achilles way

Achilles was a hero
simply because
without the gentle hand
and golden smiles
of stolen kisses
and boyhood love
he would have been
a villain
—  he did not weep until the body went up in flames  (l.e.h)
2

books i read in 2016; march– the song of achilles by madeline miller

“When he died, all things soft and beautiful and bright would be buried with him.”

do u guys even realize how silena went into battle dressed as clarisse mimicked the way patroclus headed into war dressed as achilles and how clarisse went full on fight frenzy mirrored the way achilles exploded in all out killing rage when they found out about their loved one’s death

on why original Patrochilles is pure horror & depression

Consider the Iliad, I haven’t read TSOA.
In the Iliad, glory is the most important value ever, and the best way to gain it is killing other people.
Achilles loves violence because it leads him to glory. He doesn’t only fight because it’s the right thing to do, he fights because he wants glory, and stops fighting when it’s best for his honor.
Patroclus is a painfully compassionate human being, which leads him to hate violence. He chooses to fight Hector because he knows that it will stop the war, regardless if he wins or if he dies. He also probably knows he’ll die. I don’t think he actually hopes to meet Achilles again into the dark, since I have never heard of an ancient writer who thinks there’s happiness after death, or describes a love that goes on after death without the help of the gods - please tell me if otherwise.
Now let’s consider Pat’s final choice.

Patroclus chooses death instead of Achilles. He prefers being dead instead of seeing other people dying.
While Patroclus is still alive - while he begs Achilles to go and end the war - Achilles doesn’t want to see how sad Patroclus is about all this. How desperate he is. Because it’s easier for Achilles this way; Achilles is deeply selfish here. He even calls him out: “Why are you crying like a little girl?”
Patroclus understands this and it probably makes him even sadder. For ten years he has seen the man-he-loves-the-most doing the thing-he-hates-the-most. Every day. And he has seen how much Achilles is happy of that. It’s enough for Patroclus now.
Patroclus knows Achilles will suffer a lot for losing him, but he doesn’t care enough. I mean, he cares, but he prefers ending the war. He prefers leaving a world where people kill each other in exchange for glory; where love for other human beings comes after glory, where crying for the dead ones is a concern for little girls.

What do you think?

Modern TSOA Headcanons
  • After getting into a fight with his neighbor, Patroclus is sent to a boarding school.
  • This is where he first meets Achilles, the son of Headmaster Peleus
  • He doesn’t like Achilles at first. Patroclus thinks that he’s too in over his head.
  • He blames this on the fact that everybody constantly showers him in affection.
  • Everybody except this one teacher.
  • His name is Chiron, and he treats the students equally. That’s why Patroclus likes him.
  • Also he’s more of a hands-on teacher rather than a lecture one. Which is good, since Patroclus has a hard time paying attention to lectures.
  • His perspective on Achilles changes when he ditches History class one day
  • Achilles finds him lounging in the mess hall, munching on a fig
  • Much to Pat’s surprise, Achilles covers for him, and even shows him this neat trick which involves juggling figs.
  • From that point on, Achilles and Patroclus are officially bros™
  • Achilles requests his Dad to tweak Patroclus’ class schedule so that they share all their classes together
  • They totally go through a “bro™”stage
  • “Hey, Pat, do you think an undercut would suit me?”
  • “idk, bro, your hair is pretty cool when it’s long”
  • “hmmm alright, alright, thanks bro.”
  • “Anytime, bro.”
  • It takes some time for them to come to terms with their feelings and admit to themselves that they don’t want to be just bros.
  • Patroclus makes the first move.
  • They’re in Achilles’ room. It’s way past curfew and they’re watching Brokeback Mountain on Achilles’ laptop.
  • It’s in the heat of the moment, really. As Jack and Ennis kiss, Patroclus leans in and kisses Achilles too.
  • It takes about a five seconds for him to register what he just did and he quickly pulls away.
  • He expects Achilles to be disgusted, but he’s surprised when he realizes that Achilles is blushing.
  • Their relationship develops from there
  • It isn’t obvious at first, they still act normally.
  • Then as time goes by, they begin holding hands in public. Every now and then, Achilles throws his arm around Patroclus’ shoulders.
  • After a year, they disgust everybody with their constant displays of PDA
  • Peleus doesn’t really mind that Achilles is gay and in a relationship. As long as it doesn’t affect his grades, he’s chill with it
  • But Thetis
  • Oh boy, that’s another thing.
  • Thetis isn’t mad about the fact that Achilles is gay.
  • She hates the fact that he chose to go for Patroclus.
  • “He was sent here because of disciplinary issues! What if his rowdiness rubs off on you???”
  • “MOM his disciplinary record here is spotless ??”
  • They hang out a lot with the older kids
  • Even if some of them Agammemnon are douchebags
  • “Ughh if you two are gonna make out then go do it somewhere else! Some of us have a hard time eating lunch while watching you guys shove your tongues into each other’s throats!”
  • “Aw, come on, Agammemnon! Let the kids do what they want!
  • “Shut up, Odysseus! They’re almost as bad as you whenever you talk about Penelope!”
  • Achilles is in the track team and specializes in Javelin Throwing
  • Patroclus often helps out at the clinic
  • They have a rival school that’s just a couple of blocks away.
  • During one of the “friendly tournaments”, they meet a girl from that school called Briseis
  • She and Patroclus hit it off immediately
  • Achilles is highkey jealous
  • There’s this Student Athlete from that school that rivals Achilles’ track record
  • His name is Hector.
  • Achilles refuses to challenge him directly since he begrudgingly respects the guy and bc he knows that he could wipe the floor with hector’s ass anytime
  • But then, during another friendly tournament, Hector accidentally elbows Patroclus in the ribs because of the tightly-packed wave of students
  • “Oh my God, I am so sor-”
  • “YOU, ME, FIELD NOW.”
  • “acHILLES, PLEASE, IT DOESN’T EVEN HURT THAT BAD.”
  • Inevitably, Achilles beats Hector.

