ach nein

Language Learner Problem #222 - The Curse of the Neverending Synonyms
  • First time shopping in Germany
  • Me: Thanks!
  • Cashier: Would you like your Quittung (receipt)?
  • Me: No thanks, have a nice day!
  • Second time shopping in Germany
  • Me: Thanks!
  • Different cashier: Would you like your Kassenbon (receipt)?
  • Me: thanks...?
  • Third time shopping in Germany
  • Me: Thanks!
  • Different cashier: Would you like your Beleg (receipt)?
  • Me: *dead*
Day 175: Rock Dove Love

Inspired by this amusing comic strip. When I saw it, I thought of Medic.

“Did you know humans are not the only creatures to find a single partner to love?”

Heavy didn’t look up from his workbench when he felt Medic’s hands alight on his shoulders, but he did stop his work and lean into those talented fingers as they gently massaged the tenseness that had built up there. Hours of bending over Sasha as he continued to maintain and refine her workings routinely left him sore and, after muttering about it last night, it was no surprise that the doctor stopped in on him today.

“Is true.” he replied after a minute. “Wolves and horses have their families.”

“Ach, nein.” Medic tutted behind him. “Not families, mein Heavy. Life mates. For example, the rock dove takes one mate for their entire lives.”

“Is that so?”

“They properly court their chosen partner, as well. Very civilized little creatures.” Medic’s hands continued their work, slipping up Heavy’s shoulders to start rubbing circles into the thick muscles of his neck. “More people should emulate them.”

Heavy couldn’t hold back his chuckle as he turned himself around on his stool. “Does Doctor court Heavy like one of his little birds?”

“I should think we were a little ways beyond that.”

The big man shrugged. “Heavy is romantic. Show me how the little birds court.”

Medic chuckled as he stepped back, flipping up the tails of his white coat as he gave Heavy a sweeping bow. “Well, first he will bow to properly introduce himself. After all, he is a gentleman.”

Heavy leaned back and watched Medic. He could easily the flapping of wings in the long tails of Medic’s coat, and the puffed out chest as he stood proudly before him. “And then?”

Stepping closer, Medic smiled. “Then he will call to his chosen. It is hard to say what he is saying. Perhaps he is serenading, or perhaps it is his way of whispering sweet things into his darling’s ear.”

A large arm reached out to pull Medic closer and wrap snuggly around his waist. Even seated on the stool, the two men were eye to eye

Medic leaned in, gently rubbing his cheek against Heavy’s before nipping at his jaw “Then he will nibble his beloved’s feathers.”

“Is that romantic?”

It was Medic’s turn to reach out, as one hand snaked around Heavy’s head. He let his fingertips brush against the skin of Heavy’s neck and smirked as a shiver ran down the man’s spine. “Touch is a very important part of the mating ritual.”

Large fingers pressed into Medic’s back

“And then the male will, er…”

He ran his hands over Medic’s hips and smiled. “Da? What will he do then?”

Medic paused for just a moment, and Heavy watched as his face grew red. “He, uh, will throw up in her mouth.”

Heavy’s laugh bellowed through the room. “Moy lyubov, you did not think fully.” He nuzzled Medic’s hair as he pressed the man’s face to his chest. “But is okay. We can do other things with our mouths that will be just as good.”

“It is loving gesture in the animal world.” Medic gave a weak shrug.

He was about to open his mouth again, but all that came out was a yelp of surprise as Heavy slipped off the stool and scooped him into his arms in one smooth motion.

“Courtship over, little Doktor bird.” He grinned down at the man in his arms. “Now, let Heavy show you how Russian bears keep their mates.”

Ein Schnitt, zwei, nein drei, ach was macht noch ein vierter und ein fünfter, sechster, siebter, achter, scheiß drauf ist doch egal wieviele noch dazu kommen, macht doch jetzt auch keinen Unterschied mehr.

Ich warte voller Ungeduld auf das Ende der Grundschulzeit meiner Kinder.

Nur noch 5,5 Jahre.

Und dann ist endlich die Zeit gekommen, wo das Ansehen des Kindes bei der Lehrerin nicht mehr davon abhängt, wie sich die Eltern in den Schulalltag einbringen, welche Bastelvormittage sie organisieren, welche Wandertage/Schulausflüge/Klassenfahrten sie begleiten und welche Lobeshymnen auf die Lehrerin sie an Elternabenden vor allen Eltern angestimmt haben und ob sie Elternvertreter/ Kassenwart waren.

Ich hasse Elternabende. Ich hasse es, nach so einer Veranstaltung mit schlechtem Gewissen nach Hause zu gehen.

Warum? Weil das Kind keine Mimi- und Bienchen-Stempel im Hausaufgabenheft hat. Aber die fleißigen, ordentlichen Kinder schon, die sich gegenseitig übertrumpfen, dass sie schon 12, 14, ach nein 16 hätten.

Weil das Kunstwerk des Kindes als ausbaufähig in der Ordentlichkeit und Exaktheit vorgeführt wurde. (Wurde den Kindern das als Kriterium genannt? Nein. Dass müssen die doch von alleine wissen, dass ein Bild ORDENTLICH auszusehen hat!)

Weil ich mich aufgrund meiner Arbeit nicht an Bastelvormittagen und Wandertagen beteiligen kann.

Weil ich nicht freudig aufschreie, wenn es um den Familien-Wandertag an einem Wochenende geht.

Weil mein Kind einen Fragebogen für ein ELTERNGESPRÄCH (mit Kind) ausfüllen soll, was es alles kann und dann damit beim ELTERNGESPRÄCH vorgeführt wird, weil es sich ja vollkommen falsch einschätzt. Den Fragebogen soll das Kind alleine ausfüllen!!! Es kann grade mal Sätze wie: “Ina und Mia malen ein Bild” lesen und erfassen. Beim Fragebogen steht dann da: “Ich habe immer alle Arbeitsmaterialien zur Hand” (was stellt sich ein Kind unter “zur Hand” vor?) und “ich schreibe Wörter lautgetreu auf” (was stellt sich das Kind denn da vor?) oder “ich bilde und löse Tauschaufgaben richtig” (natürlich wissen alle Kinder, was Tauschaufgaben sind, nicht?) oder “ich setze Zahlen richtig zueinander in Beziehung” (what?).

Ich weiß, warum das Kind kein Bienchen hat. Jetzt fällt es mir wie Schuppen von den Augen. Des Kindes Eltern haben leider das Kind vernachlässigt. Schande!

Day 248: Morning Dialog

Got back home a little later than planned (stupid Virginia traffic), so one more drabble day, then back to the gift fics tomorrow!



“It is morning, dorogaya moya.”


“It is time to wake up.”

“Hmmm… Nein.”

“Da. I am missing talking to you for two months.”

“It is six in the morning. Too early.”

“Doktor, pozhaluysta…”

“Come to bed, Schatz.”

“I am awake.”

“And why should I be made suffer that same cruel fate this early?”

“Doktor is being silly. But It is hard. It is late afternoon in Siberia right now.”

“And we are in New Mexico. Which is why you should be asleep. In bed. With me.”

“Am not tired.”


“Am sorry Doktor. Will come back later.”

“Ach, nein, nein. Come to bed. Give me an hour more, and then we will talk.”


“And after we talk, we will get breakfast…”


“Or dinner. And then I shall endeavor to keep you busy all day, so that you will not be waking me up at such an ungodly hour tomorrow.”