actually i think it's just the bangs that i'm not happy with anymore

anonymous asked:

Hi! Could I request a nsfw scenario where Bakugou and his gf fight and Bakugou says something very mean to her and she storms out, but later she goes to her dorm and they make up? Ohh!! And BTW! I'm so happy that I found your blog, I love it so much! You're so good!

Admin Speaks: Glad you found me too! Always happy to have new kids to care about followers!


Sitting in his dorm room you could feel the tension. He had something to say, that was clear enough by the way he kept glaring at you and growling incoherent words under his breath. You could feel his eyes burning into the back of your uniform as you tried to focus on your schoolwork and couldn’t take it any more. “Bakugou, do you have something you want to say?” You turn towards him and he growls out a no before turning back to his schoolwork. Sighing, you turn back around to continue working.

The awkward silence filling the room was unnatural. Usually he would be boasting about how great he is and how he will become number one hero, but today it was silent. “Bakugou, I want to know what your thinking.” you state and turn back towards him again. “Fuck off.” he flicked an eraser at you before turning around again. You huffed and activated your quirk, slowly pulling his chair towards where you were sitting on the bed. “For fucks sake (Y/n) stop using your shitty quirk and get your school shit done!” he raged and stood up from the chair, tipping it backwards as it fell to the floor. “Shitty quirk?” you whispered to yourself, hurt from his choice of words. “Yes! That shitty useless quirk on yours! All you can do is pull and push objects to you! Do you know how fucking lame that is?! Shitty Deku’s mom has the same fucking quirk! I don’t even know how you think you’ll become a hero with that stupid ass quirk!” he seethed at you and watched your face as your eyes slowly began to water. You bit your bottom lip, trying to compose yourself and failing. You stood up and wiped your eyes, “Well at least I don’t destroy everything I touch.” you shot back at him before walking out of his dorm room.

You couldn’t be here any longer. Not in his dorm, not in your dorm, you had to get out. You wandered out of the dorm building and started walking around campus, tears still leaking down your face, trying to wipe them away as they trailed downwards to the ground. “Stupid Bakugou. H-He doesn’t know what he’s talking about. My quirk isn’t useless. The more I use it the heavier the objects I can bring or push away. Just because it isn’t flashy or obnoxious doesn’t mean its bad.” you slid down the side of the building and curled up with your knees to your chest. “H-He didn’t mean it.” you curled into yourself tighter, gripping your legs with your hands rather harshly and nearly tearing your socks. “S-Sometimes he says stupid things. He n-never means them.” you hiccuped out and gave up trying to wipe away your tears.

You pushed yourself up off of the ground, still leaning against the building behind you. You stayed slouched against it, trying to control your breathing until you sounded almost okay. You nodded a little to yourself and pushed off the wall, walking quickly across the grounds and back into the dormitory. You avoided all invites to join others, politely declining as you walked to get to the elevator. You hit the button to take you up to your dorm, hearing the ding as the doors opened. You stepped inside when you heard your name being called. You turned to the voice and hit the button to close the door, hoping it would close before he reached you. “I’ve been looking for you! At least fucking talk to me! I didn’t-” the doors closed and you were on the way to your dorm.

“DAMN IT!”  Bakugou punched the door of the elevator. He shouldn’t have insulted you. He should have run faster to get to you. You had been crying, he could tell. You always wore a pleasant smile and a calm tone of voice but if anyone actually looked closely at you anyone could tell your eyes were puffy from crying. He had fucked up. He knew he had. He needed to talk to you. But you had made is pretty clear you didn’t want to talk right now. He hit his head slightly on the elevator door before hitting the button. The door opened and his fingers hovered over your floor number. He sucked in a breath and hit his floor before he did something else stupid

You had collapsed onto your bed, not crying anymore, when you got to your dorm. You blankly stared at the ceiling, wondering if you could pull it closer to you or not. You shook the idea from your head, knowing that the room above you would fall through if you tried that. You rolled onto your side and saw a picture on your desk. You were smiling in the photo and Bakugou had an arrogant smirk that only he could pull off. You were smiling at the camera, but his eyes were on you. His arm slung around your shoulder, pulling you closer to him in a comforting embrace. You gulped, willing your tears away as you used you quirk to tip it down facing the desk and out of your line of sight.

You buried yourself in your blankets, deciding the best way to get rid of the empty feeling in the pit of your stomach was to sleep. Then you heard a loud bang on your door. “(Y/n) open this fucking door!” You let out a whine, “No.” “(Y/n) if you don’t open it I’m breaking the damn door down myself.” “Go ahead.” you called weakly to him. It wasn’t long until you heard a forced ticking and the door flew open. “You need a new lock.” he grumbled and closed the door behind him. “I don’t want to talk to you.” you whispered under your blankets, still not looking at him. “Then don’t talk and just listen.” you felt the mattress dip down as he sat down on the edge of it. “Look, I said some shitty things to you earlier. And I didn’t fucking mean any of it.” He turned his head to look at you to see if you had moved from your blanket cocoon. “I just got worried today. You’re quirk is getting stronger. Hell! I remember when we were kids and you could barely pull a pencil to you and now you’re moving slabs of fucking concrete! You’re quirk isn’t useless I’m just…..scared. Scared you’ll get hurt one day and I won’t be able to do a fucking thing about it.” He checked again, the cocoon still unmoving. He furrowed his brows and reached out, pulling the cocoon down and grabbing your cheeks before you could take cover again, “I really fucking love you (Y/n). I didn’t mean what I said earlier! Now can you please either tell me to get the fuck out or let me stay?!” he stared intensely into your eyes, waiting for you to eject him out of your room. “Even if I threw you out, my lock is broken.” you smile weakly and pull him towards you with your quirk

He had never wrapped you in a hug so quickly. “Let me stay here tonight… Please.” he grumbled into your hair and you nodded slightly, wanting to accept his full apology but still slightly hurt. “I fucking love you (Y/n). I’m so fucking stupid to say those awful things to you. Next time just fucking punch me. I was… Afraid…. When I couldn’t find you. I don’t want you to leave me.” He hadn’t let go of you and grumbled all of this into your skin, pulling your body closer to his and pressing kisses to it every now and then. “I’m so fucking sorry.” he squeezed you one last time and you nodded once, “I forgive you Bakugou.” you pulled back a little to see his face and kissed him. His lips lingering on yours as he poured his apology into you, no words were needed. Silence took over, a comfortable one. The kind of silence that two hearts have a conversation in, no words needed.

