1984 is an overrated book and george orwell is a hack
Trump Presidency, Day 3:
Openly declaring objective truths that we can see with our own eyes to be invalid and 'dishonest', 'alternative facts', already went after a twitter account for sharing pictures of the inauguration that did not comply with the bullshit they made up.
The party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command… and if all others accepted the lie, which the party imposed, if all records told the same tale, then the lie passed into history and became truth.
Like a whole bunch of other people, I saw @charminglyantiquated ’s Elsewhere University Comic and got SUPER INSPIRED. And since she’s so generously encouraging other people to play in her sandbox, I present ‘Feathers’. EDIT : PART 2 HERE
You go to Elsewhere University. You’ve been going to Elsewhere University for (years and years and years and years) for three years now. You know how things are. You’re not an RA, but… Mm, you could have been.
Might still be. Aren’t yet.
This is your junior year (you think). You know how things are. You carry salt in one pocket, iron in another, trinkets to bargain away in your book bag, offerings in your purse, pearls around your neck.
Summary: Your boyfriend is an abusive asshole and you’ve been trying to hide it from Lin and everyone else. After turning up to the Richard Rogers where you work with a black eye and bruised wrists you tell Pippa that you’ve been mugged, but you get the feeling that Lin seems to know what really happened. Lin gets over-protective and you end up feeling really confused. On a night out with with the girls you drunkenly admit to Pippa that you think Lin is cute, and Jasmine records a video messaged standing up to your unknown attacker.
(I’m an abuse survivor myself. Not all abuse is the same, and so this fic is not meant to be a universal experience.
To anyone that may be experiencing abuse then my inbox is always open and I will always believe you. Tell a friend or a relative if you are able to. And there are many support lines depending on your town/state/country, talking to someone helps. Stay safe.)
Warnings - I’m adding a trigger warning for some mentions of emotional and physical abuse.
Word count - 2226
When you turn your phone on that morning it practically explodes in a flurry of messages.
Jasmine: Hey girl, I heard you called in sick today. Are you still really hungover?
Pippa: Are you ok? I heard you’re sick. Don’t worry, nobody has mentioned the video. Hope you feel better soon xxx
Lin: Apparently you aren’t coming in today so I don’t get to see you? AWFUL! Feel better, we all miss you. I hope you’re ok X
Lin: Dr Miranda prescribes hot sweet tea, a blanket fort, and The Little Mermaid. Take care of yourself please xxx
Lin: If you need anything let me know. I’m gonna be near your apartment today and I can bring round supplies.
Lin: Hey I’m on your block, do you need anything?
Lin: Are you ok? I don’t think you’re ok.
You throw your phone down on the bed. It’s the first time you’ve switched it on in 48 hours since you called Alex and told him you weren’t well enough to come to work. You’re honestly amazed that you still have friends with how anti-social you are being at the moment, but you haven’t been able to face anyone.
You’re surprised that none of Lin’s messages comment on the video Jasmine put on twitter a few nights ago. A video of you drunkenly admitting he was cute, but you’re thankful that he’s choosing to ignore that. Or maybe he never even saw the full video since Pippa took it down straight away.
You head into the theater that morning, grateful that the bruising on your face from last week is now fading. You draw less attention as you walk down the halls now. Lying about a fake mugging had made you feel so uneasy and you were relieved that you could make it to the office you shared with Alex without having to stop and talk about it.
“Hey Y/N , we didn’t expect to see you today!” Alex called cheerfully as you headed into the office. Lin was sitting on the beat up sofa, his laptop in front of him. He jumped up from the sofa, seeming surprised by your presence.
“You’re alive!” He grinned coming over to meet you. He hesitated for second, and there was a moment of awkwardness before he smiled and pulled you into a hug. “We missed you” He said, giving you a squeeze and you held your breath.
“Yeah, I can see!” You said dumping your bag down on the desk and eyeing the pile of paperwork awaiting your attention. “Aww Alex, you shouldn’t have!”
“Oops, yeah sorry about that.” Alex said as he quickly cleared another pile of papers from your chair for you to sit on. “We’ve got 8 new chorus members starting rehearsals on Monday and so the paperwork is sorta piling up.”
“Nah it’s fine” You shrugged, “I’m honestly just so happy to be back, I was getting cabin fever cooped up at home, it was driving me crazy.”
“Oh so that’s why you were ignoring my messages then?” Lin teased.
“Oh, god I’m sorry, I had my phone switched off, I was too sick to focus on a screen.” You were so used to lying now, you were surprised at how naturally it came to you.
“I dropped round a couple of times to see you. Mark said you didn’t want any visitors but I thought I’d keep trying.” Lin’s eyes darkened slightly and he looked at you as though he was trying to figure something out.
“Oh sorry, um yeah, I guess I must have been really out of it. I’m sorry” You once again found yourself unable to make eye contact with him as you deflected his concern. “You didn’t miss much much tho, just a sweatier sicklier me drowning in a sea of tissues and cough syrup, you dodged a bullet there.” You grinned weakly.
Lin’s eyes softened as he accepted your lie and he clapped his hands, snapping you out of the awkwardness.
“Well! Since you’ve been ignoring me, Me and Lac have been hatching a plan for Ham 4 Ham today. You in?”
Alex chuckled to himself “Don’t say yes to anything until he’s told you his plans.” He gathered his folders from his desk and headed out, leaving you alone with an over excited Lin.
