accept others not for liking the things you like

anonymous asked:

So I got accepted to a master's program in my last resort school, rejected by a backup school, and waitlisted for my first choice PhD program. I haven't heard from any of the other schools, and I've been feeling horribly dejected lately cause I feel like I failed and all I wanted was to get into a PhD program but it doesn't look like that's actually gonna happen Sorry I'm kind of drunk and sad and felt the need to bitch to someone

that sucks

but! it takes a lot of people multiple applications rounds, and a lot of people do their masters before their phd for whatever reason, so trust me, you’re not alone and you can still do a phd even if it’s not this round

The signs in a nutshell

Aries: Either very angry or very calm, always looking to pick a fight even if it doesn’t involve them. They love so much but are so scared to admit it they’d rather hide behind the fire.

Taurus: Very sweet, always there for you to talk to when you need it. Very loving but try to make it hard for you to love them back. Often the ‘mom’ of the friend group, loves looking out for others.

Gemini: Either sweet and shy or outgoing and argumentative. Loves to talk about their passions and ideas, very open minded. Very detached but loves to love.

Cancer: Puts up a front like they’re hard and tough at first. Usually acts like they don’t care which is ironic because they care about e v e r y t h i n g. Accepts you for who you are and talks about anything you want, great conversationist and loving people.

Leo: Subconsciously does things for attention. Has one or two people they’re themselves with because they don’t want to get hurt. Loves very deeply and everyone underestimates that. Will be mean for your attention but is actually so sweet and so caring. Would protect you forever.

Virgo: Detached but loves very much. Thinks of other people before themselves but likes to talk about themselves a lot. Huge dorks, have watched probably every sci-fi show/movie you can name. Good person to tell your secrets to, they will love you through anything.

Libra: Quiet but sociable. Doesn’t like their private life to be known or mouthed about. Their mind is always somewhere else, always thinking up scenarios. Cutest people to be friends with, will always have your back.

Scorpio: Intense and likes to come off as complicated but really isn’t. Wants to be loved and wants to love. Can be mean if they’re nervous or if you’re being rude. Don’t hold grudges but pretend they do. Mysterious because nobody really asks them about themselves. Very awkward and loving when you crack their shell. Will love you forever no matter how dirty you do them.

Sagittarius: Subconsciously problematic. Likes the thrill of things they aren’t supposed to do and are usually attracted to people they wouldn’t expect. Is a huge dork, loves to talk about art and music and passions. Will lie to cover you up, will sneak you out at 3 in the morning. Great friends, never give up on you.

Capricorn: Likes to pretend everything is okay , likes when other people are happy. Very thoughtful and generous and remember little things about you. Kind-hearted but have an evil side. Lowkey brats when they don’t get their way. Very easy to love, funny and loving people.

Aquarius: Big weirdos. Very awkward and usually tall. Have long limbs which makes them even awkwarder. Love music with a passion and want harmony. Very accepting and always there for you to talk to. Takes them a while to get comfortable but will love you like nobody else. Can get annoying but just want you to know they care.

Pisces: Sweetest most open minded sign. Love very hard even if you do them dirty. Loves to show affection and shower you in love even when they can’t afford it or think the relationship is going wrong. Blames themselves for a lot of things, feels like they have no one to talk to but let’s everyone know they’re always there. You can tell them anything and they’ll hold your hand through it. Loving and compassionate.

i like that stimming is viewed positively online but like if you love me with glitter jars and light patterns, you have to love me with rocking, flapping, hair twirling, and chewing. you dont get to pick and choose what kind of stimming you embrace when you get to know a person. you cant just accept my pretty stim things and reject the others. it doesnt work like that. dont forget it.

Only a handful of days separate you from the end of the year. While I’m not big on new year’s resolutions, I like to treat a new year like a new book. An empty page to start over. The beginning of a new chapter or a new story altogether. An old year ending and a new year beginning doesn’t mean any of the mistakes you made or the things you regret are erased. It doesn’t make days you dread any easier or shit situations you’re stuck in disappear. But it gives you a chance to find acceptance, not in others, but in yourself. You can start over, not only on January 1st, but also on every single morning that comes after. Hell, you can even start over tomorrow morning. If there is one piece of advice I can give you for 2017, it’s this one: be more forgiving. You have been blessed with this one life and you don’t know how much longer you will get to live it. Please be considerate. Please be compassionate. Please try to accept yourself, flaws and all, and spend more time doing what makes your heart race. If you love someone, tell them. Maybe it’s what they need to hear. Spend the last days of 2016 being grateful. I’m so glad you made it through another year. You are loved and deserve the world. To a happy 2017.
—  I hope you know. I just wanted to make sure you did.
n.j. { @ninasdrafts }

anonymous asked:

Dear Hank, I am a 20-something straight white male, and I am finding it increasingly hard to not hate what I am because of other people who are that. I find myself wrestling with self-destructive and violent impulses towards other people like me. The simple fact of the matter is we deserve to be bled like swine for the damage we've done to the world and all the other people in it. How do you accept the monstrous history of our race without becoming some sort of serial killer?

