actually i had better things to do

Okay wow. Excuse me while I sob grossly over this amazing reception I got tonight??? I had no idea people actually missed me and I am just like a puddle over here from all of your being so nice ‘n whatnot. I really missed being around and I promise I’m going to be more active again. Because writing makes me feel better and I’ve been awfully stressed and depressed as of late. <3

ALSO! If we had a thread going and you’d like to continue it, PLEASE LET ME KNOW! I know it’s been like, two months or longer since I last replied, so I would be okay starting something new if you want! But if you’d like a thread continued, just poke me and I’ll reply. I have most all of them in my drafts.

I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH! But now I must sleep. I shall return in the morning!

a hundred random starters 

below are starters based on/inspired by various sources. change the genders as you see fit ;)

  • ❝ why do you keep lying to me? ❞
  • ❝ have you ever considered the idea that maybe, this world doesn’t revolve around you & your problems? ❞
  • ❝ love is love is love is love. ❞
  • ❝ marriage is an absurd arrangement. one is sold as a fifteen-year-old child and makes a vow one does not understand and then regrets for thirty years or more, and which one can never undo again. ❞
  • ❝ why are you crying this time? ❞
  • ❝ you will never escape. ❞
  • ❝ this isn’t what I wanted! ❞
  • ❝ everything has its consequences. ❞
  • ❝ this face bears the mission of heaven. ❞
  • ❝ no, you shall dismantle the house of lies, but build the temple of the divine. ❞
  • ❝ one copper coin for a bowl of noodles! ❞
  • ❝ that one has the heart of a lion. ❞
  • ❝ I needed to be summoned. ❞
  • ❝ there’s no reason for this hostility! I come in peace. ❞
  • ❝ they died screaming. ❞
  • ❝ why fight anymore? what’s the point of fighting against destiny? ❞
  • ❝ how long have you known? ❞
  • ❝ I can only speak for myself. ❞
  • ❝ the law can be changed. ❞
  • ❝ are you sure you’re not pregnant? ❞
  • ❝ your child is adorable! ❞
  • ❝ you gave him a riddle for his birthday? ❞
  • ❝ you have no fucking right to treat me this way. ❞
  • ❝ your ambition blinds you. ❞
  • ❝ he adores you. ❞
  • ❝ I feel like I should be shocked that you two had sex there, but I’m not anymore. ❞
  • ❝ she’s going to kill you. ❞
  • ❝ have you ever tried the cakes? they’re actually quite delicious. ❞
  • ❝ you’ll need to be punished. ❞
  • ❝ you should learn to lie better. ❞
  • ❝ sometimes I wonder if you’re real. ❞
  • ❝ I will take back what is mine & kill anyone who stands in my way. ❞
  • ❝ then kill me. ❞
  • ❝ there’s no such thing as love. there is only lust. ❞
  • ❝ you’re selfish. you never think about anyone but yourself. ❞
  • ❝ i’m sorry, but they’re gone. ❞
  • ❝ death is just another adventure. ❞
  • ❝ stop! ❞
  • ❝ let them watch. ❞
  • ❝ you have no shame, do you? ❞
  • ❝ I can’t believe we’re talking about this right now. ❞
  • ❝ I need advice. sex advice. ❞
  • ❝ alright, tell me the truth, is he good in bed? ❞
  • ❝ she is the best thing in my life. ❞
  • ❝ you love him? ❞
  • ❝ do you love me at all? ❞
  • ❝ do you believe in soul mates? ❞
  • ❝ please, you have to believe me. I didn’t kill anyone! ❞
  • ❝ history is written by the victorious. ❞
  • ❝ at least she has a heart! you have none. ❞
  • ❝ isn’t it more important that they told you? ❞
  • ❝ the king is displeased. ❞
  • ❝ long live your majesty! ❞
  • ❝ can you stop talking for just one moment & listen to me? ❞
  • ❝ no matter how hard I try, they just won’t stay dead. ❞
  • ❝ he’s a gold digger. he’ll screw anyone & marry them as long as they have money. ❞
  • ❝ o! how sweet love must be! ❞
  • ❝ do you really think that? ❞
  • ❝ quick, you need to hide before they see you! ❞
  • ❝ you taught me to never trust anyone. ❞
  • ❝ this is extreme, even for you. ❞
  • ❝ you guys were pretty loud last night. I guess it was good? ❞
  • ❝ that wasn’t an apology & you know it. ❞
  • ❝ are you a virgin? ❞
  • ❝ I’m married. ❞
  • ❝ best thing I ever did was marrying you. ❞
  • ❝ red roses won’t erase the fact that you broke my heart. ❞
  • ❝ stop taking all the ice cream! ❞
  • ❝ has anyone told you that you’re sort of a little bitch? ❞
  • ❝ it’s deep dish pizza. ❞
  • ❝ do you want to fight for your land back or not? ❞
  • ❝ I never realized how much of a coward you are. ❞
  • ❝ there’s nothing worse than someone who isn’t willing to try new things. ❞
  • ❝ haven’t you ever wanted to escape? to leave this place & explore the world? ❞
  • ❝ i think you’ve had enough to drink. ❞
  • ❝ your ancestors would be ashamed if they saw you. ❞
  • ❝ one of the dolls is missing! ❞
  • ❝ are we going to die here? ❞
  • ❝ well looks like we’ve found ourselves in a bit of a dilemma. ❞
  • ❝ I am no longer a child! ❞
  • ❝ the baby won’t stop crying! i don’t know what to do anymore! ❞
  • ❝ what if something happens to them? ❞
  • ❝ once upon a time, I gave a damn about what people thought about me. ❞
  • ❝ if he can get away with this, then so can i! ❞
  • ❝ the dark shall come & take everything you love from you. ❞
  • ❝ it’s the same story over & over again. you’d think people would know better by now. ❞
  • ❝ there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you. ❞
  • ❝ you are what is wrong with this world. ❞
  • ❝ shattered dreams can drive anyone mad. ❞
  • ❝ I am a phoenix. burn me & I shall return, rising from the ashes. ❞
  • ❝ this is my home. ❞
  • ❝ home is where the heart is, where you feel safe & warm & loved. ❞
  • ❝ running away has never solved a damn thing! ❞
  • ❝ fuck me. ❞
  • ❝ oh the things I’d do to you if we were alone. ❞
  • ❝ stop, he’s not here, remember? he’s gone & he can’t hurt you anymore. ❞
  • ❝ your husband/wife – is he/she good to you? ❞
  • ❝ stop & think a moment, you have to stay & rest. there’s a child who needs you now, you can’t just run & be a fucking idiot. ❞
  • ❝ once, I drank a whole bottle by myself. ❞
  • ❝ what do I want? I want to kiss you a thousand times before undressing you & kissing every bit of your flesh a thousand more times. ❞

Go for the thing you actually want to do.  

Many students, teachers and family told me studying 2D animation in school from 2009- 2013 was foolish because there were already no more 2D animation jobs, and that I should study 3D animation. But I hate rigorous, technical work, I honestly hate computers all together. I’m not built for that kind of thinking, and I’m not interested in it. I was and am far more interested in drawing and film making than mastering technology. I’m almost four years out of school now, and have now had far better career opportunities than many of my 3D classmates because I am passionate about what I do.

My senior year of college,  I narrowed the parts of the animation process that I am most interested in to writing and storyboarding. But, I was afraid to pursue those jobs because I knew from interning in studios that they were highly coveted positions. So, I went for cleanup and animation jobs, hoping to work my way up. I even got lucky and landed character design work down the line, though I’m not particularly interested in design. It was only when i started taking storyboarding classes, making storyboards in my spare time, pursuing storyboarding jobs, calling myself a storyboard artist, that those opportunities started to become available to me. And it turns out, I’m far better at storyboarding than I was at those other positions, because it’s the thing I enjoy the most. This is not to say “don’t take that cleanup job that pays the bills.” Take that job, and do online storyboarding classes at night, and read storyboarding blogs on your lunch break, make storyboard samples and comics in your free time on nights and weekends… Then, ask for storyboard tests, and test and test and test. It might take a while, no worries. Go ahead and put ‘storyboard artist’ on your website in the meantime instead of ‘illustrator’ or 'cleanup’ or whatever your more accurate fallback job is.

Don’t work in a studio in your fallback job and wait for someone to give you the opportunity. You might think because you are hard working at your compromise job, the management will reward loyalty with the job you politely asked for, or maybe were even too polite to actually ask for. They won’t give you that job. They probably won’t even help you get that job. So test within that studio if they’ll let you, and apply other places in the meantime while you keep paying the bills with that job.

There’s no excuse to me. Even people who want to direct can direct their own animated shorts in their spare time and build up a commercial directing portfolio from those shorts. You can do the same thing making crappy live action films with borrowed equipment in your spare time. It’s costly and time consuming, but you can throw your musician friend a couple bucks for the score, get a compositor buddy to throw effects on your short in exchange for some animation she needs, and buy a bunch of friends pizza to help you clean up scenes or hold lights or whatever. I’ve done it before.

