actually 'smack it' is not one of the things

Tiny, Rambly Rant

This can’t be said enough:

Eliminate mundane causes before turning to the supernatural.

And I can understand how that would seem counter-intuitive, but let me explain you a thing …

When one takes up the craft they often feel like a whole brand new world opens up to them. Everything changes, and nothing will ever be the same, and we sometimes take this new attitude and apply it to everything. Everything becomes magical and everything has an underlying magical aura.

This is something a decent craft teacher will stop with a newspaper to the nose. *smack*

When we flip the perception, and look at everything with mundane suspicion, we are actually less likely to miss the woo. By eliminating all of the mundane causes for a thing, you also eliminate that pesky doubt you keep hearing me grumble about. You are more sure about what you’re dealing with, and can act accordingly.

For example:

I wear hematite to help with my social anxiety. They’re really energy sensitive. It is said that when they’re overwhelmed they shatter.

They are also pretty fragile and if you smack it against everything, of course, it’ll shatter.

So, when a ring breaks off my hand and I know that I’ve just been literally running into shit for the last couple of weeks. I know that it’s because gravity plays favorites, and I’ve accidentally put too much force on it.

But when a necklace that has just been sitting on my bedside table, protecting the homestead goes kaboom without being knocked around, dropped or otherwise provoked, then I know something is up.

Saturating your world with a perceived magical-ness, weakens your senses. It desensitizes you to what is out there. I recommend picking up a deliberate, goal oriented practice as opposed to a wild, come-what-may, practice. Trust me, if you’re open, the fuckery will come to you, you don’t have to go looking for it.

No, really though. Go see a doctor if you feel physically weird. Go see a mental health professional if your brain feels off. Eliminate the non-magical causes, first, and then start to investigate the supernatural.

I hope that ramble makes sense.

-St.

OKAY SO a pile of tracer thoughts I guess

She has precisely One Billion little scars and scuffs from doing all sorts of silly shit. As a toddler. adolescent. TEEN. adult..
She continues to gather MORE…from silly and not so silly things (like WEAPONS)
Also, chipped tooth.
Which lbr she probably got from smacking herself in the face with one of her pistols trying to do a new twirly trick once

Her goggles are prescription!
Her eyes aren’t like, too bad,but Still.
She wears goggles all the time instead of her actual glasses bc
A. She thinks they’re Cool
B. The Tan Lines are Strong

She collects model airplanes…she has So Many….

The chronal accelerator has a good range, so she can take it off and move a fair distance around it, but she has Mad Anxiety about removing it at all. So she hardly ever does unless it’s like. Absolutely necessary

She’s Smort…..real handy with the mechanics of stuff

BONUS WIDOWMAKER THOUGHT:
She lives on a diet of like. Soylent…Nutrient Drink type shit. And some fruit.
She isn’t really into The Joys Of Eating these days..
Sombra is always trying to tempt her to eat a Real Food anyways tho (“when’s the last time u chewed something???”)

But she DOES seem to like a variety of warm drinks….and dark chocolate
really dark, like 85% (tracer likes milk chocolate)

Dating peter would include;
  • Him constantly calling you “babe”.
  • Public displays of affection ie playfully butt-smacking in public places like the grocery store while you’re waiting in line at the cashier. Peter is at both the giving and receiving end.
  • Midnight walks. Peter usually hates walking because he fells like things are moving too slowly for him, especially when you take your time to stop and admire the stars or throw pebbles at toads in the ponds, but either way, he’s always the one waking you up in the middle of the night asking to go outside because you’ve gotten him addicted (to seeing you happy).
  • Him braiding your hair actually quite nicely, and when asked how he does it so well, he responds, “I’ve had a lot of practice on Wanda.”
  • You loving his family, especially his little sister. You and Peter at times take her to the park and let her feed the ducks, while the two of you just lay in the grass and try and see who can catch the most ladybugs in their hands.
  • Calling him cute nicknames like quickie, speedy, and road-runner.
  • Showering together.
  • Washing Peter’s hair while in the shower because he likes the feel of your nails on his skin.
  • “Are you wearing my chapstick?”, to which he always responds with something like “Sharing is caring”
  • Peter constantly stealing brief, barely there kisses from you because apparently he just “loves the taste of your chapstick”.
  • Soft, tentative neck kisses.
  • You helping him sort out his issues with his dad.
  • You printing out band-posters for Peter’s favorite bands even though you may not always love them, but just because he does.
  • Sharing trainers and socks. It’s not even something you do consciously, but you’ll find that when you’re getting ready you’ll just grab one of Peter’s dinosaur socks and fit onto your feet as he does, and then grab one of your like plain back ones and do the same. Peter of course doesn’t mind- he mismatches his socks anyway.

my fave dialogues from s8 so far:

- “now i feel it BEFORE you hit me” “woah really?”
- then this guy started talking smack!
- why are you dressed like me? get a life dude
- i think ive heard enough… to know that i need to hear it all again
- look at my eyes when im angry! hey! hey!

