action thrillers

Russell T Davies on Steven Moffat

We do not know how lucky we are.

When asked to consider Steven’s finest moments, I was overwhelmed by images. Heores and villains. Battles and beauty. Monsters and children. Then I realised that I’d only got as far as 20 minutes into The Empty Child -round about the joke about Marxism and West End musicals - and had to sit down for a cup of tea.

I think, as fans, we can focus on the detail - Mondasian Cybermen! - at the risk of missing the bigger picture. That picture being, in Steven’s case, that we’ve just seen one of the greatest sci-fi body-horror thriller action-adventure romances (plus comedy) of our entire lives, beamed on to our TVs for less than 10p, written by a world-class master of his craft who’s now so in command of his talent, he’s riffing on ephemera from 1966 and turning it into gold, whisky, sex, whatever turns you on best. We truly do not know how lucky we are to have a man of this calibre writing our favourite show.

Since leaving Doctor Who, I’m approached, now and then, by strangers who remember my withered husk from Doctor Who Confidential. There’s a glint in their eye as they say, “What d’you think of it now?” An awful lot of those people are dying for me to trash it. I think, genuinely, they’re trying to achieve an intimacy. I think, nastily, they want me to say something bad so they can take it online and have some strange sort of fun. And when I say, “I love it!” they often think I’m lying.

I love it. I love every episode the man’s written. I love the other episodes he’s rewritten and I think few people know how many that is. I love the detail, I love the scale, I love the people, I love the jokes. I love the fact that Steven himself is quite down on The Beast Below. The whole of the UK on a spaceship? The whole of the UK is a spaceship? I’d retire there and then, complete. Nope, for him, it just wasn’t good enough.

I love the man, in truth, I love his mind, I love his standards, I love his rigour, his darkness, his kindness, his ambition, his love of TV. I love the man who wrote the very last line of Coupling, which shows what a lovely human being he is.

I love his women. Consider, in bad fiction, which is most fiction, how women’s roles, which have suffered so many years of neglect that they can be summarised as ‘women’s roles’, fall into the same old categories. They are reduced to the Mother, the Wife, the Daughter, the Bride. Agents of sex and childbirth, nothing more.

But then look at what Steven does with those categories. The Bride stands tall at her reception - literally in her wedding dress - and summons the Doctor back itno existence with an Old Maid’s rhyme. When the Bride has a Daughter, it’s a vital part of a galaxy-spanning revenge. The Daughter then becomes the Wife, a woman of such swagger and joy and tenderness, the Time Lord finally falls in love. We’re not done yet. A lesser category pops up, the Dominatrix, complete with eye-patch, but don’t worry, the Bride who’s the Mother of the Daughter who’s the Wife kills her stone dead! Then a lesbian travels the universe and everyone adores her. And nestling at the heart of the show is Doctor Who’s very own problem category, the Companion, a title inherently subordinate to the Man. Until Clara comes along! Companion to every single moment in the Doctor’s life. A woman so strong that in her first appearance, and her last, Death itself cannot stop her. A decade before Wonder Woman, Steven started weaving his own vast female mythology across the stars, in a funny old children’s show on Saturday teatimes.

I could mansplain all day, but the other thing I love in Steven’s writing is the complexity. I’ve heard some tiny, distant rumours that some people might have a problem with that. But I think it’s the very thing that will ensure Doctor Who’s logevity. You see, in the old days, us older fans fell in love with this show because it was porous. It had gaps. It was cheap, it was rushed, it was lovely and brave and unapologetic, using three walls in Lime Grove to create an entire Dalek invasion of Earth. All those gaps allowed us in. We imagined the offstage armies. We embraced the wobbles and bumps. If Sutekh had a secret hand on his cushion, we hooted, or invented a reason why (Clara!). But we either imagined it better, or saw how good it was underneath. Which is exactly like falling in love.

Now, the modern show has a lot more money. You can see those armies centre-stage. Gallifrey is so gorgeous, it has a spare city. Cyber-fleets can explode behind Rory’s head as a throwaway joke. And sometimes, a lossy show allows the mind the slide off. But Steven has created a brand-new porous surface. He invites us into the plots. He gives us stories which vault and somersault and double-back and trick and trap and treat. It’s not so much porous, it’s more like a great big spinning double helix and we’re clinging on, spinning for our lives, and yelling with joy. Yes, it’s complicated, but that’s wonderful. It will keep people thinking about the show forever.

