acting like a cow

It is so strange to me how so many people share all these cute videos/pictures of cows, pigs, and chickens on Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter, etc. and y’all still continue to eat these animals. Okay you want to eat animals whatever but why are you sharing a video of Esther the pig who was in a factory farm but is now living her life at a sanctuary and commenting on how cute she is and how pigs are so smart when yesterday you had bacon for breakfast? 

People do not see the meat they eat as an actual living being. You have absolutely no connection to the meat on your plate but when you see a pig, cow or chicken “acting” like a dog, suddenly you see the value in this animal and you think it is cute.

Can we just cut the bullshit? Stop calling yourself an “animal lover.” You are not an animal lover because if you were, you would not eat them. You would not continue to support the torture, exploitation, and slaughter of animals. You are a “cat and dog” lover. That is it. Be real. 

Guys My Age (Yoongi x Reader)

Summary: “Guys my age don’t know how to touch me, don’t know how to love me good…” After dumping her cheating, chronically-stoned boyfriend, Y/N Y/L/N swears she’s fucking DONE with guys her age. Enter Min Yoongi, Y/N’s old crush– who also happens to be her father’s coworker. Y/N and Yoongi run into each other at a club, where Y/N’s only goal is to come for the first time in months. Yoongi is more than happy to help her reach it.

Warnings: SMUT, cursing, age-gap

Word count: 6,034

A/N: Has anyone noticed my Hey Violet obsession yet? I’m thinking of doing something for “Unholy” next after I finish my “to-be-completed” list… let me know what u think ;) Follow for more or subscribe to me on AO3, where I’m listed as MelWinchester/PichiWrites. notes and reblogs help me out ever so much! Love love love <3 (gif not mine)

Originally posted by hidden--demons


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Wings & Embers analysis [2/2]

[Find part 1 here!]

POV switch to Cassian!

“One moment, he’d wanted to throttle her, then he’d read that terror on her face regarding her own past and he’d gone so murderously calm he’d scared even himself, then… then it had all stopped, the eye of a storm with them in it, and there she was.

And in those blue-gray eyes, he could see the thoughts swirling in her as if they were smoke under glass. The cunning mind at work behind that face—the one he hadn’t been able to get out of his head these week.

So he’d just… moved.”

[UGH. If they’re not mates, then idk what that means anymore.]

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anonymous asked:

If Mari gets a plant baby will she give birth to it or will it "magically appear"? (via making it in cas and acting like it popped outta nowhere)

wouldn’t it be interesting if Tikki the cow plant just kinnda… sprouted a baby? And Marinette is just like “Oh, i guess I have a new daughter now” and she names her Tikki also?

pettyluxury  asked:

Idk if you'll get this lmao but where do you find those pictures for your icon!?!?? The girl's so pretty!!! 😭

I actually did get it (obviously I mean) and what an accomplishment tbh lmao // I usually go scouring for icons on pinterest but there are some ppl on tumblr who make rlly awesome icons like @preselys + @thaleias + @guavabisexual and a host of others I can’t remember rn rip but yeah!! defo check em out they’re really good at what they do

also since ur here, I might as well give u the br + name aes u’ve been sending in but tumblr kept eating asking for lmao

blograte (for ur sideblog @cosmicsabaisssm):

e.p: citrine | nemesis | honeywater | tangle | handmade songs
album: death of a bachelor | hopeless fountain kingdom | melodrama | hell’s kitchen angel | unbreakable smile
venue: atlantis | the louvre | southern wild | basement party | palace
tour: heaven in hiding | homemade dynamite | gravel to tempo | cold air | don’t threaten me with a good time
supporting act:  lorde | halsey | panic! at the disco | max | tori kelly

name aes:

G - gibberish / max
E - eyes closed / halsey
M - memories / panic! at the disco
I - intro/set3 / the 1975
N - neighbours / j cole
E - expensive / tori kelly
É - ease my mind / hayley kiyoko

want one?

She did not care for children’s books in which the children grew up, as what ‘growing up’ entailed (in life as in books) was a swift and inexplicable dwindling of character; out of a clear blue sky the heroes and heroines abandoned their adventures for some dull sweetheart, got married and had families, and generally started acting like a bunch of cows.
—  Donna Tartt, The Little Friend
[Eng Translation]  Lee Jong Suk’s Ceci Interview ,  Nov. 2016

When Actor Lee Jong-Suk participated in the proposition of Designer Lee Seul’s fashion brand NOYB, shot the pictorials for it, produced the sweatshirts collaboratively and donated part of the profit, many people were surprised. This idea all originated from Actor Lee Jong-suk. To him, it is unnecessary to say things like nurturing the novice designer. He only wants to work with people he likes, wear the clothes he likes and do something he likes. And this is just the beginning.

Q: I thought it is interesting once I heard that Jong-suk ssi planned the art project of “Lee Jong-suk X NOYB” personally. Was there any juncture that prompted you to start this?

A: Before the start of TV drama “W”, I rested for one and a half year. That was probably the first time I took a rest after running like a racing horse. At that time, I met my friends and chatted with them. We thought it’s great to do something interesting together. So, I became the main director for the brand NOYB which Designer Lee Seul and her friend applied for a year ago. I was wondering what are the ways I could be of help, and so we began the collaborative plan.

Q: Your relationship between Designer Lee Seul and our photographer of the pictorials today, Yoo Gyeong-un, impressed us as well.

A: They are the people who played a role at the turning point in my life. The relationship between Noona Lee Seul and me is a novice model and a undergraduate who was preparing for her graduation work. The relationship between Gyeong-un and me is an actor who failed in the daily auditions and a student who loves taking photos. We became close gradually. We chatted about our concern about the future when we had coffee in a cafe. Now, we all seem to be in the centre of our dreams. That’s really great. And Noona So-hyeon who is having interview with me, we also have very good relationship since I was a novice actor. It is also good to remember the past together with old friends, but I feel more excited to talk about the present moment.

Q: The promotion of the plan as well as your creativity really surprised us. In addition, there must be a lot of details to handle regarding the business process.

A: Last year, I collaborated with my designer friend to produce the sweatshirts for the fans. I think the process of transforming the things from my mind to a concrete product is really interesting. This time, the collaboration with NOYB to produce the sweatshirts “Hugs & Kisses” is the same. How should I do to make people like it? It will be great if many people like it.

Q: Honestly, it is not an easy choice for a capitalistic society that is particular about the value of any endorsement. Actually, this is to help a brand right?
A: Luckily, YG respects and supports the choice of the artiste.


Q: We can see your passion in acting seeing how you work like a cow to complete your work. Although you had lots of interviews, you didn’t disclose your orientation actually.

