actually i want to get married to it

so i keep thinking about vampires in skyrim and how laustia would react to the whole idea of vampirism; i like to think that her greed would have grown to such a force that the idea of being immortal and powerful is almost irresistable, as is the idea of being able to forever expand and strengthen her political and social influence over tamriel. also i have a crush on serana even tho i’ve never actually seen her in-game lmfao!!! laustia is bi just like all my characters because who wants to be straight!!!!! i’d bang a dragon if i could. laustia would. she’d also bang a daedric prince if she thought she could get something out of it

anyway she’d still lead the thieves’ guild and still be married to brynjolf, but i like to think that they’d open up into a poly with serana (that, admittedly, would begin in a rather unsavoury and coercive way but actually turn out very well), wherein laustia would turn to vampirism but brynjolf would not, and he’d live out his life with his immortal and powerful wives until passing away peacefully of old age, after which laustia and serana would continue their uhh “reign” i guess with brynjolf’s memory staying with them forever. also laustia upholds the dark brotherhood which would also become strongly influenced by vampirism, though she’d make sure to keep vampires as an institution under strict control. anyway i love this woman she’s evil and super intelligent and now she’s got a hot bf AND gf and i can die happy

anonymous asked:

hi! just curious - your fiancé got you a ring when he proposed and now you want to get him one? or are you looking at wedding bands?

Oh sorry I should of made it more clear.
So we have been together almost 6 years and I am super untraditional so we actually shopped for my engagement ring together. Then he had it for abit before proposing which ended up being a massive suprise which I wasnt expecting because we had talked about getting engaged this year rather then late last year when he did it.

I plan on only having the one ring. I dont want a wedding band. I dont wear a lot of jewlery and just wanted something thin.

He hasnt got a ring at all yet. Im not sure how engagements and stuff work really but we are looking for a wedding band for him for when we get married late 2018/early 2019.

My first anon ask.. Cool :) Feel free guys.

I booked myself in for a massage tomorrow with my physio lady cause my jaw and neck are all locked up from the dentist today and it makes you fill out a little questionnaire to better tell your PT what kind of treatment you need. except when I was filling it in I’d just taken a bunch of pain killers and words were hard but then I logged back in to make sure I’d actually booked it and

Reason for your visit?

What kind(s) of pain are you experiencing?

Special Requests

“Zoe loves the movies. So I knew if I was going to propose, it had to involve the movies. But I can’t make a movie myself because I don’t work in film. So I had to get creative. I ordered a black-and-white Italian film from a vintage film dealer. It seemed vaguely romantic. I spent four months editing it on my computer. I changed all the subtitles. I cut out the harem scene. I completely changed the plot so that it resembled our lives. I wrote some dialogue about picture frames because Zoe’s family owns a frame shop. And I love trains. So I made the main character a train enthusiast. When I finished the editing, I rented out a small theater with sixty seats. I invited all of Zoe’s friends and family. I made sure everyone sat in the front and didn’t turn around. The weather was beautiful that day. Zoe didn’t want to go to a movie. We got in a big fight about it, but I finally convinced her. I was so nervous that I laughed during the whole film. I’d seen all the jokes 1000 times but I laughed at them anyway. Then during the final scene, the main characters started speaking to the audience, and one of them asked: ‘Does anyone here want to get married?’ So I stood up. The lights came on. All her friends and family turned around. And I gave a speech that I prepared. I was so nervous that I forgot to ask the actual question. But Zoe bailed me out and said ‘yes’ anyway.”

ok klance things I want to happen and if they don’t then what’s the point

  • keith catches lance bridal style. lance comments “my hero” sarcastically/playfully. keith drops him.
  • that or they’re both frozen in shock because wtf just happened and when it registers that keith is holding lance they both get really flustered and begin shouting.
  • the “lance dies” thing is actually a pretty serious thing. my guess is that lance would probably jump in front of a sword for keith. that or the enemy would lash out at lance specifically to get keith alone so they could talk or something. obviously not gonna result in death but tell me it wouldn’t be in character for lance to jump in front of a bullet for keith after everything we were given in season three and with their developments being tied together, esp now that Lance is canonically keith’s impulse control and they’re co-leading the team.
  • let lance give his jacket to keith
  • switch bayards in the middle of battle while they are actually formed into their respective weapons and they don’t change. I’d love to see Lance with a sword and Keith with a gun/sniper rifle.
  • if keith runs away because his galra genes are becoming more prominent and he’s afraid that he’ll lead the enemy straight to his team or his team keeps getting hurt because the enemy is after him specifically, I want lance to go after him and bring him back.
  • a hug!! let them hug!!
  • keith playfully elbows lance in the stomach when they’re on an alien planet and oops that’s an intimate act on said alien planet that’s on par with getting married so all the aliens on said planet think they’re married now.
  • garrison flashbacks I wanna know the exact moment that lance saw keith and thought “he is now my rival”
  • lance referencing the bonding moment not realizing he referenced the bonding moment and keith is just >:O “so you DO remember”