Oy…

This is awful. This is an awful, awful thing to feel. I have never felt guilty about the power I’ve been given. You are not responsible for what people who are not you did just because you benefitted from their actions. You are only responsible for your actions and what you do with that power.

Like, I have a responsibility to do good with the power I’ve been given, but I’ve never hated myself because I happened to be born with the skin color, gender, biological sex, or bank account I was born with. I feel those things as a weight because I want to use the power I have well. But do not hate yourself because of something you didn’t do. 

The days when you love yourself will be the best days of your life. Love radiates from being to being like a unstoppable force, loving yourself will result in you loving others. Find peace with who you are and how you feel, accept how you manifest and acknowledge the beauty in others. Loving yourself is the most beautiful thing you can do, for yourself and the universe.
— 

L o v e by Amy Kennedy

24/02/17

Like this? Check out my book!

you know what i fucking hate?

99% of the time if a man starts crying or talking about their valid feelings, people will deny it and tell them to suck it up, and it’s “no big deal”. i hate that men’s feelings will be denied and overlooked in most situations. feelings and physical pain, people somehow think that women are the only ones allowed to be depressed, the only ones to be sad. even families of males everywhere dismiss their feelings because of the stereotype of the “macho man”.

right now, imagine something you didn’t like happened. someone no one really likes. imagine if your significant other hit you in public, and someone/multiple people saw it. they’d most likely confront them, yeah? well, switch that around, and imagine you’re a male for the day. your female significant other abuses you in public, hits you, throws their drink in your face, yells at you, calls you names, things that wouldn’t necessarily be acceptable if it was reversed.

the likely situation is that people watching will not give two shits about it, and they might even pull out their phone and record it. imagine that happening, you being humiliated, hit, and degraded by some girl who thinks that’s just fine, that you just automatically don’t feel pain, because you’re a boy. people laughing and cheering her on, recording it, taking no concern whatsoever because they automatically think that you did something wrong, and that’s why she’s “standing up” to you. pretty fucking sucky, huh?

imagine you’re at the doctor, and you’re about 16. you’re getting your blood drawn, you don’t want to look at it, you look away, and you start crying because it feels weird. your mom/dad starts consoling you and comforting you, because you’re in pain and you feel uncomfy, right? the nurse/doctor starts comforting you as well, because they see you’re not happy and they want to be nice.

switch that around, you’re a boy, you’re the same age. you start crying. your parents say “stop crying, don’t be a baby” and the doctors just start laughing. your sibling pulls out their phone and starts recording you, because you’re being “so dramatic” and you’re acting like such a pussy, right? you finish, the needle is out, and your family makes fun of you the whole way back home, and your sibling posts the video they just took on facebook.

boys, you’re allowed to be sad. you’re allowed to have feelings. you should be able to stand up for yourself, you can make a good argument.

your feelings matter.

One very important thing that I have learned is to stop comparing my life to others. Sometimes, my chapter 1 isn’t like her chapter 1. And more than likely my chapter 14 isn’t like her chapter 14. And I can’t compare my chapter 1 to her chapter 21. They’re all completely incomparable. Everyone has a different path that life is taking them down. Each path is filled with lessons that you can either learn and grow from or let hinder you and depress you. I have accepted my path and what is possibly in store for me, and I’ve chosen to be optimistic about it all. Because honestly, tomorrow (or any day) could be the best day of my life! I will not allow myself to be sad because my life is not moving at the pace I may want it to. There is a silver living in every day and I’ve chosen to see each one. Life is not a competition to see who has the “better” one. The only person who you should be competing with is your past self.

Abusers usually start off by challenging small boundaries. (A boundary = you saying “no” to something the other person wants.)

At first they’ll often try to coax, cajole, tease, playfully mock, or convince you to agree to something small that you don’t want to, or set up a situation where you feel like it would be rude to say no, or they’ll just do things without permission and make you feel like it would be rude to ask them to stop.

Over time you’ll find yourself with fewer and fewer choices, and saying no will come at higher and higher costs. At first, saying no might just be a hassle because you have to convince them to accept it and maybe reassure them that you do like them or things along those lines.

Then it might reach a point where saying no starts a fight that you’d just rather not deal with, and/or where you know your boundary will just be ignored or you’ll be steamrolled into “changing your mind”.

Eventually saying no just isn’t worth it because you know you’ll be punished for hours/days/weeks and forced to give concessions to “make up for how much you hurt them” by saying no - even if you gave in later and said yes.

This progression usually happens so gradually that it’s hard to notice, and often it’s not so much that they’re physically forcing you to do things you don’t like as it is them making your life absolutely miserable if they don’t get their way 100% of the time, and making you feel guilty for being bothered by that.

That’s abuse. There are some choices that should be yours and yours alone, and in a healthy relationship your boundaries are important.

things to remind yourself of:

  • being aromantic is okay.
  • not wanting romance is okay.
  • wanting romance is also okay.
  • many people are aro. you’re not the only one in the world even though it feels like it, even though it seems like everyone around you is straight/other orientations.
  • having trouble accepting your aro identity is okay.
  • being proud of your aro identity is okay.
  • getting upset when you encounter arophobia is definitely okay.
  • being aromantic is okay. it’s okay. it’s okay. it’s okay.