Keep reading

Mordecai's Love Life Abridged - The Thrilling Saga [UPDATED]
  • Mordecai: *sees Margaret*
  • Mordecai: HOLY S HTI I C ANNOT BREA THE SHE SMOKIN HOT
  • Rigby: Go ask her out! She seems nice...
  • Mordecai: lol wut
  • Rigby: Go ask lady pecs out
  • Mordecai: You kiddin me, I ain't doin that shit
  • Rigby: UGHHHGHGHGHGGHGHGH
  • *five episodes later*
  • Mordecai: Alright, imma do it. I'm gonna do it
  • Margaret: Hey dude wassup?
  • Mordecai: Do you wanna... fuck.
  • Margaret: WHAT?!
  • Mordecai: Nevermind NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE *runs back to Rigby*
  • Rigby: Dude!
  • Mordecai: I tried man, I really did try
  • *he eventually makes up with Margaret and hangs around with her for four seasons not getting anywhere*
  • Mordecai: I'm gonna kiss that hot piece of shit
  • Rigby: Oh lord...
  • Mordecai: it'll be easy!
  • Rigby: DO IT OR YOU'LL HAVE TO WEAR A DIAPER
  • Mordecai: wtf
  • Rigby: DO IT FOR THE VINE
  • Mordecai: Ughhhhhhhhhhh
  • Margaret: What's this shit I'm hearing about a bet?
  • Mordecai: No.
  • Margaret: FUCK YOU MORDECAI. FUCK YOU. *runs off*
  • Mordecai: Noooooooooooooooo!!!!
  • Margaret: Oh you want me to save your sorry little ass from freezing to death? Tell me how you REALLY feel about me.
  • Mordecai: OKAY FINE I LIKE YOU, OKAY?
  • Margaret: *nearly kisses him*
  • Margaret: Fuck you you piece of shit
  • *a few episodes later*
  • Eileen: HORY SHIT GUYS A FUCKIN METEOR SHOWER IS GONNA HIT THIS TOWN WITH A BANG *inside her head* hello Rigby you rabie-filled hottie.
  • Mordecai: Cool! I'll be there.
  • Rigby: ACTUALLY DO IT THIS TIME YOU WUSS.
  • *meteor shower hits*
  • Mordecai: Uhhhhhhhhhhh
  • Rigby: DO IT.
  • Mordecai: Stahp im emotionally unstable
  • Old potato guy: Bruh
  • Mordecai: Ughhhhh. Yo Margaret you wanna kiss?
  • *makes out*
  • Margaret: That was a great meteor shower (what the fuck just happened)
  • *dates for awhile*
  • Mordecai: Yo Margaret
  • Margaret: Goin' to college! Fuck you.
  • *loud emotional crying from Mordecai*
  • CJ: Hey Mordecai, I'm a cool ass cloud that puts up with zero shit, have all the same interests as you, and I kill people. You wanna date?
  • Mordecai: gee, I don't know, you're pretty cool, but-
  • Rigby: DO NOT.
  • Mordecai: Fine.
  • CJ: sick
  • *hangs out for awhile*
  • Eileen: GO ON A FUCKIN DATE ALREADY
  • Mordecai and CJ: wut
  • Eileen: DO IT.
  • Mordecai: Fine, u down fo dis CJ?
  • CJ: sure
  • *date than ends with drama and Mordecai and CJ becoming canon*
  • Mordecai: I luv this cloud
  • Rigby: STAHP
  • Mordecai: What?!
  • Rigby: SPEND MORE TIME WIT ME
  • Mordecai: ... bruh
  • Rigby: UGHHHHHHHHHHHHH
  • *a few months later*
  • Margaret: Surprise bitch
  • Mordecai: THE FUCK
  • Margaret: I bet you thought you'd seen the last of me
  • Mordecai: No. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
  • CJ: Hey Morde-
  • Mordecai: Shut the fuck up
  • CJ: What?
  • Margaret: Hey CJ!
  • CJ: Hi, I'm Mordo's bitch now
  • Margaret: WAT
  • Mordecai: I, ummmm
  • Margaret: No, it's cool! You need to be happy!
  • Mordecai: thx
  • *hug*
  • Mordecai: I AIN'T LETTIN GO OF YOU
  • Margaret: ME EITHER
  • *makes out*
  • CJ: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK
  • Mordecai: well shit
  • Margaret: oh...
  • *runs out crying*
  • Mordecai: NO PLZ FORGIVE ME
  • Eileen: Dis bitch is now my roommate. fuck you.
  • Margaret: you done fucked up Mordecai
  • Mordecai: ...
  • Mordecai: i fucked up. fuck
  • *the next day*
  • Mordecai: what up cj
  • CJ: why the did you invite me to this shithole of a coffee shop
  • Mordecai: idk what happened
  • CJ: Bitch plz
  • Mordecai: Here's a bunch of butt-shaped gifts
  • CJ: OH MY GOD I FORGIVE YOU I FUCKIN LOVE BUTTS
  • Margaret: IM GOIN TO CALL MORDY AT THE WRONG FUCKING TIME. YO MORDY
  • CJ: who the fuck is this bitch
  • Mordecai: The bitch I kissed
  • CJ: FUCK YOU ASSHOLE.
  • *more sad music*
  • Mordecai: fuck you margaret... fuck you...
  • Sad Sax Guy: IF YOU HAVIN GURL PROBLEMS I FELL BAD FO YOU SON I GOT 99 PROBLEMS BUT A BITCH AINT ONE
  • Mordecai: shut up and help me cj fuckin hates my guts
  • Sad Sax Guy: Get the bitch you kissed here
  • Mordecai: Fine
  • *at the park*
  • Mordecai: Wut up bitch
  • Margaret: I don't want to get involved even though I should have stopped you from kissing me but I went along with it anyway, so fuck you.