I understand the thinking behind the “but asexuality is close to celibacy so shouldn’t the religious communities love you?” argument, but that’s not how it happened for me in the real world.

I’m not out at my church. I know my church is homophobic, so to test the waters for attitudes toward asexuality I waited until the topic of homosexuality came up and suggested hypothetically what if there was a person who didn’t feel sexual attraction. We went around a few times on specifics and once we settled on my original definition, these were the opinions I got:

-Everyone has a sexual nature; it’s God’s gift to the human race for pleasure in marriage and for procreation. The idea of an asexual person is absurd.

-Someone claiming to not feel sexual attraction is repressing the sexual nature given to them by God. It’s as bad as saying God made a mistake when He created you.

-Unless someone is specifically giving up marriage (and therefore sex) for the ministry, and has been so long without it that he’s trained himself not to think about it, there’s nobody that doesn’t want sex.

-People who don’t want sex are being selfish toward their future partners.

-They’ll want sex eventually.

-Maybe they’re just scared.

-Celibacy is a command for us to follow until marriage. Until we marry we are to focus on the things of the Lord. So I see what you’re getting at, but no, nobody just doesn’t have sexual attraction. God built it into everyone for the purpose of procreation.

-I don’t see how this is actually hurting anyone. Maybe God’s called them to be single.

-[shooting down the previous person] But nobody just doesn’t have sexual feelings.

-Being like that is worse than homosexuality. At least a [slur] can be converted back to God. But a person like that would have to have their head so far in the sand they’d never see the light of day. They’d be so self-deluded that they wouldn’t even understand the concept of straight, marital love.

So no, my religious community doesn’t actually love this part of me. There’s one friend I have in the church who knows and supports me, and he keeps his mouth shut.

Anyway, this is just an example of a small-town church’s view on asexuality. I’m sure not all churches are like this, but I’m sure there are too many churches (and mosques and shrines and temples and lodges and synagogues, etc.) that are.

Asexuals, reblog with your own religious experiences?

You know what I really want? Joseph and Mary getting a divorce, but staying friends afterwards. I want Mary coming back to the house for family movie night and actually enjoying it. I want Joseph hiring a babysitter so he can go barhopping with Robert and Mary sometime. I want them to go on a family vacation, but sleep in seperate beds and split the bill at the end. I want them to take the kids out on the yacht, and when they aren’t wrangling the little boogers, talk about how their seperate lives are going.

They obviously enjoyed each other’s company at some point, considering that they got married in the first place, so why couldn’t they be that way again when they aren’t pressured by their relationship?

Inexorable (2)

Plot: How does is feel to be arranged to be married to a cocky, arrogant Mafia leader? Once you look at his face, you think you’re lucky, but then he opens his mouth.

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Angst, (eventual) smut, Mafia au!

Notes: Welp, since so many of you asked for it, here is a part two!! There are two other stories which need a continuation as well, so I might keep requests closed for a while.. Sorry about that. I hope you don’t mind. Feel free to ask me questions, though! Ya’ll are so nice to me! 2,053 Words

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 (FINAL)

The ride to the vacation home wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be. Your husband actually gave you the space you needed. There were brief glares exchanged between the two of you, a whole lot of drinking, and forced slumber – it was a 3 hour ride, after all. 

When the both of you had finally reached, the luggage was taken out by the bodyguards who had come along, and brought to your huge master bedroom. It was twice the size of your father’s office – if not, bigger – the bed was king-sized, and adorned with silk sheets. The walk-in wardrobe was already stacked with clothes for both sexes, making you wonder why you had even brought luggage in the first place.

“Too small, honestly,” Jungkook commented, plopping down on the couch by the fireplace. “My room is bigger than this.”

