accepted to hogwarts

Dear Blogger,

We are pleased to inform you that, once again, it is September the first. Unfortunately, that means that for yet another year, you not have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed our commiserations in the form of a signed note reading ‘sorry muggle’, and a picture of Peeves laughing at you.

Term begins today. Too bad you’re not going to be here.

Yours mockingly,

Albus Dumbledore

Eternal Troll

  • Ravenclaw: *running* Oh no, I'm late!
  • Gryffindor: The class has already ended.
  • Ravenclaw: So... am I really late for this class, or really early for the next one?
  • Gryffindor: What?
100 Harry Potter Prompts: Part 1

This list is #$@&%*! amazing, amigos! Thanks for all the submissions. Here is part 1:

  1. Parseltongues aren’t the only ones who can talk to certain animals; There are a number of hereditary abilities that allow wizards to understand and communicate with other species. You are a young wizard who can understand birds, and it is driving you CRAZY.
  2. 10 years later, on the day of the battle of Hogwarts. George is standing in front of the mirror, looking himself in the eyes, wishing that his reflection was someone else.
  3. Harry Potter prompt: The Basilisk from the Chamber of Secrets is back! …but now it’s the size of a thread snake.
  4. A muggle angered by the fact that there are only 10 dragons in this world and 7 of them are European, sets off to find more dragons.
  5. Your entire family is full of Hufflepuffs, so during your sorting you begged the Sorting Hat to place you there. Now you’re older and definitely a Slytherin and you need to hide it.
  6. Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes has an adult section in the back.
  7. after Ron picks up the wrong hairs for a polyjuice potion Hermione is making, the two find themselves in each other’s bodies.
  8. You are the new heir of Slytherin, capable of opening the Chamber of Secrets and talking to snakes. On your first visit you find the monster dead. Not that you care, you never hated muggles anyway. Instead you start giving guided tours, charging a couple of Sickles for each tour, trying your best not to make the teachers notice.
  9. You’re a muggle born sorted into Slytherin of all places. The other students warn you that the Bloody Baron hates muggles, but to your surprise, the ghost has somewhat of a different view on muggleborns like you…
  10. Harry DOES get sorted into Slytherin when he asks not to be and becomes best friends with Draco as well.
  11. No one knew Voldemort was the last line of defence against them. Now he’s gone, and they are coming.
  12. Many years after the Dark Lord Voldemort was killed, a new dark lord has come. He’s part of the ministry and the new candidate for minister of magic..
  13. When Harry Potter dies in his first year at Hogwarts, Hermoine Granger takes on the duty of defeating the dark lord and succeeds in her task in the second year. The wizarding world is safe once again. Describe how she managed this.
  14. Write about Hermiones struggles and success as Minister of Magic.
  15. The dementors may suck the souls out of their victims with their kiss, but what happens to the soul after that?
  16. As a young gifted wizard, Sirius Black once found the Mirror of Erised; but what did he see as he glanced upon its glass?
  17. Hagrid comes every year to celebrate Harry’s birthday
  18. Harry never got a letter. He goes through his day to day life as a muggle, never noticing obnoxiously weird things around him. Write a day in the life of harry the muggle
  19. You’re invited to Tom riddle’s 6th birthday party
  20. Magical patronuses are extremely rare. It’s said that only the pure or the purely evil can conjure them. You’re a Slytherin trying to prove what they say about Slytherins is wrong. In Defence against dark arts, you just found out your patronus is a Hungarian horntail.
  21. “Don’t worry, Potter,” said the Dark Lord, “killing will get easier. And as my right hand man, you’ll need to get used to it.”
  22. Au where Snape is the chosen one and Harry is the Potions master
  23. In second year, Draco writes in the diary of Tom Riddle instead, and gets some pretty sound advice.
  24. “You went to school for seven years and THIS is what you use your skills on? Just- Just tell us why THIS branch of Animagi…?”
  25. Harry’s a girl, and has to deal with all the Voldemort shit when she has cramps so she’s extra pissed off.
