes by.

My lace is light and airy, the suit hugging my body in soft pastels and my overlay a river of blue silk. The elevator dings twice as the doors begin to close, sending me off the far wall and padding against the tile barefoot in order to get out on time.

“Y/N. Back so soon?” A bartender teases, already pouring a line of shots on the counter for me.  

“You know how it is.” I laugh, running in order to get the leverage to jump on the counter.

The first shot is bitter and hard, burning my throat with a pleasurable intensity that has me reaching for the next in line.

“It takes a real woman to handle those.” A deep voice sounds from beside me, eyes trailing from his strong arms up to his face, thin eyes glistening. He holds a large hand out, angling his head so the dim light falls on his prominent jaw, highlighting the milk of his skin.

“Park Jimin.”

Keep reading

Special Cuddles Days (Newt x Reader)

Character: Newt

Fandom: Maze Runner

Categories: Reader Insert, Female!Reader, Fluff

Title: Special Cuddles Days


Requested by anonymous: 

Would you mind doing a maze runner and you’ve been the only girl for a while and you’re dating newt but whenever new supplies are sent up so are supplies for your monthly visitor? And maybe she’s on her period and all the boys in the glade know when she’s in her period cause she’s a runner and it’s like newt comforting her whilst she’s on her period please?

 

A/N: Thanks for your request, here it is. I’m over exaggerating things a bit so it’s funnier, following the clichés and all. Enjoy!


I had been up for around two hours. I didn’t even know what time it was or if it was time to go into the Maze.

All I knew was that I had been lying awake in my bed, too tired and sick to move. I felt like klunk, and I was wondering where Newt was because he wasn’t in the bed next to me.

“Hey, love” Someone gently shook my shoulder, and by his voice I could tell it was Newt. “Love, how are you feeling?”

I groaned in response as I slightly opened one eye. He was right in my face.

Did he know that I felt sick? How did he know?

Newt slightly chuckled, his breath moving my bangs.

“I guess not so good, are you?”

“Is this funny to you, Newt?” I mumbled, really annoyed. “Is this funny to you, shank?”

I sat up and stared at him, fuming of a sudden.

But Newt didn’t seem affected by my mood.

“Guess you’ll be needing this then” He waved a little box in front of my face and handed it to me.

Pouting, I took it from his hands and opened it. On the inside there were many pads that would help me through the month. They always arrived just in time.

“Oh” I just said, understanding the sudden pains and moods and physical discomfort. It all made sense now.

“It came up in the Box today with the supplies again” Newt mumbled, sitting next to me and wrapping his arms around me.

I sighed and rested my head on his shoulder. I wasn’t looking forward to being on my period again, it sucked.

Not only because all I wanted to do was be cuddling Newt all day even though I knew there was work to be done. But it got even worse as I was a Runner.

Newt sometimes talked to Alby so I’d stay in bed during those months were it was worse, but sometimes our leader would make me run if he saw I was good enough to do so.

“I hate it” I mumbled, placing the pads in the bed, away from me. I didn’t’ even want to see them.

“You’re already feeling sick, love?” Newt gently asked me, softly kissing the side of my face.

I just nodded, sulky.

“What time is it, Newt?” I probably had to run today since I knew it would only get worse.

Today I didn’t even was on my period, but the cramps and all always arrived the day before as a warning. Another unnecessary day of suffering. Yay.

Newt looked at the clock on his wrist.

“Fifteen minutes until the Doors open” He mumbled in response.

I groaned again, mentally preparing for the long day ahead.

I didn’t even get that much sleep if it was the time Newt told me it was.

Lazy and tired, I looked up to Newt. I couldn’t hide a tiny smile when I saw his cute little face staring back at me with a grin.

I gave him a quick kiss on the lips and stood up.

“Where are you going?”

“I have to run” I simply said, as if it were obvious.

“You can’t bloody run today, Y/N” Newt stood up and held my hand to keep me in place. “You’re sick, aren’t you?”

“It’ll only get worse” I glanced at the package of pads and grimaced in disgust. “Might as well run today and maybe Alby will lay me off tomorrow”

Not so convinced with the idea, Newt placed his hands on his hips as he pursed his lips.

Although I had been around in the Glade for a while, he worried every month. I had explained to him why it was so bad, because he was puzzled when we started dating.

And it was just adorable how he tried to make sure I was alright and that I got anything I needed. He was happy to provide it for me. Whether it was cuddles, food or just a nice and calm place to nap.

“Are you sure you’re feeling okay to run today?”

I grinned and hugged him tight. I loved him so much.

“Yes, Newt. Today is not so bad”

I had really bad cramps, but I knew tomorrow when it started would be unbearable. The dizziness, the headache, the queasiness, the cramps, the urgues to cry, the weakness, the stomach aches… I just knew it.

And besides, today it was only cramps and a mild weakness. Tomorrow it would feel like the end of the world for me.

I was so glad I ran yesterday, because when I woke up the next day I felt like death. Argh, why was Mother Nature so cruel?

I curled up over myself as much as I could, trying to make the cramps better. Where was Newt?

Again? He wasn’t there!

I knew he was the second in command and all, but couldn’t I just have him for myself for just one day? Why did everything have to go wrong?

I thought about what I should do. There was no way I was going to run, but maybe I could get up and try to help in some other way. But I could also stay in bed and sleep for a while longer.

Sighing in defeat, I stood up and winced as the cramps got worse. But I knew I couldn’t just lie down for all those days, Alby would kill me.

So I walked out of the Homestead and looked for something to do.

It must have been early, because I saw Minho jogging through the Glade to reach the Doors that were yet to open.

I guess being a morning person is a habit.

“Hey, you shank!” Minho waved at me when he saw me.

I didn’t tell him yesterday about it during our run because I knew how he acted towards me then. The slinthead.

“Hi, Minho” I mumbled languidly.

“What are you doing? The Doors are about to open” He softly shoved me, and if he’d shoved me just a little harder, I would have lost balance. I felt so weak.

“There’s no way in hell I’m running today”

His expression changed drastically, from friendly to mischievous.

“Really? Is little Y/N’s time of the month again?” He smirked, folding his arms over his chest.

All the guys, seeing as I was the only girl there, had to face the fact that this happened every month. At first they were all disgusted by it and terrified of the concept. But in time, some of them had gotten used to it, and Minho was one of them.

Being a fellow Runner, Minho was a good friend of mine. And if he usually teased me and annoyed me on a daily basis, during my period he just had the time of his life since I gave him more stuff to mock.

“Leave already, you slinthead” I punched his shoulder, but he didn’t move an inch. “Before I unleash my wrath on you”

Minho just laughed and ruffled my hair, which I hated.

“Try to survive the day, shuck face” He mocked me before he ran to the Doors that rumbled as they opened.

Just as I watched Minho running into the Maze, someone picked me up from behind. It caught me off guard, so I squeaked.

“Good morning, Y/N” Newt’s voice sang jokingly. Then he started to spin around with me on his arms.

“No, Newt! Stop!” I shut my eyes tight as I watched everything spinning around me non stop. “I’m sick, remember?”

“Sorry, love, forgot” He finally stopped and put me down.

I wobbled a little, still very dizzy, and I heard him chuckle. The scoundrel.

Newt held me as I kept my eyes closed and leaned on his shoulder, waiting for the Glade to stop spinning.

“I see that you’re not running today” Newt mumbled, and I heard the smile on his voice.

He sure was in a good mood today. Actually, he was just probably trying to make me feel better because he was aware that his good moods were infectious for me.

“Yeah, is there something simple I can do today?”

“I think Fry needs a hand cleaning last night’s dishes”

I sighed and looked at him tiredly.

“I guess I can do that”

“But don’t strain yourself” He told me as I began to walk away. “If you feel bad, go lie down”

I nodded and headed to the Kitchen.

As soon as he saw me, Frypan asked me why I wasn’t in the Maze. But he soon realized why.

I was washing the dishes and one of them slipped from my hands and fell on the floor, breaking in many pieces.

“Y/N!” Frypan exclaimed with a sigh.

“I’m sorry…” I looked down at the broken place and pouted. I felt like crying, I was so useless.

“No, no” Frypan rushed to my side and placed a kind hand on my shoulder. He knew I got really sensitive “Don’t cry, it’s nothing”

“But I broke it…” I sniffed, feeling my eyes watery already.

“Newt!!!” Frypan panicked.

As he waited for my boyfriend to come, he tried to calm me. But everything felt wrong for me, not only it was a terrible day when everything felt strange and tiring, but I also managed to make it worse.

“You’re not mad, Fry?” I asked him through my sobs.

“Of course not, honey” He mumbled with a smile.

“What’s wrong?” Newt’s voice sounded behind me, so I turned around and urgently hugged him.

“I broke the plate, Newt. I don’t want you guys to be mad at me”

“It’s just a plate, don’t worry about it” He giggled.

“Newt…” I whined, unhappy that he found it so hilarious.

“I’m not laughing at you, love. I just find you so adorable” He smiled at me and booped my nose, which made me giggle too.

Newt wiped my tears and kindly took my hand.

“Let’s grab a bite”

I shook my head and stood in place.

“I’m not hungry”

“These days you act like a child, it’s so bloody cute” He tugged at my hand as we walked to the larder.

“I’m not hungry!” I insisted, completely ignoring his comment.

“Eat something? For me?”

“No” I insisted, so he sighed and took both of my hands.

“How about this? You can go lie down and take the day off, I’ll convince Alby”

I excitedly nodded at him.

