actual words his character said btw

anonymous asked:

thanks for answering my question (I guess 'look' is a strong word? 'look'='appearence' so I should hav used 'assume') many fans seem to assume Alec's a virgin bc of his blushing&stuttering. but one of my gay friend's very shy and is not a virgin. fans think that being shy, stammering=a virgin?? so I started to wonder if I missed smthg. and I'm not opposed to the idea of Alec being a virgin. sorry it's my lack of Eng.&choosing a wrong words if it sounded like that

Your English is fine! Anyway, while such fans do exist, many others just assume it since it’s canon from the books and because both show and books make it clear that Alec is so deep in the closet he’s made it his home, and thus would’ve likely not experimented with other men prior to Magnus (especially if, as he states in Kissed, he’s never been kissed by anyone before)

If you’re referring to the post I reblogged, it was meant to be a cheeky stab at stereotypes so obviously the creator didn’t get​​ into any of the nuances of characterization and I’m guessing people like myself reblogged it with that understanding. But I will say here that I don’t believe the reasons for Alec’s stuttering have to do with sexual experience or lack thereof. Alec stutters when he has trouble finding the words to express his thoughts and because he doesn’t deal well with being pushed outside his comfort zone. If he were shoved in front of a podium to make an impromptu speech, I can guarantee you he would stutter just the same. It’s just that since his feelings towards Magnus are so new and confusing, much of when we see him struggle to find his words is around Magnus.

Overall, though, Alec is not shy a person (reserved and introverted =/= shy) and fans who insist on characterizing him as a literal shy stuttering virgin who must be protected have missed the point of his character. Even with Magnus, Alec has no trouble telling him to back off when he’s had enough. Alec is a goddamn bull and once he’s decided on a course of action, the only thing that can sway him from his path is if he himself chooses to. Like, he basically told his father “deal with it this is your fault” when confronted about his engagement to Lydia, and then actually said “deal with it” out loud to his parents later when they tried to give him shit for kissing Magnus. This is not to say Alec cannot be vulnerable because he absolutely can, but acknowledging a character’s vulnerability is not the same as woobifying them. (I’m so glad for that word btw because there’s no other to describe this phenomenon that’s so exclusive to fans’ reactions to white male characters).

Basically, Alec possesses a lot of stereotypical masculine/hypermasculine traits, but subverts them by a) being gay and b) having not had sex well into his early 20s, the typical age bracket where men are supposed to have done it already or else they’re still “little boys.” Acting as if he’s a delicate flower erases this important subversion of tropes. So don’t worry, you haven’t missed something when you come across fans who incorrectly conflate his virginity with his being super shy, as if sexual experience somehow defines one’s personality.