- im not actually a doctor, i just came here one day for my xray result and my first name is doctor and one thing lead to the other
- A SWORD? thats not how you practice medicine!

- (monotone voice) woohoo.
- “youre not gonna ban your granddaughter from her own skatepark are you?” “man i hope so”
- i still think this is a terrible idea

- “the only prison is this planet” “welcome to the club”
- what? WHAT? WHAAAAT?!

- what if i do something stupid and hes like dang this guy is so stupid
- stab him with a giant srynge of respect
- games bookstore
- not dialogue but the volcano of beach balls is amazing

sometimes life just slips in through a back door

this started out as the boys comforting each other and turned into an actual thing with an actual plot whoops props to any of you who actually read all of it

AU in which Kane takes the boys (and a happy fucking ending to this story because we really need one)

word count: 1.9k


One minute, they’re sitting on the picnic table out by Lukas’ barn. Then the man from the cabin is sneaking up behind Lukas, and Philip doesn’t even have time to warn him before he’s smacking him over the head, and Lukas is going limp. Philip opens his mouth to yell, but the man quickly rushes him, and shoves damp fabric against his mouth. His panic causes him to breathe in, and sleep pulls him under in seconds. The world goes dark, and his head is light, and everything floated away.

It’s him that wakes up first. His hands and ankles are bound, and he’s stuffed awkwardly inside what has to be the trunk of a car. Lukas is beside him, facing him, his eyes closed. From what Philip can tell, Lukas is bound, too.

Philip tries to flip onto his back, but can barely even turn to the side. He can feel the car as it rumbles over the gravel, and the moment it hits smooth road he angles his legs and kicks out the taillight. He can’t move enough to stick his feet or arms out, but he’s hoping someone saw him kick out the light. It’s a long shot, but it’s something.

Lukas stirs beside him, pulling Philip’s attention back. He lets out a soft moan, lids fluttering. His eyes go wide when he realizes he’s trapped, and he starts to move, shoulders slamming into the top of the car. He tries to look around, but can’t move any more than Philip could.

“Philip, what’s going on? Where are we?” Lukas asks, craning his head to look behind him, before looking at Philip. His eyes are so full of fear it makes Philip feel sick; he imagines his own face mirrors it.

Keep reading

2

For anon…I based this off of some of his actual lines and reader is his girlfriend. Also, all the smacking is like those teasing smacks, if that makes sense. She’s not hitting him that hard.

“I thought you said this thing was fast,” Luke interjected.
“Watch your mouth, kid, or you’ll find yourself floating home,” Han shot back.

Y/N smacked the back of his head. He gave her a shocked expression.

“Just drive.”


“Look, your worshipfulness,” Han stated at Leia, “Let’s get one thing straight. I take orders from just one person, me.”

Y/N lifted her hand and smacked her boyfriend’s arm.

“Have some respect,” she shot back.

“It’s a wonder you’re still alive,” Leia replied calmly.

Y/N held back a giggle as she smirked.


“Well, they’re gonna kill her,” Luke screamed.

“Better her than me.”

Before her hand even hit his head, Han ducked. He gave her a smug smirk. She rolled her eyes before smacking his head, this time catching it.


“Come here, ya big coward.”

Chewbacca shook his head.

“Chewie, come here,” Han demanded.

He spun around, catching Y/N’s hand. He smirked.

“Do you have to keep hitting me in the head?”

“Only until you learn to be nice,” she replied with a smirk.

Grinning, he pulled her in for a soft, long kiss. She smiled against his lips. A moment later, they pulled apart.

“Better.”

Want to Request?

another reason that yuuri winning gold would feel so nice……… it’s victor’s success and validation, too.

i don’t mean this to take away from yuuri’s work and drive at all, i definitely don’t mean that. i’ve written essays on why i want the gold for yuuri, by yuuri, because of yuuri. but coaching is a legitimately difficult job, and victor’s gotten absolutely no acknowledgment of that and that he is actually doing a really good job for a totally inexperienced coach with no help or assistance. how many times have we heard someone basically smack down his decision to become a coach? “how long are you going to play at being a coach?” “when are you going to give up this ridiculous idea?” “i’m not going to lose to a third-rate coach” no one, this entire time, has believed in his ability to coach. except for yuuri: the most important person to believe in him.

this is more than a romantic thing. his athlete completely trusts him, but absolutely nobody else does. do you think victor wants to let yuuri down? the difference between victor and yuuri is that victor doesn’t suffer from anxiety, and he doesn’t let the talk get to him, and he really just wants yuuri to be happy and enjoy himself. but he also knows how desperately yuuri wants to win, and victor clearly really, really wants that for yuuri, too because yuuri wants it.

victor just plain likes being yuuri’s coach, win or lose, but no one believes that he’s serious about coaching at all. and yet here he is bringing out some of the most technically proficient skating yuuri katsuki has ever done, and to see that acknowledged and approved in-universe too (with a resounding acceptance that victor nikiforov the ice skating legend is dead, victor nikiforov the coach and married man is here to stay) would be really, really nice.