“Ignore him.” Lin grinned, “You’re gonna love this. Or maybe you’ll hate this, I don’t know.”
You rolled your eyes and prepared for the worst. Your afternoons were often filled with vetting Lin’s ideas for new Ham4Ham shows. Some of which were brilliant, some of which were not, and thankfully between you and Alex, you could try and steer Lin in the right direction.
“Ok, so how well do you know Backstreet Boys?”
You laughed so hard you actually snorted. You held your hand up to your mouth, still laughing. “I’m sorry, that was NOT what I was expecting you to say at all”
Lin raised his eyebrows in mock indignation. “ I would NEVER joke about the Backstreet Boys” he exclaimed.
Lin went on to explain his idea for staging a performance of Backstreet’s Back complete with choreography for this afternoon’s Ham4Ham.
“Look, if you need me to show you the moves then all you had to do is ask” you laughed
“Ha! You know I love the fact that you spent all of senior year practicing Janet Jackson’s Rhythm Nation in your bedroom, I’m not doubting your skills, but we had a run through yesterday and I think we’re gonna be ok.” He chided while biting his lip.
The fact that he’d remembered your high school Janet Jackson obsession made you beam. It was something you’d geekily admitted on your very first day in rehearsals with him. Why? Because being around Lin brought out embarrassing admissions of your geeky obsessions, and he never mocked. His eyes had grown big and his face lit up in excitement and and he’d waved his arms in the air exclaiming “Me too!”. And from that moment onwards you knew you were in the right place. The fact that he’d remembered this little detail strangely gave you butterflies and you smiled to yourself.
You held your hands up “Ok ok, so you don’t need my dancing skills then.”
“No but we do need some accompaniment” Lin smiled.
“Fine!” You said, secretly happy to have something more fun to work on than the piles of paperwork Alex had left for you.
“I’ll get the melodica, hey give me a hand will you?”
You gestured up to a crate on the top of the bookshelves in your office marked ‘Ham4Ham gear.’ The crate was full of toy musical instruments, a set of megaphones, props, and some bits of costumes. It had become more of a lost and found box of novelty items which Lin and Alex added to weekly, as each Ham4Ham got more adventurous and silly.
You pulled over a chair to stand on which wobbled. Lin grabbed the chair to hold it in place as you climbed up.
The chair immediately swayed and Lin put his other hand out holding your waist to stop you falling off. You gasped, not expecting his hands, you flinched slightly and wondered if Lin had noticed.
“Yeah,thanks. Sorry this chair is a piece of shit” you laughed nervously. You noticed his hand remained on your waist. Your skin tingled and you swallowed nervously.
You stretched out your arm trying to grab the crate which was just out of reach when Lin yelled “Fuck!”.
Lin’s hands had disappeared from your waist and you looked down at him, his eyes were wild, and he stepped back from the chair. He was staring at you. Staring at your waist. You looked down and noticed your shirt had ridden up above your stomach as you’d reached up. You quickly pulled down your shirt and stepped down from the chair. It was too late. He’d seen it.
“Fuck!” Lin said, this time in a whisper.
You looked at the floor. You couldn’t look at him. No, no, no. Not now.
“Show me.” Lin said, breathlessly. He was still staring at your waist.
“Lin, please, I can’t.” You shook your head in a panic.
He looked up at you, his eyebrows furrowed and his mouth tensed. “Show me” He commanded.
You gulped, it’s like you had forgotten how to breathe. His eyes never left yours and there was nothing left for you to do but show him.
Slowly you reached down, grabbing the corner of your shirt, nervously pulling it up to reveal your stomach and looking away. Lin gasped, closing his eyes and shaking his head.
Your stomach was blue and purple. An enormous bruise covered your belly, your waist and stretched round to your back. The bruise on your face from the previous week had faded, this was brand new, shiny, and dark.
You forced yourself to look at Lin who was still studying your skin in shock, you felt naked and exposed and you pulled your shirt down. Lin still stared at your waist through your clothes, unable to look away. Wispy strands of hair had fallen loose from his pontytail and hung in his eyes, you noticed his arms were locked by his side, his hands gripped tightly into fists.
“It wasn’t a mugging was it?” He said quietly
You shook your head, tears in your eyes and you tried to hold yourself together. You’d been trying not to fall apart all week, but you could feel yourself on the verge of unravelling.
“Who did this?” Lin asked, his mouth open in shock, his eyes set in anger, He already knew.
“I can’t.. Please I can’t do this now.”
“Who did this?” He asked again, his face darkened like thunder.
You couldn’t speak. You could barely breathe. You reached out to hold the chair to steady yourself.
“It was Mark wasn’t it?” Lin’s voice cracked.
You swallowed hard and closed your eyes. You nodded your head and a tear slipped down your cheek.
“Fuck.” Lin whispered.
“Lin I’m sorry, I couldn’t.. I didn’t know how to tell anyone. I’m sorry…”
Lin cut you off, he started shaking his head, pushing back his hair into his messy ponytail with both hands. His eyes were wild and he began muttering under his breath, violently spitting out a rapid mixture of English and Spanish, the hatred and anger flashing across his face.
“Fuck. Fucking motherfucker! No I’m gonna kill him…Hijo de puta…Mark es un maldito cabron…I fucking knew it!…Voy a matarlo… Hijo de la gran puta… Es una mierda!”