A: I often disclosed my feelings and orientation in Me2day or Cyword in the past. I became cautious starting from the time when the photos I uploaded to SNS which I wanted to communicate with my fans became a news topic immediately, giving me a sense of burden.

Q: It seems that this project will become more cordial to the style of Actor Lee Jong-suk.

A: I’d like to take on the challenge of any happy things other than acting, maybe something other than clothing. Part of the profit of the collaborative sweatshirts and other projects in the future is planned to donate to some meaningful place, although it’s only the beginning stage right now.

Q: Really looking forward to it. At the shooting site, Jong-suk’s high school’s friend visited him. You said your interpersonal relationship is narrow but deep in the interview last time. So what kind of person will you open your heart to mainly?

A: There is no one who strikes an attitude around me, and there are many who have pure minds & are straightforward. We are very frank and have deep relationship which can go very far.

Q: There are still many people who can’t forget Kang Chul in TV drama “W”. In a Korean drama world full of stereotyped plots, love triangles and Cinderella stories, it has been assessed to open a new era.

A: I’m in very good mood. We ranked the first even in the fierce ratings competition. I felt quite good by just reading the 4 episodes of the script and thought “this is incredible,”. The comic characters in this setting are very fresh, such as the contradiction between the creator and the creature and the contradictory structure. This enables the audience to have a lot of things worth thinking about.

Q: Audience has different response about the ending of the drama. Half of them think it’s a happy ending, Writer Song said in an interview, “It’s not bad if Kang Chul died at the end”. 

A: I agree with the writer. The ending of the TV drama isn’t a happy ending to anyone. Kang Chul lost someone who created him, his lover Yeon-joo has lost her Dad. I’m curious about what it will be like if I have died at the bus stop as the ending as well. I think this will have a lingering charm for the audience.

Q: You’ve ever said that you want to test the possibility of mature roles via Kang Chul. Has the possibility of the test been well adopted?


A: I can feel the sense of achievement for growing-up every time I finished a work. But this time, compared with growing up, more accurately, I feel I become more mature. Hence, I chose “VIP” as my next work. The manly image and black theme are all vastly different from my existing acting skills. I gained courage via Kang Chul and would like to step forward. And actually this is a kind of adventure for me.

Q: You have always acted as a student in the past, and this is totally different from the role of the son of a North Korean superior official who committed serial killings as he travelled around the world. “As One” and “Doctor Stranger” have a common point in which both are associated with North Korea. In “Hot Young Bloods”, you also showed forth your folksy dialect, right?

A: I like scenes which I can express my emotions. With dialect, the emotional fluctuations will be amplified more, the joy I felt during my acting will also be more and I can also learn more.
Although the roles are all from North Korea, their backgrounds, preferences and personalities are different. The point that I can differentiate my acting details is really interesting.

Q: This is your first time acting as a villain, you must have felt many differences, right?

A: I once saw a saying “humanity is sinful” which impressed me a lot. Acting a villain’s role is a challenge for actors. I’ve never tried such roles before, therefore I anticipated it a lot. I’m curious about whether I can win the praise of “His acting skills are so perfect. I really want to kill him.” from the feeling that “I really want to kill this villain guy." 

Q: Will you have burdens to act as a villain?

A: Of course there will be some people who hate my roles. Younger fans may also reject such kind of roles. But I have been longing for such a role for a long time. And I think it’s time to try it as the opportunity came.

Q: Is there anyone who has objection on your choice? Let’s talk about something you may lose. For example, the younger fans may be part of it.

A: In my mind, there is no one who worries about my decisions. (Laugh) On the contrary, many people said that they are curious about my villain role.

Q: What a warm support for you! This is the trust for you as an actor rather than an idol.

A: Several days ago, I went to Yun Kyun-sang’s housewarming feast. I talked a lot with my friend, Lee Sung-kyung and Kim Eui-sung senbae.
Kim Eui-sung senbae said, "Do not shape the role on purpose just because it’s a villain. He gave me such an advice because sometimes we may want to show off our acting skills, which may result in unnatural performance.” His words taught me a lot.

Q: Is this the same as the singers showing off on purpose?

A: Yep. I didn’t know that before, now I got it. “There are two kinds of actors. One will integrate themselves with the role while doing some creation. The other one will recreate the materials they have inherently. I belong to the later one so I don’t need to add anything else.” He gave me such an advice.
From this point of view, I set many specific tones and pronunciations in “W”, which may not go down well with some people. Now I come to realize more about it.

Kim Eui-sung senbae said that, “the boy in "Face Reader” four years ago has grown up as a man now. How fast it is!“ He added that, "He is curious about my future acting skills.” I really appreciated his compliments and he is a handsome senbae whom I want to rely on.

Q: Kim Eui-sung senbae is really smart. His is famous in Facebook. (Laugh) I feel that you are calmer than before. Is the urgency which drives you to grow up gone? Or can we say that you are more experienced as an actor?

A: Yes, I become calmer than before. Although my acting skills cannot be considered as mature, I care less about my OCD which I must achieve something.
I seldom do something else while I’m preparing for my works in the past. I tried my best to devote all myself to the role from emotion to strength in the past. I even criticized and degraded myself for a better performance.
Looking back, I didn’t cherish myself although I love myself. I love myself but I have low self-esteem. The empty period I mentioned was because of my fear of acting. I reviewed myself and observed the surroundings during my break. Although I didn’t do anything at that period of time, I gained a lot unexpectedly.

Q: It might be a period for you to comfort yourself. You once said that, “You can be more confident via your works, but such kind of feeling has gradually disappeared in a certain moment.” Therefore, you called for a rest period.

A: Yep, I had a rest because of this.

Q: How’s everything going right now?

A: I used to memorize all the script before I can feel at ease in the past. There had been situation that I fainted suddenly during the shooting because I didn’t sleep. Surprisingly, I didn’t feel uneasy even I’ve just memorized four out of eight episodes of the script of W. It’s really amazing, as if I had trusted myself unknowingly. Thinking about it carefully, even if I do not put myself into a corner, I live my life seriously. The desire of growing up and the humble awareness that I was not born talented is my motivation so far. I won’t be so stubbornly biased in the future.

Q: You seem to be more confident. How do you feel as you move forward approaching the thirties from the mid-twenties?

A: I responded in every interview that I wanted to be an irreplaceable actor, but I really don’t know now because it is becoming more and more difficult. If 10 points is the most for achieving my dream, I feel like I didn’t achieve that at the moment. No, maybe I can’t reach it. I wanted to be an actor who focus on my acting originally. However, it’s a bit ironic that I’m more like an idol now. Although it’s difficult to accept this, I need to admit it. In the past, I worked very hard in order to be an actor, but now, I understand the importance of being determined.

Q: People often say that the beginning of a man’s life is after his 30s, what do you think you’ll be like after thirty?

