The best advice for younger girls trying to figure out life is to ignore men. In all seriousness. Ignore men’s judgments, men’s insincere compliments, men’s half-assed attempts at romance. Focus on yourself, on developing the true you. Practice your art, volunteer, act in theatre, play sports, invest in your friendships. Do not pour your energy into pleasing men. If you decide to pursue men down the line, they will be there. But striving for male acceptance will waste your youth. You deserve better than anything those men can give you. You deserve a fulfilling sense of self.
Strong will and energy and unless mars is in detriment, prominent vital force. Competitive, impulsive and combative nature. If harmonious, action and willpower are working together and the animal nature of mars is tamed. Needs activity otherwise lethargy makes them ill. Quick, alert and wants to be seen as independent and individualistic. Desire, bravery and ambitions are strong here. If sexually inclined, sexual-nature is apt to be potent. Easily angered, passionate, dominating and opinionated. If afflicted, anger must be kept from becoming destructive and violent, should be used effectively. With the square and opposition there is inner conflict of the identity against the warrior that needs overcoming.
Strong vitality and resilient inner being. Energetic and alert, possesses recuperative abilities. Subtle competitive nature, opinionated and apt to defend those in need. Can be impulsive, moody, hot tempered and easily offended. Subconscious feelings and energy working together if harmonious; the animal nature of mars is tamed and used constructively. Good for leadership roles and gives natural androgynous personality traits, making it easy for friendly but assertive relationships with others if harmonious. The square and opposition bring inner conflict where the needs are concerned; the soul against the warrior. Can get aggressive, selfish and become antagonists to themselves if afflicted. If not grasped healthily, there is bound to be trouble as far as relationships are concerned, especially with the mother or feminine figures.
The mind is alert, clever, witty and restless. An active kind of person who enjoys debates. Activity is important, otherwise boredom causes the nerves to exasperate from agitation. Skillful in literature and/or mathematics. Comical and humorous nature, good dexterity and coordination, and tough mental capability. Reason working with action if harmonious; the warrior has a useful and valuable mind filled with tactics. Easily offended, more so if intelligence is tested or insulted. A biting tongue with snappy sarcasm, more dishonest, belligerent and untasteful if afflicted. With the square and opposition, the mind is animalistic and needs steadying, otherwise can aggravate the muscles and nerves as well as cause frustration with others.
The hardiness and vigor of mars united with the gentleness, sentiments and values of Venus; here lies the adventurous romantic. Much energy is put into creative interests and in surrounding themselves with beauty. Their principles and ideals are important to them, apt to fight for love or to passionately maintain peace. Makes for talents surrounding creativity such as singing, art, music and acting/theatre. Sensual and magnetic personality. If sexually inclined, sexual nature is ardent and the native appreciates both a loving and sexual relationship. Strongly concerned with money. If harmonious, tends to be sociable and friendly; the anima and animus are congruent. With the conjunction the two energies can be challenging to manage, there is fluctuation between the harshness of mars and softness of Venus. Androgynous characteristics are present due to the natural balancing of the powers of masculinity and femininity in the personality, more so if harmonious. If afflicted, such as with the square or opposition, sociable nature is troubled and romantic and/or social relationships with others proves to be difficult.
Sincere, straightforward, openly opinionated and holds deep-seated beliefs. Beliefs are usually spiritual, religious or political. Strong sense of justice, fights for it. The square or opposition can be so devoted to justice that they may foolhardily take it into their own hands. A friendly, generous, charitable, confident and approachable kind of person. The harmonious contacts prove to be natural teachers. Strong faith in inner truths and in others, but their greatest enemies can be idealism of the world and doubtfulness in themselves. Can over-exert themselves and get carried away in things they’re passionate about. If sexually inclined, appreciates a fleeting, sexual and adventurous kind of romance. With the square or oppositions and sometimes the conjunction, these people are apt to forcefully put their opinions on others. Arrogance in beliefs and unwise judgment with the harsh aspects. Can attack others for not believing in what they believe in, or hold bias more so if found in fixed signs. With any Jupiter aspect indulgence can become a problem.
If harmonious, the animal is tamed by the discipline of Saturn. If disharmonious, the warrior battles with authority. Control and structure are important to these people. Likely to follow and/or enforce the rules. With the conjunction, square and oppositions, Saturn restricts Mars and there is fear of asserting oneself, perhaps a fear of authority figures. Can be extremely self-willed and controlling towards others. Very enduring. With the sextile and trine, are more reliable, responsible and constructive with clear judgment and common sense; more willing to work hard for what they strongly desire. Puts much effort into controlling temper, so much that those with Mars/Saturn aspects can suffer internal and confined rage that has no proper outlet. If sexually inclined, the sexual nature is vigorous, concerned with dominating. With the hard contacts, there could be fear of sexual activity. Can be remarkably courageous, successful, ambitious and directing if fear of failure is defeated. Good for those pursuing business. Easily makes enemies, more so in the fixed signs or if Venus is weak in the chart. Soft contacts tend to be active and structured, while the hard contacts may experience lethargy and disorientation. With the square or opposition, impulse and action need controlling; there is struggle between mars who rushes head first and Saturn who demands caution and patience.
Erratic stamina, accident prone; can experience sudden physical injuries. If sexually inclined, there is an energetic, “strange" and unconventional sexual nature. Boredom irritates the nerves. Individualistic in nature, excellent problem solving skills and inspirational to others. The personality is magnetic, a sociable person. Apt to take up battles that aren’t theirs, to fight for humanity and the underdog. With the sextile or trine there is an exceptional ability to take immediate action and handle difficult ordeals in life. Independent nature from an early age with powerful intuitions. With any Uranus aspect, there is an inner genius if used properly. A Universal kind of person, can tolerate anything or anyone, excluding boredom. Puts energy into fighting for what is right, a talented debater. Can be good with technology and scientific matters. Soft contacts do not conform to rules unless the rules add up, hard aspects may recklessly rebel against rules with no cause. Violent temper, poor judgment, impatience, willfulness and recklessness need controlling when it comes to the conjunction, square or opposition. The hard aspects can experience challenging and sudden endings of important matters in the life, depending on the houses and signs involved.
