As a very serious adult, with a respectable career and life, and a healthy ability to let petty shit slide, I spent much too much time last week arguing with strangers on the internet who believe in the myth of the Dark Ages.
The arguments in question focused on a massively inaccurate meme, which some observers of the group pointed out was originally supposed to be about knowledge loss after the burning of the Library of Alexandria, but which some very cool EDGE LORD had changed to be about ‘The Christian Dark Ages’. Please feast your eyes on it in all it’s massive wrongness:
This is, pretty obviously, a bunch of honkey bullshit and also massively incorrect, as many important scholars have noted. As a result, I spent hours of my life – which I will never get back - pointing out repeatedly that the ‘graph’ in question has nothing to do with reality, and arguing with non-experts about the medieval period.
For the most part – these people were well-meaning. Many pointed out that this was a very Euro-centric world view, and that Asia, Africa, and the Arab world were all making huge advancements in scientific and medical theory at this time. That is absolutely true. White people have never been the entire world. The Chinese had a massively advanced scientific culture by this time, for example, and had been holding it down with hermetically sealed research laboratories since the third century BCE. The Arab world, meanwhile was compiling treatises on eye surgery. Scientific advancement was something that was happening in this period. Europe is not the centre of the world.
Having said that, while it is important to acknowledge that the-rest-of-the-world was making huge strides in scientific advancement during this time, and that Europe and white people are not the entire world, nor responsible for all of human advancement, there was no such thing as the Dark Ages in Europe either.
While everything about the idea of the Dark Ages is incorrect, lets start off with the way the term was meant to be used. The totally ignorant graph above, unsurprisingly, is completely fucking off. Hilariously, the idea of the ‘Dark Ages’ actually originated in the medieval period itself. Petrarch – the poet laureate of fourteenth-century Rome - was actually the originator of the idea that there was a period of stagnation that Europe was moving out of. Petrarch had a political axe to grind. He considered that any point at which Rome – where he lived and worked and had considerable sway – did not completely dominate the world was a BAD TIME. This is not an unbiased assessment of world history.
The actual phrase ‘Dark Ages’ itself derives from the Latin saeculum obscurum, which Caesar Baronius – a cardinal and Church historian - came up with around 1602. He applied the term exclusively to the tenth and eleventh centuries. However, and very significantly in his use of the term, Baronius was not decrying a state of scientific malaise, or a particularly turbulent political period – he’s talking about a lack of sources surviving from that time. Indeed, Baronius sees the cut off point for the dark ages to be the Gregorian reforms of 1046, following which we see a massive increase in surviving documentation. Witness an actual useful chart:
When we move into a period where there are more texts to be considered, Baronius argues, Europe moved out of the period of darkness and into a ‘new age’.*
Now this is some real talk. As you can tell from that graph, during the Carolingian Renaissance of the ninth century, we see a flurry of Latin writers emerge, and a lot of text copying. This drops off again until what we term the Twelfth-Century Renaissance – home to this blog’s favourite philosopher/proto-Kanye – Abelard. (Shout out to my boy.) However, when people use the term ‘Dark Ages’ now, they usually use it to talk about the entire millennium of the Medieval period, and they aren’t talking about source survival. They aren’t thinking ‘dark’ as in ‘occluded’, they are thinking ‘dark’ as in pejorative.
We can thank the Enlightenment historiography for the expansion of the idea that the medieval period was a bad dark time. Kant and Voltaire in particular liked to see themselves as a part of an ‘Age of Reason’ as opposed to what they saw as the ‘Age of Faith’ of the medieval period. To their way of thinking, any time that the Church was in power was a time of regressive thinking. The Middle Ages, then, was a dark time because it was so dominated by religion.
The first push back against the term dark ages began with the Romantics. After the, um, unpleasantness of the Reign of Terror, and the major cultural and environmental upheavals of the Industrial Revolution it became fashionable to look at the medieval period as a time of spiritual focus, and environmental purity. Obviously this is a super-biased way of looking at the period – just like it was biased for Enlightenment thinkers to take one look at the primacy of the Church and declare an entire millennium to be bad. I mean, really what the Romantics were doing was just casting shade on the Enlightenment historiography because they felt like it inevitably led to the guillotine. But what can you do?
By the twentieth century historians had moved on from the idea pretty much completely. If you take the time to actually, you know, study the medieval period, it becomes very apparent very quickly that there was a tremendous amount of intensive thought happening. This is the era of Thomas Aquinas – a bad ass philosopher who will think you under the fucking table. Of Hildegard of Bingen – who basically founded scientific natural history in the German speaking lands. Hell, like we talked about last week Rogerius and Giles of Corbeil were throwing it down for major medical advancement. There was a lot going on. On the real, without the contributions of medieval thinkers you would not get Galileo, Newton, or the Scientific Revolution. The medieval period was not a period of stagnation, it was a time of progress.
But it’s not just that the idea of a ‘Dark Ages’ makes no sense when you look at what incredible advancement was happening at the time, it also makes no sense because it implies that stuff was going really well under the Romans. We estimate that somewhere between thirty to forty percent of the population of Italian Rome were slaves. The Romans had total bans on human dissection, meaning that there was no real way for medicine to progress any further than it had by the time of collapse – a problem that medieval people didn’t have. I mean even if you just want to make it about religion - the Roman Empire was Christian at the time of its collapse and had its heads of state worshipped as LITERAL GODS during the pagan era. Somehow every edgy motherfucker with a fedora is totally cool with this and thinks it is super reasonable though. Because ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. The Romans were not a bunch of really awesome people living a life of idealised rationality any more than medieval people were all ignorant savages living in fear of God.
Is there a time that historians use the term ‘Dark Ages’? Yeah, we do use it to talk about source survival rates. It’s not a term we use as a value judgment, however. We just mean that we don’t have a lot of evidence to go off of. By the same token – if we somehow move on to another electronic format without converting the way things are stored now, we could be moving into a theoretical Digital Dark Age, where historians in the future won’t be able to study what we are writing now. (And that would be a tragedy, because legit, I would kill to be a historian working on Donald Trump’s tweets in the year 2717.)
We’re now moving away from using the term Dark Ages at all, however, because of the frequency with which it is misinterpreted. I mean, if every basic motherfucker out there who never bothered to read God’s Philosophers (hat tip to James Hamman – this book is amazing) will insist on willfully misinterpreting us, we just ain’t gonna give them the ammo.
What it comes down to is that the medieval period was as vibrant as any other period of history. If you’re going to player hate, go ahead, but please don’t act like you know anything about either medieval or ancient history when you do. There is no period of rational supermen followed by ignorant monsters. There are just people doing their best in the circumstances.
* Caesar Baronius, Annales Ecclesiastici Vol. X. (Rome, 1602), p. 647. “Novum incohatur saeculum quod, sua asperitate ac boni sterilitate ferreum, malique exudantis deformitate plumbeum, atque inopia scriptorum, appellari consuevit obscurum.”
Nettie is eating ice cream. The cold burns against her silver incisor, but feels good against the small cut inside her mouth she’d gotten last week. It’s an even trade.
Nettie is all about even trades.
Most think that they liked to be paid in money. Old money, sure, gold and silver that doesn’t have the same sort of inflation risk as paper, but that implies that they have something to spend it on.
No, Nettie’s maybe the only one who knows what sort of things monsters like to be paid in and is willing to provide it. Which is why she’s sitting in the middle of a park at 3 am waiting for her contact to arrive.
At 3:03, her contact’s preferred meeting time, the fog rolls in. Nettie rolls her eyes as it creeps through the sparse trees ahead of her, turning the grass silver under the moonlight with precipitation. So dramatic and not at all secretive. Her eyes flick up to the security camera mounted on the lamppost across the street. She wonders when the government will admit they see monsters at night. She hopes it’s not in her lifetime.
That’d be bad for business.
The outline of a tree several yards away from her begins to waver. It looks like someone might be behind it, a darker band appearing around the trunk as if someone is hugging it. Then they’re gone and the same wavering, black shadow appears behind a tree several feet ahead of it.
Nettie watches and eats her ice cream, glad that her leather jacket is hiding the way her arm hair is standing on end. She’s never been the type to hide her fear.
Then she met beings who enjoyed it.
A dark pool in front of her widens, the shadows twisting upwards. She calmly takes a bite of the cone as the shade forms, the shadow creature not stopping until it’s reached its full height at seven feet.
She feels the sensation of pumice in her mind and frowns. “Gren? Where’s Mandy?”
The shadow figure ripples, for once not kicking up a fuss at her nicknames for them. An orange light flares briefly in what one might assume was its hand but she knew to be its mouth.
(2011) Homestuck as a general phenomenon was very active and developed at a very swift pace from the time it was published (2009) onwards, especially in 2012-2013, including and past the first years of the Homestuck Kickstarter Project, a.k.a Hiveswap.
Between 2009 and 2012, Homestuck as a webcomic was infamous for updating daily, constantly, multiple times a day, at all hours, for years. There was a remarkable cold calculated average that Homestuck updated 5.5 pages per day, dropping entire bundles of updates of character interaction and plot reveals frame by frame, posted as fast as Hussie could write it. Though it wasn’t immediately obvious, this pace was literally sleeplessly breakneck, Hussie allegedly didn’t do anything but live, breathe and dream Homestuck for at least four years straight. I’m serious when I say updates came at all hours. I would wake up 2am on a week night and idly check MSPA to see if there was a new update, sort of like a trained parrot. Then in five minutes I’d tab back over to the Homestuck tab and refresh, just in case.
This lead to an phenomenon appropriately dubbed “upd8 culture,” which became the basis of the sheer evangelical furor people still associate with the Homestuck fandom. Quick history: MSPA fans originated and migrated over from the Penny Arcade forums, Reddit, and 4chan to nestle permanently within the bowels of 2011 - 2013 tumblr, and were best described from a distance as ‘zealous.’ Even remembering it now almost feels remembering a distant riot. If you didn’t cosplay, write up a detailed theory post, or scribble up a crazy level of appropriately detailed fanart within 10 or so minutes any given upd8, you were buried under the force of post overload and were officially late to the party. Even after years of this, fans had some idea of just how dedicated it came off of, which spurred on fandom and made Homestuck into the most meme filled in-joke community you could possibly imagine.