“Lin, please!” You begged, biting back tears and trying not to lose it.
Your voice brought him back and he stopped to look at you. He saw the panic in your face and the tears you’d tried so hard to keep in now falling freely down your cheeks and he took a breath.
“I’m sorry” He said shaking his head, his eyes softened realizing how scared you looked. “I’m sorry.”
He wrapped his arms around you, placing his hand gently on the back of your head and you finally allowed yourself to fall apart. Your face pressed into his shoulder and you sobbed, and you felt like you wouldn’t stop. He stroked your hair, holding you together.
“It’s ok, it’s ok, que sepas que estoy aquí “ he said in a soft soothing voice. It was a while before you could breathe. You steadied yourself and pulled away, embarrassed by the damp patch you’d left on his hoodie. You reached out for the chair to sit down while Lin grabbed you a box of tissues from the desk.
“You knew didn’t you?” You asked after a deep breath.
Lin puffed his cheeks and sighed while shaking his head.
“I don’t know… I thought I knew. I mean, I didn’t want to believe it. I just knew something was wrong. I knew there was more to the mugging but I didn’t know what, and I couldn’t quite shake the feeling that something wasn’t right.”
“He told me nobody would believe me if I tried to tell anyone what he’d done. He said I deserved it. He said…” Your voice broke, you weren’t ready to go into detail yet.
Lin knelt down in front of you, placing one hand over yours, and tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ears as he spoke.
“You did not deserve this. I believe you.” He spoke slowly and gently. There was still a rage behind his eyes, but his voice was calm and soothing. You stared blankly at him. You didn’t have words. You smiled faintly and nodded.
“All this because of that stupid video” You muttered.
Lin looked at you puzzled.
“Jasmine uploaded this dumb video of us from the other night. We were drunk. In the video she basically recorded this big fuck you message to whoever attacked me. Mark said we were laughing at him, that we humiliated him and…”
You trailed off, leaving out the part where Mark had also seen you drunkenly admit on camera that you thought Lin was cute. How he’d called you a slut and a whore that evening, how he’d told you this was your punishment.
Lin begain muttering under his breath in Spanish again “…Hijo de puta” His face hardened and he shook his head, clutching your hand tighter.
“You did not deserve this.” He repeated, his voice firm and his eyes darkened.
You nodded silently and he gently traced small circles with his thumb across your hands.
You sniffed and wiped your eyes, breathing deep and trying to focus.
“Alex is gonna be back soon, I’ve got to get it together.”
You stood up and flattened down your hair. You needed to slip back into the role of someone who has their shit together. Even if it was just for a day.
“Y/N I don’t think you should be at work, this is too much.”
“No this is exactly what I need right now, I need to keep busy, I need to work, I need to not think about this for a day.”
Lin sighed, scraping back more strands of hair from his face. “Ok. But we haven’t finished talking about this yet, and you aren’t going home tonight.”
Panic flashed in your eyes. “If I don’t go home tonight he’ll know something is wrong. He’ll kill me! I think he’ll actually kill me.” Your voice sounded small, you barely recognized yourself.
“No.” He said with a resigned look in his eyes. “You’re coming home with me tonight. You are safe. He’s not coming near you again. I promise.”
Part 4 is coming soonhere! and then I’m gonna write some smut, I swear!
I got reported on facebook for saying that we should stop condoning people being fat. I’m so tired of seeing this bullshit. But Tumblr is even worse. Tumblr has this special breed of snowflakes that are under the assumption that because their feelings get hurt that people have to accept them. Uh no. We don’t. And just because someone disagrees with you does not mean that they think you aren’t worthy as a person so knock that bullshit off. This “Healthy at Any Size” movement is all lies. Here’s some weird things that these people seem to miss.
It’s something like less than 2% of people are overweight because of a medical condition.
Medication can totally make you gain more weight, but it doesn’t make you obese or larger. If you gain some weight because of medication and are suddenly obese then guess what? You were already close to being obese!
There are some people who are just bigger but this big boned thing isn’t real! You may have a bigger frame but it doesn’t make you overweight! It can add a couple of extra pounds to what your average would be but it does not add these 30 plus lbs that people are trying to claim it does.
You just simply are not healthy at any size big or small. Your body needs fat to get through just day to day stuff and having a low fat count can actually really mess with your body. And being obese or bigger is hard on just about every part of your body.
And guess what? Not everyone has to be attracted to you! People can find being fat disgusting just like they can find being too skinny disgusting. Stop trying to make being unhealthy something that is okay! It’s 100% not okay.
My first submission for Ash’s 2k Challenge :D for the threesome prompt. SO sorry it was late and I hope it was worth the wait!
Synopsis: Negan always had a talent for reading people. All it took was seeing you look at one of his strongest lieutenants to get the wheels turning in his head.
Contains: threesome smut, fingering, cunnilingus, blowjob, penetration, language
All it took was a look. One simple look. You had allowed your eyes to linger on her pretty features and athletic curves a second too long. It was all he needed to see to get the wheels turning in his head.
You remember that day well. You remember the mischievous smile that curled his lips when he followed your gaze to Arat. You should have known right then and there, your dear husband was plotting something. Negan always did have a remarkable talent for reading people. He could pick up on the most subtle of twitches in the features and be able to interpret their meaning. He could learn a person’s weaknesses, fears, aspirations and desires simply by speaking to them for a brief time. His keen hazel eyes flickering over their every move, analyzing their body language in order to serve his own needs. In your spare time, you’d often wonder what his occupation was before the world went under with the walking dead.