I used storyboards as an example above, (read blogs during lunch, etc.) but apply that same tenacity towards whatever you want to do: vis dev, character design, comic penciler, stop motion fabricator, 3D modeler, whatever. I want to be a writer now, that’s the next hurdle for me. I’ve written two pilots and I’m taking it seriously, going to writing events, talking to people, refining my work and writing new material, and generally conducting myself as a writer. I have no idea how long, or even if this will take, but I’m pursuing it like it’s real because I enjoy writing, so I think I’d be good at it. Please don’t be one of these people that talks about all the stuff you’re “working on”, when you are really just thinking about working on that stuff. Too many of those in the world, please just go and get things done. “There are those who write, and those who talk about writing.” An adage I like. Apply it to whatever you like “There are those who design characters, and those who talk about designing characters…”

So please, everyone, go for what you want, don’t stop short now. You’ll be a lot better at your job when you’re doing the thing you like.

top pick-up lines:

  • “The name’s Lance”
  • “We were like rivals you know…Lance and Keith neck and neck.”
  • “I actually don’t hate you right now”
  • “I did something cool and you can’t handle it.”
  • “We’ll work on it.”
  • “We did it. We are a good team.”
  • “We had a bonding moment! I cradled you in my arms!”
  • “What’s that? You’re cutting ot…I can’t—I can’t hear you.”
  • “I thought we bonded!! Keith, buddy, my man?”
  • “That actually is a better idea.”
  • “Sharp work samurai.”
  • “Like that? ;)”
  • “Thanks Keith.” “You got it”
  • “Thanks for the heads up.”
  • “Is the princess with you? Like…with you…with you?”
  • “And Keith is always doing things like flying into asteroid fields and black holes and cool junk like that.”

jokes that will always be funny - canine characters, no matter their personality or intelligence, falling prey to spherical objects being thrown.

Please don’t tag as kin/me - Please don’t repost to other websites - Please don’t remove caption ✮


So I have decided to post all the facts and hints about Connor Murphy’s past that are shown in the musical. It’s hard to make out considering people in the fandom usually focus on the lies Evan tells to figure out Connor’s personality.

To get this conclusion (which I will post in a second) I literally skipped all scenes concerning Evan’s lies and went directly to the Murphy family and what they say. None of these facts/hints involve what Evan said about Connor.

First of all, I’ll say now that I have put my own interpretation on each of these facts.

And so, I will put all FACTS in BOLD.
Anything out of bold is my own interpretation and how I see it to be. It’s up to you to agree with me or disagree.

First, I will post my conclusions on each family member, and then afterwards, I will post the reasons for each one.


Zoe was an emotional and verbal abuse victim. There is no evidence of physical abuse, although there were threats that could have potentially led to that. She has all the right to not grieve over Connor, in all honesty, she could have sent him to the police for what he did, but as an abuse victim, that is very hard to do. Connor was probably the cause of most of her insecurities and she hated him for that. The unhealthy habit of taking out his anger on the nearest person to him probably made him lash out at his sister whenever he had a panic attack. Judging by how he really did care enough to keep the creepy letter about his sister, written by Evan, in his pocket for 3 days before he committed suicide, it’s safe to say that he really regretted being mean to his sister and actually cared about her.

Connor’s mom, Cynthia

Connor’s mom was a woman obsessed with reputation. She’s known as the rich man’s wife, and wants more than anything to be a regular family. But because her son had mental illnesses, her perfect image was ruined. She acted as though she was there for him but when it came down to it, she did nothing. She pushed for therapy but after a while, her husband took him out of it because “it wasn’t worth the money,” and she basically went, “welp, I tried.” I will quote what I say later: Connor’s mom might not actually be sad that her son is gone, but rather, she’s ashamed that her family actually doesn’t care. It seems like Connor’s mom is filled with regret for not being there for her son, and she’s forcing her family to act like they regretted it too, because that’s what a real family should have been like. But this is only a personal theory.

Connor’s dad, Larry

Connor’s dad might be one of the main sources of his depression. It is very obvious to me that Connor’s dad believed him to be a disappointment. He didn’t grieve for his dead son and only played along to make his wife happy. He’s annoyed by the whole situation. It even seemed like he hated the fact that there was fake remnants of his son in Evan. Almost like he wished Connor wasn’t friends with Evan so he could just forget all about him and not need to deal with it. At some point he was a kind father. When they went to the orchard together for picnics, it seems like they were a happy family. Connor’s dad had played with their toy plane together and had some great memories. The whole family practically forgot about this, though. Connor’s dad didn’t cry at his own dead son’s funeral. I think that sums it up.

Connor Murphy

Connor was a complicated person. He had many different mental illnesses. I could research which ones he probably had, but there’s probably already a post somewhere on it already. One thing for sure, is that he was unstable. He might not have been like that his whole life, but at the time of knowing him, the time he was briefly alive in the show, he was incredibly unstable. Everything and anything could set him off, and he probably hated that about himself as well. Pushing away everyone near him that could possibly help and hating himself for doing so, spiraling himself into a closed minded world of self-hate and regret, which is something that many people can relate to, including me. He did a lot of horrible things to his sister and to his family. I don’t blame his family for not actually grieving him, he was a really bad person. The problem is, he could have been a good person as well. He had all the potential to get better. He talked to Evan, probably wishing to say sorry about pushing him earlier in the hall. He was trying, he wanted to try. He wanted to get better. He just gave up too soon.

This post is very long! I’m sorry. If you’d like to read more, I’m putting the reasons I’ve come to these conclusions under the cut.

Remember, ALL FACTS ARE IN BOLD. Anything else is my personal interpretation.

Keep reading

whale emoji rating


pretty basic! the shading feels a bit weird and so does the water after long inspection, nice baby buoy though! 8/10

the bold lining seems a bit weird but i like the realistic touch of water!! freaky but soft buoy 9/10

microsoft kind of butchered this one with the poor spine breaking pose and the lining. poor boy dont do that you could get hurt!!!!! 6/10

a big round buoy! big spherical buoy! big bulbous boy! chunky boy! 10/10

No. Shadings weird, thats not what water is, and theres no feeling behind those eyes. 1/10

very simple! a nice simple boy. probably likes writing and books. only problem is the water looks like a treesprout. a blue one. a plant whale. (not a bad idea actually but this isnt what its supposed to be) 9/10

messenger always comin at me with a tumblr feel. as much as i hate this hellsite i cant help but love the art on here. i like the idea of a soft but realistic boy! good design good design 10/10

wonderful. amazing. beautiful. round. soft. chunky. squishy. happy. good. 9/10

i like the idea of a purple whale instead of a bloo one!! good idea but they screwed up the water 7/10

soft boy, thats really there is to say on the matter 8/10

look at him!!!!!! he’s so happy and smiley!!!!!!!!! 10/10

fuck you emojidex. fuck you for ruining my life with things like these. i woke up. had coffee and breakfast. and got on my computer to have a good day. not to see shit like this. when will you learn. when will you learn. when will you learn that your actions have consequences. there are actual people dying around in the world. there are actual people in their homes sobbing their eyes out right now. do you not think about the suffering people in the world? do you only think of yourself? you faceless men. dont try to relate to us. dont try and appeal to us. there are so many better things you could be doing than this. this. you’re wasting hard earned cash and equipment with things like this. are you not ashamed? are you not the slightest bit worried that someone might see this and frown? a whale used to be a holy symbol. a whale is like a silent, watchful guardian of the seas. then you disgrace such a beautiful creature with this. watch out emojidex. at 4am tonight. i’m coming for you. so keep your doors locked. your windows closed. and your eyes open. not like thats gonna change anything anyway. Arrivederci, Emojidex.

EXCLUSIVE: The 7 Biggest Secrets From Hook & Emma's 'Once Upon a Time' Wedding: Vows, Honeymoon & Much More!


Wedding bells are officially ringing in Storybrooke!

Once Upon a Time’s highly anticipated musical episode is almost here, which means that we’re just a few days away from witnessing Emma Swan and Killian Jones say “I do” in a breathtaking wedding ceremony. (Trust us. It’s perfect.)

ET had the pleasure of visiting Once Upon a Time’s set in Vancouver, Canada, last month during filming of the musical matrimony, and we sat down with stars Jennifer Morrison and Colin O'Donoghue for an intimate and in-depth interview that focused on each and every aspect of their on-screen wedding.

From their “honest” vows, to Emma’s “timeless” wedding gown, and their dream honeymoon – only ET has all the inside scoop straight from the stars of the series! Plus, we’ve got additional details from executive producers Adam Horowitz and Edward Kitsis, as well as Once Upon a Time’s head costume designer Eduardo Castro.

So, shall we get started? Or, as O'Donoghue cleverly put it: who’s ready for some “music and dance and some mighty fine romance” at Captain Swan’s wedding?

Just a warning that this is the biggest Once Upon a Time article we’ve ever written, so grab a comfy seat, put your cellphone on silent and get ready to go on an emotional roller coaster of feels. And, as always, please remember to breathe!

1. The Venue: The Once showrunners confessed that they had considered a number of “other places” for Emma and Killian to tie the knot – yes, even Granny’s! – but in the end, they settled on a brand new Storybrooke location for the ceremony. “Without wanting to spoil the episode, there’s a story reason for why it’s on the roof,” Horowitz revealed. “But there’s also something to us that was super romantic about having Storybrooke as the backdrop.”