Okay, my favourite moment? It’s my favourite joke. A Good Man Goes to War. Rory approaches River Song in the Storm Cage, and she says she’s been on a date with the Doctor, to the frost fair in 1814. “He got Stevie Wonder to sing for me underneath London Bridge.” And for a second, there’s that lovely shiver as you anticipae the punchline. “Don’t tell him.”

That’s a small momnt from a man who’s created empires. But a favourite joke is a beautiful thing. I just looked up the line and it turns out, I’ve long since paraphrased it, but that’s even better - like I said, Steven makes us part of the text, and now I own it! The point is, I think of that line every few days. Literally, a couple of times a week, every week. Every now and then, when I’m washing up or watching TV, or walking into town, or whatever, it pops into my head. “Don’t tell him.” And I laugh. I laugh, every single time. It’s been making me laugh for six years and it will make me laugh for the rest of my life. Very few people can write a line capable of that.

We have been so lucky.

GUYS, atomic blonde (2017) as a movie concept is something that i’ve wanted pretty much forever??? it’s like someone pulled my dream story right out of my brain and decided to make a screenplay out of it, I mean

  • a gritty-yet-stylish action thriller about a femme fatale-esque female secret agent
  • said female agent is the hero of her own story. this isn’t a romance. it’s her movie.
  • and she’s played by charlize theron?????!!!!!!!!
  • a mainstream movie with a lead character who is explicitly bisexual!!! who has on-screen romantic interactions with both men and women!!!! 
  • james mcavoy as charlize theron’s comic relief/eye candy sidekick
  • CHARLIZE THERON STABBING A MAN TO DEATH WITH A STILETTO HEEL YES SIGN ME THE HELL UP 
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Hey Phoebe. I just wanted to say that I love you and that everything is going to be okay. I mean, not perfect, obviously, but better. Like, we’ll probably have to get a new house. and also cars. But I’m coming to get you and this will all be over. Soon-ish.

American Ultra (2015)
dir. Nima Nourizadeh

Ever get tired of the “bury your gays” trope? In this new action-comedy thriller, the Gays bury you!!
The movie we’ve all been waiting for!! My hypothetical movie that follows a band of LGTBQ+ people after the start of the zombie apocalypse, including trans/nb, ace, and disabled characters. Guaranteed no fuckboys on screen unless they are getting their ass kicked.

The movie would be comprised of a 100% queer cast, all trained in combat for realism.

Dating Jughead Jones would include:

-You stealing his beanie 24/7

-PDA when he’s jealous

-Reading his novel as he’s writing it, when he notice it he laughs and goes back to writing

-You being the only one that makes him laugh and this confuses everyone

-Being together most of the time

-Defending him from Reggie

-Listening to music together

-Him sneaking to your window most of the time, specially at night

-“Jug, what the hell?! My parents are downstairs!”

-“Let me stay, please, I promise to be quiet”

-“Alright”

-Late night talks about everything

-Your parents not liking him at first but when they get to know him they love him

-Lots of PDA when you’re alone

-Helping him investigate Jason’s murder

-Caring about you more than he does about himself

-Making a promise that when you finish high school you’ll leave together and start a new life

-Him falling asleep in your legs, allowing you to play with his hair

-Falling asleep in his arms

-Him stealing your fries

-“Just because I love you I’m gonna pretend I don’t see you stealing my fries”

-“What’s mine is yours”

-Complementing his sassy remarks

-Him being the first one to say “I love you”

-Laying your head on his shoulder as he writes

-Lots of teasing from the group, specially Veronica

-Inside jokes

-You being the only one he can’t say no, except when he thinks you’re in danger

-Holding your hand or putting his hand on your thigh under the table when you’re at Pop’s

-Finding out he’s homeless

-“Okay, that’s it you’re staying with me”

-“Y/N…”

-No, Jughead! You’re staying with me. End of discussion"

-Tickling each other when you’re alone

-Him reading each chapter out loud when it’s finished because he wants to know your opinion.