It wasn’t long after that, you noticed Negan had Arat coming by the wive’s quarters more and more for seemingly unimportant tasks. More often than not, the pair had simply shot the breeze in his study, sipping whiskey and engaging in some witty banter. They would usually ask you to join them, much to your delight and embarrassment. When it was just the three of you, you learned Arat was a significantly different woman. In front of the other Saviors, she was fierce, tough and formidable. Determined and hardworking. Around the other men, she remained serious and stone faced, never once even cracking a smile. But when there was no one around, Arat proved to be a rather charming woman with an enticingly smug air about her. Truly, she was everything you aspired to be. You both admired and envied her for that. And though she was not one of Negan’s wives, it was no surprise that the Savior leader had proposed to her before. Many times. But Arat seemed to enjoy serving Negan in other, more useful ways. Being one of his top lieutenants certainly had it’s fair share of perks after all.
Before the dead started walking, there were times when you fantasized about being with another women. Several occasions where you touched yourself to the mere thought and there were more than a few that had caught your eye. Unfortunately, besides a couple of raunchy drunken make out sessions with other equally curious friends in club bathrooms, you never got the opportunity to fully explore. And it wasn’t as though you weren’t currently surrounded by the other beautiful wives, some who perhaps shared in your desires as well. But Arat was different. And maybe it was because she was different, that drew you to her.
Request: College klance where Keith is like bullied or something in some way gets incredibly hurt and acts like nothing is wrong but it keeps getting worse and worse and Well my boy lance is super worried
Summary: Keith keeps getting hurt. And every time he does he insists the same thing: ‘I’m fine.’ ‘It’s nothing I swear, Lance.’ ‘I can handle this myself.’ But how many times is Lance supposed to accept the lie? Brush off his worries and patch up Keith’s wounds? How many times does he have left before Keith gets so hurt he can never stand back up again?
P.S. I finally discovered how to make words italic after two goddamn years on this website.
The first time, Lance let it drop. Chose to believe Keith’s words and bury his worry, whittle away the time until Keith was willing to talk. He wasn’t badly injured. Lance was safe to wait a while.
‘Hey, Keith? That you, babe? I thought you were gonna be back an hour..-‘ Lance paused, head hanging around the doorframe, eyes popped and mouth drawn wide. ‘-…ago..’
Keith was limping. One foot steady, the other hobbled, he inched his way through the door with a face like thunder and a greeting to match.
‘Don’t ask, not talking,’
‘..Okay,’ Lance sung, spinning his heels to follow Keith’s figure as it passed towards the bathroom. Lance’s eyebrows raised in question as he noticed the backpack usually slung haphazard across Keith’s back, now clutched tight to his chest, protected. ‘Well.. when you get done with whatever emo shit you’re doing in there, I’m ordering pizza,’
Keith’s voice clamoured around the clang of the door in the frame. ‘Not hungry - order without me,’
‘What?! Keith - you’ve been looking forwards to pizza night all week!’
‘Have not.. Still not talking, Lance,’
‘You said - and I quote - ‘I would die before I miss pizza night, these midterms are kicking my ass, and I need the cheesy sustenance to live’,’
A grinding crash echoed from the closed bathroom door, eliciting a yelp from Lance’s lips. Twisting the knob, he pushed into the room, eyes scanning the entrance in search of the source, and found to his horror, Keith splayed out on the floor in a pile of books, muddied beyond all saving or repair.
Summary: New babies mean late nights, not that Dan isn’t used to it. (Or really sappy Parent Phan.)
Warning: Disgustingly fluffy. (Other than that nothing at all.)
Word Count: 663
A/N: With all of the domestic crap that has been going on lately I’ve felt really sappy and I wanted to write some domestic parent phan. Please don’t hate me lol. I know it sucks, but that’s fine. Enjoy!
We all do it. Some of us more than others. We talk about the girl next door or the new guy that just started working here. We talk about how the Brown’s just split up and “Did you hear why they separated?” Did you know that when we talk about people it shows an insecurity or jealousy in us? Boom. Where are you lacking in your life that you feel the need to cut down someone else’s life? Have a think about that for a moment.
There’s no point or purpose to this. Who are you lying to and why? It doesn’t even make any sense to do this and I still don’t understand why so many people still lie. You think the truth hurts, check out a lie. Nothing hurts more than that.
3) Worrying about things that haven’t happened yet.
Let me repeat that if I may. Things that haven’t happened yet. Why would you waste your time and energy worrying about something that hasn’t even happened? I know a lot of us play out a situation in our head and our first instinct is to be play it out with a bad ending. Why do we do that? I’ve done this one myself once or twice. Worry is a natural emotion/feeling. It’s up to you to control it and stop it in its tracks before it spirals out of control. That’s when the stress kicks in and our blood pressure rises. No need for all this now, is there?
4) Holding a grudge.
There’s an old saying “holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die”. Think about that for a sec. The poison you are drinking is the grudge. You are swallowing every drop and you are mad and pissed off to a point of no return. Expecting the other person to die? Honestly they could care less what you think. Hell they probably aren’t even thinking about you anyway. So why on earth are you wasting your time and energy grudging on someone? Go pick some flowers and bring them to a nursing home. Really. Spend time doing happy things. Not brewing and stewing over silly things.