What’s frustrating about describing Homestuck and Homestuck fandom is they both heavily affected each other and were both unique phenomenons within themselves, which makes actually trying to get across the atmosphere and of the early 2010s a really a wordy process. I could tell you Homestuck heyday updates regularly crashed tumblr servers, which became an actual funny fake rss way of seeing how much the plot progressed that day, or could have been because tumblr servers even in 2011-2013 were not very robustly programmed. I could tell you Homestuck dominated tumblr to the point it had a virulent hatedom of people who had never even read it and constantly saw it and never understood what was happening in it, and everyone else couldn’t stop themselves from chattering about it all the time. One thing that has to be noted is all this continual bickering and movement and development and competitive content production was honestly fun as hell.
Popular fan theories had multiple fanfictions written on them just to better explain what might happen, and reoccurring fanart traits and fanfictions were constantly being corrected, updated, and replaced by a deluge of new information and characters to pore over every single detail with a fandom magnifying glass. Canon and fanon both directly pulled from each other, especially in the small details. I don’t know how many hyper ambitious fandom projects, games, animations, multi media fanstories were abandoned for new starts JUST because the information they were working off became too outdated. There were always running projects of painstaking collaboration of organizers, voice actors, programmers, artists, writers, etc. I think some fanventures are still doing that to this day, and back in 2012 there was the exciting happenstance of the Homestuck Shipping Olympics, which was overwhelmed with applications for the years it ran.
As even a casual reader, you just read the upd8 and threw everything you had out there for scrutiny until it was kind of clear what could be scoured from the newest upd8, for your own rigorously interpreted and analyzed theory and making posts about it. What constant updates to canon meant in conjunction with Hussie’s oddly accurate tabs on fandom theory was you had to do whatever you were doing fast, or you would be outdated, wrong, inaccurate, or irrelevant at some undisclosed unspecific time, very soon. As the fandom grew bigger and younger Hussie seemed to shade more politic in his fandom communication, but it still always felt like an “open channel” call and response between fandom and comic, at every second.
Another aspect feeding upd8 culture was in the actual writing and content of Homestuck. One thing Homestuck didn’t lack for was constant barely solvable mystery. Part of my extreme willingness to take part in Homestuck fandom was that Homestuck was so crammed to the brim with open ended creative potential, just the cool ideas and plot mechanics and vivid characters presented with actually innovative framing that had really good ideas and existed literally nowhere else, and I say that as a huge sci-fi fan. Time travel in Homestuck was excellent. It was an ambitious story and I really do think it pulled it off.
There were also factors of style, innovation and novelty that I think affected the diversity of fan output. Even small things like the definition of a “page,” or even a “webcomic” became malleable within Homestuck. A page could range from single static scribble gif image to a 3 hr fully programmed rpg or 18 minute asset heavy style swapping animation, or most commonly, sprite art followed by several hundred words of dialogue and character interaction. Pages came by different artists, different styles, different mediums, different paces and focuses, but with a breadth-spanning understanding of the internet. Homestuck was once described as the fossilized excrement of someone’s personal creative experiments, and I can’t help but think that’s a good way of putting it. Innovation and excitement teemed off the page, and straight into a staggeringly wide variety of fanfiction and art, in style, content, theme, and pov.
Lastly, Hussie had a tendency to canonize fan content and hire fanartists and fananimators if their output was solid enough with a gentle horse kiss of approval and a naturally internet-transparent hiring process and the assumption people understood internet courtesy, like a forum. This was a purposely fostered atmosphere in the spirit of experimental adventure, and was just fucking nuts. Fans never wrote the story, but they did heavily influence aspects of how it was told and where it went (by design, fans were pretty much involved in making the comic) and even get to actually flesh out the details, like the main character’s names, memes, romances, character, and scope. Everything from canon sprite art to Caliborn’s character to Calliope’s art skill to music and trickster arcs were all originally based on years of fan jokes and fanon. Homestuck was definitely Hussie’s sole property and precious baby, but it was always kind of built on top of the assumption of freeform rap battle with the fandom. It added an extra layer of galvanizing egging on to fandom purpose. I don’t know how else to explain everything that came of it. Fandom was like a roiling morass of bullshit activity, we were like a freaking breaking news bullpen, there was so much energy sparking off of all facets of fandom because it was just so fun. Fan output was borderline insane in 2010-2013.
Hussie said fandom grew exponentially at the introduction of the Trolls in Act 5 in mid 2010, but I can honestly say I think fandom really started treating Homestuck like a hidden gem worth prosetelyzing right after the events of [S] Cascade at the end of 2011. Before then, Homestuck was tenuously good, and had a rep on tumblr for having weirdly ubiquitous fans and over- detailed fancontent, but [S] Cascade was the moment every single gamble asked of the reader in the story actually paid off. A puzzle clicking into place. In fact, Homestuck’s plot was generally constructed to climax at [S] Cascade, as was apparent from the big explosion of fan reaction after the fact.
<Hopefully I’m doing this right and it isn’t too terribly long…>
The humans don’t talk about the Fair Folk they notice, so none of them seem to think about the ones that don’t reveal themselves. We don’t exist - never have, never will.
I’m one of the younger Fair Folk at only 87 years old. My abilities lie in shape-changing and glamours, and I like to blend into the background. Because of this I can ensure that my features are normal; I have the proper parts - no more or less, and my hair and eyes are a perfectly normal brown and green respectively. In short, I look like a normal human girl. I guess that’s why the actual human girl felt comfortable approaching me. I’d been sitting in the library reading when she walked right up to me and introduced herself. “Hey, I’m Melody. What are you called?” (No one ever asks what your name is. Answering truthfully would be as unwise as lying. It’s one of the first “customs” that incoming students learn about.) “I suppose I’m called Siné.” I don’t know what to think of this bold, blue-haired, dark-skinned girl. Her eyes are a lovely shade of blue-grey. “Neat name. So what’s your major? English somethin’?” She gestures toward the book I’m holding. It’s Shakespeare and I’d been considering Taking it for my collection. Instead of answering, I shrug. She seems to think that I’m a student, and I’m certainly not going to correct her. Rather than getting suspicious, she takes it as a yes. “That must be fun! I’m a double major in the arts - Music Theory and Creative Writing.” Interesting. Such a clever and creative mind she must have… “You write and you compose?” “Yeah…” She blushes. “It’s really fun but also really stressful. Especially here.”
In the end, we talk until the library clocks have moved forward several hours. The clocks outside have probably marked less than 45 minutes since she introduced herself.
(“Why did you come over anyway?” - “It’s been hard settling in. I’m from southern Louisiana, so I don’t know anyone here. Everyone else is too scared of the… forest… to talk to strangers, but you don’t seem to mind.”)
She invites me to her room when the librarian starts glaring at us.
(“I need feedback on my latest piece. How do you feel about the fiddle?” - “It’s a lovely instrument and I’d be honored to hear you play.”)
I was right, she is very creative. The Shakespeare is back in the library, but some of her sheet music goes missing. The other Fae try to find her, but her room is blocked from Their sight. They’ll just have to be content with listening. That night, I enroll as an English major and arrange to be roommates with her. Melody’s original roommate gets moved to another building. The humans assume I’m a late transfer, and the other Fae don’t care.
Eventually, she learns enough of the Rules to understand why she still can’t find her music, no matter how hard she looks. After that, it all gets locked inside a hawthorn box with an iron lock within a circle of salt. She tells me this while complaining that she worked hard on that music and it’d be nice if They’d at least left a note or something. The next morning, she finds a politely worded and complimentary letter on her desk. It has no signature. The music is not returned.
Months pass while we grow closer. I go everywhere with her; we have writing classes together (I try to see what she writes, but the angle is bad), and I wait outside her music classes (at least I can listen to her play). When she goes to a party, I’m always by her side. She dances sometimes, and I’m always watching. Eventually she stops going to parties. One night she shares her stories with me and I have to fight the urge to Take her as I listen to grand tales of adventure and magic. It’s good that she wears enough iron to stop me. The other students start to notice that we’re inseparable. So do the Gentry.
The Fair Folk never stopped looking for the musician whose performances hold the entire campus in awe of their beauty. They just could never find her until they saw how I favored Melody. After that, it was a simple matter for them to peel back my protections and confirm their suspicions. I should have Taken her while I had the chance. I would have taken care of her, given her anything she wanted in exchange for her creations. The students aren’t surprised when we both disappear one night.
It’s easy enough to find Melody. She’s inside a golden cage in front of the entire Court of Underhill. A Fae made of sharp edges and glitter is using her like a puppet, forcing her to play. Their magic shines like silver threads as it wraps around her hands. I’m about to act when Melody speaks. “Are you happy with this? Because this is all you’ll ever get from me again. Old music, old tales. I’ll give you nothin’ new while I’m trapped here.” Her hands keep moving, but it’s obviously only by rote. The Fae tilts their head. “I could just kill you.” A string of magic twitches toward her mouth before disappearing once more. “You could. Why should I care? If I stay, I’m dead no matter what.” I couldn’t be prouder or more scared. This could set her free, or it could get her killed. If this goes wrong, I’ll just have to step in like I’d been planning. “Aren’t you scared?” The Fae rests fingers like knives around her throat. “You’re in mortal peril. Don’t you want to live?” The only thing keeping her alive is the curiosity of Fair Folk. “Course I wanna live. But I’m not going to get to if I stay. You’ll make me a caged bird; you already have. This’ll kill me as sure as anythin’ else.” Her eyes stay open and unafraid. With a hiss, the Fae steps back. “You aren’t willing to bargain for your life then?” “I’m not willin’ to bargain for my death, but I’ll stay where you can hear me if you send me back unchanged. That’s my bargain and it’s the only one I’ll make.” The Court titters. Minutes tick by as I hold my breath waiting for the Fae’s response. The Court starts shifting - some impatiently, some uneasily. Then, just as I start to think the deal has been rejected - “I find these terms acceptable.” I step out of the shadows to guide her back home.