Emma and Killian will tie the knot in front of a dream-worthy sunset and surrounded by their closest friends and family. “It’s the place where they’ve kind of come together,” Horowitz continued. “Where their love has grown and where both of them as characters have grown, so seeing the whole town kind of beneath and surrounding them felt like a really cool way to do it.”

“I thought it was perfect,” Morrison dished. “We just felt, like, what better way to make it feel extra special than to have [the wedding] also be the musical episode?”

Keep reading

Things I learned you’ll actually need for your dorm after one year of college that you probably won’t see on pinterest

So, I recently finished my first year at college (which was definitely an adventure, and probably one of the best years of my life so far) and I’ve made a few mistakes, but none that couldn’t be fixed. For example, I really didn’t do adequate research as to what I’ll actually need for my dorm room because I was too busy fantasizing how I was gonna diy decorate my dorm room into a pinterest masterpiece. Anyway, I quickly learned my lesson.

Basically, your dorm room isn’t just for display. You live there. It’s gonna get messy, it’s gonna have to store a lot of stuff, and you’re not always going to have time to keep it in pristine condition because life gets crazy. But you can deal with it, I promise, and for all the new freshman prepping for their first dorm experience, I want to give some advice on how you can be prepared for what college life actually hits you with.

Alright, so I actually ended up being in a triple (so I had two roommates) which meant I had even less space than the average broom-closet sized dorm room and I had two people I had to get along with. Thankfully, we all ended up being really close and very considerate of each other, and I am incredibly grateful for it. We learned our lessons together, and this is the list of stuff we came up with:

1. Vacuum: Get a real vacuum, maybe a cheap one (not like a crazy dyson), but a real one. Not just a handheld one (like we had) because it won’t be enough. Girls shed hair. A lot. (especially three long haired girls like us) People might accidentally spill a bag of powdered sugar on your rug, or you might rip open a bag of cereal a little too vigorously, or, more seriously, you might break something like glass and you don’t want anyone cutting open their foot on a shard. 

2. Swiffer: If your floor was linoleum like ours (that’s why we needed a rug, which I’ll mention later), then it will get dusty and dirty. Having a swiffer is just nice to have because once you vacuum your rug clean, you don’t want the dirt on the linoleum getting on the rug. Plus, it’s gonna a rain and there’s gonna be mud. It’s gross.

3. Brita filter: So my dorm was actually the absolute best freshman dorm not just because the people were amazing, but because we had sinks. IN OUR ROOMS. It is just so CONVENIENT. Anyway, I am fully aware that not everyone is as lucky as us and the only sinks will be in the bathroom. A Brita filter pitcher is nice to keep in your fridge because you can have fresh clean in your room at any given moment.

4. Trash can: We had three in our room for each person but they kinda ended up being shared based on location in the room, but yeah. You need somewhere to throw away stuff.

5. Plastic bags or just garbage bags: And not only do you need a place to throw away stuff, you need plastic bags or garbage bags for clean disposal. And trash piles up real fast in your tiny room, so you’ll need to replenish these bags very often. I learned from my mom that you always have a place to store your plastic bags, and so we had a designated plastic bag drawer where we kept all the bags from our local campus convenience store, or the drug store, or wherever. Trust me, it’s saved lives. (as in, barf bags)

6. Command hooks: So we had to bunk two beds and loft another to have enough room and it’s kind of a pain in the ass to constantly climb down to throw something out so we had a trash bag hanging from a command hook on my roommate’s lofted bed and yeah. That bag has saved lives. (same situation as above) Plus, you can hang hats, bags, towels, little caddies for your toothbrush off of these hooks and it’s just so nice because you don’t lose things.

7. Clorox wipes: Again, stuff gets gross, and you’ll unfortunately need to clean things (ie your mom doesn’t clean everything for you anymore). Have two packs stored because you never know.

8. Dish soap: Real dishes need to be washed well, or else you’ll get sick.

9. Sponges: For the dish soap. And the dishes.

10. Windex: For our mirror, which we wrote on with washable marker, and I killed ants with it too. 

11. Storage for food: Something airtight so bugs can’t get to it, like a trunk. We also had mice sometimes go into our vents. And then into people’s rooms. They’re looking for a warm place to hide, and food. Don’t leave food out is the lesson. But also have food in your room! Our room was well known to always have food and its really nice when you’re staying up late and everything is closed.

12. Tissues: Freshman plague is so real. You will most certainly get it, and probably several times too. 

13. Vitamins and medicine: Your immune system is gonna get a work out in college. Help it out with some vitamin C tablets. Have some tylenol or advil for headaches and aches and pains. And side note, if you’re really sick, just go to the health center, you don’t have to suffer through it.

14. Slippers: Get a comfy, cheap pair (because sometimes dorm hallways are gross, especially on the weekends) that you can wear all around your building and still be comfy.

15. Power strip: So much stuff needs to be plugged in and you definitely won’t have enough outlets between you and your roommate(s).

16. Printer: Okay, this seems a little unreasonable, but we were lucky because my one roommate had a spare one at home (how though??) and I have frequently said it is my favorite thing in our room. It has come in clutch so many times. But if you have a campus printer near you, or if its too expensive, it’s fine not to have one. But if you do get one, I would recommend getting one that is NOT wireless. University wifi doesn’t like you using other wifi (ie it won’t work). Get a printer that has a cable.

17. Plastic plates and forks: We have real dishes and silverware too, but plastic stuff is just easier clean up.

18. Rug: I almost forgot about this one.The floor gets cold and a rug also makes a room feel homier. You and your friends are gonna sit there and bond all that fun stuff, and someone might even sleepover on it (if they have a sleeping bag).

19. Chairs: So we actually didn’t have any other chairs other than the ones that university gave us for our desks and those are okay and everything, but some of our friends had these amazing, foldable, springy chairs that were so comfortable and also a lot of fun, and I am definitely getting one for my room next year. 

Other things you might need but might forget (maybe?):



Rain boots

Rain coat

Extra towels

Contact solution

Favorite mug



Make up wipes



Of course, this is not an exhaustive list, you’ll definitely need other things (like a fridge, microwave, sheets, pillows, decorations, etc), or see that you really don’t need some of the things I’ve mentioned. Honestly, do what you feel is best and good luck! I loved my first year at college! Like basically everyone, I had some trouble adjusting at first. I felt pretty lonely in the beginning too, but once you start going, things start to fall into place. I met some great people, had some great classes, and honestly, I’m going to miss my first year–even with all the excitement of being an upperclassman next semester.

I hope this helped and that you have just as great of an experience in your first year as I did–actually, even better!

Literally how I became happy.

