action hero four

Ghostbusters 2016 rant

Re: whether or not a reboot should have been made…

There is a difference between remaking something like Gone With The Wind and Ghostbusters. Comparing a cinematic masterpiece to a cult classic is apples and oranges. Yes, the original Ghostbusters is one of the greatest movies of all time, but you know what else it is? It’s a hero movie. It’s a timeless underdogs-becoming-heroes story, and the fact that so many little boys (and girls) looked up to the old ghostbusters should not be a reason to *not* remake it. To properly reboot a franchise one major question you must answer is “how can we make this different and worthy?” And they answer that question with great dexterity by making the heroes women.

I grew up with the original ghostbusters as heroes. We played GB every day on my street, and I looked up to those guys, partially because they were cool role models, but also because there were no women heroes worthy of looking up to. Yes, Annie Potts and Sigourney Weaver’s characters are iconic but they’re not heroes. They’re not heroes of their own story. This new movie could only work as a reboot and it could only work with women. There would be zero reason for a reboot starring men, since the originals are still so popular. And as a lot of grumpy nay-Sayers like to talk about, no it doesn’t work as a sequel with women because a sequel to the originals would mean that these women were riding on the coat tails of men. It would mean that every bit of science they had would have only been possible because men did it first. This reboot gives them a universe of their own where the science is theirs, where the heroics are theirs, and the reward is theirs and theirs alone. You know, like in real life, where women do things without men literally all the time.

These women are the Ghostbusters I needed when I was a kid. It would have been a game changer for me. And what upsets me the most about these butthurt fanboys who can’t shut up about how this movie somehow “ruined their childhood,” is that they completely forget the fact that THEY ALREADY HAD THEIR CHILDHOOD. They HAD their heroes, they HAD their toys, they HAD their fun, and they grew up not knowing what it’s like to never be represented in any way other than an accessory. I will *never* understand why they feel it necessary to try and take this movie away from NEW generations who didn’t and have not had that. Girls who have never seen a group of female action heroes who are smart, and funny, and independent, and so wonderfully bad-ass. Let the girls have this movie. Piggy backing on that- never before have you seen a movie where the action heroes are four women over 30! Three of whom are over 40! And who represent so many different kinds of women! AND THEY’RE SCIENTISTS IN COMFORTABLE CLOTHES! I am always so touched to read posts where women say “I saw myself in this character because…” Representation is important, and if lack of representation doesn’t bother you it means you’re represented enough not to care. If you’re upset that this movie was made for whatever reason I’m here to tell you it doesn’t matter because THIS MOVIE ISN’T FOR YOU. Like Paul Feig tweets all the time, this movie has already made a huge impact on many people, young and old, all different sexes, genders, races, and geographic locations. It’s an unmitigated success on many levels, backed by reports from Sony themselves. When a movie makes nearly $100mil profit in ticket sales (not including merchandise or third party tie-ins) and you consider that the majority of movie goers ARE women, it goes to show that this is what the audience wants. What the audience has been wanting for for a long time.

So thank you to Sony, thank you to the creators of the original for loving and believing in this movie so much, and thank you to the makers and stars of the Ghostbusters reboot because it is important, it is necessary, and it is wonderful. A sequel would show those butthurt fanboys that we don’t need them to get stuff done.

Thank you for your time. End rant.

#HappenForHoltzmann

the gangster goat

these are a few of the pygmy goats we have on our farm.

including all the babies, teens, and adults, we have about 11 total. 

over the weekend, two of my family members were trying to catch a couple of the baby goats, who are like a month or two old. they needed to be caught so they could have their testicles banded, basically making sure they don’t grow up to be billy goats. 

see, billy goats are aggressive as fuck. billy pygmy goats are even worse, because their tiny stature doesn’t detract from their incredible strength. people have had their legs shattered and ribs broken when a billy pygmy didn’t take kindly to whatever they were doing. and having multiple billy goats in a herd means constant fighting and even murder of the other goats. 

anyway, they were able to catch the first goat without issue. but the second goat, he was wily. 

there’s an old house on our farm, been there for at least 100 years, where the goats like to hang out and play when they’re not roaming the farm. 

this is a picture of the shed attached to it, to give some perspective. 


the house has two floors, and the windows on that second floor sit about as high as the top of that shed. it’s not uncommon to go walking around that area and see five or six goats pop their heads out of the windows to look down upon you and judge you for your lack of a majestic goatee. 

so when my family members chased after the second goat, he took up the stairs and corned himself in the bedroom up there. my family members followed, and the goat had a choice to make: 

get captured, or bail. 

the fucker bailed.

we’re talking at least a 20 foot drop, that little baby pygmy goat bailed out that window like an action hero, landed on all fours with bent knees, then took off at full speed. 

once they caught the goat, they inspected him and he had no injuries, wasn’t in pain, not a single scratch on him. 

that’s why this goat is the gangster goat, the G.O.A.T. goat. this little guy stood up to the man and said “you can take my nuts when suck deez nuts”. 

this goat is a hero.