A: I want to know what I have to do in order to have a more blissful life. I think I’ll get the answer when I’m thirty. It’s fine to know it roughly. (Laugh)

Translated by:@Evahoyw ,@Michelle,@Faith0639

Proofread by: @Evahoyw ,@Joanna5959

Cr: jshine_fc_leejongsuk

My fave anime and manga consumers are the ones who are super obvious that they used to love Naruto when they were ages 11 to 14 but now they look back and say “ugh cringe”. They only read the most surface level popular shonen but swear it’s 10000000% better than Naruto despite it being just as average but because the memory of them being a dorky kid weeb in middle school keeps them up at night they act like an elitist till the cows come home. Honestly keep an eye out when someone talks about the newest hottest anime they’ll say “better than naruto” when Naruto was never mentioned nor brought up at all. It’s not enough to say “oh I grew out of it” they need NEED to tell you that they hate it like grow up

  • When dinner-time conversation turns to the absurdity/impracticality of physics exercises, and I try to give an example
  • Me: Imagine a perfectly spherical cow, acting like a point source
  • Mum: So a bit like a cow sized Jupiter
  • Me: It carries an electric charge
  • Mum: So someone rubbed it with a balloon
  • Me: It is in a magnetic field
  • Mum: Ok, green grassy field (hence why spherical) with magnetic metal fences on two sides
  • Me: It is moving
  • Mum: Two very large people are throwing it to each other
  • Me: This produces an electric current
  • Mum: The spherical Jupiter-cow is actually being pushed through a long narrow pond, making a current
  • BONUS
  • Me: Of course, this is electro-magnetism, so the ‘cow’ has no mass
  • Mum: … Sorry, no can do. Visualisation error.

Hajimeme: Man the people I’m surrounded by are so weird and childish wtf

Hajimeme canonically: *screamed “BE FREE” to hermit crabs to be free from Saionji’s terror, his only pets ARE hermit crabs, worried about his monocoins when faced with exiting the Neo World Program, actually debated playing russian roulette with ko until ko said that he thought you were supposed to put bullets in every round, jokingly said he was going to assassinate Peko, if you count the anthologies willingly decided to act like gundam and called a cow his best friend.*

Why Brian called me "ground beef"
  • Me: *my turn in line for a group photo w/ PVRIS at their acoustic set*
  • Everyone: *crowds around Lynn*
  • Me: *sees lone Brian* *stands next to Brian*
  • Me: "Wanna hear a joke?"
  • Brian: "A joke? Me."
  • Me: "Hold on."
  • Brian and I: *lean on each other and put up peace signs*
  • Photographer: *takes picture*
  • Brian: "Alright, what's this joke?"
  • Me: "What do you call a cow w/ no legs?"
  • Brian: *struggles to act like he doesn't know but doesn't want to reveal that he already knows the answer*
  • Brian: "I..already know it" *laughs*
  • Me: "Ground beef, gOD!"
  • *Later that evening at the VIP M&G*
  • Me: *walks up to PVRIS*
  • Brian: "Hey ground beef!!!"
  • Me: -___-

I’m trying to get to my backlog of questions/friend requests (so sorry for the delay! Dx I’m doing a bit better). It doesn’t help that Tumblr has been a bit wonky lately… >.> 

But here are a few more random notes/tips/etc.

1. Travelling Salesmen

I need to make an apology on this one! >o< It turns out, I’m worse with numbers than I thought. And I probably need new glasses or something.

I thought that the travelling salespeople could first come in Autumn of Year 1. I was wrong. It’s Autumn of Year 2. Autumn 7th, to be exact.

I’ve studied the travelling salesman portion of the Famitsu guidebook time and time again, but I always thought it said “1年目秋” (Year 1 Autumn). But it doesn’t.

I will admit that I do have some vision issues, but I think that’s the first time I’ve mistaken a “2″ for a “1″.  >///< I even took off my glasses and studied it up close to make sure that I was right. And I thought that “7″ was a “1″ at first, adding to my confusion. Wow. Just…wow. xD 

I am so sorry for misleading everyone. ;_;

By the way, the above text says:

The Days the Travelling Salesmen (Home Sales) Will Come
* The first appearance will be the 7th of Autumn (Fall), Year 2.
* From then on, every 20 days, there is a 50% chance one will appear [if you exit your house at the right time–9AM-6PM]. (After 60 days it’s a 100% chance one will appear.)

2. That Elusive Mitten Crab

I have never caught a mitten crab, in either the Japanese or English versions. So I had to do a little research into this one.

The mitten crab is considered one of the “big fish,” a rare species that can be caught only when you’ve caught all the other fish in its area. You’ll also need an upgraded fishing rod to catch it–which means you must have access to the Tropical Country.

The mitten crab can only be found in the wheat/rice paddy area, which means you just have to have caught all the fish in that area. Evidently, the crab can only be caught from the upper pier. 

I haven’t unlocked the Tropical Country yet in the English version, but I have noticed that I catch more fish from that upper pier in the wheat/rice paddy area. If I fish from the lower pier, I mostly catch garbage. 

The mitten crab soup recipe (or whatever it’s called in the English version), is in recipe set 4. It’s one you receive as a festival prize.

The mitten crab is called the “Shanghai Crab” in Japanese, which led to some confusion on my end when people first started asking about the crab. xD (”Mitten crab? What’s that?! I haven’t heard of……ohhhh it must be the Shanghai Crab! Hrm…”)

Fritz has surprisingly sophisticated taste, doesn’t he? Well, he IS a good cook, so he really knows fine soup when he sees it, I guess…


3. Bricks for Sale! (And other Year 2 Goodies)

How do you buy pearls? Bricks? Etc.? The answer: Be patient! Those are available as soon as Year 2 begins.

The Rose Country. I think they had 15 for sale this day. As you can see, they also sell herbs and glass stones.

The Cabin Country. Jerseys, Suffolks and alpacas are now available!

By the way, alpacas are skittish at first. They’ll run away when you approach them. This is perfectly normal behaviour. They’ll calm down once they get about 1 heart of affection. After a while they’ll start following you around.

I kind of wish that the cows acted like that too; I’d love to see a big fat cow nimbly scurrying away. xD 

Sakura Country. They sell pearls! Someday, they’ll also sell the elusive gold pearl. That one won’t be available for a while, though.

The antique shop also sells pearls, but only the yellow pearl is available at first. (Why does Mistel seem to have an endless stock of copper ores and yellow pearls? No idea…but he will eventually sell more ores and more pearls.)

DAVID FEISS

(born April 16, 1959) is an American animator.

Feiss was born in Sacramento, California. He joined Hanna-Barbera around 1978 while still a teenager.