  • Mordecai: You're a good friend
  • *hugs*
  • CJ: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME
  • Mordecai: goddammit...
  • Sad Sax Guy: Lol just put up a bunch of cheap-ass performances fo her
  • Mordecai: thanks lmao
  • CJ: is this a fuckin joke
  • Mordecai: Yo up Cee- *gets hit by bus*
  • CJ: JESUS CHRIST ARE YOU OKAY
  • Mordecai: Yeah, thing is.... are you?
  • CJ: Feelin' great *slaps him on head with board* bye asshole
  • Rigby: Are you insane?!
  • Mordecai: lol wut
  • Rigby: STAHP LISTENING TO A WEIRD SHIRTLESS GUY WHO PLAYS THE SAXOPHONE FOR SOME WEIRD REASON
  • Mordecai: Ugh.
  • Sad Sax Guy: Go to your older bitch's house
  • Mordecai: You mean my mom's?
  • Sad Sax Guy: ...
  • *goes to mom's house*
  • Mordecai's Mom: You done fucked up Mordecai
  • Mordecai: I KNOW. HELP ME.
  • Mordecai's Mom: Sway her in.
  • Mordecai: Fine.
  • *goes outside*
  • Mordecai: Rigby, tell dis bitch to look outside
  • Rigby: Look outside
  • CJ: Awwwwwww...
  • *at hospital*
  • CJ: Why the fuck did you kiss that bitch
  • Mordecai: I HAD FEELZ FOR MARGARET AND SEEING HER BROUGHT DOS FEELZ BACK I'M SORRY PLEASE TAKE ME BACK IT WAS MY FAULT.
  • CJ: Fine.
  • *makes out*
  • Sad Sax Guy: Happy holidays, asshole.
  • *a month later*
  • Eileen: YOU GUYZ WANNA SEE SOME FUCKIN SEA TURTS
  • CJ, Mordecai, and Rigby: sure
  • Eileen: YO MARGARET YOU WANNA SEE
  • CJ: no
  • Eileen: wat
  • CJ: NO.
  • Eileen: Oh. Right.
  • *in the car*
  • CJ: you had to kiss dat bitch didnt u mordecai
  • Mordecai: I HAD FEELZ FOR HER I'M SORRY FO DA LAST TIME.
  • *drama with spa shit happens*
  • CJ: Goddammit.
  • *calls Margaret*
  • Margaret: YOOOOOOO CHECK OUT THESE ASSHOLES USIN' TURTLES FO THEIR SPA SHIT, HOW DA FUCK DO YOU FEEL ABOUT ANIMAL CRUELTY?
  • *a bunch of shit goes down*
  • Eileen: THX MARGARET FO SAVING OUR ASS
  • CJ: I called her u know...
  • Eileen: CJ AWWWWWWWWWW
  • *group hug with margaret*
  • CJ: bitch what the fuck do u think you're doing
  • Margaret: #awkward
  • Eileen: SHUT UP AND HUG ME
  • CJ: i came to have a good time and im honestly feeling so attacked right now
  • *a month later*
  • Mordecai: HOLY SHIT A PARTY IS GOIN DOWN AT DAT OTHER BITCH'S HOUSE. YO C-
  • CJ: lol no i'd rather pick up garbage than do that
  • Rigby: Oh right, because-
  • Mordecai: Shut the fuck up Rigby. Look, I'll get u some of dat cake cause u a bae.
  • CJ: THANK YOU MORDECAI *hugs*
  • Mordecai: *sees Margaret*
  • Mordecai: NOPE *runs into bathroom*
  • Rigby: dude... what the fuck...
  • Mordecai: I AIN'T FUCKIN ANYTHING UP IN HERE
  • Rigby: bruh...
  • Mordecai: Fine...
  • Margaret's Dad: YO DIAPER BOY I GOT A SEAT IN THE HELI FO YA YOU WANNA RIDE WIT DA FAM?
  • Mordecai: shit
  • *goes onto helicopter*
  • Margaret: How's the park? :)
  • Mordecai: FUCK HER RIGHT IN DA PUSSY
  • Margaret: stahp acting weird oh my god...
  • Mordecai: I HAVE TO U DON'T UNDERSTAND
  • CJ: lol so some bitch got burned by a river and... what the fuck is my bitch doing with that bitch...
  • Mordecai: oh no. don't.
  • CJ: GOD FUCKING DAMMIT MORDECAI I AM DONE TRUSTING YOU YOU PIECE OF GODDAMN BIRD SHIT YOU CAN GO SUCK ON MARGARET'S EGGS FOR ALL I CARE *rages*
  • Mordecai: NO STAHP I'VE BEEN TELLIN YOU A HUNDRED FUCKIN TIMES I AM NOT WIT THIS BITCH ANYMORE
  • CJ: LIAR
  • *almost kills Margaret's parents*
  • Margaret: MOMMMMMMMMMMMM DADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
  • Margaret's parents: well fuck u wanna do a mannonball into the pool
  • *lands*
  • CJ: RAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWR *knocks Margaret off helicopter*
  • Margaret: I HAVE A BAE LITERALLY CALM THE FUCK DOWN CJ
  • Mordecai: lol wut
  • Margaret's dad: lol wut
  • CJ: lol wut
  • Margaret's Boyfriend: lol hi guyz wut up
  • Margaret: SO SHUT THE FUCK UP THEN
  • Mordecai: thank god *lands helicopter*
  • CJ: *cries*
  • Mordecai: yo bitch i got u cake
  • CJ: you might as well take that cake and shove it up my ass mordecai
  • Mordecai: lol ok
  • CJ: IT's A FIGURE OF SPEECH YOU MORON
  • Mordecai: oh
  • CJ: I FUCKED UP. I ALMOST KILLED DIS BITCH'S PARENTS-
  • Margaret: will u please stop referring to me as "bitch"
  • CJ: ANNNNNNYWAAAAYYYS I ALMOST KILLED THEM ALL OVER NOTHING
  • Mordecai: yeah u did that....
  • CJ: I HAVE TO LEAVE I'M HAVING FEELZ