There he was, ruining the moment again. It was a good thing you were too exhausted to fight with him; but that didn’t mask over the fact that you still wanted to knock him out.

“Brat..” 

Keep reading

I’m not a saint.

So there are some negative vibes on Petblr, y’all.  I wanted to share a story, and encourage everyone else to share too.  This is the story of how I got to where I am now.

Who here considers themselves to be good fish keepers?  I’ve seen you out there, there are a lot of you!  Cool.  Out of you, who had a bowl or tank that was far less than what your pet deserved?  Not all of you, because many of you did the research first, but likely a few of you.  How, when, and why did you change?  I’m hashtagging this as #fish timeline and #pet timeline because I want to see stories of others who have developed and changed.

No graphic or sick fish images ahead, just pictures of betta in inadequate habitats.

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Every time someone brings up David Cage I remember he’s actually met and discussed video games with Hideo Kojima. 

It makes me wonder, since he honestly thinks his games are superior to anything Kojima ever did, how much he resents that gamers and everybody else are on board when Kojima wants to do something insane, how Kojima is nearly universally loved and how he is now getting into Cage’s “turf”: working closely with talented actors (except Kojima actually married all of them)   

10 AUs

1. “We have the same favorite book, and we always check it out from the library. We’ve never met, but the librarians are starting to ship us, and are coming up with ridiculous excuses for us to meet.”

2. “My dog absolutely adores you, and you absolutely adore my dog. Whenever we see each other, the two of you play for a good half-hour, at least. That’s great and all, but what’s your name?”

3. “I was planning on proposing to the person I was dating, but then, I found out they were cheating on me. They don’t know I know, and you suggest I go ahead and go through with it, with a slight twist: I propose to YOU, instead.”

4. “We’re both shopping for the same obscure item. This is the fifth store I’ve seen you at… Want to join forces?”

5. “I’m an actor, and part of my costume is a wedding ring, but I totally forgot I was wearing it. Now you’re yelling at me for flirting with you, and I have no clue how to get a word in edgewise to explain.”

6. “There’s only one bag of my favorite candy left, and you’re about to put it in your cart. Please don’t, seriously. I’ve had an awful week, and I need my candy fix.”

7. “I’ve never actually met the person my sibling is going to marry, but you’re always there at the wedding planning, so I just assumed it was you. But now you’re asking me out? And you’re actually the future spouse’s best friend? Oh, wow, I was not expecting that.”

8. “If you hug me, I will stab you-Oh, my gosh. You aren’t my best friend, you’re a stranger, and you look slightly terrified of me now. Please don’t call the police, I’m not actually going to stab anyone.”

9. “I passed out in a public place, and you sat with me for several hours to make sure no one harassed me? That is both sweet and strange.”

10. “We’re neighbors, and you always hear me screaming about my cooking disasters, and swoop in to save me. I probably should start paying you, honestly.”

I don’t even know. I was taking a walk today and this idea popped into my head. I swear I’m still writing the bookstore AU, too. Also, *pops confetti*, I hit 2k followers today! Who ARE all you guys? Anyway, this fluff/ridiculousness is for you. ~1.6k words, rated G. Sterek, of course.

now also on AO3

The whole thing starts with Stiles really, really craving a meatball sub from the place across the street.

“God, someone shut him up,” Erica groans. They’re all kind of at their breaking point by now; they’ve been camped out in this meeting room all day, brainstorming. “He’s been talking about the same goddamn sandwich for seven and a half minutes now, and it’s making me hungry.”

“If only our ad campaign were about sandwiches, Stilinski would have it in the bag and we could all go home,” Isaac sighs.

From across the table, Derek rises abruptly to his feet and storms out. (Or maybe it’s just that Stiles always interprets everything Derek does as stormy. With those eyebrows, it’s hard not to.)

Stiles assumes he’s just gotten so fed up with them all that it’s either storm out or kill someone, and he’s just grateful Derek chose Door Number 1. It’s a good day not to get killed by Derek Hale.

Only, fifteen minutes later he comes back in. With a paper bag from the deli.

As soon as he gets within grabbing distance, Stiles practically collapses across the table in his haste to reach for it. “Oh my god, is that what I think it is?”

Derek holds it up over his head. “Who says this is for you? Maybe all your talk inspired me to go get a meatball sub of my own.”