When we come back, there are whispers. They’re shocked that we came back the same as we left; that we even returned at all. Some speculate that we tricked our way out, others that we were never with the Fair Folk at all. No one thinks that it was sheer stubbornness and determination that saved her, or that we weren’t together wherever we were. Melody never asks why it took so long for the Gentry to find her in the first place, nor how I knew the path from campus to Court. She knows, and all she says is that if I ever try anything she’ll never speak to me again. I accept her bargain, because what else can I do? Our days return to normal, except the Fair Folk are all terrified of her now. They address her as The One That Got Away, and when she passes by the lesser Fae bow and the Gentry simply nod. Once she loses her iron rings after a shower. For the entire week it takes to find them again, none of the Fair Folk risk being seen by her.
When I finally ask why she was willing to trap herself at the University when she was so against being trapped at the Court, her response is simple. “I was already plannin’ on bein’ a professor here.” She grins toothily, “I just made them think they got the better end of the deal while giving up nothing.” My collection is now in our room so she can be the centerpiece. I don’t want to Take her anymore; she’s already mine.
Oh boy. I’m guessing that means you also don’t know PDOC about Fifty Shades of Plaid and The Devil’s Sporran either then.
Hello, welcome to the crack that is going to be my literary career, this post will be your guide.
Hunger Pangs you likely know about but here’s the origin post where @jeneelestrange straight up altered the career path of my life.
I’ll keep Public Displays of Confection short, but basically I came up with the pun and liked it so much I decided to turn it into a w/w romance about two bakers who fall in love while competing in a wedding cake contest. It’s so sweet it might actually give you diabetes. (Small humorous extract)
A Highlander’s Tail started because @thestarfishdancer is a horrible enabler and I couldn’t help from shitposting in response. Somehow I ended up being convinced I should write a thing called A Highlander’s Tail. The vague plot outline I have so far features a Scottish werewolf who becomes a retainer for a young English woman who is brought to Scotland after marrying her much older (also English) husband. (A common trope in awful American written Scottish romances.) As with most old Scottish houses however, there’s rumors abound of ghosties and goblins and things that go bump in the night. Which is absurd of course. They howl.
Cailean Glenn—our resident werewolf, does his best to make her feel welcome in his own gruff way, but when her marriage starts to flounder and she starts straying farther and farther from home as a means of distraction, he realizes the secret of the (fictional) town of Braedhuin may be at risk of exposure.
There’s all sorts of shenanigans and romantic guff, as well as fun little absurdities like were-sheep who herd themselves and win national prizes. As per @deliriumsetin‘s wishes Cailean’s best friend is a plucky Irishman,
Ruaidhrí, who seems to own an Irish setter who is often conspicuous by his absence. The setter is a downright friendly fellow though.
The Devil’s Sporran is a lighthearted contemporary romance spurred on after an article denouncing romance literature as basically sin, used the hilarious phrase “Shirtless Satan” to describe men in kilts. Some people wanted it to be the actual Devil, but for now he’s just an ordinary good looking man with a smile that can make you think very bad things.
The main focus is on Kate, an American who is the maid of honor to her college bff’s wedding to be held in Scotland where both her and her beau are from. As the maid of honor she gets introduced to all kinds of quaint traditions she’s never before encountered which you don’t really have to deal with in America. Like trying to find a real silver sixpence, taking the bride out around the town on her Taking Out, the whole kerfuffle with trying to find matching dresses for three vastly different shaped women, and realizing at the last minute she’s expected to pick out a tea set for the bride despite being a coffee drinker her whole life, and what the fuck is the difference between Wedgwood and Denby. And then there’s the groom’s best man Donnie…she feels someone should have warned her about him:
“What are you doing in here?” Kate demanded, scrabbling to cover herself with the ugly tartan shawl despite being fully dressed.
“I was next door,” Donnie informed her, eyes darting over the length of her, “looking at scabbards. Are you all right? You sounded upset.”
“I’m fine!” She protested, but even to her own ears it sounded shrill. Her shoulders slumped, defeated. “I can’t get out of this stupid dress. There’s too many buttons and the assistant has apparently run away and I can’t breathe.”
Donnie chuckled easily and the sound went curling straight down to Kate’s bare toes, hidden under the length of her skirt. It was offensive how charming this particular Scotsman could be, especially given how effortless he made it seem. She was almost certain she’d have hated anyone else for it.
“She’s helping a bride,” he informed her, “I heard crying so you’re on you’re own for a while. Let me?”
The question was so unexpected and softly spoken it threw her off guard, and Kate found herself compelled to turn as he stepped further into the changing room, pulling the curtain closed behind him. She’d half expected to be manhandled by rough hands, surprised when he began freeing her from the confines of the bodice with the utmost of gentleness.
“There now,” Donnie intoned soothingly as the dress began to slip away from her shoulders. “All better.”
“Thank you,” Kate murmured, drawing in shuddering breath, the ghost of his fingertips still hot against her spine.
“You look lovely, by the way, very,” he smiled tightly, catching her eye in the mirror, “honorable.“
Kate snorted, and moved to hold the bodice in place against her chest, aware that a good portion of her naked back was now exposed to him. “I’m supposed to look like the bride. Some tradition about keeping the Devil away.”
“Hmm,“ Donnie hummed, the silk of her skirt trailing through his fingers as he leant in, smile broadening into a roguish grin over her shoulder. “Tell me, Kate, do you think it’s working?”
Fifty Shades of Plaid started out again as a humorous shitpost when I was being salty over how Scottish history is often romanticized to make us look like tragic heroes, rather than the victims of class oppression, and cultural warfare.
It’s since turned into a serious novel which follows the standard Scottish romance style but is actually a visceral denouncement of the whole trope of Scottish romances written by outsiders with little to no regard for our heritage beyond “men in kilts look good” (a lighthearted sample).
It’s the story about a wealthy weaver and his daughter acquiring land in Scotland, after buying out a weaving town, intending to produce the cloth for much lower wages, and selling it at a far more expensive price on the Royal Mile in Edinburgh after it became fashionable to wear again in 1822 after King George IV felt like playing dress up, despite the kilt having been banned for actual Scottish people to wear for almost four decades for being considered an act of treason. Hence the title, fifty shades of plaid.
The main characters at present are called Elizabeth and Alasdair, and it will likely be years before I am done writing this. But it’ll get there, one day.
I also have various other writing projects going on, but these were the ones inspired by tumblr. I am hoping to churn one out each year, though in what order I don’t quite know.
And that my doves, is why I have no fucking time on my hands lmao.
Hello hi yes this fic is inspired by a thing I kind of just found out wasn’t quite normal?? So everything in it is kinda based off my own experiences lol. Basically I associate almost everybody with a different colour, and I can see/feel the colour in my mind if I think about it when I’m with the person. Bad explanation, there’s a whole post on tumblr with me rambling on about it with another person though. So I’m sorry if it doesn’t make much sense? Oh well, it was fun to write. Anyway, on with the story, hope you enjoy it!!
Ever since Anxiety had first come into existence, people had a colour. The colour was just… there. Almost everybody had a colour, as long as he or Thomas knew them. Be it bright green, dark greyish blue, vibrant yellow, popping orange, deep purple, dark red, people just had a colour! Anxiety barely ever paid attention to it, actually, because after all, it was all just in his mind. It wasn’t like he physically saw the colours he just… felt them.
If he thought about it hard enough, he could see what the colour was, could imagine it perfectly. Anxiety still didn’t know why some people had specific colours. Nobody was ever quite the same, no one had the same shade or hue. Sometimes people just didn’t have a colour, and Anxiety had no explanation for that. They could be one of Thomas’ oldest friends, yet there would be no colour for Anxiety to associate them with. Sometimes it was hard to tell what the colour really was; sometimes it was all unclear and blended and muddy, and it made Anxiety’s head hurt if he thought about it for too long. He usually tried to ignore those colours after a while, if the person was somebody he could associate a colour with then eventually it would get clearer.
Sometimes the colour changed.
Emotions and feelings seemed to have a lot to do with it: how Anxiety felt about the person, if the person was showing one strong emotion in that moment, etc.
Sometimes Anxiety had to know the person really well to get a strong colour, yet sometimes knowing them well made the colour harder to define. No stranger had a colour. People he knew only vaguely sometimes had a colour, but it was usually darker and less clear. Every colour came with a different feeling. Sometimes the colour was unexpected, not what one would typically associate the person with. It wasn’t like he chose the colour, although he did sift through options trying to figure out exactly what the colour was. He didn’t know why some colours were what they were, although sometimes Anxiety wondered if he took it from appearances, like blue eyes, or simply knowledge of the person, like favourite colours. Sometimes Anxiety convinced himself it was all fake.
He thought about it for too long, managed to convince himself that it was all fake, unreal, that he was making it up. That he was forcing himself to think of a colour whenever he saw a person because he wanted to be special, unique. That he simply chose a colour and stuck it to the person. Felt like it wasn’t real because who the heck gives people a colour? And it couldn’t be that rare, different colours were associated with different things all the time, like yellow with happiness, etc. Anxiety often convinced himself that he was lying to himself, somehow.
But Anxiety couldn’t deny the fact that every time he saw Roman, he felt colour.
When he paid attention, or one of the other’s was doing something particularly strongly, their colour shone through.
Morality was light yellow, or maybe white. Bright, energetic colours. Shiny and like sunlight, intense. Loud and popping out at you, happy and cheerful. He was constant and solid, rarely switching from anything but those bright colours.
Logic was blue. The shade changed depending on what he was doing, however. If he was pondering the universe, giving facts, teaching people etc then he was dark blue, almost navy. Interesting and intelligent, deep and intricate. If Logan was playing, either a game or with a toy (usually a Rubik’s cube) or being childish with Morality, then his colour changed to something like orchid blue.
But Prince, Prince was red.