  • *CJ runs off as "You Give Love a Bad Name" by Bon Jovi plays in the background*
  • *a few months later*
  • Margaret: zzzzzzzzz HOLY FUCK oh my god *shoves head on couch* EILEEN GET YOUR MOLE ASS IN HERE
  • Eileen: oh god not this shit again
  • Margaret: I don't actually have a bae! I made the whole thing up so CJ wouldn't kick my ass! WHAT DO I DO
  • Eileen: Tell the truth?
  • Margaret: bitch pls
  • *knocking on door*
  • Eileen: you know that bitch that almost killed your parents? well, she's here
  • Margaret: OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE *opens the door*
  • CJ: Hey, Margaret! :3
  • Margaret: Hey, uh, CJ...
  • CJ: Look I'm sorry for pretty much the whole time that I've known you with killing your parents, destruction and all that other shit, but can we get to know each other a little bit? You can bring your bae if you want!
  • Margaret: KEWL
  • CJ: Awesome! *leaves*
  • Margaret: OH MY FUCKING GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE
  • Eileen: Get Del here
  • Margaret: YO DEL CAN YOU PRETEND TO BE MY SUGAR DADDY FOR THE DAY
  • Del: lol sure
  • Margaret: RIGBY COME UP WITH A SCRIPT
  • Rigby: k
  • Del: *literally fucks everything up*
  • CJ: he cool
  • Margaret: ikr
  • Del: how you guys doing (ohhhhh dis is da best ass ive felt all my life)
  • Margaret: good I guess (get your fucking meat sticks off my ass)
  • Margaret: YOU'RE FUCKING EVERYTHING UP
  • Del: i know
  • Margaret: RIGBY DEL IS-
  • Rigby: fuck u bitch *hangs up*
  • Mordecai: i like del. hes pretty cool
  • Margaret: lol yeah
  • Mordecai: :>
  • Margaret: (oh my god mordecai's adorable as shit) DEL IS NOT ACTUALLY-
  • Bar: LOL HERE COMES A FUCKIN KISS CAM TO LITERALLY FUCK EVERYTHING UP. AND NOW LET'S "COINCIDENTALLY" POINT IT TOWARDS MARGARET AND DEL TROLOLOLOLOLOLOL
  • Margaret: oh god i have to kiss this ass pincher
  • Del: come on gimme a kiss
  • Margaret: NO GO FUCK YOURSELF
  • Audience: shit
  • CJ: im sorry what the fuck did you just say
  • Margaret: HE'S NOT ACTUALLY MY BAE I MADE THE WHOLE THING UP SO YOU WOULDN'T KILL ME
  • CJ: lol that's fine except you fuckin lied to me u bitch.
  • Margaret: i know...
  • CJ: YOU HAVE FEELZ FOR MORDECAI DON'T YOU? YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME BUT I'M PUTTING YOU ON THE SPOT SO YOU KINDA HAVE TO
  • Margaret: OKAY FINE I DO JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY
  • Mordecai: oh fuck no
  • CJ: fuck u bitch
  • *storms out*
  • Margaret: Morde-
  • Mordecai: NO WAIT DON'T LEAVE ME HERE IN THIS AWKWARD SITUATION
  • Margaret: fuck
  • *literally a day later*
  • Mordecai: aw shit muscle milk's wedding is today
  • Rigby: Don't you mean "Muscle Man"?
  • *phone rings*
  • Mordecai: not this bitch again *picks up phone* HEY CJ WHAT UP?!?!?!
  • CJ: Nothin much, you?
  • Mordecai: Meh
  • CJ:
  • Mordecai:
  • CJ: Byea
  • *hangs up*
  • Rigby: Ummmm
  • Mordecai: IT'S AWKWARD WHAT ELSE DID YOU EXPECT?!
  • Rigby: oh my fuckin godddddd mordecai just go shove ur fluffy dick up cj's ass and it will make everything a lot better for the rest of us
  • *wedding comes*
  • Margaret: Hi, Mordecai, can you usher me to my seat? :3
  • Mordecai: Nice shoes *shoves her in the doorway*
  • Rigby: *facepalms*
  • Mordecai: CJ HIIIIIIIIIII YOU LOOKIN FABULOUS
  • CJ: thanks u know i'm the hottest cloud around and if you disagree with me ur toast
  • Mordecai: Right haha
  • Muscle Man: AW SHIT WHERE'S MY LETTER
  • Mordecai and Rigby: ughhhhhhhhhhh
  • *finds letter*
  • Rigby: Oh yeah me and that mole bitch have been dating for months now
  • Mordecai: WA T TH E F UC K
  • Rigby: Too bad ur not livin the good life. If you want to, go wit your GUT
  • Mordecai: thank u u fatass raccoon
  • Muscle Man and Starla: *gets married*
  • Mordecai: BEFORE WE GET MARRIED LEMME SAY A FEW WORDS OF HONOR
  • Rigby: hoe don't do it
  • Mordecai: EVERYONE HAS A SOULMATE BUT WHY NOT ME? I FUCK UP EVERYONE'S LIVES FOR THE WORSE AND NOW I REALIZE THAT I WILL NEVER HAVE A SOULMATE IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. CJ UR TRASH. UR FUCKIN TRASH.
  • Rigby: oh my god
  • CJ: heres your bracelet you little fuck
  • Mordecai: RIGBY YOU TOLD ME TO GO WITH MY GUT
  • Rigby: YOU WENT COMPLETELY INSANE MORDECAI
  • Mordecai: my gut sucks what did you expect
  • Rigby: *looks into the camera like he's in The Office*