Christmas Movie Edition: Love Actually

This is it, people. It’s the day after Christmas, I’ve consumed more white wine in the past two days than the entire cast of Real Housewives of Orange County did all of last season and now I’ve been smacked by a soul-sucking stomach virus as retribution. So there’s only one thing left to do—take on the Mount Everest of Christmas movies. Oh yes, I’m talking about LOVE. FUCKING. ACTUALLY. Gird your loins.

00:00:37 Crikey, I always forget about the 9/11 airport angle they tried to shoehorn into this shit. Nobody looks that happy at the airport, NOBODY. I step foot into LaGuardia and instantly morph into a gremlin after midnight.

00:02:44 “Oh! Fuck wank bugger shitting arse head and hole!” Billy Mack is what my insides look and sound like.  

00:06:21 Drinking game: Take a shot every time you see a hideous turtleneck, sweater vest or any other form of aggressively patterned topwear.

00:07:14 DRINK, BITCHES. Also, Chiwetel Egiofor, you are a Commander of the Order of the British Empire—just say no to magenta on your goddamn wedding day.

However, fabulous lady behind you in the feathery magenta hat? YOU. BETTA. WERK.

00:08:30 “Anything to put off actually running a country.” Too real, Hugh Grant, too real.

00:10:04 Chiwetel Magentiofor is marrying Keira Knightley, who’s dressed like a glamorous chicken, so obviously these two are made for each other.

00:10:27 FOR GOD SAKES, LAURA LINNEY. You are a four-time Emmy-winning, three-time Tony-nominated, THREE-TIME OSCAR-NOMINATED WHIRLWIND OF TALENT. Who let you wear this crochet foreskin on your head to a wedding? WHO?

00:11:22 “Oh, pardon me, sorry about that, just have to shove my trombone under the church pew.” I hate everyone at this wedding.

00:12:23 Keira Knightley is mainlining champagne at her own wedding reception which, if I had a full cockatoo nesting in my updo, I would be, too.

00:13:46 “Colin, you’re a lonely, ugly asshole. And you must accept it.” Tony knows what’s up.

00:16:25 I know this is supposed to be a funeral and all but is there no indoor heat in the U.K.? Why is everyone and their mother dressed like they’re trudging through the tundra?  

00:16:41 Cue Natasha Richardson-related tears here.

00:18:17 Cue Alan Rickman-related tears here. Genuinely terrified of the day when everyone I know and love from Love Actually will have passed. Except for that fuckturd Colin. He can leave this earth at any time.

00:18:42 Double sweater-vest horror for the price of one. Drink and then drink again.  

00:19:28 Side drinking game: take a shot for every HR violation in this movie. GOODBYE LIVER, GOODBYE WORLD. 

00:22:24 Ok, so sometimes I’m Billy Mack but all the time, I’m his fat manager.

00:24:01 We’re just going to have to set up an IV of Hennessy for the entirety of the Prime Minister Hugh Grant/Not-Really-Fat-At-All Natalie subplot. Also anything involving that turtleneck trollop, Mia.

00:28:04 “No one’s ever going to shag you if you cry all the time.” Literally years of one-on-one sessions and NOT ONE therapist has ever summed up my life problems as succinctly as Emma Thompson just did.  

00:30:30 Laura Linney, I’m docking an Emmy for every godforsaken butterfly clip pinned to your already hideous sweater. I AM NOT FUCKING AROUND.  

00:33:20 We’re discussing Non-Fat Natalie’s non-fat thighs whilst in the Prime Minister’s office. You know what to do.

00:35:16 Me

00:36:40 Kentucky Fried Keira might be wearing one of those wildlife-killing plastic soda rings around her neck. Sartorially offensive and environmentally irresponsible. 

00:36:55 Professor Snape just smacked Sad Laura Linney in the workplace but she is wearing a sweater that looks like it’s knitted from the stomach spew of a drunkard, so she 100% deserves it.

00:37:33 The Turtleneck Trollop is trying to seduce Professor Snape in this getup. Girl, it literally looks like you wrapped your English muffin in origami. DO LESS.

00:39:19 Oh for fuck’s sake, I totally forgot about that “Mr. Darcy boinks the Portuguese help” subplot. Can anyone be employed in this fudging movie without penetrating their coworkers? Anyone?! NOT EVEN THE FUCKING PRESIDENT CAN KEEP IT IN HIS PANTS.