“Thanks, that’ll be-“

“But” He held one finger up to get my attention. “You’ll have to eat what I bring you”

“Okay…”

“Good that” Newt nodded to himself. “I’ll go see you later”

I retained him just enough to give him a quick thank you hug and then headed back to our room.

The pads were uncomfortable, it was hot in the Glade, I was aching all over, and I was just in such a terrible mood.

It was nice to be lying down and not working while feeling like klunk, but it sure was dull. And more whilst I waited for Newt.

“Hi, love” The sooner I thought about him…

I just grunted in response.

“I brought you this” He was carrying a little tray that contained a plate of bacon, a glass of water and a little container with pills, probably painkillers.

“Give me the painkillers” I asked him as soon as he left the tray on the bedside table, stretching my arm out to get them.

I usually hated taking pills, but I felt like death itself was creeping upon me.

“You have to eat first” He jokingly slapped my hand to keep it away.

I sighed over dramatically and picked up the plate of bacon.

“Good girl” He sat in the bed next to me and kissed my forehead. I couldn’t hide a tiny smile.

I ate in silence. The taste of the bacon was good, but my troubled stomach didn’t seem to enjoy or accept the food that much.

I still finished the plate -although I asked Newt to help me finish it, and he gladly did- and went for the painkillers.

Not wanting to think about the taste of the chemicals, I gulped the pill down with the water.

“Do you need anything else?” He asked me as he started caressing my hair sweetly.

I didn’t answer, but instead looked directly into his eyes. He knew me well, he’d be able to read me and figure it out.

“Special cuddles?” He wondered.

“Pleeease”

He just grinned and adjusted himself against the headboard as he opened his arms for me to get comfortable resting over his chest.

Newt and I had named those specific days like the ‘special cuddles days’ because most of the time I kept asking him to stay with me and just lie down together and cuddle and talk instead of doing anything else. I did so much that it eventually became some sort of a tradition.

The Gladers thought it was extremely silly and corny and it annoyed them, which was really funny.

“How are you?” Newt sweetly asked me, his fingers going up and down my arm as his other hand gently caressed my hair.

“I don’t feel so good” I heavily rested my forehead on his chest as I took a deep breath.

“You don’t look so good” He agreed with a sigh.

“It’s getting worse” I mumbled. “I hope the painkillers help”

It felt like someone was punching my insides, or even worse, stabbing them how many times they liked. Just for fun. And to see me suffer.

“Chuckie scared Gally again” Newt piped up, drastically changing the subject.

“Did he?”

He knew I hated to lose on the events that occurred in the Glade. Even in those days when I wasn’t running, I felt left out.

“He almost bloody killed poor Chuckie. Alby had to talk him into leaving the lad alone”

“What else happened today?”

I cheerfully smiled as Newt spoke about Zart getting mad at the latest Greenie for not doing the Track-Hoe job right. Zart was hilarious when he got mad, and the way Newt told me about it was just as hilarious.

He continued caressing my hair as he explained how the day was for the Gladers and narrated anything funny or interesting that had happened.

I took a nap as I waited for the painkillers to take effect.

Those days weren’t so bad after all, as long as Newt and I continued that sort of tradition that we had established every month. We would just cuddle and talk and laugh at the fun stuff that happened in the Glade.

Journal

Mamoru: “Can I just give it up here?”

Slouching on the floor was more comfortable.

The stiff chair holds me upright, but my head is spinning, so even if I could let myself leave the seat, the dizziness would bring me spiraling down again.

I need to finish, right?

Where is this actually going to get me? I have so little potential anyways. I can’t make this perfect, so why do it at all?

I can’t disappoint.

I’ve already disappointed so many people, I’m sure. I can’t even keep my head on straight. The slightest sound startles me, and the smallest things catch my attention. I can’t pull myself together long enough to stop falling apart over little mess-ups.

Would I expect anyone else to be this way?

I’ve been told not to compare myself to others. I’m me, and people expect great things, but I keep tripping up and dropping the act in front of the people who want the most for me. Any more mistakes, and they’ll be even more upset. It’ll be my fault.

That’s why I need to complete this. I need to fill this out so they don’t know. I need to make sure I don’t disappoint anyone further.

I know I’ll never finish though.

Kisses in the Rain

Request: Drabble with 45, 57, 81 for Pan pretty please? ❤️

Prompt(s):

  1. 45. If that makes me a child, so be it.
  2. 57. We could get struck by lightning, but you want to kiss in the rain.
  3. 81. Excuse me for falling in love with you.

Warnings:

Notes: I actually don’t do drabbles (idk what those are exactly), but of course I’ll still write this out! It’ll be just a regular imagine

Originally posted by sensualkisses

“Peter Pan!” You shouted, laughing. Peter was spinning you around in a grassy patch on Neverland.

He was laughing, too, finally setting you down. You were both dizzy, the world spinning around you as you two sat down. You let your body fall to the grass, laying down. Peter joined you.

“You’re such a child,” you giggled.

If that makes me a child, so be it.” He chuckled. He interlocked his fingers with yours. Both of you stared up to the sky, watching the storm clouds turn darker and darker.

You took in a deep breath, sighing in satisfaction. Peter looked at you, taken away by your beauty. You were such a darling person. Absolutely lovely to him. How was he lucky enough to have you in his life, he didn’t know. But there you were, loving him for him. Even though he was evil and a bastard at times. Even though he had angry outbursts, and was maniacal. You still loved him.

A crack of thunder erupted from the clouds, lightning joining it. Then large raindrops started pouring down. You and Peter sat up, becoming soaked straight away. The rain poured fast and hard, thunder and lightning joining it.

“I guess this is our call to go back to camp,” you looked up at the gloomy sky.

“Yeah, I guess,” Peter muttered, holding your hand still. “Or we could kiss.”

You turned to Peter, giving him a look. “Kiss? Right now in the rain? What are we, in some romantic movie?”

“In this case, yes,” he grinned, poking your nose. “Kissing in the rain seems fun.

We could get struck by lightning, but you want to kiss in the rain?” You raised your eyebrows.

Peter got close to you, his faces centimeters from yours. “Well, excuse me for falling in love with you.” He smirked. “I want to kiss you in the rain. It’s a big hype, and kissing you right here right now will make me understand why it’s this huge deal.”

You rolled your eyes, but kissed him in the rain. You held onto his shoulders, his hand going to your back. He smiled into the kiss, causing you to smile. 

A loud crack of thunder broke you two apart. You both looked into the sky, holding onto one another still. Peter looked back at you , watching you stare up into the sky. He grinned, gently placing his hand on your chin. He pulled you in again, kissing you passionately.

“I love you,” he whispered to you and only you. 

“I do, too. I love you so much.”

Instead of Peter teleporting the two of you back to camp,you both walked. You held hands the entire time, walking in the rain. It was nice and calming. Plenty of kisses were shared during the walk. Not many words were exchanged, you and Peter enjoying the sounds of the rain and thunder.

“Where have you two been?” A Lost Boy asked once you two finally got back.

“We’ve only been walking and talking,” you smirked. “Let’s get inside, I don’t want to deal with any of you getting sick.”

The remaining Lost Boys that were still outside listened to you. They went inside their tents, disappearing for the night. You and Peter walked inside his treehouse, both changing out of the wet clothes and into warm pajamas. 

“Was kissing in the rain everything you wished for?” You joked with as you laid down next to him.

“Absolutely,” he said with equal sarcasm. “It was nice, though. Now I understand why people do it in the movies.” 

You chuckled, grinning from ear to ear. You pecked his lips goodnight. “Night. See you in the morning.”

“Night, my love.”

You shut your eyes, sleeping taking over you in a few minutes. Peter held you close the entire night.

Things the signs remind me of (part 2)

Aries: Scraped knees, impatient tapping, winning a race, high fives, hitting the wrong note on a piano

Taurus: alphabet soup, spinning until you get dizzy, collecting rocks, the sound of flip-flops on pavement 

Gemini: Looking over the side of a tall building, walking the streets late at night, karaoke at 3am, scrapbooking

Cancer: The laugh you make when you actually just want to cry, playing card games, visiting relatives, a soft hum

Leo: Winning an argument, stomping feet, a new haircut, closing your eyes and jumping off a swing

Virgo: Black hair dye, new bed sheets, a comfortable sweater, silent goodbyes, waiting for tomorrow

Libra: white nylons, yellow paint, the sound of sirens in the distant, smokey fall evenings, daisies pressed in a book, wet paintbrushes 

Scorpio: Piano music, taking a new path home, long walks going nowhere, dogs excitedly barking, a cat flickering it’s tail

Sagittarius: Papercuts, old story books, diving headfirst into water, sticky hands, loose string on clothes

Capricorn: B-side films, inside jokes, coughing while everyone is quiet, falling asleep early, sketchpads that never got used

Aquarius: Sitting alone in the dark, doodling while on the phone, random bruises, cold winter nights

Pisces: Smiling instead of crying, acing a test you didn’t study for, finding old letters, drawing on skin, water in a still creek

Tell Her You Love Her: Step Ten: She'll Tell You All Her Hopes and Dreams

Tell Her You Love Her

Step 10: She’ll Tell You All Her Hopes and Dreams

“You ready?” My dad’s gentle voice jolted me from my vigil on the cleaned mattress.

“Huh?” I said, but everything fell back into place: I’m moving. I’m going home. “Yeah, I’m ready.”

My smile pulls tiredly at the corners of my lips, fighting hard to stretch the skin across my cheeks. Can he see the guilt mirrored in the eyes I inherited from him? Wide and frank and now tinged with shame. I look down cautiously, my arms coming up to cross over the cotton of my tee-shirt.