-His dad thinking you’re a sweetheart

-He loves to scare you when you’re distracted

-“OH MY GOD JUGHEAD I HATE YOU”

-“No, you don’t”

-Best cuddle buddy

-Forehead kisses

-He kisses your hand when it’s intertwined with his

-He makes you blush most of the time

-Comforting each other when you had a bad day

-Action/Thriller movies marathons

A NONEXHAUSTIVE ANIME RECOMMENDATION LIST

CLASSICS (you’ve probably watched these already):

  • Neon Genesis Evangelion : depression, adolescence & mecha: the anime
  • Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann : depression, adolescence & mecha: the remake
  • Kill La Kill: see above, but with a commentary on fanservice and the anime industry. also main female characters
  • Death Note : morally ambiguous main character kills people, eats potato chips. everyone loses their shit
  • Fullmetal Alchemist (both 2003 and Brotherhood) : 2 brothers fuck shit up, also save the world through alchemy.
  • Cowboy Bebop : guns in space
  • Every Goddamn Ghibli Movie : do it, you weakling. watch them all theyre all good
  • Ghost In The Shell : theres more than just the first movie. watch the other ones. also the tv series. do it. its about being human
  • Yu-Gi-Oh : believe in the power of the fucking cards karen

CLASSICS II (you probably haven’t watched these and it makes me sad):

  • Perfect Blue : the movie black swan tried (and failed) to rip off properly
  • Future Boy Conan : because miyazaki also does tv series
  • Revolutionary Girl Utena : sword lesbian, a lesbian with a sword
  • Oban Star Racers : racing, but in space. half french
  • Mushishi : spirits, in all their contemplative beauty
  • Black Jack (the OVAs are the best but you can watch the rest as well): the original Dr House, with more money and assholery
  • Koi Kaze : quite possibly the only redeemable anime about incest
  • Sherlock Hound: did i mention miyazaki doing great tv series yet

SHONEN (young boys fuck shit up):

  • My Hero Academia : crybaby protagonist turns out to be most loveable character of all time. becomes a cool hero. love him
  • Mob Psycho 100 : a show about a boy who just wants to be good. ONE manifests in your house to physically punch shonen tropes in the face. breathtaking animation. read the manga before tho. trust me
  • Avatar The Last Airbender (& Avatar The Legend Of Korra) : fuck you its anime because i fucking said so. watch it. the story is great and culturally diverse and also cool shit happens
  • Naruto & Naruto Shippuden : whatever you say some arcs were fucking legendary so whenever you want just watch some cool, non-filler shit. every thing after the Pain arc doesnt matter dont watch it
  • Soul Eater: i have no goddamn clue whats going on but it looks cool.
    also spirit vore
  • Hunter x Hunter : young boy adopts new adults in his family, gets killer best friend. literally
  • Keroro Gunsou : alien frogs try to take over the world. it,,,,, doesnt work very well. featuring otaku frog, angry frog, gay fanboy frog, gay nerd frog, alone frog as well as many other things. the humans are also good
  • Wakfu : its. basically french anime. fantasy stuff, it has great animation (especially in the later episodes) and the main villains are fucking incredible. its on netflix and by all that is holy watch it in french with english subs else i will physically manifest in your house and punch you.
  • One Punch Man : ONE tries to mock shonen manga, does it too well
  • Shaman King : the french OP is in my head and I CANT GET IT OUT
  • Black Rock Shooter (OVA + series) : this times its girls fucking shit up, and theyre also crying. it looks amazing

SPORTS ANIME (i dont give a shit about sports but goddamn i love these):

  • Baby Steps : the most realistic and likeable sports anime ever. weak art but great story telling and pacing
  • Haikyuu!! : what even is volleyball. i care about these characters and the animation is fucking phenomenal. the soundtrack is so good. watch it
  • Ping Pong - The Animation : weird-ass art in the best way, great story & characters. cant fucking believe this was achieved on flash
  • Welcome To The Ballroom : n e c k s
  • Hajime No Ippo : punching people and your own FEELINGS
  • Yuri On Ice!!! : gay ice skating. everyone loves quadruples. very nice and sweet. you will care about dogs
  • Akagi: lets just pretend playing mah-jong while using your blood to bet is an actual sport. also known as ‘wow thats a peculiar art style - the anime’

OTHER SHIT I’M TOO LAZY TO CATEGORIZE (but watch them theyre good i promise):

