acting-retarded

Every girl wants this.
  • Her:Is it hard?
  • Him:What?
  • Her:Being in love with me?
  • Him:Definitely. It's hard dealing with your tantrums, you know. You never really know what you want. You change decisions all the time. It's hard convincing you everyday that you look just perfect with everything you wear. You are never contented with your hair. Sometimes, there were days that you hate seeing my face or my presence annoys you so I need to spends bucks for flowers and chocolates. I have to act mentally retarded on public to make you smile which is so hard because you know how I sucks on telling jokes. And you know? You are sooo rude to me. Addressing me names of animals and even poop. Beating me up. It's not really my lifetime dream to be a battered boyfriend. Can you imagine how it's driving me crazy when you need me everytime I'm doing something important. I have to ditch the whole thing just to be with you because you'll kill me if I did not show up. It's hard dealing with those shits everyday. You are always jelous of everything and anything. When you glare at me, it scares the whole shit out of me. You're too much to handle babe.
  • Her:Then why are you still here? Why are you staying with me?
  • Him:Because you make me a better man. Making you feel special makes me feel awesome. Having you here is like putting something that will guide me all through out. You keep me grounded. Because of you, I learned to deal with the world and the life itself. And I love you so much. Yes it's so fucking hard being in love with you, but I am not going anywhere unless I'm with you. This. Here. With you. Is where I wanted to be. And yours, is all I wanted to be.
youtube

This is the greatest thing ever done with these two’s voices. The best part is that it’s from a real court transcript, verbatim. None of the words are changed.

The signs as quotes from The Office

Aries: I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.

Taurus: Sometimes i’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way.

Gemini: I have flaws. What are they? I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally i’ll hit somebody with my car.

Cancer: Blink once if you want me to pull the plug.

Leo: You don’t know me. You’ve just seen my penis.

Virgo: Well, happy birthday, Jesus. Sorry your party’s so lame.

Libra: I saw Inception. Or at least I dreamt I did.

Scorpio: You don’t call retarded people retards. It’s bad taste. You call your friends retards when they’re acting retarded.

Sagittarius: One day Michael came in complaining about a speed bump on the highway. I wonder who he ran over then.

Capricorn: Toby is in HR, which technically means he is part of corporate, which means he is not part of our family. He’s also divorced, which means he’s not part of his family.

Aquarius: Should have burned the place down when I had the chance.

Pisces: My perfect Valentine’s Day? I’m at home, three cell phones in front of me, fielding desperate calls from the people who want to buy one of the 50 restaurant reservations I made over 6 months ago.

Chandler and Monica

As much as I love Friends, Chandler and Monica’s relationship makes my tummy hurt. I’m completely jealous. I want that.
I want to fall in love with my best friend and eventually marry him.
I want to be able to act completely retarded and still have him say he loves me.
I want to be sick as a dog and he still thinks I’m sexy.
I want to fight over stupid stuff and always make up because we realize our relationship’s more important.
I want to find the Chandler to my Monica.

EXO's reaction to spicy food challenge.

Baekhyun

“Whoooa! This stuff is really spicy!”

Chanyeol

“OMG! Why did I agree to this?”

Chen

*handles it like a pro*

DO

“How can you eat this?!”

Kai

*gives up after two bites* “Is your stomach made of steel or what?!”

Kris

“My lips…I can’t feel my lips…!!!”

Lay

*acts like he’s fine* *dies inside three times*

Luhan

“Omo! Omo! Even my breath smells spicy!”

Sehun

“Tpfuuu! Is this spicy or what?!” *don’t cry. DON’T cry*

Suho

“Ooo! I fell like there’s fire in my stomach!”

Tao

*acts like a retarded dragon*

Xiumin

“No. NO. It’s not spicy at all..No…”

Hello cupcakes and welcome to my first christmas (actually second) follow forever! Forgive me pls my url right now, it’s LUHMAS because I changed it due to christmas ♥

So yeah, Christmas is coming (finally, tbh I’m so tired of everything right now) and I really, really wanted to do something for you just to show you how much I appreciate every single follower and how much I loooooove you all! I haven’t got a chance to know you all better this year but I still hope of something more in the future. I know sometimes I act weird or retarded or stupid but forgive me, my bias is Oh Sehun, that’s a good excuse. I really really really love you all, I’m happy to see you happy and I can’t believe how perfect people can be. I mean it. I wanted to show you all that I really care and I’m always here if you want to talk. I don’t bite, I promise.