He worked on the 1980s revival of The Jetsons, was a key animator on the Jetsons movie, co-animated the Ren and Stimpy pilot “Big House Blues”, was an animation director on The Ren & Stimpy Show during its first season and created the Cartoon Network original series Cow and Chicken and its spin-off,I Am Weasel. On his shows, David directed every episode and also worked as a writer, his writing credits usually collaborated with Michael Ryan.

Best known for: COW & CHICKEN, I AM WEASEL, OPEN SEASON

Here’s another creator that was instrumental to the rising success of Cartoon Network in the 1990′s and the new age of creator driven animation that also arose at the time.

If I haven’t over-explained before I will now. Up until the 1990′s, cartoons were largely the creation of major corporations; toy companies, food manufacturers, movie/television companies, etc. The only places that really made independently created animation without large corporate oversight were the likes of Hanna-Barbera and Filmation but event hen they were still commissioned by corporate suits to produce cartoons. Gotta pay the bills, ya know?

Then came the 90′s and cartoon broadcasting companies were willing to take chances and put their faith in animators, writers, and artists to produce in-house animated series’ for them. Nickelodeon, to the best of my knowledge were the first with their range of Nicktoons but Cartoon Network followed suit with their own range of Cartoon Cartoons, formerly called What-A-Cartoons and World Premiere Toons. As I said before, Feiss was a key player throughout the rise of this new age.

He got his feet wet with Hanna-Barbera, and co-animated, directed, and did writing on Ren & Stimpy alongside his pal and fellow animator,  John Kricfalus. John K. (as I’ll refer to him) and Feiss both share similar animation philosophies and styles which is quite evident when you look at Cow & Chicken with its offbeat, surreal humor, almost visceral physical humor, and overall strangeness that harkins back to the days of theatrical animation and early Hanna-Barbera. In fact, you can’t go to any forum and mention Cow & Chicken without some form of contempt from someone who will call the show a rip-off or unreasonable facsimile of Ren & Stimpy.

In a way, people are right about the similarities between the two shows and that’s possibly why many have more fond memories of  I Am Weasel. While that show did have plenty of surreal humor and physical comedy it also had more grounded plots, and a refined, intellectual protagonist (voiced by  Michael Dorn by the way) with a dimwitted foil to act off of.

Anyway, even if you don’t like Cow & Chicken, ya gotta give it up to Feiss who stayed with his creation throughout it’s whole run, pulling triple duty as director, writer, and sometimes even story boarder.

Going back to John K. for a minute, if I had to describe Feiss in conversation, I would call him The Good Guy version of John K. Don’t get me wrong, John K. is a very talented and creative man with a love for cartooning and animation that I can’t even fathom– but the guy is kind of a douchebag. If you’ve seen him in interviews, read his blog posts, or anything of the sort he comes across as a major prima donna with a skull so thick it could deflect a bullet. He’s so stuck on traditional animation and older, out of fashion styles of comedy, and he constantly denounces 3D animation and modern animating techniques. I appreciate how much he loves animation but christ, stop being such a curmudgeon already!

Feiss on the other hand is the exact opposite. He too loves animation but throughout the years he’s been apart of all sorts of projects that have used different techniques and styles. Sure he’s not really all that big of a name anymore and as we’re about to find out he’s been a key player for some real crap but he’s carved out a good niche for himself where he can apply his style in all sorts of different features.

Since Cow & Chicken and I Am Weasel he’s been an animator/director/writer for movies and short films based on the likes of Shrek, Dreamworks’ Dragons, Rango, Free Birds, The Box Trolls, Despicable Me, Madagascar, and Open Season. Heck, he hasn’t even stopped animating for television, he’s also done work for the utterly adorable (and surprisingly entertaining) Korean based series, YooHoo & Friends.

Seriously, look at this, have you ever seen anything so cute in your life?

((EDIT: he actually worked on an Americanized dub for later in the show’s life that wasn’t very popular, my mistake, I didn’t research that well enough))

I’m gonna wrap this up here, welcome to Creator Corner, David Feiss

Hey taylorswift. I don’t know but I thought maybe you’d like to hear the story of the first time I heard your music cause that day changed my life FOREVER! So here I go. I doubt you’ll see this but WHATEVERRR!

Flashback to 2006! (I was about to turn 6 years old!) I’ve always loved music and it’s always been a major part of my life. I’ve been acting since I can remember and when I was little I use to sing as well. (I stopped cause I sound like a dying cow but I still act!) So it was a warm Saturday night and I was at my old country house. I use to always play this game called “American Idol” where my brother and babysitter and I would all sing and then judge each other. My babysitter was coming over one night and we were going to go to a carnival. But first I wanted to play American Idol but she had a better idea. She was like “Hey Sammy. I bought this album the other day and I’ve been DYING TO SHOW IT TO YOU ALL WEEK! Instead of playing American Idol can I play the CD for you in my car before we leave for the carnival?” Five year old me was a little disappointed cause WHO WOULDN’T WANT TO PLAY AMERICAN IDOL FOR THE 800000TH TIME?! Lol. But I always had this thing where I loved hearing new artists and music. So I said yes and we dragged my brother into the car with us. (He only came cause we promised it’s only be like 10 minutes and then we’d leave) So the three of us got in the car and opening the little window on the hood of the car so we could see the stars. My babysitter started the album and something changed that second. I got this extremely weird and magical feeling the second your music came on. I was in love. I was hooked. I was captivated. And I still am. Those ten minutes we promised my brother ended up being 2 hours. We played the whole album all the was through twice and by the time we were about to leave the carnival was over. We never made it out of the driveway that night and man am I glad we didn’t because the moment has changed my life for the better. The rest of the summer I constantly watched YouTube videos of you singing and I marched around my house repeating EVERY SINGLE word to your songs. But remember I was only 5 so it was quite funny. I had no clue what the songs meant or what they were about but I did know they made me feel special. So here I am now 14 years old and nothing has changed. Well except that now your music saves me on a daily basis and brings a smile to my face when nothing else can. I can relate to every single song and it’s great knowing that I have constant support right by my side. NOTHING makes me happier than you so thank you Taylor for everything. I’m so thankful for that night way back in 2006 and I wouldn’t change it for anything. I love you so much and will support you forever.
Xoxo!

Being otherkin and being trans: two very different things.

One of the biggest anti-otherkin argument is that otherkin are an embarrassment to trans people. Considering the number of blatantly ridiculous (and often transphobic) troll posts I’ve seen lately, I am not surprised that people think this way. Some antis claim that we deliberately, purposefully created our entire movement just to make fun of trans people, make trans people look bad, or worse still, pretend to be trans while being cis. Other antis even think that we are delusional and therefore believe that being otherkin automatically makes us trans. Where does all this stuff come from, and what do we do about it?