“Oh, please. Like anyone with your abs eats meatball subs.” Stiles leaps to his feet on his swivel chair—because screw safety, Derek will catch him if he starts to topple over—and snatches the bag out of Derek’s grip. Derek doesn’t fight him for it very hard.

“Why don’t I get a meatball sub?” Erica whines, thumping her head down on her notebook. “Doesn’t anyone love me?”

Derek shrugs and takes his seat again. “You didn’t ask.”

“You just like Stilinski better,” she grumbles, and Derek just shrugs again.

Meanwhile, Stiles rips into the bag and takes a huge bite out of the gloriousness that is this sandwich. He can’t help throwing in a few theatrical moans just to taunt Erica, and she suitably rewards him with a glare of death across the table.

“Mmm,” Stiles says. “Derek, I love you so much, dude. Marry me.”

Instead of the grumpy eyebrows he expects, Derek meets his eye, leans back smugly in his chair, and says, “Okay.”

Keep reading

The Foxes and College Yearbook Quotes:
  • Andrew Minyard: “Fuck Stickball and fuck Josten”
    • Just to piss Kevin off. Poor Day’s brain fried for a second and he went “Wait, are you changing sport?! What the fuck, Andrew! What is this stickball?! What did they promise you?!” Wymack had to be the one to tell him. 
    • Neil smiled at the quote as if he was looking at a little fluffy kitten; he got his percentage raised for that.
  • Kevin Day: “Be the Queen on your chessboard. Kings never get too far.”
    • The poor kid spent weeks polishing his quote and now Foxes spend most of their times after reading it fake-bowing in front of him.
    • Jean sends him a picture when Renee shows it to him; it’s just his own face with an arched eyebrow. Kevin answers “Fuck you”, but he smiles seeing Jeremy making faces in the background.
  • Neil Josten: “Ohana means family, and family means no one gets abandoned or forgotten - Lilo and Her Weird Alien Dog” 
    • The upperclassmen cried.
    • It took them a week to realize Neil honestly thought the name of the movie was “Lilo and Her Weird Alien Dog” because that’s what Andrew told him.
  • Aaron Minyard: “Two chemists go into a restaurant. The first one says -I think I’ll have an H2O.- The second one says -I think I’ll have an H2O too- and he died.”
    • he actually wanted to write “Fuck you, Andrew” but Katelyn glared at him until he changed it. 
    • Andrew gets it, but refuses to laugh on principle.
  • Nicky Hemmick: “I’m GGG: Getting Gayer and German”.
    • He employed Erik’s help, but the man is a sap and only offered romantic/sentimental quotes, so he had to find something on his own. 
    • He fought the whole editorial department to have his quote in rainbow colors and he won.
  • Danielle Wilds: “I wear steel-ettos to better kick you in the balls.”
    • It may or may not be a reference to a certain Raven and a certain banquets and she may or may not take a picture of the quote “@” him on twitter.
    • Allison, Matt and Nicky all high five her when they read it.
  • Allison Reynolds: “Pretty hurts, steals your money and burns your house.”
    • She fucking loves the Wonder Woman movie, so her other option was “Men are unnecessary for pleasure.
    • But after Raven fans trashed her cars she wanted to make a statement, that she could hit back thrice as hard. 
  • Matt Boyd: “Danielle Wilds, would you make me the honor of taking me as your Proud Trophy Husband?”
    • Yup. He honest to God asked her like that. They had actually talked about it already, stuff like “What if I asked you to get married?”, “Now?!”, “No! More dramatically and stuff, but yeah… Would you say yes?”, “Make it more dramatic than Aaron and Katelyn and we have a deal.”
    • He brought Dan the yearbook and then knelt when she was distracted reading so when she lifted her eyes there he was, with a ring and blushing to the roots of his hair. Nicky filmed everything.
  • Renee Walker: “To be kind and to be helpless are two different matters.”
    • Nicky finds it adorable, while Neil and Andrew read it for the threat it is and their smiles are creepy and dark for a moment there. Allison looks proud.
    • Jean retweets the picture of the quote and adds “@Alvarez, this is why you don’t fight her”. It’s the first tweet ever in which he “@”s someone and the Trojans are so proud they collectively send Renee flowers.

How to spot a POT when you’re out

While I was sugaring I spent most of my time freestyling. After a couple of months I became a pro freestyler to the point that I started getting regular dudes to by me things.