@butternutstyles, my thoughts on your party slothry idea exceeded message length so here you go…

[to anyone else: this makes a lot more sense if you know that ariana grande once rented a sloth for a birthday party.]

-

Taylor plucks a sharpened pencil from the mason jar on her desk and starts a numbered list on a monogrammed notepad. “Small Talk Topics,” she heads it, and underlines the title precisely.

  1. Just Hold On
  2. Freddie – birthday
  3. Condolences (sincere)
  4. Zayn

She taps the pencil eraser twice against her lower lip, considering. It would be so satisfying to tell Louis that it’s been a pleasure to work with Zayn. (Whether that’s true is beside the point.) “He seems really happy these days,” she might add, sweetly.

No. She scratches a neat line through item 4. That’s exactly the kind of pettiness Louis was probably hoping for when he hung up on her assistant and demanded that Taylor call him herself. Taylor reminds herself, from long experience, that conversations with Louis are not a question of winning or losing. They’re a question of whether she wants to walk away with or without her dignity intact.

She’s put the call off for a couple of days, considered not calling at all. But next Saturday is coming up, and people have certain expectations about parties these days. Taylor hates failing to live up to expectations. She hates it even more than she hates talking to Louis Tomlinson. Taylor takes two centering breaths and dials the number.

Keep reading

HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER ASK MEME
  • "I need to assert my dominance as a man!"
  • "What is wrong with you? You have a mother!"
  • "In hypothetical terms, you scored last night."
  • "Do you like magic?"
  • "I'm like Yoda, except instead of being green and little, I wear suits and I'm awesome. I'm your bro- I'm Broda."
  • "Are you acting out the last scene of Sleepless in Seattle with dolls?"
  • "I have you. I don't need to wait for it anymore."
  • "What would you expect? You've seen my penis."
  • "That makes me want to join a gym so I can get super strong and punch you really hard in the face."
  • "Oh my god, can you just be cool?"
  • "I don't love her, okay? I just miss her when she's not around, think about her all the time, and I imagine us running towards each other in slow motion and I'm wearing a brown seude vest. But I don't want to be her stupid boyfriend!"
  • "I can't just go say hi!"
  • "When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story."
  • "We met at the urinal."
  • "I was a teenage popstar in Canada."
  • "I guess, starting tomorrow, we can tell people."
  • "One out of every eight adult women in America is a prostitute."
  • "Love is the best thing we do."
  • "Playing loser tag is awesome!"
  • "Ouchy in my mouth."
  • "I'm cuddly, bitch. Deal with it!"
  • "I don't care if you have an orgasm! If you care, you do it!"
  • "He can't be pregnant. You have to have sex to be pregnant."
  • "I think you were in love and you messed it up."
  • "Everyone's leaving me and I don't like it!"
  • "Last week, I went out with a girl whose favourite band was Glee."
  • "What are the chances that we're both serial killers?"
  • "When I let a day go without talking to you, that day's just no good."
  • "I'm always gonna love you. Til the end of my days, and beyond."
  • "Love doesn't make sense!"
  • "You make me happy. You make me happy all the time."
  • "Do you want them? I hate olives."
  • "Not awkward, guys. Not awkward if we don't let it be awkward."
  • "Good luck on your date, I hope she's everything you're looking for"
  • "Settling down is for losers and kids who never go out anymore."
  • "There is no one hotter than God."
  • "OK, here’s my thing – if gay guys start getting married, then suddenly the whole world’s gonna be doing it. That’s how it works. they start something, then six months later, everyone follows. Like… now everyone gets manicures."
  • "I keep waiting for something to happen."
  • "Look, you can’t design your life like a building. It doesn’t work that way. You just have to live it… and it’ll design itself."
  • "This font is often mistaken for Helvetica, but actually, it's Helvetica bold."
  • "I refuse to be a part of a third runaway bride situation."
  • "I'm really into you. I just can't be with you...right now."
  • "Whoever is right gets to slap the other person in the face as hard as they possibly can"
  • "I finally found the one. Her name is bacon."
  • "Why is no one coming to my happenings?"
  • "Ain't no thang but a chicken wang, mamacita!"
  • "If you keep acting this way, little by little, you're gonna lose me."
  • "The only people in the universe who haven't seen Star Wars are the characters in Star Wars."
  • "Chicago? Is that even a real place?"
  • "I'm sorry I don't have time for your drama right now. My fiance is missing."
  • "Just tell me. Do you love me?"
  • "Is there any way we could just go back to normal?"
  • "I only know of one truly platonic relationship."
  • "Do you want to keep playing or do you want to win?"
  • "Holding hands is like the fourth grade equivalent of banging."
  • "You hate women and women hate you."
  • "Why say goodbye to the good things?"
  • "You get older, you have kids, you stop stealing. It's sad."
  • "You have to let me dance my own battles!"
  • "New is always better!"
  • "If you have a crazy story, I was there. It's just the law of the universe."
  • "Sometimes things have to fall apart to make way for better things."
  • "The future is scary but you can’t just run back to the past because it’s familiar. Yes it’s tempting but it’s a mistake. "
  • "You took my infant child to a strip club?"
  • "When you're in a new relationship and you're competing with your ex for who's happier, it can get ugly."