Just, an AU where everybody is alive and happy and nobody has to die pls 

UPDATE: I made some modern Briseis headcanons as a companion piece to this! Check them out here !

anonymous asked:

Hey!!!! Dumb question but what exactly is the Iliad?

THE ILIAD: A SUMMARY

The Short Version: A yarn about blokes getting shitmixed in a war over Miss Hellenic Beauty Champion because some gods thought it would be a Lol.

The Long Version: A Homeric epic poem passed down through spoken word over generations that was penned down in about 800 BC. In the mythological timeline, it ends the Age of Heroes (by wasting them all). It covers the Greek seige of Troy, a whole lotta gods Messing With Shit, a Poseidon who needs anger management, a few hundred names and lots of General Epicness ft Diomedes and Patroklus. Sit back my buddy, let’s go through a quick summary of the books.

Book 1: Apollo ghettoblasts the Greeks with Pain because Agamemescunt kidnapped his priestess Chryseis. Being a douchebag, Agadouchebag Mr Steals Yo Girl from Achilles, which leads to  in͟ten̛şȩ ͟śul͜ki͢n̶g͡ . Achilles’ divine Ma brokers a deal with the Zeus goose (not literally thank goodness, although it’s a definite possibility) so that the Greeks won’t win until they realize how fucked they are without Achilles and go crawling back to him for help.

Book 2: Zeus messes with Agafuckface by telling him to attack Troy. Agamemhoe messes with Zeus by telling his entire army to fuck off back to Greece. Odysseus, with Athena’s help, uses his wicked ol’ tongue to lick  Agaiceheart back into  shape (not literally, although very possible in Ancient Greece). There are 31 paragraphs of names about Greeks and 16 paragraphs of names about Trojans going to war. The epic story continues.

Book 3: The armies meet. Memealaus (sorry, Menelaus) and Paris decide to have a 1v1 to end this shindig. Paris is saved by Aphrodite and a cloud because he is a Weak Bitch, so we gear up for another 9 years and 11 months of war. Helen tells Aphrodite to go fuck Paris herself if she likes him so much, but Aphrodite threatens Godly Bitch Revenge is Helen ever talks back to her like that again.

Book 4: Menelaus gets grazed by an arrow. Like a football player with a stubbed toe, this means war. He also apparently had ‘shapely thighs and fair ankles’. Watch out for the Zeus eagle, boi. Fighting commences. Diomedes appears. He is awesome, as usual. We continue to the next chapter.

Book 5: Pretty much an entire chapter about Diomedes being a son of a gun and killing fucking everything thanks to Athena. A dude called Sthenelus gets a rock hard boner watching all of this. Aeneas thinks it’s a good idea to take on Diomedes. Mistake. Big Mama Aphrodite has to save him, also with a cloud. Diomedes hasn’t quite reached Critical Awesome yet, so he stabs Ares and Aphrodite as well. Hera calls Ares a little bitch and we carry on.