00:44:42 The Prime Minister just basically launched WWIII because he wants Non-Fat Natalie’s non-fat thighs all to himself. Sadly, this doesn’t seem all that far-fetched considering our current batshit political climate.

00:46:47 I’m not saying I’ve recreated this exact dance in my underpants whilst alone in my apartment but I am saying it’s happened a couple thousand times.  

00:49:03 I’m going to need an entire dissertation paper on why the Portuguese help had to disrobe down to her underpants but Colin Firth got to keep on THREE LAYERS OF SHIRTS when they go into the lake for his dump typewritten pages. I want that shit APA style and with full citations and multiple sections dedicated to the Mr. Darcy wet-shirt scene from Pride and Prejudice, you hear me? Also, you should be chugging alcohol straight from a garbage can based on the HR violations in this scene alone.  

00:53:11 “I know you’ve never particularly warmed to me.” Well, Kentucky Fried Keira, that might be because you insist upon dressing like the homeless pigeon lady from Home Alone 2.

00:58:02 THIS BITCH. We all know that this bitch just wants to have her own private audience with the Prime Minister’s prime minister and that’s why she’s size-shaming Non-Fat Natalie’s non-fat thighs. If we’re gonna get real, girl, Chris Kirkpatrick had your hairstyle for most of the ’90s and it ain’t doing you no favors, either.

01:03:21 Now, we can all agree that Thomas Brodie-Sangster was one of the cutest children to ever walk the planet, but we’ve got to talk about the hair height on this poor child. Exactly how many foreheads does he actually have under there?

01:04:12 FOUR FLOWER BROOCHES? That’s it, Laura Lonely, I’m taking away your Golden Globes, too.

01:05:37 The Turtleneck Trollop is wearing devil horns to the office Christmas party. At least you can’t accuse her of subtlety.

01:10:10 Laura Lonely is trying to get all up on her co-worker Karl because he looks like he stars in the porn parody of Aladdin but she keeps getting clam-jammed by her unwell brother and it’s just like CAN SOMEONE CUT LAURA LINNEY A GODDAMN BREAK IN THIS MOVIE? She had to go topless for this bullshit and is constantly covered in hideous brooches and FOR WHAT? Not even a little jammin’ of the clammin’ from real-life Aladdin? FOR SHAME.

01:18:05 The Turtleneck Trollop coerced Professor Snape into buying her jewelry without even serving up her English muffin to him yet. She’s a grade-A slutbag but you gotta admit, she’s masterful. Also, if I were on the brink of breaking up a marriage and ruining a family, it would have to be for something that doesn’t look a gold nugget that’s been pooped out and put on a string.

01:20:04 Listen to me: I adore Alan Rickman and mourn his passing on a near-daily basis but the way he says “yogurt” has haunted me for fifteen fucking years and now even more so because I’ve discovered AN ENTIRE SONG OF IT.

01:25:25 Know how you know Colin’s is the worst subplot of Love Actually? It’s soundtracked to not only “Smooth” but also “Wherever You Will Go.” It goes without saying but we’ll be skipping his scenes from here on out.

01:29:39 Try to argue that Emma Thompson didn’t deserve an Oscar nomination for these three minutes of exceptional acting alone. YOU CAN’T.

01:32:34 This woman only had one scene and she and her overacting eyebrow were going to make it COUNT.

01:34:43 I yell out “I HATE UNCLE JAMIE” at least twice a week, for no reason at all. I wish I was kidding.

01:36:36 The last we see of Laura Lonely, she’s hugging her brother which, okay, cute, but we both know you’d rather be hugging that beautifully tanned Aladdin dick. WE BOTH KNOW IT.

01:37:59 Okay, so we’re at the scene. And I have SO MANY QUESTIONS. Firstly, how did Rick Grimes know that Kentucky Fried Keira was going to answer the door and not Chiwetel Magentiofor? What was the back-up plan, with you standing there with a boom box and notecards declaring your undying love for his wife? What if KFK didn’t play along with the carol singers bit? MANY QUESTIONS, NO ANSWERS. But, real talk, if a dude looking like Andrew Lincoln showed up to my door with all of this fuckery, I would relocate myself into that perfect little chin dimple of his and never come back out, bye.

01:41:10 I am 100% behind this old-man ship between Billy Mack and his fat manager. Which I think also means that I ship myself, er, with myself. Sounds about right.

01:42:12 That earth-shaking screech you just heard was my soul leaving its earthly form due to the fact that a movie about Christmas SPELLED FUCKING CHRISTMAS WRONG.

01:43:41 Why didn’t the Prime Minister just take the goddamn envelope with Non-Fat Natalie’s return address on it for when he searched for her apartment? I’m legitimately getting a migraine from trying to make this movie make any sense.