So to help out any ladies who are moving over to the freestyle world I would like to give you some of the ways i would spot POTs while out. I’ll even talk about how I get vanilla men to buy me what I want.

Do remember that this isn’t a 100% successful all the time. You will make mistakes and you will find some bad POT even with this list but don’t let it discourage you.

Let’s start with something simple…

Where are you seeing him

If you see a man while you’re at a Gala, fundraiser, nice restaurant, or a private event he’s probably a sure thing. But if you see him at burger king, the local mall, or at a public event either walk away or enter with caution.

I met my last couple of SDs at some private events I got invited to. They turned out to be the sponsors of the event so I knew they were the kind of men to give money and give they did. My next sign is…

His business card

Not only is this giving you the info you need to screen him but the quality of it tells you the quality of the business.

I’ve done graphic designing before and let me tell you it’s not cheap to print a nice business card. If it’s thick, with raised letters, info on the back, and has gold on it than it cost a good amount of money.


Another thing to look for is his job title because not all are the same and all of them don’t have to be CEO titles. I personally like Founders and Co-founder but I’ve had a couple very giving Executive directors too so you never know.

Let’s move on to some basic signs…

How is he dressed?

I know this is broad so I’ll break it down.

Does his suit fit?

Men who have high paying jobs always have to look their best which means 9 times out of 10 they re wearing a suit. But because many men are trying to fake it till they make it, you have to make sure the suit fits literally.

If his suit is slipping off the shoulder, to long in the arms, a little big on him or worse wrinkled then pass. You want to spot a tailored man; trust me even if it’s off the rack a wealthy man will get it tailored.

Just look at this SwagUp

Is the material good quality?

We’re all women who love buying high quality outfits, so I know you all know what good material feels and looks like. I’ve found myself shopping for SDs just to know what certain suits and clothing felt and looked like.

Good quality suits are based on thread counts kind of like bed sheets. The higher the count the softer and more silk like it feels which means the more it costed. My favorite high end shop for men is Brooks Brothers hands down but if you want to see some great examples of high quality mens clothes go to blacklapel.com

Does he have nice shoes

This a pretty obvious one especially if you know what real leather looks like. But seeing that a lot of millionaires now are tech heads, and weed growers I urge you all to know what the latest sneaker wear is excluding Jordans. Any man can own some Jordans but not all men can buy one of Gary V’s new Kswiss shoe line before it’s on the market.

This also goes for clothes too. Be sure to know what a good quality shirt and jeans looks like for wealthy men. I’ve seen many tech CEOs go to private events with jeans and blazer that cost just as much as a tailored suit.

Is his watch expensive?

We all know most guys are rocking a Rolex but that’s not the only watch that’s expensive. Many men I dealt with wore mainly Cartier, Bvlgari, Hublot, and Patek Philippe watches (as well as other accesories). These brands come in different styles but they all cost a lot of money some are in the millions.

As I mentioned with the clothes styles there are changes in style due to the type of men who are making millions now. So don’t get turned of by rubber bands and smart watches because they can cost just as much. Look up the Tag Heuer watches they are a high quality smart watch and you can tell them apart from others.

Does he have simple but expensive frames?

Not many women think about frames but as a person who love buying new sunglasses every summer I’ve started to learn my frame brands. When I go to these presentations and notice a man with fancy glasses I always make it a point to tell him I like his (insert brand) glasses. This has always equalled me getting a business card.

So for those who don’t know, look for frames by Catier, Lindberg, Karen Walker, and Tom Ford. Of course there are many designer options for glasses you can easily recognize but if you know the ones that no one else picks up on it can be a great ice breaker.

How he grooms himself

A wealthy man isn’t necessarily a healthy man but he’s always we’ll groomed. They upkeep themselves at all times and keep all their grooming appointments. Of course there are men who aren’t always clean cut but they’re still groomed.

Their hair is always styled, yes even in if they’re in dreadlocks, their nails are usually cut and filed, his bread line will be lined up, and his skin will more than likely be soft. Some men have softer hair than I do sometimes because their products are way better.

Originally posted by gurl

My old SD would by bulks of moisturizing soaps, and lotion to keep his skin from drying out. His hands were so soft that it put my hands to shame. Of course you can’t see that from across the room but whenever a man introduces himself he will shake your hand and you will get to feel. Please exclude having soft hands if you find out his job is more outdoors but even they can have soft hands too.

