i don’t think some of you will ever truly understand the pain of not having clear skin. i can tell, because the comments some of you make on other people’s skin are so fucking hurtful and ignorant.
i’m not talking about the occasional mt. vesuvius on your face, or the barely visible little clogged pores surrounding your nose.
i am talking about at least 30% of the skin on your face being covered with a rash, acne, sores, scabs, etc.
it hurts to smile. it hurts to speak. it hurts to eat. it hurt to brush your teeth. it hurts to yawn. it hurts to have your face against a pillow. it hurts to shower. it hurts to cry. it hurts to kiss your lover. it hurts do ANYTHING involving your face. do you understand that?
and the shame? the horror and sinking feeling you get in your stomach when you look in the mirror?
the HOURS you spend in the bathroom staring at yourself, looking for any sign of improvement?
the money and time you throw away on products and treatments that you heard might work, because you’re desperate for anything to help?
the desire to wear a mask? to cover yourself in bandages?
the impulse to keep all the lights off in your house constantly so no one will look at you?
the fear of leaving the house and having everyone stare at your red, wounded face?
the look of confusion on your spouse’s face when you viciously snap at them “Don’t look at me!” in the middle of a normal conversation?
the embarrassment and self loathing and envy you feel seeing other people post beautiful glowing pictures of themselves with amazing complexions.
the toss up between covering it with makeup to make it less visible so you can bear to go out, or living with the full shame and leaving your skin naked in hopes it will heal faster?
i know i am not alone. i know there are others out there of all skin types struggling. you are not alone, either. i empathize with you, i’m here for you, i know it hurts in more ways than one and i promise you that whether or not your skin ever clears up, you are beautiful and should never hide yourself away.
please don’t deprive yourself of something, like i have, just because you’re too ashamed of your appearance. i know that won’t make the physical pain any less, but hopefully it will do something to ease your mind.
whether you have lupus & acne like me, dermatillomania, psoriasis, eczema, MRSA, dry skin, milia, etc. you are not alone, you are not ugly, you deserve love and affection and admiration like everyone else.