Book 6: Just a lot of death really. Diomedes was going to kill a bloke, but they realize they are family friends, so just do a little swapsie of armour. Hector gives Paris a spray for being a cowardly little bitch, Paris agrees, and they set off for battle.

Book 7: Hector decides to 1v1 and get this over with. Menelaus tries to accept, but his wingmen Restrain Him. Ajax gets picked out of a hat to fight, but after a bit of a tussle it gets dark, so the fighting pair give each other presents and go home for the night. The next day, they all take a holiday from fighting and the Greeks build a wall. Poseidon is triggered. (reason here.)

Book 8: Due to Poseidon being triggered, Zeus forbids any godly interference on both sides of the war. Hera and Poseidon bitch about Zeus as the Greeks get casually wreckt by the Trojans, but decide not to act on it. Lucky for the Greeks, the Trojans decide sleeping is better than winning, so leave off for the night.

Book 9: The Greeks hit Fuck It and decide to grovel to Achilles for help. Before they do, Diomedes gives Agasaggytitnon a spray for being a douchebag, and everyone agrees that he is indeed a douchebag. Sthenelus probably pops another boner. Back in the tent with the power pair, Achilles and Patroklus, Patroklus tries to be the polite bf to the pleading Greeks, but Achilles is still thinks Agamoomoo called him a ‘vile tramp’ so refuses to help. The drama continues.

Book 10: Odysseus and BAMF Diomedes go on a sneak mission and  heroically stab the Trojans in their sleep. They also heroically steal some horses. The epic heroism continues.

Book 11: Hector takes a leaf out of Diomedes’ book and decides to shitmix the Greeks. He successfully shitmixes the Greeks, giving Agamugface a well-deserved arm wound. Paris shoots Diomedes in the foot, but Diomedes literally does not give a shit. Some random dude gives Odysseus a bit of a stab, Ajax gets Confused By Zeus but survives, but things still look Grim. Sweetheart Patroklus sees the Grimness and decides to try and use his wiles to break Achilles out of his Uber Sulk.

Book 12: The Trojans continue to roadhaul the Greeks, which will come back to bite Hector, but we do meet a dude called Thootes. He doesn’t do shit, but his name is great. There is graphic violence, and the Trojans go to chuck a Greek ship on the barbie. 

Book 13: Poseidon rises from the sea, back being a buddy to the Greeks now the his great enemy The Triggering Greek Wall has been overcome.There is a shit ton of fighting wherein the Greeks do well and Poseidon is happy because he’s getting vengeance for his other traumatic wall experience.

Book 14: Hera sees Poseidon disobeying Zeus and getting sweet wall vengeance and while probably thinking she married the wrong brother, decides to use Titty Distraction so that the Greeks don’t get chucked on the Trojan barbie. Titty Distraction predictably works A+ and the Trojans get slightly shat on with gratuitous eyeball violence. Hector gets hit by a rock and almost has the most anticlimactic death since Amycus, who suffered death by Elbow Punch.

Book 15: Zeus wakes, calls Hera a scurvy knave and tells Poseidon to Fight Him. Poseidon does not want to Fight Him, so melts back into the ocean and stops helping the Greeks. Apollo resurrects Hector from his rock to the face and the Trojans joyously return to their mission to barbeque the Greek ships.

Book 16: Honeyboo Patroklus (still on his way to Achilles since Book 11) sees Apollo and his Brojans on the warpath and breaks Achilles’ heart with Man Tears. While Achilles and Patbroklus have a very, very long, heartfelt conversation, the Trojans start to toast the Greek ships. Achilles gives (yes gives) Patroklus his armour and tells him to fuck shit up, but not to win without him. Fighting commences, we discover the word hurly-burly, Sarpedon dies in a shower of Zeus-induced blood rain and Patroklus becomes Diomedes 2.0 until he is gang bashed by Hector, Apollo, a literal god, and some awkward random called Euphorbus. Sasstroklus delivers a final fuck you, pulls the finger at all three of his killers and blazes it down to Hades.

Book 17: Hector takes Achilles’ armour off Patroklus, marking him as target #1 for the Sulk King. The Trojans and the Greeks spend an entire chapter having a tug of war with Patroklus’ body. Ajax and Menelaus comment mildly on how Zeus is helping out the Trojans, and the god shines a bit of sunlight in chagrin for being called out. The Greeks win the tug of war thanks to Double Ajax Tactics.