“Honey bee,” he starts, his frail hand reaching for my shoulder gingerly, “Are you alright? You seem—well, not yourself.” His brow is already furrowing with worry, defining those cracks in the wan, parchment-like flesh of his face. The scars of sickness, no matter how resilient he might be, all too evident in the small tears of his face. Cracks in old, time worn china.

Sure that my voice would betray me, and all too aware of my unusual behavior, my eyes continue wandering over the white mattress, seeing what he cannot: the ghost of two figures; the impression of their bodies becoming one upon its sea of softness. And, even more, the less tangible things: the passion; the love; the guilt; the sin.

A feather light touch upon freckled skin. A stolen kiss in a setting summer sun. A betrayal wrapped in a bow, but with all of the bite of a cobra.

My fingers bruise the flesh of my arm, digging into the elastic softness until it gives way to angry red marks. The pain escapes me, though, shoved away as I continue to see my sin play before my eyes. I can smell the alcohol in the air, pungent but sweet. It still touches my tongue, my throat, my gut. My stomach churns at the thought, but I force the inching bile back down.

Think, what happened last night? Remember, dammit!

The memories are splotchy and hazed as if they were photos taken by an unsteady hand. Black holes take up the gaps in my recollection, filling each opening with its darkness. It’s like walking through an unfamiliar dark room: I feel my way through and guess where each object is, and where the path beneath my feet may be.

“Alright, I’ll take this last box out, then. You sweep through and check that you have everything, ok, honeybee?” My dad said, already halfway out the door.

“Yeah,” I said on an exhale of breath, tearing my eyes from the bed, “Sounds good.”

He’s gone, offering a small smile on his way out. It takes all of my remaining strength not to crumple and cry pathetically. How can I be so self-pitying? I am to blame for what may…or may not have happened here last night. My fingers shoot up to trace my lips absently as I make my way around the empty dorm. I can still feel his lips covering mine. Or, was that all my imagination? Did our lips ever actually brush in the dark hours of the night? Did his hand ever clasp the nape of my neck, as he drug his lips over my pulse running through me? Did my hands really touch the bare, hot skin of his chest? My head began spinning with the effort, dizzying me into a seat upon the soft mattress.

“Are we really guilty of what I think?” The question hangs like a cloud in the sky. Soft and constantly shifting.

How do I even go about asking? My hands tingle with the desire to call him, to hear his voice, to know the truth. What would I say, though? How did I get around humiliation, or even worse, anger? Maybe it was better to not know the reality of last night, to not know if the beautiful sin was real. As if on cue, the dream of last night came flooding back full force.

“I love you,” he whispered into the crook of my neck, where the curve of my shoulder joins and sweeps up to my head—the place that he said was most captivating.

I shivered visibly as the breath of each syllable hit my warm skin, turning into a pile of gooseflesh. Surprisingly cool in the summer’s heat, I clung to him like a leaf to a branch. The words traveled over my skin, razing the hairs, before sinking in and filling me with their vibrations.

“I love you, too, Namjoon.” The words formed their own life on my tongue, tumbling out like a trickling stream. But, I knew that I meant them now more than ever.

The tense lines of his neck moved as he swallowed, stretching beneath the gold of his skin. I moved my own lips to touch the pulse beneath his feverish flesh. Astonished, I nearly jumped away as I felt the frantic thumping beneath my mouth. Was he nervous? Did he not want this? Did he not expect it? What had I done wrong? My mind was a frenzy of panic, but it was soothed away by the slow smile that molded his lips, the softness of his midnight eyes, the brushing of his delicate fingertips over my cheek. An exhale of sweet breath escaped my lips and met his own, floating in the sticky air of summer heat.

“Always?” His mouth touched my ear. The expression of his face invisible as his hand traced lazy patterns across my waist.

Biting my lip, I struggled through the haze building up around my senses, but managed a soft, “Always.”

I pulled my hand back from the screen of my phone, dismissing my wishes. It is better this way, I decided. So, the mattress disappearing behind me, along with all of its memories, I closed the door on my fantasy and sin, moving on to the promises of summer.

~XxXxXxX~

“Knock, knock,” a familiar voice said over the tapping of my bedroom door.

Jolting up from my bed, book forgotten over the unmade covers, I raced to the arms of Noah. The smell of cologne and linens brought comfort to my fraying nerves. Thoughts of Namjoon and I were harder to dismiss than I had assumed, and had been running rampant in my mind for several grueling hours. But, the familiarity of Noah’s embrace shooed all of the confusion away. His kind, keen blue gaze steadied my fluttering heart.

“I’m happy to see you, too,” he said through a slight chuckle, a pleasant smile stretching his lips.

“Sorry,” I said. Reluctantly, I pulled away from his embrace, the softness of his polo disappearing.

“No,” he said, rushing to explain, “I am really happy to see you. I always am. It’s just that you usually aren’t so…affectionate.”

Releasing a sheepish grin, I gave a shrug, still holding my hands over his shoulders. “I missed you. It happens from time to time. You shouldn’t question it, fancy pants. Just cherish it.”

Snorting through his nose, he gave a short, derisive laugh. Before I could swat at his shoulder for his rudeness, he ducked his head and pressed his lips to mine. My lips reacted immediately, moving with the pace of his soft, crescent shaped mouth, which was always slow and purposeful—even when he spoke. It was particular in its movements, as if it were programmed into the joints, muscles, and bones of his being. The backs of his hands brushed the damp straggles of hair behind my back, leaving the flesh of my neck to prickle in the breeze of the open window. Feather-light touches of his fingers roved the base of my throat, leaving trails of shapes and tingles in their wake. It felt like melting, as if I were a snowflake in July.

“I always,” he purred, “Cherish you, love.”

My mouth was dry; my tongue darting out to parch the skin of my lips. “Prove it.”

A smirk swelled over his mouth, and I braced myself. Make me forget. Make me remember only you.

Those perfectly carved lips came crashing in a wave of passion, and promise, over mine. It felt like drowning, I considered distantly, somewhere behind the surge of desire rising in my gut. I was submerged in his smell, his taste, his touch. Lips already swollen beneath the pressure of his, I gave a gasp, tasting the tongue within. He was sweet and minty and clean beneath my teeth, lips, and tongue. A groan tore up his throat as my teeth drug themselves over his jaw, down a cord in his neck, to the juncture of his shoulder. My hands were knotting in the black of his hair like roots of some grand tree holding to the dirt. I was lost, but not in him. There was white and gold and dimples forming at the backs of my eyelids. Guilt was edging its way into my head like the coming of nightfall, slow and descending.

“I would if you’d let me lead for a change,” he said breathlessly, a chuckle escaping on a moan.

Flushing, my cheeks burned as I pulled away, unhitching myself from his strong frame. “Oh please,” I teased, “If I let you lead we’d be talking about chemistry again. And, not the good kind.”

“There is much to be learned from chemistry, miss,” he sniffed, taking on the pompous, airy quality he knew annoyed me.

“Fancy pants,” I warned. My arms were coiling around his shoulders as if they were two hungry snakes wrapping around their prey. His eyes fell to my lips, shadowed by the fringe of his hair.

“This,” he said, breathing over my lips, “Is chemistry, you know?”

“Yeah, the good kind.”

A warm, musky breeze wafted through the window, still ajar beside us. The chorus of crickets and toads was subdued by the sound of an engine idling in our driveway, coming to rest with a ‘click’. My hands slithered away from Noah’s broad shoulders as the sound of two doors closed, resonating in the stillness of my room. Our catching breaths mixed with the symphony of summer around us until even they dissipated.  

“Honey bee!” My dad’s voice called up the staircase. The click-clack of my mother’s heels on the floor loud against the floorboards as the front door slid closed.

“Coming,” I said, my eyes apologizing to the sapphire pair in a way my mouth never could. His gaze was steady, soft, and placid, as if he were impervious to the constant interruptions of my life.

“What is it?” The grin on my dad’s face was nothing unordinary, but the paper he was waving about, like some white flag, was.

“Oh, honey,” my mother said, sliding out of her heels with instant gratification, “Don’t tease her. Read the letter.”

Noah and I both inhaled sharply. A letter? This must be from Mr. Ross—the journalist in NYC I had applied for internship with. My fingers wrapped tightly over the knuckles of Noah’s, crushing the bones with anticipation. The air in my lungs caught as I stood motionless at the top of the stairs.

Clearing his throat audibly, my dad began reading as directed. “Miss. Gray, I am pleased to inform you that you have been chosen as Mr. Jean Ross’s intern for the fall of 2015.”

All of the breath in my lungs escaped in one exhale as I collapsed to the stairs. My eyes were wide with disbelief, hands covering my mouth in tandem. Noah’s arms were around me instantly, holding the trembling mess of my crumpled body. His voice was distant in my ears as he whispered words like congratulations, and so proud of you. But, all I could hear was the thump-thump of my heart drumming loudly in my chest. My mom’s face was in front of me, speaking hurriedly about plans and flights and safety. Dad’s voice was somewhere below, laughing and reading on about Mr. Ross and the provisions I would receive. It was as if a grenade had been released and blown in the room, all of the sound muffled beneath the shrill ringing in my ears.

“Love,” Noah’s voice said, breaking through the ringing sound, “Say something.”

My voice was muffled behind my fingers. “Something.”

“That’s my girl,” my dad said, giving a snort of laughter.

Noah’s hands hoisted me to my feet, steadying me as my mom continued to talk. “—and, of course, she would love to have you stay with her. You know, she is there for a campaign with her agent. I do worry about her being on her own so much, but she has always been the independent one—that’s not to say that you aren’t! You’re just so young, and I do worry—.”