In the early 2000s, I remember using a lot of Pagan/Wiccan forums. I started studying Wicca when I was fourteen. The first time I encountered otherkin, I came across an explanation that read something like “otherkin are people who believe that they are animals born in the wrong body. It’s kind of like being trans only with animals instead of gender.” This was one person’s definition (which likely came from a need to compare being otherkin to an experience people at least kind of understand already), and is hardly a widespread or popular one.

Keep in mind that in the early 2000s, I was not aware of any trans narrative outside the “X trapped in a Y body” one that transmedicalists support. There was no Tumblr, and there wasn’t really a visible trans community where I lived. The comparison between otherkin and trans people actually made otherkin more confusing to me (not less confusing). It made sense to me that a simple “mistake” could happen as a human child was being born, and a child who was “meant to be” a girl could accidentally get a Y chromosome (and not develop androgen insensitivity syndrome and therefore be designated male at birth). However, it did not make sense to me that a soul that was supposed to become a reindeer in this life would accidentally be dropped off in a human womb. It seemed silly to me, so I didn’t really believe it was a thing.

Later on (circa 2009-2011), the conversation about otherkin became more widespread/easier to research. Instead of saying “I’m a whale trapped in a human body,” you’d see a variety of different explanations from whale-kin like “I was a whale in my most recent past life, and I’m not really sure what I’m doing as a human this go-round,” or “I was a whale before, and I identify more with that life than with this one,” or “my astral body is that of a whale, and I can sometimes feel my fins,” or even “I feel more resonance with the whale species than with the human one.” Back then, I still was not seeing much acceptance of/discussion about coping-kin or fiction-kin, which is why I haven’t mentioned them yet.

Some otherkin I met around 2010 (and later) have described a relationship between their kin types and their genders. Here are some examples (both from my own experience and from those of others):

I met someone who identified as male but presented female in day-to-day life. This is/was because he identified more with his past life as a male non-human than with this life, but he was not interested in physically transitioning in this life. I don’t think this guy referred to himself as trans, but I don’t remember.

Sometimes I’ll encounter people whose gender and species identities are either independently or interdependently different from what is expected of them in this life. This can look like an AFAB (assigned female at birth) human identifying as a male wolf. This person might call himself trans because of the male part but not because of the wolf part.

When I remembered my own past lives, one of them was a male past life. For a while, I started feeling bi-gender or even male. This lasted until I remembered my original life, wherein gender worked a lot differently than it does here. Because the gender that feels closest to me relies on an understanding of a separate culture that doesn’t exist on Earth, I can’t easily identify it or explain it to people here, so I don’t generally try. As far as most people know, I’m a cis-female or maybe bi-gender.

It always made sense to me how being otherkin-via-past-life might affect a person’s gender identity. It has affected a lot of peoples’ gender identities, but historically speaking, no one has actively made the leap from “I’m a male wolf, so I’m trans and otherkin” to “I’m a wolf, so naturally my pronouns are gonna change to wolfself regardless of my gender.”

Around 2012-2014, I started using Tumblr. On Tumblr, there are a ton of trolls who make blogs just to tease/make fun of people who are different. Frequently, these trolls will attempt to parody/mimic otherkin based on flimsy understandings of what being otherkin actually means. These are usually the people saying stuff like. “Everyone, I am a bug! My pronouns are now bugger, buggers, and bugself! If you don’t like my pronouns, that’s transphobia! If you step on bugs by accident, that’s genocide! Moreover, if you watch A Bug’s Life or any other cartoon movie about bugs, that’s cultural appropriation! UWU!!!!”

Sadly, the vast majority of people on Tumblr don’t recognize a troll when they see one. This means that trolls actually encourage other trolls to send hate mail to otherkin saying stuff like “THIS is why I fear for humanity! This bullshit insanity! You’re not fucking trans just because you’re a dolphin, gawd!” People who never once said that their kin type(s) made them trans get messages like this (from what I’ve heard).

In addition to troll messages, you sometimes get new members of the community (or even just people who are questioning whether or not they fit into it) showing up right as new onslaughts of troll posts have come out. They might mistakenly think (based on reading that) that being otherkin means they get new pronouns and that the best way to fit in with otherkin is to scream about how mowing the lawn oppresses plant-kin. The sad thing is, all people really need to act militantly certain and self-righteous about something is to be told “everyone is doing it!” This is why I think troll posts that are meant to prevent people from sounding like fools by saying their genders are dog/wolf/cow/chicken/etc. actually encourage people to act like that. Friendly reminders that species identities are not genders would be a lot more useful than “har har look how stoopids da otherkins be!” posts.

To be fair, there still are some people who think of themselves as trans-species and think of themselves as wolves trapped in human bodies. Many of these people actually experience powerful, frightening, life-altering dysphoria. Sometimes, otherkin who don’t call themselves trans-species also experience dysphoria. It is important to remember that not all dysphoria is gender dysphoria. That means that a person can say they feel “dysphoric” without appropriating trans terminology. There are some dysphoric otherkin who are also trans and say the dysphoria feels very similar. There are also some dysphoric (and trans) otherkin who say the dysphoria is completely different. Even if there are otherkin and trans people with dysphoria and those experiences can sometimes be compared, that does not mean that otherkin are “basically trans” or need new pronouns just for being otherkin.

Unfortunately, I think a lot of the developments in otherkin terminology have somewhat mirrored the developments in trans terminology. This has perhaps prolonged the unnecessary comparisons between the two communities (which I will talk about in a bit). Both communities have undergone some changes in order to be more inclusive and less gated. In both communities, there are people who are extremely unhappy with those changes.

Let’s first address transgender people. A few years ago, I remember psychiatry being the golden standard for whether or not you were trans. Gender identity disorder was still in the DSM, and trans people often had to convince doctors they fit the diagnostic criteria. Even today, I hear this can still happen. AMAB people were expected to prove that they had mostly female friends growing up, played with dolls instead of trucks, and played “dress up” with someone else’s female clothes (usually a mother or a sister’s) as children. AFAB people were expected to prove that they had mostly male friends as children, liked cars/trucks instead of dolls, and played “dress up” with someone else’s male clothes when they were children. This criteria seems based on antiquated ideas of gendered behavior. These days, AFAB people are encouraged to have male friends and to play with “boy toys” because our society’s current pseudo-egalitarianism looks like “girls” doing “boy things” like playing sports and “boys” never touching “girl things” like dolls. Some trans girls might be tomboys or not “girly girls” and therefore evade suspicion growing up. Besides this, AMAB people are often teased for having female friends or playing with “girl toys,” so trans girls might not do these things even if they want to.

