actual shit i've said

BTS as things I've said during finals
  • Jin: I've been in this class for two years and the only thing I learned was that Ethan can eat a whole lemon in two minutes
  • Yoongi: I stopped studying once my Spotify free trial ended
  • Hoseok: *had two weeks to do an essay* *started the night it's due*
  • Namjoon: I should've listened three years ago
  • Jimin: If anyone gets 100% I will hunt them down and I'll probably cover their doorknob in Vaseline so they know what it feels like to have victory slipping away from them
  • Taehyung: The only thing I did to prepare myself was watching all seasons of Haikyuuu in two days
  • Jungkook: Why get an A for 'awful' when you can get an F for 'fantastic work keep it up!'
BTS as shit I say

Seokjin: Everything you feed me is a lie.

Yoongi: When I’m alone, I try and communicate with the devil. I heard he’s a great conversationalist.

Hoseok: I’m feeling bruised, abused and confused

Namjoon: I didn’t even touch it and it broke.

Jimin: I love you…I love you…I love you….I SAID I LOVE YOU GIVE ME ATTENTION

Taehyung: Meth fucks my brain. MATH. I MEANT MATH!

Jungkook: Apparently there are hot singles near me.

@pearlo said:

Do V and Y get a lot of creepy people coming up to them when the kids are babies to coo about how biracial kids are the ~most beautiful~

YES AND IT’S SO BAD ALL THE TIME. It’s a different flavor racism than the one Yuuri dealt with in Michigan but it’s JUST AS BAD and bad in SO MANY DIFFERENT WAYS depending on which one of them the person sees with the kids or if it’s both of them???

One time Viktor is watching Irina’s ballet practice when she’s like five, waving through the studio’s glass when she looks at him and smiling as she does her clumsy little plies

Another father walks up to him and asks which one is yours? And Viktor points out Irina.

“Oh, wow,” says the other father. “She’ll be a looker when she grows up.”

“Um,” Viktor mutters, because that’s a weird thing to say to him about his five-year-old. 

“I mean, she’s part Chinese right?”

Viktor squints dangerously. “My husband is Japanese.”

“Oh, well. You know. They all look the same. But I’ve never seen an ugly Asian girl. She’s gonna be real pretty.”

Viktor takes Irina out of that ballet class and starts sending her to private lessons with Lilia, which is what Lilia has been WANTING THIS WHOLE TIME VIKTOR KONSTANTINOVICH I TOLD YOU. I TOLD YOU.

On the other hand, when Yuuri is alone with Mikhail, little old European ladies keep coming up to him and pinching Mikhail’s cheeks and saying things like, “Mixed babies are just adorable,” and Yuuri wants to physically slap their hands away from his child.

It’s equally as creepy though when people HIS AGE, LATE TWENTIES EARLY THIRTIES, look at his babies and say, “Oh, I want my babies to look just like that! Like, Asian but without the eyes! They’re so cute that way!” and then hastily and fervently glancing at him and saying, “No offense!”

It gets better when they go back to Japan but like even there?? even there sometimes people say backwards shit. Kyo and Koichi are born and a lot of people say they have “Anime eyes” because they’re so blue. Yuuri has to go into Emma’s school once because someone is teasing her so badly about having a big nose that she doesn’t want to go to school. Twelve-year-old Mikhail begs them to let him dye his hair black so that he “looks normal.”

Which, like, they’d let him dye his hair whatever color he wanted–it’s impermanent and something he can have agency over even at a young age–but not because he feels like he has to, y’know?

But yes people are horrible and Yuuri and Viktor Nikiforov just want people to let their babies LIVE and not say weird creepy things about them??? Also Yuuri Nikiforov is going to fight the FUCKING WORLD if one more person screams at him a slow voice?? He speaks perfect Russian? He studied it for five years in college?? Why is it that he’s the one who gets talked to like a child when Viktor is the one who STILL sometimes goes blank in the face and just blindly agrees to whatever it is the person he’s speaking Japanese to has just said to him.

“Is the moon made of cheese, Viktor?” Mari once asks a very tired Viktor, trying to smother her laughter as she watches him rock back and forth with both twins and their matching stuffed tigers cradled in his arms. Six-week-old Kyo and Koichi have had a case of the sniffles and, while not serious, it’s been a hell of a weekend.

“Uhhh yes,” Viktor mumbles, eyes half open. “It’s fine.”

Yuuri takes a break from wanting to sleep forever to laugh hysterically into Viktor’s knee before trying to fall back asleep.

“I’ll babysit the terrible trio tomorrow,” Mari assures them. “You guys look like you need a break.”

“Bless you,” Viktor whispers, strangely understanding every word of that much more complicated sentence. “You will be sainted.”

“The patron saint of sniffles and drooling brothers,” Mari says, and Yuuri doesn’t know if she’s talking about him or the twins but he throws a pillow at her anyway.

The Types as Shit I Have Actually Said
  • ISFJ: "The most rebellious thing I've ever done is illegally smuggle two Star Wars Kinder Surprise eggs from Canada across the US border."
  • ISFP: "Sometimes you just gotta lie on the floor and flail your arms and legs like a dying insect and make incoherent moaning noises. It's very cathartic."
  • ISTJ: "I'm a boring, stuffy traditionalist."
  • ISTP: "I want to get a garden gnome and name it Gnome Chomsky... I'm hilarious."
  • INFJ: "I'm basically a walking existential crisis."
  • INFP: "Do you ever remember that Carrie Fisher is dead and just start crying?"
  • INTJ: "I am never going outside ever again for the rest of my life."
  • INTP: "My favorite punctuation mark is the Oxford semicolon."
  • ESFJ: *bakes cake from a Betty Crocker mix* "My culinary prowess is second to none."
  • ESFP: "Please forgive me for the following moment of shameless self-promotion."
  • ESTJ: "Everyone is incompetent except for me."
  • ESTP: "I either binge-eat junk food all day, or I forget to eat until I literally start having symptoms of mild to moderate hypoglycemia. There's no in-between."
  • ENFJ: "______ is a social construct."
  • ENFP: "Very disappointed the unicorn frappuccino did not turn me into an actual unicorn. I feel scammed."
  • ENTJ: "They probably hate me because they think I'm an evil commie TERF."
  • ENTP: "It occurred to me that the movie musical Annie is capitalist propaganda."

I remember a few million years ago, an anon had asked me for Yugi in a suit

anonymous asked:

So I'm on Aleks stream more often recently, and I can't help but take immense satisfaction in that he constantly replies to me in actual chat. He's even made several jokes about shit I've said. Is it wrong that I feel so validated by that?

It’s not wrong at all to feel validated by that! I know how nice it feels when someone you look up to acknowledges you. It’s pretty cool how Aleks takes the time to do that for his fans.