“Mom,” I said, teetering on the edge of a stair, “Slow down. Who are you talking about?”

My mother blinked. “Julia, of course. I thought it would be good of you to stay with your sister. You two need to bond, and she can keep you safe and comfortable.”

I fought the cringe that worked its way over my face. Julia, my beautiful big sister was staying in NYC, and, of course, had room to spare for her baby sister. The perfect, charming, model Julia. My hands clenched into tight fists with the thought of her face, always gorgeous, flawless. It was unfair, really, that she should receive all of the beauty, while I had none. We both had the same “Gray” coloring—skin the shade of milk—but that was where our similarities ended. She was willowy, slender, and angular. I was small, gangly, and soft.

“Julia? But, she moves all of the time.” I relaxed my hands as my mom eyed them pointedly.

“She is staying there for the rest of the year. She has that new campaign—the one I told you about. Very big deal. We’re so proud,” my mom said, looking at Noah as if he cared, which he put on a show of, as usual.

“Right,” I said, “I suppose I have no real choice in this, then?” Jealousy was getting the better of me, and I could feel it suffusing my cheeks with angry heat.

“That’s right.” My mom smiled pleasantly, her fingers chucking underneath my chin. “It’s for your own good.”

“Of course it is,” I said, giving her a steely glare.

Dad, thankfully, intervened, clapping his hands and shouting, “Alright, let’s celebrate! Where to honey-bee? Your choice.”

My mom backed away, trudging down the stairs to stand alongside my father. I felt Noah’s hand drawing calming circles on my back, as he and I began walking down the wooden staircase, too. The T.V. was flickering behind my dad, outlining him in an eerie shade of blue. My mom was sliding back into her heels, clasping her handbag closed as she came back to stand. The lines in her face stood out like the bars of a window, making her look worn and exhausted. Instantly, I regretted my attitude before. She had been dealt a bad hand recently, we all had, but she had been the one hit the hardest, the one with the most responsibility.

The need to hug her enveloped me, but I kept still, standing beside Noah. “Let’s go to Pad Thai.”

It was tradition. My father always brought me and Julia there when we were children, and even as I grew, I insisted on the hole-in-the-wall eatery. The spice and tang of the cuisine was delectable, but even more so was the culture of the place, full of paintings of Buddha and other elaborate gods. There was so much beauty to be seen in the intricacies of each painting and statue, that I was always enthralled with the place as a child. My sister never cared for it, but Namjoon, whom was attached to my side growing up, did.

I felt a rush of guilt and shame well up in me as we all began shuffling out to my dad’s car. Thankful for the darkness outside, I felt heat rush up and over my cheeks at the memories—real or not was still to be seen—racing around my head. My hand pressed over the phone in my pocket, itching to hear his rasping voice, to hear him laugh and whoop as I told him that my dreams of NYC and journalism were materializing, but I willed my hands to hold Noah’s warm ones as we drove away to celebrate. Stars were twinkling down from a blue-black sky, winking at me through the window with secrets and promises of their own.

~XxXxXxXxX~

My phone was vibrating loudly on the side table, loud enough that it woke me up, gasping from the burning images of naked bodies and breathy sighs. I worked to clear my throat and slid my hand toward my phone. Eyes widening, I saw his name light up my screen. My fingers couldn’t work fast enough to answer the call, shoving it to my ear, feeling awake and very much alive.

“Hello.” My voice was rushed; still hoarse with remnants of sleep.

There was a pause, and my heart sank with the thought of him hanging up, but his gruff voice said, “Hey, bucket.”

Nicknames, that meant normalcy, right? My heart still raced frantically with each passing breath, terrified about the words waiting to be said. They were sitting in my throat, heavy and thick like molasses, tightening the restraints of my throat. I swallowed hard, but could not dislodge them.

“So,” he said, filling in the silence I had left behind, “I saw your sister’s tweet. You’re going to stay with her in New York? When were you going to tell me?”

“Oh,” I said, surprised by his choice of topic, even though it was most recent and relevant, “Yeah, it’s just for a semester. Remember the internship I applied for? Well, I was chosen. Me, Namjoon, of all people. I’m starting to wonder whether or not my parents paid him handsomely or something.”

“Me too,” he said, releasing a fit of laughter as I began sputtering and ranting about my many credentials—as if he didn’t already know them. “Chill out, girl. I was teasing, but you’re feisty as always, aren’t you?”

“You bet I am,” I said, chuckling and moving the blanket from my bare legs. “I have to make sure that everyone is aware of my mad skills, bro. If that means that I go into stark-raving-mad-rant mode then so be it.”

“What is wrong with you?” His laughter was contagious. I could see the perfectly white grin of his face, the dimple of his cheek, the heave of his shoulders, it was all there in my memories.

“Lots,” I said bluntly. “Now, what did you call me for at this hour?”

“This hour?”

“Yeah, well most people don’t call at 2 am for witty banter and casual chit-chat.”

“I’m not most people.” He was amused, but there was something else lingering on the rim of his voice, something darker. Something serious.

“That’s true,” I said, laughing shortly, still hyper-aware of his intensity. “You’re always the exception to the rule, oh-mighty-dance-monster, aren’t you?”

“Are you making fun of my moves? Because if you are, I might just have to kick your ass.”

“You’re dodging,” I said, using his signature line. That silenced him. His soft breath was the only thing proving he hadn’t hung up altogether.

I counted to ten in my head, staring at the black shapes of my room, illuminated by the sudden stream of moonlight in the window. Must be full, I guessed. Namjoon’s voice came out strained, tight, and thin like butter spread over too much bread. “I shouldn’t have called. I’m sorry.”

“Namjoon,” I started, my voice climbing in my throat, too loud and high in the stillness of the sleeping house, “Wait! Don’t go! Please!”

But, he was gone. My phone dropped from my hand to the pillow, cushioning its fall. The weight of my head drooped into my hands, too heavy to stay up any longer. So, something had happened that night? His strangeness had confirmed it. Oh, God! I had been so drunk! What if I was bad? What if he didn’t even want any of it in the first place! Ugh, I wish I never would have agreed to drink together that night.

The feeling of a smooth, cool pebble hitting my shoulder startled me, forcing me to crawl toward the window next to my bed. Peering down at the shadowy lawn, I saw a black figure, its arm still poised in the air, ready to launch another rock. The moon was hidden behind a puff of cloud, blotting out any light, making me strain to see the stranger beneath my window, until it finally shifted and shot big beams of silvery light down onto the figure.

Blond hair was cast the same silvery-white of the moon as the steaks of light hit his head. I could just make out the white of his smile and the glitter of his black eyes. The pebble flew past me as he cocked his arm back and tossed it up, laughing loudly when I scowled. Namjoon. He was full of surprises tonight.

“Well,” he said, kicking grass and dirt with his foot, “Are you going to let me in through the door? Or, do I have to climb the drain pipe?”

“You’re unbelievable.” I rolled my eyes, but could not suppress the grin spreading across my face.

“I get that a lot.”

“Cheeky,” I replied, backing away from the window and quietly making my way to the front door, opening is hurriedly, “What the Hell, Namjoon? You could have just told me you were here, you weirdo.”

He gave me a toothy smile, looking all too pleased with himself. “Now, that would have been boring and unromantic.”

“But, much more practical and less likely to injure me or my things.”

“Sure,” he said, shoving his hands in his pockets, “But not nearly as humorous.You know, I thought you were going to throw something at me there at the end.”

“I was,” i deadpanned, moving to let him pass me, and he immediately took position on the blue and white striped couch. “So.”

“So,” He repeated. His elbows were propped over his thighs, his chin in his palms. The shadows beneath his eyes were hollow, black pits upon his golden skin. I felt a shiver at memories of his dramatic transformation only months before, and flipped the light switch on.

Fluorescent light flooded the living room, giving life to the pictures and furniture. The coffee table was in disarray with dad’s books, some lying open and others closed with little bookmarks jutting from their pages. Mom’s purse was lonely and lying in the armchair, while her shoes sat in front of the door, carelessly tossed to the side. I bit my lip as I glimpsed the letter lying face up over one of the end tables, feeling Namjoon’s eyes find it, too.

“Are you ready for the Big Apple?” His voice was smooth, none of the strain left over from our previous conversation.

No one had asked me that yet, and I felt a well of fear run through me. I had never been overseas, had never even been on a plane. He must have seen the terror in my eyes, or heard it in the sharpness of my breath, because he was up in an instant, crossing the room in long strides, his arms wrapping tightly around my waist. “Of course you are, what a silly question.”

My body melted, the tension falling away like snow scattering off a tree. The smell of spice and summer and truth heavy in the air—the smell of Namjoon. His chest was strong beneath my head, the heartbeat constant and unbroken. I could feel his hot breath on my neck as he leaned down and planted a chaste kiss over my temple. Memories of that night were rushing back with the touch of his lips and I felt myself jump away, like a hand from a flame.

Dark eyes flickered in the light, but the emotion was nameless and quick. “Sorry,” he murmured.

“No,” I said, surprised by the steadiness in my own voice. Where had this strength come from? My hands clenched and unclenched, releasing the tension coursing through me like currents of electricity. “Don’t be sorry. Just tell me—tell me what happened. Tell me about that night.”

I knew he would understand my meaning. His eyes shifted, his neck moving with his struggle to swallow. The voice that escaped his throat was foreign, a shadow of his usual gruffness. It was like listening to the voice of a dying man—lifeless and cold.

“What do you want to know?”

“Everything.” My voice was so quiet that I had to strain to hear it as it escaped my lips.

