acts of bloggery

So, Fuck It, I Just Compiled A Whole Stack Of Literary References To The "Singular They" Pronoun.

This is by no means exhaustive (hell, it’s not even a fraction), but hopefully it’s enough to get the pedantic d-bags in your life who wanna claim “grammar” as an excuse to marginalize your identity to shut the hell up. Enjoy.

“According to the number that yee shall prepare, so shall yee doe to euery one, according to THEIR number.” - Numbers 15:12, The King James Bible

“So likewise shall my heauenly Father doe also vnto you, if yee from your hearts forgiue not euery one his brother THEIR trespasses.” - Matthew 18:35, The King James Bible

“And whoso fyndeth hym out of swich blame, THEY wol come up and offre in Goddes name, And I assoille them “ - Chaucer, Canterbury Tales, The Pardoners Tale

“Yf a psalme scape ony persone, or a lesson, or else yt. THEY omyt one verse or twayne.” - Wynkyn de Worde, The Pilgrims Perfection

“And every one to rest THEMSELVES betake” - Shakespeare, The Rape Of Lucrece

“‘tis meet that some more audience than a mother, since nature makes THEM partial, should o'erhear the speech” - Shakespeare, Hamlet

“Little did I think… to make a… complaint against a Person very dear to you,… but dont let THEM be so proud… as to make THEM not care how THEY affront everybody else” - Samuel Richardson, Pamela, or, Virtue Rewarded

“Now, nobody does anything well that THEY cannot help doing.” - John Ruskin, The Crown Of Wild Olive

“a person can’t help THEIR birth” - W.M. Thackeray

“no man goes to battle to be killed. — But THEY do get killed ” - George Bernard Shaw

“Glancing at a lampshade in a store window, I observe it is too hideous for anyone in THEIR senses to buy” - W. H. Auden, Horae Canonicae

“She kept her head and kicked her shoes off, as everybody ought to do who falls into deep water in THEIR clothes.” - C. S. Lewis, Voyage Of The Dawn Treader

I love when folks talk about me, as a trans woman, critiquing the patriarchy from the angle that “but it was in your favor before transition”.

Are we talking about the same patriarchy that had me coded as “faggy” and “effeminate” from childhood before I even had an idea of my own sexuality, that always has and continues to regard me as a “lesser form” of however I’ve expressed myself?

That patriarchy?

Yeah that thing did *soooo much* for me, thanks a fucking bunch.

Q: How many trans-exclusive radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Trick question. Only liberals and “fun feminists” change light bulbs and allow others to do so. Light and dark are distinct and essential states, with meaning in patriarchal culture. We cannot allow people to change light bulbs because it is an appropriation of luminescence and goes against the natural order of things.

Why do people say "CIS" instead of "cis" like it's an acronym or something?

What in the world do they think it stands for?

  • Curious Iguana Sanctuary?
  • Constantly Invading Spaces?
  • Constantly Invalidating Struggles/Sexualities?
  • Curiously Ignorant Sillies?
  • Coitus Interruptus (as a) Sexuality?
  • Criticailly Ignorant of Setting?
  • Copious Interruptions of Sentences?
  • Clammy Icthyosaurus Scales?
  • Condescending Identity Skeptics?
  • Cruelty Instilled in Socialization?
  • Critically Ignorant Splainers?
  • Crappy Ignorance of Self?
  • Completely Inhibited Sadsacks?
Goddamn It, This Is A Venger Appreciation Post.


                                       MOTHERFUCKER

I’ve already put WAY too much thought into this, so grab your butts and hold on. I’m about to blow your fucking mind with some truth about Venger you NEVER, EVER thought of before. That glorious Optimus Prime-sounding motherfucker.

First of all, how much do you fucking remember about the Dungeons And Dragons cartoon? Probably just about dick I bet. You remember there being wizards tho, right? Gnarled wrinkly old bald motherfuckers, the lot of them.

Like Merlin:

And this dickhead:

And this shriveled little Yoda motherfucker:

ALL BALD AS A FUCKING CUEBALL. But get this, Venger’s a fucking wizard too. Is he bald? We’ll never fucking know because he’s looking fly in his


DOPE ASS DRAG QUEEN HEADDRESS

But you know, now that we think of it there was a wizard that had hair…


THIS USELESS FUCKFACE

So… there’s still a convincing case that Venger might be bald but who cares because


DOPE ASS DRAG QUEEN HEADDRESS

Now can we talk for a moment about Venger’s eyebrows? BECAUSE HOLY SHIT I COULD TALK ALL DAY ABOUT VENGER’S EYEBROWS.


WATCH HIM STARE DOWN THAT SHADOW BITCH. BET IT FEELS DUMB AS FUCK NOW.


THE FUCK IS THAT


THE FUCK IS THIS


YOU FUCKED UP NOW

Alright, but check this out. Pop this into your eyeholes and load it into your brain bucket. Wizards wear robes and shit. Right? WRONG MOTHERFUCKER


VENGER WEARS A FUCKING DRESS
WHILE RIDING A FUCKING HORSE
AND JUST HAS NO TIME FOR ANY OF YOUR BULLSHIT

Take a good look at some of those pics. THE DUDE WEARS A CAPE EVEN THOUGH HE HAS WINGS. He rides a fire-breathing horse that flies EVEN THOUGH HE HAS WINGS. Motherfucker’s a proud aerodynamic genderqueer male witch badass and if you think he gives a single solitary fuck than you better sit the fuck down and go back to Venger school because YOU DON’T KNOW SHIT ABOUT VENGER.


#PURE SWAG FOR MILES AND MILES

The only one in the whole universe that can contend (and if you say Dungeon Master I’ll teleport you away to someplace useless like he does all the time) is Tiamat, but you and I both know Tumblr’s not powerful enough to contain a post with both of them in it. So here’s a pic of Eric the Cavalier looking like an asshat-


TYPICAL ERIC. DOING WHATEVER IS HAPPENING HERE.

So the new TERF “repeat it until it’s considered true” mantra is that somehow “men don’t have gender, women do”, and christ I don’t know whether to laugh or to cry.

I mean jesus fuckin mess, how is this not instantly debunked as the most MRAest dudebro viewpoint out there, rather than a tenet of a so-called “feminism”? It reifies cishet masculine presentation as a normative social “default” in a way that even religious right social conservatives wouldn’t dare, because to them any other form of presentation is “performative”.

I’m going to scream this every single day of my life until someone pays attention: MASCULINITY IS PERFORMATIVE MASCULINITY IS PERFORMATIVE MASCULINITY IS PERFORMATIVE

Literally any trans woman & many gay men can tell you that masculinity and heteronormative presentation is indeed performative & a lot of us are coerced into it unwillingly. This coercion is backed up with social disenfranchisement and violence.

Also, like, if a trans woman is a man and a man is an entity devoid of gender, isn’t that some sort of rhetorical divide by zero error?