Beyond these criticisms, many trans people have argued that gender is fluid and that people’s gender identities can shift/adjust/change/evolve over time. People have also argued that gender is socially constructed and therefore not intrinsically tied with genitals for anyone (including non-trans people). In more accepting/progressive circles, people are considered trans as long as they feel trans. No cross-examination or “where’d you get that idea?” is required.

A few years ago, I remember the community really wanting people to actually remember past lives or have other specific reasons for identifying as otherkin. The problem came in when people who just knew somehow that they were otherkin but could not remember any past lives wanted in. There were also people who did not even believe in past lives, did not believe in spiritual things at all, etc. Everyone wanted in. These days, it’s generally acceptable to consider yourself kin as long as you identify as a non-human being and not just with a non-human being (ie: dolphins are kind like me, so I can kind of relate to them sort of in some ways maybe). However, lately there has been some controversy on Tumblr surrounding this issue. Some argue that if you feel otherkin, you are, regardless of whether or not you actually identify as a non-human and literally are the person you identify as. This drives a few people up the wall and starts some ugly fights on Tumblr.

What I’m driving at here is that both communities have moved toward an “if you think you are, then you are” model (which not every member agrees with). The problem is that “I feel like a pill bottle today, so I am definitely a pill bottle” sounds a lot sillier when you say it out-loud than “I’m bi-gender and I feel more masculine today, so use male pronouns today, please.” Sometimes, people might even say “I just know I’m a dog, so you can’t tell me I’m not,” sounds too much like it’s making fun of trans people for saying “I just know I’m non-binary, so you can’t tell me I’m not.” Is this just because we’re more used to hearing one than the other, or is one actually more reasonable than the other? Let’s explore that.

If gender can be understood to be fluid and to be a social construct, that means that our own experiences of gender are (in some ways) a reflection of how we see ourselves within the society that created those categories. Having a penis or a vagina is not a social construct, but the social role that the body part automatically gives you is one. Most people who are trans adopt the social functioning of the gender that fits them best but do not actually get bottom-surgery because a.) it is expensive and b.) the genital shape is often less important than the ability to be viewed and treated as the correct gender.

In the case of gender, there is also the fact that everyone grows up bombarded with messages about and targeted toward members of all kinds of gender identities. AMAB people don’t miss the advertisements, stereotypes, messages, etc. that are meant for girls and may even internalize those much more than the ones meant for boys because they don’t see themselves as boys. No one misses discussions about embracing your “feminine side” or your “masculine side,” and the degree to which those suggestions affect an individual will vary based on the individual. Even androgyny and gender neutrality are commented on in the media, even if it’s rarely ever positive representation.

There is much less encouragement for people to consider how they relate to their sense of species. Being human is seen as such a default that the only time when humans are ever asked to consider what it would be like to be a cat, a dog, a fairy, etc. is around Halloween (or any other time when imaginative play is encouraged). No kid ever goes to the toy store and sees “human toys” and “dragon toys” and has to decide if they belong in the human aisle, the dragon aisle, both, or neither. You never have to ask yourself “can I be a human and like dragon toys, or does liking the dragon toys automatically subtract from my humanity?” In short, kin type and species identity is not a conversation you are having with society and social norms (not to mention capitalism) every time you make a choice.

Since being otherkin is not a social construct nor has species ever been depicted as a spectrum, it makes much less sense to say “I feel more chicken-like today” or “it’s high time I get in touch with my dragon side!” unless you already have those kin types in you somehow.

For some otherkin, our identities are based partially on other lives and other worlds. Spiritual otherkin are in a unique situation wherein we are asking people to respect identities that come from past lives, parallel lives, other worlds, etc. The problem here is that some people do not believe in past lives and are against even considering it. This means that they can accept that we believe we lived past lives, but because they don’t believe in past lives, they cannot account for where our memories come from (beyond imagination) and they cannot account for why our old cultures/species identities/languages/etc. are so important to many of us. The best most people can do is “believe that we believe,” but without actual belief, we are stuck in this category of “people who are wrong but not hurting anyone so whatever” when we want our identities and experiences and memories to be as valid as anyone else’s. Even close friends of ours may only humor parts of our identities that are extremely important to us.

Trans people can run into a similar issue, but it’s not the same issue at all. Some people have a different fundamental assumption about what gender even is than most trans people do (ie: gender = the genitals you have). In that paradigm, there is literally no possible way that a non-intersex person with XY chromosomes, a penis, no breasts, etc. is a woman. However, some people will concede that because being seen as men causes trans women distress, we ought to stop in order to be nice. This is a similar “believe that you believe” outcome, but it has a very different source than the “believe that you believe” experience of spiritual otherkin. People cannot accept that I am non-human in spirit because they don’t believe in reincarnation or don’t believe that past lives matter or don’t believe that souls even exist for that matter. They are fundamentally incapable of believing my experiences matter or have happened. People who strongly believe in the genitals = gender structure our current society has aren’t failing to believe what trans people experience. Many of them are fully able to accept every memory of feeling feminine, every experience of dysphoria, every happy memory of presenting female, etc. that a trans woman talks about. What they cannot accept is any alternation to the definition of gender. In short, this is not a fundamental disbelief that people’s memories happened or a fundamental lack of belief in someone’s very existence so much as a fundamental disagreement over the meaning of a word.

Don’t get me wrong. A lot of hatred, bigotry, restriction, etc. comes from that disagreement. I am not making light of it, but I think the implications of accepting trans people when you believe that genitals = gender are much different from the implications of accepting spiritual otherkin when you believe something different about the nature of reality itself.

If you accept that genitals = gender, you have to consider a lot of hard questions. If genitals don’t automatically equal gender, then is your gender really what you think it is, or did you just accept that because people told you to? If gender doesn’t come from genitals, then what happens to your sexual orientation? Are you attracted to women or people with vaginas? Is there a point to calling people “gay” and “straight” if gender is ultimately whatever the individual makes of it? Does that label make sense at all now that some people identify as non-binary? Does the gay marriage debate even make sense if gender is purely identity? What about sexism? How do we understand misogyny against AFAB people in a world where AMAB people can be women? These questions tug at issues like sexism and heterosexism quite intensely. They also tug at what we value as a culture (fertility, marriage, family, etc.).

Accepting spiritual otherkin is a different situation because it doesn’t tug at –isms so much as the fundamental conflict between spirituality and science. If there are hundreds of anecdotal stories about people coming from different worlds, is it 100% logical or scientific to just go “nuh uh just cuz” at those people without looking into it/interviewing them/trying to understand better? Is it always going to be in humanity’s best interest to just leave spirituality alone and let people have their own subjective beliefs versus trying to find the truth with every method we have available? Can the truth be found, or will spirituality always be a matter of opinion? When numerous people are experiencing astral projection (some of whom have never researched it) and reporting very similar experiences, can we really just chalk it up to subjective flights of fancy? Do we need to take a look at whether or not prayer works and if so, why? If science were to prove something that went against people’s religion or lack thereof (ie: that reincarnation existed), would that be violating to some? Would it break apart beliefs like Christianity, or would it just be one more thing to reconcile like fossils and carbon dating?