His lips were hard a hard line, reflecting the sharp angle of his jaw. Those eyes never looking at me, but always just past me, as if he was seeing something that I could not. The sound of snoring was swimming through the air, dancing around us, offering peace, but we held still, letting the tension pull so tight around us I could have screamed.

“You were really that drunk?” It was clipped; terse; hostile.

Where was this coming from? Namjoon, on the rare occasion he was upset, never lowered himself to aggressive, boorish behavior. He was the calm, silent ire, with all of the ice of the polar caps on Earth, while I was the fury, fiery volcanic rush of its core.

I felt the slap of his words against my cheek, stinging and hard. I was not going to attempt to placate someone so inimical, so harsh. I would fight ice with flames. My voice was venomous, curling with its anger and malice. “And whose fault is that? It was your idea! You could have stopped me whenever you wanted, but you kept pouring drink after drink. Don’t think I forgot that little detail.”

“You’re a big girl! When are you going to grow up? Jesus, I can’t watch over you forever.” His voice was low, but that only made it more frightening. I didn’t flinch or wince, I stood immobile, defiant against the missiles unleashed. Let them explode. Let them catch fire. I can take it.

My voice was strangely calm, as I said, “You’re right, I do need to grow up. I need to stop playing with my childhood toys.” It was his turn to reach for his cheek with the pain of a verbal slap.  “I don’t remember asking you to watch over me, Namjoon. I can do that myself. I never needed you to do it for me.”

“I see.” It was simple, very uncharacteristic of Namjoon. “Well, I guess this childhood toy will just see his way out of your life then.”

His strides were long and purposeful as he made his way back to the door, yanking it open and crossing into the warmth of the night. Halfway across the lawn, I stopped him, my feet planted firmly on the planks of the porch. “Wait! Namjoon!”

Turning, he eyed me warily, awaiting more coarse words. My mouth opened, the question spilling out like paint over a canvas, all colors and undertones. “Did it—did we?”

Perhaps it was the moonlight gleaming across his eyes, or perhaps a speck of dust crossed his path, but whatever it was (surely not emotion) I saw the gloss of wetness in his gaze. “Does it matter if you can’t remember anyway?”

“Yes,” I said unthinkingly.

The trees shifted with a breeze, groaning under their own weight. Namjoon, too, was crumbling, all slumped shoulders and bowed head  mirroring the dance of the trees. A surge of guilt ran its way through me, but then he was answering. His voice was a whisper in the wind, all the softness of the caress of lips on my cheek. “What do you want me to say? Whatever answer you want, I am willing to give it to you.”

I shook my head as I moved toward the green grass, which had turned black in the shadows. “That’s not the same thing as the truth. The truth, Namjoon, that’s what I want.”

A few breaths was all it took to make my way across the yard to him. His eyes met mine for the first time that night, and I saw everything reflected there in the pools of his gaze. The truth of everything. I saw us, and him, and me. I saw myself lingering an arm’s length away, and I saw the way he saw me: innocent, warm, wild, electric, elegant, bold. It took my breath away, my hand clasping over my chest as my heart gave a slight start.

“The truth is,” he began, but I think I knew the words before they tumbled from his lips, “I will never stop loving you. The truth is I never should have told you. I never should have let you see inside my heart. I don’t want it to trouble your mind, to mess up your chances at happiness.”

His voice was a rush of breath and honesty. Raw and clarifying.

“The truth is that you are the most beautiful girl I have ever known. I could easily lose my mind each time I think about your lips, your eyes, and your touch, and maybe I have. Maybe I have finally lost all of my sanity, but that only makes me surer in my declarations of love for you.”

My tongue was leaden in my mouth; lips immobile as I stared unblinkingly at the obsidian eyes. I felt so small there in his orbs, standing stiller than death. His hands came to rest at the back of my head, tentative until I leaned my head back so that he touched the loose tendrils of my hair. A thousand miles from comfort, I still felt that this was where I was supposed to be: in his hands.

“The truth is what you make of it,” he said, brushing a lock of hair from my cheek.

“Stop dodging,” I whispered, my eyes focusing on his lips where the ghost of a smile appeared.

“The truth is,” he murmured, his lips skimming mine tenderly, “We didn’t.”

“Oh.” It was all I could manage. The anticipation, the thrill, the desire, it was all a fantasy. I was utterly deflated, a balloon popped and soaring down from the sky. “I, umm, I see.”

Reading my unhappiness, he hugged me to him, the warmth of his skin hot against mine. The tip of his nose brushed against my own as he swiped one thumb over my chin. Those familiar dark eyes holding mine with their chains. “I wanted you to remember if we ever did. And, I wanted you to know it was me, not him.”

“Oh, Namjoon,” I murmured, “I would never believe it to be anyone else.” The words left my face hot and blushing. My fingers playing lazily with the hair at the nape of his neck.

“Promise?” His lips were tantalizingly close.

My voice was alien, all raspy and fervent and needy, “Promise.”

His lips, after what seemed like forever, descended upon mine. A wave of warmth over the parched sand of a beach, powerful and threatening to pull me over and under, to crush and break me, to wear me down to softness as the sea would wear down a shard of glass. His fingers curled into the back of my tank top, carving themselves into the elastic, trying to claw their way through to my skin. The taste of sin and love and life was twirling over my tongue, fluttering my heart like the gossamer wings of a faerie. This, I felt my voice say distantly, is what it really feels like to drown.

Coming up for air, his lips still touched mine, his hands still holding me tightly. “I will make sure you never forget about me.”

The shiver of anticipation trailed its way down my spine as he lifted me from the lawn and carried me back inside. Hope rushed over me like the breeze of summer, kissing my skin with its promises. My dreams of journalism and New York bowed out to the dream I had hidden away for so long. The dream shoved precariously in a tattered box was coming to fruition at last.

“Namjoon,” I whispered.

“Hmm,” he said, sliding the door closed with the back of his foot.

“What is your biggest dream?–Aside from fame.”

“You.” It was so sure; so automatic. So true.

I felt the softness of my bed appear beneath me, a cloud of feathers and cotton. A smile made its way over my lips as his own hovered just above them. “You are my dream too, Namjoon. Always.”

My phone lie forgotten on the bed, a half typed ‘goodnight’ message to Noah still waiting to be finished and sent. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dun, dun, dun. It’s happening folks. The betrayal. The sin. The cheating. I do NOT condone that type of behavior, but it makes for juicy drama! I hope you enjoyed this step! Thanks for reading!

belleoftheballpoint  asked:

Sending you a no pressure prompt to mull over: Roland and Henry are playing hide and seek, and Henry catches Roland hiding in Regina's office where he knows the kid isn't supposed to be [Mom sometimes keeps emergency potions in there]. When he goes to get Roland, he finds him opening a potion bottle; it gives Roland puppy dog ears and a tail. You decide how Regina, Robin, Henry, Roland all react. :D

“Well,” Henry said the moment the lavender smoke began to clear. “I had a good run. Thirteen years, that’s not bad. Maybe Mom will even let me choose where I’ll be buried after she kills me.”

“This is so cool!”” Roland crowed, spinning around in a circle to get a glimpse of his new tail, looking like such a convincing puppy that Henry was half-worried that the spell had only begun to take effect, and soon there would be an actual dog sitting in the middle of Regina’s office.

Regina’s office that was 100% off-limits to anyone who couldn’t see a PG-13 movie. Regina’s office that Henry had been told specifically to make sure Roland stayed out of. Yeah, Henry was a dead man walking.

“Roland, you’re making me dizzy,” Henry moaned, holding his head in his hands. He was pretty sure he was going to be sick.

“Sorry, Henry. Do you wanna pet my ears? Would that make you feel better? They’re really soft,” Roland told him, creeping closer so that Henry could feel. He gave one of Roland’s new, fluffy ears a halfhearted pet. It was soft.

“You’re taking this remarkably well,” he said flatly.

“This is the coolest thing that’s ever happened to me! Best game of hide and seek ever!”

“No, not the best game ever, Roland. Do you realize how much trouble we’re going to be in when my mom and your dad get home?”

“Why would we be in trouble? It was an accident. I didn’t mean to knock the bottle over.”

“Yeah, that was an accident, but you know we’re not supposed to play in here, Roland, remember? You broke Mom’s rule, and when she finds out, she’s going to be upset. And probably mad.” And then she’ll fix you, and kill me, in that order.

Slowly, Henry watched Roland’s face fall, his lower lip protruding, his eyes filling with tears. “I don’t want Regina to be mad at me,” he whispered.

“Well, it’s a little late for that, not unless we think fast. Maybe the spell will wear off on its own…” Henry eyed Roland critically, watching as his tail, which had been wagging happily, began to droop with the realization that he was indeed in big trouble. “Or  maybe we can hide it so they don’t find out. My other mom might be able to help us out, and if we beg her, she won’t spill the beans.” He paused a second. “Probably.”

“How do we hide it?” Roland asked anxiously. “They’ll be home soon!”

“Don’t panic yet. I’ve got an idea…”

——–

In the end, it wasn’t Henry’s best plan.

The gray beanie was pulled so low over Roland’s head that it brushed his eyelashes, making it almost impossible for the boy to see. It hid Roland’s huge, floppy dog ears, but only just, and the hat didn’t sit just right on his head because of them. The tail was a bit easier to hide–Henry had given Roland a pair of gray sweatpants to put on, which hid it well as long as he didn’t wag it (which Henry was realizing, wasn’t always entirely up to Roland–he wasn’t sure if tail-wagging was some doggy instinct or what, and frankly he didn’t have time to dwell on it right now. His cell phone was glued to his hand in case Emma texted him back, but so far it didn’t look like she had even read his text, and there was only radio silence from her end of the walkie-talkie.