With the hard contacts, the warrior is dissolved and the person is apt to not be a fighter. Resorts to passive aggression. With the sextile or trine, mars triumphs; cannot be fooled by deception especially of hidden enemies, has a compassionate and honest nature, a practical idealist and has the energy to go for their dreams. With the hard aspects, one is predisposed to be the victim, a complex to be a martyr or to be saved. With the soft aspects, is inclined to be the hero, a complex to save others. A good actor, charismatic personality and sensual nature. May put energies into artistic, spiritual, and creative endeavors. Intuitive, emotional, sensitive, psychic and empathetic spirit. If sexually inclined, seeks a deep, romantic and spiritual connection. Can have sexual fantasies and hold what are considered strange sexual interests, more so with the hard contacts. If afflicted, there are self-delusions and fantasies of winning, competing and being strong. Hard contacts can potentially become self-destructive, obsessive, confused and restless. The harsh aspects can be deceiving or easily deceived (or both) and need to learn to acquire a sense of responsibility, integrity and understand what it means to sacrifice. With any Neptune/mars contact, must be careful where addictions are concerned.
Knowledgeable of sexual matters from an early age and if sexually inclined, the sexual nature is formidably great and raw, sexual intimacy is preferred. Sexual nature can be suppressed out of fear with the square or opposition, but if not addressed can surface compulsively. Abundance of ambition and drive. The animal self is doubled and needs restraint and cultivating if afflicted. With the hard contacts, cruelty, ruthlessness, power-struggles and self-destruction need monitoring. With the trine or sextile there is self-confidence, healthy ambition, courage and dynamic energy put to good use. Mars/Pluto contacts makes for powerful emotions and an interest in the occult, taboos and spiritual matters. Psychic, dominating, magnetic, competitive, probing and charismatic presence and personality. Control and assertion of power are important to these people. Extremely private. Not one to trust or to be deceived easily. Physical activity is needed to manage the forces of mars and Pluto, more so with the opposition or square. Can be beneficially fearless and brave if buried rage and power-complex are managed. With the hard aspects, a fighting-for-survival mentality is present and there is a distrust of oneself and of masculinity that needs attending.
I remember a much simpler time in my life. When I had normal dreams. Dreams to become a doctor, teacher, chef. Now this, two years from graduation so sure of what I want to do. And somehow still paralyzed with fear.
An actress? Really? What a pathetic dream. Do you realize how hard it’s going to be? Make sure you have a backup. What else do you want to do? Don’t rely on that dream. Oh, honey, you’ll figure it out.
But mom, dad, teacher, great aunt Margaret, I have figured it out.
That’s what sucks about having this dream. I eat, sleep, and breath acting. And for some worldly reason, everyone is telling me to fall in love with something else, something normal. I hate it so much. I am ashamed of knowing what I want do. My classmates have no flipping idea and I’m the one being embarrassed?!
Theatre ruined my life. I could have been normal. Be stuck at some dead end desk job unhappy like the rest of our country. But that’s not an option for me. As an actress, the last thing I want is to be normal. Or unhappy.
Right now, it might seem like theater has ruined my life. The smirks on adults who think my dream is ridiculous. The disapproving glances from my older, more successful cousins. The worried look on my moms face. These are all things I will have to put up with for years to come. But theatre did not ruin my life. It saved me. Saved me from the fate most Americans will face. So thank you theatre.
To all those considering a career in acting, please make sure your decision is yours and yours only. It might be tempting to go into a career that’s more “practical”. But in the end, will you be happy? Your happiness is at stake here. So do what makes you happy not what’s practical. And never, ever think that theatre has ruined your life.
I love things being between. I love nothing being certain. It might be why I love water so much; how it’s never constant, always flowing. And why my favorite color is blue with other blues in it. It might be singing, dancing, and acting, and why I love theatre that integrates all three. I love stars because we don’t know much about them, and I love the ocean for the same reason. I love half finished drawings, because sometimes the potential is more beautiful than the outcome, and that’s kind of how I see myself.
Why finishing a musical/play is kind of heartbeaking
Troughout the rehearsal process its like your charachter is given to you as a baby, birthed from your audition, and midwived by a casting director and delivered to you on a cast list.from there you raise it, you read the script and get to know them, you memorize all their content and why they do what they do. Next you get to shape them and if you do a good job they quickly get bigger and bigger untill they’re big enough for the stage, big enough to envoke emotion and reaction from an audience. Then quick as a knife all your shows are are luved out and done, people congratulate you and you thank them, but somehow it doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t feel like it was you on stage, the person who t hey now complement, it was that charachter you raised and nourished and molded; that’s who should be receiving all this praise, but where are they? They’re inside, where they retreat to when you’re not rehearsing, when you’re only you. And when the show ends completely, when you’ve lived out your last performance you stand in the applause and the charachter retreats as it usually does and ots not untill the applause has subsided do you realize you will never see them again, you’ll never be on the same stage, with the same cast, costumes, or anything. Youll never be again that charachter in their world because it was you just as much as it wasn’t. And it slowly begins to feel like that part of you died. until someone sings a certain song, or says a certain line, and they bring back that part of you and you’re filled with nostalgia as you realize they aren’t gone, not really theyre inside and they always will be.