Furthermore, how do we deal with the emotional consequences of actual effort going into proving or disproving a given belief system? How do we deal with the emotional consequences of even wanting our views to be seen as objective and not subjective? If George was abused by spiritual people who pressured him to believe in things that made no sense to him and James has been denied access to real, understanding, actually helpful therapy for his past life trauma because no one believes his abuse is real, can George and James be friends, or do they have to hide their existences from one another to avoid scraping at that ugly question about spirituality?

What do we do about the fact that some people feel as though their spiritual experiences are real and not just imaginary-real/subjective/etc.? If some are, what the hell do we do to avoid upsetting/hurting people who don’t want that in their lives? If people’s spiritual experiences can’t be proven to exist, how do we avoid crushing people who know those experiences are real for them?

These questions are not questions about the ugly “othering” and labeling our society does. They are questions about humanity’s fundamental search for meaning and answers. The misunderstanding and pain spiritual otherkin face is not from a specific –ism. It’s from the way people hurt each other when they’re all faced with mortality but have either no answers or very conflicting answers about what comes next (ranging from everything to nothing to such bad things that you’ll wish you never existed). People are terrified of these questions, and spiritual otherkin may get hurt in the crossfire about that. It’s a different scenario from hitting several different axes of oppression like trans people do.

Occasionally, some axes of oppression do affect otherkin. For example, otherkin are often referred to as “crazy” and subjected to saneism/ableism. However, there is no medical treatment or social understanding required for most otherkin to get jobs that this saneism and ableism prevents us from getting. We don’t have to worry that saneism will shut down our ability to be believed and therefore make it less likely for employers to let us come to work as ourselves. We don’t have to worry that sexism and heterosexism and the current social desire for genders to be easily classifiable will prevent us from finding houses or apartments. Those of us whose kin types are fantastic creatures like fae, angels, etc. do not miss out on “fae-only spaces” if human society does not recognize that we are fae. Those of us whose kin types are animals are probably better off being treated like humans, considering how horribly our society treats animals. The same is sometimes said about trans women, but there is a massive difference between how a non-passable trans woman gets treated and how a costumed otherkin people assume is just a human in a badger suit is treated. The first will face trans misogyny – both misogyny in general because she is presenting female and the added bigotry that comes from feminizing when you are presumed male. In short, trans women are often at greater risk of being stopped by police or harassed than cis women. They also have to worry about harassment from closeted gay men who want to use/degrade pre-op or non-op trans women in order to simultaneously express anger about their own homosexuality, express anger at the women they aren’t attracted to, and “get away with it” without seeming gay. Trans women get treated like “in-between” options, and that means they are vulnerable to harm from people who are in-denial about their own identities or just plain on the fence about what they want. The same risk does not apply to otherkin. No one will call animal control on a human wearing a chicken suit. If a human were ever to “pass” as a chicken, he could still take off the costume and be sent on his way if someone tried to hurt him. A trans woman cannot say “oh but I’m AMAB and get a pass” if she is stopped or harassed because the fact that she’s both AMAB and a woman is something people discriminate against. People might be annoyed with a chicken-kin or refuse to believe he is really a chicken, but he is unlikely to ever have to worry about being sent to a slaughterhouse or even being treated like “the best of both worlds” by someone who’s into bestiality (although do correct me if I’m wrong on that one).  

True, a chicken-kin cannot wear a chicken suit to work, but this is partially because literally no one can type with big floppy feather arms. If a chicken-kin felt dysphoric outside of chicken garb (which is honestly unusual), companies would refuse him because they felt the chicken outfit did not meet the dress code, not because they thought the chicken outfit was “inappropriate” or “scandalous.” It would be a judgment of the attire, not a judgment of the person’s beliefs, lifestyle, etc.

Aside from bullying, I can only think of one major issue that affects otherkin. There can be some restrictions in terms of how much help we can get for mental health issues (when they intersect with past lives/spiritual experiences/etc.) but these are not much different from the restrictions that anyone who works with magic, remembers a past life, has encountered aliens, etc. may face. The restriction comes from edging too far into the dangerous “spirit wilderness” where questions about mortality, the nature of the spirit, whether or not we are alone in the universe, whether or not magic is real, etc. are important ones that need answers instead of fun things to ponder. Not all otherkin, by nature, ever enter this category. All trans people, however, challenge (on some level) the assumption that everyone with a penis is male and everyone with a vagina is female. The social unrest comes as a direct consequence of being trans, not as a consequence of a consequence of it.

Of course, for mental-kin, things are different. People saying “I’m human physically, but I have a chicken brain,” can sound a lot like “I’m male-bodied with a female brain,” which is a somewhat outdated way of viewing trans issues. Coping-kin probably overlap the least with trans people, but they still get dragged into this mess.

In short, being otherkin and being trans are both complicated experiences. Neither are “just silly” by definition. However, they are not the same experience. This means that being otherkin doesn’t get you new pronouns any more than being trans gets you kin types. Can we at least agree on that?

bittersweet feelings

achievement hunter au where there are specific things about them that are triggered by emotions

michael catches on fire when he’s angry, passionate, or embarrassed. he can’t burn anyone tho, they just feel the fire but it’s not hot. when ray falls in love, roses bloom in his hair and on his arms; they wilt and crumble with heartbreak. geoff gains a new tattoo with every meaningful moment in his life. when jack is quiet for a long time while conscious, vines start to grow on his body; they disappear when he makes a loud noise like talking or laughing. gavin’s is dangerous because when he experiences intense physical or emotional pain, he slips out of consciousness, his skin goes pale and his eyes go white and he just stands there until he is healed or comforted. lindsay has cat ears that pop into existence when she’s happy or excited and they act like real ears. when ryan goes a bit insane, he develops cow-like spots on his skin and you can see the beginnings of cow horns on either sides of his head. caleb’s skin glows and his eyes turn a sharp green when he feels appreciated. when he feels ignored, his whole body drains of color.

Postcards From Faraway

She hated how one small letter can drive her heart into pandemonium.

Dear Lily,

I have some questions about a potion you’ve been working on. Would you mind, terribly if we met up one of these days? Drinks and snacks on me! Hahaha. 

James

She bit her lip to bite back the smile threatening to bloom on her face, once again as she reread the letter while she gave Rowie, James’ owl some treats. Her owl Bruce was not happy about it.