Henry and Roland were on their own as they heard the tell-tale sound of his mother’s car in the driveway. He whirled around to face Roland.

“Remember, do exactly as I tell you. Just like we practiced. Pretend everything’s normal, and they won’t suspect anything.”

Roland smiled and gave a shaky thumbs-up, and Henry wondered what song they would play at his funeral.

“We’re home!” his mother’s voice called out, filling Henry with dread. “Where is everybody?”

“Playing video games!” Henry called back, tossing Roland a controller. “It’s getting really good or we would have come to say hello.”

Robin appeared in the doorway of the living room, looking puzzled. “I don’t hear any video game music.”

“We had it on mute so we could discuss strategy.”

Robin still looked confused as his gaze alighted upon his son. “Why the hat, Roland?”

“He was cold,” Henry said quickly.

Regina came to stand next to Robin, eyeing the boys with her arms crossed in front of her chest. Her gaze swept from Henry to Roland as if trying to read their minds, and Roland gave a nervous smile and a wave. “Hi Regina. Hi Daddy. Did you have a nice trip to the store?”

“Yes, taco shells were on sale again. Roland, why are you sitting like that?”

“It’s comfy.”

“Roland?”

“I’m not lying!”

Roland’s voice had suddenly become a pitch higher, and Henry closed his eyes.

“Is there anything you two would like to tell us?”

“No,” they chorused, and the adults exchanged a look.

“Roland, why are you wearing that hat?”

“My ears–I was cold,” Roland corrected himself.

“It must be hard to see the TV with it like that.”

“I’m fine.”

“Roland, come here,” Robin said suddenly. Roland shot Henry a look of panic.

“…No, Papa, you come over here.”

“Roland,” Robin repeated, his voice calm, but his eyes serious and not to be questioned. “Now, please.”

Roland sighed and slumped off the couch, walking over to his father and Regina with his eyes downcast. He didn’t look up at them as Regina glanced at Robin before gently taking the hat off Roland’s head.

“Oh my God,” she breathed as the ears were revealed.

Robin clapped a hand over his mouth to hide the smile.

“It gets worse,” Roland said miserably. Reaching behind him, he pulled the sweatpants down just enough so that the tail was freed, and it wagged sadly twice.

Robin let out a strangled sound as he tried to keep in his laughter. Henry wanted to melt into the floor.

“Robin, seriously,” Regina admonished. She turned back to Henry and Roland. “Do either of you want to tell me how this happened?”

“It was an accident, Regina. I’m so, so sorry.”

“What kind of accident.”

Henry leapt up from the couch. “It was my fault, Mom, not Roland’s. We were playing hide and seek–”

“I know I’m not supposed to go inside your office–”

“I couldn’t find him in time–”

“There was a lot of bottles and I knocked one over and it didn’t break but it was leaking on the side and so I opened it up–”

The two boys continued their explanations, talking over each other, until Regina held up a hand. Robin was practically biting his fingers to keep himself from laughing.

“We have rules for a reason,” his mother said carefully. “And I don’t appreciate being lied to.”

Chastised, the boys stared at the ground. Roland’s ears and tail drooped, anad Robin snorted.

“Oh for heaven’s sakes. Go into the kitchen,” Regina ordered, and Robin obeyed immediately. The moment he was out of the room, he exploded into loud, ringing peals of laughter. Regina rolled her eyes, but Henry saw that Roland, too, was fighting back a smile.

“If Papa’s laughing…does that mean we’re not in that much trouble?” he asked hopefully.

Regina stared down at him, her lips twitching as she tried to hide her own smile. She gently petted one of Roland’s fluffy ears, and he beamed. “Your Papa isn’t having quite the reaction I would have hoped, and you can bet we’ll discuss that later, just him and me. And you do make a wonderful dog. But I like my human Roland better. So you’re going to come with me and we’re going to fix you up. We’ll discuss punishments later.” She turned her watcheful eye on Henry and gave him a significant look. “Both of you.”

She scooped Roland into her arms and swept away, leaving Henry to ponder his fate.

In the end, it took his mom about five seconds to reverse the spell. Roland missed his new additions, but he agreed that a short time-out and dusting the living room every day for a week was a decent punishment. Henry accepted his month of dish duty without argument. It was better than he had hoped for.

“Why did you even have that potion?” he asked later, looking up from loading the dishwasher.

His mom just gave him a mysterious smile. “I’m allowed to have my secrets. You never know…maybe I kept it on hand to prove a point that my office is off-limits.”

Cas sat in the chair at Dean’s desk, slowly spinning in circles, watching the room go by in a slow blur.

“You seriously watched that movie?” Dean was saying, from where he lay on his bed, top half of his body hanging upside down off of it. 

“I don’t see why that is such a strange piece of information to you, Dean,” Cas yawned, closing his eyes to see what the spinning was like. He didn’t like it and opened his eyes again, watching his best friend blur by every few seconds.

“And it made you cry?” Cas wasn’t looking at him but it sounded like he laughed a little.

Cas made sure his huge eye roll was evident to Dean the next time he was facing him. “It is an emotional storyline, I felt bad for them.”

“Dude,” Dean snorted, “how gay even are you?”

“It depends, but like 50% most of the time.” Cas shrugged, reversing direction in the chair, as he was getting a bit dizzy.

There was dead silence from Dean.

“Though it isn’t like showing emotion is overtly homosexual in nature, that connection is hardly necessary,” Cas stated, pushing a little harder on the desk to spin himself. “What?” he asked, when Dean remained silent. Not that he didn’t know exactly what. He’d been planning coming out to Dean for a while, and so much had stopped him, and then it just slipped out in a clever retort.

“Did you seriously just…” Dean had sat up.

“Yes,” Cas answered, spinning a little faster.

“Dude slow down you’re gonna hurt yourself.”

Cas felt the chair get pulled to a rather abrupt stop and within a few seconds he was facing Dean. Well, he was facing about four of Dean. He was rather dizzy.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” the Deans asked.

“Dean,” Cas said to him, reaching out and attempting to put his hand on the actual Dean’s shoulder. It only took him two tries. “This doesn’t have to make anything different, I-”

Dean cut him off. “Hell yeah it’s gonna make things different. Especially if you say yes when I ask you if you wanna go see a movie or something.” Dean’s face was bright red, and by this time there was only one of his face.

Cas blinked at him, a whole new kind of dizzy overtaking him. “Yes.”

Dean smiled shyly. “Awesome.”

They grinned at each other a little while longer, before Dean chuckled sheepishly. “And for the record, that movie made me cry too.”

Cas rolled his eyes again, though still unable to keep from smiling.

anonymous asked:

How do other asexual aromantics cope with the feeling of missing out? I'm feeling kind of blue cause romance sounds so lovely but I don't think I'll ever be able to experience that.

Oof. I feel you on this one.

Your mileage may vary, and I’m not sure that what I do is necessarily going to help you, but here is a short list of things you can do when you’re feeling the AroAce Blues.

  • Make or acquire your favorite food and eat it. (How can I be missing out on anything when black licorice exists? Clearly, its existence is proof that the universe loves me and wants me to be happy.)
  • Look at pictures of kittens/large fluffy dogs/leopard geckos/whatever animal you think is the absolute cutest. Alternately, acquire an actual animal if you have access to one and snuggle it. Those animals love you and want you to be happy.
  • Make contact with someone who matters to you. Phone call, text, IM, in-person, whatever you’re able to do. Remind yourself that you have important connections to people. They don’t have to be romantic to matter.
  • Do a thing that you love! Rewatch your absolute favorite episode of Stephen Universe, or spin around in circles until you’re dizzy, or make a fort out of every single blanket and pillow in your house. How can you be missing out on anything when you have an epic pillow fort?
  • Pamper yourself. Whether that means dressing up in your fanciest clothes and doing up your hair and face, or throwing on your comfiest bathrobe and pajamas, or taking a two hour bath with bubbles, or going to the gym just to sit in the massage chairs and then leaving (or actually going to the gym and working out, doesn’t work for me but you do you), do something that will make your body feel good.
  • Punch the next person that says you need romance to be happy/complete directly in the face. (Or print out a picture of their face, tape it to a pillow, and punch that. Or daydream about punching them in the face. Please do not actually punch people in the face. It will hurt your hand and you will be sad. Also something about how violence is bad.)

These aren’t always going to work, of course. Maybe none of them will work for you, and you’ll have to find your own ways to make yourself happy. Maybe they’ll work just fine for you but you’ll have to use trial and error to find the right thing for the right day. On days like that, remember that it’s okay not to feel okay. Remember that it’s hard to be positive all the time, but that not feeling positively about something doesn’t make you less worthy of love (whatever love you feel comfortable receiving).

-Noel

Stranger to Boyfriend

Word Count: 3049

Phil’s POV

I clutched my drink tightly with both hands and tried to hide how nervous I was. I hated being surrounded by so many people I didn’t know, and I couldn’t stop feeling like I might be sick despite a friendly stranger making me feel a bit calmer by talking to me. I nodded at him politely every now and then and did my best to actually talk to him, but I was too anxious to manage it well.

“Oh this is Dan by the way,” the friendly stranger said, pointing at, presumably, a friend of his that had popped up next to him.

I glanced his way distractedly and forced my lips into something that could pass for a smile, looking over his shoulder in the hope Peej would miraculously appear behind him to save me from having to talk to more people. They seemed lovely, but I found it a bit too nerve wracking to talk to them without the support of someone I knew. I tended to be better at talking to new people over the internet, which was coincidentally also how I’d befriended Peej.

