actual conversation i had about a minute ago

My only explanation for this is I had a great need for something in which Dex is actually totally fine with his sexuality, he just hasn’t made a big deal about it since he got to Samwell and everyone’s been assuming he was straight. I’ll probably use this idea again for something more substantial, but this song came on in the car today and I thought up this whole conversation around it, so here you go.


“Dex… are you listening to Cake?” Nursey asked.

Up until a few minutes ago, Dex had been alone in the room and therefore hadn’t been bothering with headphones. “Yeah, why?” he said, not looking up from his homework.

“It doesn’t really seem like your kind of thing.”

“Huh? Oh.” He glanced at the playlist. “This is a mix my sister made me. It’s an inside joke.”

“Okay, I have to ask. Why is ‘Satan Is My Motor’ a joke? Is it just because you’re angry all the time?”

“No. Have you ever even listened to the song? It’s not angry at all.”

“Unlike everything else you listen to.”

Dex glared at him. (A mild glare, by his standards.) “Do you want to know or not?”

Nursey mimed zipping his lips shut. Dex rolled his eyes.

“Like I said, it’s an inside joke. I was rebuilding a car for her when our priest went on a big anti-gay kick, and she heard this song and it cracked us up that he would accuse us of running on Satan’s power. We laughed about it all summer. Man, that guy was a dick. No one was sad to see him go.”

“I… what?”

“Aren’t you an English major? Tell me I don’t have to explain a word-play joke about sexuality to you. I mean, you’ve studied Shakespeare. I know you have.”

“But… you’re straight.”

Dex snorted and turned back to his homework. “I’m sure my high school boyfriend would be shocked to hear that. Aren’t you supposed to be writing an essay?”

Nursey, for perhaps the first time in the history of their acquaintance, was speechless. Well, this changed some things.

Dex didn’t appear to notice.