Book 18: In which Achilles goes nuts. Everybody has a cry because Patroklus was a Swell Guy (seriously,as swell as a Hawaiian surf that guy). Achilles goes and therapy-screams at the Trojans, who see the mad bloke and back the fuck off -  rightfully so, as Achilles is planning some good old human sacrifice to his dead ‘rider’ Patroklus. Meanwhile, Hephaestus quick-smelts some smashing new armour for Achilles with his household robots.

Book 19: Achilles gets dolled up for battle. Agadickbutt and Odysseus try to placate the madman with gifts, including Briseis, the dame Agamemnope stole from Achilles, but Achilles’ quota of fucks has run out indefinitely. He saddles up and gets ready to fuck up his bae killer.

Book 20: Zeus R͡ELE҉ASE͜S̵ ͝T̀H͜E͡ ́ǴO̷D͞S͝ and lets them play for whichever team they like, so long as Achilles doesn’t sack Troy just quite yet. It’s probably a friendly game similar to football in god terms. Athena invents the spear boomerang, Hera and Poseidon do some casual sunbathing, while Achilles paints the town red rather literally. 

Book 21: Achilles finds men too weak and decides to take on a literal river (Scamander). Achilles realizes this was A̴ B̸ad ̶I͜de͟a͡ and decides he’ll stick to men. We’re not sure whether Diomedes would have backed off from a river, but I guess we’ll never know. Apollo saves a dude called Agenor from Achilles molestation and in doing so also saves the Brojans. The epic story continues.

Book 22: Apollo says surprise Achilles, tricked ya into chasing me boi, I’m immortal. Achilles stares him dead in the eye for a full minute then says ‘fuck you’ and rides off back to Troy. Hector decides it’s time for another 1v1, but at the last minute considers that this idea was insane and fuckin legs it. Achilles chases Hector around the wall of Troy three times presumably to this soundtrack. Hector finally stops to fight, and thanks to the Athena Spear Boomerangᵀᴹ, Achilles avenges his Patroklus. Hector performs the minor miracle of talking whilst having a spear sticking out of his throat before he dies, then Troy’s hero gets roadhauled and everyone is Sad. 

Book 23: Ghost Patroklus pays Achilles a visit, like a sexy Obi wan Kenobi and tells Achilles to bury him already. Patghostklus also beseeches that their bones be laid (ha) together when Achilles inevitably gets fucked on by Fate. Achilles says of course bby I was gonna do that anyway, and tries to make out with a ghost, but this isn’t a Whoopi Goldberg type deal, so Patroghost gets sent back down under. They put the fun in funeral by having games and giving out toasters and such as prizes.

Book 24 (The End): After ‘yearning after the might and manfulness of Patroklus’, Achilles continues to roadhaul Hector until Apollo gives his fam a spray about the dishonour of it. Hera says he’s only mortal scum so who gives a fuck and Zeus says chill wife and commands Achilles to RE̵L͘E̡A̷S͢E ̴T́HȨ H̀ȨC̕T̵O̷R͡ (sorry I can’t help it). With Hermes as a bodyguard, Priam (Hector’s dad) goes to get the body back. Achilles and Priam have a man-cry bonding moment over Dead Loved Ones, Hector is whisked off to be buried and there ends the Iliad! There’s none of the ankle-shooting, wooden-horse-building shenanigans in there, they all come in later texts such as the Aeneid and Ovid, although I still can’t find the exact text where Achilles gets shot. If y’all know, send me the link ;)  I fucking found it nvm

Anyhoo, that was…Jeez, that was The Iliad (aka the longest post in existence). Well, my retold, abridged more slightly less serious version.It’s definitely worth a read, if you can get past all the names!

Check out more Greek Stories here :D

tsoa/patrochilles modern/highschool headcanons

- Patroclus’ father abandoned him or he was taken away by social services because he was a shit father but it’s okay because Pat was adopted by Chiron so Chiron is effectively his dad

- Achilles lives with Peleus and Peleus and Chiron live next door to each other so Achilles and Patroclus grew up together

- Achilles and Patroclus would go round each other’s houses a lot and Thetis would be so :/// at that but Peleus and Chiron are totally cool with it

- Chiron can totally tell when Patroclus and Achilles started banging and he’s like “fINALLY” but Pat and Achilles still think it’s a secret lmao. He figured it out because what platonic teenage boys have sleepovers and sleep in the same bed and act so lovingly with each other (((and he can hear them)))

- Achilles is really loud in bed and Patroclus tries to shut him up because he’s worried his dad will hear (he totally does) but Achilles does this thing and Patroclus stops complaining and starts moaning himself

