Productivity is the key component of adulthood. Utilizing evidence-based strategies for efficiency can engineer success. Middle management knows best.

               Unfortunately, I have yet to ascend the ladder of self-mastery. An unrelenting sense of powerlessness seems to get ahold at every critical juncture. Maybe it is problematic to use Erik Erikson’s psychosocial stages of development as one’s grading system. However, calls to dismantle the hierarchy are nothing more than a high functioning defense mechanism. Catatonia can be the both symptom and the cause.

               Sometimes I hesitate to describe this feeling in full detail. Cliché imaginary can be the least desirable. At that point, it would be easier for my depression to itemize my maladaptive behaviors.  According to a few, sensory sensation can create sublime storytelling. How should one capture a symbolic loss of autonomy at Stop & Shop? Maybe food wastage and bank overdrafts could deliver the message better.

               I had a friend in recovery who could relate to these feelings of inadequacy. That is until he discovered A Course in Miracles.

              A Course in Miracles suggests ego creates separation and that love is our most basic state. Now I can almost sense the 80s high school guidance counselor wearing pastels promoting peace. Maybe my visceral reaction is a sign for to do greater self-work. However, I lack the self-discipline for happiness.  

              When I was younger, I use to idolize of the principles of stoicism.  However, very quickly indifference descended into sardonic activity. Fortunately, in this modern world, history can be wiped clean with the click of a button.

              Often we hide from our unwanted selves. Distraction becomes escape. And obviously, the more we run, the more we have to run from.

               Acceptance might be the most terrifying reality.  

Every mind contains all minds, for every mind is One. It is only the thoughts you believe that causes you to see yourself as separate from others. Minds are joined bodies are not. Only by assigning to the mind the properties of the body does separation seem real. Whatever you accept into your mind has reality for you. It is your acceptance of it that makes it real.
—  A Course In Miracles