  • "I don't get lonely. I have five dogs."
  • "People make fun of the guy who stays home every night doing nothing, but the truth is, that guy is a genius."
  • "It's not cheating if it's on the phone, right?"
  • "Aren't you tired of waiting for destiny?"
Mordecai's Love Life Abridged - The Thrilling Saga
  • Mordecai: *sees Margaret*
  • Mordecai: HOLY S HTI I C ANNOT BREA THE SHE SMOKIN HOT
  • Rigby: Go ask her out! She seems nice...
  • Mordecai: lol wut
  • Rigby: Go ask lady pecs out
  • Mordecai: You kiddin me, I ain't doin that shit
  • Rigby: UGHHHGHGHGHGGHGHGH
  • *five episodes later*
  • Mordecai: Alright, imma do it. I'm gonna do it
  • Margaret: Hey dude wassup?
  • Mordecai: Do you wanna... fuck.
  • Margaret: WHAT?!
  • Mordecai: Nevermind NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE *runs back to Rigby*
  • Rigby: Dude!
  • Mordecai: I tried man, I really did try
  • *he eventually makes up with Margaret and hangs around with her for four seasons not getting anywhere*
  • Mordecai: I'm gonna kiss that hot piece of shit
  • Rigby: Oh lord...
  • Mordecai: it'll be easy!
  • Rigby: DO IT OR YOU'LL HAVE TO WEAR A DIAPER
  • Mordecai: wtf
  • Rigby: DO IT FOR THE VINE
  • Mordecai: Ughhhhhhhhhhh
  • Margaret: What's this shit I'm hearing about a bet?
  • Mordecai: No.
  • Margaret: FUCK YOU MORDECAI. FUCK YOU. *runs off*
  • Mordecai: Noooooooooooooooo!!!!
  • Margaret: Oh you want me to save your sorry little ass from freezing to death? Tell me how you REALLY feel about me.
  • Mordecai: OKAY FINE I LIKE YOU, OKAY?
  • Margaret: *nearly kisses him*
  • Margaret: Fuck you you piece of shit
  • *a few episodes later*
  • Eileen: HORY SHIT GUYS A FUCKIN METEOR SHOWER IS GONNA HIT THIS TOWN WITH A BANG *inside her head* hello Rigby you rabie-filled hottie.
  • Mordecai: Cool! I'll be there.
  • Rigby: ACTUALLY DO IT THIS TIME YOU WUSS.
  • *meteor shower hits*
  • Mordecai: Uhhhhhhhhhhh
  • Rigby: DO IT.
  • Mordecai: Stahp im emotionally unstable
  • Old potato guy: Bruh
  • Mordecai: Ughhhhh. Yo Margaret you wanna kiss?
  • *makes out*
  • Margaret: That was a great meteor shower (what the fuck just happened)
  • *dates for awhile*
  • Mordecai: Yo Margaret
  • Margaret: Goin' to college! Fuck you.
  • *loud emotional crying from Mordecai*
  • CJ: Hey Mordecai, I'm a cool ass cloud that puts up with zero shit, have all the same interests as you, and I kill people. You wanna date?
  • Mordecai: gee, I don't know, you're pretty cool, but-
  • Rigby: DO NOT.
  • Mordecai: Fine.
  • CJ: sick
  • *hangs out for awhile*
  • Eileen: GO ON A FUCKIN DATE ALREADY
  • Mordecai and CJ: wut
  • Eileen: DO IT.
  • Mordecai: Fine, u down fo dis CJ?
  • CJ: sure
  • *date than ends with drama and Mordecai and CJ becoming canon*
  • Mordecai: I luv this cloud
  • Rigby: STAHP
  • Mordecai: What?!
  • Rigby: SPEND MORE TIME WIT ME
  • Mordecai: ... bruh
  • Rigby: UGHHHHHHHHHHHHH
  • *a few months later*
  • Margaret: Surprise bitch
  • Mordecai: THE FUCK
  • Margaret: I bet you thought you'd seen the last of me
  • Mordecai: No. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
  • CJ: Hey Morde-
  • Mordecai: Shut the fuck up
  • CJ: What?
  • Margaret: Hey CJ!
  • CJ: Hi, I'm Mordo's bitch now
  • Margaret: WAT
  • Mordecai: I, ummmm
  • Margaret: No, it's cool! You need to be happy!
  • Mordecai: thx
  • *hug*
  • Mordecai: I AIN'T LETTIN GO OF YOU
  • Margaret: ME EITHER
  • *makes out*
  • CJ: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK
  • Mordecai: well shit
  • Margaret: oh...
  • *runs out crying*
  • Mordecai: NO PLZ FORGIVE ME
  • Eileen: Dis bitch is now my roommate. fuck you.
  • Margaret: you done fucked up Mordecai
  • Mordecai: ...
  • Mordecai: i fucked up. fuck
  • *the next day*
  • Mordecai: what up cj
  • CJ: why the did you invite me to this shithole of a coffee shop
  • Mordecai: idk what happened
  • CJ: Bitch plz
  • Mordecai: Here's a bunch of butt-shaped gifts
  • CJ: OH MY GOD I FORGIVE YOU I FUCKIN LOVE BUTTS
  • Margaret: IM GOIN TO CALL MORDY AT THE WRONG FUCKING TIME. YO MORDY
  • CJ: who the fuck is this bitch
  • Mordecai: The bitch I kissed
  • CJ: FUCK YOU ASSHOLE.
  • *more sad music*
  • Mordecai: fuck you margaret... fuck you...
  • Sad Sax Guy: IF YOU HAVIN GURL PROBLEMS I FELL BAD FO YOU SON I GOT 99 PROBLEMS BUT A BITCH AINT ONE
  • Mordecai: shut up and help me cj fuckin hates my guts
  • Sad Sax Guy: Get the bitch you kissed here
  • Mordecai: Fine
  • *at the park*
  • Mordecai: Wut up bitch
  • Margaret: I don't want to get involved even though I should have stopped you from kissing me but I went along with it anyway, so fuck you.
  • Mordecai: You're a good friend
  • *hugs*
  • CJ: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME
  • Mordecai: goddammit...
  • Sad Sax Guy: Lol just put up a bunch of cheap-ass performances fo her
  • Mordecai: thanks lmao
  • CJ: is this a fuckin joke
  • Mordecai: Yo up Cee- *gets hit by bus*
  • CJ: JESUS CHRIST ARE YOU OKAY
  • Mordecai: Yeah, thing is.... are you?
  • CJ: Feelin' great *slaps him on head with board* bye asshole
  • Rigby: Are you insane?!
  • Mordecai: lol wut
  • Rigby: STAHP LISTENING TO A WEIRD SHIRTLESS GUY WHO PLAYS THE SAXOPHONE FOR SOME WEIRD REASON
  • Mordecai: Ugh.
  • Sad Sax Guy: Go to your older bitch's house
  • Mordecai: You mean my mom's?
  • Sad Sax Guy: ...
  • *goes to mom's house*
  • Mordecai's Mom: You done fucked up Mordecai
  • Mordecai: I KNOW. HELP ME.
  • Mordecai's Mom: Sway her in.
  • Mordecai: Fine.
  • *goes outside*
  • Mordecai: Rigby, tell dis bitch to look outside
  • Rigby: Look outside
  • CJ: Awwwwwww...
  • *at hospital*
  • CJ: Why the fuck did you kiss that bitch
  • Mordecai: I HAD FEELZ FOR MARGARET AND SEEING HER BROUGHT DOS FEELZ BACK I'M SORRY PLEASE TAKE ME BACK IT WAS MY FAULT.
