One night, Michael Orchard of New York state noticed that his neighbor’s house was on fire. Taking matters into his own hands, he blasted through his neighbor’s fence with his car, kicked in the back door, and rescued the family’s dog from the inferno.
There was one problem, though.
When the cops showed up, they found Orchard standing there like an action hero, clutching the dog in front of a house that was most definitely not ablaze. The source of the confusion – the fact that Orchard had taken acid and a shitload of cough syrup – was quickly identified, and the rescue mission was quickly reclassified as breaking and entering.
The medal ceremony was quickly canceled.On the plus side, Orchard was very cooperative and immediately paid for the damage to the house. And the dog was unharmed, unless you count the depression he suffered when he realized he wasn’t going to get to go for a ride. So although the heroism wasn’t needed, was actually counterproductive, and resulted in a disappointed dog, this is still legitimately one of the greatest heroes 2016 has produced, and we should all be deeply ashamed that we’re honoring him here.