A lot of you guys are always concerned about me because the more that I share, the more you realize I’m a real person with struggles and issues and I’m not 100% okay 100% of the time haha so I just wanna give an update and share some insight on how I’ve been doing and what I’ve been working on.
The hair cut is the visible part. The change is sooooo real. I look like a different person but I seriously FEEL like one. Surface changes: I live in Tennessee. I have short blonde hair. I’ve now dated two guys that I actually loved. I own a house and a car. Before, I lived in California, I had freaking long brown hair, I shared a mini van with four other people, I’d never been on a date and truly questioned whether I’d ever meet anyone that liked me for who I was, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life past like two years into the future and I felt like I would live with my parents forever. So a lot of big things have changed but honestly the biggest changes happened inside with less visible results. You can only see it in my smile and hear it in my words. But really you’ll see it in my actions over the next 12 months. It’s just the beginning.
I honestly don’t know where it came from. The last six years I have been so passive. My life has been happening to me. There have been some breakthrough moments where I learned a lot about myself and my confidence and self love, yes. I had some good times for sure. But as far as knowing what I want and where I wanna go, I was not good at that. I felt SO powerless and began to withdraw more and more, in my friendships, my career, our band, my family, everything. I shared so little each day, I had so few ideas, I didn’t create much, I only wrote when I was really upset or inspired (which wasn’t that often), I had no social life, no vision for myself, no confidence that anyone would ever love me and I just wasn’t living a rich life at all. I was an observer hoping that one day someone or something would come along and make my life actually enjoyable. I was constantly waiting. I journaled a lot and released a lot of emotion, that part was good. I just felt like I was living in a cave, stuck in the past, not doing much each day to actually experience life.
Then we moved across the country. *shock* *panic* *whoa*. That was the first time I was really shaken up.
Then I had my heart broken. Twice. I fell in love and both times it didn’t work out. I NEEDED that, to meet people who actually got me and appreciated my personality and loved all my quirks and my strange mind and how childlike I am. For the first time I felt understood. I wouldn’t change a thing. I was so closed off for so long and suddenly I was ripped open. Someone was asking for my time and attention and I had to give it to them. I was so scared but I really wanted to experience that side of life so I had to let those people see me and experience who I was. It was so good for me omg. I felt like my heart was shriveled and frozen before that, it had seen the sun maybe three times, but once that happened it absolutely bloomed. Not everyone has to fall in love to open their heart but for me that’s how it happened.
Anyway it was really intense and pushed me to the edge, dealing with that loss. I cut off all my hair. I just had enough. I was so drained. I had felt so vulnerable throughout my dating experiences, such a long period of trusting and hoping after so many years of doing the opposite, I guess I became a little over exposed. I pictured myself feeling tough and strong after a particularly intense weekend of fighting and I saw myself with no hair. It was kind of a crazy idea at first but it turned into a real desire. After a few days of thinking it over, I took the plunge.
What. A. Rush.
Suddenly I just wanted to feel alive. I went a little overboard but I did so many things. Concerts, road trips, bonfires, social plans nonstop, shopping, reinventing my style… I was really hurting during this time and I just wanted to feel better. I don’t regret doing so much but I’m glad I came down after a month and examined myself. I realized how much I was hurting and I faced it. I felt scared, hurt, abandoned, broken and vulnerable but it was comforting to identify that. Once you face it, you can feel it, release it and eventually let it go.
In October I realized I wanted more. I actually had dreams. Cutting my hair showed me I could have an idea, see it through and that it could actually go well! I wanted that on a bigger scale. I started writing again, all the time. I took an interest in my appearance again. Before, I just wanted people to think I’m pretty. Of course I still do but now it’s so much more than that. It actually is for me. When my outfit/makeup/overall look matches my mood, I feel so much more confident, comfortable with myself and ready to take on the day. Even in my work out clothes, I always try to coordinate them now and make them feel good because I know I just do more with my day when I feel confident and ready to put myself out there. You don’t need to look perfect AT ALL, in fact sometimes that can cause more stress because it puts more pressure on you. Just take the time to put yourself together and feel GOOD about what you’re wearing each day. It seriously makes a huge difference. And especially DO NOT wear anything that makes you feel bad. GET RID OF IT!!!! All your clothes should make you feel cute in some way.
Idk how this happened but I kind of just realized nothing is a big deal. The way I used to live, EVERYTHING was a HUGE deal. Texting a guy? Leaving the house? Spending 30 dollars? Calling someone first? All terrifying things I dreaded and avoided at all costs. I had to work through so much INTENSE anxiety when I first started dating, it was really sad how much that freaked me out and how much I had to work through just to get to a point where I felt comfortable going on one date or being the object of a man’s attention. I felt so incredibly unworthy.
Anyway, maybe it was the hair cut but sometime around then I just became really bold. Right now I feel like almost nothing scares me. My biggest fear is probably trusting people that have hurt me. That’s one thing I can think of that I’m struggling with and truly terrifies me, trying to rebuild broken relationships. I’m having help working through that. Other than that, there are so few things I won’t try, won’t pursue, won’t say to someone. I am becoming more bold, confident, comfortable in my own skin and sure of myself with each passing second. I just feel GOOD. Nothing is that big of a deal! Seriously force yourself to take more risks and you’ll quickly understand what I mean. You can spend weeks, months, even years fearing things and trying to predict what will happen but once you finally do them you’ll see just how unnecessary all that stress was. Nothing is that hard, that daunting, that permanent. Heck, even tattoos can be removed these days.
I think that was the biggest change of all so far: the removal of fear. Fear used to be the gas in my tank, it absolutely fueled me. Now it’s faith. I am so ON FIRE for my life!!!!!! I have so many exciting dreams I want to pursue, so much I want to create, so many places I want to go, things I want to experience, learn, master, people I want to meet and be around….. I love it all. I decide what I want and I go after it. I look at myself in the mirror and I smile. I’m starting to look as bold and unique as I feel. The long hair was beautiful and fun and maybe one day I’ll want it back but for now, it just feels too plain for how colorful and out of the box my mind is. I always used my mind a lot but I wasn’t exploring it much before. Now that I’m embracing my unconventional brain, I just want to express that openness and share it with the world.
Also I’ve noticed I’m getting disappointed comments from traditional, conformist men I never wanted to date anyway that used to love my hair 😂 so no offense but I was never interested in you anyway, there are soooooo many long haired women in the world you can comment on that you’ll probably never even meet but i’m just one less you need to worry about hahaha. All of the bold men that liked me before just like me more now. And I think it’s because I also like myself more! Confidence attracts confidence! I’m growing into the baller I was born to be and it’s just helping me attract more ballers 😂😂
Anyway, I feel so much more confident in myself, men or no men. It’s funny cuz I finally stopped worrying about guys and now I actually interact with them the way I always wanted to hahaha.
I no longer rely on the approval of others to get through the day. I no longer feel paralyzed by fear every morning and night. I no longer ponder whether I’m worthy of a date or not. I no longer look in the mirror and sigh. I no longer think of the future as a blurry grey blob filled with hopelessness, uncertainty and fear. I know it will be whatever I make it and I am going to make it freaking phenomenal.
That’s a huge key, putting YOURSELF in the drivers seat. Forget this message of victimization. You are the person holding yourself down but YOU can be the one to lift yourself up!!!! Wow I just got a huge craving for meat loaf and mashed potatoes. HAHAHA. Anyway, put yourself in control. Ask God for guidance. Trust that you are taken care of always because YOU ARE. Embrace yourself. Stop thinking you have to be perfect. Stop thinking you’re unlovable. Realize how cool you are and how much you have going for yourself. Jump in and try things. Stop thinking you have to be “ready”. THE LESSONS OF FAILURE ARE FAR MORE VALUABLE THAN THE PRIZES OF SUCCESS!!!!!!!!!!!
On that note, go kill it. Embrace yourself. Blossom. Live. Come alive. You got this 👊🏼💗


Mystic Messenger Mafia AU


Word Count: 1,473


     The small general store was quiet except for the sound of a young man’s broom sweeping across the floor and the faint echo of a radio playing from a backroom. The only customer was a tall man whom had been lurking a far aisle, his eyes scanning the various cans on the slightly dusty shelf while his left hand gripped his briefcase.

      The sweeping ceased at the sound of the bell above the door. The young man stood by the counter and watched as the man walked through the aisles, pausing to smile and handle random cans with a laugh. His finger swiped a shelf and he inspected the dust with a disappointed face. He wore an all black suit. A blood red kerchief was tied around his neck and his hat tipped on his head just enough to look sinister.

     “Go get your grandpa, kid,” he commanded and leaned an elbow on the shop counter while waiting, nodding once to the customer across the way.

     The boy dropped the broom and scrambled to the backroom to retrieve the old man. His slumped frame, followed closely by his grandson, walked slowly to the other side of the counter.

     “You don’t mind, right?” the man in black spoke it as more of a statement than a question. He reached over to a jar of suckers, unwrapping one and popping it in his mouth while flicking the wrapper onto the floor. “I’m very worried. I don’t see any money in your hands, and I gave you very clear instructions,” he explained.

     The old man’s face remained calm, but his grandson’s fists were balled at his sides. For a moment all three stood there staring at one another with only the faint but familiar jazz tune from the radio filling the space.

     “We are under the protection of Don V, we won’t be giving you any money,” the old man was stern, but he took an anxious breath to calm his nerves.

     The man in black pulled the candy from his mouth and let out a comical laugh for a moment, then his face became quite serious.

     “You’re making a big mistake, pops,” he pointed the sucker in the old mans face.

     “Hey! You can’t threaten my gran-“ the boy started, but the old man placed a hand on the boys shoulder to stop him from talking.

     “Whoah, whoah! Hey, it’s okay, kid…pops,” he nodded to them both, “I won’t be coming back. I get the message.”

     The man reached over to pinch and smack the boys cheek, then with a smirk he straightened the old mans collar and brushed off his apron before patting him on the chest.

     He tilted his hat to the customer before leaving. The man, after nodding back, set the briefcase on the shelf, making sure to click the lock before walking out empty-handed and entering the backseat of a black car that had been waiting for him.

     “What a fool,” the blonde woman driving said when she heard him close the door of the car.

     “Eh, place was a dump anyway,” the man in black said from the passengers seat with a sigh, “we’d never get any dough from that joint,” he sat back in the seat and lowered the hat over his eyes.

     “That’s not the point, Saeran,” she snapped, smacking the hat from his head before hitting the gas.

     “Hey, watch it,” he groaned and picked his hat back up, “I hate this city.”

     “Well, get over it. We’ll be running it, soon,” she replied.

     The man in the back turned to look out of the window as they drove away.

     “Should be any moment now,” he spoke, but neither of them in the front payed any mind to what he was saying.

     The explosion in the distance paired with the sound of shattering glass and rubble elicited screams from the people on the streets. They watched women, children, and men as they began to run in hopes of seeing what had happened.

     “Look at them, flocking like vultures to see the carnage,” Saeran hissed in disgust.

     “Let them look. I want them to see what happens when they don’t pay up,” she laughed.

     “Yeah, yeah. Can we stop somewhere? I’m fuckin’ starving, here,” he replied.

      “Christ,” Saeyoung’s face hardened as he heard the news.

     “Frank is waiting at the scene,” one of the soldiers explained before being waved off.

     He had been overseeing Jaehee’s team as they unloaded another shipment of bootleg into a warehouse. He leaned back on the car and pinched the bridge of his nose in silent thought and frustration.