The girls in the magazine are beautiful. Sally has a beautiful body. Jimmy has a nice car. The Whites just bought a brand new house. With every turn, someone somewhere has something better or nicer than we do. Our first reaction is jealousy. There is no need to be jealous really. We all have something special, unique and beautiful inside of us. We also all have something that someone else wishes they had. Just be grateful for who you are and what you have. You are perfect and blessed exactly the way you are. Embrace it.
6) You’ve already lived the past.
Oh how we love to hang on to what happened 5, 10 or even 25 years ago. We still go on and on about it to whoever will listen. Why shouldn’t we? Who we are today is because of what happened to us yesterday. Well, yes, you’re right. Sort of. Who we are today is the result of the way we chose to handle the past. We didn’t all have silver spoons in our mouths. Some of us were dealt really shitty hands. It is what it is. Be done with it. No one wants to hear it, really. Just tell us something happy and joyful. That’s all we want to hear now.
7) I don’t love me.
Watch how you talk to yourself. You are listening. Make sure your self-talk is loving, kind, compassionate, gentle, caring and supportive. Talking bad about yourself to yourself is probably the worst thing you can do. Treat yourself in a totally loving and positive manner. When you do this, you will be able to see how awesome you are and how much more awesome you will become.
8) Woe is me.
Always the victim never the victor. Sad things keep happening to you and you can’t wait to tell the next person you see. The more you talk about it, the more depressed you get and the more terrible things keep happening to you. You think your life is bad? Go hang out in a city where they just had a devastating earthquake or tsunami. Stop whining. We’re getting sick of listening to it and there will come a point where no one will want to be around you. How lonely will that be?
9) Negative Nancy.
We are really truly sad for you and wish, just once, you could see something in a positive light. Not everything is bad. Honest. Try to find the good in things and when you do you will see that more good things will show up in your life. It’s a universal law. It has to be. You are sucking the life out of us and we don’t want to hang around you anymore.
This list covers many things that we all do almost on a daily basis. Next time you catch yourself doing any of these, stop it. Immediately. Turn it around and tell yourself that your soul is beautiful and deserves only loving, kind and caring thoughts. Once you get into this habit, in no time you will see that these behaviours will become a thing of the past and your soul will illuminate beauty.
Controlled - Chapter 1 - Bien Joué! (Volpina Ending Different)
“Pound it!” the duo cried as they fist-bumped.
“Listen Volpina,” Ladybug said immediately, kneeling beside Lila. “I’m really sorry about what I did before,”
She gave her the the necklace which Lila snatched and got to her feet, an angry glare on her face. She hissed at the super heroine, her pistachio eyes glowing with hatred.
“You’re right Ladybug. We’ll never be friends.” Lila said, pushing her hand away and getting to her feet.
“Fine! Be that way!” Ladybug snapped. “I’m trying to be nice to you and this is how you treat me, huh?"
Lila was a bit surprised that the hero would act this way, so was ChatNoir, but she regained her angry mood and stormed away, cradling the fox necklace. ChatNoir was about to say something but he could tell Ladybug was too angry for any advice.
"But…Ladybug…wasn’t that a bit-” Chat began, reaching out cautiously.
“Ugh! Just leave me alone Chat! We have to check on Adrien!” Ladybug cried angrily. “Why are you
Before saying anymore, she flung herself over the city with Chat grabbing the Eiffel Tower railing in worry.
"Ladybug…is something wrong?”
“On her period?” Adrien asked, as the two boys walked along the path to school.
“Well, this ‘mystery girl’,” Nino said, fingers in the air as quotes, “Is angry at YOU of all the people, then she’s obviously on her period.”
Adrien was way too embarrassed to ask what a period even was, but realised it had something to do with changing into an adult. He decided to keep it to himself and not to push the question even further and looked back at Nino.
“Hey Marinette, Hey Alya!” Nino called, waving at both of them.
“Hey!” Alya called, dragging Marinette with her arm.
Marinette looked disgusted and rolled her eyes.
“Hey guys.” Marinette said, not interested, putting on a forced smile.
Nino sensed something was wrong and immediately pulled Alya to him.
“What’s up with her?” Nino asked.
“She’s been acting Chloé all day today!” Alya called. “It’s kind of strange actually, she’s acting all passive!"
"Hmm…” Nino whispered sadly. “It’s obvious there’s something going on, she isn’t even stuttering around Adrien!”
They dropped the conversation and headed back to class when they heard the bell ring. Adrien and Nino went on ahead and Alya and Marinette slow down.
“Hey girl, guess what? A new Adrien model magazine came out!” Alya said, pulling out her phone.
If there was anything that would make Marinette happy, it would be a picture of Adrien in a model pose.
“Pfft, whatever.” Marinette scowled, giving Alya the cold shoulder.
“Marinette…are you okay, I mean, if there’s anything wron-”
“Just shut up okay?” Marinette snapped back. “Ugh, you’re worse than Chloé!”
Alya was deeply hurt and knew Marinette didn’t usually act like this. She took a deep breath. On her period. Probably on her period, I’ll give her some time, she’ll be fit as a fiddle once again.
“Mari…are you on your-”
“Don’t touch me!” Marinette grimaced, her teeth gritting.
Alya swallowed, trying to process what was happening. She was like a different person, the real, bubbly young girl was gone. She licked her now dry lips. She’ll be fine. She’ll be fine.
