ac friend

anonymous asked:

To the ace whose friend couldn't be with them because of their asexuality: I'm ace as well and very sex repulsed. I have a girlfriend. So dont worry. you're not undateable because you're ace. You'll find someone, the right someone. :)

^

this exactly. I thought for a long time that I was doomed to loneliness after so many of my relationships went bad or worse, but I was wrong.

-Dew

not to stir up drama but um ace people are always part of the q*eer community!!! you don’t want ace people in our community?? okay well tell that to my 13 year old sibling’s sweet beautiful kind baby face lmao break his fucking heart bc that’s what you’re doing here you’re ripping away his identity and telling him he belongs nowhere like honestly i’m done! unfollow me block me idc im 20 years old and i can’t deal with this ridiculous shiiiiit anymore!

In defense of Asexuality

Okay so, being a bisexual man, I may not be the *best* person to talk on this subject, but I will just go over all that my Ace friends have taught me about their sexuality. And this is response to all the Acephobia I’ve seen on this site, which quite frankly, is RIDICULOUS. Especially when it comes from the LGBT+ community too.

What Acephobes think Asexuality is: Just cishets choosing to abstain from sex and trying to be oppressed OR people who haven’t found the “right person” to fuck.

What Asexuality actually is: The inability to be SEXUALLY attracted to any sex or gender.

Now let me explain with an example. Say that there is a Bi Ace named Trina. Trina does feel romantic attraction to boys and girls. However, whenever she sees a conventionally attractive man or woman, she may admire their beauty and she may want to date them, but she doesn’t get wet from just looking at them. Her body doesn’t tell her “Hey, let’s have sex with that person!” whenever she sees someone. That’s pretty much Asexuality in a nutshell. Unlike the rest of us, they can’t feel sexual desire towards another person just from looking at them.

And a little footnote: Just because an Asexual can’t be sexually attracted to anyone, it does NOT mean they don’t have sex drives either. Like any other person, their bodies may tell them every once in a while, “Hey buddy! It’s about that time for an ORGASM.” And at that point, they might bust a nut by any means necessary, INCLUDING actually having sex with whatever gender they’re romantically attracted to. So get the idea out of your heads that ALL Aces are sex-repulsed or abstain from sex. They can have urges, too. It’s just that other people can’t bring on these urges for them. But they may still fuck them just to satisfy their libido.

Now, just going off of what I learned previously about sexuality, it was really easy to comprehend for me just exactly how Asexuality works. But what I don’t understand is why is the LGBT+ community(on this site, at least) so quick to turn all Aces away? They’re all technically sexual minorities too. They deviate from the “norm” of attraction, which would be Hetero-romanticism and Heterosexuality. Also, y’all DO realize that there are Gay, Bi, Poly, and Pan Aces out there too, right? It’s not just a “cishet” thing.

So yeah, that’s my two cents on the whole “Ace discourse.” And Acephobes, please do get your shit together.

anonymous asked:

I dunno what to think about this whole ace thing because I have many ace friends and I want to say they're a part of this community but is their cishet then tbh they kinda aren't but I don't wanna hurt these friends by being like yeah you don't fucking belong in my community fuck your guys. Can you feel where I'm coming from? As a gay trans guy it's hard to accept them but they do face some shit for being ace but it's nothing like what we face for being trans/gay/whatever.

I mean yeah they get “bullied” online but like you said it’s nothing like what LGBT people face day by day 

cishet ace/aros and asexual aromantics are Not inherantly LGBT 

if they’re gay, lesbian, bi/pan, and/or trans as well as being ace/aro then yeah they’re part of the lgbt but its not because they’re ace aro

Like yeah I get where you’re coming from honestly but… ace/aro people still arent inherently LGBT and they’re not opressed in the least

the time my best friend compared my sexuality to a shirt

Okay, so I know the title is weird, but hear me out. I was sitting at lunch with my six friends, two of which are also ace. In NC, we have this really ugly t-shirt brand called Simply Southern and we were talking about how we didn’t like the shirts, and one of my friends goes “That’s discrimination.” as a joke, then my best friend, being dead serious goes “Yeah, that would be like me not liking you because you’re asexual.”. My two ace friends, and even my other friend who isn’t ace, were so pissed. One of them ended up yelling at her the next day, which I was absent for. I just figured that this would make for a good story time.

anonymous asked:

I'm in love with a guy who is asexual and I'm asexual but he said he doesn't want to date anyone his friends say it's because he is asexual but he doesn't know that I am too what should I have

He could be aromantic and not want to date anyone for that reason. You should talk to him and find out more about him, as well as sharing the fact that you’re asexual with him. If he still turns out to be uninterested, which he very well may be, don’t take it personally, and definitely don’t pressure him to date you. You guys can still be ace friends!

You know who doesn’t get enough love? Ace boys. So here’s to the demi or grey-ace or ace boys. Here’s to the boys who get told by society that they should be all about sex but who don’t feel the same way. Here’s to the aro boys who get told they’re jerks for not wanting a relationship. It’s ok, you’re ok! You and your feelings are valid.

I’m so ace you don’t understand I just realized yesterday that “make love, not war” is referring to having sex. Like. I have been on this planet almost two decades and not once realized this. I always thought it meant just straight up loving one another? Bringing peace? Fostering an environment for happiness and love? I can’t believe I didn’t realize. I’m too ace for this (not so?) subtle euphemism. Happy asexual awareness week to me

Ok no, you know what? I AM pissed right now.
I had a very dear friend of mine literally break down crying in my arms when I told her that asexuality exists and that she might be asexual like me and that she was not broken or the only person on this planet who didn’t feel any sexual attraction to anybody. 
I used to have another friend who was told by her family that she was useless for her husband and that there was something wrong with her because she did not feel sexual attraction. She went through several relationships involving sexual actions that she did not want but went through anyway because she thought she had to. When she told me that she actually never felt sexually attracted to anyone she had basically already resigned to being a weirdo, being abnormal, being less than. 
I used to hate myself. I still struggle with that but I really used to hate myself because I couldn’t get myself to feel the same things that other people seemed to feel. When I realised asexuality was a thing and that that thing might be something that actually described me and my situation and how I felt, I was so relieved - mostly because I had thought I was alone and then suddenly there were all these people who felt the same thing, who had the same experiences. For the first time since puberty started basically I did not feel awkward and weird and somehow less than everyone around me. I felt like a whole person. I felt complete. 
So how DARE you say that asexuals are “basically straight”, “just identifying as ace to avoid straight privilege”?! How DARE you mock that moment of relief that so many people on the ace spectrum experience when they realise that they are not alone, that they are not the only ones feeling like this, that they do have a community and support and people they can talk to about their experiences?! Shame on you!