  26. The Nimbus 3000 just came out, you are one galleon short but you desperately want it, how will you get your hands on the new broom?
  27. You somehow stumble into Filch’s office and grab the nearest artifact before you escape.
  28. Both Harry and Neville are the ‘chosen ones’. Only together are they able to defeat the Dark Lord. Unfortunately, everyone thinks only Harry is the ‘chosen one’. Follow Neville and co. as they discover the truth.
  29. Divination has a new muggle-born teacher, who seems more intent on teaching useful life lessons than magic.
  30. “You’re a wizard, Hermione.”
  31. “How many times have I told you to leave your dragons in Romania?!”
  32. “You’re a wizard, Harry.” “No shit!”
  33. All the Harry Potter character have switch roles, so that the heroes are now the villains. Who’s who and what happens?
  34. Mcgonagall, after noticing Harry’s letter is being ignored, goes to the Dursleys to check on the young wizard.
  35. Harry wonders what the fuck kinda school this is when Dumbledore says “ The third floor corridor is out of bounds for anyone that doesn’t want to die a most painful death.”
  36. Hermione Granger is one of those kids who is in classes meant for those a few years older than her, she is a genius.
  37. You are a muggle, yet direct magic doesn’t affect you, you wander into Hogwarts, you are not harmed by the shriek of mandrake plants, a basilisk cannot petrify you, magical devices break at your touch. you are a magic null.
  38. You thought you’d made a simple mistake in potions. As you sit outside the headmaster’s office, straining to hear the grave conversation from behind the door, it dawns on you that your error couldn’t have been as simple as it seemed.
  39. Harry goes on a journey of self-love by hiking around an Arby’s parking lot at 2am.
  40. The series is entirely the same but Voldemort and Snape have swapped noses .
  41. A day in the life of Dobby.
  42. Lucius is sacrificed by Voldemort and dies in the Wizarding War leaving pregnant Narcissa disillusioned and scared. She seeks help from Dumbledore and becomes a double agent.
  43. “Hmm, courage… yes… plenty of intelligence too! Very loyal… but crafty… hmm. Tricky, very tricky. I’m sorry, but you don’t seem to belong in any specific house. Better be… HOGWARTS!!!”
  44. Harry and Ron/Hermione and Ginny become the canon ships.
  45. Hermione and Ron visit America for a family vacation. Write about their adventures.
  46. Sassy harry calling Snape and Dumbledore out on their bullshit   24/7.
  47. Ravenclaws have a chamber of secrets, but it’s just a library of infinite knowledge too nerdy to touch.
  48. Post-apocalyptic Draco and Harry, where Draco needs the help of Harry in order for both of them to survive.
  49. You thought you were a muggle-born witch/wizard and then you find one of your long before ancestors in the portraits of the school’s corridors.
  50. You can do magic without a wand. You are the second most wanted after Voldemort.
  51. Disco balls and disco and lgbt folks at Hogwarts
  52. A student is accepted into Hogwarts only to find out it was a mistake and they don’t actually have any magical abilities. Tell their story of trying to make it through Hogwarts after all these years.
  53. Remus Lupin adopts Harry.  He never lived with the Dursleys. Tell us his happy Wizarding Childhood.
  54. You’re a historian writing a critical paper on The Battle Of Hogwarts. You believe the existing discourse has ignored the significance of one woman: Mrs Norris. Write a paper discussing her much-maligned role in the Battle of Hogwarts.
  55. A story about the lonely, never-useful life of Snape’s shampoo bottle.
  56. Rumour has it the new Defense against the Dark Arts teacher has already arrived and is hiding. Whoever finds them gets 500 points for their house.
  57. write the wizarding sex ed pamphlet that gets handed out to fifth years.
  58. everything’s the same except every character is a lizard.
  59. Describe the three trials in the next Triwizard Tournament.
  60. “Nobody knew about the fifth Hogwarts founder, and the secret they hid in the castle… until now”
  61. Minerva McGonagall is quite puzzled by Dumbledore’s recent hires for Defense Against the Dark Arts, and would like to have a serious talk with him about it.
  62. You decide to try flying on a broom just for shits and giggles. It works, and now you need help. A lot of help.
