actual-thing-that-exists

dizzymosquito  asked:

Oz number 13, Scott 31, and Kenny 23.

13. What is your OCs earliest memory?

Oz has an amazing memory. He can recall events all the way back to his childhood, as young as two years old. He remembers having to share a stroller with his two brothers (they’re triplets), stealing their toys from their hands, and throwing them into the street. Gotta start asserting dominance at an early age, obviously.

31. Does your OC believe in fairies?

Scott believes in a lot of things, because a lot of things actually exist where he’s from. Demons, angels, giants, werewolves, vampires, zombies, bigfoot… but fairies? Nah. Fairies are bullshit. Don’t believe the tabloids.

23. Whats your OCs biggest secret?

Kenny isn’t good at keeping secrets, at all… ever. Anything that’d be considered a “big secret” is sure to erupt from his mouth, in a boisterous fashion, as soon as possible. So, I guess “big secrets” don’t exist in Kennyland.

s-noells  asked:

I'm about 90% sure that Lin looks almost exactly like Lao's child. Both characters share grey eyes and black hair, which are traits that could easily be passed over genetically. Which is probably why Lao was so hesitant to hurt her. And why he was so willing to listen to her despite not having any history with her.

clearly this is absolutely irrefutable evidence to prove that lin is chenshi’s long lost sister, or charmaine’s, it was never actually made clear which one was the spouse and which the child to my knowledge, or maybe lao had two spouses, and lin is their secret child that they had to give up because they were too busy doing very vague important life things, also earth never existed and L is actually god and the real final boss is to fight his final form but it’s actually just him trying to sell you things for the entire battle

So a few weeks ago I managed to writhe my way through DRAMAtical Murder! AKA Freudian Psychology: The Gay Dating Sim.  I was pleasantly surprised to find that it was actually like 80% plot (and like 5% gore, 5% porn, and 10%gorn but meh).   And hey it was certainly the first game I’ve played where the main character becomes sexually involved with a personification of his superego who spent most of its existence as a robot pomeranian and who later inhabits the body of the main’s character’s long lost twin brother, so uh… kudos for originality?  Anyway the point of this ramble is that I bought some micron pens and wanted to mess with them so here have Aobas?  Sly Blues?  Slyobas??

(Also theoretically it’s transparent but idk man these uploading to tumblr shenanigans are beyond me so if it’s not then OH WELL)

newyorker.com
L.P.D.: Libertarian Police Department

I was shooting heroin and reading “The Fountainhead” in the front seat of my privately owned police cruiser when a call came in. I put a quarter in the radio to activate it. It was the chief.

“Bad news, detective. We got a situation.”

“What? Is the mayor trying to ban trans fats again?”

“Worse. Somebody just stole four hundred and forty-seven million dollars’ worth of bitcoins.”

The heroin needle practically fell out of my arm. “What kind of monster would do something like that? Bitcoins are the ultimate currency: virtual, anonymous, stateless. They represent true economic freedom, not subject to arbitrary manipulation by any government. Do we have any leads?”

“Not yet. But mark my words: we’re going to figure out who did this and we’re going to take them down … provided someone pays us a fair market rate to do so.”

“Easy, chief,” I said. “Any rate the market offers is, by definition, fair.”

He laughed. “That’s why you’re the best I got, Lisowski. Now you get out there and find those bitcoins.”

“Don’t worry,” I said. “I’m on it.”

I put a quarter in the siren. Ten minutes later, I was on the scene. It was a normal office building, strangled on all sides by public sidewalks. I hopped over them and went inside.

“Home Depot™ Presents the Police!®” I said, flashing my badge and my gun and a small picture of Ron Paul. “Nobody move unless you want to!” They didn’t.

“Now, which one of you punks is going to pay me to investigate this crime?” No one spoke up.

“Come on,” I said. “Don’t you all understand that the protection of private property is the foundation of all personal liberty?”

It didn’t seem like they did.

“Seriously, guys. Without a strong economic motivator, I’m just going to stand here and not solve this case. Cash is fine, but I prefer being paid in gold bullion or autographed Penn Jillette posters.”

Nothing. These people were stonewalling me. It almost seemed like they didn’t care that a fortune in computer money invented to buy drugs was missing.

I figured I could wait them out. I lit several cigarettes indoors. A pregnant lady coughed, and I told her that secondhand smoke is a myth. Just then, a man in glasses made a break for it.

“Subway™ Eat Fresh and Freeze, Scumbag!®” I yelled.

Too late. He was already out the front door. I went after him.

“Stop right there!” I yelled as I ran. He was faster than me because I always try to avoid stepping on public sidewalks. Our country needs a private-sidewalk voucher system, but, thanks to the incestuous interplay between our corrupt federal government and the public-sidewalk lobby, it will never happen.

I was losing him. “Listen, I’ll pay you to stop!” I yelled. “What would you consider an appropriate price point for stopping? I’ll offer you a thirteenth of an ounce of gold and a gently worn ‘Bob Barr ‘08’ extra-large long-sleeved men’s T-shirt!”

He turned. In his hand was a revolver that the Constitution said he had every right to own. He fired at me and missed. I pulled my own gun, put a quarter in it, and fired back. The bullet lodged in a U.S.P.S. mailbox less than a foot from his head. I shot the mailbox again, on purpose.

“All right, all right!” the man yelled, throwing down his weapon. “I give up, cop! I confess: I took the bitcoins.”

“Why’d you do it?” I asked, as I slapped a pair of Oikos™ Greek Yogurt Presents Handcuffs® on the guy.

“Because I was afraid.”

“Afraid?”

“Afraid of an economic future free from the pernicious meddling of central bankers,” he said. “I’m a central banker.”

I wanted to coldcock the guy. Years ago, a central banker killed my partner. Instead, I shook my head.

“Let this be a message to all your central-banker friends out on the street,” I said. “No matter how many bitcoins you steal, you’ll never take away the dream of an open society based on the principles of personal and economic freedom.”

He nodded, because he knew I was right. Then he swiped his credit card to pay me for arresting him.

do you ever remember that dan and phil live outside of their videos? like i know it sounds really obvious but do you realise that dan and phil are living their lives right now?? somewhere in london dan and phil are existing, like they could be cooking or watching tv or chatting in their lounge and just living their lives side by side. that makes me truly happy

4

Scott + looking at Stiles as if he’s literally the center of his universe

Part I: Stiles

5

The time Phil discovered Amazon Prime

(Also called “Frying Pan biatch” by our Lord and saviour dinofvyou1)

Bonus : He actually bought a frying pan !!


the high/low point: misogyny time!
  • CLINTON: You know, he tried to switch from looks to stamina. But this is a man who has called women pigs, slobs and dogs, and someone who has said pregnancy is an inconvenience to employers, who has said...
  • TRUMP: I never said that.
  • CLINTON: .... women don't deserve equal pay unless they do as good a job as men.
  • TRUMP: I didn't say that.
  • CLINTON: And one of the worst things he said was about a woman in a beauty contest. He loves beauty contests, supporting them and hanging around them. And he called this woman "Miss Piggy." Then he called her "Miss Housekeeping," because she was Latina. Donald, she has a name.
  • TRUMP: Where did you find this? Where did you find this?
  • CLINTON: Her name is Alicia Machado.
  • TRUMP: Where did you find this?
  • CLINTON: And she has become a U.S. citizen, and you can bet...
  • TRUMP: Oh, really?
  • CLINTON: ... she's going to vote this November.

apparently reylo “erases finn from his own narrative”?

sorry, didn’t realize finn’s sole narrative purpose was to be a romantic interest to rey and couldn’t exist in the narrative non-romantically