Sometimes, he was pink. The red would pale, dim down, become more peaceful. More relaxed, less vibrant, a soft happiness and contentedness with whatever was happening. Prince changed to pink when he was in his own little world. Curled up in a pillow fort, eyes shining, absorbed in a Disney movie he knew off by heart. Drawing and colouring, humming peacefully to songs as he allowed his creativity to flow loosely and freely.
And sometimes, when he was upset, he turned dark orange. Clashing and violent, chaos, a turmoil of distress. Anxiety always knew, and Prince’s colour always turned orange, because Roman never hid when he was feeling bad. He was loud and vocal, distressed voiced ringing through the mind, upset expression lingering on his face. He was unafraid to say when he felt unloved, unworthy, unimportant, etc. He was orange.
But Anxiety loved Prince’s normal colour. He loved the red.
Roman was scarlet, like his sash. Bright and loud, explosive and always right there, booming and expanding, a rush of crimson whenever the boy was being dramatic. The red was passion; bright and loud, strong and steady, fireworks. Loud voices and excitement, hand gestures and energetic feelings. Bright, unabashed smiles, full of excitement and delight, nothing held back or covered. Eyes twinkling in joy, his very personality loud enough to overpower everything else, the vibrant red practically emanating from him. Endless and energetic, wild and free and dramatic. That was the boy that Anxiety loved. He was red. Roman was red.
Request: Can you write a James Potter (Marauder’s Era) one shot where there is a
surprise masquerade. The reader is a Gryffindor and looks a bit like
Lily Evans, Potter’s date, and he accidentally kisses the reader
thinking it was Lily. He kissed her wanting to verify that he actually
felt something for Evans because lately he had been feeling just
friendship for the girl that finally said yes to him. End of story James
finds out he doesn’t love Lily, but the girl behind the mask, lots of
fluff and kiss
With flaming red hair, and green emerald eyes, Y/N carefully
slipped on the dress prepared for this special evening. She could hear the
girls chattering and giggling in excitement
‘I am going with Jack Rogers’ a girl gushed to her friends as the rest applied
their make-up. Shaking her head and adding the last bit of accessories, the
mask, on her face Y/N opened the four posted bed’s curtains with a smile
plastered on her face.
'Come on Prongs! Just admit it. You don’t like Evans anymore’ Sirius Black’s
voice rang through the room as the four teens, known as The Marauders, were
getting ready 'and that’s good, because tonight, my friend, I will be your wingman!’
Rolling his eyes, James Potter, or as his friends call him, Prongs, placed the
dressing robes’ jacket on and started trying to tame his hair.
Feeling a gentle tap on her shoulder, Y/N turned around to see a boy near her
age with soft, hazel eyes framed by round glasses. His black hair was messy and
untidy, yet it looked good, it looked windswept which didn’t make any sense to
Y/N considering that they’re indoors.
'Lily, you look beautiful’
James Potter complimented what he thought was the girl he’s been after for
'Um- I’m not-’
'You, Lily Evans, look absolutely stunning. Just like me’
Y/N let a soft laugh at that, it was clear that he is a gentleman, a very
confident, a very bold gentleman.
As the two stood talking about nothing of importance, James smiled 'Let me get
you a drink, love’
It is wrong of her to do that, maybe it would destroy the relationship between
James and Lily, but Y/N couldn’t help it. James Potter is polite, funny, and
handsome, but most of all, he made her feel welcomed, he made her nervous yet
relaxed when she’s talking to him. So for the rest of the masquerade ball, she
enjoyed herself by being Lily Evans and praying that no one would figure out
'Look at them Moony, dancing and laughing’ Sirius Black scoffed from across the
Great Hall as he watched his friend, James Potter, and his date, Lily Evans- or
so him and his friends thought. 'Just going around exciting me “I just
don’t want to kiss her” (Sirius said trying to mock James) Bloody liar.
Just getting me all psyched for being his wingman-’ Sirius’ grumbling words faded
as he changed his sight from his friend to his Transfiguration professor 'Ah,
Minnie-’ and with that, the young wizard was off to jokingly flirt with his
'Actually it was published 1994’
'Umm. No this song was released 1975, and the band’s name is Queen not The
Y/N argued heatedly with James Potter over the song playing. Bohemian Rhapsody.
'You know Evans (Y/N’s guilt increased) I never took you for the one to listen
to this kind of music’
Y/N laughed lightly and decided to call it a night, considering that it was
and that she couldn’t pretend to be someone that she’s not. When she decided to
play someone else, she never thought of how James Potter have been after this
girl she’s pretending to be for years, he knows her.
Moving out of his arms, Y/N gave James a small smile 'I had a good time tonight
(James rolled his eyes) but I really need to go. Goodnight’
Smiling softly at the masked girl, James Potter couldn’t help but fall for this
Lily. The Lily that laughs at his silly jokes and 30% only out of pity. The
Lily that discuss music and compliments him for his pranks. The Lily that makes
him feel at home.
'Just admit it Prongs, you don’t like Evans anymore’
Sirius’ words played in James’ mind and before she could move any further, he
got a hold of her hand
'Lily wait, I have to tell you something-’
'Me too’ her voice was painful and her soft, beautiful eyes were full of
regret, not giving him time, Y/N admitted one of the two things she didn’t say
'Um- I- it’s rock’
James’ eyebrows furred in confusion 'what?’
Letting out a deep breath and swallowing the lump in her throat
'This kind of music is rock’
James let out a small chuckle as Y/N let out a shaky giggle
Looking into her emerald green eyes, James Potter did the only thing he wanted
to do for so long, the only thing he could do to prove and admit his feeling to
the beauty in front of him.
Closing the distance between them, James’ hands were carefully placed on her
cheeks as he looked into her joyful eyes that were filled with sadness, James
place his lips on Y/N’s before she could utter a word
Feeling his lips on hers was different, the kiss was gentle and slow, yet not
slow enough for her to have enough nor him either.
James didn’t believe in destiny or fate and he hated how girls describe the
feeling in their stomachs when they share a kiss but who could deny these
butterflies, they’re filling his gut and he didn’t even think of fighting the cliché
Breaking the kiss, Y/N opened her emerald eyes to find James’ hazel ones
staring at her
'Yeah’ James whispered as his left hands caressed Y/N’s cheek and his right was
on her lower back near her waist 'It’s definitely rock’
As the next day came by, James Potter found himself in his usual place in front
of the lake with his friends as he leaned on a tree, watching the lake and
telling his friends about the Lily Evans from the previous night.
'Well, speaking of the devil’ Sirius black uttered as he nodded at the red head
coming their way. As soon as James saw her he jumped to his feet and smiled at
'James hello’ Lily’s voice was soft and her emerald eyes were full of sympathy
'can I talk to you alone?’
'I am really sorry about yesterday and I really wanted to come but I was sick
and I had to stay in the hospital wing. I hope we could go out next Hogsmeade
Lily spoke too fast but every word was clear to James. So, if Lily wasn’t the
one who fought with him offer the music, if Lily wasn’t the one who laughed at
his jokes, if Lily wasn’t the one who he kissed, then who was the girl from
last night, James wondered and got lost in his thoughts
'James?’ Lily asked worriedly looking at the boy in front of her 'um, yeah.
Yeah. O'course. I’ll- uhh- I’ll see you around’
Sitting in their dorm each of the marauders was processing the information
James told them
‘so, you like this girl?’ Peter asked as he looked at his friend
'I don’t know Wormtail, I mean, she’s really nice to talk to and I’d like to
meet her again but I don’t even know her name’
'But you do know what she looks like’ Remus looked at his friend that nodded in
agreement 'so, we’ll just have to help you find her, do you know which house at
least?’ Remus added as James shook his head, making his friends groan 'what! I
thought it was Lily’
Rolling his eyes, Sirius stood up and say back down beside James as he placed
his hand on his shoulder 'look mate, as much as I love you not having your mind
set on someone, I will do my duty as your best friend-’ 'we’re all his best
friends Padfoot’ at that comment Sirius scoffed 'please Wormtail, we all know
I’m his best friend. Anyway, as your best friend I will help you find this
girl. We all will, but I’ll still get the credit as I’m his best friend’ Sirius
said as he directed the last part to Moony and Wormtail.
James smiled at his friends before thanking them, and suggesting to just keep
an eye on someone that looks like Lily in classes and when they’re sitting in
the common room, maybe luck will be on his side and she’s a Gryffindor.
'Okay, don’t worry Prongs, we’ll find her. But if she’s hot can I-’
'Right sorry, not the right time- okay, got it, it’ll never be the right time’
Sirius said as he looked at his now glaring best friend.
Sorry for any mistakes and I hope you liked it :) :)
prompt: request - you’re a theatre major cursed with ong as a classmate - safe to say that you don’t like him and his annoying desire to be funny all the time. as fate would have it, you get paired with him for a project and discover that he’s more than just a comedian.
note: this one is dedicated to my good friend @mingmingexpress who requested it and is complete ong trash - finally, i’ve somewhat fulfilled your thirst
a/n: hey guys, here is another Savitar imagine that is dedicated to one of my writing friends on here well least I think of her as a friend anyway. I’m pretty sure many of you know her if you read a lot of flash stuff, this one is for you @staringatademigod as I promised. Now I was watching Batman cartoons again when I had the idea when it turned to Harley’s backstory before she became the infamous Harley Quinn that was with Joker. So, I got inspired by that with you being similar to old Harleen and Savitar being on the Joker side of things, however I don’t think Savitar would be nearly as abusive as Joker is. This is from an earth where you’re a doctor and everyone has different roles such as Barry goes by Savitar and Joe works as a guard for prisoners for example. YN/N is your nickname and AH/N is your antihero name. Ships are open for the time being and as always requests are open unless stated otherwise by me!
You glance at the clipboard in front of you while you pushed up your F/C framed glasses that matched the dress blouse that was under your lab coat, you were Dr. Y/N L/N. In fact, you were a very talented psychological doctor that worked with many of the criminals in Iron Heights Prison in Keystone that impressed the warden very much so and thought he could get more out of the inmates if they talked to you. You always liked your job since it kept you busy since you didn’t have very many friends in the first place as you walked to the person on your clipboard. Your heels clicked through the hard floor as you waved at Julian and Cisco, your fellow coworkers whom were quite nice to you even though you were shy. You took a breath as you looked at the picture attached by a clip, one of the most feared people of them all.