  • Fume Wo Amu : autistic man discovers how to make dictionaries and friends. some sad happens
  • Shouwa Genroku Rakugo Shinjuu : like a greek tragedy, except sadder and directed by gods. incredible animation as well. gr8 storytelling
  • Doukyuusei : a short, sweet love story. the animation style is stunning i fucking love it with all my heart
  • Steins;Gate : time travel bullshit. great direction
  • Journey To Agartha : a movie i tried to get people to watch back when they didnt know who makoto shinkai was yet. pls watch its good
  • Usagi Drop : aka “dont read the manga - the anime”. the fluffiest piece of animation you will ever encounter. a dad dadding his life away
  • Psycho-Pass : great thriller/action show. makes you question morality
  • Uchuu Patrol Luluco : fuck you and your feelings im more important
  • Monster : naoki urasawa Does It Again™
  • Kiznaiver : a deconstruction of drama anime in general, with godlike animation and art. the OP makes me want to cry because its so good
  • Wandering Son : a touching anime about trans kids. read the manga
  • Akagi : just makin sure you watch that one. while youre ahead read the manga too
  • Nichijou : slice of life anime presented in the most hilarious way
  • Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magica : magical girls but with a twist. dont fuckin trust that piece of shit plushie
  • Lupin III : arsène lupin except hes more of a piece of shit than usual
  • Parasyte : i am scarred for life by the things i have seen
  • Jojo’s Bizarre Adventures: whatever the fuck is going on here

thats it for now, i will probably update this in the future when i think of it. these are my opinions and my opinions only im not some kind of anime guru kthx

Jake Peralta: Stepdad!AU

So this was going to be an actual fic, but, alas, any sort of narrative wouldn’t come, so instead allow me to offer a series of (not at all canon-timeline compliant) headcanons about Amy Santiago’s tiny daughter taking Jake in as part of the family:

  • When Amy starts at the Nine-Nine, she is Very Adamant that Jake will never meet Maya, largely because a) He’s the worst, and b) Maya doesn’t need to see her mother curse out a fellow employee, but mostly c) He’s The Worst.
  • Except she only lasts twelve days, at which point Captain McGinley calls her in on her day off because he’s finally realized that his new detective has started and he wants to meet her, even though they have met four (4) times and he’s assigned two cases to her and Jake
    • It’s supposed to be a short meeting and she promises a very teary-eyed Maya that she’ll be real quick, but she needs to go in without Maya because McGinley looks like he might yell for some reason, Amy can just tell, and Sarge isn’t here and Amy barely knows anyone else and Jake offers, basically
    • Maya is just v. v. teary when Amy blows her a quick kiss before entering McGinley’s office
    • The meeting lasts exactly forty-seven minutes
    • Amy expects A Disaster when she gets out, or at the very least a very stressed-out Jake trying to pass her daughter off on someone else
    • But instead Maya is sitting in Jake’s lap with two of his superhero figurines gripped between her sweaty little hands, patiently telling a story while Jake writes on a piece of paper next to her
    • “And then there’s a dragon,” Maya says breathlessly, and Jake nods along patiently
    • “Fire-breathing or bearded?” he offers, and Maya really considers it for a moment before deciding on bearded. “Got it, I’ve jotted that down.”
    • “I thought no one was allowed to touch your dolls?” Amy asks when she gets to them, and she’s a little stressed out about this whole situation because Jake is suddenly, like, a kind person? Who’s been watching her daughter for forty-seven minutes and counting?
    • “Uh, obviously this is Red Metal Man and Mr. Star, okay.”
    • It’s not. It’s Iron Man and Captain America, and Amy can tell because she’s not totally out of the loop of the cultural zeitgeit, okay, and she sometimes pays attention to movie posters and has very definitely seen at least two of the superhero movies
    • “Plus I believe I said no Santiagos, and that was back before I knew there was a cool Santiago in the clan.”
    • Maya, meanwhile, has grabbed a pen off of Jake’s desk and is now leaning precariously over said desk and drawing on some of the large blank spaces Jake had left on the paper
    • And Amy realizes that Jake was writing down Maya’s story but made sure there was room so she could draw
    • Jake grins at her sheepishly, braces Maya with one hand on her back to make sure she doesn’t slip, and says, “It’s her vision, and she’s, like, a really good storyteller.”
    • Amy swoons, but in a low-key, subtle way. Probably.
    • Anyway, but Jake is also The Worst, so it doesn’t matter

Keep reading

Director Joe Lynch (Everly, Wrong Turn 2) is back with Mayhem. To celebrate its world premiere tonight at SXSW, the first poster for the action thriller has debuted.

Steven Yeun (The Walking Dead), Samara Weaving (Ash vs Evil Dead), Caroline Chikezie (Aeon Flux), Dallas Roberts (3:10 to Yuma), Mark Frost, and Steven Brand (The Scorpion King) star.

Mayhem tells of a virus capable of making people act out their wildest impulses that infects a corporate law office on the very day attorney Derek Saunders (Yeun) is framed by a co-worker and wrongfully fired. Trapped in the quarantined building, our hero is forced to savagely fight tooth and nail for not only his job, but also his life.