     “Lucky, Kitty!” he called out, sounding harsher than intended.

     “Yes, boss?” Yoosung approached, winded but smiling, with you right beside him.

     “Frank’s waiting down by first street. Don’t ask questions, just go meet him. Report back to me right after, got that?” he ruffled Yoosung’s cap.

     “Got it!” he took off.

     You began to follow but Saeyoung tugged at your arm and pulled you back, causing you to stumble a bit on the pavement.

     “Lucky’s lucky, but, keep your eyes open…you’ll understand why when you get there. Be careful,” he warned.

     “I’m always careful,” you insisted.

     “Attagirl,” he let go, flashing a bit of a smile as you walked away.

     Yoosung had waited for you to catch up, and as you walked you wondered who Frank could be. And what was going on. You were both oddly quiet. Normally, you couldn’t get Yoosung to shut up. He still had that smile on his face, but the whole way there he only spoke to point out puddles, so you wouldn’t step in them.

     From far away, the damage seemed extensive. It only got worse as you approached, and anyone could see it was the work of a bomb. Aside from a few kids out to take a look at the wreckage, there weren’t many people in sight. Most had probably shut themselves at home in fear, you guessed.

     Down a nearby alley you saw the figure of a man in uniform waiting. His face became familiar the closer you got. His large belly, bulbous nose and reddish stubble on his face more apparent with the closing distance. You paused, your heart racing and your palms sweating. Frank…

     “Don’t worry! He’s on our payroll. That’s Lieutenant Frank,” Yoosung said when he noticed your hesitancy.

     You knew very well who it was. But did he know you? Would he recognize your face? You had always thought this son of a bitch was crooked. Damn, who else from the force would you come in contact with…this was way deeper than you had anticipated. You couldn’t wait to expose him for the scum he was.

     “Lucky! My boy, how’s the family?” he asked in a chipper tone.

     “Mom’s doing a little better. She actually got out of bed yesterday, started pointing out all the things that needed cleaning,” Yoosung smiled.

     “I bet your old man loved that,” he laughed, “glad to hear it. And…you seem familiar? When did we meet? I can’t quite remember your name,” his eyes narrowed in on you.

     “I’m going to go ask around, see if anyone saw anything,” you said through a lump in your throat before running off.

      You were careful of the glass that littered the street. It looked like they hadn’t been able to clean everything up yet. You kicked a few pieces of brick and wood shards, your heart sinking as you peeked into the empty space to survey the damage. It was littered with burned and exploded cans, a remnant of a broom close to your feet.

     “Hey, you,” you grabbed a young boy by the collar as he came running passed you, “did you see what happened here?”

     “Well, there was a car and-“

     “Louie!” a window flew open a few stories up on an adjacent building and cut him off, “come home, now!” she waved her rag in anger at him as she scolded.

      The boy ran home without another word and Yoosung appeared only a moment later, his face was white and his smile non-existent. For a moment you held your breath, waiting for him to say something. Say that he knew all about you, that he was going to tell the Mad Hatter.

     “What is it, Yoosung?” you tried to hide the quiver in your tone, “what did he say?”

     “He said they don’t know much about what happened. Everyone around here is too scared to talk. And…” he trailed off.

     “And what?” you pressed him.

     “Well. He doesn’t know who the guy is, but he says he is pretty sure. It’s really hushed over there and he is trying to find out more. He says…someone from the police force has worked their way into the family. He says we have a rat.”

Stress Relief - Wolverine x Reader (NSFW)

I currently have no life…For real, sent me your requests, I have a broken wrist and nothing better to do than write “x reader” things because I enjoy them.

Another piece with Logan, this time, he needs to relieve some stress. Totally NSFW by the way, fluff and SMUT yo. First one I write actually, so, sorry if it sucks. So, yeah, you know.


(My masterlist blog here :


When Logan came up with the idea of making a new school for mutants, you didn’t expect it to be that stressful. It had been quite some times since Xavier’s school for gifted youngsters closed. After the professor’s death, it just wasn’t the same anymore…But there were still kids all around the world in need of help. Kids that parents chased away, kids that were forced out of their homes, or kids that were just too powerful to take care of themselves without hurting anybody else. You agreed with your boyfriend, there was a need for a new school…Ororo and Kurt directly jumped in. They missed teaching as much as you. And eventually, you opened your own school. Jean Grey’s institute for higher learning. You didn’t really like the name, as you and Jean never seen eye to eye (probably because Logan used to be crazy about her, and that she was a bit jealous that he completely forgot his feelings towards her when you entered his life), but you thought it was a cute hommage nonetheless.

Logan and Ororo became headmasters, and you were happy that you’d declined the offer to be one, because it was Hell to take care of a school like that. You didn’t know how Professor Xavier did it all those years.

A particularly stressful day took you to Logan’s office.

On the door was a handwritten note stating : « Taking a break, fuck off !! ». You smiled at it, imagining Logan becoming very angry at whoever knocked on his door…Whoever but you.

You knocked.

-Can’t you fucking read !! I’m busy !

-Busy relaxing ?

Keep reading


What makes a story is really the obstacles between what you intend to do, and actually getting it done. For Josh and Donna, part of the obstacle was that she worked for him, and it would not have been appropriate. Then we had a lot of fun putting Donna on that rival campaign, and giving her new roles and responsibilities, and Janel certainly did a great job with those things. But I think we all had a feeling that the moment they get together, it had better be within weeks of the series ending, because the tension is what’s fun and exciting. - Eli Attie

anonymous asked:

Hey uhh... I don't wanna bother you...but... is it bad that I want to live despite not being worthy of living? I feel like I'm dying inside and I shouldn't be. I have an ok job,my family love me, and I have good friends... So why do I feel like if I died everyone would be happier without me? I've tried to find ways to "leave" but whenever I do I get scared and back down,then I yell at myself for being selfish for wanting to live.

no, buddy, thats not bad at all. thats a good thing. hang on to that. 

somebody once said that where there’s life, theres hope, and they were right. as bad and awful as things feel and actually are sometimes, as long as youre alive theres opportunity to get better, to be better. if you’re dead, there’s not. sometimes theres no explanation for feeling like garbage, you just do, and it sucks. 

i had an interesting discussion the other week with my therapist about being defined by what i do, not how i feel about myself. we talked about how it can be helpful to use the choices that you make to help define what kind of person you are. if you’re a person who thinks you’re bad, but who does good things, are you bad or good? externally, you’re a positive force in the world. thinking of the ways that i can and have improved the lives of the people important to me helps me fight that nasty voice that tells me the world would be better without me. (and being helpful to them makes me feel like less of a burden when i have to ask them for help. which isn’t a burden, really, but it makes me feel better about asking.)

and if there’s anything i know from having run out of chocolate, it’s that not having something you love never makes you happier than when you do have it. if your family loves you, they wont be happier without you. 

hold on to that strong, surviving part of yourself. feed it with good stuff. that’s how you can make it through to a better mental place. if you give in to the nasty, you’ll never make it to the nice. living is never selfish. 

man, this got a little heavy, sorry. i didn’t want to leave it unanswered, though, so here we are.  on a much lighter note, today i watched thor accidentally set a car down on his own foot, and i learned a bunch of swear words in asgardian. sometimes it’s the little stuff that makes me glad i’m still here, living life. 

Keith unintentionally spies on Lance in the training room  … (Part Three)

where the Blue Paladin is kicking ass. And Keith’s kind of mesmerized by it. Then he’s more than mesmerized — he’s freaking out because he’s actually kinda sorta into this brutally efficient soldier version of Lance.

(Part One Here) (Part Two Here)

Lance tilts his head at Keith, his rifle bayard sheathed and one hand coming up to run through the damp strands of his hair. “What was what?”

“All of … this.” Keith gestures helplessly to the now empty training deck. “Since when do you use my battle sims?”

“Since, uh, you started designing them?” Lance replies, sounding wary. “Um, was I not supposed to?”

“No, but, I made them … They’re meant to be hard, nearly impossible —”

“Ah, so you’re offended I actually managed to finish it?” Lance grins, and Keith half expects a fight to come out of this, but instead Lance says, without any bite to his tone, “Dude, maybe I’m not super ninja awesome badass with a blade, but I can hold my own. I’m sure I’m not nearly as —”

“You just beat my time by four minutes,” Keith blurts out.

Lance stops mid-sentence and stares. Keith shuffles his feet, ventures to take another couple of steps. He’s close enough to see how truly drenched with perspiration Lance is — to see the sweat dripping down from his temple, along the side of his face and then his neck … Which is not at all important or worth noting or whatever his brain was doing right now, damn it, stop.

“Wow, seriously? You’re serious right now?” And when Keith nods, Lance puffs out his chest and fist pumps. “Hell yes! You know what? I stand corrected, I am a super ninja awesome badass with a rifle, and I will take you down any day, any time, Red, you just —”

“How often have you been practising?” Keith asks, genuinely curious and also more than a little desperate to stop the boasting which was actually attractive, what the actual hell. “Because you did not just get that good today.”