The picture was a man that held a coy grin on his face like he did nothing wrong of any sorts while holding the frame that had his name and number. He wasn’t bad looking per say besides the face that the left side of his face was burnt which resulted in one of his eyes to milky white and had tussled light brown hair while he wore his trench coat at the time when the photo was taken. That man was named Bartholomew Allen but he refused to listen when called that, he much preferred Barry or his new name. He proclaimed that he was the god of speed and such that he decided to give the name of Savitar and said that he will rule while everyone bowed down to his feet. What caused all of this madness from him? Well that’s what you were supposed to find out after Savitar gave the warden very little to go off so the warden asked you to see if you could be of any help.
You smiled at Joe when you approached Savitar’s cell which rendered his speed powers useless, “Hello Joe, it’s nice to see you as always. I need to talk to Mr. Allen, warden’s orders.” You say as the older man nodded before looking at the prisoner and explained he better not do any funny business before walking away to give you two space as you appeared in his view of vison.
An almost similar grin from his picture appeared on his face as you sat on the seat to cross your legs from wearing your black pencil skirt. “Oh, my my. Doctor is gorgeous, I might enjoy myself now. What’s your name doll?” Savitar asks you as he came closer, well as close as he could to you as he grips the bars that held him in his cell.
You jumped at the sound of his voice as you pushed up your glasses, “M-my name is Dr. Y-Y/N L/N but my friends call me YN/N and I’m nowhere near gorgeous but uh, thank you Mr. Allen.” Your S/C toned cheeks turn to a dusty pink from the compliment as the light brown haired male chuckles at your formality. “But I have some questions for you and I want you to answer honestly for me.”
He rolls his eyes, “Please skip the formalities and call me Savitar. What is there to know about me? I want to know about you Miss YN/N, tell me do you really have any friends? And you are gorgeous not to mention brilliant, I mean you are a doctor. Surely your parents must be proud.” He adds as he looks at you with that smile never leaving his face as your face dropped from the mention of friends and parents.
You decided to be honest, maybe that could help him be honest with his answers as well. “My parents died while I was in college and well, I don’t have many friends sadly. I keep myself busy with work here.” You say as Savitar frowns at your answer that you had given him as he moved one hand over his heart.
“You have nobody too? That’s such a pity Miss YN/N, you see me and you are alike in a way. My parents died when I was nine and never felt like I belonged no matter how many foster homes I went through. I was so sad being alone Miss YN/N. I never had much friends because I loved science so much as everyone else mocked me. But you seem like a nice enough person despite we haven’t known each for very long, maybe you can be my friend?” He asks softly which surprised you as you couldn’t help but agree before you talk about things that you two had in common. Savitar was actually really sweet towards you and always showered in compliments, noticing one day when you did something different with your hair.
You realized you began falling in love with the proclaimed god of speed after receiving a rose that was in a lovely shade of red. You never felt so in love with someone before and it made you feel wonderful before you decided to break out him out so you two could be together. You dressed in a new outfit with black leather clad pants on the right side with F/C on the left side of your pant leg that was tucked in black boots. Your F/C top was different from what you would usually wear as it showed more skin than what was normal of you. No glasses framed your eyes so your E/C eyes shinned brighter. You managed to sneak the keys to Savitar’s cell as you watch Joe walk away to deal with some other criminal in a cell as you ran as quick as you could to get the proclaimed god out.
His head whipped up to see you in your new outfit as you opened the door with a grin on your face, soon his face mirrored yours. “Well, well doctor. I like the new look, it suits you. But what are we going to call you now my goddess?” Savitar says as he tugs you away from being seen by Joe whom would later find out that the god of speed of escaped.
“I was thinking AH/N, you like it? You ask him as he pushed you close to give you a proper kiss, you almost melted in his grasp.
He gave you an eskimo kiss when you both away, “I think it’s perfect. Savitar the god and AH/N as his goddess. Now let’s go have some fun.”
In The Kitchen (Victor Zsasz x Female Reader) Smut
Requested by anon: can you do a victor zsasz x reader where he wakes up and she’s not there cause she’s making breakfast but he thinks she left and gets grumpy hurt but then goes into the kitchen and sees her in just his shirt and she’s all i made breakfast, i hope thats okay but he’s just staring at her and then she gets nervous and says i shouldn’t have done that i just thought it’d be nice, he kisses her to sit her up, kitchen smut.
A/N: I hope that this is okay at that you’ll like it, sweet anon.
Victor shifted in bed when he felt the warmth from the morning sun caress his face through the shades of the window. He turned to wrap his arms around you only to discover you weren’t there. He felt a sting in his heart of something he couldn’t quite place, but he knew he didn’t like that you actually left without saying something. Sure, the two of you met for the first time last night and he didn’t blame you if this had only been a one night stand from your part. Honestly, he had thought the same thing until a flickering moment when he nuzzled into your neck and you’d fallen asleep in each other’s arms. Well, guess he didn’t have to ponder about it further.
This show was about fifty percent Dan going, “Wow, all my insecurities are on display.” and fifty percent Dan going, “Wow, I love my partner and the things I do with him and that is also on display.”
He very obviously fucking loved doing that pastel edits video, and also very obviously feels like that is not something he should be allowed to love, like it does not hit the quality threshold that he feels his critics hold him to - and the heavens and earth would come crashing together before Dan acknowledged for more than the amount of time between one breath and the next that the praise he gets is just as valid as the critique sometimes.
A few things I loved about the liveshow:
- His pride in Phil being inventive. He literally searched youtube to see if anyone has ever done a pastel edits video before. (And no, they haven’t.)
- All of the unbidden Phil remarks. What are you wearing, Dan? Phil calls it my parachute jumper. Do you like mac and cheese? Well, neither my mum nor Phil like cheese. Will he wear a tattoo out? Phil wore his to the dentist. Does that one stubborn curl have a name? Not Babe the Pig, despite Phil trying.
- Shade at straight guys who don’t like the pastel edits, followed by what I think was an attempt to be eloquent expressing his opinions on heteronormativity and the dangers of a patriarchal society. I’d love to hear his thoughts if he actually prepared what he was saying ahead of time, but I really appreciate the message he’s putting out there.
- Not avoiding Valentine’s Day but bypassing the opportunities to insinuate he’s single. Not that I really expected he would, but if he felt like throwing up some walls he had the chance - and he chose not to.
- They can’t commit to Vidcon Europe or SITC because they have “some plans for the year” but are going to the Australia thing because “me and Phil just really want to go back to Australia, and stop somewhere along the way” jesus christ they’re so married or at least in the planning stages.
- And hands down the best part: Dan raving for a couple minutes about the facebook header he made that @degnam drew. All shall love manged and despair. Especially Dan.
Sidney is looking at the ring that is sitting on the coffee table; Jeremy didn’t want it back. I’ve tried to put it away, store it somewhere safe on hopes that one day my ex-fiancé will want it back, but every time I haven’t been able to do it, it just hurts too much.
“Do you want me to do it?” Sidney asks when I walk out of my bathroom wrapped on my fluffy towel.
“No, I have to do it.” I say. That ring is my closure and I’m not there yet. He nods, but doesn’t take his eyes off of the sparkling hoop.
It’s been a week since Jeremy slammed the front door of my apartment and left my life for good and I’ve never felt both more relieved and empty in my life. My life with Jeremy would’ve been comfortable, always knowing what to expect, but I’ve thrown that away for a life that my heart craves, filled with overflowing feelings and pure chemistry.
“You okay?” He has asked the same question at least a million times and my answer is always the same, no but I’ll be.
“I think so.” I say, sitting on the couch and leaning against his side, looking for warmth.
Sidney is quick to surround my shoulders with his big arm and pull me to his body even further, kissing my temple in the process. He’s had a rough week too, but he is not one to show it.
“Are we idiots?” I suddenly ask. It’s the question I’ve been asking myself day and night. “What if we are wrong and we don’t work?”
Sidney sighs and pulls his arm away from me; we have been avoiding this conversation for days and it never seems to be a good time to bring it up. I straighten myself, holding the towel tighter against my body feeling naked and vulnerable.
“We were lying to everyone, (y/n). We were even lying to ourselves.” Sidney says, stretching the hem of his sweatshirt with his hands. “Even if we don’t work, we have to give us a chance.”
I agree with him, but I’m scared; I’m scared of being wrong about us. It’s not even about leaving and hurting Jeremy anymore, it’s about me dropping everything for a love that might be just physics and chemistry, with no poetry involved.
“Talk to me, (y/n). Please.” He begs and I lift my head to look straight at his beautiful brown eyes. Actually, saying that his eyes are brown is like saying that the sky is only one shade of blue, they have so much dimension that it is easy to get lost in them.
“I’m scared of what I’m feeling.” I try to explain how I feel, seizing my words so they don’t come off wrong. “I’ve never felt anything so intense for anyone and I’m scared that because it is so intense it will die fast.”
“It is hard to explain isn’t it?” He says and I nod, lifting my legs to put them on his lap so I can scoot closer to his body, it is kind of cold and my naked skin is chilled. “Let’s get you dressed, baby girl.”
We make our way to my bedroom and I grab a pair of panties, a pair of fuzzy knee length socks and a tank top from my closet before going through the load of laundry that I folded this morning until I find one of Sidney’s tshirts and I put it on while he looks at me from the door frame.
“It looks good on you.” He whispers, getting closer and trapping me inside his arms. “You make my heart race like nothing ever has. Not even winning the Stanley Cup feels like this.”
“Wait for me here?” I ask, getting on my tippy toes to peck his lips before walking out the room and coming back with the ring in my hand.
The white gold hoop seems to weigh a ton in my hand, but I’m ready to leave it behind and start something new with Sidney.