01:52:09 Yes, the performing kids are adorable but the sparkly scarf-wearing, obviously-gay back-up singing teacher is the real winner of the Christmas talent show. 

02:01:25 What is this half-yarmulke that Mini Mariah is wearing to the airport? Also, Five-Head Tommy wouldn’t be able to catch Mini Mariah in time because Heathrow is the seventh circle of hell and also when the guards do catch him, he 100% would be interrogated in the tiny terrorism room because of 9/11 but no, racial profiling and ARGAPSGAIHATGAEIS.

02:04:46 Mr. Darcy is proposing to his Portuguese help even though he doesn’t know her and only spent a few weeks talking at her but she has a cute little lower back tattoo and that’s all he needs to know! Also, I love Colin Firth as an actor but his on-screen kisses look like those adult virgin couples smooching for the first time at their wedding. What is your hand doing? 

02:09:31 And now we’re back at the airport and all of the subplots have woven together unrealistically and everyone’s hugging and not miserable and I STILL HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS. Like how are Kentucky Fried Keira and Rick Grimes going to hang out with Chiwetel Magentiofor like nothing happened? Does he ever find out? Does the weight of their collective lie ruin their beautiful biracial marriage? Also, does Emma Thompson go crazy from resentment over Professor Snape cheating on her and kill him in a rage soundtracked to Joni Mitchell? And how does Non-Fat Natalie handle the public pressure of dating the Prime Minister? And does she use her vag power to have him fire Chris Kirkpatrick who shamed her non-fat thighs? AND WHERE THE FUCK DID LAURA LINNEY GO? Someone send me Pepto-Bismol and a new brain, please and thank you. 

anonymous asked:

Hi erm I don't know if this makes sense !!! Basically I have ADHD and one thing I've noticed lately is how irritated i get when I hear someone chewing, like it actually hurts the back of my head and I want to explode, please tell me if this is to do with anything sensory I don't understand it !

I am the same way! Mouth noises in general (breathing, chewing, swallowing, lip smacking, etc.) I have SPD so I always figured it was tied to that. I actually wear ear defenders to help block out noise from other people so that I can focus and stay calm, because otherwise I get super agitated and angry.

you're not wearing any underwear

jb: he’s tempted. he wants to touch you so bad, but he likes to hold himself back. his eyes follow you wherever you go.

mark: he’s getting closer to you so slowly you don’t even notice. he’s so close to touching you. he actually loves when you tease him like this.

jackson: one of the view members that’d be physical with you. he’d smack your ass and squeeze it before letting go. he’d whisper things in your ear.

junior: he’s watching you so intently. he’s waiting for you to bend over just to get a good view. he’s verbal, he tells you to come over to him.

youngjae: it shocks him and he lets out a sharp shriek. he’s cheeks are turning pink and his words are stutters. he wants to keep looking at you, but he feels ashamed to do it.

bambam: he’s a bit cocky. hes smiling to himself. another member that would be physical with you. he grabs your wrist to pull you close to him.

yugyeom: at first, he’s surprised at you. eventually, he brings you close to him. he presses himself against you. he wants you, now.

Axis and Allies taking care of sick s/o!:

America/Alfred F. Jones-
He might as well be one of those Saint Bernard’s that brings you whisky. Because that’s about as useful as he’ll be. He’ll cook you canned soup (probably still in the actual can.) and offer you massages, though I caution you they’re a bit rough on sore muscles. Basically he just get an A+ for effort.  
China/Yao Wang-
Very, very good at nursing a cold. Although you may feel like a child rather than a partner. He constantly smacks your hand when you reach for things. Always reprimands you for even standing. You’d have to remind him that you are an adult and can make your way to the bathroom alone.
England/Arthur Kirkland-
*sigh* IF YOU DON’T THINK HE WILL FORCE GALLONS OF HERBAL TEAS DOWN YOU THROAT YOU ARE DEAD WRONG.
France/Francis Bonnefoy-
*deeper sigh* Okay, yes, technically, sex can boost your immune system and help you get over colds. But that doesn’t mean you need Mr. Grabby hands here suggesting it as he seductively rubs Vics vapor rub on your chest. (He does cook for you though, and snuggles you every time you ask.)
Russia/Ivan Braginsky-
You will basically have a butler at your beck and call. Which was a little surprising, seeing as he usually works through his colds. He brings you fresh food and really tries his best to be comforting. You’d get light messages and tons of stories to pas the time and help you sleep.  
Axis:
Germany/Ludwig Beilschmidt-
Another text book care giver. You receive hourly glasses of water and nutrition. While he can’t stand any one around him getting sick he keeps all concerns to himself. He wants you healed as quickly as possible, he very much hates sickness. But he doesn’t hesitate a single second when you ask for a little extra affection.
Italy/Feliciano Vargas-
He will snuggle with you constantly and insist he won’t leave your side until you’re better. He rubs you back and feet, and anything else you want. Cooks the second you ask him to and also bathes with you. (Fairly sure he enjoys it a little more than you do)
Japan/Kiku Honda-
He knows what to do…but no clue how to do it. He gives you space, thinking it’s what you would want. But if you requested his presence he’d happily give it (albeit worried.) Once warmed up he becomes a mother like China.