“Huh, like, three or four times a week? More when we’re not on mission, or when you’re not in one of your moods that means pretty much no one can get in here until you’ve worked out whatever crawled up —”

“So whenever I’m not in here, you are,” Keith surmises, and somehow this bothers him. Maybe because instead of spending hours in here on his own, with only his demons for company, he could have been spending hours in here with the loudmouth Blue Paladin — that this seems the better option terrifies him, so he shoves down the thought, buries it in the furthest, dustiest, least visited corner of his mind.

“I’m not that obsessed,” Lance continues, wiping at his face with his now armourless hands. “I actually have other stuff to do — pester Pidge, play Jetpack Frozen Tag with Hunk, swap ridiculous weather stories with Coran — he is so totally fascinated by tornados. Apparently they were never a thing on Altea, which means they never would have had classics like Twister or Sharknado, and that’s a crying shame, let me tell you…”

“Lance,” Keith starts, then stops. Then he stares rather helplessly at the Blue Paladin, who has begun taking off pieces of the armour, making relieved little noises as he does so. 

“Yeah?” Lance is holding his gloves, vambraces, and his chest plate, which is probably the worse part, because the flight suit underneath is … “Keith, buddy, you’re being weird. Well, weirder. What’s up?”

“I was coming in here to train and you —”

“Uh-uh, no way, you are not training after you almost died, did die, you stopped breathing, jackass — only yesterday!” That Lance has the energy to be pissed at Keith is actually almost as impressive as everything else he did just a few minutes ago. “I’m not working my butt off here for you to just —”

And he abruptly snaps his mouth shut, his blue eyes impossibly wide.

Keith suddenly feels like he might have the upper hand, and he seizes the opportunity like a drowning man snagging a life preserver.

“You haven’t been practising for me to just … what, Lance?”

Author’s note: You know who’s bad at feelings? Keith. You know who I always have the hardest time writing about? Keith. You know whose POV I’ve written from the most? Keith.

I have a problem.

But it’s not the fabulous people that are following along with this random, spur-of-the-moment fic. *hugs* Thank you! And now, Part Four Here!

The division of L-Corp dedicated to charity and progress specifically aimed at improving the world is given a 55% budget increase and renamed the Spheer Outreach Initiative. The initiative creates thousands of jobs specifically aimed at homeless, released convicts, and others who struggle to stay afloat. They help alien and human refugees across the globe, they funnel money into local community projects to encourage self-sustaining economies. SOI helps train disaster relief workers and vastly improves the technologies used to fight global disasters.

And when they are awarded an Oslo Award for their humanitarian efforts abroad, CEO and noted humanitarian Lena Luthor will take the stage and deflect all praise from herself, thanking her employees who have worked tirelessly to make it happen, the community leaders and organizers who work every day to make their piece of the world a better place.

and finally, she’ll thank that wide-eyed twenty something she used to know, who could barely afford the garage he worked from let alone an actual lab, yet who still believed he had it in him to change the world. One of the dearest loves she ever had.

“He used to tell me his biggest fear was that he’d never get the chance to really make the world a better place,” she’ll say, and she’ll have to pause a moment to collect herself, “but I hope, wherever he might be, that he knows…,” her voice breaks, “that every good thing we do, every person we help… Every tiny step we take towards that brighter future we always dreamed about, all of these things are irrevocably linked to him. I wouldn’t be the person I am today had he not been in my life, and his heart and soul imbue our entire outreach initiative.

"I’d like to think he’s here, watching over us and mocking me for getting all weepy,” she earns a laugh from the audience while she swipes her eye, “but above all that, I’d like to say thank you, Jacky. We did it.”

And with that she leaves the stage to the echo of applause.

Take One

Take One: Scene One
[College Au! Taking an editing course with Christian]

As class came to an end your professor handed back your peer reviewed midterms. You honestly always thought peer reviewed was a fancy way of saying Your professor was too lazy to actually grade it themselves, but there were no complaints on your end. There was no way a classmate would fail you, they probably had the same anxiety.

Everyone was always lenient at peer reviews. Right?

“Alright Kids, remember to go over the discussion board, read the next chapter and start drafting ideas for the final” Professor Seo leaned on her desk, taking off her glasses. “Any questions?”

“Yeah, can I do a makeup midterm?” One of the kids in the back piped up.

She chuckled. “No make ups, but if anyone enters the film festival, that presentation will be used to replace their lowest grade, including a midterm. Next question?”

“Professor Seo, what is this?” you gasped turning over your paper.

“Is there a problem?” she raised a brow.

Keep reading

Surprise of the Year (M.)

Originally posted by jiyoongis

pairing  |  jimin x oc

word count  |  4.5k

genre  |  fluff  ,  smut

warnings  |  language? DDLG [daddy dom, little girl] , shower play

I woke up to the sun that was bright and seeping from behind my curtains; it was my birthday. I was planning to spend it with Jimin, at least I think, hoping he wouldn’t forget a day that meant so much to me, and hopefully, to him, too. He isn’t like that, he’s always there for me, even when he’s busy with his schedule, comebacks and tours.

Suddenly, my room’s door slams open wide and my best friend and leaps on my bed, screaming and jumping with excitement. “Come on, get up! It’s your birthday, we have so much to do!” Hyuna said with a massive grin on her face. Hyuna and I had been close for as long as I can remember, it had to be close to fifteen years by now. Nothing and nobody could separate the pair of us, she was the sister I never had, and I, her. We’ve been through everything together; through thick and thin, including the times when a close family friend of mine had passed and her parents were constantly fighting, we’re each other’s rebounds.

“Give me five more minutes.” I groan as I bury my face back into the cream coloured pillow and wrap myself around the blankets. “No, no you can’t. Tae and Jimin are almost here. Come on you lazy shit.” Before she left the room, her hands went to grab the corners of the quilt and threw them off of me and on the floor, leaving me shivering. I wanted to shout at her for leaving me in such a cold state, she knew I wouldn’t have bothered to get up to grab it now, but she had already fled.

Hyuna and Taehyung were, well, I’m not really sure what they are exactly. Everyone they ever meet always say the same thing; “you’re a cute couple”, and they always reply with the same “oh, no, no, we’re not together.”. I mean, anyone would think they were a couple by the way they do almost everything together, they way act towards each other, and even the way they look at each other. I’m still confused over why neither of them have actually confessed yet, Jimin’s the same, it being obvious the feel the same way.

“You better be up!” I heard Hyuna shout from downstairs, making me jump in a sudden fright. I knew what the consequences would be if I didn’t get up now; she would start to take things of mine away from me. I know it sounds like I’m a five year old or something, but some times I really do think that Hyuna is my mother. She’s always took care of me, always looking out for me.

I got up quickly after replying with a, “I am”, back downstairs, just loud enough for her to hear from the bottom of the stairs. Opening my dresser drawers, I decided on wearing a thin, but not too thin, white t-shirt and a pair of slightly ripped, blue jeans, something that wasn’t too hot for this weather but not something too revealing that I would start to shiver every two minutes.

Making my way down to the kitchen, I found Hyuna already here drinking her coffee in her favourite mug and scrolling away through her phone. “So,” I say while swinging my arms gently from one side to the other, making my way towards her carefully, “what are today’s plans?”

She stopped scrolling through her phone instantly, as soon as those words left my mouth, lifted her head up to make eye contact with me and gave me her oh-so-famous ‘creepy smile’. I raised my eyebrows a little in confusion, “What?” She giggled and dropped her head down low again, hanging from her shoulders, shaking slightly. “I bet you want to be with Jimin, huh?”

She knew me too well, of course I would want to be with Jimin today, in fact any day would do in all honesty. Being an idol wasn’t easy, for that person and their partner. They were away constantly for everything including tours and photoshoots, they were put under so much pressure for such young people. Right now, the group Jimin’s apart of, BTS, are on their first vacation in such a long time, probably a year, from their USA tour, just returning last night. I’m so excited to see him again, having not seen him in such a long time, and the timing so precise; he comes back the night before my birthday.

A slight blush crept onto my cheeks, my head hung low, I wanted to change the conversation before it got any worse. “Don’t you think it’s a little too early for them to arrive? They got here so late last night, they should sleep.” I’d much rather have them get enough sleep for them to actually function then come round here just to celebrate all day with me, they need to stay healthy for their fans.

“I agree with you, I do, but Tae said that Jimin has a surprise for you.” Saying this, she winked at me, smirked and bit her lip. My eyes widened, what did she mean? Was it supposed to be implied in that way? Or was she saying it like that for no reason, just to tease me?

We decided to wait in the living room until the boys came, flicking through the different channels until we found something worth watching. Little did we know, we would be waiting at least half an hour until they arrived, typical.

I heard the door open from the hallway, footsteps making their way in and voices calmly flowing throughout the house. We made the decision to give them both their own spare key to our apartment a couple years ago, near the time when we first moved in, to make our lives easier. We trust them so much to know that they won’t rob us, well, hopefully.

As soon as they turn around the corner and make their way into the living room, Tae skips his way straight to Hyuna, again, how are they not a couple already? Jimin, on the other hand, stalks calmly towards me, and as I stand up, hugs me. I can tell how much he missed me by how tight his hug was, and the duration of it, especially as we haven’t seen each other in so long. I bury my face in between his right shoulder and the crook in his neck, taking in his scent. Being able to inhale him, feel his warmth again, it made me feel at home, feeling alive again.