  • CJ: Fine.
  • *makes out*
  • Sad Sax Guy: Happy holidays, asshole.
  • *a month later*
  • Eileen: YOU GUYZ WANNA SEE SOME FUCKIN SEA TURTS
  • CJ, Mordecai, and Rigby: sure
  • Eileen: YO MARGARET YOU WANNA SEE
  • CJ: no
  • Eileen: wat
  • CJ: NO.
  • Eileen: Oh. Right.
  • *in the car*
  • CJ: you had to kiss dat bitch didnt u mordecai
  • Mordecai: I HAD FEELZ FOR HER I'M SORRY FO DA LAST TIME.
  • *drama with spa shit happens*
  • CJ: Goddammit.
  • *calls Margaret*
  • Margaret: YOOOOOOO CHECK OUT THESE ASSHOLES USIN' TURTLES FO THEIR SPA SHIT, HOW DA FUCK DO YOU FEEL ABOUT ANIMAL CRUELTY?
  • *a bunch of shit goes down*
  • Eileen: THX MARGARET FO SAVING OUR ASS
  • CJ: I called her u know...
  • Eileen: CJ AWWWWWWWWWW
  • *group hug with margaret*
  • CJ: bitch what the fuck do u think you're doing
  • Margaret: #awkward
  • Eileen: SHUT UP AND HUG ME
  • CJ: i came to have a good time and im honestly feeling so attacked right now
  • *a month later*
  • Mordecai: HOLY SHIT A PARTY IS GOIN DOWN AT DAT OTHER BITCH'S HOUSE. YO C-
  • CJ: lol no i'd rather pick up garbage than do that
  • Rigby: Oh right, because-
  • Mordecai: Shut the fuck up Rigby. Look, I'll get u some of dat cake cause u a bae.
  • CJ: THANK YOU MORDECAI *hugs*
  • Mordecai: *sees Margaret*
  • Mordecai: NOPE *runs into bathroom*
  • Rigby: dude... what the fuck...
  • Mordecai: I AIN'T FUCKIN ANYTHING UP IN HERE
  • Rigby: bruh...
  • Mordecai: Fine...
  • Margaret's Dad: YO DIAPER BOY I GOT A SEAT IN THE HELI FO YA YOU WANNA RIDE WIT DA FAM?
  • Mordecai: shit
  • *goes onto helicopter*
  • Margaret: How's the park? :)
  • Mordecai: FUCK HER RIGHT IN DA PUSSY
  • Margaret: stahp acting weird oh my god...
  • Mordecai: I HAVE TO U DON'T UNDERSTAND
  • CJ: lol so some bitch got burned by a river and... what the fuck is my bitch doing with that bitch...
  • Mordecai: oh no. don't.
  • CJ: GOD FUCKING DAMMIT MORDECAI I AM DONE TRUSTING YOU YOU PIECE OF GODDAMN BIRD SHIT YOU CAN GO SUCK ON MARGARET'S EGGS FOR ALL I CARE *rages*
  • Mordecai: NO STAHP I'VE BEEN TELLIN YOU A HUNDRED FUCKIN TIMES I AM NOT WIT THIS BITCH ANYMORE
  • CJ: LIAR
  • *almost kills Margaret's parents*
  • Margaret: MOMMMMMMMMMMMM DADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
  • Margaret's parents: well fuck u wanna do a mannonball into the pool
  • *lands*
  • CJ: RAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWR *knocks Margaret off helicopter*
  • Margaret: I HAVE A BAE LITERALLY CALM THE FUCK DOWN CJ
  • Mordecai: lol wut
  • Margaret's dad: lol wut
  • CJ: lol wut
  • Margaret's Boyfriend: lol hi guyz wut up
  • Margaret: SO SHUT THE FUCK UP THEN
  • Mordecai: thank god *lands helicopter*
  • CJ: *cries*
  • Mordecai: yo bitch i got u cake
  • CJ: you might as well take that cake and shove it up my ass mordecai
  • Mordecai: lol ok
  • CJ: IT's A FIGURE OF SPEECH YOU MORON
  • Mordecai: oh
  • CJ: I FUCKED UP. I ALMOST KILLED DIS BITCH'S PARENTS-
  • Margaret: will u please stop referring to me as "bitch"
  • CJ: ANNNNNNYWAAAAYYYS I ALMOST KILLED THEM ALL OVER NOTHING
  • Mordecai: yeah u did that....
  • CJ: I HAVE TO LEAVE I'M HAVING FEELZ
  • *CJ runs off as "You Give Love a Bad Name" by Bon Jovi plays in the background*
  • *a few months later*
  • Margaret: zzzzzzzzz HOLY FUCK oh my god *shoves head on couch* EILEEN GET YOUR MOLE ASS IN HERE
  • Eileen: oh god not this shit again
  • Margaret: I don't actually have a bae! I made the whole thing up so CJ wouldn't kick my ass! WHAT DO I DO
  • Eileen: Tell the truth?
  • Margaret: bitch pls
  • *knocking on door*
  • Eileen: you know that bitch that almost killed your parents? well, she's here
  • Margaret: OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE *opens the door*
  • CJ: Hey, Margaret! :3
  • Margaret: Hey, uh, CJ...
  • CJ: Look I'm sorry for pretty much the whole time that I've known you with killing your parents, destruction and all that other shit, but can we get to know each other a little bit? You can bring your bae if you want!
  • Margaret: KEWL
  • CJ: Awesome! *leaves*
  • Margaret: OH MY FUCKING GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE
  • Eileen: Get Del here
  • Margaret: YO DEL CAN YOU PRETEND TO BE MY SUGAR DADDY FOR THE DAY
  • Del: lol sure
  • Margaret: RIGBY COME UP WITH A SCRIPT
  • Rigby: k
  • Del: *literally fucks everything up*
  • CJ: he cool
  • Margaret: ikr
  • Del: how you guys doing (ohhhhh dis is da best ass ive felt all my life)
  • Margaret: good I guess (get your fucking meat sticks off my ass)
  • Margaret: YOU'RE FUCKING EVERYTHING UP
  • Del: i know
  • Margaret: RIGBY DEL IS-
  • Rigby: fuck u bitch *hangs up*
  • Mordecai: i like del. hes pretty cool
  • Margaret: lol yeah
  • Mordecai: :>
  • Margaret: (oh my god mordecai's adorable as shit) DEL IS NOT ACTUALLY-
  • Bar: LOL HERE COMES A FUCKIN KISS CAM TO LITERALLY FUCK EVERYTHING UP. AND NOW LET'S "COINCIDENTALLY" POINT IT TOWARDS MARGARET AND DEL TROLOLOLOLOLOLOL
  • Margaret: oh god i have to kiss this ass pincher
  • Del: come on gimme a kiss
  • Margaret: NO GO FUCK YOURSELF
  • Audience: shit
  • CJ: im sorry what the fuck did you just say
  • Margaret: HE'S NOT ACTUALLY MY BAE I MADE THE WHOLE THING UP SO YOU WOULDN'T KILL ME
  • CJ: lol that's fine except you fuckin lied to me u bitch.
  • Margaret: i know...
  • CJ: YOU HAVE FEELZ FOR MORDECAI DON'T YOU? YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME BUT I'M PUTTING YOU ON THE SPOT SO YOU KINDA HAVE TO
  • Margaret: OKAY FINE I DO JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY
  • Mordecai: oh fuck no
  • CJ: fuck u bitch
  • *storms out*
  • Margaret: Morde-
  • Mordecai: NO WAIT DON'T LEAVE ME HERE IN THIS AWKWARD SITUATION
  • Margaret: fuck
Chocolate Cake: Chapter 3