*About Jinyoung’s penalty ass smacks*

BIG Benji: “but, can we actually broadcast this?”

Me: remembers this exists

umm yeah I think you’re good Benji



(gif credit to @defwang which i’m adding here because I don’t know if I did it right in the above one r.i.p me )

2

Requested by anonymous


Your job with the team and Felicity was to help the Arrow with locating villains and doing research. You liked that you were able to help them help the city and you especially liked that you go to hang out with Felicity.

She was very sweet and relatively innocent so when your boisterous personality had revealed itself after you got over your nerves that had surprised her. Your flirtatious tendencies never failed to make her blush.

“Good evening Felicity, looking lovely like always,” you commented, settling into the chair next to hers.

A slight flush fell over her cheeks and you resisted the urge to snicker. It was too easy and she looked so cute when she blushed. Actually that would be a good thing to say to her.

“You look even more adorable when you blush,” you teased.

She smacked your arm clearly not trusting herself to speak without rambling and embarrassing herself further. You had told her day one you didn’t mind her rambles and that you thought it was endearing, but she didn’t believe or didn’t want to give you more fuel for teasing.

“(Y/N) can we focus?” Oliver’s stern voice came through the coms and you sighed. Always the killjoy that one.

“Sorry Oliver,” you half apologized, slipping on a headset and straightening in your chair to get ready for orders.

“(Y/N) I need you to find the owner of a black sedan with the license plate: AFT-874. Felicity you need to access the traffic cameras to see if you can keep up with this guy.”

You assumed this was the guy that the team had been chasing all week. A heavy drug trafficker, but somehow completely unknown amongst the common circles. You had no idea what this guy looked like, admittedly you guys didn’t even known if this person was a guy, that’s how little you knew about him.

You snuck a mischievous glance to Felicity. She was concentrating fully on her assigned task, yours had been finished seconds ago and you had sent the information to Felicity and relayed it Oliver as well.

You switched off the coms for a second and leaned over to her to whisper even though there was no one else around it would still startle her.

“Smart, capable and hot? How is Oliver not all over you.”

“(Y/N)!” She cried, but you switched on the coms and sent her a wicked grin.

“What’s going on over there?” Oliver barked.

“No-nothing,” Felicity stuttered.

You winked and she sent you a death glare.

“I’ll get you back (Y/N),” she threatened.

those OTHER ladies in Love and Rockets: Locas

i’m a lousy critic, insofar as i experience a huge gap between neutral-to-negative reactions, and then way on the other end of the scale, unreasonable fanaticism with a dash of unconditional love for anything and anyone i’m really tickled by. for instance, ever since i first started to see other bloggers talking smack about love & rockets’ hapless male lead ray dominguez, i’ve found myself stifling a shrill cry of HOW CAN U SAY ANYTHING BAD ABOUT JAIME HERNANDEZ OR LOCAS without even reading almost any of the actual criticism.

i guess i feel like it’s so unusual for me to enjoy anything that i don’t really want to dampen the moment by thinking about how my favorite things could be better than good. in this case, though, the dissing of ray helped me admit that there are not one but TWO locas characters–coincidentally, characters that we chiefly see through ray’s eyes–that i could do without, who i feel are not only unpleasant but nearly identical: vivian the frogmouth, and penny century.

it’s very likely that my allergic reaction to these two mammarian megaliths has mainly to do with their physical perfection–somewhat rare from an artist known for aging his characters naturally and including nearly every body type known to man in this lengthy punk rock soap–and the fact that this perfection is supposed to be “cleverly” offset by their “charming” personality flaws. i find that all to be a pretty cheap trick, and i don’t really have room in my brain for extra reasons that people should worship and adore, you know, hot chicks who do whatever they want.