  63. The previous magical protection of the prime minister has been retired. You have taken their place.
  64. The Wizarding World decided it’s time to explore space.
  65. Doleres Umbridge is now the head teacher of Hogwarts and president Snow form panel is the minister for magic. They have reinvented the triwizard tournament to have aspects of the hunger games. Tell the story of this year’s tributes.
  66. “When I wished to be part of the world of Harry Potter, I was hoping for an acceptance letter to Hogwarts, not for the bridge I was crossing to be demolished by death eaters on my way home from work!”
  67. You are a squib from a long line of witches and wizards who has never made any contact with the Muggle world. Today is your first day of high school.
  68. Hermione blinked. “You’re right, Ron. I’ve been doing it wrong all this time.”
  69. Through a series of events, you land yourself in the world of Harry Potter. The catch? You’ve never read a word from the books and have absolutely no clue what’s going on.
  70. The entire series but everyone is emo as hell.
  71. You are Harry Potter’s less famous twin sibling. All you want is a quiet wizarding school life.
  72. Write the science behind magic.
  73. You are in the infamous library where no books have titles. Somehow, you pick up Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone. You want to help in any way you can.
  74. “The wand chooses the wizard” except this time three have chosen the same master. And they’re attempting to duel each other.
  75. Re-write one of the quidditch chapters from the perspective of the snitch.
  76. Harry being raised by Sirius and Remus because they actually caught Wormtail
  77. Dumbledore reads My Immortal and thinks it’s really good.
  78. “The Death Eaters stole this from the Muggles. What is it, Hermione?” “Ron, I…I think it’s a Nuke.”  "WICKED! Dad’s gonna love this!“
  79. Draco and Ron get in a wizard’s fight; Harry has to reveal his love for Draco by protecting him.
  80. While looking through Filch’s files of rescinded objects, you find something extremely dangerous. Just as you put it in your pocket for later investigation, you get caught by Peeves the poltergeist.
  81. A deaf Ravenclaw, a disabled Slytherin, a mute Gryffindor, and a black trans Hufflepuff help together to cope with each other’s’ problems.
  82. You’ve just received a Howler in front of the whole school. What does it say and how does the school react?
  83. A very derpy Dementor who doesn’t even try and suck souls, but just wants to be friends with everyone and gets sad easily so everyone has to cheer it up.
  84. As it turns out, Neville is the strongest wizard of all.
  85. Write a love story about Dumbledore and Grindelwald.
  86. Your boggart and your reflection in the Mirror of Erised show the same thing.
  87. Who maintains the enchanted ceiling at Hogwarts? How did they get the job and what’s their life like?
  88. Finally, Hogwarts gets its Wi-Fi hotspot.
  89. After a traumatising first year at Hogwarts, Ginny Weasley has to learn to deal with the long-term psychological effects of having been possessed by a dark wizard.
  90. Someone didn’t focus enough when trying to apparate somewhere and somehow wound up on Mars.
  91. You show someone the Mirror of Erised for the first time. You ask what they see, and they just look at you strangely. “What? Did you forget how mirrors work? I just see us.”
  92. A story written from the perspective of a student who died in the battle of Hogwarts, and is now a ghost there.
  93. Hogwarts wants to open a school in another part of the world.
  94. It’s been a hundred years, or so, and you’re still stuck in this dusty, shabby place. As a wand, it would be nice if you could finally choose the perfect wizard to wield you.
  95. You hide pictures of Voldemort in most  unusual places to freak other students out
  96. AU where all spells are imaginary. They’re basically running around with sticks yelling nonsense.
  97. The DA learned their most important lesson from Hermione - always bring a gun to a wand fight.
  98. Write about the day the magical world discovered internet (and proceeded to make their own WizNet)
  99. Harry Potter where Harry’s dad survived but is left emotionally destroyed by Voldemort’s attack.
  100. Harry Potter lowers his wand at himself. He swore he would rid the world of Horcruxes. He was about to make good on that promise.