She hated that she felt so giddy and light, forgetting about the one million things she had to do because he was asking her out. Okay, so not asking her out, he just wanted to know something about a potion she was working on.

That wasn’t a date right?

“Lily it’s not a date. It’s just friends hanging out.”

Okay, so she wasn’t really quite able to convince herself that it was not a date. 

Because some part of her, a large part of her, actually wished it was a date. Okay all of her wished it was a date.

So in the middle of the night, she caught the Knight Bus to go to Marlene’s house and show her the letter and demand that they analyze every single part of it, even the punctuation marks, because that’s what girls in love do.

“I know. I know it is Marls and I hate that I am acting like a severely brainless vapid cow over it but… Merlin’s beard Marlene, five years, five years and suddenly my world revolves around James Potter. How did this happen?”

She couldn’t explain it either. All she knew was that when she first saw James she hated him.

He was a snot of a boy, he was unkempt, he was a bit arrogant, and his pants were always grimy. His hair fell this way and that around his face. 

She had the privilege of being partnered up with him in Potions class and she really thought he was going to be bad at it. I mean, the boy in the train compartment going on and on about bravery didn’t seem like such a bright boy.

So she was determined to be the brains of the operation and tried her might to make her idiot of a partner follow her.

“No to get the sheen it specifically said to stir counterclockwise and then add the powder.”

“No you have to do it simultaneously.” He smiled at her and offered to do the experiment for her.

She did it his way, not wanting to alienate him immediately, and resigned herself to a failed first experiment but this way she can assert her authority. Imagine her surprise when their potion turned out to be exactly as it should be.

She goggled at him. And she smiled sheepishly at her. “My dad’s a potioneer. I watched him do this so many times.”

Then started the fascination that eventually lead her to this day.

“Ugh Marlene, he’s choosing to be an Auror not a Healer what interest does he have in magizoology cures research?”

“Lily, are you trying to rationalize it as a date in your head?”

“Marlene…”

“Are you?”

“Okay yes. Oh Merlin, I want it to be a date. Damn. Damn it Potter.”

“Lily.”

“What?”

“If you want it to be a date then just turn it into one.”

“Hey Lily!”

“James! Sorry, Kettleburn’s class ran a bit late.”

“S’alright I wasn’t waiting that long.” He smiled up at her, his long dark hair swaying in the wind and he grinned wider when he saw her.

She was late because she skipped Kettleburn’s class and tried to look, as Marlene called it, a human girl and not a potions rat. She just had her ripped jeans on, and her favorite sneakers, but she wore a nice top, okay, it was Marlene’s top. It was a green form hugging sweater, perfect for the fall weather that highlighted her eyes.

Marlene wrestled her hair into a braid, to control the wild bushiness. She put on lip balm and things on her eyes. She looked pretty, a prettier version of herself, and from the looks of James’ grin, he appreciated it.

He was wearing his favorite plaid shirt, rolled up to his elbows and a band shirt underneath. Some wizard band. He looked really adorable, with his floppy hair all over his forehead and his glasses slipping down his nose.

“You look really pretty Lily.”

“Thanks. You’re not half bad either.”

“Well, of course I always look good.”

He gave her a garish wink that sent her into fits of laughter. She always smiled around James, and she forgot that she had nothing to fear, it was always easy to talk to him afterall.

“So, which particular potion are you actually interested in?”

“I heard you were working with Damocles Belby on a new potion for lycantrophy?”

Oh. OH. Of course, he would want to know about Wolfsbane. He wanted to help Remus. Oh. She was so stupid.

“Right. Wolfsbane potion.”

The words tasted like acid in her throat. She really wanted to cry, thinking of the useless hours she spent trying to look nice. Marlene was right, this was just friends helping each other out, for the sake of science right?

She was so stupid.

She forced a smile on her face again, and took out some of her notes from her bag she carried to maintain the ruse that she came from Kettleburn’s class.

“We’re basically finding a way to infuse aconite with things that can neutralize it’s poison and just use it’s main effect.”

“Cure lycantrophy.”

“No. Not exactly cure, but make the symptoms more bearable, let them keep their personality during the change. Mr. Belby is working on extracting the key ingredient away from the poison but so far, we haven’t really been able to fully purify it. We need to look at other avenues for possible distillation techniques. I only wish we can do it sooner, but Mr. Belby is doing everything he can.”

“So it’s not a cure?”

“No. I’m afraid it’s not.”

His shoulders sagged and she knew, he was being a good friend, trying to help Remus. 

“But it will help him. I’m sure he’d like to be himself.. during the change.”

“Lily I don’t know what you’re…”

“You don’t have to say anything, and I won’t say anything obviously. It’s why I took on this project. I want to help him too, and you can be sure, this will help him James. You just have to believe it.”

She touched his hand briefly before quickly retracting her hands and putting her notes inside her bag.

“Well James, I’m afraid I promised Marley that I’m going to tutor her for Care of Magical Creatures, and I’m running a bit late. I’m really sorry, I couldn’t give the answer you wanted.”

“It’s not your fault Lily.”

She gave him one more smile and picked up her bag getting ready to stand up.

“Lily wait.”

James’ cheeks were tinged with red, and his eyes were focused on the tips of his beat up sneakers.

“I ah… promised you drinks and snacks?”

She felt her heart tearing apart and all she wanted now really was to get out of this ridiculous sweater and cry her heart out and maybe consume a lot of chocolate while telling Marlene what an idiot she is.

“It’s okay James, you don’t have to pay me for asking. It’s always a pleasure to talk to you.”

She turned around, determined not to hate James for only thinking about his friend but also giving herself one day to be petty and just blame it all on him and his…. boy personality.

But then he tugged on her hand, preventing her from walking away and he looked up now from the tips of his shoes and stared determined at her eyes.

“Lily do you want to go to Hogsmeade with me, today?”

“James we can’t it’s a school…”

“Please, like a Marauder doesn’t have his ways.”

He smiled at her, the flush still on his cheeks. And her heart started to thud a lot faster.

“But… I told you all I knew about Wolfsbane.”

He shook his head. “See Lily… I may have wanted to learn about Wolfsbane, I wanted to spend time, with you, but I was too much of a coward to do it. So… I’m asking you now, because I will regret it for the rest of my life if I never did. I waited five years Lily… I’m not wasting more time. So Lily Evans,” he murmured her name as he tucked a stray lock of her hair behind her ear and cupped her cheek. “Will you go out with me?”

“You’re asking me out.”

“Yes.”

“On a date?”

She choked on the last word and felt the blood rush to her face, James simply smiled widely at her, nodding his head silently.

“Okay then.”

“Okay.”

Then he twined his hand with hers as he lead her to the statue of the one eyed witch. They laughed the entire way there, and the entire time they were at Hogsmeade, and the entire time for the rest of their lives.