[I did it guys, this chapter was so hard to write i don’t even know whats going on anymore, but its done. And I'm sorry in advance for making Adrien suffer, its for his own good.]

Description: Adrien offers to help Marinette while she’s taking care of the bakery on her own.

Word Count: 3116

Rating: K

~        ~        ~        ~        ~        ~        ~        ~        ~        ~        ~        ~        ~

Adrien had to physically hold himself back from consuming the mass amount of sweets around him. He was supposed to be helping, not hindering. But the cookies in the oven called to him. Maybe he could sneak one later.

“Okay, next we need the cocoa powder.” Adrien was immediately snapped back to reality. He was baking a cake. Or, trying to at least. Marinette was doing most of the baking. He had just been watching her bake this whole time. It was a strange sight to see. Marinette, who was usually fumbling over every other word, now speaking each sentence with ease as she poured first flour, then sugar, and eggs into a mixing bowl. It must be the fact that she was home where she belonged, or doing something she enjoyed; probably both.

“And now we’re done!” Marinette clapped her powder covered hands and looked at Adrien with accomplishment and pure joy written on her face. He smiled back and pretended that he had been paying attention. “Do you think you can do it on your own now Adrien?”

The model nodded vigorously. He had no idea what had just happened, but he could probably figure it out, eventually…

“Thanks so much Adrien! I need to go upstairs and work on an order before we open the shop. Will you be alright down here on your own?”

“Yes.” Maybe. No.

“Cool! I’ll be upstairs if you need anything.”

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