“(y/n), come on. We are going to be late.” Sidney yells from the living room and I sigh, looking at myself on the mirror one last time.
It’s been a year since that night, the night Sidney asked me to leave my fiancé for him, and tonight we are going to the Pittsburgh Museum Gala again, as a couple now. The last year has been as delightful as it’s been challenging, but we have worked through it, building a relationship based on respect, trust and passion.
“One minute.” I say back at him, turning around to check the back of my long gown once again.
The navy dress hugs my figure and has beads embroidered all over it, forming patterns and designs all over the fabric. My hair is pulled back in a loose bun and my makeup is simple, but there is something missing and I don’t know what it is.
“Come on baby, we have to lea… Oh wow.” Sidney has made his way to our shared bedroom and is looking at me with his mouth open. “Stunning.”
“You think?” I ask, looking back at my reflection in the mirror.
“How couldn’t I? The Eight Wonders of the world have nothing on you.” He says and I know that my cheeks are turning red.
“Let’s go, Crosby.” I take his hand in mine and pull him to the door. “I have a Stanley Cup Champion to show off.”
It is fun being Sidney’s date to the Gala, everyone stops to talk to him. Everyone is looking ridiculously good, the jewels are sparkling the glasses of champagne flowing. The air that surrounds us is thick and it is almost hard to breathe because all the bodies inside the room, so Sidney and I decide to go down the memory line to take a breather. I lean on the balustrade, just like I did that night, but this time Sidney doesn’t join me so I turn around to find him on his knee with a velvet box in his hand.
“I don’t know if I’ve lived up to the expectations you had of us, but I can say that this year has been the most incredible year of my life. Nothing was guaranteed, but we still gave it a chance and I feel like nothing has felt so right in my life. A year ago we were here and I told you that I loved you. A year ago I asked you to drop everything for me and you did. And right now I want to ask you another question.” Sidney opens up the box to reveal a beautiful yet simple ring. “(y/n), will you marry me?”
Synopsis: Meeting Kim Namjoon on a warm day was like a dream or was it fate?
“This is my spot.” someone said whilst you were lounging against a tree. It was a hot summer day and the last thing you wanted was talking to someone else because moving was too exhausting and too hot but he was still standing there so you didn’t have another choice but to open your eyes.
You locked eyes with no other than Bts’s Rapmonster, which normally would make you jump up but you just looked at him and back to the tree. “Ya there is enough space to take a seat against the tree, just sit next to me” you almost spoke with a whisper but he still was budging. “I want to sit there.” he pointed at your spot but you just smiled at him. “Well I’m not going to get up so you don’t really have a choice.” you closed your eyes again and turned on up the volume of your music realizing quickly that you were listening to Bts which made this even more embarrassing but what followed was even worse because Rapmonster bowed slightly and lifted you from the ground. “Ya let go of me, are you crazy?!” you yelled at him but he didn’t respond and just walked away with you in his arms, he put you down just a few steps away from the tree and he quickly turned around and sat down himself.
To say you were angry, was an understatement, how dare he. He must really want to die by putting you down somewhere else! He’s maybe a popular idol but that didn’t mean he had the right to treat you like this. You walked back and sat down next to him, well, to be honest, you just sat down on top of him and leaned back, to say he was shocked by this was also an understatement and you quietly were laughing at him.
“Get off, of me!”
“Why would I?”
“Because I’m sitting here!”
“So, I was sitting here first and just because you picked me up and put me down somewhere else means I will stay there, I’m not a dog you know.”
“But this is my spot to think and write songs.”
“And I also come here to think about things.” You shrugged but he wasn’t going to give up when he suddenly touched your arm, which made you almost jump because of the electricity that went through your body when he caressed your arm. You knew he felt it as well because his body went rigid under yours.
“Look just get off, I will be gone in an hour or so, as I have a schedule.” You got up without arguing this time but instead of moving away you took a seat next to him the only problem was that there was less shade, which meant it was going to get warm and within minutes you began to feel drowsy, this was bad but there was nothing you could do against it.
“Please wake up.” a male voice mumbled to you whilst gently stroking your hair, this really felt like heaven, that it until you actually opened your eyes and looked into the brown ones of Kim Namjoon, you had actually fallen asleep and somehow ended up in his lap. The fact that he didn’t move you but was gently putting his finger through your hair, told you more than enough about Namjoon. You quickly sat up, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes when you saw him smile at you. “You’re cute when you sleep.” he mentioned as you hid behind your hands because this really was embarrassing but he didn’t seem to mind any of it. “I’m so sorry.” you sat on your knees and bowed a few times whilst apologizing when he suddenly put his hands on both sides of your face, he looked you right in the eyes when he told you not to worry.
He got up but before he walked away he turned towards you “Let’s meet again under this tree.” you nodded not sure why he would want that and he also didn’t say when, so he was probably testing out fate, which was stupid because there was no way you were going to be here every day just for the chance to bump into him. You stared at him as he ran away, not knowing this meeting was the one that touched your heart and made a small hole in the wall you built after your last failed relationship.
The next days went by without a hitch, sadly enough the weather stayed humid and warm, which made working a lot less fun not that it was that warm at the hospital you worked as a nurse but still you just wanted to go outside and take a trip to the beach but that was not going to happen anytime soon because with warm weather, there were also a lot of people who became ill so this meant no peaceful day anytime soon. You wanted to become a doctor but changed your mind when you saw how much work the nurses did and it really suited you better because this meant a stable income and stable work hours, which was all you wanted. You were looking into the computer when you heard your name getting yelled. “Y/N, get over here quick!” this was one of your colleagues who normally wouldn’t make such a hassle, that it until you brought up Bts as she was obsessed with Jimin.
“What?!” she pointed at her screen, which was playing a video. “What’s wrong?”
“Namjoon Oppa is talking about you.” This made you look at her skeptical because how was that even possible and why now? It was like a week ago there was no way he was still remembering you and on top of that, you never told him your name. “What kind of nonsense is that?” you kept watching and when he actually said your name you were stunned.
“I met Y/N a week ago and told her to meet me under the same tree again. I do believe in fate but I never told her a day, which was probably really stupid of me but maybe she is watching right now because I do believe she is ARMY. “Y’N I’m sorry for going through your phone but I was just too curious about you but to keep this short, will you please meet me under the tree on the first day of autumn?” This was a bit cringy but also super sweet and it made your heart melt just a little bit but there was no way you were going to remember this. Autumn was more than a month away, how in the world were you going to remember that because you really weren’t planning to put it on your agenda.
“Namjoon Oppa is in love with you.” she pushed you which startled you as you were deep in thought. “Yah, that’s crazy, we only met once.” she shrugged and walked away humming one of her favorite songs.
To your surprise, you were becoming obsessed with the band. It was becoming really bad as you were watching all their MV’s and looked at all the video’s they made. You even watched Namjoon’s solo MV’s and all their bangtan bombs or other things they did, you were trying not to be biased but it was inevitable but to be completely honest you were more drawn to Jimin’s cuteness at least that’s what you were telling yourself even when you passed the tree every day, you caught yourself scanning the park just to see if Namjoon was waiting under the tree but he never was, which wasn’t weird as he was on tour right now.
The days became shorter and the weather finally cooled down. You felt a bit nervous because the autumn was almost here and you were still debating whether you should go or should stay at home. “So have you decided?” You looked up from the patient’s sheet as your colleague walked in, you were in the children’s ward this week and this room existed out of teenage girls so this conversation was not suitable as they were ARMY, at least two of them were. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You know that I’m talking about Rapmonster.” you rolled your eyes and waited for the girls to catch on. “What about Rapmonster?” one of the girls asked a bit defensive, which was something that you could expect from someone of her age. “Nothing.” you smiled at her but she didn’t let it go. “It’s not nothing, this is not the first time I heard her mumbling about you and Rapmonster.” you know your ears were red by now but you couldn’t walk away as you weren’t done doing your round. “She is the tree girl.” You immediately narrowed your eyes at your colleague because she was really betraying you right now. “Wait really?! You are that girl?” you nodded whilst hiding behind the information sheet, this was becoming even more embarrassing.
“Omo daebak, so what do you need to decide?”
“She doesn’t know if she wants to meet him on the first day of autumn.”
“Why not, If it was me, I would definitely go.”
“He has probably forgotten about it, it’s just silly.”
“But what if he hasn’t and he is waiting for you?” she had a point and it would be so rude to keep him waiting. You were really conflicted with yourself because you were curious enough to go but what if he wasn’t waiting, then it would just be embarrassing.
“Look I still have two weeks before the first day of Autumn so let me just think about it and please don’t butt in.” you were done with your rounds and when it was time to go home, you couldn’t help but check the park again but he wasn’t there. This went on for the next two weeks and when the day was finally there, you still weren’t sure about going or not going. It was your day off so at least you could get ready slowly, which meant you could take a lovely bath and actually put something nice on. The sun was shining and the temperature was nice, it was as if even mother nature was saying to go out and meet Namjoon under that tree.
You picked out your clothes with more thought than you normally would but you stayed true to your own style, which was casual. You went with skinny jeans, with holes at the knees and a light green sweater. Your hair was curling down your back and you kept your makeup natural, you waited till noon and that’s when you decided to go, just to see if he would show up.
Your heart rate went up when you got closer to the tree because even though you were telling everyone that you really didn’t care, you actually did care. The moment the park came into view you had to stop because you felt way too nervous. “Aish, he is just a guy, nothing special about this,” you mumbled to yourself as you walked into the park. The tree came into view and you couldn’t help but feel disappointed that there was no one waiting but what did you expect. You approached the tree and sat down on the grass, you put on your music and just leaned your head back and closed your eyes, you were lucky it was a warm autumn day otherwise you would’ve given up already but now you decided to wait as long as possible. Maybe he had something going on and he couldn’t come this early.