It was a 5 minutes before class when the roar of fighting occurred. Alya and Marinette entered the room, to see Adrien and Nino sitting where they usually do.
It was first Marinette with a jab at Lila, her voice full of hate and disgust. Lila by now was feeling horrible about what she said to Ladybug, and was planning to say sorry for her arrogance, but Marinette’s jab really hurt. She just wanted to be accepted, nothing more.
“Hey Lie-La? Have you brought any new lies lately? What is it today? Did you inherit millions? Become president of Paris?” Marinette taunted.
Lila turned around in shock, her eyes full of hurt. The entire class were surprised at what was developing, especially since the jab of pain and hurt was coming from Marinette. Marinette folded her arms grinning, her eyes gleaming maliciously. Lila tried to look away but looked around to the class, throwing her arms out.
“What? No, I-I’m trying to turn a new leaf too!” Lila said, a small smile appearing on her lips. “I was just trying to be accepted by all-”
“Ha! You think people will listen to your stupid lies?” Marinette chuckled. “The lies are still coming out of your mouth still, I see!”
Adrien’s green eyes widened. He never talked to Marinette frequently, but she was never like this. What was happening had nothing to do with her period. This was who she was. Who she really was. Was she really this mean to everyone? So full of hatred and mean?
“Look, I’m sorry-” Lila said desperately, starting to feel helpless.
“How funny is that?” Marinette said, her evil grin widening. “You’re putting the damsel in distress act now! No wonder you’re so pathetic!”
Lila fell down to her knees, placing hands on her face, the tears streaming down her face and reaching her knees. She may have been mean and full of lies, but she was a sensitive girl, who hated making enemies of any kind.
“Stop.” Kim and Juleka said coldly, as they appeared in front of Lila. “What is wrong with you Marinette? Being mean to Lila like that?”
“Yeh!” Rose cried in great shock. “She was trying to turn over a new leaf as well!”
“Why are you being such a Chloé all of a sudden?” Alix said, disgusted.
“Someone needed to expose the girl!” Marinette said sassily, placing a hand on her hip.
“But she apologized!” Alya pointed out with anger screaming on her face.
“Not you too!” Marinette cackled at the sight of Alya defending Lila. “I thought you were a friend! Guess not!”
Alya’s mind flashed back to the time Marinette gave her a sweet macaroon and her bright smile and flashing blue eyes. It was like the sweet girl was slowly being taken over by something else…something much more powerful.
“Marinette, whatever is happening to you, stop!” Adrien snapped angrily, causing Alya to forget the flashback. “Stop acting like an idiot.”
Marinette was taken back by the fact her crush stood up against her. Adrien was never one who became angry, no matter what the reason. But what hurt her the most was the fact her called her an idiot and yelled at her.
“Pfft, only because YOU said so.” Marinette said in annoyance, which surprised Adrien even more.
Why did she just listen to him and not the others?
She quickly walked out of the room. Stopping at Nino calling out to her.
“Where are you going? We have class in about 2 minutes!” Nino cried.
“Where do you think?” Marinette grinned. “Ditching school doesn’t sound too bad, right?”
Nobody answered when the door slammed shut hard with a thunk, making all the students wonder, 'What happened to Marinette?’
Everyone in the class immediately burst into questions.
“Ditching school? Is she insane!?” Alix cried in surprise. “I mean, I’ve done some crazy stuff before but that is just crazy!”
Even the quiet Juleka broke the silence.
“This isn’t like her,” Juleka said sadly. “I’ve known Marinette for a long time, even before I met Rose and the others, and she has changed…I wonder what happened.”
“Maybe it was just me, but weren’t her eyes a bit duller and more purple than usual?” Adrien pointed out, incredibly concerned.
The only ones quiet were Chloé and Alya. Chloé was so shocked that anybody could act so in spite that it just surprised her and made her feel sick. Alya was just feeling horrible inside after all the hate that Marinette had in her voice.
Lila felt as if she wanted to die. She just felt as if Marinette was a horrible person all in all and didn’t want anything to do with the raven-haired girl.
One thing was sure though.
She was not on her period.
The whole incident was partly Tikki’s fault. Tikki has been starting to change as well. Her calming eyes going purple and her bright sweet red and black going to a purple black and red.
“They deserved it Marinette, don’t worry!” Tikki said reassuringly.
“But Adrien was looking so angry at me,” Marinette said, a little worried. “His face was so…scary.”
“Adrien still has feelings for you, he’s just hiding it, trust me, they all deserved it!” Tikki grinned.
“What about ditching school? Isn’t that a bit over the top?” Marinette said uneasily.
“Oh come off your high horse and get to real life,” Tikki snorted. “Who needs school? You’re a superhero! You deserve waay more credit than all the praise the people give you!”
“Yeah, you have a point Tikki, Marinette agreed. "These Parisians are extremely egoistic!”
“Come on Marinette, let’s go to the bakery!” Tikki said. “I want some cookies!”
“Sure, why not? Being Lady Luck, the possibilities are limitless!” Marinette said, throwing her hands in the air. “Tikki, transform me!”
The kwami got sucked into her earrings, transforming her into Ladybug.
But she wasn’t Ladybug.
Her suit wasn’t red. It was a glowing purple and her eyes tinted purple along with her usual blue. As if the blue and purple were fighting against each other for dominance.