 Let’s make a new list right away. Do you have a prompt for us?

Dear Mr. Potter,

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment. 

Term begins on 1 September. We await your owl by no later than 31 July.Yours sincerely,

Minerva McGonagall

3

Dear Mr. Potter,
We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.
Term begins on 1 September. We await your owl by no later than 31 July.
Yours sincerely,
Minerva McGonagall
Deputy Headmistress

imagine this:

a nonbinary hogwarts student is female presenting and doesn’t necessarily mind being housed with other girls. but it becomes increasingly apparent that because of this reason a lot of people call them by the wrong pronouns and also don’t use the gender neutral name they chose for themselves because they are living with girls and are therefore assumed to be one.

said student gets upset enough that they approach dumbledore with this issue because they know that themselves and other trans kids have trouble with the binary dorms, and they want to create a middle ground because people who don’t identify with the binary shouldn’t be forced to choose a side. albus dumbledore just nods his head and says that something will be done about it.

they wait for a couple weeks feeling like their request will never be acted upon until one day they walk into the common room and there’s a new staircase that students are all crowded around, wondering why it’s there. it seems that there were a few unlucky folks who tried climbing up and were sent right back down.

the small brass plate next to the staircase says:

‘for those who shouldn’t have to choose’

Ravenclaw Headcanon

Ravenclaws know where all the trick stairs are, they automatically skip them. But if they start to think about where the trick stairs are, Ravenclaws will step into every single one of them.

Night Vale Hogwarts AU
  • Cecil is the Slytherin prefect and quiditch commentator who’s so kind and goes so far out of his way to be friendly that no one can quite understand how he’s not a Hufflepuff. 
  • At least, until they see what he did to his dorm-mates who were harassing muggleborns. It wasn’t pretty.
  • There’s a group of first and second years who can be found following Cecil around and always seem to get into accidents. Again, no one is quite sure if he encourages this, or if he simply can’t stop them and is a bit careless about practicing dangerous spells when the kids are around.
  • Carlos is a muggleborn slowly learning to accept the impossibilities of Hogwarts and stop bringing the geiger counter to breakfast already. His fellow Ravenclaws are all for scientific curiosity, but they’re trying to eat their cereal, dammit.
  • Carlos plays keeper, and is actually pretty good. Or at least he would be, if Cecil didn’t keep putting him off by commenting on his perfect hair or beautiful saves. It takes a year of this very public, very one sided flirting, before they go on a date to Hogsmeade.
  • They never actually make it as far as Hogsmeade. There’s this whole thing with the giant squid and… well, it’s not ideal, but Carlos kisses Cecil after he pulls him from the water, and his hair is even more perfect when it’s wet if that’s possible, so it’s all okay.
  • Old Woman Josie (that’s Professor Ortiz to you) is the housemistress of Gryffindor, but she has a soft spot for Cecil. Meaning he only gets away with half his bullshit.
  • Cecil has a black cat that everyone loves. It’s often found wandering the castle to be petted or sprawled across Carlos’ table in the library when he’s trying to work. Josie is the only one who knows that the cat is actually Cecil’s animagus form. And she will never tell him that she knows
  • Tamika Flynn is a second year Gryffindor who seemingly never leaves the library, despite her utter loathing of Madame Prince. (It’s mutual, trust me.) Everyone is sure she should be in Ravenclaw until they see her take down the troll that broke into the castle one halloween. 
  • She and Cecil have a sort of grudging mutual respect after this. House rivalries are too strong for anything else but… well, if death eaters ever came calling, they’d have each others backs.
  • Carlos still wants to be an ordinary muggle scientist. Cecil just can’t understand why, when there’s a whole magical world at his fingertips. Carlos isn’t sure he understands himself.
  • Cecil gets his first tattoo on his sixteenth birthday, in an old shop on Knockturn alley that don’t care how old he is. It’s an eye that starts on the back of his hand, but seems to move around his body of it’s own free will. Carlos is sure the damn thing is always winking at him. He totally loves it.

Night Vale Hogwarts AU 1/?

trans draco approaches a unicorn

DRACO : I don’t want to go the lesson, I heard there will be unicorns.

HARRY : Love, it’ll be ok. You might be surprised.

*at the lesson*

PROFESSOR : Malfoy, join the girls.

DRACO : But Professor…

HARRY : Draco, you don’t have to go up there.

PROFESSOR : Now Malfoy!

*Draco slowly approaches the unicorn, and eyes grow big as it backs away*

DRACO : *sniffling and smiling* HARRY IT DOESN’T LIKE ME! I REALLY AM A BOY!

HARRY : I told you Draco. Now, let’s go talk to Dumbledore about switching your dorms. 