“Nice to meet you,” Dan said quietly.

I looked at a spot somewhere to his left and responded equally quietly, too uncomfortable to make eye contact.

He said something else but I was too busy trying to keep breathing normally to register what it was, so I just nodded and hoped that would pass for a good answer. My eyes kept darting around looking for Pj and I was holding my drink so tightly I was slightly scared I would break the glass. I wanted to escape so badly but something in me tried to stop me from leaving, telling me to wait for Pj and that it’d be fine then and that I shouldn’t be rude.

I held on for another few minutes until the glass started to slip from my grip constantly, my palms too sweaty for me to hold onto it properly.

“I need to go, I’m sorry,” I whispered, setting my drink down on the nearest table shakily and turning to leave.

“Could I have your number please?”

I registered a phone being thrust in front of me with a new contact screen up, so I tapped my number in with trembling fingers and handed it back before I dropped it. I heard him calling goodbye after me and raised my hand in a wave directed at somewhere behind me, pushing my way through the crowds of people until I reached the front door.

I shouldered my way past the small gaggle of people standing in front of it and yanked it open, rushing outside. My legs gave out before I made it off the front porch and I sat down on a porch step, bringing my knees up to rest my head between them as I gulped in the cool air. Slowly I forgot about the people inside and how terrifying they were to me and focused instead on how good the cold air felt against my clammy skin.

When my heart had slowed down again a little I lifted my head carefully and stayed on the porch step for an extra couple of minutes until I felt I could stand safely again. I pushed to my feet with some difficulty and took my time walking down the path.

Pj had been the one to invite me to this party, so he’d been the one to walk us there and I hadn’t payed any attention to where we’d been going because the possibility of going home without him hadn’t actually occured to me, meaning I now had no idea where I was. I didn’t even know which side we’d approached the house from, so I turned right on a whim and headed to the corner of the street in the hope the road sign would mean something to me.

It didn’t.

The lady from the taxi service company was very understanding about it and patiently suggested the different parts of town I could be in until I recognised one, which was when she sent a taxi and informed me there’d be one there in less than ten minutes. I thanked her and hung up, then leant against the road sign shivering until the taxi arrived.

*****

My text tone chimed loudly from next to me and I groped around in the near dark to find it, wincing when the bright screen blinded me a little. I saw that I had one new message, so I opened it and squinted at my phone until the letters came into focus.

Hope you got home alright ^.^ - Dan x

Who the hell was Dan? Why was he texting me at this unholy hour?

Sorry but who are you?

I turned my phone on silent before he could reply and put it back on my bedside table, facedown so the screen lighting up when he replied wouldn’t wake me again, then rolled over and drifted back off to sleep.

*****

When I finally got out of bed it had passed midday and my stomach was growling angrily at the lack of food since last night, so I went straight to the kitchen and picked up the nearly empty box of cereal, carrying it though to the living room to eat it dry in front of the TV. It had been pretty obvious from the moment I’d woken up that today was destined to be a lazy day, so I spent the following couple of hours playing Mario Kart on the DS whilst watching Babe. I even put the DS down for the final few moments as the farmer told the pig, “That’ll do pig. That’ll do.”

When the film was over and it was officially late afternoon and I’d decided it was probably time to go take a shower and accidentally spent the following hour in there, relaxing more and more until I was sleepy enough to crawl back into bed and sleep until morning. I shut the water off slightly unwillingly and stepped out of the shower and straight into bed, barely taking the time to dry myself off. I was just starting to drift off when I remembered about the text last night from a certain Dan.

I reached an arm over lazily and picked it up clumsily, fumbling with it in the dark to find the home button and feeling a bit surprised to see I had four new messages from him.

We talked really briefly at the party :) x

You didn’t look very well so I was a bit worried :P are you feeling any better now? x

Fuck I just realised what time it is, sorry! Goodnight Phil :) x

Good morning ^.^ x

I couldn’t help but smile a little at this stranger’s messages. I couldn’t even remember his face but he seemed rather sweet, so I tapped out a reply.

Oh right! Yeah I got home fine but a long conversation with the taxi operator was needed to figure out where I was first :P

My finger hovered over the x, and before I could change my mind I pressed it and sent it off. I stared at my phone screen for a couple of minutes, willing him to reply quickly, but when my phone screen stayed dark I sighed and put it down again next to me, screen up so I’d know if he’d replied.

I fell asleep before he texted me back.

*****

I rolled over lazily and groaned into my pillow as my alarm kept blaring. I really didn’t want to go into work today. I let myself lay still for another moment to gather the energy to get up, then forced myself to throw the duvet off me and swing my legs over the side of the bed, turning my alarm off.

Hardest part out of the way, I stood up and got dressed slowly, only barely awake. I straightened my hair equally slowly, running the straighteners over each bit methodically and by the time I was done I was marginally more awake and ready for my morning cup of coffee. My phone got shoved into my pocket and I drank my coffee while making myself a full English breakfast, so I only thought to check my messages when I’d sat down at the breakfast bar and had started on the beans.

For some strange reason my heart started beating a little faster and a grin spread over my face when I saw that he’d replied.

Haha that sounds like something I’d do XD glad you got home ok though ^.^ ugh I don’t want to go back to uni :/ x

He was at uni? Well I felt old suddenly.

Wait how old are you? x

I waited for the reply impatiently, jiggling my leg up and down and eating more of my breakfast. It was left unfinished on the kitchen counter and I rushed out of the house and to the tube, internally cursing my inability to keep track of time over and over as I walked.

Ahem… I’m 19 *blushes* (/.\) how about you? x

So I was four years older than him. Not too bad, but it was still a slight shock to the system.

Awww you’re so little :3 I’m 23 :P x

My phone vibrated under a minute after I’d sent my reply, and I smiled to myself.

Oh shut up! XD so what music do you like? x

*****

Would you like to meet up soon? :3 x

I stared at my phone and took a few shaky breaths, my heart suddenly going crazy. Despite technically not really having met him in real life (I could barely remember the encounter so I didn’t think it counted), I couldn’t deny I liked him. Quite a lot actually. Enough to send my brain into dizzying spins at the prospect of meeting him properly, and definitely enough to make me freeze completely for a while as I stared at the seven simple words.

Definitely :D when would you next be free? x

The reply came through almost instantly.

Well… Tomorrow after uni/work would be good :3 x

Holy crap I could be seeing him tomorrow. I started to panic slightly, my palms slightly sweaty as I imagined all the things that could go horribly wrong. What if that awful nightmare about leaving the house without pants came true? What if in real life we had nothing to talk about? How would Dan react to finding out how awkward I actually was?

I forced all the thoughts out of my mind with great difficulty and made myself take a few deep breaths. It would all be fine. I had been talking to him pretty much non stop for weeks and not once had we run out of conversation topics. We’d even found a way to talk about not having anything to talk about for heaven’s sake, seeing him tomorrow would be great once I got past the initial nerves. If I could avoid doing anything too stupid in the first few minutes that would be nice too, so I sent up a silent prayer to the awkwardness gods asking them to please show me some mercy tomorrow.

Tomorrow sound great to me :3 what do you wanna do? x

We could watch Mockingjay if you haven’t seen that yet? x

HELL YES X

It’s a date :D x

Oh crap. It was a date.

*****

Where are we meeting again? x

I was stood near the M&M shop in Picadilly Circus and was looking around me, eyes scanning the crowd for anyone I recognised. I’d admitted to Dan the day before that I actually couldn’t remember what he looked like and although he’d acted all hurt about it he had given me a description. I was apparently looking for someone with brown hair with a fringe similar to mine but going in the opposite direction and he’d said he was a couple of inches taller than me. He’d also said he usually dressed ‘as depressingly as possible.’

Pretty much exactly where you’re standing ;) x

I looked around me again and hoped he’d show himself, but I could still only see a steady stream of people walking past.

I can’t see you, where are you? :( x

See if you can find me ;) hint: I’m staring right at you x

I tucked my phone away and looked at all of the people standing still instead, dismissing all of the women and the people shorter than me immediately. Most of the remaining people were busy with their phone, and then at last my eyes fell on a slightly distant figure with his hands shoved deep into his pockets.

I took a few hesitant steps closer, and when I saw a fringe sweeping over his forehead I sped up a little until I could see his face. He was looking at me intently, was definitely tall, he had brown hair like Dan had described and his cheeks were tinged slightly red, but this couldn’t possibly be my Dan. He looked too far out of my reach to be my Dan.

“Hey Phil,” he said so quietly I barely heard him.

Ok, so it was the same person I’d been talking to for the past few weeks. Fuck he was hot.

“Hi,” I replied, my voice coming out as a high pitched squeak.

He grinned at me, two dimples appearing out of nowhere, and stepped forwards to hug me tightly.

“Nice to meet you properly,” he whispered into my hair as I wound my arms around his waist.

“Nice to meet you properly too.” I kept hugging him for another minute or so, then pulled back a little to look up at him. “Go to the cinema now?”

He nodded happily and we started walking in the direction of the cinema. He tried a couple of times to start a conversation but we kept getting separated by the hordes of people heading home after work, until eventually he reached out and slipped his hand in mine hesitantly. I kept my gaze down but I curled my fingers around his hand a bit more tightly and allowed myself a small smile so he knew it was fine by me.

Even when we were past the busier area and could avoid being separated easily he didn’t show any inclination to taking his hand back, which sent a little thrill through me. By the time we got to the cinema we were walking so close together that our shoulders were brushing against each other with each step and that I could smell hints of him despite my near frozen nose.