Could you do the RFA (plus Saeran if your willing to) of an SO/MC with insomnia but like they stay up for days and sometimes just pass out from sleep deprivation instead of just staying up really late? I haven't seen anyone do it like that and that what I suffer with but sorry if it's uncomfortable or you won't write it I understand (ps sorry for the bad English it's not my first language)
uncomfortable there don’t worry ~
I went with hcs
again and I guess it’s kinda linked to the s/o with nightmares I wrote
before (Saeran’s got a bit angsty lol sorry, he’s easy to write angst
he’s had times
where he had to put all nighters until morning because of an essay to
write or a test to study for but it was occasional and he would
always get his sleep back the next day but his s/o’s situation is different and that would worry him; knowing it wasn’t occasional
but rather a common occurrence.
He’d do what he can
to get them to sleep at the same time as him (read : initiating cuddle
session) but he wouldn’t know what to do if they really didn’t want
to lie down and try to let sleep overcome them.
The first time they
pass out, he uses everything he knows from his classes – sure,
animals and humans aren’t the same but it’s better than not do
anything – but he would be so scared even though he was expecting
this to happen with the lack of sleep they were suffering from.
No way he’s letting
them go another day without sleeping again, he doesn’t ever want to
see them faint once more – he’ll guilt trip them into staying in
bed until they get at least an hour of sleep, if it’s what it takes.
insistent on getting his beauty sleep and would try to get his s/o to
sleep with him too but if they really couldn’t sleep, he’d always
ask if they want to ‘tire themselves out’ by partaking in some 'nightly
activities’ and he wouldn’t stop until they were too exhausted to
do anything – that or ask them if they want to exercise (the normal
type of exercise) together before bed.
When they faint for
the first time, it’s probably when he’s at work so when he comes home
to them lying unconscious on the floor, he’s terrified. He’ll try to
be calm but he would immediately call for an ambulance and would
constantly ask questions as to what happened and if they were
He asks the doctors
what they should do to get some sleep or get rid of their insomnia;
but from now, he asks they send him a text every one or two hours to
make sure they haven’t passed out – and exercise (the naughty or
the normal kind) is not an option before going to bed.
She knows what
it’s like but because of the amount of caffeine she always has in
her body + the years of resistance against sleep deprivation she’s endured
by working for Jumin, she hasn’t really experienced passing out from
lack of sleep, even though she’s been close to it more than once.
However, she’d be very concerned for her s/o, especially if the
reason they couldn’t sleep was because of insomnia and not because
they 'had to’ stay awake.
She would make them coffee but eventually, when it was
time to sleep, she wouldn’t accept their refusal to lie in bed and
try to sleep. She’d be very motherly and firm about it – she might
even lecture her s/o – because ’how can you even expect to sleep if
you don’t try to’.
When they faint,
mom-mode goes to extreme level and she will tie them to the bed (not
in a kinky way geez) until they finally get some sleep – she
immediately thinks of the worst situations and locations where they
could pass out and it scares her; in the middle of the road, in the
subway, in the shower, while cooking…
I mean, assuming he already made his s/o go see every single professionals there are before hand and it
didn’t work – which would be very upsetting to Jumin, he’d be
willing to bring them to the other side of the world if he heard of a
miraculous remedy to their problem – he wouldn’t let them get out of
the bed just because they couldn’t sleep – and he certainly won’t
allow them to not go to bed
= which would lead to a very long and
scientific explanation on the effects of not sleeping, the
consequences on their body, head and health, and all that. (so s/o
will probably just lie down in bed, at least to make him shut up)
Like Zen, he’s more
than willing to indulge in some intimate activities but he would also
suggest more relaxing stuff like drinking a glass of wine (if they
drank alcohol) or cuddling Elizabeth since her purring is a calming
sound to him.
When they faint for
the first time, he’s also probably not there – however,
the body guards at his penthouse check on them quite often and they
would have to take care of Jumin’s s/o. At his request, they would
bring them to the best hospital around while he left the meeting he
was in to see them. He’d pretend he’s alright but
it’s obvious that he’s very distraught and worried for them and their
health; he promises both himself and his s/o that he would do anything
to make sure this doesn’t happen again – and he always stays true
to his words.
He goes through
the same thing more or less everyday and he also does have a habit of
passing out from exhaustion but that doesn’t mean it’s okay for his
s/o to do the same. Which will lead to an agreement between him and
his s/o : 'I’ll try to sleep everyday if you do too’.
707 doesn’t care
about his own health but he will try to make an effort for his s/o’s
sake and that will end up in naps in the middle of the day; the both
of them on the couch, probably with him lying on top of them. He’d
actually fall asleep quickly so if his s/o doesn’t follow suit, he won’t realize it until he wakes up.
