She’s so pathetic. Let me tell you something about Tori Mays. We were best friends in middle school. I know, right? It’s so embarrassing. I don’t even… Whatever. So then in eighth grade, I started reading the first Harry book which was totally gorgeous but then I finished the entire series, and Tori was like, weirdly jealous of me. Like, if I would blow her off to read, she’d be like, “Why don’t you let me borrow the books?” And I’d be like, “Why don’t you go to the library?” So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-Harry Potter fans party, I was like, “Tori, I can’t invite you, because I think you’re a slow reader.” I mean I couldn’t have a slow reader at my party. There were gonna be fans there talking about plot twists. I mean, right? She was a SLOW READER. So then her mom called my mom and started yelling at her, it was so retarded. And then she dropped out of school because no one would talk to her in Literature class, and she came back in the fall for high school, all of her binders were made out of books pages and she was totally weird, and now I guess she’s on crack.