Autumn by Shehzaad Maroof

2011; a year of regrets.

the year started off with a boom thanks to the countdown celebrations with RCY peeps and tonning session with batchmates followed by VI Retreat. full days of partying and staying up late or having very little sleep with the people i love. (: however, the mood was quickly killed off thanks to school. 

MI -school didnt start off great - new class meant goodbye old classmates and hello new classmates. i didnt really blend in with them, as we are often in different wavelengths. kinda hard to tune into their channels, and i cannot be bothered for their interest do not interest me. that aside, studies were not looking good. i began questioning my reason to study in MI only in my second year and only after a few days school started. my only regret is that i dragged my decision and before i know it, i was taking my Promos and i have already paid for my A levels. what am i supposed to do but to go through with the entire ordeal? PW and H1 Maths, there i was - still uncertain at times, but i knew i had to go through with it. November came, and both subjects were over. i was glad to submit my green form to the school, and officially withdrew from MI with a satisfaction that PW was finally over for me. and next stop? we’ll just see. 

RCY - wow, where do i even begin with this? i’ve taken up quite a few roles in 2011, but well… let’s not go into details.

ARETE! was the PWO for this camp, and i guess.. to see NCOs or cadets for that matter, to see them grow is what i’m here as a VI. the pure reason why i join VIP 3 years ago. 

fast-forward to Oct/Nov period, UIP. before UIP even started, CT told me that i was a mentor, but i decided to give up due to certain reason.. and it’s kinda confidential. (: so with that, i was given the role as a head secretariat. i can say that it’s not an easy job at all! admin, logs, FnB - these are the things i have to handle and i have never done them before. it was truly eye-opening for me, and throughout this journey.. though i have to agree that i learnt a lot, but there’s still a lot more for me to learn. i guess, there’s always room for improvement and always room for growing. and i just hate the sight of…. (: when i see, it just irks me. seriously. 

RCYC DELTA 2011! :D ah yes, finally something that i really enjoy. not only mentoring.. but also with the division i dearly love and have been following up since 2007 (gosh, am i old!).. though we lost the maomao, but that’s not the key thing.. it’s the experience, bond and love that we shared together that made this camp so special. as i said in my earlier post, my only regret is that i was a horrible mentor this year as i was sick most of the time and couldnt follow my dearest kids almost everywhere ): 

thinking through this whole year, it looks like i have a lot of regrets.. perhaps through regrets, i can learn? hmmm, is there such thing in the first place…? i’ve been given positions such as mentor, head secretariat, and PWO. the are times of regrets, the actions that i’ve taken or the thoughts that i thought off but never dared to voiced it out. but there are also times of joy, actions that really made me happy with the decisions i made. however, more than often, my regrets seemed to be magnified 10times larger than what it really seems. way to demoralise myself, daniela! 

anyways, the cadets are always the one that keep reminding me why i even joined VIP in the first place 3 years ago. though the decision was made at that point of time, i’m glad that the cadets always keeps me reminded, keeps me rooted. it’s really all for the cadets, and the rewards are priceless. and for them, i’m willing to go the extra mile always though i’m tired. fight.ON|fight.STRONG (: and i’ll live up to what i believe in besides that sentence. (:

lastly, my dearest team5. thank you for everything. although we have to go our separate ways (OMG, feel so HSM singing the “Gotta Go My Own Way”), you will always be apart of me, and something just tells me that i’m not ready to go just yet but i must. thank you for being a home for me for the last year, being more than a team, being a home that i can run into for comfort and shelter. thank you.

working @ P.Osh Shop LLP - ah yes.. finally something to fill my long holidays till i begin my university journey in Aug2012. i just ended my training yesterday and it’s pretty fun though i’ve still got a lot to improve in terms of brownie decorating and customizing them! i think it’ll be truly an epic journey. the pay is not really as posh as the name, but that’s beside the point. it’s the working experience that i want, and not to mention the satisfaction to buy something that you need with your own hard self-earned money. but i have a feeling i will be quite stingy with my money. GOSH, too many things to buy already! ): and most are needs or wants becoming needs! ARGH.

HEALTH -been falling sick too often this entire year! when i’m sick, it’s either i’m sick for very long, or all the sickness come all at once. living example would be the recent RCYC when i had cough that led to a sore throat (i have no idea how is it connected), heat exhaustion which led to a fever, running nose and what else? and UIP - constant gastric. in MI? - constant gastric till i’m being sent to the hospital. GOOD JOB. one of my top New Year Resolution is to take good care of myself, definitely. 

well, to sum up my entire year in this post.. although i wished i could say a lot more and mentioned other things.. mere words couldnt describe the feelings i’ve been through or the experience i faced. so with that.. 

2011 is finally over. a chapter closed. a new year, a new chapter. not to forget, new new year’s resolution (: 2012, no more room for regrets.