- Chiron and Peleus are cool dads and have BBQs together and for a while Patroclus and Achilles try to act platonic but they totally fail and Chiron just says to Peleus “it’s funny how they think we don’t know” and they’re like “hah hah hah”

- One day they’re sick of hiding so when Chiron, Peleus, Patroclus and Achilles are having a movie night Achilles puts his arm round Pat and Pat rests his head on Achilles’ shoulder and puts his hand on his thigh and Achilles rests his cheek agains the top of Pat’s head and Chiron and Peleus smile knowingly at each other and thAT’S HOW THEY COME OUT

- They’re sUper PDA at school

- Patroclus acts embarrased when Achilles kisses him in public but he LOVES it really

- Pat is always slightly surprised when Achilles kisses him in public but after being shocked and embarrassed for a second he smiles into the kiss and Achilles is grinning as he kisses him and im,,  

- Patroclus watches Achilles run track after school and he lazily sketches him

- All the girls are thirsty for Achilles but Achilles only cares about his bf

- Some of the girls resent Pat but then they realise how nice he is most of them don’t mind him so much

- Achilles, Patroclus and Briseis are such a sQUAD and Pat is like the glue that keeps them together

- A ton of the girls are really jealous of Briseis for being able to be close to Achilles but when it becomes obvious Achilles and Patroclus are together and they realise she’s more friends with Pat than Achilles it’s more chill and she becomes friends with a bunch of the girls on the side (Patroclus and Achilles are her main baes tho)

- Achilles and Patroclus are lab partners and Achilles is an asshole and Pat does most the work and Achilles tries to distract him during experiments by kissing his neck and shit and Pat is a mixture of annoyed and turned on

this could literally go on forever but it’s already too long so I shall stop

I can’t handle the ships that just obviously love each other so damn much. The ships where their entire world revolves around each other and they look at their lover with stars and galaxies in their eyes. The couples that can’t dream to be in a world without the other or the pairings that need each other to breathe. I can’t handle it when they practically radiate love and affection, and I my heart lurches when I see/read them doing anything that implies that they are nothing but the world to each other. The ships that are just the definition of unconditional love. I can’t handle the fact that if something goes wrong, both are hurt equally. I can’t stand it when the pain one feels is so strong or influential that both their world seems to fall apart. The ships that are one and the same, the ones that are one entity, encompassed by just how much they love each other. I can’t stand those kinds of ships because it’s just so beautiful and pure that reading/seeing so much love being shared between two people makes it feel like i’m looking at the sun and god, if one day I could achieve that for myself then wouldn’t that just be absolutely wonderful.

  • Odysseus: One tent’s enough, I hope? I’ve heard that you prefer to share. Rooms and bedrolls both, they say.
  • Patroclus: That’s disgusting. And wrong. I don’t even get– why would– I’ve never had sex with anyone, anywhere. It’s none of your- you have- the nerve, the audacity, Achilles is my boss, technically. And he is terrible, face-wise. And how- how- do I know, frankly, that you’re not sleeping with him? Maybe you are. Maybe you’re trying to throw me off? Hmm check and mate.
  • Odysseus: chill

Now that I know Haggar was a really intelligent and ambitious alchemist… I have questions about this:

Haggar is well versed in alchemy and quintessence. Her look of shock and dread that Allura was able to deflect her attacks.. and her cry of “Impossible!” … makes me wonder how the heck Allura has all these powers. Was she perhaps dipped in quintessence the way Achilles was dipped in River Styx? Or is this a natural ability? And even if it is a natural ability, what does Haggar know about it?

I need to know.

anonymous asked:

i noticed your tag, 'we always return to the past to rescue our humanity' and find it quite interesting. personally, humanity's distant past terrifies me. i remember visiting the ruins of the knossos palace in crete a few years ago and it was so scary.

Oh, why? It is based on my own experience, especially with literature. Personally, I find it beautiful how I still suffer because of the way Achilles reacted to Patroclus’ death even though I am not fond of him; how Shakespeare once rescued me; how I find joy in things that have existed for a long time, in languages that helped to give birth to other languages. How we still go back to the past to learn more about ourselves. How we still cling to it, to things that no longer exist - that are the rivers of our humanity (that never ceased to exist in that way). How we still go back to find little things that we once did and that we still do. How we tell stories (or stories about history) to reach out to other people. 

How I cling to what once happened (or words that other people wrote) to learn more about myself.