How he approaches you

How a man approaches you can show you where you have an advantage or disadvantage.

Slow = Time saver , Fast = Time Waster

Now from what I’ve observed whenever a man is really quick to come over and give me his number he’s usually also very quick to do everything else. Men like that usually don’t want long term arrangements so I don’t really waste my time with them.

Now a man that comes to you, ask you questions, and arranges a meet up while giving you his number is more likely to be a SD. Intentions are always shown in snippets starting from the day he meets you to the third date which is my arrangement time limit so watch for signs like this speed example.

I had one guy walk pass me like this and I melted in my seat

Originally posted by exist-in-mind

Talks about himself = Be a listener

Ask lots of questions = Be mysterious

If you meet a man and he’s talking about his work and his accomplishments a lot, one of three things are happening.

  1. He’s trying to show off and you can get lots of gifts from him.
  2. He’s trying to impress you and you can start equating his impressiveness with how much attention you give him.
  3. He just wants someone to talk to and he might be willing to pay you to be a sympathetic and intimate listener.

Now if the tables are turned and he wants to you to talk more leave some mystery with the answers you give. If he ask you where you live you can say “ This is my hometown but I’ve lived in many cities after I was done with school.” Giving broad answers like that will not only help keep your identity safe but it will leave you with more stuff talk about at later dates.

Mystery will always have your POT wanting more which means more dates which equals more money.

Interaction with others

The one thing I have to say about this is watch how he treats people who serve him because that shows how he could or/will treat you. You are providing him a service and if he doesn’t respect that at a small scale he won’t respect it at a big scale either.

Last but not least my last sign for spotting POTs is…

Is he approaching you with a ring on?

Most married men who are trying to entertain me are looking for some kind of escape or excitement. So when I hear them complimenting me, sharing stories, and looking me up and down I know I have a POT. Now if he’s good or bad is seen by the previous signs but more than likely he wants to pay for your time.

As many might know married men pay more due to them having more to lose but they also have less time to give (unless legally separated). So if you don’t mind a ring get your flirt on and make your money.

Originally posted by imaginepace

Vanilla men

How I get regular men to buy me things is actually very simple but you have to pick the right man.

You know those guys you see that try to stunt about how successful they are and the guys you see faking it till they make it. Thats the kind of guy you’re looking for.

So you want to go to places they go to make this work (ex. Club VIP, Networking events, Artsy events, etc.).

Before I go out to these events I do the following things:

  • Do my best natural face makeup look
  • Wear somethings that shows all my curves
  • Wear comfy statement heels (yes, they do exist)
  • Wear my hair down
  • And put all the good smells on.

Once presentable I will go out to these event and flirt it up. Once I get my first drink from a man I start to ask for something a little more expensive and if he gets it I’ll have officially started the cycle of giving.

On our first date I always pick the place and “introduce him” to something new. I usually pick a place I go to treat myself anyway just in case he’s not as giving and tries to split the check. But if he’s gets through three dates like this with a gift (that I ask for) at the third I know I can get him to keep giving to me.

I had guys buying me stuff like drake did Nicki lol

Originally posted by hellaa-pink

This is how I do it but I’ve heard and seen different methods so if you have any please share.


I hope this was all helpful and look forward to my next post.

Much Love T

ok so i was gonna fic this but it’s been sitting in my drafts half-written for months, so take this bullet point fic instead:

  • the foxes try to have a reunion of sorts every year or so
  • they don’t always make it but everyone puts in some type of effort to come
  • they all get together for real after the US Court announcements go out bc goddamn we need to celebrate this right??
  • everyone is just catching up, sharing news
  • dan and matt are married
  • nicky and eric are married
  • aaron and katelyn are married and expecting a kid
  • dan starts joking around bc ‘looks like everyone’s married except neil and andrew’
  • except it’s not really a joke bc to be honest, no one is quite sure if they are still, in fact dating. bc no paparazzi has caught them together yet which is like. unheard of in the exy world. if two professional players are fucking everyone knows like, instantly
  • and it’s been literally years
  • so there’s no way theyre still dating right?
  • (only Renee knows the truth bc they needed a witness)
  • (she’s the only one who gets a christmas card from them
    • (it’s a phone picture of andrew holding Sir and neil holding King. the cats are trying to escape. no one is smiling. it’s the background on her phone.)
  • anyway, neil when dan says that neil gets a Look in his eye
  • “hey andrew” he says. 
  • “what”
  • “want to get married?”
  • “nah”
  • everyone else: wait, you’re actually still dating?
  • neil internally: oh now we can Really fuck with them now
  • neil externally: no we’re not dating. haven’t been for years
  • nicky freaks out bc “I KNEW IT, IT WAS HATE SEX EVERYONE HERE OWES ME $200″
  • things calm down eventually and the topic moves on
  • that’s when neil goes in for the kill
  • “andrew, sweetheart, get me a beer?”
  • andrew, who knows exactly what’s going on: “sure thing babe” and kisses him on the way out
  • it’s mass chaos
  • as the rest of the foxes are screaming, nicky manages to say “wait you said you weren’t dating!”
  • “we aren’t”
  • andrew returns, handing neil his beer and planting a kiss on his head
  • “we’re married”
  • fin
  • epilogue: rip in peace to nicky who had to give back all that money and live on forever Renee who took all that money + $700 more