So this follow forever is my gift for you this Christmas because I want you to feel worthy and happy and just to feel loved, okay? I hope my senpais would notice me this year but shhh. Let’s celebrate, let’s be happy, let’s smile and let’s stay strong. I really enjoyed time spent here, I met so many beautiful people, I’ve got so many memories with this site and there goes a huge  T H A N K   Y O U  to all of you. I hope next years will be as succesfull and perfect as this year, even tho it was hard for kpop fandom. At least we survived it, right? At least we are still family and I couldn’t wish for more amazing family than this one. Thank you for making me feel like I belong here and I really hope you felt like this too ♥. Remember to stay positive and flawless & thank you for being here for me ♥

Here goes the list of my perfect senpais, friends & people I really adore. LOVE YOU ALL & MERRY CHRISTMAS1!

italic - friends

0-d

7hans aeosea amazitao babysen baekchen baekhny baekingkai celestyeol chanparks chiihaya dazzlingkai de-leux dewusional

e-l

flawlesszitao harikko hellolesbeauexo homilks hongdaes hoseoke httpluhan hunho hypertone itschangminnie jaelii-sarang junghwe kaixes keimun kitteun krean-s kristaul kyung-snow luhanova luhaq luhars lulv

m-r

milkeu milkhet milklu officialhyuna oh-my-oh ohmilk ohxing okaisshi osehunie pastel-exo pestale petalu petitekai pewboo princejongnini qolour rejestr-niebieski rnyungkitty rosetao

s-z

sajumaru sedults see-you-tomorrow-hyung sehao sehduction seheartless sehetheral sehuge sehundertow sehunphobia sehunskin sehuntsmen sehwonton sehype seoulmisfits sudyo suhonim teahuna thaenes ttal ttoshiaki ughsoo ulhan vtamins wubulge zelu zeteu zitaoh zitaoq ztaoz

2

   ох уж эти многозначные слова .__.

~~~

  парень, я ж тебе говорила - беги!

~~~

[EN] asktheritacom: Now, while this handsome one is still here, bang him with a camera!

*Lazy knows what ‘bang’ means ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) *

*seems like he knows it, too*

*only this one is acting like a retard*

[Photobomb] ~Erm… you mean hit him on head?

anonymous asked:

dd/lg isn't my fetish but maybe they wouldn't get so much hate if they weren't so fucking extra. I like whips you don't see me screaming about the joys of domination and how humanity derives meaning from pain to anyone or acting like a retarded kid.

Its their form of expression and they have a right to it.

Like, they’re running their blogs for people to see, they’re gonna be extra that’s their right as sexually liberated humans.

Ppl just need to leave them alone tbh.

My Blue Moon

“I thought that fallin in love wouldn’t be that easy after being all fucked up by someone else, untill i saw you, until i talked to you, untill i touched you, felt you, the sweet of your touch and kiss, the hunger of your inner beast, the love of your soul, the unique beauty of all you, from the inside to the outside, i don’t know, it’s just YOU, the way you take your hair off of your eyes, the smile you make when i talk bullshit and act like an retarded, your filthy jokes that makes me laught like no tomorrow, your hug when you’re cold, the way you look at me when i call you daddy’s lill girl, i just love all of you, your eyes, your eyes are the most Beautifull eyes i ever seen, your smile, its like a Beautifull afternoon sunshine, your hair it’s like an Ocean were i lose my self on purpose just to be found by you, your kiss takes me to another dimension, into a world, all ours, and only ours, i love you, all of you, and only you, i don’t say this things to you just to make you get in love with me, i charm you, i adore you, i say all this things, because I’M in love with you, from my body to my soul, i LOVE YOU like i never loved before, because you kiss me like no one else kissed before, you touche my like no one else did, look at me as i was your sun, your light, please me as a god, and love me as the only men in earth, because you make me feel especial, unique, your’s, so i love you, i adore you, i’m all, and only, your’s Babydoll, and from those eyes i’ll only let tears of happines and joy fall, i’m not perfect, at all, neither are you, but were perfect for each other, in all ways, we have our diferences, but those diferences complete each other, we might not be soulmates, but we wore made for each other, and i promisse, and i don’t give a Fuck about what motherfuckers did to you before me, i’m not them, and i’m sorry for not being here before, but i’ll be here with you, forever, that May sound to much, but i want to be like that, and nothing beside us will change that, ever, because i found you baby, even after all the fucked up bullshit, i finally found you, my moon. ❤”

@pierce–the–kat love you daddy’s baby girl 😘.