(( A/N I love trans!draco, he’s adorable. and this is just fluff and i love it mmk bye))

The interesting thing about the Hogwarts Houses personality theory, from where I’m standing, is that it seems to be based on motivation, rather than what’s strictly considered by the academic world to be personality traits. (It’s interesting because motivation is considered fairly changeable by personality researchers, while traits are more fundamental/biologically based and hard to change. Makes Dumbledore’s I sometimes think we sort too soon that more plausible. And painful.)

Anyway, let me give this a go:

Gryffindors are motivated by what they believe is Right. They’ve got a very clear idea of justice, of the way things should be, and if that isn’t the case they are willing to fight for it. Gryffindors have principles. They will go to war over the things they believe in. But this also means they might just as well become fundamentalists. As someone put it, a gryffindor will happily fuck you up if they believe they’re doing the Right Thing.

Huffepuffs are motivated by loyalty. They put personal relationships above abstract ideas. Huffelpuffs will follow you into battle not because they believe in what you’re saying, but because they are your friend. On the other hand, this may also lead to a my master right or wrong kind of situations, where they stop thinking about moral principles and just trust the person they’ve chosen as a friend. 

Ravenclaws are motivated by rationality. They value cold logic and hard facts, and are unlikely to be swept along by passionate speeches or emotional pleas. They’re the type to consider the benefits and disadvantages for all when making decisions. Again, this can be potentially scary, because -for example- Ravenclaws would kill you without any hesitation if they believed it could prevent the death of others.

And finally, Slytherins are motivated by self-interest and ambition. They’re moral relativists, who don’t believe in the great Right or Wrong (the way Gryffindors very strongly do) and wouldn’t hesitate to do things others would consider morally wrong as long as it’s in their advantage. Sounds evil, but it isn’t necessarily so: it means just as much that a Slytherin can be charming and loyal - being hated and despised isn’t exactly a good thing, is it? It all depends on what kind of ambitions they have - and how smart they are, of course.

Seen like that, Ravenclaws and Slytherin are quite close to each other, both being cold rationalists, with the difference that Ravenclaws think firstly of the good of all, while Slytherins think firstly of the good for themselves. And Hufflepuff and Gryffindor are quite close too, both led by their emotions, but while Gryffindors are loyal to ideas of right and wrong, Hufflepuffs pledge their allegiance to people they believe to be worth following.

Put shortly: Gryffindor: belief in ideas; Hufflepuffs: belief in people; Ravenclaw: belief in rationality; Slytherin: belief in themselves.

things I want in 2017:
  • self esteem
  • motivation
  • excitement for my future
  • equality and freedom 
  • hopes and dreams
  • baby animals
  • emotional stability
  • less sad tears and more happy ones
  • compliments
  • more courage 
  • more hugs and love
  • sleep 
  • concert and plane tickets
  • random acts of kindness
  • social skills
  • more positivity 
  • more racial diversity in media
  • attention 
  • ten cats
  • my hogwarts acceptance letter
  • fifty million dollars
  • motivation
  • actually useful hobbies
  • a healthier body
  • twenty dogs
Slytherin and Hufflepuff

I think one of the reasons why Slytherins like Hufflepuffs so much is because they seem to see straight through prejudices and stereotypes, especially the negative ones. I’d like to think that Hufflepuffs are the kind of people who would accept the flaws of others and help them to be better people regardless of what they’ve done. As a Slytherin sometimes I feel like a bad person or damaged goods or whatever and it’s really nice when there are Hufflepuff types around you who bring the light back to your dark world. When someone accepts you for who you are good and bad it really makes you strive to be more good than bad. Slytherins (if they’re anything like me) just want to be understood and seen for all they are and accepted for just being themselves. Sometimes Hufflepuffs accept Slytherins even more than Slytherins accept Slytherins.

I don’t know if this even makes sense but oh well.

Recent Revisions to Acceptance Letters

JD-

Dear Mr/Ms. Bla Bla Bla,

    We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. We promise you it’s a real thing. Don’t try Googling it, nothing will come up. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment. We do still use books, but they are magic books so we hope that helps.

     Term begins on 1 September. We await your owl by no later than 31 July, or confirm via email at [redacted]@Hogwarts.wzn.

P.S. Please don’t brag about it on Facebook. We are still very much on the down low. Any attempts to snapchat this letter will cause it to burst into flames.