trophy wife and wannabe superheroine penny century has been a mainstay in locas since the beginning, chiefly driving men (well, and most everybody else) to the brink of madness with her one-two punch of having a bitchin’ bod, and bats in her belfry. she seems to be modeled on jayne mansfield’s screen presence: she’s preposterously sexy, often nude or nearly so for no reason, and insuppressibly bubbly–but deep down, she’s hobbled by her own traumas and craving for love. it’s true that, in the latter years, jaime cooked up a terrific flashback to penny’s fraught juvenile delinquency, picturing her as a scary and not especially bright bully whose dreams of having super powers were symptomatic of the grim poverty and boredom from which she suffered in her daily life. i like angry chola penny a lot, but this glimpse of her past is just a blip on the radar amid a vast collection of scenes of her gyrating across the page in lingerie (or not) accompanied by lengthy, lusty paeans to her by erstwhile lover and obvious hernandez stand-in ray dominguez. call me crazy, but the idea that men ruin their lives over big titties doesn’t seem that radical, and i find the perpetuation of the sirenic “crazy girl” archetype pretty irritating. in a comic rife with startlingly realistic and relatable characters, do we really NEED this bullshit straight dude fantasy?

but then again, who am i to say that the penny century character is nothing but fantastical bullshit. i certainly believe that everything that can happen, has happened, and there’s no reason why there couldn’t be women in the world who are born with incredible bodies, and suffer enough to have depth of soul. (i mean…i LOVE certifiable genius jayne mansfield) i guess it’s just that penny in particular, and viv the frogmouth, don’t especially convince me to take interest. viv is yet another perfectly shaped nutcase who ray takes up with while he’s waiting silently for the real star of the comic, frumpy old maggie, to come back to him. unlike golden girl penny, viv is a snarling, psychotic stripper cursed with a vulgar croak and haunted by her mob relations. however, much LIKE penny, the frogmouth seems to inspire first unbearable lust, then rage, then love and compassion in men around her–or at least ray. she’s intolerable for obvious reasons, and somehow, impossible to say no to, and nearly everyone seems to feel sorry for the doomed creature at the end of the day. even though they’re from opposite sides of the tracks, viv and penny tell the same old story, complete with noirish asides from ray about how character X is infuriating yet impossible to give up. moreover, if you take away the differences in hair color and most used facial expressions, i usually feel like the two women are drawn in exactly the same way, which is the norm for superhero comics i avoid, and disappointing from jaime hernandez.

i’m trying to remain aware of the possibility that i’m just a bitter old cunt, and i react poorly any time i’m asked to sympathize with women who appear to represent the straight male ideal. it’s also possible that i’m suffering from something SLIGHTLY more complex, and rather the opposite: that in spite of the fact that penny and viv are my least favorite characters, i’m unable to believe that while ray is carousing with these überwomen, all he can think of is regular ol’ maggie. it’s hard for me to accept the premise that maggie wouldn’t have been permanently friendzoned in the face of ray’s other sexual options (and i’m not even mentioning the third, danita, who is a totally different type of character, though with nearly the same exact proportions. sad face). i obviously don’t know if i want more political correctness from jaime, to have him stop churning out these spank bank characters, or if i’d rather have him give in completely to the idea that no natural-looking woman would have a chance with a guy like ray in the scenarios depicted. i guess i just don’t know what i want. how stereotypically feminine of me.

PS for no reason, i look almost exactly like this.

Episode 9.  Saionji gets a third try.  What a special boy!

Kendo is not a good way to prepare for an actual swordfight, particularly one where the goal is to knock a rose off of someone’s chest rather than to cave their skull in.  No wonder the fencer (the one who isn’t 12) never loses.

The action proper opens with Saionji yelling at the monkey whose body had until recently housed his soul.  He shows Chu Chu his true power [again, kicking] and talks smack with Utena for a while.  Saionji is awfully sweary for a student council nerd.

We learn that Touga is Saonji’s shining thing (or eternal thing, as he styles it), although due to Saionji’s overwhelming masculinity this manifests itself as a competitive rather than a carnal desire.  Saionji is laboring under something of a misapprehension re Touga’s access to eternity, but let’s put that aside for now: Touga was still a brave enough boy to push open a coffin and get the girl, and Saionji wasn’t.

If that’s not a recipe for a lifelong inferiority complex, I don’t know what is.

Utena doesn’t get a face in this flashback, which is probably because Saionji doesn’t know that she was the coffin-dweller, but – if you’ll let me reach – it’s also because there’s no humanity in her at this moment, for him. She’s pure symbol, Girl in Coffin. Getting the girl out of the coffin is a magic trick, like pulling a rabbit out of a hat.  Saionji wants to be magic, and he wants to use people as his talismans, as the symbols in his thaumaturgical alphabet.   That means that he can’t see that Girl in Coffin and Irritating Tomboy are the same person, even though there’s nobody else for miles around with pink hair.

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There are SO MANY reasons why Strom’s death broke my heart, but the main one is that Scarlet and Wolf both missed out on a friendship they both desperately needed.