Much to my dismay, Jimin disbanded from the hug, but he never let go of me. He cupped my cheeks gently and looked me straight in my eyes, his brown owns sparkling like they used to, like I had missed. Smiling sweetly, he dipped his head down to meet mine and joined me in a soothing kiss.    

“That’s so cheesy!” We heard Taehyung yell jokingly from across the room, parting away from each other, Jimin looked annoyed at him. “Well, at least I’m not completely perverted every second I see my girlfriend” Jimin answered back, smirking slightly from the teasing. I looked at both of them to meet with their surprised faces, their cheeks starting to blush with embarrassment.

“We’re not dating!” Taehyung yelled back, being shoved mildly by Hyuna, laughing lightly. She got up and made her way to the kitchen, Taehyung following after her like the love sick puppy he is.

Once we were alone, Jimin turned to me and his smile appeared back on his face again. “I missed you so much.” He trapped me back in his hug again, “I missed you too.” I cooed back. Most people wouldn’t believe this if we told them, but we’re one of those couples who melt at the thought of being romantic; anything for those sweet memories.

“Happy Birthday,” He didn’t give me any time to reply as he had already captured me in a kiss. It was nice, just the two of us for a while. We hardly had any time to ourselves with Jimin being an idol, even when it’s just the two of us we have to be careful in public with the fans and paparazzi. They knew about our relationship, we had told everyone a few years back when we were comfortable with the idea, but it’s still too risky sometimes. There are times where even the fans can be dangerous, not all of them actually approving of us being together, their threats could turn real.

It was 11:00am now, and it still didn’t feel like my birthday, considering I had the whole day to do something, I’d much rather spend just spend five minutes with Jimin. I’d never been too fond of birthday’s, growing up with anxiety had it’s down side when it came to celebrations that were supposed to happy and enjoyable.

However, I still wanted this to carry on a little longer, remembering back to when Hyuna first told me this morning about Jimin’s ‘surprise’ for me, but I didn’t say anything to him, not wanting to sound to needy or greedy.

I heard a noise coming from Hyuna’s bedroom, turning my heads towards that direction, my eyes landed on both Hyuna and Taehyung leaving the room, wearing clothes and accessories for someone who was going out somewhere. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, “Where are you guys going? Aren’t we all going to hang out together?”

“Oh, we have some things to do and we just thought that you guys would rather be alone? Especially since he has ‘something’ for you.” She winked at the end, but that didn’t stop my mind from running to the thoughts of where they were going and what they were going to do. Maybe they finally accepted the fact that they liked each other?

I turned my head towards Jimin and eyed him suspiciously. “What? What have you done?” Knowing Jimin for so long had its advantages, too; I knew him so well. That being said, I could tell he didn’t want me to find out exactly what his 'surpirse’ was just yet, with the help from his glare towards Hyuna for even mentioning it.

Nevertheless, he thrilling smirk crept back onto his face, like it always would, and his eyes disconnected from Hyuna’s and locked on to mine. He really did have something for me, but what? What would be so big to hide? “Go ahead and put someone nice on, and then pack a couple things, like essentials, like you’d be leaving for a while.” I was confused to say the least. What is he up to?

I nodded in approval, eagerly wanting to know where we were going now, but before I could even move a couple steps away, Jimin grabbed my wrist softly as he brought his lips to my left ear. “Make sure you pack the 'things’ I like.” He whispered seductively, sending shivers down the back of my spine. I blushed and caught my bottom lip between my teeth, biting quite hard in order to suppress the moans that wanted to escape my lips. What was he doing to me?

Once he let go of me, I practically ran towards my room, this time I was the one embarrassed. He said he wanted me to 'pack essentials’, so that would be like the general clothing-wear for a typical woman, plus toiletries, but he also said he wanted me to pack the 'things he likes’. I knew what that meant instantly.

We started having casual sex about 6 months into our relationship, getting straight into it as soon as we were comfortable with each other and ready. However, 6 months after all that casual sex, he started to get into some 'foreplay’. I remember now, I was the one who had brought it up after seeing some videos about it on the internet, 'it’ being something called 'DDLG’, and, embarrassingly, it turned me on. After I had a very flustering conversation with Jimin about my, 'needs’, I found out that it turned him on too, making me even more sexually frustrated at the time. That was the first time he did foreplay in the bedroom, and I fucking loved it.

So, I realised, that the 'things I like’ was actually code for the baby blue lingerie he had bought me a while ago. I was definitely going to be taking these with me, even if he didn’t ask me to, he always took on the 'daddy’ role so well whenever he saw me wearing this.

A sudden slight noise came from behind that I wasn’t expecting. At first I just ignored it, treating it as though the wind had caused something to move lightly, but then it happened again. I turned around, and to my surprise, I found Jimin leaning his body weight against my door frame. I could tell by his smirk he was watching me this whole time.

Turing around fully now, I stood up straight and copied his smirk, “Are you going to help me, or are you just going to keep staring like that?” A quiet chuckle was able to break from his mouth as he hung his head low just a little bit. “Can’t I watch my beautiful girlfriend?” He comeback caught me off guard. Girlfriend. I can never get used to that word. Whenever it came from Jimin, it made my heart flutter, my palms sweat and my cheeks flutter red. He always knows how to make me feel like the only girl in world, how to make me feel special.

“Can you tell me where we’re going now?” I crossed my arms in anticipation, excited to know where he was going to take me, but all he did was shake his head, smiling. Fuck. Why can’t he just tell me? What’s so special that he can’t tell me?

“Come on, you ready to go?” I nodded my head as a response, eager to get going. He helped me carry my few bags to his car as we waved goodbye to both Hyuna and Taehyung, leaving them behind to be by themselves, hopefully going to be accepting their feelings for sure this time.

We hopped into his car, he staring driving and my heart started to pump faster as the seconds went bye, getting more and more excited. Passing the time, I started to think of all the places he could be taking me to; something that screams Jimin’s personality. My mind thought of just a quiet place, maybe a hotel or private cabin, even thought this isn’t something that would always scream Jimin’s personality, the way he was acting before we left left me curious, he turned into his 'daddy’ mode. Maybe we would just spend the night together? Whatever it is, I don’t care, as long as it’s with him.

My eyes fluttered open as I started to hear incoherent noises. We were at an amusement park. What? What were we doing at an amusement park? My head snapped to Jimin and I sat up in my seat, confused. “Did you just seriously bring me here?” I asked Jimin. As the words left my mouth, I regretted them; I started to sound as if I didn’t want to be here, when in fact I was really excited.

“Don’t worry, babygirl, this isn’t our only stop. I just thought we could have some fun?” He smiled before stepping out of the car, walking along side towards my door and opened it for. I see his hand floating, waiting for me take it, and I do.

We went on almost everything at this amusement park, going to every corner of the park. We tried some new things, things that we didn’t even think we’d like or knew exsisted, and just generally enjoyed each others company. This is what I really needed; a perfect birthday with the love of my life, and I could ask for nothing more.

By the time we had left the amusement and drove for hours and hours, it started to turn dark, the time ready 11:00pm. I kept falling asleep and waking back up every time we would go over a bump or have to stop abruptly thanks to the dickhead drivers on the road. Thankfully, in the end, I was able to get some peaceful sleep, no bumps, and no dickhead drivers, but something did wake me up from my sleep after a while, or rather someone.

Jimin was whispering sweet nothings in my ear, giving my gentle butterfly kisses to my cheek and my neck, slightly tickling me. “We’re here, babygirl.” He whispered one last time before stepping out of his car, leaving me almost breathless. He knows what that nickname does to me, that’s why he always uses it.

I giggle again and open my eyes fully this time, yawning lightly and rubbing eyes. Stepping out of his car, my mouth agape, eyes coming in to view with the most beautiful cabin I had ever laid eyes on. No other cabins or house were nearby, not even your regular mini shop, nothing. From where I was standing, I could already tell it was huge, maybe even more than two bedrooms, lights shimmering outside on the front porch, and a little fire was seen, peeping from the backyard.

I also noticed some a few other cars parked outside the front, too. So we’re not alone here? That would explain why all the lights are turned on on the outside and the inside. From the corner of my eye I could see Jimin looking down at me, smiling proudly while his arm snaked around my waist to hold me securely.

“Surprise.” He said as he kissed my cheek, I was still speechless, not having said anything since the last time I was awake at one of the many motorways. Breaking my silence finally, “What is all this?” However, I never got a reply, he just took my hand in his own and walking me towards the front door.

Once we stepped through, I jumped in surprise by the sudden burst of people, all screaming “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!”. Everyone was here; my friends, Hyuna, even the boys had taken their time to come here. Before I could thank everyone, Hyuna stalks up to me and hugs me tightly. “Happy Birthday, babe, I love you so much!” Her words made me slightly emotional, but in all fairness, anything could make me emotional.