BEST FICS OF 2017 picked by notchopsuey
manips | other recs | rec page

#1. Runaway Land. 103k.
Louis is sure he’s stumbled upon a secret, underground nightclub, though that is far from the truth. He’s also pretty sure he’s stumbled upon Apollo, which… isn’t very far from the truth, actually.
Modern Greek mythology AU.

#2. You Might Want to Marry My Husband. 24k.
When Harry’s husband dies, he asks one thing of him; to find love and happiness again without him. It’s a request that Harry is happy to disregard, until he meets the one person who is impossible to ignore.

#3. Love’s Truest Language. 48k.
The first part was meant as a joke. He didn’t really expect Harry to buy anything. It was just Louis’ way of softening the ‘get the fuck out’ blow.
“Where’s your order forms, then?”
“I don’t want your flowers.” Louis chided before directing all of his attention to the arrangement in front of him.
Harry laughed under his breath as he stood to his full height, “Who said anything about them being for you, love?”

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“Don’t marry him.” {One Shot}

|Pairing| {Min Yoongi 𝕩 Reader}

|Genre| {Slight Angst}

|Word Count| {2,402}


“결혼하지…마라”

Originally posted by bangtanboysbutterfly

I was looking forward to seeing her. She comes to most of the fan signs, and every time I see her I can’t help but smile because every time I see her, she tells me I’ve made her day; I made her smile. She asks me how I’m doing, if everything’s going well and the way that I want it to. She cares about me and the members, she doesn’t just come to get her albums signed; she comes to see us, or she tells me that she comes to see me, because I - Min Yoongi is her bias. She comes to give us gifts, to thank us for changing her life and tell her what she thinks about new music, new shows we’ve been on, music award shows and our achievements. I see her every so often, but somewhere down the line in the four years she’s supported us. I think I fell in love with her.

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Limerence (M)

Anon asked:

“Hii gurl I have an idea for a Suga fluff or smut depends on how you feel like making it and I don’t know if you’ve ever made anything similar but could you do one where Yoongi’s y/n’s (who’s quite younger) brother’s friend and things happen between them, please? :3″

“Limerence; the state of being infatuated with another person”. I decided to make it slightly angsty (whoops) I guess that just makes the sex better. I didn’t get the part about being younger– I’m guessing it’s the reader that is younger, so…. Yeah.. I made the age difference 9 years (another whoops). I hope you like it, anon! 3.2k Words

Pairing: Pure-blood!Min Yoongi x Half-blood!Reader

Genre: Ancient Korea au!, smut, angst

Warnings: Cheating, moaning denial, fingering, Taking the Agust D

P.S. I made the reader/oc half-blood noble, so it’s not just the Korean people. ;)) I want it to be internationally compatible.

Originally posted by seokjins-wings

The day that you were born was probably one of the most joyful days for your father and 8-year-old brother, maybe not for your step mother – considering he had sex with a concubine to have you. You were the first half-blood of the family, and even though your father loved you dearly, there was still a small difference in the way he treated you. 

Whilst your brother was out learning archery and literature, you were sat at home, learning how to look like you were radiant enough for being part of the nobility. Unfortunately, you were not exactly fit for the beauty standards, so you had to try harder to look appealing to outsiders. You weren’t ugly – you were just not traditionally beautiful. 

You had an exotic type of beauty. 

That was one of the first things a 25-year-old Min Yoongi noticed about you when you both first met.

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