I need that scene when Wolf meets Strom for the first time, maybe Strom assumes he’s a threat and tries to attack or maybe they meet after all the fighting is done. Either way the first thing Strom says is some snarky remark about Wolf not being as pretty as he expected and Scarlet is about .2 seconds from smacking him when Wolf actually laughs. Because Strom isn’t what Wolf expected from a full-on Lunar soldier, he’s vicious and violent and blood-thirsty as all hell but he’s not a bad person. And rather than being possessive or weird about Scarlet’s friendship with Strom he actually thanks him for helping her, for taking her side despite the risk.

And I need Strom being Wolf and Scarlet’s main resource for all the weird crap that comes with being a Lunar soldier. Strom’s been a full-on Lunar soldier for ten years, he’s already gone through the truly horrible transition process where your body is ripped up, sewn back together and pumped full of enough hormones to seriously screw you up. He understands the extreme hunger pangs, the sudden bouts of violence and the strange cravings that come with having your genetic information tampered with. And Wolf, despite having been in the LSOP, is not the least bit prepared for those things. He probably has hormone blockers to help reduce the effects of the surgery and genetic tampering, but that doesn’t mean he’s “normal”. Strom gets used to answering weird questions like “why do I suddenly want to eat dirt” with “you need iron, we’re supposed to run on meat not vegetables, eat a damn steak”, and “how did you get you used to the sensitivity to light and sound?” with “You can’t avoid it, you’ll get used to it after a few weeks”. And in return Scarlet helps him with getting used to civilian life, giving him lists of things he should know about (”Yes you do have to pay taxes you moocher, it’s not hard”), and checking up on him when things get hard. She drags him back into society kicking and screaming because despite his gallows humor and sarcasm, she knows that’s what he needs. Of all her former soldiers he’s the one she felt the strongest connection with and she refuses to let him be a hermit. He stays on Luna, Earth isn’t exactly hospitable to Lunar soldiers, and he tries to get used to being mostly human again.

Protip for FFXIV Mentors:

Maybe don’t /slap and/or shit talk new people, ESPECIALLY NEW HEALERS, when you didn’t bother to explain jack shit to them. Bonus points for if they said they’re brand spankin’ new, and/or if a non-mentor explains the fight to them (while you sat on your ass).

You are the reason people look down on mentors.
You are the reason people talk smack about mentors.
You are the reason people hate mentors - even the ones who actually want to do some good.

I don’t give a flying fuck if you’re “doing farms 40-50 mentor roulette” (exact words from one of you, I have proof) - actually, if you’re farming and want it to go fast, you should be actually mentoring. Mentoring (teaching) makes things go faster and helps people learn the content! WHAT A NOVEL CONCEPT. IT’S ALMOST LIKE THAT’S WHAT MENTOR STATUS IS FOR.

If you are wearing that crown, you are a symbol of authority and knowledge. You are choosing to wear a badge that says, “Come to me, I can help you learn this.” So pull your head out of your ass and take your ego down a notch or two. New players are going to make mistakes. EXPERIENCED players are going to make mistakes.

Show a little goddamn responsibility.

And if you can’t do that?

Turn. Off. The. Crown.

I dug around spiderman/deadpool team up comic issues a bit (at least what I can find online) because I wanted to know why this whole spideypool (b)romance/ship started at all, and I quickly noticed why:

1. Deadpool’s interest in Spiderman isn’t exactly….subtle. His interest in Spiderman is pretty consistent throughout the series.

  • Deadpool thinks about Spiderman A LOT. I mean, the spider-dude even shows up in Wade’s hallucinations/daydreams one way or another. 
  • Deadpool makes a lot of Spiderman references. More often compared to the other pop-culture/media/4th-wall references he makes.

2.Spiderman actually treats Deadpool more nicely/humanely compared to other heroes. Sure, he doesn’t agree/like how Deadpool handles things since it goes against his morals, but he doesn’t seem to hate the guy. Extremely annoyed/weirded out and ready to smack the guy for bloody things he does? yes. hate? hmmm… I dunno…..ooo…..mmm I’m not getting that feel from him.

3. Deadpool and Spiderman, the two mouthiest wisecrackers in the whole hero universe, banter and have conversations: the two words these two hear the most from other heroes/villains are probably “Shut Up”. But when these two meet, the conversation is not one-sided. They ‘click’ together well, and get each other’s jokes and references (unless it’s a 4th wall joke).

4. They show up in each others’ comics a lot. They partner up quite often too. They also make homoerotic jabs (idk why. writers, explain.). Now their relationship is deemed in and outside of America as a ‘weird friendship that’s also kind of gay.’ 

5. It’s quite funny/hilarious when they pair up. 

It’s kinda hard to NOT ship them tbh. 

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Not that we need any more confirmation, but I’m just going to further confirm that this is indeed a picture of Harry and Louis’ shared wardrobe. As evidenced by the the grey adidas smack dab in the middle of the wardrobe picture and on Louis’ actual feet. Carry on.