You don’t know how long you waited but you had fallen asleep for sure, which wasn’t odd at all as you had worked a few crazy weeks but the sun was already going under and there was still no sign of Namjoon. You sighed as you got up, you had to stretch because you sat way too long in the same position. You looked around to see if there was a sign of Namjoon but there really wasn’t. The embarrassment you were feeling right now, was bad and you just wanted to go home and hide under the blankets, how could he forget? You put down the little gift box you picked out for Namjoon and put in under the tree, hoping it would find it’s way to him after this you walked away without so much as a glance back.
Monday was a new day and you were already dreading the questions of your colleague and the patients, this was going to embarrassing but maybe if you denied going there, it wouldn’t be as bad, just pretend that was the best option, how could you lose your heart to someone like him. He was famous and it was stupid to think that he would have time for someone like you.
“Y/N, wait up!!” that’s when this day full of torture began. “Did you go?” you shook your head and tried to escape her but she was clearly not believing you.
“Come on tell the truth sunbae.” you sighed and turned to face her and there was actual hope on her face and it was really sweet but there was no way she needed to know that you waited for Namjoon almost the entire day. “I’m telling you the truth, I decided at the last minute not to go, I guess I got cold feet.” you hurried away and when your round at the children’s ward came up you told the patients the exact same thing and that was that, the next few weeks went by and winter had definitely arrived when you suddenly got an emergency call from the surgeon in charge, they needed you right now and that’s how almost every day went, you were glad to have Christmas off, which you spent with your family, it was a lovely time and it took your mind off Namjoon and the fact that you still felt really stupid for going to that tree.
“Unni, did you really go to that tree?” You looked up from your plate and there was your niece of eleven watching you. This was tricky because you couldn’t lie to your niece right? But then again you were almost over the embarrassment and to relive it again. “Come on Unni tell me!” she was pleading you whilst following you around the house, she even crawled on your lap when you sat down and with those big Bambi eyes, she made you crumble. “Yes, I went to that tree but he wasn’t there so I went home.”
“Really?! How rude of him, I’m sorry Unni.” you shrugged it wasn’t like she could do something about it. “It’s fine, I’m over it.” you ruffled her hair and brought her to bed not long after, you needed to go home because tomorrow you had a shift.
New years eve went by without so much as a hitch, you watched the new year’s show on the tv in the waiting room and almost put it off when Bts came on but you weren’t alone and as you were surrounded by the teenage girls, you weren’t going to risk your life. They were performing their newest single and Not Today, which had all the girls hyped up and to be honest it was a sick song with the coolest choreography. When you suddenly noticed something on Namjoon, he was wearing the ring you had given him. It was an old ring, which you knew he liked as Suga had given him one like that, this just had a different shape.
“That purple ring that Namjoon is wearing, I bought that for him.”
“Really but how did you give it to him?”
“I didn’t, well not really, I left it under the tree.”
“Didn’t you say you didn’t go to that tree?” You nodded but you were emerged in the tv, watching Namjoon’s ring just to make sure it really was the ring you had left under the tree. It definitely was your ring after watching it closely but when did he get it and how? There was no way he showed up after you left right and if that was the case why didn’t he contact you as you left your information with the ring in the hope he would still find it and apparently he had found it but never contacted you. Did this mean he had given up or just didn’t want to contact you anymore? It also made you angry because how dare he treat you like that, first he’s even telling on tv that he wants you to meet him under the tree and then you come and he isn’t there but only to show up after you left and then he actually took the box but didn’t even have the nerve to call you. You shook your head as you got up, there was no way you wanted to watch them right now because you actually felt bad about this. He stood you up but he still was wearing your ring, how cruel.
The first day of the year you decided to put him out of your head, which wasn’t that easy as he was actually everywhere but you just ignored it by working a lot of hours and only going home at night, this really helped. Winter came and had gone by so fast that you didn’t even know what you had been doing the last couple of months but you were enjoying the warm weather and you couldn’t wait for summer to start, you had been on a couple of dates since February and were actually enjoying it a lot not that you really clicked with the guys on romantic level but at least you were having fun. You were doing groceries when you felt your phone vibrate. “Hello?”
“Y/N, are you around a tv right now?” You knew immediately what she wanted but you were not falling for that one this time. “No, I’m not why?”
“Bts is on and you got mentioned.” you snorted because she was really going far but this time you didn’t believe her. “Whatever, I’m hanging up.” that’s when you heard your name through a guys mouth and it definitely was Namjoon’s voice and the urge to listen was big but not enough to keep listening so you still hung up the phone, you weren’t dragged in again, you burned yourself once and that was enough for a lifetime.
You finished shopping and were sipping some coffee when your phone went off again but this time it was your niece. “Yes?”
“Rapmonster just talked about you.” you sighed as this was getting tiresome.
“What do you mean, so what? Aren’t you curious to what he said?”
“No, not really.”
“I get that you’re angry Unni but really you should watch it. I’ll send you the link, just watch it okay” she hung up after that and she indeed send you the link to the video but you quickly put your phone away because you weren’t planning on watching it anyway, not now but once at home your curiousness took over and you clicked on the link and there they were. They were on a talk show when the MC asked them if they regretted something and it was funny to see how everyone turned to Namjoon.
“Rapmon-sshi, do you have something you regret?” the Mc asked with a small smirk on his face and to your surprise, he actually nodded. “I do.”
“Please tell us about it.”
“I don’t know if you remember me talking about this girl I met under a tree?” the MC nodded excitedly. “I know about this yes, did you went up to meet her?”
“I didn’t, well I did go there but not on the day I told her and I still feel really bad about it.”
“I see, have you tried to contact her?”
“No, but I did find her gift. I have been wearing it every day in the hope she will see it.”
“Can you show us her gift?” Namjoon held up his right hand and there it was your ring on his finger, he wiggled it and looked at it before the Mc spoke. “She bought a ring for you but you never once contacted her?” He shook his head and you could tell he was embarrassed about it. “Why not?”
“Well at first I felt ashamed of myself but after a few days our schedule went crazy and I just forgot about it.” You had heard enough, you were actually nothing to him and this proved it when he suddenly sighed deeply as the MC asked him something. “Of course I would love to get another chance but that’s probably not going to happen, I screwed up.” your heart fluttered when he said that but still you weren’t that interested right now and you just stopped watching, it was the best thing, you were happy he was wearing the ring and it did feel good that he felt bad about the whole thing but it didn’t make you feel like meeting him.
You eventually forgot about him and went on with your life no one bothered you with it again and you just lived happily. You made new friends and even got a small dog, which you called Lady, as she looked exactly like Lady from “Lady and the Tramp.” You were just living your life and at the hospital, you even got promoted to head nurse, which meant steady hours and a bigger paycheck, it was all good, you even could go on a holiday, which you did, you visited Italy and went on a big adventure. You loved the European lifestyle as they were so free, you could walk around with just a bikini at the beach and nobody would look at you, you got tanned but it really didn’t matter as you weren’t an idol anyway, the last week was spent in Rome, where you spend some time with one of your best friends, she was shocked to see you so tanned but at the end of the trip she was looking the same as you.
As you were eating dinner at some luxurious restaurant which had the most beautiful view over the city, you just wanted to stay, that is until she decided to mention the forbidden name. She was talking about a concert they were giving.
“Are you going to their concert?”
“What concert and from who?”
“Bts of course.”
“Why would I? I don’t have time and really I’m not a fan after what happened.”
“Really? I thought you still liked them?” You shook your head and she immediately shut up about it but it was already too late because your mind wandered over to Bts. “You really had to ask me this?”
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have.”
“Let’s just forget it and get some ice cream.” you put on a fake smile as you could only think about that day you waited like a complete fool under that damn tree. You strolled through the city whilst stuffing your face with Ice cream, this was the last thing you could do as you were flying back home tonight. At least she waited until the end of the trip to mention them. You could forgive her but it just proved that you still had a weak spot when it came down to that damn Namjoon and you started to wonder if it wasn’t fate after all.
It was August and the heat was at its peak but as you still had some free time, you took Lady out for long walks but never during the day but always after six because she could get a heatstroke. You were walking mindlessly when you suddenly stood in front of the tree again. You looked up and the tree was still the best place to take a rest on a hot day, as the leafs were gently rustling and the shade and sunshine shifted. “What do you think Lady, should we rest for a bit,” you mumbled to the dog and she had decided for you two, as she plopped down on the grass. You quickly took out a little bowl and put some water in it for her and sat down against the tree, you were listening to soothing music and closed your eyes as Lady put her head on your knees. The breeze was so nice that you felt drowsy again and you knew that falling asleep was inevitable, you only woke because someone pushed away some stray hairs. You opened your eyes slightly and locked eyes with brown one’s but as you were still not fully awake, you closed your eyes again, not caring if it was a creep or someone you knew, as long as he didn’t do anything weird you weren’t planning on opening your eyes.
After a few minutes, it finally dawned on you with whom you just locked eyes. You opened your eyes and found your head resting on a shoulder, you held your breath as you looked up. First thing you saw was his little dimple as he was smiling, whilst reading a book, he turned towards you and you locked eyes again but this time he didn’t waste time and as he turned his body towards you, he gently put his hands on the side of your face and gently pulled you towards him and placed his lips on yours and at first you wanted to push him away but your heart betrayed you and slowly you started kissing him back. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered against your lips as he kissed you again. “It’s okay,” you mumbled back after that you spend a few minutes like this when he finally pulled back he was fully smiling as he gently traced your lips with his thumb. “I shouldn’t have come so late that day but please believe me that I was just too nervous.” he was still holding your gaze and you saw the desperation in his eyes and you knew instantly he was being sincere and you leaned forwards and kissed him gently. This was probably the most romantic thing ever as the sun was also setting behind you, his eyes sparkled as he looked at you, he motioned for you to move a bit forwards so he could sit behind you and you quickly did what he asked. He hugged you and you felt his lips on your neck, which was so good that you leaned into his embrace. There was nothing better than this moment and the fact that if you just had waited a little longer, you would have met him and then you wouldn’t have felt to sad the entire time. You were dozing off again when you heard him say your exact thoughts.