To me I think that feminism is like a sisterhood concept, where we accept each other and make things more possible for everyone. I think that the problem is that there are too many people saying this is what feminism is and this is what it isn’t. And telling people you can’t do this, you can’t do that. They tell you what to be like as a mother and as a working woman. It doesn’t allow for the individual variation and everyone having to find their own thing. It would be great to take the judgement out of feminism and let’s like support each other. So, if you need a year off after having a baby or if you want to go straight back to work—let’s make both of those scenarios possible. We’ve got to create a society where it’s possible. 

Things I love about the current cast of SNL:

-Like a lil family
-Everyone’s fully accepting of everyone
-They have to make-out with each other on live tv and probably laugh about it after
-Kate and Leslie have sleepovers like middle-schoolers
-They all watch Master Chef Jr. on Wednesdays how cute is that????
-They did the mannequin challenge
-They have each other’s backs
-Aidy took Kate kayaking??
-They tell people to back off when they discriminate the gay cast members
-They have fun at work what more could you ask for
-Squad Goals

like literally like. th moment u stop being afraid of liking something, whether its bc its for kids or its not something you usually enjoy or the thing is seen as embarrassing to others, like, the literal Moment you cast those insecurities away and Accept that you like things and like them without question, you feel so, s o much better

like theres so many people right now like ‘why is lazytown popular??? isnt that a k i d s thing???’ ‘why is there a lazytown fandom???’ ‘this is good….if you ignore its for kids its Good’ like

get rid of that!!! that doesnt matter!!! you can still enjoy it!!! it’s ok!!!! literally just let yourself enjoy it!!!!! get as invested as you want in it!!!

like th literal second i stopped limiting myself to enjoying stuff bc it might be ~~~embarrassing~~~ or its ~~~for kids~~~ ive been such a happier + more passionate person??

like. let yourself like things. dont cut yourself off from enjoying something for silly, unnecessary reasons. if you find yourself liking something, go! go watch it! enjoy it! have fun!!!! its ok!!!!!!!!!!

Spring

It took a whole season change, but he’s going to do this. Lucius Malfoy finds Narcissa in the library to deliver his apology.

Lucius: *whispered* Just hear me out. I never meant to offend you, or your family. It was wildly inappropriate of me, and I’m sorry.

Narcissa: I accept your apology.

Lucius: Narcissa, we are going to be married regardless of our feelings on the subject and there is one thing the Malfoy family doesn’t have that I would like to change in our generation.

Lucius: Two people who actually like each other.

Narcissa: … 

I’ll be ready by 7..

can you believe how iconic™ Alec lightwood’s storyline is?? like how he is allowed to make the point that coming out literally saved his life?? and like how after he comes out nothing changes between him and his friends, he just goes back to work because there was so many other important things happening?? and how he was allowed to stand up to the people who didnt accept it?? and how the people who didnt accept it were villainised?? like do you know how sick i am of seeing the homophobes as the victims?? like too often we see how someone coming out effects the people around them and not the actual one who came out????? but with Alec we see him finally open and smiling and standing up for himself?? With Alec, being gay is the thing that saved him

why is the q slur always the ONE thing which liberals running “social justice blogs” get into a heat over being asked to tag? like i’m sorry but there’s nothing “radical” or “enlightened” or “revolutionary” about refusing to tag literal hate slurs on your “uwu acceptance uwu social justice uwu” blog, especially when the hate slurs in question are such a common trigger for so many people. if you’re willing to tag just about any other trigger or hate slur on your “accessible/oppressed minority-friendly” blog EXCEPT for that one, then you have some serious guile and need to rethink your stances.

like get off your fucking moral high horse and look at the bigger picture here. there are people who don’t want to see that word due to SPECIFICALLY lgbt-related abuse they’ve endured, and refusing to tag it or even just acknowledge it as the hate slur that it is only tells me that you’re nowhere as “radical” or “enlightened” or “revolutionary” as you believe you are, and therefore not to be trusted on lgbt issues. it’s that simple. 

tfw total stranger thinks i give a shit about their shipping preferences lmao

If yall need a reminder: this an Overwatch blog dedicated to mostly Overwatch art and memes.  I can reblog ANY SHIP (except pedo shit, i aint gross) EVEN SHIPS I DONT PERSONALLY PREFER because I’m not a pissbaby who can’t deal with different people liking different stuff than me.

I don’t care if you don’t like a ship. I’m not reblogging posts for the ship.   As long as the art is nice or cute or funny, I will probably reblog it – it just so happens that most of the ship art in this fandom is gay lol. 

For the record I don’t think I reblogged anything explicitly gency lately but even if I did? this blog isn’t defined by one ship.  spoiler alert: that’s not the only het ship i’ve ever reblogged, nor will it be the last.

So yeah if you can’t handle seeing a piece of het fanart once in a rare while then please unfollow me now, preferably without bothering me about it.