We walked into the cinema and both audibly sighed in relief as the warm air hit us, then laughing a little at the other. As it turned out, he had a really cute laugh too. It was a lot more high pitched than his voice and his eyes crinkled a little bit at the corners and I almost kissed him. Almost.

We got the tickets and a big bucket of popcorn to share, then went through the door to the film and were plunged into near darkness as we tried to find two free seats next to each other in the packed room. Dan found them first, dragging my behind him to the back and squeezing past everyone to the seats near the middle of the row, getting settled with the popcorn bucket very quickly. Half the popcorn was gone before the film ever started playing.

I couldn’t help letting out a little squeal when the lights turned off completely to signal the film was starting and I bounced up and down in my seat a few times excitedly. Dan chuckled and leaned over to wrap an arm around my waist and pulled me against him so I was resting surprisingly comfortably against both the arm rest and him. The perfect position for hiding in his shoulder whenever anything sad or even vaguely scary happened, and each time I did I felt his heart pounding and setting mine off too.

When the film finished we stayed in the cinema room until after everyone had left the room and the credits had stopped rolling, both of us reluctant to leave the position we were in. Eventually the cleaners came in and politely asked us to leave, so I forced myself to get up, though I did take his hand again as compensation.

“That was a good film,” he stated happily as we walked to my bus stop. For some reason he’d insisted on taking me to my bus stop before he went home, claiming that his bus wouldn’t show up for ages anyway. I wasn’t sure I believed that but the selfish part of me wasn’t about to object to getting to spend a bit more time with him.

“It was,” I trilled back in a sing song voice, tugging him to a stop gently when we’d reached my bus stop. “This is me.”

Dan pulled a sad face. “I don’t want you to go yet.”

“I don’t really want to go either, but we can easily arrange to meet up again soon, ok?”

He agreed and we stood in silence for a moment, still holding hands and facing each other until Dan shuffled a little closer. I did the same until our lips were a scant inch apart, and then we were kissing and his hands were going up to my hair as I clung to the front of his jacket and giggled internally at the fact that he still tasted of popcorn.

He pulled away after a few minutes, panting softly, and whispered, “Your bus is here.”

I looked behind me and resisted the urge to tell the bus driver to just go on, instead pressing my lips against his again briefly and getting on the bus.

“Phil?” He called after me. “Do you want to be my boyfriend?”

I laughed and paid for my ticket, then turned back and called back a loud, “Yes, definitely!”

He shot me a thumbs up and a wide grin as the doors closed and the bus pulled away, and I waved back through the window with an equally big smile on my face.

My boyfriend was adorable.

A New Beginning: Haruhito Amano One Shot

I decided to totally rewrite Haruhito’s Daddy fic. The first version I put up is rubbish! So hopefully this is an improvement. I also changed it to a reader insert. Enjoy!

You wake up, opening your eyes slowly, letting them adjust to the sunlight pouring through the window. Feeling lethargic, you reluctantly get out of bed and slip into the comfiest clothes you own.

Before you even make it to the bottom of the stairs, a familiar smell hits you. Haruhito is in the kitchen preparing breakfast. Normally you would find this smell irresistible but not today. The urge to vomit is overwhelming and you run as fast as your legs can carry you to the bathroom.
After brushing your teeth and making yourself a bit more presentable, you exit the bathroom and make your way back to the kitchen.

“Good morning!” Haruhito chirps cheerfully, as you walk in.
“Morning.” you reply listlessly, flopping onto your chair.
Haruhito walks over to you, plate in hand and peers into your face.
“Hey, are you okay? You’re really pale.”
You nod and he places the omelette down in front of you.
Tentatively, you pick up your fork but the first bite never makes it to your mouth. The smell wafts up your nostrils, causing you to retch.
You abruptly stand up and flee from the kitchen.

~*~

“Just rest until I get back, okay?” Haruhito says softly, as he tucks you into bed.
“Okay.”
You hate the thought of lying in bed all day but you just don’t have the energy to argue.
“I’ll be home as soon as I can. But until then Cerby will look after you. Right, Cerby?”
She lets out a bark before jumping onto the empty side of the bed.
“Love you.” Haruhito whispers, pressing a kiss to your forehead.
“Me too.”
As the bedroom door closes, you bury your face into Cerby’s soft, warm fur. Eventually you drift off to sleep.

By the time you surface again, four hours have passed. Still feeling a little groggy, you decide it would be a good idea to get some fresh air. You pick up the shopping list from the worktop and head out to the supermarket.
There’s something very important you have to buy while you are there…

~*~

Cerby’s head moves back and forward as you pace up and down the room.
“How long do these things take, anyway?”, you sigh, getting more impatient by the second.
After what feels like an eternity, you look down at the test in your hand. It’s positive.
“I’m pregnant.” you utter in disbelieve.
You sit down on the sofa, fidgeting nervously as you await Haruhito’s return.

After a while you hear the front door open and Haruhito walks into the living room.
“Why do you look so worried?” he asks, his eyes fixed on your face.
“Actually… There’s something I’ve got to tell you.”
“What is it?”
“I’m… I’m pregnant!” you blurt out.

He stands motionless, his eyes as wide as saucers.
You walk over to him and grab both of his hands.
“Well?”
Without warning he picks you up and spins you round and round.
“That’s fantastic, I can’t believe it!” his happy voice booms throughout the room.
“Haru, stop! You’re making me dizzy.”

He puts you down and turns to face Cerby.
“You hear that?”
She cocks her head to the side.
“We’re having a baby!”
She barks in reply and launches herself towards Haruhito. She stands up on her hind legs, resting her huge paws on his shoulders. It’s as if she’s hugging him.
You erupt into laughter as you watch the pair of them dance around the living room.

~*~

A few months have passed. Your cravings are very persistent, not to mention odd. You sit at the kitchen table tucking into a bowl of ice cream. Vanilla ice cream topped with bacon, sausage and chocolate sauce.
“That looks good.” Haruhito remarks as he strolls into the kitchen.
He sits down beside you, staring at the bowl.
“Can I try some?”
“Are you sure?” you ask, surprised.
He nods and you slide the bowl towards him.
He grins widely as he shovels the strange concoction into his mouth.
“This really is good!”
“You can finish it.” you tell him, having suddenly lost your appetite.


As time goes on, you find it hard to get used to the drastic changes your body is going through. You sigh as you stand in front of the mirror, looking at your swollen belly from all angles.
“What’s wrong?” Haruhito asks, wrapping his arms around you from behind.
“Do you still find me attractive?”
“Of course I do. You’re always beautiful. It just means there’s even more of you to hug.”

Still not convinced, you slump your shoulders as you let out another sigh.
Haruhito moves away from you and starts rooting around in a drawer.
“I was going to give you this later. But it looks like you need cheering up.”
He hands you a small bag. You open it carefully and pull out a tiny cream baby gro decorated with teddy bears.

Big fat tears roll down your cheeks.
“Don’t you like it?”
“No, I love it.” you reply, unable to stop yourself crying.
He pulls you into his chest and gently strokes your hair. Countless tears fall onto his shirt until you finally manage to calm down.

*~*

“See you later.” Haruhito calls, as he leaves to take Cerby on her walk.
You pull yourself up from the sofa and waddle to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee.

A sharp pain courses through your body, the cup falls from your hand and drops onto the tiled floor with a loud smash. You feel a wetness between your legs as you crumple to the floor in agony.

You don’t know how long you’ve been lying there but you are filled with relief when he finally returns.
“Haruhito, the baby’s coming!” you yell.
He dashes into the kitchen. He looks horrified when he sees you in a heap on the floor.
“What do I do? What do I do?!” he squeaks.
“Ambulance… Get me… an ambulance!”

As you are wheeled into the back of the ambulance, you feel tears pricking at the corners of your eyes.
“Haruhito, I’m scared.”
“You’ll be fine.”
He wraps his large hand around your own.
“Don’t let go.”
He gives your hand a reassuring squeeze,
“I won’t, I promise.”

*~*

True to his word, he hasn’t left your side since arriving at the hospital, his hand permanently attached to yours.

The contractions come closer and closer together.
The elderly doctor looks at you with kind eyes,
“You’re ready to push now, Mrs Amano.”
You take a deep breath and push with all your might.

Haruhito takes it upon himself to cheer you on as your labour progresses.
“Push! You can do it!” he chants.
“UGH!”
“Good girl!”
At the end of your tether, you turn your head towards him, looking him in the eyes.
Through gritted teeth you growl,
“Haruhito, if you don’t shut up, so help me I’ll- AAAHHH!”
You hear Haruhito whimper as your grip crushes his fingers.

“That’s it Mrs Amano, you’re doing really well. Just one more big push.”
“No I can’t. I can’t push anymore.” you whine, sweat pouring down your forehead.
“Yes you can.” Haruhito’s voice is full of certainty as he grasps your hand tightly.
With every ounce of energy you have left, you push for the final time.

A shrill cry fills the room.
“You have a son.” the doctor informs you.
“A little boy.” Haruhito murmurs, his eyes brimming with tears.

*~*

“He’s got your nose.” you giggle as the pair of you gaze at your tiny son.
“Yeah, he’s got your eyes though.”
You yawn loudly and Haruhito carefully takes the baby from your arms.
“Get some sleep.”
You slide back down into bed and nestle under the covers.

“I’m so proud of you.” Haruhito whispers, giving you a gentle peck on the lips. His warmth still lingering on your lips, your heavy eyelids close. You fall into a contented slumber, dreaming of all the happy days to come as a family of three.