Me, an asexual:
my sexuality makes me invisible. Watch this.
you know that's just metaphorical, right? You aren't actually-
*walks up to a store employee* I'm asexual.
haha no you're not. No one is asexual, that's not a thing. You can't live without sex, honey. You're just a late bloomer haha or maybe you're saving yourself for someone special. Or you're just so sad and pathetic that you can't find a boyfriend. Or are you gay? You're totally gay, just admit it. You ...
*steals a cake, three oranges, and a dozen candy bars under their nose while they continue to talk nonsense*