His fingers hovered over the keyboard of his phonescreen for a moment, a wide, toothy grin pulling at the corners of his lips. To Jiyong’s dismay his friend seemed to be completely immersed in the conversation he was having with the oh so mysterious messenger. Truth be told if he wasn’t aware of the fact that it was you on the other end of the line - you, who so graciously told him everything between the two of you were a mistake and should be kept hidden - his annoyance would be kept to the minimum.
a good place to start | inspired by this post (”…just??? isabelle lightwood not having to know exactly who she is and what she wants, being allowed to be unsure and taking time to figure herself out, because she tries so hard to be everything for everyone but herself and it seems unlikely to me that she’d just hit puberty and immediately come out with full confidence about her sexuality.”)
It started with a girl without a name, or at least, Isabelle
had never learned it.
Izzy was 17 and she had just finished a patrol with her
brothers. She convinced them to go with her to a club, Jace agreed because he
wanted to go, and Alec would never leave them unprotected. (“We can take care
of ourselves, Alec.” “I know, I’m still staying.”)
Jace was off flirting with some girl, Alec was standing at
the bar, and Izzy was dancing on her own in the crowd when she made eye contact
with a girl wearing a little black dress, her hair wild, her make up smudged,
but her eyes shined and her smile lit up her entire presence. The girl smiled
at Izzy and Izzy smiled back, suddenly feeling nervous, almost shy.
The girl walked towards her, confident and beautiful, and
just as she reached Izzy, the song switched to something even more upbeat and
the girl smiled wider and began to dance in front of Izzy, with Izzy. At some point the girl’s hands found their way to Izzy’s
hips and Izzy placed her hands on the girl’s shoulders. She doesn’t know how
many songs stopped and started as they danced; it felt like an entire separate
world was created within their arms. Which was why Izzy was so startled when
another girl appeared beside them, tapping the girl Izzy was dancing with on
the shoulder and pointing to the exit.
The girl nodded and turned to Izzy, gave her a small smile
before kissing her cheek and walking away.
NOTES/WARNINGS: If you successfully resisted googling what Loki’s nickname for Willow means; wonder no more. :P
Loki missed Willow. A week into their separation he was ready to admit so aloud. He checked on her twice a day each day. It had become routine; the day felt incomplete otherwise. But it wasn’t enough. He missed teaching her, the way her face lit up whenever she got something right, the way she sometimes forgot her self-consciousness and cried out for joy and/or hugged him when the achievement was particularly big. He missed the way she got annoyed when he ruffled her hair yet unconsciously sought contact when she was distracted enough. He missed talking to her, listening to her ramble on about her day or vent out her frustrations over assignments she had trouble understanding and explaining what he could if the situation permitted.
Hello lovely people, I am currently working on a request but thought I’d post this Fluffy piece for now! REQUESTS ARE OPEN
It was one of those really good fall days, the kind where all the leaves are different shades of orange, red, and yellow. The wind was slightly blowing through the streets leaving a perfect breeze in its trail. Fionn had actually woken up early this morning, it was one of the rare days where he had nothing to do at all, in fact he had nothing to do tomorrow either. It felt good for him to have some time off after Dunkirk and all the promo mixed with doing Queers, like he deserved some relaxation, the only problem being now he wasn’t too sure he knew how anymore. Making his way down the street, glasses and baseball cap on, he decided to go to the coffee shop he used to work at. Fionn was enjoying walking through the town with no one recognizing him, not that he didn’t appreciate his fans, he did, it was just that it was nice to feel normal. Entering the small shop Fionns nose is instantly filled with the scent of fresh coffee, sweet treats, and buttery croissants.
“Fionn, darling is that you?”
The old lady from behind the counter came around to see Fionn and give him a hug.
“Hi Doris how are you?”
Fionn asks as he hugs the cheerful lady back. This lady meant a lot to Fionn, she was the lady that gave him the job at the coffee shop 2 years, and this is probably the most meaningful job Fionn will ever have, it’s a job that taught him to be humble and grateful.
“I’m good love, we all are just miss you round these parts is all, yeh know now that you’re a big movie star and all”.
“I’m still me, I’m still the lanky boy you hired years ago, just been a little busy s’all”.
Fionn smiles shyly at the kind woman.
“Well can I get you anything love?”
“Yea my usual please Doris”.
“Sure thing, an umm there’s a sweet thing over there that you may want to say hey to”.
Pointing to a small table in the corner the lady walks off to get Fionn his coffee and croissant with a side of Nutella. Fionn looks over at the table to see you with your nose in your phone, and carelessly picking bites off your croissant and dipping it in your Nutella before popping it in your mouth. Fionn smiles at his best friend that he planned on surprising later and heads over to the table for two taking the spare chair.
“I’m sorry that seats taken”.
Mindlessly still buried in your phone and eating you tell the person who you assume is a stranger to leave.
“Really? And who would be sitting here that’s more important than me love?”
You freeze for a second thinking you must be going crazy because you could have sworn that you just heard Fionn, the Fionn that’s been gone for months and you haven’t had more than a 3 second conversation with over the phone. Looking up you can see Fionn sitting across from you with a smirk on his face. The boy that you grew up with had never looked better, he looked refreshed and tanner making his freckles pop against his skin and his hair was shorter than before he left but longer than after he cut it for the movie. But the biggest change you noticed was that he wasn’t the lanky kid that left you a year ago, he had filled out and was muscular, shoulders broader, arms wider, and neck thicker.
You jump from your chair hoping for a hug from your best friend. Fionn gets up from his chair immediately wrapping his arms around you, burying his nose in your neck and mumbling an “I missed you” in your ear. Doris comes up to the both of you with Fionns coffee and food smiling. Fionn picks his plate and coffee up from the table,
“C’mon love lets go to our table outside”. Fionn smiles and motioned his head towards the door, grabbing your plate and coffee you follow the boy to what you had declared your table years ago. Sitting down you both start eating, Fionn stops and you notice him staring at you, you stop eating and look up to see him smiling at you.
“What is it ya goof, do I have something on my face?”
Fionn smiles shyly down at his plate. It’s not that he feels uncomfortable around you but just that he hadn’t seen you in months and when he’s been gone from someone that long it kinda felt like starting over. It didn’t help that you somehow were even more gorgeous now than you were almost a year ago.
“No, no love it’s just.. just that it’s nice that your still getting our order, coffee and a croissant with a side of Nutella, it’s nice, it’s familiar”.
You smile at Fionn happy that he seems to find a comfort in being with you here. After eating Fionn grabs a cigarette from his pocket and lights it, the flames from the lighter flickering on his face, lighting up all his perfect little freckles. This is the strange thing about Fionn, if he has coffee he has to have a cigarette, now most people have a cigarette with alcohol but not Fionn nope Fionn has his with coffee. After pulling a drag the boy noticed you snickering at him,
“What is it love, do I have something on my face?”
Still snickering you shake your head,
“No Fionn it’s just, you still have to have a cigarette with your coffee don’t you? I just never got it is all”.
Fionn smiles down at the table fidgeting with the cigarette between his fingers.
“I don’t know, I just like it how they taste together, relaxes me a bit”.
After you both finish your coffee the both of you walk around town all day, reminiscing about all the old places you used to hang out at. It was starting to get dark and cold outside,
“Well look at that Fionn looks like we spent the whole day away and it didn’t feel like more than an hour”
“I know, feels like we were just at the shop”.
“Fionn, you spent the whole day with me, don’t you have any other friends you want to see before your schedule picks back up again?”
Fionn, with his hands buried down in his pockets looked down at the ground and shook his head?
“No, not really, kinda just want to spend all my time with you s’all. Plus yea I have friends but they have friends and they have parties and I’m so awkward. It’s been nice being with you today, you haven’t once asked me about the movie or Harry’s Styles and his hair, I felt normal again”.
You laugh at Fionn happy that you made him feel normal and comfortable. Fionn grabs your cold hand holding it in his warm one that was in his pocket moments ago,
“So what do yeh say, wanna go see a movie?”
You smile at Fionn shaking your head yes, Fionn didn’t even notice that he had held your hand all the way to the theatre until he went to pay for the tickets, you could see the blush creeping up his face.
After the movie the both of you headed to your house, you made a pot of coffee and the both of you headed up to your roof were you both would spend your nights staring at the stars when you were younger. Fionn lights a cigarette while staring at the stars and mumbles something that you don’t quite catch.
“What is that?”
“Oh, I was just saying that…that I don’t want this to end, I had the best day in a very long time today just being here with you, you just make me feel normal something no one else can do”.
You’re staring at Fionn listening to everything he’s telling you, you get lost in the thought of him and how beautiful he’s gotten and before you notice it he’s placing his lips on yours, both of your lips intertwining into a passionate, slow, gentle kiss.
“I’ve been wanting to do that since I saw you in the shop this morning, I don’t know what it is Y/N but it seems that somehow you’re even more beautiful now than a year ago”.
“You know Fionn, I could say the same about you, your broader, tanner, you looked reshreshed”.
Fionn looks away from you looking shy again,
“Y/N, I don’t know if I want to be just friends anymore, I want to be something more, I want you to be mine”.
You kiss him one more time,
“I feel the same way Fionn. Why don’t you spend the night with me like we used too when we were kids, you can stay in my bed”.
The both of you crawl into your queen sized bed, you laying on his chest listening to his heart beat and breaths and him playing with your hair as you both fall asleep. You wake up to the smell of pancakes, your mom must have been making breakfast.
“Fionn, Fionn get up my moms already up we have to get you out of here unseen. After quietly walking down the stairs and with Fionn almost out the door you hear your mom call,
“Y/N will Fionn be staying for breakfast or are you just gonna wake him up and kick him out like that?”
You and Fionn both walk into the kitchen slowly, Fionn a bit shy and saying hello to your mom. You both sit down and eat as your mom brings you both some coffee. After eating you both help to clean up thanking your mom for breakfast. You walk Fionn out so he can smoke, he said he wanted to go home and take a shower, that he wanted to take you on a proper date and he needed to plan it. Before he left he placed a kiss on your lips
“Mmmm coffee and cigarettes, I think I’m starting to understand why you like the flavor. “Silly girl and you questioned me the entire time”.