When they faint for
the first time, he’s in the same room when it happens and he sees
them fall through the reflection of his monitor. It takes less than 2
seconds for him to bolt out of his chair and rush to their side –
he has a more or less extensive knowledge about everything and that
include what to do when someone passes out. He’d take care of them
the best he can and wait by their side until they open their eyes;
he’d feel guilty that they never got any sleep and ended up in this
state ‘because of him’ but he’d use all the knowledge and resources he
has access to in order to help them.
brother, he’s used to it – if anything, he fears sleep a bit
because he feels vulnerable when he has his eyes closed + he doesn’t
have any control over what happens in his head when he sleeps and
judging from all the nightmares that leave him in tears, it’s no
wonder he tries to stay awake all the time. But still, he’s trying to
get a better, more normal life and his health is weak enough as it
is, he can’t afford to make it worse, not now that he has a s/o who
cares for him – so he’ll be there for them when they can’t sleep
and they’ll be there for him when a nightmare tears him away from his
The first time they
pass out, they’re probably together since he doesn’t like being alone
and while he’s next to them and able to catch them before they hit
the ground; he’s terrified at seeing his s/o, unconscious in his arms
– it reminds him of a recurrent nightmare he has except they are
usually covered in blood and no longer breathing. He’d have to take a
minute to calm down, clutching their body close to him to reassure
himself with the sound of their beating heart. Once he’s able to
think properly, he’d call an ambulance and keep a hand around their
wrist, making sure he can always feel their pulse. After that
episode, he asks for help to everyone – even his brother – and
won’t give up until they can finally fall asleep without insomnia
holding them back.
It’s OK to go No Contact with your family. Or not.
It’s ok if you want to go no contact with your family.
It’s ok if you don’t want to or you can’t or you don’t think it is the right time.
Either way, abuse is never ok.
The thing about society is it sends us a lot of damaging messages, from the standard of beauty to what we need in terms of things to how we should treat each other. Society is not teaching us that, beauty is something we are entitled to judge for ourselves, We do not need more things to be happy and the way we treat each other works both ways. Society as a whole does not adjust for bad parents. It does not see or recognise mental abuse from the people who are expected to love us the most.
“You are oversensitive” “I am always walking on eggshells around you” “You over complicate things”
Your family is rude. They want to continue to be rude to you. Being rude to you makes them feel good about themselves. Society does not like rudeness but, society does not recognise that your family does not apologise or hold themselves accountable for their behaviour when it comes to you.
“You are so difficult” “You make everything harder than it needs to be” “You are so selfish”
Your family lies. They want to continue to project an image of perfection. They want what happens behind closed doors to stay there and out of the public view. Society sees our behaviour in public. Society does not see what happens in the privacy of our homes. Society only see’s the false smile, not the tone and the words that are hidden by it.
“I never said that” “It’s all in your head” “Normal people wouldn’t be upset by that”
Your family wants to convince you, you are crazy, that you are the problem. They enjoy feeling like they are better than you. They enjoy the sympathy they get from their friends and other family members who do not know they are invested in a lie. Society accepts a level of mental illness in the individual. Mental illness in groups is the stuff of horror movies, families of cannibals and murderers, inbred and grotesque and obvious. Society does not see dysfunction on a family wide level. That personality disorders can be genetic or learned or both.
If you have been scapegoated by your family, you are a worthwhile member of society. What they hate about you is everything they are missing from themselves. You are honest. You have a good moral code. You love deeply. You are strong.
Society needs to evolve, it needs to change.
You have every right to stand up and be counted. You have every right to hold your family accountable. That is something they will never do, they will never hold themselves accountable. They will never admit wrong doing and they will never ever apologise. They will not have empathy for you or for anyone and they will never love anyone but, themselves. They will never stop. They will hide it though, in order to be accepted and they will value you solely for the fact that you are the only one they can truly be themselves around. You will be their outlet, their emotional punchbag, the stepping stool to their pedestal. All so that they can be a convincing member of society the rest of the time.
You will probably find the most empathy and understanding from those who had good parents and are good parents themselves. You will also find it with those of us who have also woken up to our dysfunctional families. Everyone else is too invested in the lie that is the expectation of society and not the reality of their own situations or faults.
Going No Contact is not about punishing them, it is not about hurting them.
No Contact is about protecting you.
If your husband or wife or friend or boyfriend or girlfriend were putting you down, belittling you, withholding affection, withholding necessities, celebrating your mistakes and sabotaging your achievements society would tell you to walk away.
So when those people come, those well meaning members of society who will say:
“Life is too short” “You only get one mum/one dad” “They will be dead one day” “You should really try to make amends before it’s too late” “You are being so unfair” “They miss you terribly”
Remember they are nothing if not, a product of society.
Remember that you do not have to explain yourself to them.
Remember that, the people who mentally abused you, who are lacking the characteristics that make up a fully functioning human being, have no right to be a part of society at all.
Fall in love with my Guilty Eyes (shutdown shutdown) Guilty Fever I won’t give it to anyone; this (shutdown shutdown) Guilty Fever
You can’t decide yes or no clearly Laughing while hiding your intentions is your bad habit If you don’t choose everyone will disappear (Everyone, everyone) They will disappear
It’s okay to be greedy As long as it’s not a lie, I’ll accept it Please confess with no worries Tell me the truth (More, more) I want to know it
My Guilty Eyes have always been aiming at you And I want to capture all of your existence You are my love
Can’t run away Shutdown to a world with only two of us There’s no need for anyone else I want you to say that you love me
I’m honest; Look into my eyes
(love with Fever) You made me fall deep in love (Guilty Fever)
Fall in love with my Guilty Eyes (shutdown shutdown) Guilty Fever I won’t give it to anyone; this (shutdown shutdown) Guilty Fever
And here is Guilty Eyes Fever, the bonus song from Guilty Kiss that you get from ordering a complete BD Box set from Animate! Finally, a yandere song that’s quite… scary… at some parts… Not the kind of Guilty Kiss that I expected… but it still sounds pretty good!