This was all for me. All of it. Did Jimin prepare all this for me? All the boys came up to me to say happy birthday, too, and hugged me. I looked at my surroundings, wanting to know what everything looked like. Everything was so pleasing, they had cleaned up, made food for everyone, and decorated the whole place.

“Guys,” I had to pause for just a second, making sure I wouldn’t cry and look all stupid, “this is amazing, thank you so much!” Jungkook spoke up first, “You should be thanking Jimin, it was all his idea.” I smiled slightly, blushing, and my eyes met Jimin’s, although he was already looking at me.

The food was amazing, they had cooked all my favourites, and as the night was coming to the end, everything was running smoothly. This was definitely the best birthday I have ever had and will ever have.

It was time for everyone to leave, wanting us to finally have some 'proper’ alone time together. I turned towards Jimin after closing the door, “I’m going to put something more comfortable. I’ll be right back.”

Walking back to the living room after slipping into my comfortable lingerie and some night clothes on top, I saw Jimin lying on the couch watching TV, but paused it when he heard me. His eyes studied my body, his eyes moving up and down as the smirk crept on his face. “Thank you so much, for all of this. You really didn’t have to.” I took a seat next to him as he sat up.

“Hey, don’t be silly, I’d do anything for you. I love you.” He said as he took his hand in my own, embracing it. I chuckled, “How did you even get all the time to do this?”

“Why do you ask? It’s not even that important, especially right now.” He crept up and his face was now directly in front of mine. He was getting ready to kiss me. Our lips parted, “You’re too sweet.”

“You wanna know a secret?” I lifted my eyebrows in confusion and nodded. His hand rested on my left thigh and he looked seriously into my eyes. He paused for a second, before finally saying, “Never mind, I’ll just tell you later.” His smirk began to appear once again, recognising it straight away.

I couldn’t control myself by this point. After being away from him for months, and then suddenly being here with him surrounded by candle light as just the two of us, I couldn’t help myself. I went for it, and I kissed him. My stomach was screaming with excitement, I want to touch him and feel him.

He put his one of his hands on my waist and the other resting slightly on my ass, lifting me up and placing me gently on his lap, our lips never leaving the others. He then carried me up the stairs and bought me to the bathroom, why? Placing me on the counter, I asked him, “What are we doing here?” He seems almost breathless, he eyes screaming sex, “I’ve always wanted to try this.” He looks me up and down before smashing his lips to mine again.

His kisses were so passionate, like all the other times before, both hungry for the other. He bit my bottom lip, not too rough to hurt but not too weak to have me not understand. I knew what this action meant, like all the other times before, he wanted entrance to my mouth, and like all those other times before, I let him, his tongue darting into my mouth and exploring, liking and sucking, making me moan.

One of his hands traveled up to my bra and the other wrapping tightly around my waist again, bringing me even closer to him. “You look so cute dressed in these,” His smile disappeared and he turned dark and seductive, “,but I bet you’re even cuter without them.” He whispered in my ear and slid my clothes off and threw them where ever, not caring, along with his.

His actions made me so needy, I haven’t been able to touch him in so many weeks, months. My automatically went in the direction of his crotch, trying to undo his belt while he carried on kissing my neck. The belt was finally undone and threw onto the floor as he stopped his pleasing movements to be able to be free of his trousers, now only left in his boxers.

“Your turn, babygirl.” He grinned, beginning to slide my night shorts from my body. Once again, his lips crashed with my own and our tongues collided together, almost as if fighting for dominance. Both only left vulnerable in our underwear, steam started to emerge on the very few windows. Picking me up from the counter, placing both his hands underneath to secure me, he carried me towards the shower. The hot water sprinkled on suddenly, covering us both and making us wet. I’d never been in such a heated situation before, our bodies so close together so intimately. His small hands grabbed my ass cheeks and caressed them harshly, then smoothing them out to make sure I wasn’t hurt in any way.

Grabbing his waist I brought him closer to my own, a moaning mess. “Can I touch you already?” I whispered huskily into his ear, he seemed surprised by my sudden speech, but soon got over it as he smirked, again. I turned to my right slightly, my eyes landing on the counter I was once sat on, spotting a familiar packet; condoms.

“You have really prepared this, haven’t you?” He chuckled lightly, proud at my response. “Well,” he shrugged, “you know me.” Such an ass sometimes, I swear.

I pushed him up against the wall roughly and started kissing him as he grabbed my ass and started massaging. God, I needed this. Not having seen him in such a long time got me so needy, especially when 'this’ is normally part of our weekly routine, sometimes even our daily routine, that’s why we’re technically known as the 'horn dogs’; I wanted him so badly.

He flipped us both around so that I was now the one pushed against the icy cold wall, bending over and kissing down a line on my stomach, inching closer and closer to my sensitive area. He smirked against my inner thighs as he kept creeping closer and I let our a frustrated sigh, already impatient.

First, he began to tease the hell out of me, but thankfully, he started licking my clit as I shot my head, sending him pleasing moans. They were always his favourite, he loved it when I moaned so loud when all he had done to me was tease; that was my weakness. As time went on I got distracted, and he suddenly added two fingers inside of me, pumping in and out. I was shocked to say the least, definitely not expecting something like this so quickly, but I didn’t mind, I enjoyed it even more.

I began getting closer and closer to my ends but just as it begun, he yanked both his head and fingers away, leaving me cold, and stood up straight to bring me into a kiss. I could feel his harden member poking against my stomach and the top of my clit, I couldn’t help but whine impatiently. He looked up, almost shocked, and grinned, knowing how much I really wanted to feel him. He was the same, too, he couldn’t wait as he put the condom on like lightning and set himself in front of my entrance.

He entered me harshly and without warning, earning a loud moan from my mouth, making me feel so good. He didn’t bother to wait for me to get used to his size as he started moving fast in and out of me, playing with my breasts, knowing how much it turned me on. I couldn’t hold back my moans, it wasn’t possible, but before I could make another, he pulled out and I looked at him confusingly.

“Turn around, babygirl.” He ordered and I did exactly what I was asked to. As I turned as fast as I could, wanting to feel more, I was able to feel his hardening member poking my back, my hands smacked flat against the steamy wall. He then entered me again, thrusting much faster then he did the last time, both of us a moaning mess. I was glad no one was nearby, no neighbours especially, or they definitely would’ve heard everything happening.

Just a few more thrusts later we both came undone, panting hard and he pulled out and I collapsed against his figure behind me. Jimin was exhausted, too, as he carried us both to the master bedroom and covered us both with blankets, kissing my forehead and cuddling up to me.

5 Times Nursey & Dex Slept in the Wrong Bunks

And one time it didn’t matter.

NurseyDex, 4300 words, rated Mature, here on AO3

Welp, I finally gave into the temptation to write a little NurseyDex fic! I just love these two dorks so damn much, and I couldn’t resist the possible implications of the dib flip. Please direct all complaints to @exhuastedpigeon, who encouraged this whole mess. (But IN ALL SERIOUSNESS, thanks to Hannah for being the best ever enabler/cheerleader.)

“You sure you don’t wanna beer?” Nursey asks. He stretches off the bed to waggle his can in front of Dex’s face, but he just bats it away with an irritated huff.

“Fuck off,” he bites. “I have an exam at 8 am, and I need to finish this so I can actually get some fucking sleep.”

He shrugs and leans back against the wall, stretching his legs across Dex’s bed. Nursey won the top bunk during a coin flip—Bitty’s joke about the chances of another stuck coin was not appreciated—but much to Dex’s chagrin, he’s often too lazy to climb all the way up there when he’s doing homework or whatever. Dex prefers working at the desk, anyway, so it works out. And actually, the whole sharing a room thing is going better than most people had anticipated. They still give each other shit about pretty much everything, but they weirdly work pretty well as roommates. They’re both still alive, at least.

A sudden shout from somewhere in the Haus startles Nursey, and he jerks, spilling a good portion of his nearly-full beer can all over Dex’s bed.

He freezes, sucking in a breath as he stares down at the wet sheets. Okay, so he’s probably not gonna be alive for much longer. Well, it was a good run.

Finally, he glances up. Dex looks murderous, and Nursey can’t hold back his grimace.

“Nurse!” he yells, banging his hand against the desk. “What the fuck! I just said I have to go to bed early, and—”

“I’m sorry!” he interrupts, a lot louder than he meant to. It works, though, because Dex shuts up, his eyes wide. “It was a shitty thing to do, but it was an accident. I’ll wash your sheets and you can sleep in my bunk, okay?”

Dex opens his mouth, still looking surprised, but nothing comes out. Nursey turns away, carefully moving his books off Dex’s bed so he can strip the sheets. At least the beer doesn’t seem to have soaked into the mattress too much, thank god—as much as they live in a frat house, basically, Nursey would prefer if their room didn’t smell like it.

By the time he comes back to their room, just to get a book to read while he waits for the laundry to finish, the lights are out and Dex is sprawled across Nursey’s bunk, fast asleep on his stomach with one hand dangling just over the railing. It’s weird like it always is to see him asleep, quiet and calm like he never is when he’s awake, his big body stretched out in a relaxed slump.

Flushing, Nursey averts his gaze and rummages on the desk for his book.

Read the rest on AO3!